This is topic That's it...you're outta here! in forum Film Handlers' Forum at Film-Tech Forum ARCHIVE.
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Posted by John Wilson (Member # 269) on 05-21-2000, 04:26 AM:
I walked past our main screen last night and checked focus on 'Gladiator'. While I did this, a hand popped up into the beam and waved around a bit. Now, I hate this enough even if it's in the credits only, but this was about one third of the way through 'Gladiator'. I walked out into the auditorium and sure enough, there was a row of about seven kids sitting in the back row under the port.
So I called down to the manager and informed him of what was going on. He wasn't too impressed as it was almost a full house.
Anyway, I kept looking out the port to see if anything happened. In every other theater I've worked at before and told them there was trouble of some sort, MAYBE you would get an usher to come in and have a look and if they weren't playing up at that point, the usher would just shrug, turn around and walk out again.
So I kept looking to see what would happen...nothing...nothing...Oh well, it's no different here either. I was thinking that thought when about _5_ ushers came in in a line...shone their torches in their faces and marched them right out of there. Real S.W.A.T. team stuff! It was all over in about 30 seconds!
Très impressed, I can tell you!
It makes such a nice change to be working in a theater where all the staff are friends and there is no apathy. (There's no time for it 'cos it's so darn busy!)
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"It's not the years honey, it's the mileage".
Indiana Jones.
Posted by Joseph Pandolfi (Member # 223) on 05-21-2000, 09:46 AM:
Here's a good one: Last week I visted the booth at the drive-in on Cape Cod (See my post next week) Just into the first few minutes of the cartoon the picture was not on the screen, but on the side of motor home that decided to park right in front of the booth. 
Fortunately we radioed lot security and got the motor home out of the way. 
Posted by John Wilson (Member # 269) on 05-21-2000, 10:41 PM:
Our ushers would have just lifted it out of the way.
Posted by Ethan Harper (Member # 472) on 05-21-2000, 10:53 PM:
sometimes i cant stand the people that think everything is our fault like one time ther was a brain wrap and some old guy was standing up and staring me with a cold death stare through the porthole.or peopl have a tendency to throw drinks at the porthole.
one kid actually thought it would be funny to slap the porthole.
one time someone slapped the porthole so when the movie was restarted, ther was a nice hand imprint on the glass.
frustrating 
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--"That's my story and i'm sticking to it!"--
Posted by Chris Erwin (Member # 176) on 05-21-2000, 11:31 PM:
Here's a story I love to tell....I was watching a film where I used to work(off-duty,but close to the start of my shift) and these girls (4th or 5th graders) would yell and talk loudly during parts. After the first time I shooshed them from my seat, they came past my seat and said some pretty rough things. I waltzed out,put on my uniform,and told them to shoosh again or out they go. No more problems, and they left early. Never did see em' again.
--Chris
Posted by Jason R. Weinsteiger (Member # 456) on 05-21-2000, 11:35 PM:
grr..yeah! and i hate it when the film breaks and you're trying to fix it, and after about a minute, some jerk decides that he should come in the booth and check on you! STAY OUTTA MY BOOTH!jasoN
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"That's what life is - a series of down endings. All Jedi had was a bunch of muppets." -Dante Hicks
Posted by Jim Ziegler (Member # 86) on 05-22-2000, 03:11 AM:
I was watching Bone Collector one day while off duty and the guy behind me would not shut up... After I asked him a few times, then demanded, that he be quiet, he diecided he would threaten me...He was quite surprised when I left, returned with our security officers, and had him thrown out..
At my last theatre I had this kid that would not quit waving his hand in front of the port... I walked down there and commended him on his bravery... After he gave me a confused look, I told him that the light was pure UV radiation and that he would probably have cancer in 6 months... This kid about wet his pants... People will believe anything you say if you say it with a straight face...
Posted by John Wilson (Member # 269) on 05-22-2000, 03:18 AM:
Years ago, we used to tell the kids that had put their hand in the beam they would have Xenon poisoning unless they rushed to the bathroom immediately and scrubbed their hands and arms with soap and warm water.Ahhh... the sweet revenge of watching them scream out of the cinema to the bathroom to scrub themselves silly. And the sweetest part of the gag...?
...we were running on carbon arcs! Ha Ha Ha!
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"It's not the years honey, it's playing gags on little assholes who put their hand in the beam".
Diana Jones. (his sister, who once ran a small, single screen theater in downtown San Francisco before her brother got really rich from selling off religious artifacts and supported her enough so that she could quit her cinema and be rid of those little shits once and for all)
Posted by Scott Norwood (Member # 30) on 05-22-2000, 07:29 AM:
John - next time, just show the little twerp the box that the carbons come in and point out the warning about "carbon arcs must be well ventilated; fumes can cause cancer" (at least that's what National carbons say...not sure about other brands) and mention that the ventilation system is broken that day...
Posted by Randy Loy (Member # 112) on 05-23-2000, 03:05 PM:
It's great to see theatre management take a stand and toss trouble makers out. There's nothing I hate more than for some idiot to put their hands in front of the beam or to talk during the film. Their selfish "I don't care about anybody else attitude" can really ruin the magic of the movies for everybody else. Toss 'em out!One probem we've seen in the drive-in business in recent years is laser pointers. This seems to have lessened a little bit, I think because kids have found other things to play with, but they still pop up occasionally. Is this also a problem for those of you that work in in-door theatres? Have any of you figured out how to find them?
Posted by Jason Burroughs (Member # 68) on 05-23-2000, 04:42 PM:
When I was working at the Loews Keystone, people would take it upon themselves to bang on the windows if anything at all (and sometimes for no reason at all) happened to the movie, and because of the poor quality of port windows many a pane of glass were knocked out by customers. talk about a pain in the kiester. At one point we did not have a replacement port for the projector but had a spare glass for a slide projector port however since the slide projector port was not quite the same size, some creative engineering using masking tape and cardboard had to be employeed. After returing to the theatre 2 1/2 years later, guess what I found. They "temporary fix" that I had done was still there!! They never replaced it with the proper glass!! Talk about cheap oh well... not my concern anymore 
Posted by Bruce McGee (Member # 131) on 05-23-2000, 05:03 PM:
I was seeing Clash of the Titans at the AMC Omni in Atlanta in 1982. There was a large crowd there that night. There was a group of 20-somethings that were talking, throwing stuff, etc. Nobody around them would say anything or go and tell management. I decided to go and do it. I was followed back into the theater by an usher, who saw what was going on. He went to the group and I heard him say that "someone had complained about the noise." One of the rowdies stood up, and loudly said: "WHO COMPLAINED?" And the usher pointed directly at ME with his flashlight beam and said: "HE did!"
I was mortified! After the film was over, and we let the theater, we were followed for 2 blocks by the group. I guess they were trying to intimidate us. I was glad when we got to the car and left the area.
By the way, they never did shut up. I had to go see the film again elsewhere to understand it.
Posted by Brad Miller (Member # 2) on 05-23-2000, 05:27 PM:
How pathetic of an usher staff is that??? When I as a theater manager, I always told customers I would wait 5 minutes and THEN enter the auditorium, wait in the back for a minute to catch them in the act and then get them. That way the disruptees never knew who complained and the only beef they would have was with me.You should've complained nice and loudly to the AMC district office over that one.
Posted by Ari Nordström (Member # 288) on 05-24-2000, 08:07 AM:
I had a real legend of a projectionist visiting me in the booth a few years ago. He brought his kids with him up, as they had watched the previous show ("The Lion King", not that it matters now). Maybe he shouldn't have, but he just had to see the booth again since he had worked at the theatre as the head projectionist for many years. I couldn't very well blame him.After a minute or two, our local tech also showed up, and was happy to see a few familiar faces.
So anyway, we stood there talking for a while, discussing old times, projection, and the theatre in particular, and had a generally good time. None of us gave a single thought to the kids.
Until...
...an usher came running up the stairs, asking what the hell we were doing. It turned out that the kids had stood in front of the porthole for several minutes, creating all kinds of shadow animals and figures. The audience, about 500 people all in all, was NOT amused.
Oops.
Posted by Ari Nordström (Member # 288) on 05-24-2000, 08:25 AM:
Another kids-in-the-booth story:One night, me and my spouse couldn't solve the babysitting problem, so my kids, then two and four years of age, had to join me to the booth until their mother could pick them up. I had one single feature to screen, and thought that I could handle it.
Sure. When it was time for the change-over, I sat down by the projector to wait for the cue. Of course, I told the kids to sit tight, wait, and NOT TOUCH ANYTHING. The cue came about two seconds before the four year-old found out how to turn off the Xenon bulb of the machine that was running. OK, I thought. Five seconds of darkness... maybe the audience will live. Maybe. I'll just make sure not to show myself until it's all over.
I completed the change-over and checked for image sharpness and framing. Suddenly, the image disappeared, replaced with the remaining few feet of the just-finished reel.
My two year-old had learned how to do a change-over.
Posted by Mark Huff (Member # 480) on 05-24-2000, 08:54 AM:
Hi I am new to Film-Tech.I agree anyone who waves hands or objects infront of the porthole should be shot. I actually had two projectionists doing that while a movie was going on. Needles to say they are no longer employed.
