SPOILERS AHEAD

Tim Burton tends to either hit or miss with his films, and boy was this film a miss! And I mean that in a really, really big way. First of all, when the monkey (True, it’s an ape but it’s more fun to call them monkeys for some strange reason) is sent in to investigate the storm, they never mention anything about an automatic pilot (hell even a remote control) that homes in and stirs the pod back to base. I figure they launch the monkey to see what biological effects the storm has. Otherwise they’d just use a probe. And unless I missed something in the dialogue, they couldn’t get the monkey to turn back and that’s that. The Station Commander doesn’t want to waste another pod and no one thought to put some kind of protocol in the system that would enable the pod to return in the event the operator passes out or dies. Okay. So that’s probably a little too picky. So let’s go to the next flaw.

Marky goes after his monkey. I’m going to give him the benefit of the doubt and chalk up his impulsiveness to a cocky hotshot pilot mentality and the fact he really cares for the monkey. I’m also going to forget about the weird reverse time dilation effect due solely to the fact the writers didn’t trap themselves by classifying the anomaly. He heads into the storm. Then the time meter climb forward into the future (also disregarding what the measuring device keys on), Marky crashes. Now he’s in a desolate future, brings the monkeys and man together, goes back in time, and for some reason DC is overrun by talking monkeys in his own time. In the PAST! A gross violation of causality to say the least. Unless he actually DID travel back in time and the time meter was climbing up because it was measuring in B.C. time. And even then, that’s stupid, because where are the humans in DC!? I didn’t see a monkey cop with a human partner get out or human bystanders of any kind for that matter. Not one damn human. And I doubt the monkeys would follow our history so close as to mimic an Abe (or would that be Ape!? ) Lincoln! There was something Evil Dead about that ending, and I don’t mind endings like that one bit, but it needs to be somewhat believable!

Also Marky’s a BAD pilot. He crashes his original pod. His monkey, whom he berates for messing up a reentry simulation in the beginning of the show, lands perfectly in the middle of the monkey/human battle thus fulfilling the prophecy, and then Marky boy gets in the pod and CRASHES THE DAMN THING!

I had a real beef with Tim Roth’s monkey growling all the time as well as Paul Giamatti’s irritating attempts at humor. And some of the shots of the monkeys running on all fours looked cool in some angles and just plain stupid in others. I did like the lines that paid homage to the first film and there were a few little cool ideas like the monkeys being able to write with their feet. But the only true redeeming quality is Danny Elfman’s score. It was pretty cool. The costumes were good as were the set designs. The story (with the exception of the time travel discrepancies) had a good (if somewhat predictable) idea. And that may be why I’m so sore at this remake. It had all the makings of a really good film and Burton had to throw a "monkey"wrench in the works (your groan here ).

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The man with the magic hands.

The costumes were great, as were the set designs. The acting was great too, thinking back I really can't think of one of the actors that stuck out as being "bad". Watching the film, letting myself fall into the movie magic I didn't even think to myself "hey, there's humans underneath the ape costumes".

As mentioned earlier I did get a bit confused by the time travel, he goes in the future -there's apes, he goes back to his time -there's apes? But, its a movie, its not supposed to be real its a movie!
 

1. Straight time line - everything that has happened or will happened is predetermined. Nothing you can do will change a thing. You were born on day X, will die on day Y, and your whole exisitance is unchangeable in any way.

2. Trumpet shaped or expansionist time line - nothing in the past can change, but probability allows for alternate futures based on actions in the present. Going into the past is impossible because you would already have to have been there and there is no way to force yourself into a past that is by definition unchanging. Small actions in the present can have large results in the future. This is the most common belief of the lay public, and the general Newtonian physical laws are based on this idea. Unfortunately, black holes literally punch holes in parts of this concept.

3. Multiverse - a complete field of all possibilities existing simultaniously, with the most similar existing closest together. The present for an individual can loosely be described as the junction of two funnels, one widening into the future, as probability increases options, and the other widening into the past, where various universes intersect as events in them lead to an identical "present."
This is arguably more probable than the trumpet shape for various technical reasons, but it leads to interesting conundrums of its own.

(Could it be that the magenta shift of film has to do with the possibility that there are more magenta pasts than cyan pasts? Did the Persian kings and ancient Egyptians really look the way they were carved and drawn? Did Bill Gates really invent DOS, and did Edison really invent the motion picture? Are all those people in jail really innocent and just stuck in the wrong universe? Do the public disagreements about the past have a factual basis?)

