Film-Tech Forum ARCHIVE: RUNNING THREAD-The history of Film-Tech

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Posted by Brad Miller (Member # 2) on 08-11-2000, 01:16 AM:

Anyone familiar with the running thread idea? Someone starts a thread and stops mid-sentence. The next person picks up in mid-sentence where the first post left off and runs another sentence or two and stops in mid-sentence. The idea is to leave your current additions's direction wide open for the next guy. After awhile, these can get pretty funny as they drift farther and farther from reality. I'll even be a sport and start this one off with me as the subject for all to have a field day with. Have fun.

A long time ago, in a galaxy far, far away...okay so it was in this galaxy and almost 2 years ago, there was a guy by the name of Brad Miller who was bored one day and was wondering "how do people make web sites?" He flipped open his laptop and connected to his crappy AOL service and did a search for...

Posted by Russ Kress (Member # 461) on 08-11-2000, 03:08 AM:

...and did a search for...

THE SWEDISH BIKINI TEAM!!!!

After realizing that the gals only liked people who didn't drive Chevrolet products, he wisely refined his search to film exhibition issues.

He designed a sight where film types could get together and bitch at each other to the point where they all realized that they were after the same end result.

The people who manufactured the film stock got to talk with the people who trashed (um, projected) it everyday.

The people who had sound systems issues got to talk with the people who actually built them.

Even more than that, new guys got to talk to folks who had been showing movies for years. They learned a lot.

Most importantly (political correctness) we learned that nine out of ten Americans prefer the Nintendo 64 over the Play Station!

Brad looked upon creation and said "This is good".

But he still wasn't happy, so he..........

Posted by Dustin Mitchell (Member # 372) on 08-11-2000, 03:11 AM:

...searched for "Large-Breasted Midgets with Donkeys." He found several sites and entertained himself for the rest of the day. When his bottle of 'Film' lubricant ran out, he went to bed. The next day he did a search on creating web sites. He found...

Posted by Dwayne Caldwell (Member # 417) on 08-11-2000, 04:17 AM:

... though that the lubricant caused a terrible rash in his joy department, and spent the remainer of the day doing medical research on the net to find a cure or relief for his ailment. So the search for creating a website would have to wait. He stumbled upon a site dedicated to creating the ultimate motion lotion and, being the evil bastard he was, decided to contribute some, though not all, of the components of his film preservation fluid to the site in the hopes of spreading his discomfort to all the computer perverts out there who, ironically, happened to be film buff technicians who were stuck in their isolated habitats with nothing else to do. Word caught on quick and a lone projectionist changeover master by the name of Steve Guttag was the first hapless film "handler" to experiment with this newest attempt at the ultimate pleasure lube. He was horrified to discover that...

Posted by John Wilson (Member # 269) on 08-11-2000, 04:50 AM:

this made manual changeovers obsolete! He simply could not believe it. A simple rub rub rub of the mighty ointment turned his second machine into a sparkling new Kinoton platter. No amount of fluid removal ointment could bring back his prescious second machine. What had he done? What would become of poor Steve? What's more...he found that (apart from making him an instant hit with the chicks due to the ointment's musky-man-scent fragrance) it also removed any evidence of changeover cues!

This could not be happening! A quick further search using the www.ineedtodoachangeoverrealbad.com search tool found that any evidence of either of the words 'change' or 'over' had been removed from the search results!

Believing this could only be the work of the crafty-evil-doing-John-Boy-Wilson and his croneys he immediately leapt onto the platter and with a mighty tug...

Posted by Dwayne Caldwell (Member # 417) on 08-13-2000, 02:52 AM:

...he ripped the brain out of it's socket and threw it across the booth smashing it to pieces yelling "N O O O O O O O O ! ! ! !" It was at that point he realized his job at the single screen theatre was being replaced with a machine.

Not willing to allow this to happen, Steve called Gordon on the phone and...

Posted by Paul Cunningham (Member # 501) on 08-14-2000, 08:14 AM:

....arranged for him to manufacture a device which emitted a stealthy signal that sent all platters within 100 metres out of control. After successfully installing this in the back of a cupboard in his booth and reversing his redundancy, Steve went by the local 30 plex and left one there too. Hoping to show his prowess as a changeover man he approached the head projectionist and.....

Posted by John Pytlak (Member # 331) on 08-14-2000, 10:02 AM:

...offered to participate in a DUEL (aka "Death Match") between 70mm Todd-AO changeovers made on DUAL Norelco DP-70 machines, with a spliced Techniscope feature on a Christie AW-2 platter and Holmes projector. Little did he know that his adversary had just spent a fortune installing a Texas Instruments...

Posted by Evans A Criswell (Member # 381) on 08-14-2000, 08:28 PM:

...digital projection system in an auditorium with a 60 foot screen. The nine-sixteenths-of-an-inch-wide pixels made the feature look like a 1980s video game. Even the Techniscope feature would had more resolution than the digital system. The manager sadly declined the duel, since he didn't have the ability to project 70mm, since modern multiplexes can only project regular 35mm, but little did Steve know that the manager was about to launch his primary weapon against him! He said, "You don't know that my complex has an IMAX theatre upstairs, do you?", and with an evil laugh,led Steve upstairs. .....

Posted by Ethan Harper (Member # 472) on 08-15-2000, 06:44 PM:

Into the dark pitch black booth where then all of the sudden BAM! KERPLUNK! DOINK! (Batman Style action) knocks Steve out unconcious with an 35ss Neumade Splicer. 2 Days later Steve is to awake tied down to one of the Gigantic IMAX platters Only to see the face of Brad hovering over talking to the manager. Steve can only slightly over hear what they are saying;

"Do you have the device I requested?" Asked Brad.
"Yes we do, It took pulling some strings but here it is"*evil mad scientist laughter*
"Very well then we shall commense....You should of agreed with me earlier Steve! I was right all along. With this device everyone in the world will finally know that platters are superior and will soon rule the world and then dominate all booths in the world! No more Changeovers as this plan will destroy them all! *evil laughter* Then, with this device I will automate all platters to obey me and everything that I say and command. Then soon I will rule over the world. *more evil mad scientist laughter* and all you can do is lie there and watch as platters will begin to dominate. Then when I am finished you sir, shall be destroyed *suspenseful music*
"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!! You will be stopped! Cried Steve.
"How?" Brad Questioned.
"I dont know?" Replied Steve.

The Igor looking manager begins to laugh as well. "well done master" as his hump in his back moves around to different locations via Young Frankenstein. Together Brad and the Igor like manager drink to a toast of film-guard and then as he pushes the green start button.......

------------------
--"That's my story and i'm sticking to it!"--

Posted by Michael McGillion (Member # 493) on 08-15-2000, 08:42 PM:

...he hears the fail-safes on another projector drop.
"Oh, shit, hang on a tic" Brad issued his suave statement with the flair only an evil projectionist can eminate. He switched off the platter Steve was strapped to. "I'll be back for yooooou!!!!!" he cried as he ran to the other projector.

With Brad out of the picture, Steve put his devilish plan into action. The movement of the platter in that short time had been enough to generate a giant charge of static electricity in Steve. As Steve uttered a bad one-liner appropriate for a senseless action scene such as this, he pointed his finger at Igor and ZAP (more batman noises) - Igor was thrown against the wall. Steve knew that because of the Film Guard his enemies had consumed his static trick would not work for much longer, so he dropped a copy of The Beatles' "Help" into the non-sync CD player, and looked desperately around the booth to find something to destroy the Platter-o-matic, when suddenly...

Posted by Russ Kress (Member # 461) on 08-15-2000, 11:50 PM:

...who should enter the booth?

It was Ringo Starr!!

"Hello mate! Me chums and I are a bit lost and need directions. Say there, why are you duct taped to that spinning thingie?"...

Posted by Rory Burke (Member # 512) on 08-16-2000, 03:18 PM:

Brad replied...." I'm in training him for the next CBS surviror series show. Its 20 people locked into a deserted projection booth with nothing but......

Posted by Brad Miller (Member # 2) on 08-16-2000, 03:42 PM:

...bad Moviephone ads to entertain themselves with and only platters to transport the film", as he lets out an evil laugh.

Just at that moment, the Super Kodak man John Pytlak comes crashing through the ceiling, (Batman style) and falls on...

Posted by Dwayne Caldwell (Member # 417) on 08-16-2000, 07:02 PM:

... top of Ringo Starr's head killing him instantly! The mighty Pytlak's jaw drops. "My god! What have I done!?" Brad merely shrugs as he goes for the switch. John reverts back into superhero mode arms akimbo as he warns Brad, "Don't even think about it!"

"But I must! Guttag must pay for his narrow-mindedness! And pay he shall at the hands of the very thing he hates most!" Then Steve shouts, "Look out!" But John turns around right as Igor, now having recovered from the static electrical shock, strikes John in the face with a flourescent bulb detonating glass all around him and blinding our superhero! John stumbles amidst the bulb remnants hands at his eyes.

Brad smiles his infamous shit eating grin and turns to Steve. "I hope you haven't grown too attached to your limbs, Steven. Oh well. It's been REEL!" Brad laughs his diabolical laugh and reaches for the START button. His finger just inches away. "So long King if the Cues." He depresses the button! But at that exact moment the power to the entire booth shuts down! When only the light fixtures are powered back up, we see standing at the breaker box none other than...

Posted by Russ Kress (Member # 461) on 08-17-2000, 12:19 AM:

JIMMY STEWART!!!!!

*Start accent*

"Now in my day, ol' Charlie would shuffle those gosh darn reels all day long!"

(I know this is a stretch, picture Dana Carvey doing it)

"He never complained! He was saving up to get his loving wife of 57 years that boob job she always wanted!"

...Brad stood and listened to Jimmy. He looked at the wounded Steve and John and wondered to himself...

"My God, what have I done?"

It was in that moment that Steve, using the last of his strength, reached out with one hand and was able to grasp the..........

Posted by John Wilson (Member # 269) on 08-18-2000, 03:39 AM:

...cue scribing device. With lightening reflexes, he removed the scriber and triggered a small switch on the side. Immediately a blue glow came from the end of the scriber and Brad laughed in his crafty evil-doing way as he realized what Steve had in his hand...a Jedi Master Film Handler Light Saber!

"So..." said Brad calmly, "We meet again Stevie-Wan... It was wise of you to conceal your true identity from me." With this, Brad himself double somersaulted to the make-up bench and motioned to a beat up old Technicolor film can (is there any other kind?) Instantly the can flipped open and a bottle of Whiskey flew into Brad's hand. "Damn! er...How did that get in there" said Brad and tried again. This time a bottle of Film-Guard came from the trunk and landed in Brad's grasp. With one swift movement he ignited his Film-Guard Saber and a red glow emitted from the end of the bottle.

(Breathing asmatically)
"So it appears the hand is now on the other foot" Brad said. This was enough to completely confuse Steve (and for that matter, Jimmy Stewart as well) long enough for Brad to move into position. "When I started out projecting and doing changeovers I was but the learner, now I am the Film-Tech Master".

"You will never make me change to the dark side of platter operating" said Steve. "I'd sooner...

Posted by Dwayne Caldwell (Member # 417) on 08-18-2000, 06:19 AM:

... advocate DLP than run film using platters! I'll NEVER join you!" "If you only knew the convenience of the dark side," Brad says. Pytlak is still trying to fight the glass in his eyes while everyone else is entranced as the two figures fight to the death. Brad performs a triple back filp onto a soundrack. "Your powers are weak old man."

Then the booth door opens up and the wacky lovable Jar Jar Binks enters. "Messa wanna watch movie! I'ssa all ready finish me popcorn!" "Oh what the fuck is that!?," a bewildered Jimmy Stewart asks. "A dead gungan," Brad states and with that, he sails through the air at lightening speed lopping Jar Jar's head clean off. The decapitated head plops to the floor and with his final words states the obvious. "Messa gonna die..." and all twenty feet of his tongue roll out. Everyone in the booth begins to clap in approval.

"NO MORE INTERRUPTIONS! IT IS TIME FOR YOU TO DIE GUTTAG!" Brad performs his gravity defying acrobatics as he sails toward Guttag, and their blades lock! Brad begins to push both lightsabers into Guttag's face. Sweat rolls down the changeover artist's face as the blade bears down on him. His own saber is only (ironically) thirty-five millimeters away. Then Brad pitches backward in agony. Pytlak has shot the evil film lord with his trusty blaster. His eyes are crimson, but that doesn't stop his dead on accuracy. Brad grumbles in pain and escapes by leaping through the hole in the ceiling provided by the Kodak man earlier.

"To the roof," John shouts and all but Jimmy leap with ease through the hole. "I'll just stay here and start the show then right," Stewart asks to the departing heroes. But John leaps back down. "Come Mr. Stewart. We may need your wisdom dispensing comments. On my back." Jimmy reluctantly latches onto John's back and both fly out of the booth and onto the roof. The chase is on as Brad sails from rooftop to rooftop. The others try to close the distance when...

Posted by Ethan Harper (Member # 472) on 08-19-2000, 12:41 PM:

Brad Jumps in his ship and takes off at full light speed. Steve, John, Jimmy Stuart, Dead Ringo Starr(jedi after death style) and igor in hancuffs with yet again the hump in his back moving to various locations.

All of the sudden Steve starts hearing
things. Sounds, voices, words. It was the voice of Brad:

"Steve"
"Brad"Steve questioned.
"Steve"
"Dad? Why didnt you tell me? No it cant be true NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"
"join me"Brad Vader holding out his hand in mid air.
"I will never join you."
"steve"

The rest of the crew lose Brad's location.
"Why that son of a Bitch" exclaimed Jimmy Stuart.
"Hey calm down. Whats for dinner? You know in England we call french fries chips" Exclaimed dead Ringo Starr. The ship flies off and lands in the land of the Ewoks. One of the Ewoks Touches Steve and gets shocked. They then lead Steve to meet with yogurt for training where...

------------------
--"That's my story and i'm sticking to it!"--

Posted by Paul Cunningham (Member # 501) on 08-20-2000, 09:00 AM:

....he sees a white rabbit in the distance, after dreaming earlier that day of being told to follow a white rabbit, what could he do? After the rabbit takes him on a strange journey Steve meets a man who introduces himself as Morpheus and tells him that his real name is Neosteve and he is The One who will save the human race from the enslavement of platters.....

Posted by Dwayne Caldwell (Member # 417) on 08-20-2000, 01:55 PM:

...and automation. As the story unfolds, the Nebuchadnezzar sails into the catacombs of the earth. Ringo is taken into the lab where his deadness can be worked on despite the fact he's saying, "Actually, I'm not quite dead. I think I'm getting better." And Jimmy Stewart is munching on some "tasty wheat" slop while listening to Morpheus. John has just found the Visine when the proximity sensors go off. All head for the bridge where the scanners pick up a huge cargo freighter and two escorts.

"Quick! Power down everything! Mr.Stewart. Kindly extinguish that joint." The entire ship is powered down and they anxiously wait as the small convoy passes. Then one of the escorts menacingly turns in their direction heading for the Nebuchadnezzar. "I thought everything was powered down," asks NeoSteve. "Is anybody carrying anything battery powered they forgot to turn off," Morpheus asks. "Don't look at me. I'm antiquated," Jimmy laughs. NeoSteve and John say they're clean. And then something occurs to John. "Igor!" And with that they all rush for the stockade where Igor is just sitting on the bench playing with a gameboy.

"I thought you guys searched him," an agitated Morpheus asks. "We did," NeoSteve states. "He must have hidden that thing up his--" "Turn off the game, Igor," John shouts. Morpheous fumbles for the keys to the cell when the ship pitches violently throwing everyone off their feet. "We're caught in their tractor beam," Morpheus declares. "I say we kick some fucking ass," Jimmy shouts. John whips out his blaster. "I'm with you Mr. Stewart! I'm not disembarking without a fight!"

"So who's ships are those and where are they taking us?," NeoSteve asks. They all look at NeoSteve then run to the bridge to find out. All are filled with a sense of foreboding when they see the huge subterranean factory complex of Bevan! The ships set down on delivery docking bay ninety-four and the occupants of the Nebuchadnezzar watch as several armed troops head for the captured vessel. The doors to the Nebuchadnezzar part and...

Posted by Michael McGillion (Member # 493) on 08-23-2000, 03:35 AM:

...the crew was escorted to a prison cell made out of giant Bevan-poos.

John looked around in dismay "Dammit, with these Bevan-poos, we're not going anywhere." He looked out of a gap in the 'poos. "And they've even chocked the wheels of the Nebach...Neber...dang, never could pronounce that thing."

All of a sudden the familiar strains of "Movie-Tunes" piped through the ceiling. The crew looked at each other despairingly. "ANYTHING BUT THAT!!!" cried Jimmy, and with that he started to bang his head against the giant wall of Bevan-Poos.
This time the crew looked at each other with a raised eyebrow. Neosteve approached the rabid Jimmy. "Hey Jim, I really don't think that's going to get us anywhere - these Bevan-poos can hold a 747..."
Morpheus interrupted him. "Neosteve, stop. This has to happen. There's a difference between knowing the path, and walking the path..."
"...and banging your head against a wall, Morpheus. How is this helping?"
"Watch and learn."

Jimmy looked up and saw with his glazed eyes something in the distance. "Hey, Harvey!" Igor looked at the others - "who the hell is harvey?" Morpheus glared at him. "He is The One." Neosteve tugged at Morpheus' shirt sleeve and asked in a quiet voice "but I thought I was The One".
"Well, um, he's, err, a different One. Ummm, there's two parts to every One, don't you know."

"Hey Harvey, let us out of here." Jimmy cried. Harvey loped over to the outside of the cage. Jimmy turned to the others "He says that the lock was made by Sony and that the dodgey soldering shouldn't be too hard to break." Sure enough, the lock snapped open and the crew shuffled out of their cell.
John turned to Morpheus. "Where do we go now, oh wise one, and don't give me that bullshit 'there's a difference between knowing the path and walking it' excuse!" Morpheus looked around. "This way." Jimmy said "if it's alright with you fellas I'd like to take harvey for a few drinks." Jimmy wrapped his arm around a big empty space.

Neosteve looked at him. "Suuuuuurrre, ok." The crew started walking towards...

Posted by Russ Kress (Member # 461) on 08-24-2000, 01:23 AM:

...actually, they were lost. They had no clue where they were going!

I must now take the blame for bringing Jimmy Stewart back to life only to release him here! (LOL)

Steve's boss called and complained that he hasn't made a changeover since that damn ship departed!

Film-Tech is sending countless messages as to where the hell Brad went! (Russ, you were the last guy to order Filmguard before he disappeared!!)

Ringo's management (excuse me, the guys at the pub) are screaming bloody murder!

No one has really complained about John. It would seem that Kodak has a rather liberal vacation package *grin*!

Guys, we need real writers!! Everbody cough up a dollar to pay them so we can get this saga back on track!!!(LOL)

Russ

Posted by Brad Miller (Member # 2) on 08-24-2000, 02:16 AM:

...and then suddenly our pal up North, Gordon McLeod comes crashing through the wall (ala Schwarzenegger). He says to Russ, "damn you Russ. You almost ruined our bizarre fun on this thread here with that last post of yours! Where is everyone supposed to go from there? Now I must come save this thread!" And with one mighty punch to the face, Russ' head goes flying off of his body, hitting Ringo square in the chest and both Russ' head and Ringo go crashing through a nearby window and fall to the pavement from the 10 stories up.

Steve, Brad, Jimmy and John turn to Gordon and say...

Posted by Dwayne Caldwell (Member # 417) on 08-24-2000, 04:21 AM:

... their many thanks. But Morpheus is busy inspecting the body of Russ. "We've got a problem," Morpheus tells the group when Russ' arm suddenly shoots forth, his hand grabbing Morpheus' throat. The others rush to help him but the headless body starts to squeeze Morpheus' neck even harder. His windpipe is bound to crack at any moment.

"Stand back everyone," John shouts. They scatter and he whips out his blaster shooting at Russ' body until the hand relinquishes its grip. Morpheus crawls away from the headless spasmatic Russ. Sparks are flying from the neckline. Morpheus is coughing and sputtering as he tries to speak. "We have to (cough, cough) we have to get out of here! He'll go any (cough) minute!"

Everyone hauls ass out of Russ' highrise apartment. Then the tenth floor shakes as Russ' body explodes taking most of his apartment with him. Then our group takes a breather on one of the landings in the building's stairwell. "It's just one fucked up thing after another with you guys, isn't it," Jimmy notes. "So what the hell just happened," Neosteve asks Morpheus. "It would seem our friend Mr. Kress was an android or some kind of cybernetic organism," Gordon replys. "Yes," Morpheus confirms for Gordon. "Specifically designed by the Sony corporation to overtake the exhibition industry. I saw the logo stenciled on a part inside where the human clavicle would be. And there's probably more of them out there. Interspersed among the theatre population."

"Oh shit," NeoSteve exclaims. "We left Ringo's body up there!" "Well I guess we'll just have to bury his head then. After we collect the remains from the concrete below that is," Jimmy chuckles. "And who, I wonder, is going to collect YOUR remains after I've killed all of you," a sinister voice states below the group. They all turn and look down the next set of steps to find...

Posted by Paul Cunningham (Member # 501) on 08-24-2000, 08:50 AM:

.....Percy. "A Ha, you had all forgotten that I was the baddie, trying to kill NeoSteve hadn't you" chuckles Brad. "Well now I have backup, he may not be able to kill a mouse, but Percy is an evil son of a bitch and together we will attain victory for the Dark Side."

With that, Brad extends his hand (ala Spiderman) and 6000 ft of 70mm film flies out completely sealing Jimmy, Neosteve, Gordon, John, Morpheus and Jar Jar's brother Jar Jin in a large cocoon.

Later that day, in Brads underground lair (on his secret island):
Percy is busily spitpolishing the large custom made electric chair,
Neosteve is trying to reach his light sabre which is just out of reach on his belt, Morpheus is cradling a Bevan poo he has managed to keep concealed,
Jimmy is asleep,
Gordon is trying to work out why Sony would actually put their name on a piece of equipment so inferior as a Ringo droid,
John is devising a way to build an AM transmitter to send out a SOS with,
Jar Jin is sending everybody insane,
Brad is .........

Posted by Russ Kress (Member # 461) on 08-26-2000, 12:51 AM:

...Brad is gazing out the doorway whan he notices helicopters touching down and unleashing special forces commandos from the U.S. and Japanese armies. It would seem that Sony has considerable pull in both countries and that they are most decidedly PISSED at the loss of their highly advanced (and incredibly handsome) Russ-droid!

Then someone with a megaphone begins speaking. "You fools! Did you think that your tiny conflict could be contained!?"

"We had plans for Russ! Big Plans!! Breakfast cereals, celebrity appearances, tee-shirts, mall openings...."

"He was going to be bigger than 'Pokemon' for us!!!"

This was followed by a rather obvious attempt to create dis-cord among the people who were holed up together. "Eastman-Kodak financed 90% of his manufacturing costs!"

"You thought that John was dis-appearing because he was answering questions at Film-Tech or just on vacation! FOOLS!!! *evil laughter* He was returning to our laboratories every time he noticed a subtle flaw in Russ' behavior that might risk detection!"

"Remember that facial tic? Or what about the time that Russ had to go to the bathroom every 21 minutes on the dot?"

"We overlooked the fact that he might actually develop the ability to realise that he was trapped in a B grade movie!"

The forces drew nearer, almost completing their encircling maneuver, when Brad saw a weakness in their approach.

He grabbed a roll of splicing tape and Jimmy's half eaten cheese sandwich and...

Posted by Brad Miller (Member # 2) on 08-26-2000, 02:41 AM:

...that mini gun from Terminator 2. He said to Gordon, "you can have the rest of this sandwich if you shoot that helicopter out of the air while I continue on with my evil plan."

And with that, Gordon took the mini gun in one hand and the sandwich in the other and gunned the helicopter down while eating the sandwich.

(Applause from audience)

Brad then took the roll of splicing tape and...

Posted by Gordon McLeod (Member # 33) on 08-26-2000, 07:21 PM:

proceeded to start to make up the print of this movie on a cfs platter. As the film goes flying off it steve graps it with a pair of split reels clamping it togather and slaps it on his beloved second pk60 kinotone and does the changeover. Brad gasping for breath screams why did it have to be a stupid platter not my AW3. (brad Sobs) In the mean time Oscar has arrived to upgrade the sound which everyone agreed was a smart idea as the SDDS system had melted and fused with the HPS4000 into a blob of unusable bevan poo. Meanwhile steve has noticed that his pk60 has developed a sinister jump...

Posted by Russ Kress (Member # 461) on 08-27-2000, 06:06 PM:

We interrupt this programming to say one thing...

The mental picture of Jimmy Stewart saying "It's just one fucked up thing after another with you guys, isn't it!" will most likely keep me laughing for the rest of my life!

Russ

Posted by John Pytlak (Member # 331) on 08-29-2000, 01:52 PM:

...as measured by Brad's copy of SMPTE 35-PA film (aka RP 40)with the shifty framelines. Seeing that Steve's tension can't cure the unsteadiness (a Cardinal sin), John transmits a CAP-Coded SOS to Kinoton dealer BL&S (Bacon, Lettuce, and Sound Inc.) using his home brew AM drive-in radio transmitter. Big Larry returns the message, Chapin at the bit, and Johnny the G-Man quickly loads the emergency supplies from Munich on a shuttle transport at Logan Airport. As the parachute drop to Steve and his mangled and motley crew slowly drifts to the ground...

------------------
John P. Pytlak, Senior Technical Specialist
Worldwide Technical Services, Entertainment Imaging
Eastman Kodak Company
Research Labs, Building 69, Room 7419
Rochester, New York, 14650-1922 USA
Tel: 716-477-5325 Fax: 716-722-7243
E-Mail: john.pytlak@kodak.com

Posted by Gordon McLeod (Member # 33) on 08-30-2000, 08:48 AM:

At which point Mr Kodak reveals the scandal of it all the PK 60 was actually part of a sinister Bevean plot it was a Christie that had been morphed to look like a Kinoton. As the morphing wore off all stood in shock as the beutiful german craftsmanship disolved into a sea of Blue metal.The evil Brad sensing that a corporate conspiracy was trying to out evil him...

Posted by Matthew Bailey (Member # 601) on 09-08-2000, 01:16 PM:

...goes over to the automation controller
and tries to nuke the entire U.S.
into oblivion to no avail. He hears
a bunch of Native American Indians
yelling war cries and goes to the
theatre window and sees thirteen
Native American Indian warriors armed with
thirteen Simplex projectors each
with tank gun barrels mounted in place
of the lenses all pointed directly at him...

Posted by Russ Kress (Member # 461) on 09-30-2000, 12:39 AM:

WELL!!? What happened next!!!?

I just thought I'd return this thread to the top of "Film Yak" so folks could see it again.

I think it should be removed from film yak and made a dedicated forum!

(My character was just beginning to bloom!)

Russ

(I'm ready for my close up...)

Posted by Paul Cunningham (Member # 501) on 09-30-2000, 07:40 AM:

Just to keep Russ happy.

.....as we cut to another scene we see small pieces of the Russ droid melting down into a silver liquid and slowly all flowing together. Before we know it Russ is whole again and bent on revenge, he approaches Steve and says "Todd AO film stock will only last 35 years before desintegrating, your time is running out." Steve starts shaking uncontrollably, almost like the picture from a shakemecannica. Mr Kodak interrupts by saying "Well according to SMPTE standard..."