Posted by Tim Reed (Member # 137) on 05-24-2000, 11:05 AM:
Hi, Mark! I used to work in Louisville at the South Park drive-in (it was my moonlighting, 'hobby' job). By the time late summer came, I would start to get short-tempered, because of the cumulative sleep-loss working two jobs created.
One night, two party animals standing piggy-backed (it was a high booth), decided to play shadow puppets with my projection beam. This incensed me anyway, but since it was late in the season, it especially pushed my buttons. I hollered a warning through the port, but they gave me a belligerent 'up yours' look, and continued interfering. That did it, a switch was flipped! I dropped whatever I was doing and RAN for the door. The two had gotten down and started walking off, trying to blend-in with the intermission crowd. I CHASED them down, grabbed the first one I got to, swung him around, wrapped my fist around his collar, pulled him to my nose and screamed, "HEY! People didn't come here to see you farting around (only I didn't say 'fart'); they came here to see MY SHOW! I work hard to give them a perfect show and you just ruined it!" I could hear my voice bouncing off the screen tower. "And it PISSES ME OFF when somebody interferes with my job! DON'T DO IT AGAIN!!!" I was fit to be tied. The two punks couldn't believe what was happening, and only looked at me, either in astonishment or fear. "Well... okay? OKAY??!!", I bellowed. I got a shaky nod of the head and a pip-squeak "Okay!" from the hoodlum. His buddy said nothing.
Oooh! It burns me up just thinking about it!
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Better Projection Pays!
Posted by Russ Kress (Member # 461) on 05-24-2000, 06:17 PM:
I got the animal shadows beat cold.CELL PHONES!!! I swear, I wish some one sold a jammer that would render them useless inside an auditorium.
Maybe you guys could help me with a training program for ushers handling this problem.
Heres my idea...
During an auditorium patrol, an usher not only hears a phone ring, but he hears it answered as the customer starts a conversation about the film she is watching.
I think he should say, "Excuse me, MORON!!! Hows about finishing this conversation from the parking lot!?"
I actually had a guy tell me it was "okay" once because he was a doctor and his patient was more important than a movie. I agreed with him and suggested that he immediately leave the movie and go see his patient.
I hate to throw people out but some people really need it!
Russ
Posted by Randy Stankey (Member # 64) on 05-24-2000, 09:22 PM:
Russ Kress says:"CELL PHONES!!! I swear, I wish some one sold a jammer that would render them useless inside an auditorium."
There IS a jammer for cell phones! It's called a volume control knob! 
The other night, during a show of "U-571", I saw a guy picking up his phone just as I started the proj. He put his finger in his other ear and started talking louder. Since ther were only a few people in the auditorium, I turned the volume up a notch! He finally left the auditorium and finihed the call outside.
It's the little things that make life worth living!
Posted by Tim Reed (Member # 137) on 05-24-2000, 09:27 PM:
Bravo, Randy!------------------
Better Projection Pays!
Posted by Scott Norwood (Member # 30) on 05-25-2000, 07:30 AM:
I have long been a proponent of ejection seats in movie theatres and other public venues. There could be a little control panel in the back of the auditorium which could be operated by the usher. As soon as someone annoys another customer, the usher can activate his ejection seat and thus remove him from the theatre. These could even be voice- or phone- activiated, to automatically eject customers who talk during the movie or leave their phones or beepers turned on.
Oh, well...it's a pleasant thought, anyway.
Posted by Gordon McLeod (Member # 33) on 05-25-2000, 08:17 AM:
I once sujested on the 1570 site regarding laser pointer a solution that would also work here
Conect a Imax gnitor to every seat that is triggered by the hand passing througn the light beam
I giant PTR roller will sweep down from the ceiling and cleanup the remains
Posted by Bruce McGee (Member # 131) on 05-25-2000, 12:10 PM:
As for the AMC Omni experience, I did call their Atlanta people. They offered passes, and I declined. I simply never went back to the theater again. I have always thought that the usher and the rowdies were probably friends.I think that the theater (and the Omni complex) are long gone now. Might be a good thing. I thought the theaters looked like cardboard boxes inside.
Posted by Tim Reed (Member # 137) on 05-25-2000, 12:56 PM:
Gordon and Scott: That's pretty funny!
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Better Projection Pays!
Posted by Scott Magie (Member # 368) on 05-25-2000, 01:23 PM:
Agreed, agreed... yet you've got to admit that when previewing a sucky movie by yourself late at night, a few minutes of shadow-puppets can be just what the doctor ordered! A friend and I were previewing "The Perfect Husband" awhile back. It was somewhere around 2:30 a.m. and we were no longer enjoying the movie, so I, being restless, decided to reach up and "pick" Rupert Everett's nose. Just then, the shot changed and I was instead tickling Minnie's boob. OOPS!