None of these take into acount the probability that there are eleven or so dimensions. The whole subject is mind-boggling enough to make scientists' and philosophers' heads swim.

Anyway, in the third example, someone going into the future would go into one of many futures, and upon attempting to return would return to one of many pasts. Thus, Ape Lincoln.

 

That's just one example I conjured up quickly, so there may be holes in my explanation. There are others, I'm sure, that could be conjectured. The film leaves so much up in the air that entire histories could be written if you wanted to speculate.

As for the movie itself, Tim Burton has done better. There is little characterization in the film, and the plot has enough holes to let an eighteen-wheeler through. The movie worked only because of the action sequences (which, while good, are hardly spectacular). It's decent entertainment, and I'd recommend it, but I'm hardly enthusiastic about the film. And while I haven't seen the original, from what I've read, it's a lot better than this one.

Then there are the technical aspects. I saw it at the first screening today at a Loew's in Mountainside, NJ. Problems: (1) out of focus (2) preceded by five ads and five trailers (3) already scratched in several places (4) already dirty around the reel changes (5) had several lab splices that weren't frameline-registered (6) lots of weave and jump, probably due to improper tension on the gate (7) run in Dolby SR because the theater was only equipped with SDDS. Actually, (7) isn't too bad -- better to run in analog the whole way through and lose the surround separation than to hear SDDS drop in and out.

I've seen very few films in a regular cinema since I began projecting for LSC at MIT; now I'm reminded of the reason. We usually get films six months late, but even then, if we're lucky and get a good print, we're able to put out a better presentation than the one I saw. This is the first matinee of the film on its release date at this Loews. Even allowing for a few runs through a projector for sneak previews and such, this movie deserves to be in better shape. To paraphrase John Pytlak, this is Film Done Wrong. This is why people are willing to accept even an inferior digital standard as a step up.

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Tao Yue
MIT '04: Course VI-2, Electrical Engineering and Computer Science
Projectionist, MIT Lecture Series Committee

I liked the movie even though Marky Mark was a bit wooden in his delivery and character. Over all, a decent popcorn flick for the summer. As far as the ending is concerned, I have read it was 1 of 5 different endings. I guess this is why it felt a bit rushed at the end.

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Chris Duvall
General Manager
Regal Cinemas Colonnade14
Las Vegas, NV
 

Donny wauhlberg was in Ransom that's the only and last thing I know of that he was in.
 

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The man with the magic hands.
 

Generally I liked it.
If I were to name the thing that bugged me the most I'd say that they were so intent upon aping ape behavior that the aping becomes the star of the show. In other words it draws to much attention to itself. I thought the landing of the second pod was quite predictable and was somewhat disappointing. At the same time the appearance of the little monkey would hardly set asides all those years of prejudice held by the dominant apes. I didn't care much for the hero. I would rather have seen an adult in the role. The trip to the past/present was real predictable and reminded me of a Twilight Zone episode where the 707 flies back into the time of dinosuars and can't get home.
Why/how the past/present changed....
The monkey in the second pod (cmos)went into the past first, before going to the future. He found a girl friend and had a hot weekend before he split town and went to the future. It was his descendants that populated the past/present. Boys will be Boys (sort of)

Go see it, it's fun. The theater I went to was packed

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Greg Mueller
Amateur Astronomer, Machinist, Filmnut
http://www.muellersatomics.com/
 

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Greg Mueller
Amateur Astronomer, Machinist, Filmnut
http://www.muellersatomics.com/
 

I've seen that many times in prints. But it seemed to subside a little over the past few years.
 

I will admit to owning a New Kids on the Block Coke trailer...the Rocky Horror crowd loved it.

"Hey, man, is that Marky Mark? Turn it up, man!"
 

"...FEEL IT, FEEL IT, FEEL THE VIBRATION!" -Marky Mark and the Funky Bunch
 

I am a fan of the originals, but I go into EVERY movie with an open mind, and a child like innocence. I love to be entertained. Thats why I got in this business. I love movies.

I HATE BAD MOVIES, but this is not a bad movie. As for the ending, i loved it too, and if you can't figure it out, watch all FIVE original movies and you will get it.

Dave