He is suddenly cut off by Brad who jumps out from behind the Kinoton/Christie with a Film Guard flamethrower pointed directly at the evilness contaminating his booth.

To top things off the rear door opens and Leo walks in with a distinctly pommy voice he starts rambling on "That last print I made up was only 11,673 feet, there was 203 feet missing. Never mind though I have it on good authority that 35mm is dead, the only film for the future is super 8"

..........

Posted by Russ Kress (Member # 461) on 09-30-2000, 07:57 PM:

"Learn to live with the loss!" the Russ-droid croaked. The timber of the voice was distinctly different.

All of the blaster fire had vaporized a large quantity of the shape-able liquid metal that he required to assume his Human form.

Automatic protocols had then selected the highest life form that he could mimic with the available mass at his disposal.

He was still Russ, only one-eighth his former size.

He was "MINI-RUSS" He flipped off everyone in sight and then he paused, as if knowing that the true master was about to reveal himself...

He convulsed violently and threw himself to the floor as the sinister figure appeared...

It was.........

Posted by Ethan Harper (Member # 472) on 10-03-2000, 07:15 PM:

Charleton Heston

Wearing an NRA forever leather Jacket.
"How dare you flip me off you little son of a bitch. Now I will smite thee!!!" Then pulls out a huge rifle from nowhere aims and...

Posted by Dwayne Caldwell (Member # 417) on 10-08-2000, 04:27 AM:

...is interrupted by the appearance of Drew Barrymore. "You know guys. There are better ways to solve the world's problems than using guns. Why don't you just grow up and try talking to each other instead of shooting every little thing that moves and setting a bad example for the youth of America?"

Heston turned to her with a broad smile on his face. "Well hello there missy! How would you like to squeeze off a few rounds from the Charleton-Heston pistol?" "You are such a typical testosterone toting, ego-manacial, trigger-happy, ammo-loving geezer! I mean I love men, don't get me wrong. I'm not a feminist or anything like that. It's just that people like you perpetuate that stereotype that all men are..." and she continued to drone on while Heston just rolled his eyes. He finally had enough. "This little bitch is giving me a headache." And he let loose a salvo of lead into Drew. Then he spent about ten minutes shooting, reloading, and shooting up Drew's corpse while shouting things like "You like that bunny hugger!?" "Yes! Let's just get rid of ALL of the guns! That will solve ALL our problems!" and "It's a mad house!"

When he finished exercising most of his aggression on Drew, he turned to the others. "And as for the rest of you..." He stopped in mid-sentence when he discovered he was talking to an empty room. Realizing he lost track of time overkilling Barrymore, he grinded his teeth, grabbed his 7.62 mm mini-gun, 155 mm Howitzer, a MP-5, stuffed a few Berettas and Glocks down his pants and chased after Neo-Steve and Company, Brad, and Mini-Russ.

The group was outside the compound where all hell was breaking lose on the island. All the assault vehicles from the U.S. and Japanese Armies were blowing the hell out of everything. Several ground troops saw the group and surrounded them. The team leader radioed back to his superior at Sony. "We have the droid. He's smaller now, but we have acquired the Russ droid!"

Watching the battle from afar on his 2,000 inch Sony wide screen television, Bevan drummed his fingers on his armchair in anticipation. He pressed a button on the armchair and spoke into the speaker. "Wait until they have them in one of the copters and are off the island. Then engage and capture." He let loose the transmit button and turned his attention back to the screen. "I MUST have that Russ android."

On the island, the group was being ushered to one of the helicopters. Brad and Neo-Steve looked at each other with contempt. "When I get out of this, you will die most horribly." Steve just yawned at him. Right when they were about to board the copter, Heston ran out into the field guns blazing...

Posted by Gordon McLeod (Member # 33) on 10-08-2000, 12:49 PM:

At which point Fat Bastard rolled in wanting his baby back ribs. When he didn't get any he just sat down on Heston crying for his ribs

Posted by Ethan Harper (Member # 472) on 10-11-2000, 11:33 PM:

"Get thee Hell off of me! AAAArrrggghhhh!!!"

"What the bloody hell was that?" Fat Bastard questioned.

"Get off you fat lard ass 2 ton whale. Your killing me as we speak"

Fat Bastard then let out this excruciating fart.

"OOOOHHHHH that one loosened up the bowels from me huge sexy ass!" -Fat Bastard

"Oh no, Damn you I was wrong all along. I'll get you for this. Get off of me you damn dirty aaaaaapppppp" At that Charleton Heston died.

Fat Bastard then looked around, shrugged and said " What the Hell Im hungry" and then ate Charleton Heston with one big gulp.

then....

------------------
--"That's my story and i'm sticking to it!"--

Posted by Ethan Harper (Member # 472) on 11-07-2000, 02:03 AM:

Ha Ha! Did I win. I got the last post here. Where's my prize???

------------------
--"That's my story and i'm sticking to it!"--

Posted by Paul Cunningham (Member # 501) on 11-08-2000, 09:06 PM:

Did you win because your last post was so good no one could possibly have come up with a follow on or because it was so bad no one tried.

Posted by Dwayne Caldwell (Member # 417) on 11-16-2000, 04:06 AM:

And then Ethan and Paul vanished in a poof as Brad awoke. He sat up in his bed shouting, "That's it! I know what the subject of my website will be!"

Thinking that it would receive millions of hits daily if done right, he immediately resolved to do it later, opting for the moment to yawn and fall back to sleep.

The next morning, he completely forgot his original idea and decided to make a website for film engineers and projectionists instead.

Posted by Brad Miller (Member # 2) on 11-16-2000, 04:33 AM:

Nothing important ever happened before noon. Tech work is best done from midnight to 6am in the morning.

Posted by Dwayne Caldwell (Member # 417) on 07-25-2001, 10:17 AM:

That being the case, it wasn't until about two in the morning that Brad really began to flesh out the structure of his new website. He would have a forum for engineers and operators to discuss topics about the movie industry, a want and sales bulletin board, and a warehouse of different theatre booth pictures whereever he could get them. The future might even entail product reviews, a repository of every booth equipment manual imaginable, and hints and tips from the world's leading experts in the exhibition industry. Brad was excited about the possibilites. A web site that would help improve the world of film.

And word must have gotten out somehow about Brad's idea for one night, about a week after starting the initial research and layout of his film site, the front door opened and he was intruded upon by five men toting automatic weapons with suppressors. Brad raised his hands in bewilderment as his forehead was painted with five distinct laser dots. They stood their ground and waited as their leader came into the room. They parted, guns still trained on Brad, to allow the man to enter.

"I heard you were making a web site about film," George Lucas intoned in his gravelly monotone voice. He looked to one of his men. The gunman shot a single silenced round into Brad's laptop screen. Brad jumped back from the desk. Hands still raised, he slowly turned to face Lucas.

