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» Film-Tech Forum ARCHIVE   » Community   » Film-Yak   » Lack of manners by young people is troublesome (Page 2)

 
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Author Topic: Lack of manners by young people is troublesome
John Hawkinson
Film God

Posts: 2273
From: Cambridge, MA, USA
Registered: Feb 2002


 - posted 02-05-2009 12:55 AM      Profile for John Hawkinson   Email John Hawkinson   Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
Not to excuse bad manners, but there are certainly different standards for behavior between different generations. That's not bad manners, it's just the world changing (not nec. for the better).

If we went back 100 years, polite people might say that having a discussion like this in public would be the height of rudeness.

The best thing to do is to set a standard for politeness without sarcasm, retribution, belittling, self-righteousness, or arrogance. It may not be rewarding, and its effectiveness may be less than some other actions you could imagine (e.g. yelling at the entire theatre), but it's the right thing to do.

If someone fails to hold the door for you, why not stop and wait for the next two people and hold the door for them? Etc.

--jhawk

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Jennifer Pan
THE JEN!

Posts: 1219
From: Denver, Colorado
Registered: Nov 2003


 - posted 02-05-2009 12:59 AM      Profile for Jennifer Pan   Author's Homepage   Email Jennifer Pan   Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
Tim: The people around me were doing about the same speed (45 on city street, not FWY). This dude and his old truck just really likes my car and wanted to makeout with it. I understand it's a very sexy car and that I'm a hot Asian girl in her mid 20's. I would do the same. [Razz] [beer]

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Joe Redifer
You need a beating today

Posts: 12859
From: Denver, Colorado
Registered: May 99


 - posted 02-05-2009 01:27 AM      Profile for Joe Redifer   Author's Homepage   Email Joe Redifer   Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
quote: Justin Hamaker
Maybe it comes off as sexist to today's world, but I've always believed in ladies first.
That went away when women demanded to be treated equally. They fought hard to be treated as one of the guys. They aren't helpless. They can open their own doors. If we constantly treat them like the handicapped, then they'll only be as capable as such. Granted, if I am going through a door and someone is in close proximity, I don't let it close in their face regardless of gender.

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John Wilson
Film God

Posts: 5438
From: Sydney, Australia.
Registered: Dec 1999


 - posted 02-05-2009 02:41 AM      Profile for John Wilson   Email John Wilson   Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
quote: Justin Hamaker
One specific instance that comes to mind is a girl steps up to the concession counter while talking on her phone. As she steps up, she actually tells the person I'll call you back and puts her phone away. I don't think she understood why I said "thank you for that".
She probably thought you were referring to her exposition of her cleavage. [Big Grin]

quote: Jennifer Pan
This dude and his old truck just really likes my car and wanted to makeout with it.
Yes...Undoubtedly it was your car that was on his mind. [eyes]

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Carey Barber
Expert Film Handler

Posts: 143
From: Newport News, VA, USA
Registered: Jan 2003


 - posted 02-05-2009 09:26 AM      Profile for Carey Barber   Email Carey Barber   Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
I go back-and-forth on this one...sometimes convinced that this generation is ruder and at other times thinking that this is mostly nonsense.

________

On one hand, I guarantee that if you went back 20 years, or 40 years, or 60 years you would find the exact same complaints about the contemporary generation of young 'uns. That means that the older people of today were at one time considered rude and hopeless. For the older folks that are complaining about "these kids today", I guarantee that someone was saying the same thing about you.

I think that YOUNG PEOPLE are often rude, not just THIS GENERATION of young people. There is peer pressure at work, with a lot of kids feeling that acting a certain way would be lame or corny. Hopefully, they will grow out of this phase, and I think that the past gives us good reason to think that this will be the case.

I should also point out that the ABSOLUTE RUDEST people I have encountered in this business have not been young people but seniors. I have seen older people treat kids in a way that was absolutely uncalled for, being surly, mean, and foul-mouthed. This does not make me think that older people are ruder; it makes me think that this PARTICULAR GUY was a mean old prick.

