This is topic sleeping with or dating co-workers wrong? in forum Ground Level at Film-Tech Forum ARCHIVE.


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Posted by Andrea Werft (Member # 2551) on 07-18-2004, 08:32 PM:
 
I was just wondering if anyone else has dated or slept with their co-workers? I have to admit that I am guilty of this. Back in the day, AMC had a policy that said no dating other theater employees and was wondering if they still have it? I mean we are talking over 200+ staff that see each other a lot, how can they expect people not to "hook" up. I actually started dating another projectionist and had to quit because others found out. It didn't affect our work performance and we were still professional. What is so wrong?
 

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Posted by Brad Miller (Member # 2) on 07-18-2004, 08:35 PM:
 
Supervisor to staff
Preferential treatment is the biggie. For example, let's say you are screwing your co-worker (the good way, not the bad way). This could be a floor manager, or even someone who doesn't have direct ability to hire/fire such as the head projectionist. Somewhere along the line somebody gets into a debate over the better way to do something (regardless if it is something moronic or completely professional), or maybe it's over something more basic such as scheduling. Assuming you are screwing the head projectionist, he will side with you every time so he doesn't lose his pooty tang. Of course if you stop putting out for him, there is a very good chance that you will be fired for ceasing to be his sex slave, even if it is covered up in an honest fashion (such as he takes cash from your drawer, then fires you for being short). I've seen it happen, and it seems to happen everywhere this sort of romantic/fuck buddy situation occurs.

There are other reasons, but preferential treatment is the driving force. You may think the two of you are being completely professional about it, but odds are discrimination IS happening and you just don't see it. The rest of the staff or management probably does though.

Co-workers
This one isn't nearly as big of an issue because neither is above one another on the food chain. However one of the big problems I always had was the inability for the two lovers to keep their hands off of each other during their shifts. In this instance, I have known staff workers who were completely in love with each other and could turn it on and off the second they stepped through the front doors. I had full respect for that kind of professionalism and had no issues with it. It was the others who would constantly be in the back hallways kissing and groping that posed a problem, because customers sometimes saw them and more often than not, there was work that needed to be done.
 

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Posted by James B. Openshaw (Member # 1310) on 07-18-2004, 08:53 PM:
 
When I worked for AMC (Seven Hills 10), I've seen a lot of dating going between floor staff members as well as dating between floor staff and their supervisors.

Personally, I stay out of dating within the workplace because any relationship can go very sour and if the two employees still work there it could make a negative impact on their working environment.
 

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Posted by Jason Black (Member # 684) on 07-18-2004, 09:16 PM:
 
Like my feelings on sitting at work See This Thread , I must say that dating co-workers is, in general, a very bad practice.

Sure, it may seem cool to nail the hot girl/ guy (so that Phil isn't discrimiated against )at work, but as Brad says, chances are very good that it could turn out to be a case of discrimination and/or sexual harrasment. There are way too many variables, in theory, for this to take place at the workplace. Supervisors/Managers should NEVER 'have relations' with co-workers. Floor level co-workers should not date/co-habitat, in my opinion, however, my policy is that as long as it doesn't show at work, I don't know about it. Like the military, don't ask.. don't tell.

I figure if I can't see it, the customer can't either. And it is, after all, the customer who matters..
 

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Posted by Bobby Henderson (Member # 840) on 07-18-2004, 09:24 PM:
 
One of my friends nearly lost his job over this kind of thing.

Generally, dating co-workers is a bad idea. But it is also a pretty common way for many relationships to start. I would say it is also just as common a way for married people or people in committed relationships to fool around; they just fool around with someone at work. I had a serious relationship end once because the woman I was seeing was fooling around with a co-worker. She actually married that guy, but they got divorced a couple years later.
 

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Posted by Andrea Werft (Member # 2551) on 07-18-2004, 09:35 PM:
 
Well I met the love of my life at AMC, and we are still together after 5 years. I don't once regret choosing him over a job.
 

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Posted by Matthew Nock (Member # 1575) on 07-18-2004, 09:47 PM:
 
As I have told many of my friends who wanna "do" that hot guy/girl they work with:

quote:

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Dont get your meat where you get your bread!

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Posted by Jennifer Pan (Member # 2035) on 07-18-2004, 09:51 PM:
 
Just the other day I was talking to a friend about making a thread just like this one.... For some reason I laugh now...

Its like Arkansas at those AMCs... Everyone's breeding Before you know it their kids will be working there.

As for the whole dating Co-Workers thing. At my AMC I haven't seen any misbehavior but at the AMC I used to work at... People got freaky.
 

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Posted by Chris Hipp (Member # 1788) on 07-18-2004, 10:50 PM:
 

quote: Andrea Werft

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Well I met the love of my life at AMC, and we are still together after 5 years. I don't once regret choosing him over a job.

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quote: Brad Miller

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Now where's your member picture?

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Very good question.
 

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Posted by Andrea Werft (Member # 2551) on 07-18-2004, 11:42 PM:
 
The pic is coming soon! It is only my first day!
 

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Posted by Chris Hipp (Member # 1788) on 07-19-2004, 12:13 AM:
 
Andrea, did you see Anchorman by any chance?

Seriously, I dont think that a company should have any rules about what employees do on their time off.
 

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Posted by Andrea Werft (Member # 2551) on 07-19-2004, 12:17 AM:
 
No, I haven't seen it yet. Still deciding if I want to , with all of your mixed reviews and all on here! I do love comedies though.
 

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Posted by Chris Hipp (Member # 1788) on 07-19-2004, 12:22 AM:
 
well, it fits in well with this topic.
 

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Posted by Nate Lehrke (Member # 1460) on 07-19-2004, 01:15 AM:
 

quote: Chris Hipp

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Seriously, I dont think that a company should have any rules about what employees do on their time off.

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Try telling that too the now closed Madstone Theatres. They insisted that you had to see all the films playing on your off time. You would be treated badly if you hadn't seen a film each week.
But, they did have a policy about employes dating employees though I seem to think they ignored most the time. I should move this over to the Madstone Thread!
 

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Posted by William Hooper (Member # 71) on 07-19-2004, 02:22 AM:
 
Usually all the bombs go off when there's a power differential of one person being higher in the organizational structure than the other.
 

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Posted by Mike Williams (Member # 1140) on 07-19-2004, 05:12 AM:
 
I met my wife at the theatre. We have been married for over 2 years and together for about 5 now.
After we started dating, she was transfered to another theater. Regal had / still has a strict fraternization policy.
 

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Posted by Jeremy Fuentes (Member # 2135) on 07-19-2004, 06:26 AM:
 
I too met my wife at the theater I used to work at. I dont remember if they had a policy against it or not, but the management at the time didnt seem to care. We were even scheduled to work together in the same concession. Everything was kept very professional, we made sure of that. But I had to quit when we found out we were having a baby. Cant buy too many diapers on $5.60 an hour. I was out of the theater business for 2 years because of it, but it was what I had to do.
 

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Posted by Dennis Benjamin (Member # 1137) on 07-19-2004, 06:29 AM:
 
While most companies have strict policies in regards to "fraternization" (or whatever you call it!). We are all human, that is the bottom line.

Things happen. As long as it is handled properly and professionally - things can turn out great. Just ask my wife of 5 (coming up on 6) years, and my two boys.

When the theatre business is your life - these kinds of things are bound to happen.


 

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Posted by Dominic Espinosa (Member # 2122) on 07-19-2004, 11:56 AM:
 
Dennis is right. I mean, where else would a career projectionist meat a person who can put up with their neurotic ways?

I met my girlfriend at the movies. Hooray for film.


As long as the employees aren't playing favorites on the job or ignoring their duties, and of course not in the theater I don't see any problem with it. It's when people who have no self control go off and hang around the candy counter, or wherever their lover is working and ignore their duties that you've got to draw the line.
 

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Posted by William T. Parr (Member # 677) on 07-19-2004, 12:49 PM:
 
Todd 1st rule of Sex: Never until I am married or in a very long term commited relation ship
2nd rule of Sex: Never go fishing off the company pier.
 

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Posted by Robert E. Allen (Member # 1351) on 07-19-2004, 03:12 PM:
 
But Chris, if what you do on your off-time negatively influences your job performance they certainly have a right to terminate you. I would take such policy as a warning (and as a private employer they do have a right to set such a policy).
 

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Posted by Gordon McLeod (Member # 33) on 07-19-2004, 04:11 PM:
 
My take is what you do off the company property of the clock is your own affair and none of their business as long as it doesn't effect work
 

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Posted by Chris Hipp (Member # 1788) on 07-19-2004, 06:45 PM:
 
There should be rules about no "fraternization" on the clock. Meaning you cant have sex at work. However, the two should be able to do waht they want outside of work. If it is becoming a problem with job performance then yes they should be dealt with.
 

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Posted by Steve Kraus (Member # 476) on 07-19-2004, 06:55 PM:
 
Hey Richard G, your chosen career path is ideal for you, provided you forget the celebriteens and get with the staff. Just when you get tired of one she'll graduate and go off to college and you can move on! Good luck with the job & dating search.
 

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Posted by Phil Hill (Member # 371) on 07-19-2004, 07:03 PM:
 
While NOT singling out anyone ...Excuse me while I

While all yous platitudes and goodie-2-shoes justifications for having relationships with co-workers is fine, what you all seem to forget about in your tongue-licking passion is, the LAWYERS!

The MAIN reason the companies have those rules is NOT to stop yous from fucking who you want, but it is in case some love-work "relationship" turns out to be a power struggle or even a bitchfest.

The company is ONLY protecting themselves. ...so that the COMPANY is held harmless when Ms. sez Mr. (or Mr. sez Mr., or Ms. sez Ms.) used their "powers" over the current/ex fuckbuddy/lover/etc. Or! Hey, I didn't get promoted but my BF did! WTF?

It's a litigious society! As a manager, you BEST know this!

>>> Phil
 

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Posted by Dennis Benjamin (Member # 1137) on 07-19-2004, 07:25 PM:
 
Hey, as a manager of 15 years, I know this. Rules are in place for a reason.

My wife quit her job before we starting dating. I wouldn't have had it any other way.
 

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Posted by Jason Burroughs (Member # 68) on 07-19-2004, 07:55 PM:
 
Only once have I gone fishin' off the company pier, and I learned my lesson. Both of us were basically on the same level, neither in a supervisory position. Our dating was never an issue while we were dating, simply because we didn't advertise it. Ok, didn't advertise it much.

The problem came after we split. Even though she had quit by that time to go off to school, it was still awkward because we each had friends there. Fortunatly it wasn't an ugly situation, which I HAVE seen before. Just that everyone knows everyone's business.

Would I do it again? No
Do I regret it? Absolutly not

Just don't crap where you make your bread
 

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Posted by Martin Brooks (Member # 1269) on 07-21-2004, 12:44 AM:
 
There is generally no legal justification for preventing employees who are not in a supervisory/subordinate relationship with each other from dating each other, as long as it doesn't affect their work performance.

The only thing an employee can argue if a relationship goes badly between two employees of equal level is a hostile working environment and that would be very hard to prove in that circumstance.

The fact is that as we're required to work more and more hours, the main place people meet other people is at work and relationships are bound to happen. If people behave professionally on the job, there is absolutely no reason for their employer to take any action whatsoever. If I were ever fired under such circumstances, I would definitely sue for wrongful termination, "at-will" or not.

I've worked for three big corporations and the sexual harassment rules were the same at each: if a supervisor has a relationship with a subordinate and the subordinate complains or someone else complains because they detect favoritism, the person of the higher level has to leave the company.

I once had a relationship with someone in my company. To this day, no one knows we were seeing each other. I was working about 60 hours a week in those days and also had to give up many weekends and travel. Under those circumstances, where did they think I was going to meet someone other than at the company? I had almost no life outside the company.
 

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Posted by Jack Ondracek (Member # 1466) on 07-21-2004, 02:42 AM:
 
20 years ago, I married the news director of a small, S. Oregon radio station I was doing contract engineering for. I used to tell her I'd be gazing at her through the holes in the equipment racks when I was in for service calls... she'd tell me I was full of ... That was good enough for me!

Raised 2 kids... adopted (and raised) another... raised a couple of drive-ins & an indoor... and miscellaneous cats, dogs, guinea pigs, a bird or two and a ferret.

Can't complain!
 

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Posted by Barry Floyd (Member # 385) on 07-21-2004, 09:50 AM:
 
My wife just will not let me date any of our employees...

We have a staff of about 15-16 people, and about half of them are in High School. Most of my "adult" staff are either married or settled into a relationship with someone who does not work at the theatre. My teenaged staff members are the horny ones. Watertown is a very small town, so the "pickin's are slim".

We had a "situation" a couple of weeks ago when I learned that one of my concessions staff was "servicing" the kitchen crew. Not just one.. but several of them. What they do when they're not at work doesn't concern me, as long as it does not affect their duties at work. When it finally did start creating some tensions.. I called all 4 of them into my office.

As one of them explained... "It's cool... that's what friends do for each other".

How come I never had friends like that in High School??
 

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Posted by Richard Greco (Member # 2032) on 07-21-2004, 10:03 AM:
 
All the people at my old theatre were really hot....Yes they were 17 year olds. BUT!! They would'nt have given me the time of day anyway. So...nevermind...
 

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Posted by Jeremy Fuentes (Member # 2135) on 07-21-2004, 10:04 AM:
 
Barry, send me an application to work at your theater!!
 

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Posted by Pravin Ratnam (Member # 1417) on 07-21-2004, 10:11 AM:
 
Only in the kitchen Jeremy!
 

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Posted by Dean Kollet (Member # 1789) on 07-21-2004, 10:21 AM:
 
I met my g/f at work, we are both projectionists and everything's been fine for 8 months now. Granted we don't work the same shifts half the time, but I don't see a problem with it. We keep to ourselves on our shifts and don't bring anything to work. Mgmt. knows b/c people talk and they try to get me to admit to it, but I just keep my mouth shut.

Saying that, it can REALLY be a mess if it doesn't work out. Bringing drama to the floor is a result and it affects work habits.
 

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Posted by Jeremy Fuentes (Member # 2135) on 07-21-2004, 01:46 PM:
 
Posted on Cinematour...

Right on topic.
 

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Posted by Steve Scott (Member # 630) on 07-21-2004, 02:08 PM:
 
With the exception of one, every woman I've dated was from the workplace. I only quit because of one girlfriend. She got fired and I quit, thinking my boss would consider that an ultimatum... That lasted about a year. I met my current GF, a coworker at my former employer, Best Buy. We'll have our one-year tomorrow actually

Dating or sleeping with a coworker just requires enough space in and out of work. I think that it's harder to do at a theater becuase there's a lot more slower times during the workday, and that can make those personal arguments surface or get mulled over to the point of craziness.

I liked dating while I was a retail worker, all we had time to do while at work was watch each other run around
I guess I just love a woman in a vest
 

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Posted by Jeremy Fuentes (Member # 2135) on 07-21-2004, 05:15 PM:
 

quote:

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here's a lot more slower times during the workday

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quote: Barry Floyd

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My wife just will not let me date any of our employees...

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Barry,
Did you offer to let your wife have the same privileges?
 

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Posted by Gordon McLeod (Member # 33) on 07-21-2004, 09:49 PM:
 
Okay just skip the dating and sleeping part and just go for the raw sex
 

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Posted by Ken Lackner (Member # 1002) on 07-21-2004, 10:02 PM:
 

quote: Barry Floyd

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As one of them explained... "It's cool... that's what friends do for each other"

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quote: Matt Hefright

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its when play and work collide brusing the whole company that the trouble will start and go on down the line.

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Hmmm... maybe theater financial problems of earlier this decade could have been caused by employee relationships?

Jeremy, you're right, that is what caused all of my relationships too. But it's a double edged sword I guess, in some places.
 

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Posted by Leo Enticknap (Member # 534) on 07-22-2004, 07:40 PM:
 
The big risk, IMHO, is of a workplace relationship screwing up (the nasty way, not the nice way) and the ex-couple still trying to work there afterwards. I've seen it happen in a variety of workplaces (cinemas, archives and universities) and in each and every case there was always some fallout on third parties which they shouldn't have had to deal with. On one occasion I was caught in the middle between one of these relationship breakdowns (i.e. I was one of a team of three, with the other two consisting of the ex-couple) and had to deal with constant rants from each of them about how evil the other was. On another I was the line manager of one of them; I eventually lost patience and read her the riot act after she started having an almighty row with her ex in the cinema bar. Needless to say, I became known as the heartless Nazi of the whole place within minutes.

Whereas you certainly couldn't ban workplace relationships even if doing so was a good idea, I do think that employers are entitled to include some statement in their staff handbooks to the effect that they don't care if employees are shagging another employee, their boss or even a goat; just as long as they make sure that the consequences of that relationship don't get in the way of their or their colleagues' professional duties.

Personally I would avoid such relationships like the plague, simply because they seem to me to have such a high failure rate. I don't think I'd ask someone working in my own immediate department on a date even if I was attracted to her (though admittedly, the situation has never arisen), simply because the odds would be so high of the whole thing ending in tears.
 

