Film-Tech Forum ARCHIVE: On The Line

This is topic On The Line in forum Film Handlers' Movie Reviews at Film-Tech Forum ARCHIVE.

To visit this topic, use this URL:
https://ft-forum.com/ft/cgi-bin/ubb/ultimatebb.cgi?ubb=get_topic;f=4;t=000207

Posted by Brad Miller (Member # 2) on 10-26-2001, 02:04 AM:

What can I say? This is a MUST SEE! I want everyone to go out right now to the closest theater and watch this film! Never in the history of film has there been such an incredible compilation of every...literally every movie cliche all cram packed into one horrendously bad piece of shit. Yes, this movie must actually be seen to be believed, for nothing I can write here could possibly convey just how pathetic this lame excuse of a movie really is.

Never has there been an actor in a lead role who has exactly one expression. That's right, this N'Sync guy has ONE EXPRESSION! He's got those eyebrows lifted and that smirk of a smile trying to be all cute through this entire prison sentence, er I mean movie. It's as if he is wearing a face mask through the entire film his acting is so bad. (He also executive produced the film.) The other N'Sync'er in the film did a somewhat reasonable job playing a flatulating idiot, because as we all know there is nothing more funny in movies than a guy farting. haha I'm still laughing now it is so insanely funny. If I only had a recording of farts, I would add it to this review so that you could be listening to them while you were reading this right now and be able to appreciate the magnificent humor that it is.

When I said that this movie features every cliche ever used in a Hollywood motion picture, I honestly do not believe I am exaggerating. Cliches that I didn't even think could've possibly been integrated into this movie...were there! They must've re-wrote this thing 800,000 times to get the "formula" just perfect! Never did one single thing happen that I did not predict well before the scene hit the screen. If I was to actually try and list all of the cliches, I would have to screen the film again and have a stenographer beside to take notes fast enough...and that's NOT going to happen. Once was more than enough torture for this N'Stinkin' waste of film.

Oh did I mention that our hero find the girl of his dreams in the end? Oops! Darn it, I just ruined that movie for everyone. Never would've guessed that. Doh!

This is the new "worst movie of 2001".

RATING: 2 (out of 1000) The high rating came from the "making of" bit during the end credits of which the other N'Sync'ers play lisping hair and makeup artists. (Oh come on, you just KNEW that the other band members would HAVE to make a cameo somewhere in the film!) It was the only thing that warranted a smirk out of the entire torture session, and even that was only barely humorous. Thank God I was paid to check the print condition.

Posted by Joe Redifer (Member # 3) on 10-26-2001, 04:36 AM:

Have I lost touch with reality? I've never even heard of this movie before! It sounds fantastic!

BOY BANDZ RULE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Posted by Will Morrow (Member # 792) on 10-26-2001, 09:48 PM:

I am with Joe on this one. Joey Fatone was absolutly riveting as the farting, musician, roomate. While Lance did have some definciencies as an actor, we should cut him some slack. This is his first movie. Keep in mind, Keanu Reeves took quite a few movies to become the legendary Thespian he is today. (Hard Ball was GRIPPING!) What I can't wait for is the comedy/action staring Chris and Justin as the gay/stylist-crimefighters. (Think two Corky Romanos with a little more flamboyancy!) OOOOOH I just can't wait. Let's just hope Lance his his hand in that production too! I give this movie an 11/10. Because I just think the number 11 is soooo cute! I must go now, and get my toungue removed from my cheek!

Posted by Kristin Wahlund (Member # 922) on 10-27-2001, 12:04 AM:

Awww... but they were so cute... It was TOO cute. kinda sick.

Posted by Daniel Boisson (Member # 1027) on 10-28-2001, 12:03 AM:

i'm glad my theatre didn't get it. As a public service, i would have shut off the platter and walked away mid-way through the movie.

Posted by Brad Miller (Member # 2) on 04-23-2003, 08:43 PM:

*bump*

Posted by Scott Norwood (Member # 30) on 04-23-2003, 11:26 PM:

Dare I ask why Brad felt the need to bump this to the top? [Confused]