Film-Tech Forum ARCHIVE: The Longest Yard (2005)

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Posted by Brad Miller (Member # 2) on 05-27-2005, 03:51 PM:

ALERT! ALERT! ALERT! Paramount made a good movie!

Yes it's true. I know it's hard to believe, but Paramount after a 5 year stretch of shitty movies has redeemed themselves with this one. (The last good movie to have come from them being Southpark, of course.)

Now don't get me wrong, this isn't a 5 star movie-miracle by any means, but it is certainly entertaining. I say this NOT having seen the original movie and not knowing anything about this one other than looking at the posters and being able to derive:

"hmmmm, here we have another potentially-crappy Adam Sandler movie about football (of which we have way too many football movies as there is) and Paramount made it so it must suck given their track record of the last 5 years."

How nice it was to be wrong!

***SPOILERS AHEAD***

Now no Hollywood movie today can be made that isn't predictable, and this one is no different. The last 2 reels are more boring (but of course REQUIRED per the storyline) than anything. I mean, they HAD to play this football game and you KNEW that the inmate team would initially go for pain the first few minutes of the game and then you KNEW they would kick some butt in the first half and then you KNEW the jail warden would threaten Adam Sandler to throw the game and then you KNEW the third quarter would be spent with Adam Sandler fucking things up and then you KNEW his pride would get the better of him and then you KNEW they would JUST BARELY win the game in THE LAST SECOND. DUH!!!!

***END SPOILERS***

But still the first 4 reels were quite enjoyable and overall the movie was pretty good, and our buddy Phil Hill will certainly enjoy the cheerleaders. [Razz]

3.5 out of 5 stars

Posted by Don Anderson (Member # 397) on 05-27-2005, 11:09 PM:

I liked it too! Much better than the original. Kinda hard to believe that Sandler was a former quarterback, he's kinda skinny. But, the jokes were funny, lots of Football action. Gotta love those cheerleaders!!!!! Lousy job splicing the War of The Worlds trailer onto the first reel. Off by two sprocket holes......IDIOTS. Our evening shows on Friday night were packed! Looks like a hit.

Posted by Mike Heenan (Member # 392) on 05-28-2005, 12:25 AM:

It's a shame they made it a PG 13 flick, the original was a nice R, and had a funny dialogue going in one part, "I broke his f@cking neck".

Posted by Allison Parsons (Member # 2728) on 05-28-2005, 12:51 AM:

quote: Don Anderson
Lousy job splicing the War of The Worlds trailer onto the first reel. Off by two sprocket holes

I was wondering if we were the only theatre that had that problem! I guess not.

Posted by Mike Blakesley (Member # 26) on 05-28-2005, 02:21 AM:

The original had a higher Greco factor too, with Reynolds' girlfriend in the opening scenes. The chick in the new movie is uhhh, not as gorgeous (at least from the trailer...I haven't seen the film yet)

Posted by Aaron Garman (Member # 1653) on 05-29-2005, 01:44 AM:

One of our prints had TWO War of the Worlds trailers attached, back to back. Both were spliced on out of frame. In fact, all three prints were spliced incorrectly.

AJG

Posted by Richard Greco (Member # 2032) on 05-29-2005, 04:05 PM:

Courtney Cox has big boobs [Eek!]

Posted by Monte L Fullmer (Member # 2797) on 05-29-2005, 06:48 PM:

LOL - uh-oh, Richard's having another hormone attack again...

Posted by Pravin Ratnam (Member # 1417) on 05-29-2005, 06:50 PM:

I enjoyed it. Nothing great. I wish they had more jokes in between practices.

Best part : Courtney COx's new tits. Are those post preggers boobs or are those implants?

Posted by Sam Graham (Member # 2889) on 05-30-2005, 08:59 PM:

CINEMA: Cinemark 16, Fort Collins, CO
AUDITORIUM: 2
PRESENTATION: (Presumably) DTS Digital
PRESENTATION PROBLEMS: Playing a Dolby Digital trailer in analog
RATING: 2 and one half stars (out of four)

WARNING: Spoilers are bad for your complexion

Girl at ticket window is talking on her cell phone. Is that really a good example for theatre patrons? "Blah blah blah...blah...blah blah blah...Hi!" "Two for The Longest Yard, please." "Ten fifty. Thank you. Blah blah blah...blah...blah blah blah blah..."

The television commercials fire up in center channel analog. This is a good sign, because every movie I've seen here since "Peter Pan" has been an audio nightmare. The digital fails for lengthy periods of time and the analog wildly pans to different channels across the front sound stage at random. It's so bad, actual patrons get up to complain. Not today, though. The only sound issue appeared to be miscommunication. All but two of the trailers played in digital, and the two that didn't did not have "DTS" listed in the tail credits that I saw. So it was really silly that whoever assembled this print tacked on Dolby's "Stomp" trailer, which, of course, played in analog.

Last year, an all-star cast much more capable than this one ripped "The Stepford Wives" to shreds, and I'm still bitter. So my expectations going into this remake featuring Saturday Night Live alumni and multiple professional wrestlers were far below "low". It didn't help that I happened to be watching this movie in the very same auditorium I saw "The Stepford Wives" redux in.

To that degree, I was pleasantly surprised. Yes, this was far lighter than the original, and duplicating the ending of the original only helped to show how less capable this cast is than the original at drama, but it was still better than I could have ever expected.

I might have even gone three stars if it weren't for the completely unwarranted Rob Schneider cameos.

Nah.

Posted by Mike Blakesley (Member # 26) on 05-30-2005, 09:08 PM:

From other reviews I've read, apparently they left out the original under-story of the movie, which is the struggle of the prisoners to keep some sort of human-ness against the prison warden, who only sees them as scum. Too bad, that was what made it a classic -- it gave you something to ponder about, while treating you to some fun football action.

Posted by John Walsh (Member # 168) on 06-05-2005, 07:32 AM:

My own feeling ... a film that will be quickly forgotten. This is exactly the kind of product that is killing exhibition; mediocre filler that you still pay high percentages for, dropped-kicked to DVD within two months of release.

Posted by William T. Parr (Member # 677) on 06-08-2005, 10:35 AM:

quote: Richard Greco
Courtney Cox has big boobs

Down Boy.....Down'

Posted by Mike Blakesley (Member # 26) on 06-21-2005, 10:16 PM:

Finally got a chance to see this. The original is better in every way.

I was counting on James Cromwell to redeem himself as the warden, but Eddie Albert in the original was much more sinister and snaky, not to mention believeable.

The scene where the inmates get their uniforms was one of the coolest and funniest parts of the original movie, and was totally botched in this one. As was the scene where Crewe decides to get back into the game.

I could go through scene by scene with complaints, but that would be boring. Suffice to say -- rent the original. No, buy it.