President Bush was very curious about how the Jewish people knew everything before he did. So he called the CIA and FBI and asked them to figure it out. A week later they came back and said, "Mr. President, the Jews have something called Shabbat, and they meet each other at the synagogue, and there is a code.

They sit, they pray, and there is a word that is the key to this secret: "Nu?" When one says to other, "Nu?", the other tells him everything... every bit of news."

This Bush wanted to see for himself. The secret service dressed him like a Hassid, and taught him to read from the right to the left of the Siddur (prayer book ).

Bush arrived at a synagogue on Shabbat, and sat beside another religious man. He waited for a moment, and said, "Nu?"

At Heathrow Airport in England, a 300-foot red carpet was stretched out to Air Force One and President Bush strode to a warm but dignified handshake from Queen Elizabeth II. They rode in a silver 1934 Bentley limousine to the edge of central London where they boarded an open 17th century coach hitched to six magnificent
white horses

As they rode toward Buckingham Palace, each looking to their side and waving to the thousands of cheering Britons lining the streets, all was going well. This was indeed a glorious display of pageantry and dignity....

George W. Bush has changed his mind about using limited nuclear bombs against the Axis of Evil countries....Instead, he's using a weapon of mass destruction.

George Dubya was speeding down the road near his Texas ranch when
a State Trooper came alongside and flagged him down.

Getting out of his car the trooper, brand new and anxious to write up his first speeder, approached the car and, as the Prez rolled down the window, he asked, "Lemme see your driver's license."

Bush, with a sneer, asked, "Do you know who I am?"

"I don't care who you are, I wanna see your driver's license!"

Reluctantly, Dubya took out his wallet, extracted the license and
handed it to the trooper.

Looking at the license, the trooper blanched white.

"Know who I am now?" asked Bush.

"Jesus Christ!!!" exclaimed the trooper.

President Dubya was awakened one night by an urgent call from the Pentagon.
"Mr. President," said the four-star general, barely able to contain himself, "there's good news and bad news."

"Oh, no..." muttered the President, "Well, let me have the bad news first."

"The bad news, sir, is that we've been invaded by creatures from another planet."

"Gosh, and the good news?"

"The good news, sir, is that they eat reporters and pee oil."

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