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Scott A. Magie
scoooot@hotmail.com
"Anybody wanna peanut?"
Posted by Kyle Smith (Member # 177) on 05-25-2000, 02:01 PM:
First of all, hi Joe Pandolfi! I see the system's being ripped apart with all that wood in the dumpsters. You didn't tell me you were going to Cape Cod. And boy is that funny! I guess those folks in the mobile home wanted to have a night of home theater . Back in 1990, a guy in town wanted to see the projection booth. I said, "sure". It didn't take me long to figure out he was drunk. He kinda' gave it away when he stuck his hand in front of the lens (while slurring) and blocked the light to the screen in the middle of a show. Also, who engineered auditoriums where the beam is low enough that these aliens can stick their hands in the beam?
Posted by Ari Nordström (Member # 288) on 05-25-2000, 03:47 PM:
Not too long ago, I sat in an auditorium watching a Kevin Kline flick when a cell phone rang in the row in front of me. Now, I thought the guy with the phone would shut it off and shrink in his seat a bit, but oh no. He picked up the phone and told the caller that he was in a theatre but it was OK because the film really wasn't that good anyway, and he didn't mind.My friends stopped me from killing him after the show, unfortunately.
Posted by Randy Loy (Member # 112) on 05-27-2000, 07:57 AM:
I like Scott's idea of the ejection seats. I also kind of like the concept used in one of the old Warner Brothers cartoons that shows the house being instantly cleared at a "modern" theatre by the floor turning over and all the patrons sliding out a shute into the street.
If modern theatres could be built with individual shutes under each seat, activated by sensors that detect the ringing of cell phones, pagers, the spoken word above a designated decible level or laser pointers, the problem would be solved.
Posted by Tim Reed (Member # 137) on 05-27-2000, 08:58 AM:
Randy: I know that cartoon, it's great! (BTW, welcome to the forum!)------------------
Better Projection Pays!
Posted by Randy Loy (Member # 112) on 05-27-2000, 04:46 PM:
Tim, thanks for the welcome! Debrean and I are looking forward to meeting you in Florida next year!
Posted by Tim Reed (Member # 137) on 05-27-2000, 07:44 PM:
Likewise!------------------
Better Projection Pays!
Posted by Ethan Harper (Member # 472) on 05-27-2000, 07:59 PM:
i agree i would love to get my hands on those ejection seats. over here we have microphones to do a pre-show announcement. Maybe i should take advantage of that. ------------------
--"That's my story and i'm sticking to it!"--
Posted by Leo Enticknap (Member # 534) on 08-27-2000, 07:11 PM:
We've found an unlikely solution to the mobile 'phone problem. A British cinema supply company, Jack Roe (www.jack-roe.demon.co.uk) imports trailers from Filmack saying 'please turn your mobiles off'. They have a seriously nasty 1970s psychadelic-style graphic which forces everyone to look at the screen and think 'you cannot possibly be showing this'. Looking down from the box, you suddenly see vast numbers of green luminous blobs when people reach for their mobiles in a cold-sweat panic and turn them off...BTW, I didn't know they had mobile 'phones in the 1970s...
Posted by Paul Mayer (Member # 355) on 08-27-2000, 08:16 PM:
Regarding pagers or cell phones, I always thought it would be great to install copper mesh during construction, encasing an entire auditorium in a Faraday shield. RF wise, nothing comes in, nothing gets out assuming the shield is built well. Engineering the theater doors might be a bit tricky though, especially for the 0.9-1.2GHz stuff. And probably too expensive in this age of management by bean-counter.But if I ever get to renovate and run a place of my own...
Paul Mayer, OOF SMPTE
AX2001 Film Department
Posted by Bob Minge (Member # 574) on 08-27-2000, 09:27 PM:
If I get a kids/teen film in, I go into the theater after the screen ads and before I start the movie and tell the kids "This is the first last and only warning. I do not kick out people, I kick out rows...so any complaints and out the row goes" My record is 3 rows at once...did it twice. Both times to applause from the rest of the viewers. After that, when I gave the warning and checked the theater later, the rows that I would make sure to look at, the kids had scattered throughout the theater so they were not in the same row together. Not a peep out of them the rest of the movie. By the way, I work for a small independent. The owner treats us right, so we try to keep the customers happy to keep them coming back.------------------
Bob Minge
Manager/Projectionist
Westridge Cinema 5
Fergus Falls, MN