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Better Projection Pays!

"How about the Imax/Costner/Cameron Print weight Lifting compertition?"

OK,to make this one MUCH more interesting:

You will have a print of Branaugh's 'Hamlet' with one side abnormally stretched, guaranteeing a spongy, loooooose wind. You and your partner (just TWO people) have to move this print from one end of the booth to the other in the fastest time WITHOUT CLAMPS, SCOOPS, OR TAPE (taped-down tails are allowed to a platter wi NON-REMOVEABLE brains. Seconds deducted for any abnormal deformation of the print wind, and total DQ if the print comes apart in any way that would make it unplayable...

You want weight lifting events? how about the 'Complete assembled projector Moving competition' There will be four weight classes:

Flyweight: A Simplex Standard/SH1000 on a 3-point base

Middleweight: A Century SA/R3 combo on a standard Century pedestal

Heavyweight: A Norelco AAII

Super-Heavyweight: A Gaumont-Kalee

Aaron

I forgot to mention the splicing contest. Whoever can make a splice in a 10 second loop that will run the longest in a given projector without breaking. Projector must be in poor condition and splicing tape must be nothing but the cheapest crap available. No cheating will be allowed by using FilmGuard or any other form of lubricant. You may pick your own tape splicer.

Also, the Costner dump contest. Whatever the next Costner film is (of course, guaranteed to be really damn long), a platter will be seriously mistimed to throw the print onto the floor. Whoever can put the film back together with the least amount of scratching and splices wins. Any out of frame splices or out of order (or upside down and backwards) and you are immediately disqualified. John Pytlak and all of the Kodak SCREENCHECK guys will all be present with their digital beards to judge this one.

Here's one that can be of daily use: The grubby little kids vs. the port glass contest. The dirtiest and greasiest child we can find will be brought in fresh from a huge Kentucky Fried Chicken eating contest without wiping his hands and will grease up the port window as best as he can given his allotted 30 seconds. Then the contestant who can clean the glass to "new" quality the quickest wins. Don't we all wish we were good enough to win that one?

Then there's the laser pointer contest. Whoever can find the violator of the presentation in progress in a 1000 seat sold out auditorium and punish them in the best manner will be awarded the champion here. Points will be given based upon search time as well as punishment. We won't be looking for the politically correct method of punishment, but the desired fantasy punishment we all would love to see come true. Charleton Heston will be on hand to provide any desired weapons and Russell Crowe will be on hand to provide any pre-training desired.

And to whom had the mid show xenon lamp change while not going below 16fL...that must be a platter contest...it really isn't tricky on the reels.

For the weightlifing events...we simply must have the hand-cranked rewinder...each contestent must hand rewind from a 1 inch core and entire Costner feature onto a single reel...and did I say no gear reduction on the handcrank?

Steve

Steve

Take your keyed core and chuck that puppy up in a screw gun! -- Zip! Zip! Pads are rewound! (Set the clutch on "1"!!!)

Other events: "Nickel racing"

Take a nickel (U.S.A. 5 cent coin) and balance it on edge on a running platter deck. Inertia and the momentum of the platter will cause it to roll in place as the platter rotates beneath it. This is a test to prove how well leveled, timed and smooth running the platter is. My record is over 2 minutes!

Fastest person to most accurately adjust the flat/scope masking motor limit switches while projecting RP40. The switches at the motor are disabled. Points are deducted if the RP40 loop breaks, and the person has to dash up before the lens burns.

Aperture plate filing. First round is with single format plates. Second round is with Cinemeccanica three-on-one format plates.

(Variation of the plate-spinning guy on Ed Sullivan) A 20 plex is running. Every one minute, one feed-out motor is disabled. Whoever can keep the most number of shows going wins. Additional points are awarded if the person can eat an entire burger, (while still warm) and keep things going.

Stupid home-office tricks: Several prints run in one house during the day then a different house at night. How many and how often can prints be swapped around and not delay a start, drop a print, etc.

How many trailers ("These have to be on before the DM gets here!") can be added to a print at the last minute.

Brad: priceless!