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Posted by Barry Martin (Member # 1376) on 11-01-2004, 12:03 PM:
 
Got a situation with this right now. My 17 year old concessionist who has a lot of problems already, but those haven't affected her work has now decided to date my 29 year old relief projectionist. Now, you would think there would be no problem as they never work together and when I found out they were dating she (concessionist) promised she's dated people at her other jobs and never lets it interfere with her work.

Well, a couple weeks ago I brought my 2 year old to watch her first movie on the big screen, Shark Tale. Unfortunately, Shark Tale was not as good as her favorite, Finding Nemo so we had to leave the theater and spend some time in the lobby. I come out and find the two of them kissing. Not passionately or anything, but still. Now she wasn't working and we don't wear uniforms so to most it would appear harmless. I planned on having a talk when she was next working, but the next day I get a call from one of the owners who stopped by before I came out of Shark Tale and saw them sitting in the lobby with her head on his lap.

Now, he does sell tickets/concession as needed so people coming out of the movie would definitely know at least he was an employee. When I confront the concessionist and bring up she said it would never interfere with work she explains SHE wasn't working. After our talk she didn't seem interested in seeing it didn't happen again so I told her she is not allowed in the theater on my day off any longer, and if she comes by for any reason, there would be consequences.

Of course she thinks this terribly unfair as he works another job 5 days a week after she gets out of school so she only has 2 days to see him, one of which she works at the theater and the other he works at the theater. My suggestion is to date someone she goes to school with who will probably have a schedule closer to hers.

Well, she is still begging to come in on my day off as it is supposedly the only day (despite only working 4 days/week and no matinees) that she can watch a movie. The owners are thinking of cutting back on hours anyways because of our poor attendance the last two months and suggest we start with the concessionist not only because of the issues but also because she works more hours than anyone.

Now, I'm a bit of a hypocrite as I dated someone below me in the theater chain when I was a supervisor at Loews, but I never got a stern talking to or anything, just the GM warning me to be careful. We were fairly professional and didn't even have much occasion to talk to eachother let alone make out at work. Even when I was on break and she came by while not working I wouldn't let her get to close to me, let alone fondle me

I do have one regret with the no-fraternization rule. Shortly after I stopped dating the girl below me at my home theater I was sent to Methuen, MA to open the Loews at the Loop as a Corporate Trainer. This was the only time I had ever heard of a no-fraternization rule at Loews and heard someone willing to enforce it so I listened. But there was one girl that worked concession close to my age that was cute as a button and came on to me pretty hard, I told her it wasn't allowed. Silly Barry, I had my own hotel room and everything. Plus, I was going to be back at my theater in 2 weeks or less, so we wouldn't be working in the same place. Methuen wasn't too far either. Oh well, I probably never would have met my wife (a weekly customer of the other place I worked at outside of movie theaters) and had our two daughters, all 3 of which are cuter than the Methuen girl.
 

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Posted by Jack Ondracek (Member # 1466) on 11-01-2004, 04:21 PM:
 
Just an aside here...

Over a two-year period, I relieved 2 Assistant Managers of their jobs... no notice, no questions, nothing... bye-bye. They both were observed... or caught red-handed in the booth, on the couch (or the floor) with female lobby personnel.

In our case, the concession staff did not have anything to do with the booth, so we kept them out of the area. That policy also allowed us to keep the sound racks and other equipment relatively unsecured without worrying about knob-twisters.

All staff knew the policy, and the Asst Mgrs violated it on nights when they had the theatre to themselves. All I needed was some of that malarkey to turn into a harassment issue.

More responsibility + more authority = more accountability...

(or it should).
 

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Posted by Brad Allen (Member # 470) on 11-02-2004, 12:30 PM:
 
Barry, your asking for trouble.
There's a reason I have a rule that employees that arn't scheduled to work are NOT allowed to come to the theatre to loaf.
Period. Anyone that comes to pick up an employee, waits outside. I'd probably done like Jack, and fired them both on the spot.
You know in some states, your 29 yr old projectionist is breaking the law by dating a 17 yr old and doing any
If it's not breaking the law in your state, he's taking a big chance she'll claim he did have against her will when the relationship goes south, and it will. 17yr olds are brain dead. Tell your 17yr old the place is a business, and not a place for social engagements for her. Life isn't fair, and it's time she had a lesson. And your 29yr old needs smacked up side the head for being a moron.
 

