Film-Tech Forum ARCHIVE: HUMOR: How to get thrown out of a movie house fast!

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Posted by Stephen Winner (Member # 8) on 11-28-1999, 10:02 PM:

These are taken from an E-mail from my cousin in Roanoke VA:

When watching the film, yell out any abnormality you see really loud, like Scratches! Changeover! Platter marks!, etc

Run towards the theater quickly carrying an old 8mm projector, and a handful of old home movies, pushing past everyone in line. Tell the ticket usher that you need to get to the booth fast, it's an emergency. (did this myself with 16mm reels, but was no fun, cuz the usher knew I was the projectionist...but the people in line didn't!)

If you get in the theater, which is likely because some ushers wouldn't know the difference!, carry the projector into a theater, and throw a picture up on the corner of the screen. Works best at drive-in's (watch One Crazy Summer)

Some theaters (Regal's) have free re-fills on popcorn. Collect a bunch of discarded popcorn containers from the floor of the theater, and about every 5 minutes or so, take one up to get it filled with popcorn.

Carry a db meter (from radio shack) into the theater. Watch the db meter when loud explosions and noises occurr, and start saying Oh NO! Oh NO! when the meter jumps.

You all know how to use a laser pointer!

Some smaller suburban theaters, the projector's beam is within reach of the audience, stand up, and make shadow figures in the picture.

If you think of any more, post a follow-up hehehehe!

Steven

Posted by Gordon McLeod (Member # 33) on 11-29-1999, 12:04 PM:

At Ontario place cinesphere the window that runs the width of the booth is just above head hight of the back row and one day someone emptied a can of shaving cream onto the area the Imax shoots through
Not a fun thing to get off

Posted by Jesse Skeen (Member # 586) on 09-14-2000, 05:11 PM:

I've been waiting for someone to climb up and cover the window the slide projector shoots out of so they won't have to look at the slides

Posted by Dave Bird (Member # 490) on 09-14-2000, 07:24 PM:

There's a drive-in I know that actually burns the bulb without film through intermission so kids can do hand-puppets. This I can only imagine, damages lenses (especially the ones in kids eyes). Hey look mom, Xenon!

Posted by Zach McQuaid (Member # 613) on 09-15-2000, 01:06 AM:

Before you go to the movies, turn on your porchlights and capture a dozen moths in a jar. Sneak it into the auditorium with you, then once the flick has started, take off the lid and watch in utter amusement as the moths immediately head for the booth window! (Talk about shadow-puppets!)

Posted by Aaron Sisemore (Member # 145) on 09-15-2000, 02:52 AM:

>>turn on your porchlights and capture a dozen moths in a jar. Sneak it into the auditorium with you, then once the flick has started, take off the lid...<<

I vaguely remember this from a movie I had seen years ago... Pee-Wee? Cheech & Chong? ack.. now i gotta rack my brain all night trying to remember the film...

Aaron

Posted by Mike Spaeth (Member # 524) on 09-15-2000, 03:04 AM:

The movie, my friend, is "Strange Brew"

Posted by John Pytlak (Member # 331) on 09-15-2000, 06:37 AM:

Please remember that Film-Tech is seen by thousands of "eyeballs" each day, many of whom do NOT work in theatres. Although I'm sure most of the people here are movie-lovers, and want the best in presentation, please be careful about giving pranksters ideas.

------------------
John P. Pytlak, Senior Technical Specialist
Worldwide Technical Services, Entertainment Imaging
Eastman Kodak Company
Research Labs, Building 69, Room 7419
Rochester, New York, 14650-1922 USA
Tel: 716-477-5325 Fax: 716-722-7243
E-Mail: john.pytlak@kodak.com

Posted by Aaron Sisemore (Member # 145) on 09-15-2000, 03:49 PM:

Ahhh yes, Strange Brew... Bob and Doug McKenzie... Beauty, eh?

Twenty-Four Elsinore please...

Aaron

Posted by Rachel Kovacs (Member # 602) on 09-15-2000, 05:53 PM:

Hey, Zach--If we get any moths in the booth at any point, you're gonna get a really nasty Post-It in the log book

Posted by Gracia L. Babbidge (Member # 582) on 09-18-2000, 06:04 AM:

Another way to get booted out of a movie:

Take two friends with you, buy tickets for a PG-13 rated matinee show, then non-chalantly walk into that auditorium's 7:35 showing of an R rated movie, when that 7:35 showing only has 4 tickets sold...

