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This topic comprises 2 pages: 1 2
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Author
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Topic: Lack of manners by young people is troublesome
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John Hawkinson
Film God
Posts: 2273
From: Cambridge, MA, USA
Registered: Feb 2002
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posted 02-05-2009 12:55 AM
Not to excuse bad manners, but there are certainly different standards for behavior between different generations. That's not bad manners, it's just the world changing (not nec. for the better).
If we went back 100 years, polite people might say that having a discussion like this in public would be the height of rudeness.
The best thing to do is to set a standard for politeness without sarcasm, retribution, belittling, self-righteousness, or arrogance. It may not be rewarding, and its effectiveness may be less than some other actions you could imagine (e.g. yelling at the entire theatre), but it's the right thing to do.
If someone fails to hold the door for you, why not stop and wait for the next two people and hold the door for them? Etc.
--jhawk
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Carey Barber
Expert Film Handler
Posts: 143
From: Newport News, VA, USA
Registered: Jan 2003
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posted 02-05-2009 09:26 AM
I go back-and-forth on this one...sometimes convinced that this generation is ruder and at other times thinking that this is mostly nonsense.
________
On one hand, I guarantee that if you went back 20 years, or 40 years, or 60 years you would find the exact same complaints about the contemporary generation of young 'uns. That means that the older people of today were at one time considered rude and hopeless. For the older folks that are complaining about "these kids today", I guarantee that someone was saying the same thing about you.
I think that YOUNG PEOPLE are often rude, not just THIS GENERATION of young people. There is peer pressure at work, with a lot of kids feeling that acting a certain way would be lame or corny. Hopefully, they will grow out of this phase, and I think that the past gives us good reason to think that this will be the case.
I should also point out that the ABSOLUTE RUDEST people I have encountered in this business have not been young people but seniors. I have seen older people treat kids in a way that was absolutely uncalled for, being surly, mean, and foul-mouthed. This does not make me think that older people are ruder; it makes me think that this PARTICULAR GUY was a mean old prick.
I have also noticed that middle-aged women are often ridiculously mean to young staff. The attitude is that if you work in retail then you are sub-human. In short, I have seen the entire range of politeness/rudeness in every age group.
Another thing, which has been pointed out by other posters, is that the parents are often to blame. These parents are usually in their 40s or late 30s.
We also have to separate true courtesy concerns with silly regional, generational, or cultural niceties. There are little old ladies around here that think that wearing white after labor day is rude.
___________
On the other hand, I do think a case can be made that this current crop may have all the typical rudeness of youth exacerbated. It is a loud, fast-paced, Paris Hilton-ish culture that a lot of these kids are seeing. There are some really terrible behaviors/attitudes that are not only condoned but actually strived for. Attention spans are shorter and personal relationships are devalued.
In our business, we do have a lot problems because we usually rely on young staff. I have seen some really amazing kids, but I have also seen a lot of terrible ones. Beyond just laziness and rudeness, we have had problems with theft. There is an attitude that the world is owed to them and that stealing from that "faceless corporation" is no big deal. And when the parents come in you understand why this is so. I have seen parents act like we were the criminals when their kid gets fired for stealing, despite the fact that we have him on camera stealing and he has a jar full of cash in his room. With parents like that, the kid is likely doomed.
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Tim Reed
Better Projection Pays
Posts: 5246
From: Northampton, PA
Registered: Sep 1999
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posted 02-05-2009 02:59 PM
Robert, you speak the truth. People are different regionally.
While you wouldn't know it by the way people drive here, some of the nicest people I know and have met, have been in the New York/New Jersey area. Back when I was driving a truck, I could tell differences in the way people behaved, for example, on the loading docks. In NY/NJ it was always a camaraderie atmosphere (the "tough" exterior only being a facade - I was never dis-respected), yet in regions of the country known on the surface for their "hospitality," I found some genuinely rude and overbearing personalities. In six years, I have never been flipped off driving in New York or New Jersey. I was, however, given the bird every time I was in North Carolina. Boston ranked second in that department (sorry, Scott). ![[Frown]](frown.gif)
Does this mean everyone in these areas is like this, and there are no exceptions?
Sure it does. ![[Razz]](tongue.gif) ![[Big Grin]](biggrin.gif)
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Jack Ondracek
Film God
Posts: 2348
From: Port Orchard, WA, USA
Registered: Oct 2002
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posted 02-06-2009 08:45 AM
quote: Tim Reed
Robert, you speak the truth. People are different regionally.
Ahhhh... I don't know...
In my experience, most young people are pretty decent... until they get around a group of their peers. Then, it's all bets off... and THAT'S no different than when I was their age. Many of them tend to express their individuality in a way we might consider 'different' and/or inappropriate, and they have some tools to use that we didn't (cell phones, computers, ipods, 60,000 watt stereos). Otherwise, we're just getting a healthy dose of what we gave our folks, as far as I can see.
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