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Posted by David Yauch (Member # 2754) on 11-02-2004, 02:44 PM:
 
I have seen tons of these little relationships bomb out, and the fallout can be terrible. A lot of times it's simply losing a good staff member because he/she can't work with the other anymore.

But I really can't open my mouth here, since my fiancee is a co-worker. Not only that, we started dating when we were supervisor/subordinate, though we are on an even keel now and in projection all the time. I will say we would never let it interfere with getting work done and would never do anything anywhere in public view. Both of us understand the potential consequences to such action.
 

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Posted by Barry Martin (Member # 1376) on 11-02-2004, 09:27 PM:
 
Brad, I realize the problems and I've told them it's not acceptable, but aside from firing someone there is not much else to be done. The projectionist would be a real pain to replace as we're not exactly teeming with movie theaters around here, so not many experienced and being only a twin we don't have much practice to offer a newcomer. The concessionist...sigh....she is a good girl who is just screwing up (no pun intended) and the owners are trying to help her straighten out. She was fired from their ice cream shop for coming around after hours to socialize with some unsavory people. She has worked the theater for 3 years though and we'd hate to fire her but that is probably where it's going. We have to cut back on hours right now anyway by having one of the owners come in and work instead, and the 17 year old has said this may mean she needs a different job. As far as the legality of their dating/boning, I have no idea. I'm from MA until I moved here in VT in April, and don't know if it's legal or not, though (of course) they say it is. We'll see what happens, hopefully it will turn out for the best for the theater and the two employees.
 

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Posted by Randy Stankey (Member # 64) on 11-02-2004, 10:36 PM:
 
"Don't eat where you shit."

Aside from all the interpersonal bullshit that arises when employess date one another, there is another problem that can come up, even between people who aren't dating or having sex but who are simply "good friends".

Two people start out on the same level but one of them gets promoted. Now you have the situation where it's one person's job to tell the other one what to do. The higher up will find him/herself in a sticky double-bind:

1) The friend says, "Hey! We're buddies! You can't make me do that!"

2) Other people say, "Hey! Why don't you give US the same slack you give your buddy!?"

It's a very tough position to be in when you have to decide between your friendship and your job! The best way to avoid it is to stay away from situations where you have to decide.

Of course, there's an exception to every rule. However, I would take those exceptions as very rare special cases which should be dealt with on an individual basis.

Long story short: Don't date people you work with.
 

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Posted by Edward Jurich (Member # 1787) on 11-02-2004, 11:34 PM:
 

quote: Brad Miller

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Now where's your member picture?

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Gee, I sent in my updated picture twice and it's yet to replace my old, old one....
 

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Posted by Steve Kraus (Member # 476) on 11-03-2004, 12:20 AM:
 
Per the handy dandy Age of Consent Chart Vermont's is 16. (It seems to come up often enough on F-T that maybe it should be in the links list! ) Only a handful of states have it at 18. Most are 16; some 17.
 

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Posted by Daryl C. W. O'Shea (Member # 1303) on 11-03-2004, 12:21 AM:
 
Handy dandy! Don't leave home without it.
 

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Posted by Steve Kraus (Member # 476) on 11-03-2004, 12:22 AM:
 
Or plan your travel accordingly. J/K
 

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Posted by Jarrod Cocker (Member # 2773) on 11-03-2004, 04:26 AM:
 
For the record- i'm all for it.

I am still currently dating my 19yr gf - we've been together for 2 years next tuesday.

And yes, we meet through work - she was a newbie cnady bar chick, and i was the projectionist.

Hell, when i was showing her around bio (oh sorry, 'the booth') she was listing to one particular film, and instead of turning down the speaker volume when she was done, (for the speaker in projection) she turned down the volume in the cinema... For 10 minutes... and about 25 comps!

Ahh, love, isn't it sweet!

oh, and by they way - im only 18, so its not at all wierd that im dating a 19 year old~~~ Just incase anyway was staring to think maybe im a bit of a creap!


 

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Posted by Steve Kraus (Member # 476) on 11-03-2004, 08:23 AM:
 
No, we think it's nice you're willing to date the elderly.

quote: Jarrod Cocker

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she turned down the volume in the cinema

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Of course you administered punishment...later...while alone.

(Yes, I'm trying to see how many self reputation destroying quips I can put into one thread. )
 

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Posted by Daryl C. W. O'Shea (Member # 1303) on 11-03-2004, 07:15 PM:
 
There's more than one use for a make-up table you know!
 