"That's really gonna interfere with my plans," George simply stated. Then he took Brad's swivel chair and sat down, propped his feet on the desk, and took out his cigar cutter and a cigar.

"Here's what's gonna happen." He snipped the end of the cigar for dramatic effect then lit his cigar, took a drag, and let out a cloud of smoke. "You will cease and desist all activity regarding your plans for his proposed web site. It will never be mentioned in public or private again. You will also relay this to those who know of the web site thus far. Do I really need to go into detail the consequences of disobeying me on this?"

Brad looked back at his ruined laptop, then back to Lucas. "I don't think so, no."

"Good." Then Lucas got up. "See to it you forget about this film site."

Brad, not liking being told what to do, waited until Lucas and his company left, then reached in his hamper for his AK-47, racked the bolt, and...

Posted by Ethan Harper (Member # 472) on 07-25-2001, 11:17 AM:

Came out yelling and firing. Not realizing that he had very little ammo left (due to the many rounds that he dispursed at the Technicolor depo) He fired his last shot. As the bullet was flying in mid-air towards George's head (ala any John Woo Shot) one of the guards dressed in Imperials clothing jumped in front of the bullet screaming from the top of his lungs,"NOO SAA! WATCHSA OUTSA!" at that the bullet then entered the guards head and the guard fell down to the floor dead. George Lucas then looked down with great pity for his guard. Pulled off his mask only to reveal it was Jar Jar Binks. George Lucas now laughing turned to Brad and said,"Thanks, he was really starting to annoy me". Brad, now more frustrated then ever, wanting vengeance for his Laptop, he proceeded to call his good friend and long time super hero Scott Norwood. "HE DID WHAT?!?" asked Scott. "Ill be right over!". At that, Scott turned off his favorite Sean Connery movie (his personal hero) leaped into the air and flew off. Still waiting for Scott Norwood to arrive at any second, Bill Gates came busting in through the wall. With a huge goofy grin on his face he looked at Brad and said,"Hi Brad, Im Bill Gates. I have been sent here to destroy you by George. Oh well time to die." Inching himself closer and closer to Brad with arms ready to strangle, his eyes turning laser red, Huge goofy smile came to 5 cm away from Brad's neck when all of the sudden...

------------------
--"That's my story and i'm sticking to it!"--

Posted by Bob Maar (Member # 763) on 07-25-2001, 11:51 AM:

Brad spotted a small bottle on the floor in front of him. He bent down to pick it up and a vapor spilled forth putting him to sleep. As he slept a strange metamorphesis took place his nose started to grow and grow and he awoke in the body of............

Posted by John Schulien (Member # 215) on 07-25-2001, 12:47 PM:

... the decapitated Jar Jar Binks. With his last remaining strength, he thrust his arm through the dead Gungan's throat, and peeled himself out of the stomach cavity, dripping with goo. "Oh jeez", he thought, I must be back in that weird dream. The smell of death overpowered his now comically oversized nose, and ...

Posted by Ethan Harper (Member # 472) on 07-25-2001, 12:51 PM:

Mothra.. The evil Mothra arose screraming and shrieking. It flew up in the air and swooped down towards Brad shooting red frikkin lasers out of its eyes towards Brad. Brad now stumbling around ducking for cover finds a bottle of Filmguard. He then opens the bottle and proceeds to drink it (Popeye theme music now playing). Brad finishes the bottle and flexes his bicep. Just then Scott Norwood comes flying in through the busted wall, knocking down Mothra Gates as he was mere inches from hitting Brad in the Mommy Daddy button. Then much to their dismay...

------------------
--"That's my story and i'm sticking to it!"--

Posted by Bob Maar (Member # 763) on 07-25-2001, 03:11 PM:

Some "Fump" fell out of the mommy/Daddy button and blew across the floor into some spilled Coke. It started to fester and it started to grow it became like a pod from the "Body snatchers" Brad seeing the growth before his very eyes started to cry. He was scared, his hands were shaking and he stood in a puddle of.............

Posted by John Pytlak (Member # 331) on 07-25-2001, 04:18 PM:

...the metabolized FilmGuard that he had just drunk...

Posted by Darryl Spicer (Member # 711) on 07-25-2001, 08:20 PM:

...When Scott Norwood grabs Brad and pulls him out of the puddle of now lethal metabolized filmguard. Just as a live high voltage wire dangleing from the cieling hits the puddle and explodes with great intensity hurling them both thru a wall into a....

Posted by Will Kutler (Member # 770) on 07-25-2001, 08:28 PM:

Onto a platter containing the only print of George Lucase's new trillion dollar film. But the film is alive, and starts to engulf him, then............

Posted by Aaron Sisemore (Member # 145) on 07-25-2001, 10:17 PM:

...Brad quickly notices the platter that they and the killer print are sitting on is a CFS Super Platter, and quickly grabs ahold of the feed arm in the brain, throws the switch into feed mode and hangs on for dear life as he, Scott and the killer print begin to spin wildly, soon the print begins to slide around and then Brad tells Scott to hang on and the count One...Two...Three! and they both grab the platter tree as the killer print sails off of the smooth dished surface of the Super, where it...

Posted by Darryl Spicer (Member # 711) on 07-25-2001, 11:48 PM:

....lands next to Bob Maar telling one of his many many jokes. As we all know only Bob could save the day with his joke telling, but...

Posted by Bob Maar (Member # 763) on 07-26-2001, 09:25 AM:

....but it was an imposter made up to look like me. As Brad and Scott went sliding across the floor the wall suddenly opened wide and they slid at high speed out of the building and they were on the 78th floor....is this the end......can they survive the fall?

Posted by Darryl Spicer (Member # 711) on 07-26-2001, 09:32 AM:

yesssssssssss....it just so happend that Brad had on his trusty perachute that could hold two people. So they slowly floated down to the street below were they encountered...

Posted by John Pytlak (Member # 331) on 07-26-2001, 10:30 AM:

...a reporter doing a "man on the street" interview about movie theatres. Sensing a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity, as Brad and Scott landed, they shouted to the reporter...

Posted by Ethan Harper (Member # 472) on 07-26-2001, 10:36 AM:

VIDEO SUCKS! At that point they thought they were safe, then as they turned around they watched the reporter morphed back to its original state. It turns out that the reporter was really one of Joes crazy Morphs. He picked up the crew's camera. Held back to take a swing at Scott and Brad ...

------------------
--"That's my story and i'm sticking to it!"--

Posted by Bob Maar (Member # 763) on 07-26-2001, 12:19 PM:

Sensing danger Brad's bud

leaves his booth and races for his car. He is thinking to himself, with tears rolling down his cheeks, he is worried for Brad and Scott. As

opens the car door, he sneezes and the force from the mighty nose blows him to.........

Posted by John Wilson (Member # 269) on 07-26-2001, 09:20 PM:

...Sydney, Australia where

lands atop the Sydney Opera House. He screams out for John, Michael and Bill to hoist the sails and bring her around but, alas, he could not be heard by Michael or Bill owing to the fact that all of their Century projectors were so bloody noisy.

John put down his bottle of FilmGuard and with a mighty 'Crikees Cobbers' ran from Randwick all the way up Anzac Parade being careful to follow the now obsolete Olympic Marathon blue line which is now just an annoyance especially in the wet weather and reached the Opera House (being sure to take in the many other beautiful sites of Sydney Harbor on the way) just as yelled:

'I'M THE KING OF THE WORLD!'

With this, Joe managed to quickly get enough adrenalin pumping to...

Posted by Paul Cunningham (Member # 501) on 07-26-2001, 10:13 PM:

....sensing that something extraordinary was going on Michael Barry left his 70mm print of 2001 on autopilot and leapt from the top of the revolving restaurant with his rocket pack, swept down, picked up Joe from the Opera House and headed out to Doyles at Watsons Bay. In the meantime Brad was searching for the sixth spirit to make a waveform that would finally annihalate George Lucas's digital cinema and allow film to reign supreme. Learning of these developements George retreated to Skywalker Ranch so that he could regroup and decide what to do, however on arrival where the Ranch should be all that he could see was....

Posted by John Pytlak (Member # 331) on 07-27-2001, 08:17 AM:

...a brand new 64-plex "entertainment center" lit by garish neon lights in the middle of a huge but empty parking lot surrounded by the clear-cut remnants of the beautiful rolling wooded hills of the former Ranch. Entering the cavernous harshly-lit techno-style lobby, he was greeted by the cacophonous din of video games and the acrid smell of burnt popcorn and rancid pizza. The theatre was entirely staffed by droids. The head droid approached menacingly and said...

Posted by Bob Maar (Member # 763) on 07-27-2001, 10:23 AM:

What make are you? You do not look like the rest of us. What manner of droid are you.

George's eyes quickly search the room but he sees no human beings, just the ugly droids. He quickly gains his composure and says, " I am the latest droid to be manufactured." he contiues, " I have been designed to swallow film sent in here and my eyes are projectors to show what I swallowed on the screen"

"Where is the projection room?"

The droid leads George to a door near the concession stand. As he passes by he looks in the concession and sees.........

Posted by Evans A Criswell (Member # 381) on 07-27-2001, 10:28 AM:

... that the theatre is selling a product made by crossing jumping beans and popcorn. The area behind the concession stand was a mess. .....

Posted by Dwayne Caldwell (Member # 417) on 07-27-2001, 04:01 PM:

Where the slovenly droids were slowly leaking oil onto the titled floor. George was upset that his ex-ranch wasn't even equipped with the latest protocol droids. The projectionist mecha proceeded to show George the projection room. The droid stood before the port glass window and showed George his latest ingestion.

George was furious. It was a documentary on the destruction of Skywalker Ranch. And the demolitionists were a bunch of talking monkeys engineered by none other than Film Tech resident scientist and fun loving party guy Evans A. Criswell for the purpose of helping Brad avenge his laptop. George banded the droids together to strike back at Evans and his monkeys.

Evans, hearing of George's droid army knew he would need more than talking monkey clones to combat the menace. He called on super hero the Ultimate Bad Ass Bob Maar (special power- making people laugh while he whales on them), Oscar winner Mr. Kodak John Ptylak (special power- emits xenon beams from his eyes), and refreshed from his recent vacation in Australia Joe the Chameleon Redifer (special talent- self explanatory).

Brad and Scott of course had to get in on the action, so they all met up amid a sea of monkeys to discuss the battle plan. But little did they know...

Posted by Darryl Spicer (Member # 711) on 07-29-2001, 06:40 PM:

....that George brought in his old buddy Steven Spielberg to back him up. Steven of course brought his own army with him that takes ten minutes of credits to list there names. But brad and Scott had there own surprise plan what could it be who has the answer. How can one defeat such great armies....

Posted by John Wilson (Member # 269) on 07-30-2001, 09:41 PM:

that included Indiana Jones, ET, Puck, Goldie Hawn, Richard Dreyfuss (who were both glad to be in employment once more yet wondering if they were to be paid scale for this gig), the little teddy bear from the AI trailer and Tom Hanks.

Danger surrounded the super heroes Brad Filmguard and Chamelion Joe yet they had special secret weapons...they tore open their jackets and revealed incredibly large...

Posted by Bob Maar (Member # 763) on 08-01-2001, 08:39 AM:

scar that went from the belly button up and around their necks and up to the crainium. It seems that they had been captured by the droids who were curious about what made them tick. They implanted into their bodies............

Posted by Adam Martin (Member # 641) on 08-01-2001, 09:37 AM:

huge pectoral muscles that could ...

Posted by John Pytlak (Member # 331) on 08-01-2001, 10:15 AM:

...lift an entire IMAX movie or qualify for a job at "Hooters". Rather than using these stunning physical attributes to get out of their predicament, Brad and Joe decided to...

Posted by John T. Hendrickson, Jr (Member # 849) on 08-05-2001, 07:26 PM:

run for political office. Since this was an expensive undertaking, they decided to approach corporations for contributions. They contacted TES, whereupon...

Posted by Sean McKinnon (Member # 612) on 08-06-2001, 03:14 AM:

...The masterminds at TES used the phone call to track down Brad, and Joe. The TES exec's then commandeered an Airborne truck and rushed to thier location. They then knocked out our hereos and stuffed them in 2 large orange beat-up film cans, and carelessly threw them into the back of the truck...

Posted by Aaron Sisemore (Member # 145) on 08-06-2001, 03:46 AM:

...where they were hurried off to the nearest Airborne depot, where they were then handed off to the Sky Courier guy who hauled them off to the waiting cargo jet, sitting on the tarmac, engines running. The jet lifts off with our heroes aboard...

Posted by Bob Maar (Member # 763) on 08-06-2001, 10:49 AM:

.....as the plane lifts off for its final destination, our hero's awaken inside the film cans. Covered with celluloid they begin to morph and..........

Posted by Bobby Henderson (Member # 840) on 08-06-2001, 09:48 PM:

...and turn into Josie and one of the Pussycats! Real convenient too. The plane landed in Las Vegas, where wouldn't you know, the ShoWest convention was happening. Brad and Joe broke out of the film cans and escaped through Las Vegas International airport. They made their way up the strip to a TES party at the Hilton. The plan was to pose as high class Las Vegas hookers and hitch a ride with the TES executives to the TES Star, a planet sized fusion powered megaplex control center on the dark side of the moon. The TES Star had one exploitable weakness ---during a recon mission, John Pytlak noticed a piece of neon above a hot dog counter near the center of the installation. Schematics showed that just one shot from a film guard minigun to that clear red tube would short out the electrical power and the fusion reactor would blow the TES Star to bits.

Great plan, but first they had to get there. Brad and Joe were stuck in some cheezy hospitality suite with stale snacks and lite beer. Worst of all, Joe heard a horrible voice say, "hey gal, nice dress!" Joe turned and screamed, "Oh my God, it's......

Posted by Sean McKinnon (Member # 612) on 08-07-2001, 02:08 AM:

...Paul Thompson!!!...

Posted by John Pytlak (Member # 331) on 08-07-2001, 07:18 AM:

...Paul winked knowingly, and whispered...

Posted by Bob Maar (Member # 763) on 08-07-2001, 03:23 PM:

yes it does look like Paul right down to the gray hair and glasses, the problem is this Paul Thompson is over eight foot tall and must weigh in at over 600 pounds....oh! my god!!..he sees me typing he is coming after oh!....help..somebody...ple....

Posted by Will Kutler (Member # 770) on 08-07-2001, 06:37 PM:

.....And along comes John McCaan draggin' along a print of "The Projectionist"---just in time to save Bob Maar, but then......

Posted by Sean McKinnon (Member # 612) on 08-07-2001, 11:19 PM:

...The duke himself, Mr. John Wayne comes ridin in on his horse...

Posted by John Wilson (Member # 269) on 08-10-2001, 08:01 AM:

{in John Wayne-speak...} "Well, well, well...jus' what the heck do you guys think you're doing here? If'n I didn't have ter git on over to ol' Gord McLeod's farm n' help him te' fix that ol' fence I'd take you all out and whop some good ol' fashioned sense into yer!"

Just then, someone reminded The Duke that he had died some time in the seventies.

"Well,..."(ack...) "I, er..."(urg...) "You all..." (thud...)

Brad and Joe mosied on over to where the Duke was laying. They looked at each other and Brad said...

"That's it!!! I've got it!!! Click your heels together, Joe! Click them just as hard as you can!!!"

"You know Brad" said Joe, "You're right!"

As one, they clicked their heels together and said in unison:

"There's no place like home...There's no place like home!"

They woke up the next morning realizing it had all been one big nightm...er, one big dream. Oh how the two chums laughed when they thought of their adventure.

"Ha ha ha" laughed Brad.

"Ha ha ha" laughed Joe.

But it seemed a little strange to Brad...surely not..., no, it couldn't be..., was it just his mind playing tricks on him, or did Joe now look a little bit like Bob Maar? No, he looked again...he looked more like Evans...No, wait...Joe reminded him of Tim Reed.

Ahhhh, but that was surely just his imagination.

...surely.

Posted by Ethan Harper (Member # 472) on 10-26-2001, 05:01 PM:

Or so you would think...

Posted by Dwayne Caldwell (Member # 417) on 01-04-2002, 02:36 PM:

... I feel a sequel is coming... soon...

Posted by Bill Gabel (Member # 1105) on 06-30-2003, 08:58 PM:

What about a sequel?

Posted by Bob Maar (Member # 763) on 06-30-2003, 09:06 PM:

So Big Bad John stepped out of the grave...and boy did he have a booger. He had not sneezed for two decades and he just knew he had to let loose. So he.................

Posted by System Notices (Member # 2357) on 03-11-2005, 02:27 PM:

It has been 619 days since the last post.

Posted by Jeremy Fuentes (Member # 2135) on 03-11-2005, 02:27 PM:

decided to tell Jeremy to bump up an old thread and...

Posted by Joe Redifer (Member # 3) on 03-11-2005, 05:26 PM:

...demand that Joe release the video he edited long ago aptly titled "The Film-Tech Story".

Posted by Phil Hill (Member # 371) on 03-11-2005, 11:38 PM:

Yawn...

Posted by Brent Neal Jones (Member # 1048) on 03-13-2005, 02:06 AM:

Phil talks about Rachel but he's starting to sound more like her in every post. [Big Grin]

Posted by System Notices (Member # 2357) on 06-25-2007, 02:16 PM:

It has been 834 days since the last post.

Posted by John Wilson (Member # 269) on 06-25-2007, 02:16 PM:

The History Of Film-Tech 2: Revenge Of The Celuloid Heroes.

Many years had passed, and sadly they had lost some valiant warriors in their quest, but the remaining Celuloid Heroes had stayed true to their cause.

Joe, Brad, John and now Jeremy had decided the time had come. If ever there was to be a time for them to prove to the world that they meant business, this was the time.

Together they made one final pact...even at the risk of losing everything they had worked for, they would make sure

Posted by Jim Bedford (Member # 4) on 06-25-2007, 05:30 PM:

....that Phil would never yawn again. So they jumped into Brad's hopped up '44 VW that he brought back from WW II and headed to Cootville to give Phil what he deserved.

After a long search and not being able to find Cootville (much less Phil), tired and distracted, they decided to see ZOO (Joe apparently needed some pointers) which was playing at a small, single screen theatre in....

Posted by Phil Hill (Member # 371) on 06-25-2007, 05:48 PM:

...and as usual, the pansy squad failed to locate Phil in his secret hiding place. Yawn!

Posted by Jon Miller (Member # 163) on 06-25-2007, 07:23 PM:

But another search team eventually found Phil hiding in a projection booth in another city, cowering between a fifty-year-old but well maintained Simplex X-L with a Peerless Magnarc and a brand new Christie CP-2000 [dlp]

projector. The sight of that shiny new digital box next to the venerable old beast of a machine was too much...

Posted by Bob Maar (Member # 763) on 06-26-2007, 10:10 AM:

but it convinced Phil that he really like to be with women and he let everyone know.

Posted by Phil Hill (Member # 371) on 06-26-2007, 04:47 PM:

Yawn...

Posted by Dwayne Caldwell (Member # 417) on 08-14-2007, 09:49 PM:

Our celuloid heroes knew that if Phil yawned a third time, it would summon the dreaded pan dimensional and dry challenged Coot Monster to reek its cootness on the city. Jumping into Richard Greco's sleek chick magnet Bell 222 Airwolf replica, our heroes scanned the city with their extremely-old-people-detector (don't ask what it keys on - you really wont like the answer) and found a signature similar to Phil's emitting from the Rialto theater where they were playing a print of Howard's End. Fearing it may already be too late, Joe, Brad, John and Jeremy rappelled near the entrance and burst through the front door with their automatic weapons and derring-do. That's when they faced...

Posted by Phil Hill (Member # 371) on 08-14-2007, 10:36 PM:

(Dwayne, me thinks you've been smoking WAAAY too much of that I-30 stuff...) [Razz]

Posted by Mark Gulbrandsen (Member # 72) on 08-15-2007, 07:39 AM:

the fact that Barney was already there and had just put his single bullett into his gun and was about to shoot the cootster down...

Posted by Steve Guttag (Member # 268) on 08-15-2007, 12:09 PM:

[oddly enough, I never saw this thread until now 8/15/07 SG]

Posted by Dwayne Caldwell (Member # 417) on 08-20-2007, 12:41 AM:

... when John shot Barney in the head. The purple dinosaur collapsed in a heap and began to stain the carpet pink. John looked to his comrades and gave a little wink. "No worries, mates."

"I wouldn't know about that," Brad told him grimly and then gave a quick nod in the cooter's direction. What they saw horrified them. Phil was turning into...

(you know you love it Phil. [Razz]

)