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This topic comprises 2 pages: 1 2
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Author
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Topic: Government
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Gordon Bachlund
Jedi Master Film Handler
Posts: 696
From: Monrovia, CA, USA
Registered: Aug 1999
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posted 03-01-2012 02:02 PM
Rated G...
Sven and Ole worked together in a Minnesota factory....and both were laid off. So... dey went to the Unemployment Office togedder. Asked his occupation, Ole said, “Panty Stitcher. I sew da elastic onto da ladies cotton panties.” The clerk looked up “Panty Stitcher”
Finding it classified as unskilled labor, she gave Ole $300 a week in unemployment compensation. Sven, when asked his occupation replied, “Diesel Fitter.”
The clerk looked up Diesel Fitter...and it was classified as a skilled job. So, the clerk gave Sven $600 a week in Unemployment compensation.
When Ole found this out, he was furious! He stormed back into the office to find out why his friend and co-worker was collecting double his benefits. The clerk explained, “Panty Stitchers are unskilled labor and Diesel Fitters are skilled labor.”
"Vat skill? yelled Ole. "I sew da elastic on da panties. Sven puts dem over his head and says, "Yah--DIESEL FITTER.”
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Gordon Bachlund
Jedi Master Film Handler
Posts: 696
From: Monrovia, CA, USA
Registered: Aug 1999
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posted 02-18-2019 11:05 AM
[B]Rated G.....[/B
A redneck was stopped by a game warden recently with two ice chests full of fish. He was leaving a cove that’s well-known for its fishing. The game warden asked the man, “Do you have a license to catch those fish?”
“No, sir,” replied the redneck. “I ain’t got none of them there licenses, these here are my pet fish.”
“Pet fish?”
“Yeah, every night, I take these here fish down to the lake and let ’em swim ’round for awhile. Then, when I whistle, they jump right back into these here ice chests and I take ’em back home.”
“That’s a bunch of crap! Fish can’t do that.”
The redneck looked at the warden for a moment and then said, “It’s the truth, Mr. Government Man, I’ll show ya. It really works.”
“OK,” said the warden. “I’ve got to see this!”
The redneck poured the fish into the lake and stood and waited. After several minutes, the warden says, “Well?”
Well, what?” says the redneck.
The warden says, “When are you going to call them back?”
“Call who back?”
The FISH,” replied the warden.
“What fish?” replied the redneck.
Moral of this story: We may not be as smart as some city slickers, but we ain’t as dumb as some government employees.
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