hehehe. This happened yesterday. I had been checking on which shows had tickets sold to them, as the powers that be would prefer that we didn't run the machines with no customers in the auditoriums, and was well aware that only four tickets had been punched up for Scary Movie when I scooted upstairs to start the show. Looking down into the auditorium, I could see four people, and when threading had seen the first two entering the auditorium, headed for the back row, which is not visible from the booth. After starting the show, I checked the computer at the box office, yup, still just four sold...
Time for me to investigate the auditorium.
With flashlight in hand, I walked in, quietly assessing the situation. Two people in the back row, two people seated towards the front, and three people sitting a few rows ahead of the back row.
This one was a no-brainer. I approached the three, and informed them that I would have to check their tickets. I was shown a ticket for a 5:20 show of a different film, but for that auditorium. Then, in a most pleasant and friendly tone, I informed the group of three that sneaking in to watch a movie that they did not buy a ticket for is a theft of services, something for which they can be arrested and prosecuted.
They left quietly, and were non-aggressive about it.

Extracting people that sneak in has to be one of my favorite things!

~Gracia *The projectionist with the purple hair* Babbidge

------------------
In some cultures, what I do is considered normal.

Posted by John Pytlak (Member # 331) on 09-18-2000, 06:58 AM:

When I worked at a drive-in, patrolling the lot to catch "sneakers" was part of the job duties. Always easy to catch the ones in cars with the back ends that hung low due to the extra weight in the trunk (or "boot"). Likewise, the "stupid crooks" who tried to sneak in by backing in through the exit, pretending they were supposedly leaving. Biggest problem on late night patrols was the RATS attracted by the leftover food tossed from cars.

Posted by Carl King (Member # 398) on 09-18-2000, 01:03 PM:

Funny stuff, Stehen, as long as your not the theater that has to deal with it.

IT was not a prank but someone left a auditorium exit door open not long ago and we ended up with a raven flying around in cinema 5. It left on its own after a few minutes right back out throught the open door.

Posted by Bruce McGee (Member # 131) on 09-18-2000, 01:04 PM:

I think that Flip Wilson said it best:

"I worked at a drive-in theatre. I used to go around and shine the light in the car and tell people when the picture was over. I got $25 a week and all I could see..."

When I worked at the drive-in in 1977 or so, I was all finished with everything and had cleaned up the booth floor, and had everything ready for the next show. I was getting ready to turn off the field sound when I noticed a lone car parked in a space with the windows thoroughly fogged. I picked up my PA mike and said "OK folks! Lets take it to a motel. Goodnight." Since the same sound was played in the consessions area, one of the clean up crew came in to see what was up. The car continued to sit there. I had a record of Lawrence Welk polka music near the turntable, (yes, we had one,) and I let it play for a few. The car started up and left before the first tune was finished.

I like Polkas and other demented things. And, I dont know why things like this stick in this labyrinth that I call a brain. Some people call it a void.

The manager told me to take the Welk album home. I left it there to play when he was gone, and never did it play when customers were there again.

Any other time that people were hangin' around after the picture, just a few words over the PA was enough to get them moving.

I'm amazed that we did not have rats. The birds were always there the next day having a field-day.

I saw some snakes under the screen tower once. There was a creek back there. Could explain the lack of rats.

Posted by John Pytlak (Member # 331) on 09-18-2000, 01:29 PM:

Never thought of it, but drive-ins could be featured in the next Indiana Jones picture: "I HATE snakes!" and the catacomb rats scene in "Last Crusade".

Posted by John Wilson (Member # 269) on 09-19-2000, 01:40 AM:

Remember the Cheech and Chong sketch about the 'dude' who was sneaked into the D.I. in the boot? Pretty funny...

Whatever happened to those guys?

Posted by Aaron Sisemore (Member # 145) on 09-19-2000, 02:37 AM:

>>Likewise, the "stupid crooks" who tried to sneak in by backing in through the exit, pretending they were supposedly leaving.<<

Back when I worked at the Sonomarin D/I we had those 'SEVERE TIRE DAMAGE' spikes in the exit lane... Some people did manage to defeat the spikes with some well-placed 2x4's but there were always a couple nights I would see a car parked by the fenceline or near the exit lane and the guy who was driving it over at the pay phone to get a tow because his car had 4 flats!!

Aaron

Posted by Dave Bird (Member # 490) on 09-19-2000, 06:45 AM:

Aaron, a true Canuck would phrase it: "TWO-FOUR of Elsinore (eh?)".

There was to be a sequel last year or the year before. Apparently Thomas and Moranis got severly "hosed" when the movie company backed out. They had invested a lot of personal money.

Some guy from Rutgers reviewed this movie on the IMDB and claims it was based on Shakespeare's "Hamlet". ????