I'll start with some really bad ones:

What is a projectionist's favorite mouthwash?
Scope.

If you send a valentine to a female projectionist, what do you send to one you don't?
A Ballantyne.

What did the projectionist get when he made love to Christie?
Perforations on his private part.

Why did the projector love the platters?
Because they were Strong.

What did one projector such a successful athlete?
It had a longer throw.

What did the projector do when it was laid on its back?
Throw up.

Why do some projectionists not believe in using platters?
They're not reel.

Why was the movie seem so one-dimensional?
It was flat.

What is the first thing to do before getting into too serious a relationship with a projector?
Check her aperture plate and make sure it hasn't been filed out too much.

What did the long-haired projectionist get when his hair got caught in the platter's payout mechanism?
A brain-wrap.

What did the film say when the payout platter stopped?
Don't worry! I've got it all wrapped up.

Why did the shutter timing problem be found by the technician?
It was an intermittent problem.

What do projectionists play pool with?
Changeover cues.

Contribute! This may be the first such compilation ever of these kinds of jokes. If I can think up this many horrible jokes in a 15 minute period, I'm sure y'all can do much better.

If you were a platter, would you be on the top or the bottom?
me, I'd be in the middle

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--"That's my story and i'm sticking to it!"--
 

Projectionists do it every 20 minutes, Or all night long on thursday

Old projectionists never die; they just changeover.

Don't feel limited by having to stick to any particular joke format. Post any type of joke that comes to mind, whether it be riddle, poem, prose, or one-liner.

Here is another projection humor possibility:
Last night, I thought about a story I wrote using chemistry terms. To see what I'm talking about, see http://www.itsc.uah.edu/~criswell/chemistry.html . It was inspired by remembering a naughty little story I saw back in the late 1970s using the names of candy bars. I figure we could do the same with film projector terms (part names, technical terms, nicknames for parts or terms, brand names, presentation-related terms, etc.).

Drive-In projectionists have the longest......<ahem> throws

I like the idea about the story with the terms thrown in as the standard/double entendre dialogue, a good example is the song 'Wet Dream' by Kip Adotta...

My girlfriend and I had once done a story using the names of theatre chains in the dialogue, some of it was rather funny...

Aaron

Galxaies Chest for Galaxy Quest
Double "D" Jeopardy

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--"That's my story and i'm sticking to it!"--
 

Imax projectionists do it every hour on the hour
 

Film is the best medium because it's presented to people on a silver platter.

If Brad had a groaner smiley, I'd have used it.

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The man with the magic hands.

...ok, ok... Maybe that was a little crude of me, bet you at least chuckled though.

~GLB
 

Rory
 

"This is Dick,Head of Projection. He has the biggest projection in Britain and it goes in sideways"
 

PROJECTIONISTS DO IT IN THE DARK!

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Better Projection Pays!
 

These things could become classics. They could be around for a Century or more.
 

why couldn't the film run? it was caught in the film trap.

why did the projectionist go to emerald city?
to ask the wizard for a brain.

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Regal Booth Certifier
 

While walking down the hallway to the booth, past the stockroom, then the office of the director of operations, and finally the 'junk' storage room...
I stopped in my tracks, then took a few steps back, with my camera ready, I reached in, and clicked on the light...

Here's what I saw...

~GLB

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In some cultures, what I do is considered normal.

A chop shop.

What highly successful movie was shown in Huntsville Regal theatres starting in December 1997?

ITANI

Why do overweight people love to go to Regal theatres in Huntsville?

It's the quickest way to lose 23 percent off their sides.

What did the Cobb theatre designer who build the Huntsville Regal theatres get on his S.A.T.?

Drool.

Sorry, those were just too easy.

Huntsville/Decatur Movie Theatre Info
(Projection Quality Ratings, Showtimes, Historical Info) http://home.hiwaay.net/~criswell/theatre/

So, Gracia, what exactly are those people doing in that picture?

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Last night at work, I didn't have my digital camera, or I could have a *cute* picture to post...
The two from my previous picture were spotted in that same storage room, just cuddling...

~GLB

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In some cultures, what I do is considered normal.
 

It has been 4065 days since the last post.