Film-Tech Forum ARCHIVE: Has working in theaters cost you your marriage?

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Posted by Aaron Mehocic (Member # 15) on 12-08-2004, 02:34 PM:

I've been thinking about this one for some time . . .

Once again as we near the holliday season posts regarding employee work schedules or peoples' views on which holliday is more sacred are poping up. My question is regarding the business practice of being open 365 days per year and its affect on family life.

Has anyone - male or female - experienced a divorice over the workload theatre personell carry and the crappy hours we work (particularly hollidays and weekends). For the record I'm not married nor have I ever been through a divorice, BUT I do believe this is a serious enough question for colleagues to discuss, and, suprisingly, in a search of the archives, this has never been brought up.

Moreover, has anyone sacrificed a long-term relationship or parental custody because of what you did for a living. Free movies are great when you are 18 and going out as often as you can, but by 25 most people are looking to settle down and raise a few kids.

Lastly, does one ever recover. As a middle-aged projectionist locked away in a booth for twelve hours a day, your chance of meeting somebody is pretty slim, and lets face it - you don't want to be caught with your pants down behind #8's sound rack with the new 16 year old concessionist. Anyone ever been through this or want to talk about it? (The divorice, that is).

Posted by Christopher Duvall (Member # 284) on 12-08-2004, 04:32 PM:

My wife, kids and I are very happy, however it does get stressful around the holidays. I have learned to get around it somewhat. We have moved our Thanksgiving to Wednesdays since I always have to work Thursdays. I always take off Christmas Eve and work the night shift on Christmas Day. I always take my vacation the week of my wedding anniversay.

The worst time however is the weeks leading up to and including ShoWest. I put in and inordinate amount of time which is trying on the kids and wife. They see very little of me during then. Travel from time to time isn't good either. THe beginning of October, I was in Hawaii training one of the Signature theatres that was aquired for 2 weeks. Very stressful.

I make sure I make time to spend the kids whenever I can and make sure my wife gets time as well. It is very hard work juggling an awkward job schedule and family life but is is very worth it when it works out. You just have to be persistant.

Posted by Jeremy Fuentes (Member # 2135) on 12-08-2004, 08:20 PM:

Well, my wife works at another theater, so you can imagine how often we see each other. But we're being persistant until she finishes school, and I start making better money in this business. I have another job during the day, so my time with her and the kids, is limited. Hopefully it'll pay off.

Posted by Paul Rosenberry (Member # 2870) on 12-08-2004, 08:53 PM:

It's easy to see where the job can make it hard to find someone to marry in the first place.

I've seen families where it's an advantage though. Working opposite shifts can save a lot of money on childcare and give more time with the kids.

Posted by Barry Martin (Member # 1376) on 12-09-2004, 12:25 AM:

It's a bit rough, but not impossible. For Thanksgiving this year I threaded up the Wednesday night show for the owners who ran our twin for a while before hiring me and they just started it. This way I could go down to Massachusetts to visit family Thursday morning and have dinner in the afternoon like we usually do, around 4pm we left to get back to Vermont (3 hour drive) for the 7pm show. Made it just in time, I had actually wanted to leave by 3pm, but stuff happened. For Christmas the owners want me to have it off so I am threading the Friday night show in the afternoon, going to Massachusetts and my relief projectionist will hopefully be working Saturday night so I can stay down until Sunday night.

I have to credit my owners for their desire to see me have these days off, I didn't even ask for them. They are Jewish, so that helps with the "christian" holidays. It's even more helpful that they don't do much celebrating in regards to their faith so they really don't mind covering for me. As far as I'm concerned, there are no "holidays" which I require off (even worked my birthday tonight!) because my wife and I aren't religious, at least we don't belong to any one faith per se. I'm fairly certain that when I need a day off, no matter what day, I can get it off thanks to the generosity of the owners I work for. I am only accepting their Christmas offer so my daughters, wife, and I can go to Mass. and visit family/friends.

One downside to our schedule is that my oldest daughter (2 and 1/2) insists on waiting for me to come home to tuck her in, anywhere from 9:30pm to 11:00pm. And the youngest (1 year) won't go to bed while the eldest is awake. [Roll Eyes]

Keeps my wife busy, but I'm not too upset by it because it's fun to tuck her in and talk about our days.

As for meeting people, I can't really say anything about that. I did meet my first girlfriend at the theater I was working at, but I met my wife while at my second job and shortly after she came to work with me at the theater so we could see more of eachother. So you could say that working at a theater didn't hurt my meeting prospective love interests, but it doesn't seem to have affected it one way or another.

Posted by R. Andrew Diercks (Member # 1725) on 12-09-2004, 01:53 PM:

Barry, I can relate to the waiting til dad's home for bedtime. I have one in school now and he was tough to break of that and now has to be in bed by 9:00.

My wife and I are happy but she does get a bit stressed during holidays. I always take Dec 23rd and Christmas eve off as well as Super Bowl sunday. My hours save us a ton of money on daycare since my wife is off between 3:30 and 4:00. Our kids only go half days on Tues. Thurs and Friday.

Posted by Tim Reed (Member # 137) on 12-12-2004, 12:21 PM:

No, but some guy I didn't know, sleeping in my bedroom when I came home from the drive-in one night, did.

Posted by Steve Kraus (Member # 476) on 12-12-2004, 04:53 PM:

I'd wager far more marriages have resulted from people meeting on the job at theatres (as with any job) than failed because of them.

Posted by Jason Black (Member # 684) on 12-12-2004, 11:09 PM:

Tim,

Wasn't my wife.. but a girl I was dating just prior to my wife was in my room mates room pulling her panties up when I walked in the front door and by the open bedroom door unplanned....

He moved out two days later... and she begged and begged.... I won't say in an open forum what I did to her... and it didn't involve violence.. just revenge.... [evil]

Posted by Phil Blake (Member # 2012) on 12-14-2004, 08:44 AM:

Does this mean that Steve only employes "Baywatch" babes ? [Wink]

Posted by Tim Reed (Member # 137) on 12-16-2004, 09:03 PM:

Jason, that's a bummer. I hear ya.

Posted by Jason Black (Member # 684) on 12-16-2004, 10:06 PM:

Tim,

Worse things have happened... and it all worked out for the best anyway.. [Smile]

Posted by Rachel Gilardi (Member # 1016) on 12-16-2004, 11:11 PM:

I went through a divorce while working as a manager in a theater, my ex-husband also worked as a manager in a theater. Yes, it added to the stress in our marriage but was not the reason we split. We're still good friends and when I go home and visit family and friends, I still get free movies. [Big Grin]

Posted by Dick Vaughan (Member # 540) on 12-17-2004, 02:40 AM:

But does he get a free makeover too?

Posted by Rachel Gilardi (Member # 1016) on 12-17-2004, 11:22 AM:

If he wants. [Smile]

He does get free haircuts, along with basically everyone else I know. At least I'm still good for something! [thumbsup]

Posted by Don Sneed (Member # 955) on 01-07-2005, 08:22 PM:

Being a married projectionist for 8-yrs didn't break up the marriage, being a full time tech, well that changed things... traveling about 1,500 miles a week & gone weeks at a time on installs, only home a couple of days, always on the phone when I am at home....that killed the marriage....Got a great new wife now, understands my work, Gotta Love Your Job !!!

Posted by Don Cross (Member # 2980) on 01-30-2005, 12:57 AM:

My financial foundation is rather solid. Yet, even if I had a career that excelled at paying well over 100k per year; I'd still have the following philosophy.

Jobs are easy to replace- friends and family aren't.