This is topic Stagehands in forum Bob Maar's Joke-A-Thon at Film-Tech Forum ARCHIVE.
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Posted by Matt Rockwell (Member # 815) on 07-11-2001, 10:24 PM:
ElectriciansWhy do they make lighting truss out of aluminum?
So it doesn't rust before the electricians get it in the air!
Posted by Matt Rockwell (Member # 815) on 07-11-2001, 10:27 PM:
Roadies Signs you have been on the road too long:
1. You think sleeping in the console lid is comfortable
2. You never use the living room anymore cause the acoustics suck
3. Your welcome mat is gaffed down
4. You made a tape of the tour bus engine to play at night when you sleep
5. All your furniture has wheels
6. You have re-wired your whole house to use Hubbell Twist-lok plugs
7. You are home for a week before you stop dialling 9 for an outside line
8. Somebody gives you the thumbs up in the street, and you look for the monitor desk to turn up the mix
9. You lose interest in groupies
10. Your clothing no longer resides in a dresser, but rather a duffle bag
11. You have actually installed a 3 phase service in your house so that lighting and audio are on separate legs to eliminate hum and buzz
12. Your favourite incense smells like rosin core solder
13. When you are at home, you ask your parents what is the per-diem per day
14. Everything you own has your name on it and is stencilled "FOH" with krylon
15. Your home stairs are replaced with a ramp to facilitate EASY load in
16. Your kids entire wardrobe consists of your old road shirts.
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Matt Rockwell
xenon wrangler / carbon master
IA #251
Posted by Paul Mayer (Member # 355) on 04-13-2002, 11:52 PM:
Rated G
Q: How tall is a stagehand?
A: I don't know; I've never seen one standing up.
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Some university researchers were studying personality types that enter into various occupations. By random selection, the first three occupations to be surveyed were Doctors, Engineers, and Stagehands. The candidates were selected.
First up was the Doctor, who was led into the testing room. In the room was a small table atop of which sat three marble-sized steel balls. The researchers left the doctor alone in the room for ten minutes.
Upon their return, the researchers observed that the three steel balls had been sterilized--they were perfectly clean as though ready for some surgical procedure. The researchers noted the result and sent the Doctor on his way.
Next, the Engineer was put into the room for ten minutes. Upon their return the researchers noted that the three steel balls were now perfectly stacked one above the other in a vertical array. The researchers noted this result and sent the Engineer on his way.
Then the Stagehand was left in the room for his ten minutes. Upon their return the researchers noted the following:
