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Author Topic: Hollywood Bob Maar (Maar stands for Maartini) Posts: 28608 From: New York City & Newport, RI Registered: Feb 2001 posted 03-27-2007 04:33 PM                        Rated G Marty It was a simpler time back then. We were so easily entertained. We would watch anything. We'd watch a flying nun; we'd watch a talking horse. We are so much more sophisticated now, watching people eat bugs and marry strangers for money.  |  IP: Logged Bob Maar (Maar stands for Maartini) Posts: 28608 From: New York City & Newport, RI Registered: Feb 2001 posted 10-18-2007 12:56 PM                        Rated G Lorraine The story of Mary Poppins as a nanny is well known. Less well- known is her subsequent tale.... She traveled to Hollywood, where she opened a shop on Sunset Boulevard as a fortune-teller. Of course we already know she has supernatural powers, so it's no surprise that she was quite skilled in fortune-telling, and her reputation grew rapidly. She continued to tell fortunes, and found that in particular, she always received a very strong premonition whenever someone was about to have an onset of bad breath. Her predictions of this turned out to be accurate 100% of the time. In order to publicize her success at this, she had a large sign placed above her door, which read: Super California Mystic Expert Halitosis.  |  IP: Logged Bob Maar (Maar stands for Maartini) Posts: 28608 From: New York City & Newport, RI Registered: Feb 2001 posted 10-25-2007 08:53 AM                        Rated G Lorraine The producer of a low budget film is trying to convince the newly hired director of the quality of the work by telling him the big names they've gotten for the cast. "First of all," he tells him, "We've got Gibson in the lead." The director is surprised, "You got Mel Gibson?" "Well, no," the producer responds, "we got Marvin Gibson, he's a distant cousin who lives in Queens, but he's very up and coming. And besides, we've also got Redford." "You got Robert Redford?" the director asks. "No, we got Jeremy Redford, but he's very talented and has lots of acting experience from years of dinner theater. But," he says enthusiastically, " we've got Streisand and in a singing role." "Barbara Streisand?" he asks. "No, Elizabeth Streisand." The producer responds. "But she's got a great voice. AND we've got Goulet." "You got Robert Goulet?" the director asks. "Yeah," the producer replies glumly, "we got Robert Goulet."  |  IP: Logged Bob Maar (Maar stands for Maartini) Posts: 28608 From: New York City & Newport, RI Registered: Feb 2001 posted 03-13-2008 03:03 PM                        Rated PG Lorraine Edith Sitwell (1887-1964 once received letter from a concerned reader.) "Dear Dame Edith," it read. "As an admirer of your poems I am nevertheless greatly disturbed by a poem containing a line about the mating of tigers. I have a daughter of 19 - at that age when the brook runs into the river - and a son aged 10 who is very restless. I wish to entreat you, dear Dame Edith, when you write your poetry, to consider the disturbing effect that lines like those about the mating of tigers may have on the young." Edith's reply? "Tell your dirty little brats to read King Lear."  |  IP: Logged System Notices Forum Watchdog / Soup Nazi Posts: 215 Registered: Apr 2004 posted 12-02-2010 02:22 PM                 It has been 993 days since the last post.  |  IP: Logged Jonathan M. Crist Jedi Master Film Handler Posts: 531 From: Hershey, PA, USA Registered: Apr 2000 posted 12-02-2010 02:22 PM                     Wesley Snipes, who was convicted in Federal Court in Ocala Florida of failing to pay income taxes for several years (the court having rejected his argument that vampires did not have to pay income taxes), has been sentenced to serve his 3 year prison term at the Federal Correctional Facility in McKean Pennsylvania near the New York border beginning this December 9th. In related news, it has just been announced that Snipes has signed to appear in a direct-to-video sequel entitled "The Next Three Years" (supposedly a continuation of the current Russell Crowe prison escape drama "The Next Three Days") in which Snipes will play a convicted tax evader who breaks out of prison and is pursued by a dogged US Marshall played by Tommy Lee Jones.  |  IP: Logged

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