At about 7:30pm, my late vendor comes in and tells me that there is a car out in the staff lot parked the wrong way in the angle parking, partially jumping the curb and in the bushes. He tells me that as he walked in he saw legs in the air.

Thinking this is just your normal teen hormone thing, I call an usher, and head out to scare and embarrass the kids and tell them to get out of here.

So anyway... we start aproaching the car and we notice the guy's naked rear end sticking up in the air, so my usher freaks out and refuses to get closer than 10 feet to the car. I walk up to the window getting a good look inside, and see a 40ish year old guy, naked on all fours on the reclined back passenger seat. So I tap on the window, and that is the first he noticed me. So he climbs over to the drivers side, and puts a towel or something over his "excited" lap as he rolls down the window acting as if nothing is wrong. So I tell him to leave now or I'll call the cops, and he leaves.

But here's the kicker: At first I thought there was someone else in the car, but getting a good look I realized THE GUY WAS ALONE IN THE CAR, AND WAS HAVING SEX BY HUMPING THE PASSENGER SEAT!!!

What a nice Birthday Present for me.

Anyone else have a strange but true story to share?
 

This is nowhere near a good a story as yours but it was funny.

On the weekend one of our customers was coming to the movies and found a dog (quite large) roaming the streets and decides it shouldn't be.

So this guy goes to the shops, buys a large roll of string, catches the dog and ties it to the fire hydrant next to the front door. He then comes in buys his ticket, tells me I better do something about the dog and gives me the string in case it gets loose and I have to tie it up again.

I rang the RSPCA and I think they came and got it because it disappeared all of a sudden. But for 2 hours this dog was barking its head off, and scaring the shit out of everyone else who had to get in the door.

And I hate dogs!

Paul

 

He comes in during a week day matinee and we do the tour. When we get to the auditoriums, he wants to see one with the work lights on. I explain that the features are running, but if we happen across an empty theatre, I will gladly light it up for him.

So we set off, my light key in hand.....

We walk into an apparently empty auditorium and I flick on the work lights and immediately notice that there are two people in the handicap area on the floor. I politely excuse myself and turn them back off. We exit the auditorium.

Only after returning to the hall way does my brain actually process the image that it had just recorded. I turned to the banker and asked, "Were they doing what I think they were doing?"

His reply was to the affirmative, using the exact same matter of fact, dead panned delivery that I had used. I called and had an usher deal with it so I could continue the tour.

The usher told me later that he had marched right in, turned on the lights and informed the patrons that we would have to ask them to dress and leave the facility.

He said that the guy actually said "Can you give us a minute?"

Woo-Hoo!! Those stadium auditoriums sure are comfy!!

Russ

I doubt many people would want to put ANYTHING naked on an old cement floor from the 40's.

Although maybe that explains what the stickiness is...
 

I have two humurous ones:

One evening around suppertime, someone calls my attention to a couple parked in a parking lot across the street, having sex in the back seat of their car, a large, 1960's car. Even tho we were on a higher elevation, all we could see was an occasional leg and a bobbing white butt. (They probably took back-seat sex into account when they designed those cars.) A little while later, someone calls me back out there because they are emerging from the car. They managed to get dressed without exposing themselves, but they are having to spend a lot of time straigtening out their clothes. We are watching them do this and a guy who has been standing half a block away, all this time, not paying any attention, walks towards them. Much to our surprise, the three of them get into the car and drive off!

One Sunday afternoon, about ten minutes till showtime, our usher asks me, "What's our policy on dogs?" I say, "Why do you ask?" She tells me that the lady sitting over there, and discretely gestures, has a dog in her purse. This was an older woman, and beside her seat she had one of those large purses that's as big as a full-size paper grocery sack. She doesn't seem to be paying us a bit of attention, so I watch for a minute. Her purse wiggles of its own accord. Then I find out from the usher the only way she knew about the dog was that she saw the woman in the library a couple of hours earlier and the dog had stuck its head out. I asked her if she'd heard the dog make a noise, and she said she had not. She was going to watch this film, so I told her to get me if the dog made a noise, which it did not. We aim to please.
 

quote:

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the deliveryman who dropped off two 35mm shipping cases and asked, as I was signing the paperwork, "do you guys show movies here?"

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Once I was on the stage of the Mobile Saenger theater, standing near all the lines & sandbags at the pin rail, & talking to the tech director. The loading door at the back of the stage was open.

A guy pokes his head in the loading door, walks in off the street, down the stage past two curtains & under the proscenium to the edge of the orchestra pit, & looks out at 2400 red seats, a balcony, ellipsoidal spotlights on box booms & the front of house rail, a projection/spot booth, & a blazing chandelier the size of Vermont.

He turns around to us & says:
"Hey, is this a theater?"

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William Hooper
Junk drawer: http://www.geocities.com/hollywood/theater/3622
Theatre Empire: http://members.xoom.com/saenger.1

A few years back I was working as an usher before I went up into the booth and we had a group of "rough" kids come in. They were juvenile justice center breakouts if I ever saw one. I can't remember the movie they saw, but they were the only ones in the auditorium and it was some white-trash horror flick.

I was ordered to keep an eye on them which I did, and they were always comming in and out of the show. Being the only ones in the auditorium, and they were buying stuff at the stand when they were out, we let them go.

When the show was over, the assistant manager and my self went into clean. There was an oder in the air as if someone was smoking cigars. Except it wasn't smoke! Thats right in was HUMAN FECES! These bastards crapped in their popcorn bags and then flung it around the auditoriums as if they were monkeys! I still remember that as if it was yesterday, and I'm sure I will never forget it. These people will be immediately executed upon my assention to the dictatorship.
 

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The man with the magic hands.
 

As for the fecal problem, I went through the same problem only it was a gas station restroom with tile walls. The irritating part was that I gave the F****R the key!

He painted the walls with it, and we had a "professional" come and clean it out. Some people are total pigs.

In Tyler, Texas, an entire multiplex had to be evacuated when somebody unloaded a fire extinguisher in a hall full of people seeing Thir13en Ghosts. Seems like this theater certainly gets a rough crowd.

A loooong time ago when I was working at Mann Kipling Place 6, which was a 1st and a half run theater (so to speak), a drunk couple came in after buying tickets. Guess what happens next!!! (NO -- you guessed wrong). Anyway, they approached the concession counter to purchase some consumable goods to enjoy during their feature presentation. During the transaction the guy asked the concessionist if he thought that his girlfriend had "nice tits". "Uh yeah sure!" was the concessionists reply. The drunk guy then proceeded to pull his girlfriend's boob out of her blouse and show it to the concessionist saying "I think these are damn nice tits!". The girl didn't seem to mind at all. The concessionist replied "Yeah that's a pretty nice one there!"

What was the slogan for The Anniversary Party? "It's not a party until something gets broken".

I called UA and told my story about the work lights. A VP or whatever told me a chip in the projector might have malfunctioned. She was kind enough to send me passes as a consolation.
 

Cobb Edison Park 8, Ft. Myers, Florida - Opening night of "The Doors". I got into an argument with my projectionist (Julian O'Grady). You see, he had keys to the manager's office and he kept coming in when I had lots of dollar bills on the desk. He gave me his keys and told me he was going home. What I did not know was he left our back projection door unlocked so he could get his stuff upstairs. At some point in time a young, drunk patron watching "The Doors" went to look for the restroom. He found the back projection door, went upstairs and pissed on our print of the movie (not to mention the projector, the floor, etc. etc.)My technician loved that late night call - "Uh, could you tell me what kind of damage urine can do to a print?" The young man's friends left him there to be picked up by his parents.

Absolutely true story...............

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"Running through life at 24 frames per second"
 

Last summer (2001), I was working a small Sunday night wedding reception of about 50-60 people. The Bride & Groom were really cutting costs, and chose to have a DJ instead of a wedding photographer. After most of the guests had left (maybe 10-12 people left in the ballroom), the groom came up to me.

He said, "Barry do you ever do favors for people?"

I was thinking, He's old enough to buy his own liquor.. what does he want?

He said, "Nicole and I were looking around the room and realized your the only person here we don't really know that well."

I said, "OK"?

"How long will it take you to pack up your gear", he asked?

I replied,"About 30 minutes".

He then said, "Nicole and I were wondering if you'd come up to our room on the 7th floor when your finished packing up?"

"Up to your room?, I stated.

He then pulled out a wad of $20.00 bills and said, "I've got $150.00 here if you'll come up to our room and videotape us".

I won the "Weddings From Hell" trophy 3 weeks ago for telling that story at the TWSA ( www.twsa.com )meeting.

Oh, by the way... my new $150.00 Macco paint job on the Beretta looks great!!

------------------
Barry Floyd
Floyd Entertainment Group
Nashville, Tennessee
(Drive-In Theatre - Start-Up)

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Adam Fraser
www.pinestheatre.com
 

...the turkey she had hidden under her belly. Nope, not pregnernt, but burned pretty bad from the cooking pan it was in.

Instead of cutting this thing up in advance, they tried sneaking the whole thing in fresh from the oven, and planned on cutting it up in the auditorium.

Needless to say, they didnt stay for the feature, but the rest of the audience had quite a show to remember.

Dave
 

On the weekends we would get a change loan from the bank and run our safe over a couple of thousand dollars from what it was usually during the week. As part of the deal with the bank, we had to have the loan repaid by monday. Occasionally, when business was unexpectedly slow, we would end up redepositing ones and quarters to finish the repayment. Got it? (Not sure how common a practice that is.)

Okay. So one sunday night the closing manager threw a couple of $100 stacks of singles and a few rolls of quarters into the drop safe to be picked up the next morning by the armored car service. The drop safe had a barrel on top with a slot, you turn the knob, and the money spins and falls into the safe. Except the stacks of ones mixed with the quarter rolls and jammed the barrel about halfway through. The manager put some muscle into it, and finally got the thing to spin and the money dropped into the safe.

Enter me the next morning to open. When the armored car shows up, the guard and i open the safe and find 200 1/2 dollar bills all over the safe. The entire bundle of ones were sliced cleanly in half, and they fluttered all over. I gave the guard a fresh bundle of ones to make the deposit correct, and spent the rest of the day matching left hand serial numbers to right hand serial numbers and scotch taping them back together again.

-Adam

Oh, one other money story, while i'm thinking. I once found a mutant bill in a stack recieved from the bank. Half of a five was taped to half of a one. The odd thing was that, with the bill removed, the bundle of fives still had 100 good bills in it. I thought banks were supposed to remove things like that from circulation. Oh well, it got stapled to the wall in the count room. Along with a bunch of the other counterfit bills we had been passed that the Secret Service didn't want. ... now i'm rambling
 

The same cinema had a collection of items, mainly womens underwear, that the kids had found during clean ups. My personal favourite was a leather bra with small metal studs in it! Why leave a thing like that behind? I'd have thought it'd cost £££
 

However, after the screening was done (I had too much crap to do to watch it myself), one of the floor-staff people came up to the booth and informed me that a man was sitting in that theater, and was not very responsive when spoken to. Apparently, he had been sitting there during the credits of the last evening show of We Were Soldiers, then chose to continue sitting there, and had not moved from the seat since.
Now that had me irritated.
I hurried downstairs, and grabbed a broom before I entered that auditorium. I approached the guy (broom not in plain sight), and asked him if he was aware that the time was past 2AM, his movie had finished playing over two hours previously, and the theater was now closed. The only response I got was that he cracked his eyes open for about five seconds, looked at me strangely, then closed his eyes again.
Before exiting the auditorium, I made sure to make a hell of a lot of noise with the broom, and some metal hand railings. There was no reaction from the straggler.
Odd.
Well, being smart enough to know that something was fishy about the situation, I called the local police. Within three minutes there was an officer at the front door, and two more showed up within seven minutes of the arrival of the first officer.
I directed them to the auditorium, and then watched with well concealed amusement as they led the guy out in handcuffs a few minutes later.
Apparently he was drunk.
I overheard something about 'criminal tresspassing' and 'probation revocation'.

Guess some people just never learn.

Tonight, I was working on another virus-infected computer. All the doors were locked, and I was the only one in the building.

I then heard doors slam very hard - to the point where I could feel the vibration in the floor. I also heard footsteps. Enough to make my hair stand up on end.

However, there was no breeze outside, and it was the night of the full moon.

Next time I work in the building by myself, I'm gonna bring my .44 magnum!

Oh, well, if it it haunted, it is by a good ghost. The only one I know of that used to work there that is dead now was my predecessor. So, I'll leave my .44 home.

quote:

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After the movie he (Russell Crowe) used the booth restroom and did not flush the toilet.

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This reminded me of a story i had almost forgotten about. At a research screening in Arizona of "Braveheart," Mel Gibson used the booth hand washing sink as a urinal (we didn't have a private bathroom upstairs). A lot of his goons stood down the hall and in the stairway to make sure nobody got by while he did his business. Now, here comes the funny part. In an episode of the Simpsons that Mel guest starred in as himself, he makes a joke to Homer about ducking out the back door of the theater and peeing behind the dumpster so as not to be attacked by the crowd. I wonder how common this is for movie stars to have to pee in wierd places.

-adam