Film-Tech Forum ARCHIVE: Orphan (2009)

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Posted by Sam Graham (Member # 2889) on 07-25-2009, 12:05 AM:

CINEMA: Megaplex 17 at Jordan Commons, Sandy, UT
AUDITORIUM: 7
PRESENTATION: Dolby Digital Cinema DLP
PRESENTATION PROBLEMS: None [Cool]

RATING: One star (out of four)

THE PLOT: Some idiots adopt a psycho. Wackiness ensues.

I actually sat through the first quarter or so of this thinking of ways this could have been a lot better...even brilliant. The first was to drop the scary music. But ultimately, I just got mad at this piece of crap. There's only so much stupidity I can put up with.

REASONS THIS MOVIE SUCKS:

1. LENGTH - No horror movie should be more than 90 minutes long, unless it's brilliant. Then it can go 10 more minutes. But no more. This movie is 123 FREAKING MINUTES LONG!

2. SPOOKY MUSIC - There must have been 16,723 instances of shrieking violins in this damn thing. Guy sneaks up behind wife...shrieking violins. Girl paints picture...shrieking violins. Deaf girl smiles...shrieking violins. Kids play in snow...shrieking violins. I get bored watching this thing...shrieking violins.

3. DUMB ACTIONS - The cast members did every stupid thing possible about five times each. It was like a parody of cliches.

4. BELIEVABILITY - Suspend disbelief? I would suggest having a lobotomy before going to this.

Dump this turd as quickly as possible.

Posted by Joe Tommassello (Member # 4632) on 11-19-2009, 03:53 PM:

Better than average psychological/horror thriller.

I have to disagree with Sam. I found this film very entertaining. It's as much psychological thriller as horror film and much better than the usual slasher muck we get these days. The characters are not only facing the problems with the new member of the family but the scars from mistakes in their pasts.

As for Sam's specific complaints...

1. I did not find it slow at any point in spite of the inordinately long running time.

2. Being a musician I am sensitive to music that seems inappropriate in a scene (see my post on the terrible Wolf Man trailer music) but the music did not distract me at all in this film.

3. I am not sure what stupid things the characters did to which Sam is referring.

4. Believability? It's a movie! Don't watch 2012! Or Road Runner cartoons for that matter.

Posted by Bill Enos (Member # 440) on 11-19-2009, 06:41 PM:

I'm with Joe. Great movie that got stranger as it went on. As Claude says in his 2012 review, check your brain at the door.