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Posted by Steve Kraus (Member # 476) on 11-03-2004, 10:03 PM:
 
Well good because most of them aren't very good at their stated purpose. A little more workspace would do wonders for both functions.
 

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Posted by Tom Simcoe (Member # 2799) on 11-08-2004, 03:24 AM:
 
I think it's perfectly fine to date people you work with, there is this one girl at the theater who works down stairs and concession and tickets and I've liked her for a long time. Knowing nothing will happen, I do keep my distance from screwing with the buisness relationship. But at the same time, we talk alot between shows and I have alot of fun doing that. What's wrong with having a comfortable workplace?
 

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Posted by Chris Medley (Member # 2145) on 11-08-2004, 06:36 AM:
 
It's not the comfortable workplace that is the problem, as long as everyone remains professional, it's the fallout after the breakup that causes the problems...and no matter how much you think you two will be together forever, odds are you will break up and it will be messy. I have seen it almost tear a whole staff apart because of people taking sides and it effects the way you have to run a business. When it gets to that level you also have to worry about your managers looking to just get rid of the problem, which is perfectly legal because it is often stated in many theater guidelines that dating is discouraged...you could both end up without a job, along with some of your compatriots.
 

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Posted by Chris Brown (Member # 2800) on 11-08-2004, 10:58 PM:
 
In my time I've seen good and bad things happen with this. On the good side, my best friend met his girlfriend of 2 and a half years at Regal. He doesnt work there anymore, but while they were both on staff they were able to not let their relationship be a problem while at work. That's the ideal way to do it.

But on the other hand, there are a few couples there now who can't keep their personal relationships separate. They always ask to go on break together, be scheduled together, etc. And unfortunately they are buddy-buddy with some of the other managers so they typically get their wish. Its pretty ridiculous sometimes.

So basically I think between equal staff members its OK, if they are able to handle it with maturity. I dont think its a good idea between supervisory people and staff though...only leads to problems. I had a weird situation a few years ago where I really liked this girl on the staff and was pretty good friends with her outside work...but of course being a manager I couldnt do anything about it. But it was hard, if an issue came up or she was doing something wrong, I was in a weird position. Thankfully nothing came of it and its OK now...but its not something I'd like to deal with again.
 

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Posted by Wayne Keyser (Member # 2420) on 11-08-2004, 11:32 PM:
 
In response to the "age difference" posts a few items back:

I married at 37 to a lovely 27-year-old. I always tease her that she is perfect for me - in fact, when I was just out of college at 21, I was looking for someone just like her - and at the time she was 11.

I usually get the "dirty old man!" look and a punch in the shoulder - but we've been married 18 years now.
 

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Posted by Brad Allen (Member # 470) on 11-09-2004, 11:28 AM:
 
That's differant, she wasn't jail bait at the time.
 

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Posted by Barry Martin (Member # 1376) on 11-09-2004, 03:36 PM:
 
Wayne, my point is the same as Brad's. He is a lot older and in a position to take advantage of a very young girl whereas you and your wife were both adults for quite a while before you married. Granted, it's legal that they're and who knows, maybe they'll be married and live happily ever after! But in the meantime it just seems like a bad situation. Even then, I don't care if they date outside of work, I just don't want to walk in on any more public displays or worse.
 

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Posted by Anslem Rayburn (Member # 1267) on 11-10-2004, 05:49 AM:
 
We have had 3 couples that met at work. All three couples have managed to remain professional at work. Two are managers (with younger people), the other is key-staff (long time employee) and a newbee. They understand that they cannot always get time off together, and that they must act professional at work. We make sure they are told of these two points, and they have no problem with it. We have yet to receive a complaint from co-workers that someone is being treated differently, and we have seen nothing that would suggest it.

I actually respect them more for their effort, and applaud their mature attitudes.

If there relationships made things awkward or 'weird', then we would talk to them further. I think if they are mature enough to understand the dynamics of a work atmosphere, then let them do their thing.
 

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Posted by Chris Medley (Member # 2145) on 11-10-2004, 06:39 AM:
 
Wayne...I hope you made an error..but if you two had been married "18" years and she is now "27" she would have been (9) years old when you two were married and you would have been (19) years old.
 

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Posted by Randy Stankey (Member # 64) on 11-10-2004, 07:59 AM:
 
No.

He met her when he was 21 and she was 11.
They got married when he was 37 and she was 27.
18 years later, he is 55 and she is 45.
 

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Posted by Wayne Keyser (Member # 2420) on 11-10-2004, 09:18 PM:
 
No, I met her when I was 37 and she was 27 - we married within 6 months, and that was 18 years ago.

I TEASE her about the "21 - 11" thing ... when I was 21 I was having disastrous relationships with 21-year-olds just like everyone else. The only real "I met her when she was in grade school and I was middle-aged" thing I've heard about is Celine Dion and her hubby.

Hey, folks - I didn't mean to start a whole thing about it, I was just throwing in a comment for humor's sake!
 

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Posted by Jennifer Pan (Member # 2035) on 11-13-2004, 11:48 PM:
 
There can be a matter where co-workers are not necessarily dating but alot of them just mess around. There's the common "I've made out with so and so" or the "I've kissed this many people at work" and so forth. It's like a supermarket sometimes. Shop until you don't work there anymore.
 

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Posted by Jason Black (Member # 684) on 11-13-2004, 11:55 PM:
 
Nice Philosphy...
 

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Posted by Jennifer Pan (Member # 2035) on 11-14-2004, 12:07 AM:
 
There's only so many different types of meat out there in the frozen meat section. Forget checking out in the express line. "20 items or less... come on ..." or how about going by every food taster booth and trying it out. Maybe more than once...
 

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Posted by Richard Greco (Member # 2032) on 11-14-2004, 12:16 AM:
 
I am the best type of meat around....rump roast

Seriously though, when I was at the theater, there were many girls I wanted to mess around with, but didn't because they all were under 18. At my place now, there is this one 21 y/o that is kinda cute, but is the boss's son's fiance, so we can only be just friends.
 

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Posted by Jason Black (Member # 684) on 11-14-2004, 10:10 AM:
 
Look guys, a word to the wise, ESPECIALLY in todays litigious society, you far better off not "getting you honey where you get your money" ...

Maybe I look at it differently due to my age and experiences in this (and other) business'.
 

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Posted by Steve Kraus (Member # 476) on 11-14-2004, 10:10 AM:
 
Ah but she's not married yet and alls fair in love and war.

Jen: I hope you had coupons or there was a sale!


Try to get yourself a bargain, girl
Don't be sold on the very first one
Good-looking guys come a dime a dozen
Try to find you one who's gonna give you true loving

Before you take a man and say I do now
Make sure he's in love with you now
Make sure that his love is true now
I hate to see you feeling sad and blue now
My mama told me
You better shop around

 

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Posted by Gordon McLeod (Member # 33) on 11-14-2004, 10:56 AM:
 
Jen said" There's only so many different types of meat out there in the frozen meat section"
hmm frozen, it may be hard and stiff but very cold you should go to the fresh department just make sure it is fda approved
 

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Posted by Steve Kraus (Member # 476) on 11-14-2004, 02:11 PM:
 
No doubt frozen meat referred to the Canadian contingent.
 

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Posted by Gordon McLeod (Member # 33) on 11-14-2004, 02:25 PM:
 
No just i understood it was only a old coot requirement to freeze it to keep it stif
 

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Posted by Jennifer Pan (Member # 2035) on 11-14-2004, 02:34 PM:
 
Boys, Boys... What gives you any idea I shop around? I was speaking in the general sense. I hear about it all the time where I used to work. I was the off limits chick at my theater, they would wonder if I even knew how to smile. The uniform didn't do a thing for me, I'm glad for that.
 

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Posted by Jason Black (Member # 684) on 11-14-2004, 07:52 PM:
 
Steve,

You're right.. all IS fair in love and war..

Just don't get killed in battle...

No harzardous duty pay in love and war... no medals.. no honorable discharge... none of that stuff.. It's win or lose..

BTW:
Women in uniform are HOTTTTT!
 

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Posted by Bobby Henderson (Member # 840) on 11-14-2004, 09:18 PM:
 
I've got a thing for women in business attire. I'd ride the Staten Island Ferry to Manhattan and art school in the morning. The sight of those leggy Wall Street ladies were one of the few things that could wake me up in the morning.
 

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Posted by Steve Kraus (Member # 476) on 11-14-2004, 09:36 PM:
 
Except for the white pantyhose. I realize that's often a part of the power suit ensemble so I don't blame anyone for wearing it but it's not very flattering. Bare is best.

Jason, I don't think anyone wants to know about your discharges.
 

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