quote:

---

I do believe it has something to do with an individual's own comfort level in their own skin.

---

Exactly. People in general won't be comfortable with you until you're comfortable with yourself. As for me, when I did start telling people I was gay, it was always like "Oh, I knew. That's your own private business." That USED to piss me off, cause they would send out those STRAIGHT messages, through talk of their loved ones, etc. But then I learned that was something they needed to get used to as well. It's funny now, but I was always the targeted gay student in high school (the usual name-calling and beatings), even though I didnt TRY to give off any signals and wasn't "out" in a "look, Im gay" sort of way, at least consciuosly).

As far as work is concerned several people do know I am gay there. It usually is unspoken by them (there are several closeted ones) which is strange, since we have job protection as part of state law and district policy (I do video production work for a school district).

Its always amused me when people say "I cant be out, Id lose my job" when I know openly gay people who work for the same employer (local oil companies, for example. Bakersfied is one of the biggest producers in the United States) and they have experienced no problems with discrimination. So it does come down to personal discomfort.

But one thing I learned that after taking that step (and with me its so matter-of-fact that if it comes up in a conversation,i it comes out naturally)is that it really is no big deal, and as long as I dont get defensive about it, no one can make me feel like shit over it. And that attitude will eventually filter through society as well. In 10 years no one will even know what the big deal was about.
 

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Posted by Manny Knowles (Member # 1171) on 04-19-2003, 10:05 PM:
 
33
5'11"
130#
Brn/Grn

Sagittarius

Enjoys movies (of course), music of all sorts, writing, sex, outdoor restaurants, having tea, spending lazy days on beaches, sex, long drives, psychology, sex, anthropology.

Yeah, I'm basically out and about. I'm not bursting into flames or anything but even a busted gaydar will ping if I'm being myself.

Um...Rachel, honey....shouldn't there be like over 500 posts here?

Now I think there's some validity to the question that was asked the other night -- "I wonder if Brad knows he's running a dating service!?"

Seriously, though, I wasn't interested in "going there" on Film-Tech but the "Shame on Kodak" thread changed my mind. So now I'm out here, too.
 

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Posted by Phil Hill (Member # 371) on 04-19-2003, 10:46 PM:
 
Manny! Hubba Hubba!

Those stats are HOT!

NOW! If you would ONLY get rid of that crap on your face!

>>> Phil
 

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Posted by Manny Knowles (Member # 1171) on 04-19-2003, 10:50 PM:
 
By popular demand -- a new pic is forthcoming -- stay tuned
 

---

Posted by Gunnar Johansson (Member # 1661) on 04-20-2003, 01:01 PM:
 
Happy Easter everybody! (Hoping that´s not a religious off-topic remark... ).
I´m bisexual, and though I don´t go around introducing myself as one, I´m semi-active in our union, and in our association or what you would call it at campus.
Couldn´t do it any other way at "work" when there´s just 7 of us working basically always, and when not working, showing movies, rigging concerts or renting stuff out (or going to school, too I guess) there´s always people there for a beer or a chat or some music... A really tightly knit group... Interesting fact that our room is called Brum, an allegory to LoBs rum (LoB´s room) and is the same word that the humming of 50 Hz is through loudspeakers if you´ve got different grounds... Not really relevant, but I don´t remember what my stats are in "american". We think it´s funny any way.
Wasn´t thinking about coming out on this forum, but saw the thread and thought, what the heck. And I´m one of very few swedes...
//Gunnar
 

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Posted by Dan Lyons (Member # 1454) on 04-20-2003, 03:25 PM:
 
I've always been out at the various places I've worked. However in most instances I never really came out, but I was ususally asked by coworkers ( which led them to tell me about their "cute friend" and play matchmaker... oh geeez )

Never had any attitude problems from other coworkers because of it.

Danny
 

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Posted by Ian Price (Member # 14) on 04-20-2003, 04:29 PM:
 
I'm a closet Heterosexual.

I know I'm straight, but none of the girls know or care.
 

---

Posted by Rachel Gilardi (Member # 1016) on 04-20-2003, 04:34 PM:
 

quote:

---

Um...Rachel, honey....shouldn't there be like over 500 posts here?

---

Jeez Manny, it really bothers me when people take something I say out of context from a chat room. I know your just joking around but people keep bringing it up. If you want me to explain what I said--email me. BTW, love the new pic!

It's been a while since I posted in this thread...at this point almost everyone at my workplace knows that I am bi-sexual. At first it made a lot of the women uncomfortable but as time passed I became very good friends with most of them. Other then that, I have never really had any problems with people accepting me for the way I am.
 

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Posted by William Phillips (Member # 1162) on 04-20-2003, 04:35 PM:
 
Me too
 

---

Posted by Matthew Nock (Member # 1575) on 04-20-2003, 09:13 PM:
 
Out and about well and truly!

when I First came out, the girls down stairs said "Oh, great, now we can check out cute guys together"

the "boys" upstairs were all fussy about it - til someone from downstairs said "Geez, its not like he is gunna wanna have sex with you or anything! - wake up, he is a great projectionist, you dont need to worry about what he does when he gets home"

And from then on, no-one cares
 

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Posted by John Spooner (Member # 1565) on 04-21-2003, 12:47 PM:
 
Dear Matthew.
Just a quick diversion from the topic. Could you send me your e-mail details as I am advised either you or the board is blocking access. Have tried to e-mail you but no sucess.
Regards. John Spooner. Adelaide. "skunk@bigbutton.com.au"
 

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Posted by Scott D. Neff (Member # 185) on 04-21-2003, 01:23 PM:
 
Shouldn't we have saved this topic for June?

I'm out at work. The people I come in contact with every day know all about me. There are still some people who think that picture hangin on my cubicle wall is my brother... but if they're THAT clueless then I really don't have much reason to talk to them about ANYTHING let alone my dating preferences. I mean come on... I brought my ex-boyfriend to the Christmas party. (although I brought my friend Anna the next two years because my ex-was an anti-social S.O.B.)

I dunno though... I feel fortunate to live where I do, in an area that is already used to the idea of same sex relationships. In my work or my day to day life I may have had ONE run in with somebody not so keen on the fact that I like guys. But what about other parts of the country? Being born and bred near San Francisco... I unfortunately DO have the stereotype that every other part of the country is ignorant to social differences unless it's a big city of some sort.
 

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Posted by Manny Knowles (Member # 1171) on 04-21-2003, 04:17 PM:
 
Okay, I'm lost.

June?
 

---

Posted by Dan Lyons (Member # 1454) on 04-21-2003, 05:46 PM:
 
June is "Pride month"

Danny
 

---

Posted by Scott D. Neff (Member # 185) on 04-21-2003, 05:55 PM:
 
I couldn't remember when "National Coming Out Day" was... isn't that in October sometime?
 

---

Posted by Paul Linfesty (Member # 214) on 04-21-2003, 06:15 PM:
 
Yes, National Coming Out Day is October 11. Hallmark cards on sale soon!
 

---

Posted by Daniel Fuentz (Member # 1684) on 04-21-2003, 06:27 PM:
 
I guess I'll wait and post on October 11, then.
 

---

Posted by Per Hauberg (Member # 529) on 04-21-2003, 06:45 PM:
 
Dustin Hoffman once said in an Academy Awards acceptance speech

quote:

---

I don't know, what I'm doing up here - I'm hetero

---

 

---

Posted by Bruce McGee (Member # 131) on 04-21-2003, 06:51 PM:
 
I'm with you guys 100%. Been out for 20 years.

Was called a fag all through high school. Hated the place. Didn't have sex until I was 19--almost a year after I graduated!!!

ANYONE ELSE CARE TO COME OUT??
 

---

Posted by Don Furr (Member # 1469) on 04-21-2003, 08:02 PM:
 
October 11th is my birthday. Ummmm........does that mean....???
 

---

Posted by John Pytlak (Member # 331) on 04-21-2003, 08:49 PM:
 
Manny wrote:

quote:

---

Seriously, though, I wasn't interested in "going there" on Film-Tech but the "Shame on Kodak" thread changed my mind. So now I'm out here, too.

---

Here's the thread discussing diversity and tolerance:

Tolerance Is NOT Shameful
 

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Posted by Tristan Lane (Member # 1169) on 04-22-2003, 01:50 AM:
 
Wow,

After flipping through the Kodak thread and reading some of the remarks posted I feel that the problems the Gay and Lesbian community face are still here, and will be here for a while.

Although I am not gay, I am not afraid to admit that I care not for someone's romantic/sexual preference. The driving issue with homophobia is fear and insecurity. Fear breeds hate and insecurity breeds resentment. Hate can then become a dangerous thing when someone feel's strongly enough.

I admire all of you who are not afraid to make your lifestyle choices known to the people you work with. Even more admirable is the ability to stand up for your choices when so much hate and fear is passed around spoken or unspoken.

Tristan
 

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Posted by Christopher Duvall (Member # 284) on 04-22-2003, 02:42 PM:
 
Tristan, I am not trying to stir thepot here but your choice of words could be misconstrued as a form of either ignorance or homophobia. Being gay or lesbian is not a choice or lifestyle. These people did not "choose" to go against social majority to be ridiculed and harassed. Society is more tolerant than is used to be years ago, but those that were born gay are finding themselves being the the subject of jokes in movies and TV, being beat up in school and even killed in gay bashing attacks around the world. The religious or radical right would would like to make everybody think it was a disease or caused by Satan. The radical left would like everybody think it is choice. Any rational person if they would do the research will find that it is a natural part of every species the animal kingdom. It is a fact of life...not a lifestyle.

I have had many friends beat unmercifully and harrassed to the point of almost going insane. I do not think anybody will "choose" to live their life in world of hatred and fear. IF that were true, they would "choose" to be straight because it would not be worth going through that kind of torture.
 

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Posted by Phil Hill (Member # 371) on 04-22-2003, 03:34 PM:
 
John, thanks for posting that link. I guess all that crap in that thread went on when I was out of town. I'm sorry I missed it. I certainly would have added my 2-cents and really stirred up the pot!

I was amazed to read how many misinformed and outright stupid statements were made by so-called intelligent people. Their Bible-thumping is truly just more rhetoric by bigots to probably hide their own insecurities. What a bunch of SHIT!

I am appalled by their lack of tolerance and their condoning of violence against other people. Maybe they take their cues from Saddam?

Recruitment? Forcing "their" views on others? Turn violent when someone disagree with "them"? Me thinks some of yous should look in the mirror....

I really don't know what planet some of you are on...it's not a real one. Quit smokin' that stuff!

Geeze!

>>> Phil
 

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Posted by Paul Linfesty (Member # 214) on 04-22-2003, 03:41 PM:
 
I have to say that I did not interpret Tristan's words to be homophobic at all. "Preference" can be boiled down to what someone likes or prefers. It could be predetermined biologically as much as a choice is.

As far as lifestyle goes, I do believe this is a choice. While innate sexual orientations are biologically driven, IMHO, what we decide to do about it, or what particular lifestyle we choose, is often not. For example, a person who is gay may decide to marry a person of the opposite gender, even have kids, and live a very closeted life, seeking sex in "hidden" places. I actually know married gays who are entirely open about their sexuality, but still want the so-called traditional family with kids and an opposite gendered partner. Heck, I've known a few that even had their same-gender partners SHARE a house with the marriage.

Then there are others who want to live freely and openly, not caring if others in society object.

All of these are lifestyle choices that only each person can make and deals with what comfort level they feel from within.
 

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Posted by Tristan Lane (Member # 1169) on 04-23-2003, 12:18 AM:
 
Christopher,

I carefully chose my words in my previous post. Finding a word that correctly describes a person's needs or wants is very difficult. I realize the word "choice" can have many different meanings, but my intentions were sincere. It had nothing to due with ignorance or homophobia, and I am suprised that you would feel my words could be interpereted as anything other than that of support and open-ness.
 

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Posted by Kevin Baglow (Member # 721) on 04-23-2003, 02:17 AM:
 
The whole homophobic thing is in seemingly inbedded in all cultures from way back. Obviously its simply there to perpetuate the race. Were still in the age "between technology and no technology" where the masses believe anything their told -without question.
 

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Posted by Phil Hill (Member # 371) on 04-23-2003, 03:17 AM:
 
Tristan,

I think most all people would find your words supportive of the gay and bi community. The only "choice" that is made is whether to be "out" to the world and not deny who one is.

There certainly is NO choice as to who one is inside. There is NO such thing as a choice of "preference". The many lame arguments that it is a choice is very easily dispelled by the simple fact that no one would "choose" a "lifestyle" that is constantly being attacked morally, emotionally, religiously, and yes, even physically. It is really a shame that there are sooo many that are more concerned as to what other consenting adults do, than trying to improve and better themselves. They are not only naive, but losers in life and will eventually get their just rewards at judgment time.

It is too bad that there are stereotypes that seem to do more damage than help things. There are many "closet" gay and bi people who no one would suspect as being "not straight". By the same token, there are many "effeminate" appearing men that are straight and happily married, etc. Unfortunately, the LOSERS still pick on, harass, beat up, kill them too cuz they appear gay.

Those that think being gay or bi or straight is a lifestyle choice are totally on another planet.

There is no more chance of "changing" a gay person to a straight person as there is in changing a straight person to a gay person. One is born that way and not conditioned or "recruited"... either gay or straight.

>>> Phil
 

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Posted by Matthew Nock (Member # 1575) on 04-23-2003, 08:58 AM:
 
uh oh - I sense boring debate coming on here. someone message me when this thread returns to somethime more entertaining like helping me to make sure my gaydar wasnt on the blink

*goes back to counting how many correct "blips" I got*
 

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Posted by William Phillips (Member # 1162) on 04-23-2003, 12:58 PM:
 
Bored now
Blip Blip Blip

Im going to go screaming into the foyer now.
I need a new photo.
 

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Posted by Rachel Gilardi (Member # 1016) on 04-23-2003, 02:56 PM:
 
Are you guys calling Phil boring? He's gonna kick your butt!

ZzZzZz....

Oh...huh...what? I'm AWAKE!
 

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Posted by William Phillips (Member # 1162) on 04-23-2003, 03:00 PM:
 
Not calling Phil boring, just this topic is starting to get a bit off topic. And anyway I dont understand the long words. .
 

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Posted by Phil Hill (Member # 371) on 04-23-2003, 04:19 PM:
 
You guys outta wake up! The topic started to get off track with Ms. Babe's post way back on page one.

Like most topics here, they all meander in and out and off and on "topic".

And...I'm not particularly interested if anyone's Gaydar is working, and/or their foyer...or notifying anyone when something is posted that they want to know about. Enter at your own risk.

(How'd I do, Rach?)

>>> Phil
 

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Posted by Rachel Gilardi (Member # 1016) on 04-23-2003, 08:07 PM:
 
Ms. Babe??? WHOA PHIL!

Are you talking about your sexy self again?
 

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Posted by Manny Knowles (Member # 1171) on 04-23-2003, 09:09 PM:
 
Well it seems this thread is played out for the moment. Perhaps we should retire it for now until July?
 

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Posted by Rachel Gilardi (Member # 1016) on 04-23-2003, 09:34 PM:
 
Damn Manny, have a little fun!
 

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Posted by Scott D. Neff (Member # 185) on 04-24-2003, 12:52 AM:
 
Oh well -- we gave it a try didn't we?
 

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Posted by Mathew Molloy (Member # 666) on 04-24-2003, 01:04 AM:
 
"Nobody Knows I'm Gay"
 

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Posted by Brad Haven (Member # 954) on 04-24-2003, 06:48 AM:
 
I'm bi sexual.
I've never been in the habit of broadcasting it (until now), but if someone asked me i'd tell them.
I don't believe anybody at my current cinema is aware, but i think thats more to do with being single for what seems like an eternity
 

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Posted by Manny Knowles (Member # 1171) on 04-24-2003, 07:56 AM:
 
Re: "Nobody knows I'm gay"

LOL

Reminds me of a tee-shirt I had made up as a gag for a friend. It said "Not Out Yet."
 

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Posted by Ray Bernardi (Member # 1615) on 04-24-2003, 08:35 AM:
 
I'm hetero and married with two kids. I have enough to deal with without worrying about somebody's sexual orientation. My sister is gay. What do I care? What difference does it make in my day to day life? Live and let live I say. A gay persons lifestyle does not bother me any more than my lifestyle bothers them. I have never understood homophobia. It just seems like energy wasted on something that doesn't even need to be an issue. I do my best to base my opinion of people on how they treat me. That's what I was taught. I teach my children tolerance, not hatred.
 

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Posted by Gracia L. Babbidge (Member # 582) on 04-24-2003, 12:07 PM:
 
I don't even know how many times lesbians & bi girls have checked me out or hit on me. While it is flattering, and does not bother me, it's not what I'm into! Women are crazy!

...but then there are people that have automatically assumed that I was a lesbian!
Yeah, I listen to music performed by angry women, but I listen to a lot of different music. And yes, I wear overalls, and birkenstocks - but I've also been known to wear other (more feminine) attire as well! So, who cares?

Just because I'm something of a hippy, doesn't mean that I'll everything that moves!

"I'm straight, but not narrow!"
 

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Posted by Scott D. Neff (Member # 185) on 04-24-2003, 12:40 PM:
 
Manny -- that's a great idea for a t-shirt... I might have to steal it for one of my "Straight" friends to wear when we go to pride this year.

And to all the other posts after Manny's t-shirt post... I agree. I don't remember specifically to what, but all very good points.
 

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Posted by Hillary Charles (Member # 769) on 04-24-2003, 03:52 PM:
 
Scott, how often to people tell you that you look like Matthew Perry?

Please take it as the compliment it is intended to be.
 

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Posted by William Phillips (Member # 1162) on 04-24-2003, 04:01 PM:
 
I thought he was Matthew Perry.
oooooh.
 

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Posted by Scott D. Neff (Member # 185) on 04-24-2003, 05:24 PM:
 
Could I LOOK any more like Matthew Perry?

Yeah -- I get it all the time. I dont' mind it -- it's a lot better than the Quentin Tarantino like I used to get when I had long slicked back hair and was extremely bitchy 24/7.
 

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Posted by Hillary Charles (Member # 769) on 04-24-2003, 06:31 PM:
 
LOL! Did I miss the opportunity to phrase that question in Chandler-speak!

Glad to hear your bitchiness has cleared up.
 

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Posted by Phil Hill (Member # 371) on 04-24-2003, 06:45 PM:
 
Quentin Tarantino is way cool! I love his films!

Oh, and I hate to bust yur ...ummmm bubble, but that "Nobody Knows I'm Gay" T-shirt has been "out" (pun intended) for years. I've seen it many times over the last 10+ years at the L.A. Gay Pride Parade.

>>> Phil
 

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Posted by Manny Knowles (Member # 1171) on 04-24-2003, 07:12 PM:
 
It's okay -- I'm sure my design is better.

I've been told that it's "FAGULOUS!"


 

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Posted by Phil Hill (Member # 371) on 04-24-2003, 07:18 PM:
 
Manny, I'd forget about the other thing and do the Austin Powers take-off!

The "FAGULOUS!" Shirt! ...that is funny!

>>> Phil
 

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Posted by Phil Hill (Member # 371) on 04-26-2003, 06:04 AM:
 
Manny, a T-shirt for you...


 

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Posted by Thomas Procyk (Member # 1170) on 04-26-2003, 05:56 PM:
 
Has anyone noticed that this topic's folder is flaming now?

=TMP=
 

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Posted by Manny Knowles (Member # 1171) on 04-26-2003, 08:14 PM:
 
Quick! Get a blanket and put that fire out!
 

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Posted by Gracia L. Babbidge (Member # 582) on 04-28-2003, 09:31 AM:
 
No. Run. You can run from the fire.
 

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Posted by Bruce McGee (Member # 131) on 04-28-2003, 04:54 PM:
 
Noticing that some of us look like famous folks, has anybody besides me noticed that Ray Bernardi looks a bit like Max Gail, who starred as "Wojo" on the old "Barney Miller" series?

If no, I'll just crawl back into my hole.

Regarding my own image: I dont look that gristly normally. If you want to see a scary image, look at my drivers license. I'd had a bad day, that day.
 

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Posted by Joe Redifer (Member # 3) on 04-28-2003, 09:26 PM:
 
Bruce, I just figured you were dealing with chemo or something. I liked the old pic with the Filmguard bottle.



[ 04-29-2003, 03:06 PM: Message edited by: Joe Redifer ]
 

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Posted by Bruce McGee (Member # 131) on 04-29-2003, 07:34 AM:
 
So did I, Joe, but, it's long gone. I never had a copy to save.

I guess the :bruce: is gone, too?


 

---

Posted by Brad Miller (Member # 2) on 04-29-2003, 03:32 PM:
 
It's not gone.


 

---

Posted by Bruce McGee (Member # 131) on 04-29-2003, 10:47 PM:
 
Now I have a copy of it on my hard-drive. Thanks, Brad, for keeping it for me.
 

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Posted by Mathew Molloy (Member # 666) on 06-17-2003, 02:01 AM:
 
Hey Kids, Pride weekends galore coming up! I may be loitering around the Landmark Theatres booth just inside the North Gate. Hope to see some of ya there! My boyfriend and I plan to make it up to S.F. for pride too. Life's too short not to get half-naked and sweaty with 100,000 other guys & gals.

Why do I always cry when PFLAG walks by?
 

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Posted by Daniel Fuentz (Member # 1684) on 06-17-2003, 03:15 AM:
 

quote:

---

Regarding my own image: I dont look that gristly normally. If you want to see a scary image, look at my drivers license. I'd had a bad day, that day.

---

My work ID photo is something AWFUL. It's even worse than my forum picture! Someone said I looked stoned, but since I don't do drugs this isn't possible.

Anyhow, getting back on topic, I'm not out at all, yet. (Well, I *wasn't* ) As far as people at work, I know nobody would have a problem with it as there are a few people here who are gay/lesbian, and I never hear any rude remarks behind their back. (The radio station I worked at, the PD of one station was gay and there were all sorts of rude remarks made behind his back which I didn't appreciate.) Basically, it doesn't involve anyone I work with so I haven't brought it up. (If it came up in conversation, or if someone asked, I wouldn't lie.)

Now, not to drag this thread FURTHER off topic, but I had a situation happen the other day I could use some advice on. I was in the lunchroom eating, and someone from another department came in, and somehow the conversation came around to how he doesn't like eating out becuase he hates going by himself, and I said something like I always go to the movies if I'm bored since nobody notices if you sit alone, and he said something like he's already seen all the movies that are out for that reason -- basically, I kinda sorta got the idea he was trying to "chat me up". I didn't really say anything definate becuase I don't know for sure that was the case, and if I was reading more into the conversation than there was it would be embarrasing for both of us. And since it was at work, if I was having a case of "wishful thinking" it could possibly be a sexual harassment case if I said the wrong thing. Since we work in seperate departments I don't really see him that often, but my plan is just to wait and see what happens. If the subject is brought up again, then I would be more inclined to think I wasn't imagining things.
 

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Posted by Paul Linfesty (Member # 214) on 06-17-2003, 07:56 AM:
 

quote:

---

And since it was at work, if I was having a case of "wishful thinking" it could possibly be a sexual harassment case if I said the wrong thing.

---

Only if you have a position of power over him, or have the ability to take job action if he doesn't respond the way you want him to.
 

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Posted by Robert E. Allen (Member # 1351) on 06-17-2003, 07:58 PM:
 
I must be missing something here. I can't see how this topic is related to this site. I have been on this Earth for 71 years and have been employed since 1945 and have yet to tell any fellow employee or employer about my sexual orientation. IMO it is a non-issue in employment or for this site.
 

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Posted by Brad Miller (Member # 2) on 06-17-2003, 08:07 PM:
 
You're right Robert it should be a non-issue, but it frequently is an issue for "those out at work". Anyway, this is the yak forum. They're just yakking and this thread isn't doing anyone any harm. Here are some threads on the first page of the yak forum right now.

All is well that end's well with Spam
World's Most Expensive Cities
Cow Breath effects Ozone Layer........
I have a date tonight...
BLOOMSDAY Greetings: Next year in Dublin?
Old computer issues
Recordings of Conversations
Transistor Is 50 Today
How do you pronounce your name?
July the 4th I´ll be in the States (L.A., Las Vegas, S.F.)
June trip to Bay Area

Those don't really have much to do with projection either. So big deal. Just don't click on what doesn't interest you.
 

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Posted by John Scott (Member # 520) on 06-17-2003, 09:45 PM:
 
Brad -- Don't forget the whole Kodak Tolerance thread that led to this one.

Daniel -- It sounds like at this point whether or not your coworker is gay or not is relevant to the situation. From what you describe it sounds like your coworker is lonely, and it sounds like at times you could use a friend too. Why don't you invite him to grab a bite to eat or see a movie or something like that. Its a great way to get to know him better and develop a friendship. No need to make things more difficult than they need to be.

As for my own situation. The last time this thread became active, it precipitated my own coming out at work. The reaction has been very supportive and positive. Its a non-issue in the sense that it has doesn't change anything about the work environment, but it is a real issue in the way that I no longer have to worry about "censoring" myself" when asked by coworker friends about "what I did this weekend", or about my personal life.
 

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Posted by Mathew Molloy (Member # 666) on 06-17-2003, 10:51 PM:
 
John, you're right on the money about no longer having to censor yourself. I think when some folks here talk of 'being out at work' I imagine they're thinking that all we talk about is our private lives. All it means is that we don't have to change the subject when asked who dropped us off at work, or what we're doing this weekend.

It's not like I walked into the theatre day one and said "I'm gay, if you don't approve get out!" And that's where I'm still semi-closeted. I DO censor myself when in new situations. I keep quiet about EVERYTHING I do until I make some friends and they're the ones to find out first - away from the workplace. Word gets around quickly and I've never had a problem with anyone knowing, probably because I don't make my being gay the #1 topic of conversation at work. (Well, maybe #2 - just kidding!)

Honestly, in the past I worked with a lot of guys who are either homophobic or talk the talk on the job. Talk about uncomfortable. Yet, most of them get my utmost respect because A) I know a lot of it is just talk. B) They are my elders. C) When they do find out, I get the same respect from them.

I'm sure I'd feel differently if I didn't get their respect.
 

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Posted by Manny Knowles (Member # 1171) on 06-17-2003, 11:38 PM:
 
Straight people don't have to declare verbally that they are straight. Look at how many ways straight people get to "say" that they are straight...

marriage
wedding rings
engagement rings
hand-holding in public
kissing in public
boy-girl dancing in night clubs/bars
constant chatter about "my girlfriend" or "my boyfriend"
ditto for "my husband" or "my wife"
photo of significant other on desk at work

and let's not forget...

homophobic remarks
anti-gay remarks, including jokes
gay bashing
 

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Posted by Paul Linfesty (Member # 214) on 06-18-2003, 12:49 AM:
 

quote:

---

homophobic remarks
anti-gay remarks, including jokes
gay bashing

---

Although, I think these last three might be indicative of being something OTHER than being straight!
 

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Posted by Mathew Molloy (Member # 666) on 06-18-2003, 01:23 AM:
 
Off topic - but I vote for the New Bruce photo.
 

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Posted by John Pytlak (Member # 331) on 06-18-2003, 08:27 AM:
 
http://www.kodak.com/US/en/corp/annualReport99/corporate/corpDiversity.shtml

http://www.amrgleam.com/new_page_3.htm

quote:

---

...a perfect score for policies that affect gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgender employees and their customers and investors. The companies that scored 100 percent: Aetna, American and parent AMR of Fort Worth, Apple Computer, Avaya, Eastman Kodak, Intel, J.P. Morgan, Chase & Co., Lucent Technologies, NCR, Nike, Replacements Ltd., Worldspan and Xerox. "While many of these companies have had a long commitment to gay and lesbian employees, most achieved a perfect score after adding gender identity to their nondiscrimination policies," said Kim Mills, HRC's education director. The foundation rated 320 companies.

---

quote:

---

Straight people don't have to declare verbally that they are straight. Look at how many ways straight people get to "say" that they are straight...

marriage
wedding rings
engagement rings
hand-holding in public
kissing in public
boy-girl dancing in night clubs/bars
constant chatter about "my girlfriend" or "my boyfriend"
ditto for "my husband" or "my wife"
photo of significant other on desk at work

---

This is too much of a generalisation. I'm straight and would feel very uneasy and embarrassed about doing any of the 'in public' things on this list. IMHO, these relationships, whether hetero- or homosexual, are most successfully conducted in private. As for constant chatter about other halves, the colleagues and friends I have who do this most often are gay.

My theory is that couples, both gay and straight, who feel the need to push their relationships down other people's throats (not to mention their own) in public places do so because of insecurity issues. The difference - thanks to political correctness - is that if I object to a heterosexual couple bringing their relationship into the workplace and disrupting what goes on there it's a valid objection, but if I do likewise to a gay couple, well that's homophobia.
 

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Posted by Bruce McGee (Member # 131) on 06-18-2003, 02:23 PM:
 
Thanks, Matthew.

Believe it or not, the camera died about a week after the current image was taken. Not kidding!

Gay tolerance has really improved since I was in high school.
 

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Posted by John Pytlak (Member # 331) on 06-18-2003, 02:36 PM:
 
Let's see:

I'm married for 31 years.
My wife and I both wear wedding rings.
My wife wears an engagement ring.
We still hold hands in public.
We still kiss in public.
We never were good dancers.
I talk about her and my family with co-workers.
I've got lots of family photos in my office.

I'm not insecure, I'm just happy AND secure with who I am.

People deserve to be secure and happy regardless of their race, age, nationality, religion, gender, sexual orientation, or whatever other differences we may have. It's called by many names: human rights, dignity, respect, peace, freedom, etc. Share the pride in who you are, but don't expect others to be exactly like you.
 

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Posted by Dave Williams (Member # 299) on 06-18-2003, 03:37 PM:
 
I also very secure and happy...

In another post I referred to my "fiance" and "the love of my life".

Other terms I could use that don't describe anything...

Significant Other
Partner
My Honey
My Sweetie
My Naughty Naughty Mattress Monkey...

Dave
 

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Posted by Adam Martin (Member # 641) on 06-18-2003, 04:28 PM:
 

quote:

---

As for constant chatter about other halves, the colleagues and friends I have who do this most often are gay.

---

Maybe you have never worked in an office full of women before? I have and it was quite entertaining and often educational.
 

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Posted by Gracia L. Babbidge (Member # 582) on 06-18-2003, 07:09 PM:
 
Get a gossiping group of women together, and they'll start saying things that are not only 'educational' - but of such a nature that would make an eavesdropping sailor blush!

 

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Posted by William Hooper (Member # 71) on 06-19-2003, 03:53 AM:
 

quote:

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Honestly, in the past I worked with a lot of guys who are either homophobic or talk the talk on the job. Talk about uncomfortable. Yet, most of them get my utmost respect because A) I know a lot of it is just talk. B) They are my elders. C) When they do find out, I get the same respect from them.

---

"They're already grown, & you can't raise them up again."

One of my favorite bits of efficient language from the colloquial south, used when black folks come up against hardcore people who were raised racist & who can't examine the validity of their beliefs without becoming very distressed.
 

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Posted by Joe Redifer (Member # 3) on 06-19-2003, 04:59 AM:
 
I'd like to see a "straight pride" month and parade. Why not? I'm proud to be straight. I deserve an official month and a parade. Of course when I say something like that the world would automatically assume that I am homophobic and/or hate gays, neither of which is true. But I am all for equal opportunities and that is equal.

For instance, I recently had a boss who was gay. He would very clearly give preferential treatment to other employees who were gay. Even some of those gay employees admitted that. If I were to complain to the corporate office, I'd be gay bashing and most likely dismissed from the job. However if the tables were turned and a gay employee said the straight manager was giving preferential treatment to straight people, then the manager would be fired. Lousy company, I know. But that's how it works. I hate political correctness. It'll be the end of us all.

Next time I get turned down for a high paying job, I'll pretend I'm not a straight white male and sue the company. I'll say that they didn't hire me because I was gay and maybe Muslim. The company wouldn't want headlines that read "so-and-so company refuses to hire gay Muslim" and get a bad rap.
 

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Posted by Daniel Fuentz (Member # 1684) on 06-19-2003, 05:56 AM:
 
Joe, a radio station here actually does have a "Straight Pride" parade...
 

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Posted by William Hooper (Member # 71) on 06-20-2003, 02:05 AM:
 

quote:

---

I'd like to see a "straight pride" month and parade. Why not? I'm proud to be straight. I deserve an official month and a parade. Of course when I say something like that the world would automatically assume that I am homophobic and/or hate gays, neither of which is true. But I am all for equal opportunities and that is equal.

---

quote:

---

For instance, I recently had a boss who was gay. He would very clearly give preferential treatment to other employees who were gay.

---

Sheesh, I can't even think how many folks I've worked with that kept employees from advancing & harassed them because they were black, women, gay, or just didn't fit a standard pattern. Your employer was wrong, & should have been reported. You're being motivated by the same fear to speak up that other minorities are often faced with.
 

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Posted by Joe Redifer (Member # 3) on 06-20-2003, 05:26 PM:
 
Yup. That's because being a majority nowadays is wrong and politically incorrect (especially among companies that make it a goal to be as diversified as possible... just so they can say that they are diversified). You are looked down upon for oppressing everyone else. When someone sees the majority oppressing someone, it's evil and should be stopped (agree). But when a minority oppresses a majority, it's justified as "payback" and it's seen as OK.

I don't want "white power" groups as that is just stupid. But a white history month would be cool. Too bad there isn't another month with just 28 days. Either that or we could move Black History Month to a month with 30 days just to be fair.
 

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Posted by Paul Linfesty (Member # 214) on 06-20-2003, 05:40 PM:
 
Joe

Things are changing a bit, though. Here in Bakersfield, CA, legal services for the community college system have shut down both the Martin Luther King Center and Chicano Cultural Center at our local community college for being in violation of Prop 209, which bans public educators from giving specific groups preferrential treatment.
 

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Posted by Manny Knowles (Member # 1171) on 06-21-2003, 10:56 AM:
 

quote:

---

But a white history month would be cool.

---

Joe, you IGNORANT SLUT!

Don't you get it? There are already eleven (11) months for white history.

Now, settle down or am I going to have to come over there and sort you out!?
 

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Posted by Gracia L. Babbidge (Member # 582) on 06-21-2003, 02:22 PM:
 
Discrimination and picking on people for being of a particular race, gender, faith, sexual orientation, et cetera, happens, and that sucks. However, most forms of such prejudice and bashing are generally viewed as being socially unacceptable ... with one exception.

That one instance being with attitudes towards those who are above their 'ideal weight' (I'm speaking from my relative point of view of living in the USA). And this is something I find to be both irritating, and confusing. Irritating as I am one of those curvy girls that is destined to never be as thin as a supermodel, and confusing as a very large part of the population of this country is overweight.

What gives?!?!

Now that I've bitched, I'll calm down.
 

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Posted by John Scott (Member # 520) on 06-21-2003, 02:34 PM:
 
*sigh* Its a shame that a thread for pride has turned into an argument. A too frequent occurrence most places online and offline.
 

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Posted by Leo Enticknap (Member # 534) on 06-21-2003, 03:35 PM:
 
John writes:

quote:

---

I'm not insecure, I'm just happy AND secure with who I am.

---

By the remark you're responding to I didn't mean to say that any and all kissing/hand-holding/shows of affection in public is wrong. I have no problem whatsoever with a brief show of affection when someone, for example, meets their partner after work. What gets up my nose is prolonged and exaggerated shows of affection, which are usually done for political reasons, e.g. as a way of saying 'I've got a girl/boyfriend and you haven't, so there', or 'My other half is your boss, therefore I have power over you which otherwise I wouldn't'. IHMO, far too much of that goes on in workplaces, the partnerships causing the problem being both hetero- and homosexual in equal proportion.

And people citing their families and other halves as an excuse for not pulling their weight in the workplace has plagued my working life ever since leaving school, e.g. hour-long 'phone calls to the significant other at the employer's financial expense and my workload expense, or refusal to do any overtime or work flexibly on the grounds that their family life takes priority. There are times when I get extremely annoyed at people feeling that because I'm not attached, I can be taken advantage of in this way. I'm very much looking forward to the day when I am responsible for - rather than to - these people and can actually tell them what's acceptable and what isn't.
 

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Posted by Joe Redifer (Member # 3) on 06-21-2003, 05:47 PM:
 
*sigh* There are NO white history months Manny. You just assume that there are since the other 11 months are not labeled as Black History Month. If you can show me some documentation that there are any months that are OFFICIALLY RECOGNIZED as a white history month, then you win.

Gracia, where I come from it is does not seem to be acceptable to discriminate against those who are overweight. I can see where you are coming from though, as there are plenty of jokes floating around especially on TV.

*sigh* Anyway back to "pride". I am straight. I am proud of who I am.
 

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Posted by Manny Knowles (Member # 1171) on 06-21-2003, 07:28 PM:
 
FWIW, it isn't easy being UNDERWEIGHT and gay.
 

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Posted by Gracia L. Babbidge (Member # 582) on 06-23-2003, 11:22 AM:
 
I guess it just comes down to the fact that too many people on this planet are too superficial for their own good.

Either that or television is the devil!

I know that I'm comfortable and happy with who I am and what I do, so it doesn't matter to me what others think.

Karma takes care of those the ones that are unnecessarily hateful.
 

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Posted by Tim Reed (Member # 137) on 06-23-2003, 01:20 PM:
 
Very good, Gracia.

I've always been okay with my size. I get ribbed all the time about being fat, I have ever since I was a youngster. A friend once told me I must have that look that says I'm good natured about such things... but not everyone is so good natured. It's all over TV and society in general.
 

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Posted by John Spooner (Member # 1565) on 06-23-2003, 02:02 PM:
 
Dear Tim.
An associate of mine is also on the portly side.
He has a spectacles case with the most apt wording, being a picture of the Southpark characters and the words "I`m not fat, I`m big boned!"
Regards. John Spooner. South Australia.
 

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Posted by Joe Redifer (Member # 3) on 06-23-2003, 06:49 PM:
 
Dear Tim,

I find it hard to imagine that people have the gall to say something directly to you about your weight. I mean, that's just damn rude. I don't even mention it to my friends if they lose a hair, have wrinkled clothes, gained weight, whatever. Do the people who say these things expect you guys to laugh in response? I am quite baffled.

Sincerely,
Joe Redifer
Denver. CO USA
 

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Posted by Gracia L. Babbidge (Member # 582) on 06-24-2003, 07:15 PM:
 
Joe, I think you'd be surprised at just how rude some people can be towards overweight people.
 

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Posted by Tim Reed (Member # 137) on 06-25-2003, 02:25 AM:
 
I've heard that line, John.

quote:

---

Do the people who say these things expect you guys to laugh in response?

---

It's true, Joe. Just like Rodney Dangerfield's joke, I can be sitting down to lunch, or at a party, and not have anything to eat. But, I take one bite, and I will inevitably get the "Oh, you're at it again, are ya? You're really putting it away!", or "Save some for me!"-type comments. All accompanied by laughs. Forget the fact that there might be a little guy sitting next to me, eating twice as much.

The one that really gets me is, every time you see a fat person on a TV show or in a movie, they are usually depicted as continually stuffing Twinkies in their mouths -- and making a mess of it. Understand this doesn't hurt my feelings, it's just unfunny because no one does that.

Society's prevailing assumption holds that we're slothful, have no will power, and eat all the time. That's a stereotype. While it may be true in some instances, many of us have physiological problems, and being overweight is just a fact of life.

Indeed, we're stereotyped and discriminated against -- often without the person's knowledge. WE know when it happens, but what can you do? That's life.
 

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Posted by Michael Schaffer (Member # 1204) on 06-25-2003, 05:34 AM:
 
Tim, people do not make fun of you because you are overweight. They do whatever they do because they are idiots who have lots of problems themselves. If you are overweight, and what appears to be a friendly, open, sensitive person at the same time, they just take advantage of your friendliness to hurt you. If it weren`t that, they would find something else to hurt you with.
Take me for example - I am very heavy too, but people never comment on that directly to me (I am sure they do behind my back, but I don`t care). Why? Because I am a very dominating and sometimes somewhat aggressive person, and, what makes me more dangerous is that I am rhetorically more talented than most. So they know they would get it back immediately, and they piss off and try to hurt the really nice people instead.
 

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Posted by Tim Reed (Member # 137) on 06-25-2003, 11:29 AM:
 
There might be something to that, Michael. I did get picked on a lot as a child, before I gained weight.

Maybe I just need a new attitude?

 

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Posted by Rachel Gilardi (Member # 1016) on 06-25-2003, 02:31 PM:
 
That's a good look for you Tim!

People don't understand that sometimes people are overweight for reasons other then their diet. While most people who are overweight can attest it partly to diet, very often the overweight people eat as healthy or more healthy then the average person. I for one have a medical reason why I am overweight (not saying I have the perfect diet--but I wouldn't say its any worse then normal! ), the constant teasing during my adolescents caused me to be very shy and withheld when I was younger which caused people around me to dominate me and pick on me constantly. I now (as most of my friends would tell anyone!) have low self-esteem and low self-worth...although it is completely normal to me and I don't even realize most of the time that I am making low comments about myself it pisses people who are close to me off to no end. Even though I have gotten better as I've gotten older, the 'normal' person doesn't realize the emotional damage they can do to another person just by making rude comments.
 

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Posted by Rachel Gilardi (Member # 1016) on 06-25-2003, 09:51 PM:
 
And like always, I stop conversation!
 

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Posted by Joe Redifer (Member # 3) on 06-26-2003, 02:25 AM:
 
Michael Shaffer you really need an updated pic. You ARE NOT one of the Bee Gee's! Please stop trying to look like one.
 

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Posted by Tim Reed (Member # 137) on 06-26-2003, 02:01 PM:
 
Rachel, I'm sorry to hear that. People can be cruel, and it has lasting effects. To me, you always looked like someone who exuded a lot of confidence.

It sounds like, as you get older, you realize none of those comments were based in fact, which is a good indication you're lifting yourself up.

Chin up!
 

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Posted by Evans A Criswell (Member # 381) on 06-26-2003, 02:42 PM:
 
I get a few comments, mainly from teenagers in malls and other public places, about myself. Occasionally, they make fun of me because of my very long hair. It's amazing how varied a reaction I get from different ones. Sometimes, teens will come up to me saying they they think my long hair is really cool and ask me all kinds of questions about how long it took to grow out, while others will laugh and say things, like the common line "Get a haircut!", or "Look, a girl!", or something similar.

In restaurants, I frequently get "I thought I was in the wrong one" or something like that from guys that walk in and see me from behind in front of the mirror. I'm used to it.

Having long hair is a good way to "filter" the people I come in contact with. Those that ridicule me or act negatively are probably not people I'd want to deal with, since they're likely to have a mean streak coupled with a bold type of personality. The ones that are OK with it are the more open-minded type.

As for the gay issue, lots of people wonder about me, but aren't sure. Most people probably think I'm gay. I had my appendix taken out in August 1981 and ever since, I've had a somewhat "wobbly" walk that many people associate with gayness. I've never had a girlfriend and am usually alone, and almost all my friends are guys.

As for being "out", it's an interesting issue for me. While I wouldn't say I fit into the "straight" category, I definitely don't fit will into the mainstream "gay" category either. I like guys, but have no desire to have sex with anyone, and I've found myself shunned by the gay crowd as a result. Nearly all my friends are straight guys who are either cool with the way I am, or just don't know or don't care. I don't think "coming out" and presenting myself as a gay person would be a good idea, since most people would assume incorrect things about what I meant if I did so. I knew a lot of gay people back during the 1991-1993 time period and during that time, I learned that I very little in common with them. So, I'm pretty much a loner. I have friends I get together with and do things with, but don't have any close, intimate friends.

In discussions about gayness, straightness, or whatever, I rarely see mention of anything in between the extremes. Most people want to classify people into "straight", "bi", or "gay" categories. If you don't fit well into one of those, too bad.

Long-haired guys are seldom ever gay. Back when I had short hair, I got hit on a lot by guys. After my hair got long, that rarely happened.

I've always been a misfit and I guess I always will be. In grades 1-11, I lived across the Alabama line and went to school in Cedartown, GA, (a 17-mile drive). I had no normal social life with anyone I went to school with. It was long-distance to call anyone I saw every day. When I went though college (undergraduate), I was in the 15-19 age range, always younger than everyone in my classes. In graduate school (M.S. degree), I was in the 19-20 age range, while everyone else was at least 24 or 25. Now, nearly all of the people my age are married, so most of my friends are in their 20s. I've never had hardly any friends my age in my entire life. All of this may have contributed to the way I am, but who knows?

As for being "out at work", I just let people think what they want. I never hear any rumors about myself getting back to me, but I'm sure people are curious and talk about me when I'm not around them. It's never been a problem, so I don't worry about it.

I've never lost a friend of significance due to telling them about this issue, so I don't mind opening up a little here on film-tech. I've been participating here for a long time, so I feel I'm in good company here.
 

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Posted by John Pytlak (Member # 331) on 06-26-2003, 03:57 PM:
 
Evans wrote:

quote:

---

So, I'm pretty much a loner. I have friends I get together with and do things with, but don't have any close, intimate friends.

---

Most of us have had a "loner" stage in life. Then hopefully the right person comes along to keep you company, and you aren't alone anymore.
 

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Posted by William Leland III (Member # 1400) on 06-26-2003, 04:09 PM:
 
When i was in high school, I was the skinniest person in my class. I was 5'4 and 105 lbs. The girls in my class where bigger than me. I was picked on because of my thinness. It bother me in the same manner of ya'll. What really sucked was people telling me to eat and trying to make me eat. Mainly my relatives and friends parents.

It's the opposite end of the spectrum, i was skinny and teased you where fat and teased. I hated to hear the word skinny, it felt like everyone would look at me.

It sucked being the smallest guy in my class. I don't think people understand size does matter, in high school size counted more than most things.

What helped me was I started to work out after high school and know I'm a hefty 160,5'8. Weights helped me gain weight and of course beer. Now only if i can loose the spare tire.
 

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Posted by Joe Redifer (Member # 3) on 06-26-2003, 05:40 PM:
 
I was between 5'-10" and 5'-11" all through highschool, and the most I ever weighed was 135. I got teased a lot, but not as much as a friend of mine who was even taller and skinnier. Now I am 6'-0" and around 180.
 

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Posted by Claude S. Ayakawa (Member # 1401) on 06-26-2003, 06:31 PM:
 
I think it is about time I join in with this discussion with my personal comments. I am 6 foot tall (unusual for my race at my age) and my weight right now is about 195 pounds. There was a time when I tipped the scale close to 260 pounds but I joined 24 Hour Fitness and trimmed down a lot. I pretty much look like my picture with little less hair on the top and what remains is almost white. I have been away from the gym for several months but plan to start working out again soon.

With the exception of a girlfriend I had I high school, I hardly had any contact with women during my adult life. My voice is kind of soft and a little bit on the high side and with the fact that I am not married or do not have a girlfriend, some peoiple have given me the impression that I am gay. This is not true because I have no interest whatsoever doing anything with a fellow male. Some have even considered I am gay because I photograph a lot of male bodybuilders but this is also a wrong assumption because I have also photographed a lot of female bodybuilders too. I have always admired the beautiful lines and curves of the human anatomy in both the male and female and enjoy photographing them and getting paid for it. I have a lot of friends both personal and professionally and a loving family. My friends are from all over the country, the UK and several in Japan. Some are openly gay but I have no problem with that.

-Claude
 

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Posted by Evans A Criswell (Member # 381) on 06-26-2003, 08:22 PM:
 
Speaking of being thin -- I was the skinniest, lightest person all through school. When I graduated college, I weighed 115 pounds. In the 7th grade, I was the only guy in P.E. that could not bench-press 40 pounds. I was called "toothpick" by many, and my parents were always trying to make me eat more. Because I typically made all A's, many other students picked on me all of the time for making better grades than they did and being physically slim and lightweight.

College was great because people were so much nicer. Nobody ever picked on me for being slim. I could finally wear size 30s in things by the time I finished my undergrad degree at age 19.

As for being a loner, I often feel I'm the loneliest person alive. Why else do you think I'd go to the movie theatres around here over 300 times in the past 6 years by myself? I walk in the local malls a lot for exercise and because doing so sometimes makes me feel less alone. Often, I feel a lack of ambition because I think that no matter what I accomplish, I'm still going to be alone every evening when I leave work, except for the 3 or 4 days a month when I have someone to hang out with.

It used to be fairly easy to make friends with the students at the university where I work, but now since I'm 34, that's getting much harder since the average age of the students is staying the same over time while I'm getting a year older each year. I'm out of the college age to the point that it's like there's a glass wall between the students and I. The older graduate students are usually married or close to it. A big source of pain in my life is watching friends who used to hang out with me a lot get steady girlfriends and get married and drop off the face of the earth.

As for finding a place to go to be around people, it's difficult. I don't have the desire to drink alcohol, although I'll have a beer or two if I'm with friends. Going to a straight club is pretty pointless since I'm not attracted to girls and going to a gay club is pretty pointless since I'm attracted to guys but don't have the desire to have sex with one. I've met several gay guys that stopped being friendly to me the instant they found out I had no desire to have sex. So, I don't hit on girls and don't hit on guys. I don't have any target to shoot for. I just try to keep enough acquaintances to have some people to hang around every now and then even though I have little in common with them.

It seems the ideal thing for me would be a guy who is like I am, who likes guys but doesn't want sex. Finding a person that would like to be affectionate and close without sex is like trying to find an even prime number greater than two. They just don't exist, at least not here. I had one really close friend that I met April 30, 1991. Around 1997 or 1998, we started doing a lot of things together (going out to eat, watching movies, etc) and were very close until December 2001 when he met a guy that moved in with him. The guy that moved in with him in summer 2001 was very jealous and insecure, and since he got into a sexual relationship with the guy, he forced my friend to cut me off. He just stopped calling -- I got no forewarning whatsoever. I still feel the pain from that sometimes and it gets to me.

Back to the picking on and cruelty thing -- the worst person from grades 6-11 about picking on me was a very intelligent guy who had been put up a grade who would occasionally outscore me on some of the important standardized tests. He picked on me all the time, and in the 10th grade, I had every class with him. He was very cruel at times. I found out that years ago, hefired a shotgun into someone's house and ended up having to serve time. As of two years ago, he hadn't been to college and had no degree.

I'm rambling here, but it seems to help sometimes to just write about things.
 

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Posted by Bruce McGee (Member # 131) on 06-26-2003, 09:05 PM:
 
Evans, you will meet someone that you click with eventually.

I did, and look how scary I look!!

I had the same issues when I had a friend back in the 1980's. We were very close, with no sex. He was the younger brother of an intimate friend of mine. We had MUCH in common, far more than his brother and I did. And dumbass me let him know how much I REALLY liked him one day. This ruined a 14 year friendship. I learned alot from that mistake. I've never done that again.

I was 5' 10" in high school and weighed 120 pounds. Now, I'm 5' 11"
and weigh 175. My best friend is the same height, and weighs 115 lbs. 26" waist. Only difference is that he is 44 years old and weighs no more than he did in high school. He was called skinny, and he learned to fight. Thats how he handled it.
 

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Posted by Mark Gulbrandsen (Member # 72) on 06-26-2003, 09:48 PM:
 
Joe Said....

"Now I am 6'-0" and around 180."
_________________________________________________________________
Yea Joe, but that dam finger of yours is 9'4" and weighs 278#!!

Mark
 

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Posted by Sean McKinnon (Member # 612) on 06-26-2003, 10:48 PM:
 
I am straight, and have no problem with people who are not I actually have gotten along very well with people ive worked with who had different "interests" than me. Sometimes it can be refreshing to be around people who are different than you. It gives you another perspective on life.

I used to be EXTREMELY self concious about my wieght/appearance. I am still self concious but I dont care as much as I used too. I dont really worrying as much as I used to about bieng "fat" (im 5' 11" 200lbs) but I dont think I look overwieght so I dont care anymore I am how I am. I am self concious about hygiene I wont leave the house without taking a shower and I am VERY anal about my hair (as Rach will tell ya) I was always kind of the outcast kid in middle school and stuff but now I guess I grew up and stopped caring so much about what people think so now I just be who I am (english huh) and if you dont like me I dont really care.
 

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Posted by David Favel (Member # 1125) on 06-26-2003, 11:04 PM:
 
At around 12 years old I was 6'3" & 13 stone. Consequently had virtually no fights & laughed my way through school. Honostly I don't ask any of my employees their preferences because I really don't care. Much the same as religion, a personal decision to be shared only with people you care about.
 

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Posted by Evans A Criswell (Member # 381) on 06-26-2003, 11:13 PM:
 

quote:

---

He was called skinny, and he learned to fight. Thats how he handled it.

---

Surprisingly, I've never been in a fight in my life. I'm just not programmed that way. When I was young (7th and 8th grade especially), my father tried to teach me to not take anything off anyone and fight back and never run away from anyone. He is a World War II veteran and I guess that was the common attitude back then for guys. I'm just not that way. I don't run from people but I just try to avoid having the conflicts in the first place. Since high school, I've rarely had a problem with anyone. Conflicts since then have been mental ones anyway, and have been few and far between.

My father and I are totally opposite in the way we deal with problems. When he was younger, he always charged right into what was causing it, in full attack mode. I always just tried to figure a way to either resolve it or avoid it with as little trouble as possible.

As far as being picked on nowadays (usually by teenagers or people in their early 20s) because someone is freaked out by my long hair or thinks I'm gay (which is debatable), the ones that are worst about it are of the low class, redneck variety. The ones that are bold enough to say something like that are the ones that are bold with a mean streak (the ones that have a tendency to fight). I figure such people will do themselves in eventually without needing any help from me, so I just let them be and avoid them. The solution is not to try to attack or somehow "get even" with anyone that tries to bother you. "He who seeks revenge digs two graves." People that behave that way tend to not be around long.

Back around 1991, I started caring a lot less about what people think about me than I did before. 1991 is when I started growing my hair out (which got long in 1993 and has been ever since). 1990 is when I stared buying different clothes, often in bright, wild colors. I decided that dressing a little differently and standing out a bit was more "me" than the "just blend in" attitude. I've toned down somewhat since the 1990-1994 time period, but I still get attention sometimes with things I wear.

A couple of weeks ago, a guy I talked to on occasions, when this topic of sexuality came up, told me that I always seemed "iffy" (I guess it's the best word he could think of). Another friend, whom I've known since 1995, told me it was obvious that I wasn't straight. Other friends that I've told about this aspect of myself told me it was not obvious at all. It is interesting how some people pick up on it and some don't (or claim they don't).
 

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Posted by Tim Reed (Member # 137) on 06-27-2003, 03:01 PM:
 
I guess you can either laugh, or fight when you have to. I prefer to laugh. Although, I have been in a couple of tussles, when pushed too far. Not surprisingly, it took the steam right out of the bullies.
 

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Posted by John Lasher (Member # 968) on 06-28-2003, 11:46 PM:
 
I hadn't read this topic, but I'd like to share something.

I am heterosexual, and a "WAMmer" WAM stands for Wet and Messy. Which, basically means I'm turned on sexually by the image of a woman getting wet and/or messy preferably (for me, anyway) while fully clothed (Ann-Margaret in "Tommy", Natalie Wood in "The Great Race", Kate Winslet(sp?) in "Titanic")

This does not mean that any image of a woman featuring a messy substance arouses me. There's a 3 Stooges short titled "In The Sweet Pie and Pie" which is said to contain "the mother of all Stooges pie fights" which does nothing for me. There's another 3 Stooges short called "Spooks" that I only saw once on AMC years ago, there was only one female, she took one pie to the face. Just the memory of it... well you get the idea.

I have gradually been coming out of the closet with my friends. My family is slowly and reluctantly accepting this as part of me. ("Dammit! I knew we shouldn't have let him watch 'Double Dare' and 'You Can't Do That on TV' when he was a kid!")
I don't talk about it at work because, quite frankly, I don't feel a need to. Now if, on a slow day, one of my co-workers were to, out of the blue (for the sake of not just standing around staring at the clock) ask me about it I'd probably say something along the lines of "It's none of your business, but since you asked..."
My fetish is definitely influencing my filmmaking. (If you're so inclined, you can probably find out plenty about the late-great Rob Blaine, at the link below.)

More info on the subject is available at www.umd.net .

WARNING! THIS SITE DOES CONTAIN ADULT MATERIAL!
 

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Posted by Evans A Criswell (Member # 381) on 06-29-2003, 11:15 PM:
 
I believe that everyone has some sort of interesting property that makes them different in some way. Like someone said before, it's refreshing to know people that are different in ways. I enjoy being friends with people that have some unusual qualities. Veriety is the spice of life. The best friends to have are those that are accepting of you and remain your friends even if they know your quirks and secrets.

As for the WAM issue, there is something about it that excites or stimulates a lot of people, even though few will admit to it. I think most people find some things stimulating that should logically not be sexually exciting or stimulating. Seeing someone get wet or messed up with their clothes on? I've always found that interesting and stimulating for some reason, although I have no idea why -- even as a kid, years before I knew anything about sex. Same for pie fights and stuff. It may be some kind of combination of comedy and embarrassment emotions blending into and affecting other aspects of out emotions. Let's say you see a person you find attractive (whether it be guy or girl, whatever works for you) and like the clothes they have on (whatever you like) and you see them get thrown into a swimming pool and they come out with the soaking wet clothes on. There's something exciting and stimulating about that and it's hard to explain. It may even make you want to jump into the swimming pool yourself fully dressed. It's quite interesting.

I notice that in many fashion ads, wet clothes are often used. I remember Abercrombie and Fitch ads with guys coming out of a lake with wet cargo pants on, and many others through the years. I admit that I like it, and the people that make these ads know that it appeals to a lot of people, or they wouldn't use the concept. I've never read anything about any research done to explore why this type of thing works, but it would be interesting to know more about it.

Back to the gay topic: Last night, a tire went flat on my car just east of Cedartown, GA on US278. I was very close to a business, which I recognized as the skating rink I used to go to long ago, so I pulled into the parking lot so I'd have enough light to change the tire. Two guys came up and we started talking. They helped some, and I told them that I went to that skating rink often from 1982 to 1986 and my father taught school there in Cedartown from 1972 until 1990, and that I went to school there for grades 1-11. I asked if Butch Cleland still ran the rink and they said he still owned it. The point is, I talked to these two guys about fixing the tire and about the skating rink, and about my previous involvements with Cedartown, which seemed to go well in starting a conversation. After a few minutes, the two guys went back inside the place, and on the way in, I heard one of the guys tell the other one, "That guy was gay!". This tells me there is something about me that sends that signal, since I would have never imagined that conversation I had with them would have done that in any way. I was messing with jacking the car up and loosening the lug nuts the whole time while talking to them! What the heck did I do to send a "gay" image? I'm baffled. If this is the case, I obviously have mannerisms that send a gay image that are a permanent part of me that will not change, if I don't even realize what they are when I'm doing them.
 

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Posted by Tim Reed (Member # 137) on 06-30-2003, 02:56 AM:
 
To hell with them, Evans. Just be yourself, you're a unique individual.

I have the "problem" of a southern accent. When I was in broadcasting years ago, I learned to get rid of it. Since I've been out of that field, I've let it gradually slip back in. Since it takes a concious effort to control, I don't worry about it too much unless I have to do a voiceover for one of my trailers. The point of all this is, people have judged me based on my accent, particularly in the north and east. They assume I'm a dumb hillbilly.

Years ago, after realizing that most people everywhere have some kind of accent -- many even more ridiculous than mine -- I adopted the attitude that, if people couldn't judge me based on my merits, then they weren't worth the effort. I still used the same words in my speech and prose that I always used, only now (i.e., when I was servicing theatres) I would've went into any booth in the country and greeted everyone with a friendly "howdy", and let the chips fall where they may! They'll get over it. And if they don't... that's their problem.

I repeat, the moral of the story is: just be yourself. You will be a more complete individual if you are true to yourself, instead of trying to fit someone else's mold or expectations. Your friends will rise above the superficial.
 

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Posted by System Notices (Member # 2357) on 08-05-2004, 09:45 PM:
 

It has been 402 days since the last post.

 

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Posted by Manny Knowles (Member # 1171) on 08-05-2004, 09:45 PM:
 
Oh my goodness!

Look what I found!
 

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Posted by Steve Kraus (Member # 476) on 08-05-2004, 10:43 PM:
 
Purpose to your life?
 

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Posted by Manny Knowles (Member # 1171) on 08-05-2004, 10:46 PM:
 
Maybe. At least my life seems to have purpose. Jealous?
 

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Posted by Steve Kraus (Member # 476) on 08-05-2004, 10:50 PM:
 
Yes.
 

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Posted by Richard Greco (Member # 2032) on 08-05-2004, 11:03 PM:
 
I will say, I have just read this thread and applaud everyone on their courageousness that wrote of their affiliation.

I myself am straight and have similar tendencies to Evan's with being a loner. I, however am desperate to meet people and am starting to break out of my shell and meet women and gain a few friends at the same time. I am 6'6" and 238 pounds so I'm really hard to miss. I am currently in college living with my parents and I want to desperately move on with my life...THAT's why I'm going out more...meeting people and not vegetating on my couch anymore.

That felt good to get off my chest...
 

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Posted by Chris Hipp (Member # 1788) on 08-06-2004, 04:29 AM:
 
Well first off, I am not gay at all. As for the gay issue, I think it should jsut be dont ask dont tell. Do what you want (straight or gay) but it shouldnt be advertised and forced in everyones faces. I dont like "PDA" at all and I think all of that should go on behind closed doors. All that stuff should be kept private, gay or straight.

Now as far as this loner issue goes, I can relate. I hate going out and doing stuff. Even worse I hate being around tons of people I dont know. I really dont keep friends because they always want to bug me about doing stuff. I prefer to have people that you talk to maybe once a week or so and occasionally do stuff together, after that it just gets annoying. I would much rather work, stay at home and read or watch a movie or something. Of course, you have to keep arrangements set up with the females, that is just a bodily function that has to be taken care of.
Now I dont jsut sit around all day and eat fried chicken and watch Dr Phil, I wouldnt suggest anyone do that, but I hate how people think you dont have a life jsut becasue you dont go out to clubs and bars and whatnot.

As for the fat issue, well, I am by no means fat but I am going bald and people liek to make fun of me but I just go " yeah, so who cares" that usually puts an end to it. If you dont let it get to you then t hey will do as Michael said and go find a weaker person to make fun of.
 

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Posted by Daryl C. W. O'Shea (Member # 1303) on 08-06-2004, 04:47 AM:
 

quote: Chris Hipp

---

Of course, you have to keep arrangements set up with the females, that is just a bodily function that has to be taken care of.

---

quote:

---

When the 21-year old John Nash wrote his 27-page dissertation outlining his "Nash Equilibrium" for strategic non-cooperative games, the impact was enormous. On the formal side, his existence proof was one of the first applications of Kakutani's fixed-point theorem later employed with so much gusto by Neo-Walrasians everywhere; on the conceptual side, he spawned much of the literature on non-cooperative game theory which has since grown at a prodigious rate - threatening, some claim, to overwhelm much of economics itself.

When the young Nash had applied to graduate school at Princeton in 1948, his old Carnegie Tech professor, R.J. Duffin, wrote only one line on his letter of recommendation: "This man is a genius". It was at Princeton that Nash encountered the theory of games, then recently launched by John von Neumann and Oskar Morgenstern. However, they had only managed to solve non-cooperative games in the case of "pure rivalries" (i.e. zero-sum). The young Nash turned to rivalries with mutual gain. His trick was the use of best-response functions and a recent theorem that had just emerged - Kakutani's fixed point-theorem. His main result, the "Nash Equilibrium", was published in 1950 in the Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences. He followed this up with a paper which introduced yet another solution concept - this time for two-person cooperative games - the "Nash Bargaining Solution" (NBS) in 1950. A 1951 paper attached his name to yet another side of economics - this time, the "Nash Programme", reflecting his methodological call for the reduction of all cooperative games into a non-cooperative framework.

His contributions to mathematics were no less remarkable. As an undergraduate, he had inadvertently (and independently) proved Brouwer's fixed point theorem. Later on, he went on to break one of Riemann's most perplexing mathematical conundrums. From then on, Nash provided breakthrough after breakthrough in mathematics.

In 1958, on the threshold of his career, Nash got struck by paranoid schizophrenia. He lost his job at M.I.T. in 1959 (he had been tenured there in 1958 - at the age of 29) and was virtually incapicated by the disease for the next two decades or so. He roamed about Europe and America, finally, returning to Princeton where he became a sad, ghostly character on the campus - "the Phantom of Fine Hall" as Rebecca Goldstein described him in her novel, Mind-Body Problem.

The disease began to evaporate in the early 1970s and Nash began to gradually to return to his work in mathematics. However, Nash himself associated his madness with his living on an "ultralogical" plane, "breathing air too rare" for most mortals, and if being "cured" meant he could no longer do any original work at that level, then, Nash argued, a remission might not be worthwhile in the end.

---

 

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Posted by Gordon McLeod (Member # 33) on 08-06-2004, 11:08 AM:
 
"Try being the oldest person at work... by about 15 years. I get lots of old jokes, 'pappy' remarks, 'old fart' jokes, etc. My greying balding head gets lots of remarks too."
I don't know about that at the cinesphere I am definetly the oldest person there but it keeps one young to be working with all these young gorgeous.............. hubba hubba
 

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Posted by Leo Enticknap (Member # 534) on 08-06-2004, 01:41 PM:
 

quote: Bruce McGee

---

Try being the oldest person at work... by about 15 years.

---

Also, try being the only person at work who is not married and bringing up a young family. As a result of being in this situation I'm starting to get seriously offpissed at the widespread belief that having children gives someone the de facto right to behave selfishly towards, and place unreasonable demands on, colleagues who don't. To be fair, that's not everybody. In particular, I have one colleague with a three year-old who works tremendously hard to ensure that his family commitments don't get in the way of doing his job (no small feat, as he's looking after elderly parents as well as the child), and if he does ever ask for help over and beyond the call of duty, you know there's a genuine and unavoidable reason. But he really is the exception which proves the rule.

Throughout my working career I've had to deal with many colleagues - mostly women, it has to be said - who believe that their offspring allows them the expectation of being treated as gods and the right to treat others like dirt. There are exceptions to this rule too, but I have found it to be a rule. Having been bought up in a single-parent family myself I know that this attitude is selfish and unnecessary, and a result of the women in my generation having been bought up to believe that they have a plethora of rights but no responsibilities to go with them. If I ever get married and have children myself I wouldn't be able to sleep at night if I took some of the liberties which my colleagues have done on the pretext of family commitments.

Oh, and if that isn't enough, you could also try being the only person at work who does not hold extreme left-wing political beliefs... but for obvious reasons we won't go there.
 

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Posted by Tony Bandiera Jr (Member # 2365) on 08-06-2004, 01:49 PM:
 
Wow, where did this thread come out of the closet from?

Now it's my turn: I've been out for many years, it was the manager and his boyfriend at one of my theatres who told me "For God's sakes, everybody knows already! So just come out." And I did. I'd known myself since I was 11, but was too chicken to admit it.

I guess the biggest surprise was, all during my motocross days, virtually everyone knew and didn't care. Even when I worked as a race official up north, no one cared. Some riders thought of me as their gay older brother!!

Regardless of orientation thogh, I do believe that PDA should not happen in the workplace. Save it for dates and time at home!

I also respect those who think that being gay is "wrong". Sure it is, for them. I don't bag on heteros because they like girls. But a news flash for everyone: doesn't matter what you like, relationship issues are EXACTLY the same with any couple, the ONLY difference is the mechanics of the !!

Every one of us is unique in many ways, that's what makes meeting new people so rewarding! So it really shouldn't matter where you dip your wick, as long as you respect others in your actions.

Now for some fun: Can y'all guess how old I really am? Hint: My member pic is old, look closely at the bike to guess the year. I was 29 when that pic was taken!
 

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Posted by Joe Redifer (Member # 3) on 08-06-2004, 01:56 PM:
 
84! (Your age, not the year the pic was taken.) [av=m]
 

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Posted by Tony Bandiera Jr (Member # 2365) on 08-06-2004, 02:01 PM:
 
Meow!!! Not even close, Joe!
 

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Posted by Jason Black (Member # 684) on 08-06-2004, 02:11 PM:
 
That red/white YZ gives me the idea that that pic is from the early 90's. I forget what year Yamaha switched up from Yellow/Black to Red/White then finally to blue for the YZ lineup..

I think that pic is about 12-14 years old...
 

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Posted by Steve Scott (Member # 630) on 08-06-2004, 02:29 PM:
 
Straight w/o boundaries.

While I'm only attracted to women (at this time) and I have an awesome girlfriend, I have a lot of bi or gay friends. Actually, my last three girlfriends have been Bi (my current girlfriend's had more GFs than boyfriends in her 26 years) We go to Rocky Horror and flirt with everybody, too. I don't keep myself from friendships because of who people chose to desire.

I've worked with a few people who were out where I worked, but working in the Lutheran suburbs of MN is different from living in the unquestioning city.
 

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Posted by Dan Lyons (Member # 1454) on 08-06-2004, 04:11 PM:
 

quote:

---

Now for some fun: Can y'all guess how old I really am? Hint: My member pic is old, look closely at the bike to guess the year. I was 29 when that pic was taken!

---

Your birthdate is listed on your profile. What do I win?

danny
 

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Posted by Phil Hill (Member # 371) on 08-06-2004, 05:41 PM:
 
Tony, you need to update your pic... else "we" have the right to post what *WE* think you look like now.

And trust me, it ain't very "pretty"

BTW: Is that an ad for the world-famous YAMALUBE in the background of your "old" pic?

>>> Phil
 

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Posted by Manny Knowles (Member # 1171) on 08-06-2004, 06:37 PM:
 
Phil should not have too much to say about somebody posting a "dated" photo of himself!

Ya know...I was wondering how Tony managed to keep himself so well-preserved.

Motocross! Ah! Now I get it! Rarely do we get so much "crotch" in a "crotch-rocket" photo. Thanks!

And here I was thinking those were your Spiderman pyjamas!
 

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Posted by Phil Hill (Member # 371) on 08-06-2004, 09:59 PM:
 
Manny! WTF RU smokin'?

You know GD well that my "Pirate" pic is from last Halloween's gathering at Brad's house since YOU were there too.

Also, I have NO control over what pic of me our Grand-Poo-BAH decides to post. He posts whatever he damn well pleases no matter how much I plead or threaten him.

You sir, I think just like to cause trouble!

Yours in Christ,

>>> Phil
 

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Posted by Tony Bandiera Jr (Member # 2365) on 08-07-2004, 12:49 AM:
 
Wow! What a response! You guys are why I love this site so much!!
Jason: Right on the money. Pic was about 12 years ago. Think Yamaha went blue in '94.
Dan: Blasted profile!! Should have blanked out my B/Date, oh well. How about dinner? Email me.
Phil: Oh, stop you silly. And you're absolutely right, that is a genuine Yamalube banner from my dealer back then!
Manny: Thanks for the compliments! Glad you like the pic, too. Those aren'tSpiderman PJ's but back then all the riding gear was pink, purple, flourescent colors. Yikes! I do have two pairs of Spiderman boxers, though....

Because of my profile, the "contest" is closed. Thanks to those who played.
 

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Posted by Jason Black (Member # 684) on 08-07-2004, 01:20 AM:
 
Pays to know your bikes.. LOL
 

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Posted by Manny Knowles (Member # 1171) on 08-07-2004, 01:24 AM:
 

quote: Tony Bandiera Jr

---

I do have two pairs of Spiderman boxers, though....

---

THAT might make for an interesting photo of your member...i mean...member photo.
 

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Posted by Tony Bandiera Jr (Member # 2365) on 08-07-2004, 01:43 AM:
 
Manny: You scamp. Don't think Brad (and a good number of other Film-Tech'ers) would want to see that!
 

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Posted by Manny Knowles (Member # 1171) on 08-07-2004, 01:48 AM:
 
Good point.

(email it)

j/k -- i'm in a wicked mood tonight.
 

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Posted by Phil Hill (Member # 371) on 08-07-2004, 01:50 AM:
 
Dear Moderators: Please EXCLUDE me from the Tony List of PJ's, Underwear, his "member" pics and all other of his small items.

(And PLEEEZE do NOT email me any pics!)

Thanks!

Yours in Christ,

>>> Phil
 

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Posted by Tony Bandiera Jr (Member # 2365) on 08-07-2004, 01:53 AM:
 
SMALL ITEMS, Phil?!?! Been looking in the mirror again?
 

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Posted by Phil Hill (Member # 371) on 08-07-2004, 02:03 AM:
 
Ok Tony... prove it! Email me your "member" photo.

>>> Phil
 

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Posted by Tony Bandiera Jr (Member # 2365) on 08-07-2004, 02:22 AM:
 
Phil: You naughty, dirty coot!!

Only my fellow motocrossers have had the honor of seeing my monoshock in all its glory. They have bowed down in the presence of its greatness!

Besides, I don't have any pics of mine, anyway. I see it every day. And besides:

quote: Phil Hill

---

Dear Moderators: Please EXCLUDE me from the Tony List of PJ's, Underwear, his "member" pics and all other of his small items.

(And PLEEEZE do NOT email me any pics!)

Thanks!

Yours in Christ,

>>> Phil

---

quote: Tony Bandiera Jr

---

I don't have any pics of mine

---

quote: Manny Knowles

---

May I suggest this ?

---

I double - dog dare you guys to click on that link!!
 

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Posted by Daryl C. W. O'Shea (Member # 1303) on 08-07-2004, 03:06 AM:
 
You'll probably need this to go with it.
 

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Posted by Phil Hill (Member # 371) on 08-07-2004, 03:20 AM:
 
Actually Daryl, I was thinking more along THIS line for the "true" picture.

>>> Phil
 

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Posted by Bruce McGee (Member # 131) on 08-07-2004, 08:11 AM:
 
Wow. Things just seem to be getting smaller and smaller here. What is this? Munchkinland?
 

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Posted by Tony Bandiera Jr (Member # 2365) on 08-07-2004, 01:52 PM:
 
Nah, Bruce. But I find it interesting that they know exactly where to find those items....
 

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Posted by Jeremy Fuentes (Member # 2135) on 08-07-2004, 05:21 PM:
 
It's probably safer for me to wait until I get on my home computer to click those links, am I right?
 

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Posted by Phil Hill (Member # 371) on 08-07-2004, 05:29 PM:
 
Nah Jeremy. We're just making sure we have the right equipment to properly photograph Tony's "monoshock in all its glory"!

>>> Phil
 

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Posted by Manny Knowles (Member # 1171) on 08-07-2004, 05:34 PM:
 
Monoshock...the stunned reaction to finding out that some guy/gal gave you mono?
 

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Posted by Tony Bandiera Jr (Member # 2365) on 08-07-2004, 11:00 PM:
 

quote: Manny Knowles

---

Monoshock...the stunned reaction to finding out that some guy/gal gave you mono?

---

That's a good one...got to remember it. I've never had mono, I only go for stereo

For the unwashed masses, a monoshock is the rear shock on most modern motocross/street bikes.

My ex, who was a racer too, coined the phrase "servicing the monoshock" so we could talk dirty at the track while leaving most of the guys clueless.
 

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Posted by Dan Lyons (Member # 1454) on 08-08-2004, 05:10 AM:
 

quote: Tony Bandiera Jr

---

My ex, who was a racer too, coined the phrase "servicing the monoshock" so we could talk dirty at the track while leaving most of the guys clueless.

---

That's HOT.
 

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Posted by Josh Jones (Member # 447) on 08-08-2004, 12:32 PM:
 
Servicing the monoshock, eh? Just say you have to go and adjust the preload

That will turn heads, especially in a dumb crowd.

Josh
 

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Posted by Tony Bandiera Jr (Member # 2365) on 08-08-2004, 01:36 PM:
 

quote: Josh Jones

---

Servicing the monoshock, eh? Just say you have to go and adjust the preload

That will turn heads, especially in a dumb crowd.

---

Good one, Josh! Mine's set at 220mm
 

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Posted by Phil Hill (Member # 371) on 08-08-2004, 03:53 PM:
 
Yeah, good one, Josh. But I enjoy the postload much better.

>>> Phil
 

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Posted by Tony Bandiera Jr (Member # 2365) on 08-08-2004, 11:19 PM:
 
There's a lot to be said for the postload.

BTW, new pic coming soon...
 

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Posted by William Hooper (Member # 71) on 08-09-2004, 02:57 AM:
 

quote: Leo Enticknap

---

Also, try being the only person at work who is not married and bringing up a young family

---

Aggravates me, too. After all the "I've got to leave early to take my son to his band practice", "I'm leaving early to pick up my kids", etc., you find that not only are you subsidizing them with the group health insurance, you're doing more work.

I just started kicking out early when it looked good & saying "I've got to take my daughter to the horse show", "I'm picking up my kids from the crack house", etc. Let 'em say something.
 

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Posted by Jason Black (Member # 684) on 08-09-2004, 08:28 AM:
 
It isn't the preoad you need to worry over, it's the rebound dampening. Don't want anyone flying off during a little bumpin' action now, do we?

Scumbags.... we're all scumbags... LOL..

ESPECIALLY YOU PHIL.
 

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Posted by Evans A Criswell (Member # 381) on 08-09-2004, 09:36 AM:
 
Hmmm. This thread is back!

Since I last posted, I'm not as lonely as I was. I have a lot more friends but most of the social activities are in groups rather than one-on-one, something I really miss, but at least the more frequent social activities have kept me from getting deeply depressed. Back in late February and March, I started meeting a lot of local people on LiveJournal (I'm "chris21718" if anyone here uses that and would like to add me).

At work, I guess it's a lot more obvious that I'm the way I am, since I have a Ken doll collection (over 30 dolls) in my office and wear rainbow belts sometimes and am wearing pink shirts more often. I wonder how many people at work know how I am.

What gets me is some people who meet me, when told I'm the way I am by others, are genuinely surprised and say they would have never known, while others say "it's obvious". It's interesting to me that some people just pick up on it while others don't.

Also, more people know me as "Chris" now than as "Evans".
 

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Posted by Phil Hill (Member # 371) on 08-09-2004, 04:38 PM:
 

quote: Jason Black

---

Scumbags.... we're all scumbags

---

quote: Evans A Criswell

---

What gets me is some people who meet me, when told I'm the way I am by others, are genuinely surprised

---

I am the way I am.

Are you the way I am?
 

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Posted by Bruce McGee (Member # 131) on 08-09-2004, 08:42 PM:
 
I am who I am. I have no problem with you being you.
 

---

Posted by Phil Hill (Member # 371) on 08-09-2004, 09:17 PM:
 
Well, I'm NOT who I am and I don't care who yous are...

>>> Phil
 

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Posted by Chris Hipp (Member # 1788) on 08-09-2004, 09:57 PM:
 
A horse is a horse of course
 

---

Posted by Jason Black (Member # 684) on 08-09-2004, 11:51 PM:
 
Phil..

That wasn't a frog in my pocket.. and I'm not *that* excited to see you.....

Pigs... we're all pigs.. lying about in the vile filth of the earth...

Any better Phil? (I didn't think so either.. lol.. )
 

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Posted by Phil Hill (Member # 371) on 08-10-2004, 12:30 AM:
 

quote: Jason Black

---

...I'm not *that* excited to see you...

---

Hmmm... OK Jason. But I'm STILL always ***THAT*** excited to see YOU!

>>> Phil
 

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Posted by Jason Black (Member # 684) on 08-10-2004, 12:36 AM:
 
As I knew you would be... LOL... ya scumbag...
 

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Posted by Manny Knowles (Member # 1171) on 08-11-2004, 12:10 AM:
 

quote: Chris Hipp

---

A horse is a horse of course

---

That's what I said...

"I am the way I am."
 

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Posted by Phil Hill (Member # 371) on 08-11-2004, 01:00 AM:
 

quote: Manny Knowles was the last to post

---

"I am the way I am."

---

You sound like "Popeye the Sailor"!

>>>Phil
 

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Posted by Paul Mayer (Member # 355) on 08-11-2004, 01:03 AM:
 
No, that would be "I yam what I yam."
 

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Posted by Chris Hipp (Member # 1788) on 08-11-2004, 01:28 AM:
 
Sorry Manny, doesn't look like anyone got your joke. Unfortunately, I did.
 

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Posted by Phil Hill (Member # 371) on 08-11-2004, 01:58 AM:
 
Oh PULEEZE Chris! We ALL got his joke and WE ignored it!

But! I bet YOU failed to get his underlining meaning directed to you. ALL the rest of us did!

So Manny, please enlighten young Chris...

>>> Phil
 

---

Posted by Chris Hipp (Member # 1788) on 08-11-2004, 02:12 AM:
 
hmm...sounds like someone didn't get the joke and is trying to hide it...Just like in the reviews, one person comments on something and then everyone else comments on it when you know they would have never caught it if it had not already been brought up.
 

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Posted by Manny Knowles (Member # 1171) on 08-11-2004, 07:00 PM:
 
Dear Diary: Chris Hipp has an even dirtier mind than Phil!
 

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Posted by Phil Hill (Member # 371) on 08-11-2004, 07:12 PM:
 
Dear Diary: I have NO clue as to what Manny's talking about. I think he's on dope! I wash my mind out EVERY night before going to bed.

>>> Phil
 

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Posted by Manny Knowles (Member # 1171) on 08-11-2004, 07:15 PM:
 
Dear Phil:

Sounds like an awful lot of washing! Remember Lady Macbeth? No amount of washing cleansed her hands of her evil deed.

Like the first time,
Manny's Diary.
 

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Posted by Leo Enticknap (Member # 534) on 08-12-2004, 05:14 AM:
 

quote: William Hooper

---

I just started kicking out early when it looked good & saying "I've got to take my daughter to the horse show", "I'm picking up my kids from the crack house", etc. Let 'em say something.

---

Maybe I could persuade Mogzilla to show an interest in next door's ginger tom and then demand carers' leave when the kittens come along...
 

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Posted by John Anastasio (Member # 607) on 08-12-2004, 08:15 PM:
 
Geez...I'm out and I live in New Jersey. Maybe I should run for governor. Now I know why he was smiling when I told him I was behind him all the way.
 

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Posted by Jason Black (Member # 684) on 08-13-2004, 12:13 AM:
 
John...

Bwaaaa ahhhhh ahhhhhh haaaaa haaaaaaa...

Great post...
 

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Posted by Chris Hipp (Member # 1788) on 08-13-2004, 03:01 AM:
 
I would just like to take a second to re-assert my heterosexuality. I sure am proud to be me.
 

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Posted by Jason Black (Member # 684) on 08-13-2004, 10:25 AM:
 
Chris,

Are you sure? I mean, you had to re-iterate... LOL...

Can't believe Phil beat me to it...
 

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Posted by Manny Knowles (Member # 1171) on 08-13-2004, 03:41 PM:
 

quote: Chris Hipp

---

I would just like to take a second to re-assert my heterosexuality. I sure am proud to be me.

---

To quote Shakespeare (again) ...

"Methinks the lady doth protest too much..."

Straight members take note: Repeated assertions that you are straight WILL AUTOMATICALLY BE ASSUMED to mean that you are STILL IN THE CLOSET.
 

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Posted by Jennifer Pan (Member # 2035) on 08-13-2004, 04:20 PM:
 

quote: Manny Knowles

---

Straight members take note: Repeated assertions that you are straight WILL AUTOMATICALLY BE ASSUMED to mean that you are STILL IN THE CLOSET.

---

I totally agree
 

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Posted by Tony Bandiera Jr (Member # 2365) on 08-13-2004, 04:31 PM:
 
I'll drink to that!
 

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Posted by Phil Hill (Member # 371) on 08-13-2004, 04:40 PM:
 

quote: Jason Black

---

Can't believe Phil beat me to it...

---

quote:

---

traight members take note: Repeated assertions that you are straight WILL AUTOMATICALLY BE ASSUMED to mean that you are STILL IN THE CLOSET.

---

Well that is fine, I have never cared what people think. However, I jsut have to ask, if someone saying that they are straight is hiding that they are gay then what is a gay pride parade or a gay day or any of that gay stuff hiding? Maybe I don't want to know though.

It must be another one of those double standards. IF you are gay it is ok to say you are proud of yourself. But hey, if you are straight and proud that you are not gay, then you must be some sort of evil bigot. Well, my apologies for being the norm
 

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Posted by Manny Knowles (Member # 1171) on 08-14-2004, 04:02 AM:
 
Don't be silly, Chris. Gay people get out and assert their pride because they are so often made to feel ashamed of being gay.

There has never been a reason to feel ashamed of being straight. This is why you run the risk of coming off as an insensitive imbecile when you barge into a "gay pride" thread and attempt to make it all about you and how straight you might be.

That talk of "double standards" is pure bullshit. Take a look at this list of minorities that -- at one time or another, for one reason or another -- have been underpriviledged or discriminated against:

Women
Blacks
Jews
Gays

Men -- particularly straight, white men -- have never been on the list. There's no double standard. You guys have historically been the bad guys.

If y'all ever end up on the "hated" list, THEN and ONLY THEN, would I ever entertain the notion of "white history month" or "straight pride."

...and, now that you have made me think about it, why should you be proud of being straight? What's to be proud of? You guys are nothing but trouble.

My advice to you would be to stay out of these threads if they upset you. Or go start a "straight pride" thread if you really feel that strongly about it. And, should you get upset when assholes like me come along to piss all over YOUR parade...just remember that you're on-the-record as being opposed to "those double-standards."

You wouldn't want Brad to go changing "Hippinator" to "Hippocrite" would you?
 

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Posted by Jennifer Pan (Member # 2035) on 08-14-2004, 04:05 AM:
 
Go Manny...Go Manny...
 

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Posted by Dan Lyons (Member # 1454) on 08-14-2004, 04:31 AM:
 
Let's not have this thread turn into that arguement again. Look back to the beginning and you'll see that's what happened a year or two ago.
If you don't want to come out, or you are str8, then don't read or post on this thread.
 

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Posted by Chris Hipp (Member # 1788) on 08-14-2004, 11:45 AM:
 
This thread does not upset me at all. If you read my previous posts I have no problem with people being gay and have never treated a gay person with any disrespect because of it. If someone is gay then it does not affect my life in anyway so I do not worry myself with it.

You just proved my point Manny, it is as if it is wrong to be the majority in today society. That is what bothers me, whether it be on race, sexual preference, gender or whatever else.

As far as your list of minorities, go open a history book and then get back to me when you find out that caucasion males have not always been the dominant majority.

I was not trying to start any arguments in this thread or cause any problems but there are double standards at work and anyone that would defend those is a hypocrite.
 

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Posted by Manny Knowles (Member # 1171) on 08-14-2004, 12:43 PM:
 

quote: Chris Hipp

---

it is as if it is wrong to be the majority in today society. That is what bothers me...

---

quote: Wolff King Morrow

---

...those who've been through it should rise above it or the cycle will never end...

---

Exactly...and that's what Black History Month, Women's Lib and Holocost museums are all about. It's also what Gay Pride is there for. Ditto for "coming out week" and even threads like this one.

Too bad some straight guys start feeling "left out" and decide to hijack and/or belittle the significance of these events.

And, with that, I'll say no more (by popular demand).
 

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Posted by Jeremy Fuentes (Member # 2135) on 08-14-2004, 01:20 PM:
 
I'm proud to say that this thread is boring me. It can only end one way, and thats most likely with it being locked and people being banned, and thats just stupid. When that happens to those who are arguing, I hope you are proud of having that happen to another member or yourself. How long has it been in this thread since someone answered the question in the topic. Probably too long, so I think we should just get back on topic here.

quote: Manny Knowles

---

And, with that, I'll say no more (by popular demand).

---

I bet this will be proven to be a lie.

And as far as the topic goes, I'm straight, but I guess me saying that would be off-topic wouldnt it.
 

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Posted by Mike Olpin (Member # 1115) on 08-14-2004, 02:04 PM:
 
OK I've removed my post and just staying out of it.

No matter what I write in this stupid little sqaure someones going to have beef with it, and inso dong, miss the entire point.

I feel no need to make enemies of any of you. Theres no need to go to WW3 over this.

If you need me, I'll be over in the three word game.
Questions or Comments are welcome via personal e-mail.

[ 08-14-2004, 04:15 PM: Message edited by: Mike Olpin ]
 

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Posted by Chris Hipp (Member # 1788) on 08-14-2004, 02:34 PM:
 
Personally, I don't see what is wrong with a healthy debate. Noone is making fun of anyone here and I cant see any reason why the thread would be locked if this discussion were to continue.

However, since political correctness arguments never go anywhere, mostly becasue being politically correct requires you to ignore reality, I will just spit in my last two cents.

I will never be ashamed of who I am or the history of my people/family. I have never denied that my family owned slaves in the 1800's. It is a part of my family's history. I also don't think anyone should be ashamed of who they are for any reason, but when it becomes ok to turn the tables and hate someone for their hatred is very hypocritical and makes you no better than them. I don't claim to be any better and that is why I am not afraid to say how I really feel.

I will not comment on this topic again but if anyone wants to discuss it feel free to send me an email.
 

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Posted by Phil Hill (Member # 371) on 08-14-2004, 02:49 PM:
 
Thanks Wolff for bringing in some "common sense" and providing a grounding for us all.

**I** personally do not agree with several of Manny's comments, however I do think he has some valid points just as I think Chris has some valid points.

I too would hate to see this thread locked no matter how "spirited" it gets. Discussion is good....

While I certainly do not like, nor condone, some of the personal "labels" and name-calling, I believe adults can have an exchange of views without stooping to the emotional "arguments" that seems to worm their way into such discussions.

Manny, Chris, and all ...keep on posting. I for one find it healthy as well as enlightening.

And, to some of the self-appointed "thread police", straight or gay, if you're "bored" or whatever, there are plenty of other threads for yous to post in.

>>> Phil
 

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Posted by Tony Bandiera Jr (Member # 2365) on 08-14-2004, 03:05 PM:
 
Thank you Phil!!
 

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Posted by Chris Hipp (Member # 1788) on 08-14-2004, 03:35 PM:
 

quote: Phil Hill

---

I believe adults can have an exchange of views without stooping to the emotional "arguments"

---

quote: Phil Hill

---

And, to some of the self-appointed "thread police", straight or gay, if you're "bored" or whatever, there are plenty of other threads for yous to post in.

---

Like always, you are right Phil. Now where is that "Phil Hill is a jerk" thread..I feel the need to bump it back up!! Just kidding!!
 

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Posted by Phil Hill (Member # 371) on 08-14-2004, 08:20 PM:
 
Oh my, Jeremy. How crass!

Dear Diary: I would post "hugs" to both Jeremy and Chris, but then everyone would think I was... like gay or something.

>>> Phil
 

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Posted by Jeremy Fuentes (Member # 2135) on 08-14-2004, 10:30 PM:
 
Just send me a hug to my email along with your new pics!!
 

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Posted by Jason Black (Member # 684) on 08-14-2004, 10:58 PM:
 
**Edited for proper quotation insertion**

Phil,

I was referencing the fact that Chris had to reassert his manliness.

Manny,

quote:

---

That talk of "double standards" is pure bullshit. Take a look at this list of minorities that -- at one time or another, for one reason or another -- have been underpriviledged or discriminated against:

Women
Blacks
Jews
Gays

Men -- particularly straight, white men -- have never been on the list. There's no double standard. You guys have historically been the bad guys....and, now that you have made me think about it, why should you be proud of being straight? What's to be proud of? You guys are nothing but trouble.

---

quote: Manny Knowles

---

"Exactly...and that's what Black History Month, Women's Lib and Holocost museums are all about. It's also what Gay Pride is there for. Ditto for "coming out week" and even threads like this one."

---

Please Manny... I assume that you'd never heard of affirmative action or race quotas, huh? To say that a straight white male has not been discriminated against over the last many years is complete and pure BS. I don't argue the fact that the list you gave hasn't been the subject(s) of past discrimination, but to claim that white males (in particular) are not, nor have been discriminated against is a little 'blind sided', IMO.

And on the subject of Black History Month, Gay Pride Month, etc..
What, in all likelyhood, do you think would happen were a White History Month proposed? Are we to be so naive that becuase there has been no 'name' effected for the other months that they are automatically 'straight' or 'white' months? To quote Phil... "Puuleeeze".

I have no real issue if someone is gay or not. That's their deal. I'm me.. and if you don't like it.. so fucking what..

I do, however, always get a real sense of hostility written into your posts in defense of the gay lifestyle, especially when someone mentions being straight. It's like the proverbial pot calling the kettle black...It's seemingly fine for you to spout off about the gay lifestyle yet when someone asserts any 'straight' comments, it opens pandoras box with you.

The fact remains, you are who you are, I am who I am and if anyone doesn't like it, they have the rest of their lives to get the fuck over it. The use of the word you above is not meant to infer Manny personally. I'm using the word as a generality.

I'll end by stating that I'm naive enough to have never even realized certain members (of this forum) sexual orientation, but ya know what? It doesn't change the fact that I get along with them just fine regardless of what type of lifestyle they, or I, lead.

You accept someone for WHO they are if you're genuine. End of story.

[ 08-15-2004, 01:04 AM: Message edited by: Jason Black ]
 

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Posted by Phil Hill (Member # 371) on 08-15-2004, 02:59 PM:
 

quote: Jeremy

---

Just send me a hug to my email along with your new pics!!

---

NO hugs Jeremy, but I sent you the pics.

quote: Jason Black

---

...there has been no 'name' effected for the other months that they are automatically 'straight' or 'white' months?

---

Jason, being a SWM myself, I thought they were.

quote: Jason Black

---

...the gay lifestyle...

---

What exactly is that? That phrase has always cracked me up. Is that like when someone just *LOVES* only musical films and stage plays? Has a ton of "Showtune" CDs? Perhaps has every Barbra Streisand DVD?

To me, "Lifestyle" is not about the non-choice of being gay or straight. It means how I live as in my hobbies, my house, my cars/bike/SUV, area I live in, friends, work, what I like to collect and restore... like pinball machines, juke boxes, vacuum-tube audio and ham-radio stuff.

BTW: The ***ONLY*** musicals I like are "Rocky Horror Picture Show" and "Hedwig, and the Angry Inch". The rest suck!

quote: Jason Black

---

You accept someone for WHO they are if you're genuine. End of story.

---

EXACTLY!

>>> Phil
 

---

Posted by Jason Black (Member # 684) on 08-16-2004, 12:09 AM:
 
Phil,

quote: Phil Hill

---

What exactly is that? That phrase has always cracked me up. Is that like when someone just *LOVES* only musical films and stage plays? Has a ton of "Showtune" CDs? Perhaps has every Barbra Streisand DVD?

To me, "Lifestyle" is not about the non-choice of being gay or straight. It means how I live as in my hobbies, my house, my cars/bike/SUV, area I live in, friends, work, what I like to collect and restore... like pinball machines, juke boxes, vacuum-tube audio and ham-radio stuff.

---

I was afraid that someone would say this. I guess, perhaps, liefstyle is the wrong word for me to use in this situation. I find it odd to describe the homosexual/gay/whatever you choose to call it/ way of life. If you say it's behaviorial, someone counters. If you claim it to be learned, someone counters. If you say it's a lifestyle, which seems to be the term of choice right now, someone counters. No matter how you approach the subject, theme, style, situation, etc., there will always be those who choose to counter, which makes in even more difficult, at times to talk about.

Point-counterpoint-point-counterpoint...

Anyway, maybe I should have used teh term "persona'?

You're still cool in my book, no matter WTF anyone else says.. LOL..
 

---

Posted by Phil Hill (Member # 371) on 08-16-2004, 01:31 AM:
 

quote: Jason Black

---

I was afraid that someone would say this...

---

quote: Jason Black

---

You're still cool in my book, no matter WTF anyone else says...

---

So are you too in my book my friend.

>>> Phil
 

---

Posted by Wolff King Morrow (Member # 2226) on 08-16-2004, 01:52 AM:
 
Though I've never met Phil in person, I too have to say he's one of the coolest pirates around.

When I first started looking at the forums here, Phil's avatar made me think he was a lunatic and it scared me. Now I know better and laugh because he's a lunatic.
 

---

Posted by Phil Hill (Member # 371) on 08-16-2004, 02:28 AM:
 

quote: Wolff King Morrow

---

Phil's avatar made me think he was a lunatic...

---

Gosh Wolff, Ummm... thanks for the "compliment" I guess.

I say that cuz I didn't mean to scare you or anyone... I'm really a pussycat....honest! Ask ANYONE here! Ummm... But not Brad or Adam or Jason or Josh or Manny or...well you get the idea. