I happened to be watching Hitchcock's strange film "The Birds" the other night, and I suddenly had a thought that made me sit up straight and realize just how much I accept things at face value, without questioning the obvious, no matter how macabre. In the spirit of truth in movies, and in hopes of understanding life more fully, I've decided to share the mind-numbing question that suddenly and without provocation came into my mind while pondering Hitchcock's brilliance.

My bet is that even with the combined talent of all of us in the forum, we may be hard pressed to find the one true answer to this film related question, secretly posed by both "The Birds" and "High Anxiety." Since this is a question that has begged an answer for thousands of years, I think we'll need to give our research the best shot.

If you don't have the foggiest idea of an answer, ask the question of everyone you know. Perhaps, by happy fortune, some person will be able to impart the secret and explain things. If the people you ask doesn't have an answer, please enlist their support and aid. Tell them to ask their friends and report back to you if they do find the answer. Post the answers here. What is the question? The question is... How do birds get their shit so pure white, when every other animal shits brown or black?!? Bird seed isn't white. Insects aren't white. Fruit and berries aren't white. What the @#$% is going on here? Do birds carry little bottles of bleach under their wings? Does this all somehow relate to the ability to fly? If you shit white, can you fly? Or is there something about flapping your arms rapidly that turns shit pure white and runny? In loving memory of a great director, we need an answer to these questions. Yeah, I know. I've been watching too much Hitchcock. Time to get back to work.

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John P. Pytlak, Senior Technical Specialist
Worldwide Technical Services, Entertainment Imaging
Eastman Kodak Company
Research Labs, Building 69, Room 7419
Rochester, New York, 14650-1922 USA
Tel: 716-477-5325 Cell: 716-781-4036 Fax: 716-722-7243
E-Mail: john.pytlak@kodak.com
Web site: http://www.kodak.com/go/motion
 

Bird poop is white because of the solid urine material contained in it, as opposed to the clear liquid urine. Other colors come from the feces portion, generated from solid food (purple berry poop).

If you're dyin' to know more, go to http://www.acstiels.com/poop-ology.htm .

God, the stuff I've learned at the theater.

Rochester, NY, is on a migration route frequented by flocks of crows. Crows are unusually smart birds (much like their raven cousins.) I was working graveyard shift as a security guard on my college campus during winter recess and was one of perhaps three people within a half-mile radius. I walked out of one of the dorms and decided to patrol the jogging path along the river. I walked about 100 yards when I heard a soft "caw" from a tree overhead. I looked up to see THOUSANDS of crows silently roosting in the trees above me. They stretched as far as I could see in the moonlight.

I quickly walked back inside.

Needless to say, I get chills down my spine every time I screen that movie!

 

Adam, I got to the end of the article and choked at "Watch your bird’s droppings everyday..." Errr, I think I've got other things to do. It was an informative and quick answer though. Film-techers really know their shit.

Bob, Are you saying you are a bird brain?

Come to Oz and see heaps of wild "6 foot chickens" running around everywhere (in the country of course!)

Paul
 

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I was always told a bird in the hand craps on your wrist!!

Also just be happy elephants don't have wings
 

Hitch's "The Birds" still gives me the creeps.

This morning, I found what I thought was bird poo all over the vinyl top on my car. At first I thought that an eagle was passing overhead...

I looked up expecting to get a mud pie in the face!

Then I found that I have squirrels in the large tree beside the garage. Yuuck!

I need to park the car elsewhere. Squirrel-poo does not just rinse off like the bird-doo does, and your car paint will fade in as little as 24 hours under the "gift."

You sure cant say that this site is boring, Eh?
 

And, yes on those elephants. Worse yet, can you imagine those dinosaur birds back in the dinosaur days? Wow! That would flatten a Volkswagen!

Remember the seagull in a Mel Brooks movie? Now, THAT was a dump!

Speaking of elephants, you will not believe this (then maybe you will). I remember in 1946 when I was only 6 years old the County Fair came to town. They had elephants, too. Well, I was walking along when I tripped over a freshly deposited elephant pie, and fell face first into the next one! Was kind of a crappy experience, obviously.

Just goes to show how far back you can remember things.

Oh, well! At least I admitted it.

There was a clip on comedy central daily news recently which stretched the bounds of poor taste on television. One bit of footage was of an elephant masturbator being in the wrong place at the wrong time, and getting his head stuck up an elephant's ass. I thought some of the jobs I've held were bad until I saw that.

Two "stupid guys" are walking down the beach. A seagull flies over and hits the first guy right in the face.

The second guy heads for the public restroom. When the fisrt asks him what he's doing, the reply is, "I'm just going in here to get some toilet paper."

He says, "It's no use. That damn bird will be MILES away by now!"