Film-Tech Forum ARCHIVE: Hellboy (2019)

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Posted by Sam Graham (Member # 2889) on 04-11-2019, 10:41 PM:

CINEMA: Regal Warren East, Wichita, KS
AUDITORIUM: 14, SEAT: G15
PRESENTATION: Warren GRAND auditorium on the slope floor with Regal Orange is the New Crown Roller Coaster Vision
PRESENTATION PROBLEMS: None [Cool]

RATING: Two stars (out of four)

27 MINUTES OF TRAILERS LATER: “Yeah, I’m not going to any of those.”

THE PLOT: Some guys need some help killing some giants. Wackiness ensues.

Anyone who hasn’t gotten the memo that Guillermo del Toro and Ron Perlman aren’t involved shouldn’t take more than ten seconds into this to be slapped in the face with that reality. That’s about the point where the narrator uses the phrase “pissed off”. Stay classy, narrator. I’d be amused to see people walk out at this point.

The movie does have the basic Hellboy characteristics. His snark is there and there’s lots of mythical creatures and battles and plot twists and stuff, but it’s all far simplier and less interesting than it would have been with del Toro. The whole thing plays to an 80’s metal soundtrack, which is really really fitting.

But go in fully realizing that and with really low expectations and you may actually have a decent time. I expected it to be awful. You know what? It wasn’t as awful as it could have been. I mean, it’s not good, but it’s not...awful.