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Author
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Topic: Wanna hear something totally crazy? I actually have a lunch date!
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Bobby Henderson
"Ask me about Trajan."
Posts: 10973
From: Lawton, OK, USA
Registered: Apr 2001
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posted 04-29-2007 05:46 PM
quote:
ROFL!!! That's FUNNY, Mike!
I'm not so sure that's a joke.
"Nice guy's disease" is, unfortunately, a very real thing. Men and women both are conditioned by our popular culture from a very early age to find mystery, excitement and attraction in things that are bad and destructive. Our society doesn't find anything sexy or appealing in anyone who lives responsibly because that's just too predictable, boring and not mysterious or dangerous. That's compounded further by the need of many Americans to chase after lifestyles they cannot afford.
And I think both genders are very tied up in judging people on their looks, more than ever in fact. The rising rate of men getting plastic surgery only confirms that. Of course, judging people first on looks is pretty stupid, but the more primitive and primal aspects of our nature has us repeating the same idiotic mistakes over and over again.
Men have always been notorious for judging women on appearance. Now lots of women are giving men a dose of their own medicine. That might seem like poetic justice, but the one thing I've observed in all my years of being single is this: there is no getting even with highly attractive people who carelessly hurt others. Confront them and they'll just laugh and move on to the next conquest. Time and its factors of aging, perhaps some VD as well as the loneliness of countless bridges burned are the only things that might dole out some justice to turds like that. Unfortunately, that's even a slim possibility. Usually the heart-breakers out there are going to do just fine. So you just have to accept that bitter truth, move on and protect yourself against such poisonous people in the future. It's hard to tell the difference between such people and an attractive person who actually does have a good heart.
I think the trick to all this is just not giving a shit about superficial, materialistic crap. Youth and beauty fade in just about all who have it. People who desire long term relationships and marriage need to choose based on what will still be there when the prettiness is all gone. But too many are too stupid to do that. Our genitals do more of the decision making than anything else.
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quote: Michael Schaffer
most guys just get more and more desperate and less - even less - picky when they get older, and they hit on everything they think they even remotely have a chance to score. So no, it has nothing to do with you. But it's not something to be flattered by either.
I think it's true that some people will choose a mate they consider "average" to just "settle" after they've failed in chasing a lot of more attractive yet unavailable people. The person who is the object of their attention should have the right to feel insulted by it.
However, experience and pain also plays a part. I'm not a bad looking guy and have dated some really great looking women. But I've also had some painful experiences in dating very attractive women as well. It's not as easy to let down your guard and open up to the prettiest ones.
I'm more likely to approach a woman I don't know who is a little more average looking out of hopes she might be more grown up in how she handles dating. They're also not as scary. You don't know what you're in for half the time with some lady who has had people kissing her ass all her life.
That's not to say dating somebody average or even ugly looking is any means of insurance. I've even seen weird looking people do some pretty mean, underhanded shit to others. But it's all an odds game or game of balance. Everyone wants an attractive mate, but most are willing to make concessions in that area in return for someone that's actually going to stick around and be a real companion.
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