Back to the shafts thingy...
If you use Kelmar reel arms, it is possible to get the combo shafts. That is, get the 70mm shaft system but omit the 70mm shafts, get the 35mm 5/16 and 1/2 inch shafts and switch accordingly. They are held on by 4 screws. The clutch thing isn't such a big deal either. Take a measuring stick (or an old core) and mark on it where the tension nut is referenced to the clutch plate for each tension setting. You will be able to switch over in no time.
Steve
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"Old projectionists never die, they just changeover!"
Before doing this, however, the original dogs on the Kelmar reel arms had to be replaced with longer roll pins, in order to properly engage the hole in the small reels.
If you have 1/2" reels but only 5/16" mandrels, you COULD buy adaptor cores that'll make them fit but who wants to pay MONEY?
Take those cardboard cores from the Kelmar media rolls and cut them in half (longitudinally) and roll them up and use them as adaptors. You've probably got about 100 of them lying about and you don't want to throw them away 'cuz you might NEED them. Well, now you have a 'need'!
Of course this is only a "temporary" solution to get you through a pinch. You really ought to buy those adaptors! (Yeah! Right!)
Personally, I've known people who drill out the cores like Tim Reed mentioned above...and it works great!
I personally prefer 5/16" shafts because I don't like dealing with 2 different sizes and I will not be running 70mm reel to reel anyway. If anyone has a bunch of 5/16" Goldberg 24" reels they want to trade for an equal amount of 1/2" Goldberg 24" reels, let me know. 
As for the AAAAAH!.... I e-mailed that to you and you laughed at it. (It IS funny!)
In an art house, where the feature changed often, I'm sure they'd want the smaller spindle. The feature could be from one shipping reel to another, then shipped out. I know that's a no-no, but art houses aways have money problems, and I guess I'd rather have an art house cut a few corners and stay in business than go under. Hopefully, such an art house would have a guy that would notice a really bad shipping reel (that might damage the film if used as a regular reel) and not use it.
For a regular first run house, I'd want large spindles. The smaller ones are, well, too small. Even a well run booth get idiots once in a while, and some dope tries to close the magazine door with the (5/16) spindle not locked- and bends the lock or the spindle. Or the spring that holds the reel lock flipper in position breaks. Or the key on the spindle shaft comes loose, breaks, etc.
Of course, it all platters now, so it doesn't matter. I was slightly shocked when our theater chain decided not to even put reel arms on the projectors anymore.
About two years after I started projecting, I read about emulsion-out (E.O.) winding. I wanted to try it, and changed the two projectors I was using at the time to E.O. I thought I was on the "bleeding edge" of projection-olgy (even though E.O. winding was already 15 years old by then.) Anyway, I start the projector, and I had forgotten that the feed spindle was now rotating in the opposite direction. The "Reel-A-Alarms" were turning backwards, going, "DING", "DING", "DING", "DING" the whole show. I knew I didn't want to be without the alarms, so I changed everything back, and that was the end of my experince with emulsion-out winding.
I tried using that in my booth, too. Except when the reels turned "backward" (i.e.: clockwise), the alarms went "GNID! GNID! GNID!" 
Yes, you're right, I meant "out." I confused it with the emlusion on platters.
Please don't blame me, They dropped me when I was little....

Hey, kids bounce good!
One time, I'd had too much fun the night before, and was a little blurry eyed the next day. I'm trying to 'pilot' an hour reel onto a spindle, and keep missing. A friend with me there says, "Just think of your secretary.." (a line from Blazing Saddles.) I'm laughing, and push the spindle lock closed with the side of the reel. I try to hook the lock with one of the large holes in the reel to flip it back. Now, I'm laughing, making weird looking gestures this reel when the manager walks in. He says, "Excuse ME!" and walks out.
Not a real funny story, but it was at the time...
I've used that same line myself (just yesterday, as a matter of fact). It's a good one.