I have also noticed that middle-aged women are often ridiculously mean to young staff. The attitude is that if you work in retail then you are sub-human. In short, I have seen the entire range of politeness/rudeness in every age group.

Another thing, which has been pointed out by other posters, is that the parents are often to blame. These parents are usually in their 40s or late 30s.

We also have to separate true courtesy concerns with silly regional, generational, or cultural niceties. There are little old ladies around here that think that wearing white after labor day is rude.

___________

On the other hand, I do think a case can be made that this current crop may have all the typical rudeness of youth exacerbated. It is a loud, fast-paced, Paris Hilton-ish culture that a lot of these kids are seeing. There are some really terrible behaviors/attitudes that are not only condoned but actually strived for. Attention spans are shorter and personal relationships are devalued.

In our business, we do have a lot problems because we usually rely on young staff. I have seen some really amazing kids, but I have also seen a lot of terrible ones. Beyond just laziness and rudeness, we have had problems with theft. There is an attitude that the world is owed to them and that stealing from that "faceless corporation" is no big deal. And when the parents come in you understand why this is so. I have seen parents act like we were the criminals when their kid gets fired for stealing, despite the fact that we have him on camera stealing and he has a jar full of cash in his room. With parents like that, the kid is likely doomed.

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Damien Taylor
Master Film Handler

Posts: 493
From: Perth, Western Australia
Registered: Apr 2007


 - posted 02-05-2009 10:12 AM      Profile for Damien Taylor   Email Damien Taylor   Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
I don't know how bad things are over there, but I have a second job as a scan-man (check-out chap) at a supermarket and 99% of people are friendly, chatty and polite. It is an small minority that seem to be grumpy bums.

Freeway driving really gives me the s**ts, I wish I had a big sign on the side of my car for the people that fly past saying "Everyone's car can do that, we just choose not to".

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Chris Slycord
Film God

Posts: 2986
From: 청주시, 경북도, South Korea
Registered: Mar 2007


 - posted 02-05-2009 10:34 AM      Profile for Chris Slycord   Email Chris Slycord   Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
quote: Carey Barber
I should also point out that the ABSOLUTE RUDEST people I have encountered in this business have not been young people but seniors. I have seen older people treat kids in a way that was absolutely uncalled for, being surly, mean, and foul-mouthed. This does not make me think that older people are ruder; it makes me think that this PARTICULAR GUY was a mean old prick.
And likely those people can't do anything about it.

For instance, my grandfather always was a nice, caring man but as he got older he got extremely short-tempered especially as he got senile. And now my dad is having the same thing. Decent chance it's genetic. Hopefully I won't get the same thing and will inherit better aging from my mom.

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Bobby Henderson
"Ask me about Trajan."

Posts: 10973
From: Lawton, OK, USA
Registered: Apr 2001


 - posted 02-05-2009 11:31 AM      Profile for Bobby Henderson   Email Bobby Henderson   Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
I disagree with the knee-jerk stereotypical notion that people lumped into one certain group are more rude than others. Asshole-itis does not discriminate.

There is a lot of young people who are rude, inconsiderate jerks. Contrary to popular belief there is also a LOT of young people who do have manners and will keep a door open for someone. I see that all the time here in Lawton, and this isn't a high class town either. Unfortunately, most people only notice the negative things and rarely ever concentrate on the good.

If there is any behavior of the general public I would change if granted the power to do so is our habit of jumping to conclusions and lumping anyone we can into a group.

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Scott D. Neff
Theatre Dork

Posts: 919
From: San Francisco, CA
Registered: Oct 1999


 - posted 02-05-2009 12:04 PM      Profile for Scott D. Neff   Author's Homepage   Email Scott D. Neff   Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
It's those damned hippies... out there protesting and smoking all those drugs.

But seriously, when was the last time you heard of anybody saying "Wow, this generation is so well behaved?"

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Robert E. Allen
Phenomenal Film Handler

Posts: 1078
From: Checotah, Oklahoma
Registered: Jul 2002


 - posted 02-05-2009 01:23 PM      Profile for Robert E. Allen   Email Robert E. Allen   Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
I sometimes wonder if in the U.S. the lack of manners is a regional thing. I have spent most of my life on the West Coast and have come to believe that generally good manners is a scarce commodity out here. I have had the privilege of spending several years in Minnesota and Iowa and found people there to be much more courteous than what I've been used to. Have any of you noticed anything like that? BTW I'm a senior (I'll be 77 next April) and while I agree there's some cranky ones from my generation I take great pleasure in being a courteous gentleman. Maybe it's because I enjoy the positive responses it elicits from people.

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Tim Reed
Better Projection Pays

Posts: 5246
From: Northampton, PA
Registered: Sep 1999


 - posted 02-05-2009 02:59 PM      Profile for Tim Reed   Author's Homepage     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
Robert, you speak the truth. People are different regionally.

While you wouldn't know it by the way people drive here, some of the nicest people I know and have met, have been in the New York/New Jersey area. Back when I was driving a truck, I could tell differences in the way people behaved, for example, on the loading docks. In NY/NJ it was always a camaraderie atmosphere (the "tough" exterior only being a facade - I was never dis-respected), yet in regions of the country known on the surface for their "hospitality," I found some genuinely rude and overbearing personalities. In six years, I have never been flipped off driving in New York or New Jersey. I was, however, given the bird every time I was in North Carolina. Boston ranked second in that department (sorry, Scott). [Frown]

Does this mean everyone in these areas is like this, and there are no exceptions?

Sure it does. [Razz] [Big Grin]

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Mark Gulbrandsen
Resident Trollmaster

Posts: 16657
From: Music City
Registered: Jun 99


 - posted 02-05-2009 06:47 PM      Profile for Mark Gulbrandsen   Email Mark Gulbrandsen   Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
quote: Tim Reed
I was, however, given the bird every time I was in North Carolina. Boston ranked second in that department
Tim, Its gotta be the haircut!

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John Walsh
Film God

Posts: 2490
From: Connecticut, USA, Earth, Milky Way
Registered: Oct 1999


 - posted 02-06-2009 07:11 AM      Profile for John Walsh   Email John Walsh   Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
I sort of find the same thing as Tim describes; people in NYC will, say, let you in traffic much sooner than other areas, but don't waste their time; *delaying* is what pisses them off.

I can't say much about old farts in cars who won't pass, but here in the NY area (where generaly the highways are three lanes wide) trucks are not allowed in the far left lane. That means the center lane is their only passing lane- you are blocking them if you don't move over. I don't think most car drivers are aware of this.

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Damien Taylor
Master Film Handler

Posts: 493
From: Perth, Western Australia
Registered: Apr 2007


 - posted 02-06-2009 07:17 AM      Profile for Damien Taylor   Email Damien Taylor   Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
Just to add to what Tim has said, I used to be a storeman at my supermarket and honestly, the truckies, albeit a bit rough around the edges were some of the nicest most genuine people I have ever met.

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Jack Ondracek
Film God

Posts: 2348
From: Port Orchard, WA, USA
Registered: Oct 2002


 - posted 02-06-2009 08:45 AM      Profile for Jack Ondracek   Author's Homepage   Email Jack Ondracek   Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
quote: Tim Reed
Robert, you speak the truth. People are different regionally.
Ahhhh... I don't know...

In my experience, most young people are pretty decent... until they get around a group of their peers. Then, it's all bets off... and THAT'S no different than when I was their age. Many of them tend to express their individuality in a way we might consider 'different' and/or inappropriate, and they have some tools to use that we didn't (cell phones, computers, ipods, 60,000 watt stereos). Otherwise, we're just getting a healthy dose of what we gave our folks, as far as I can see.

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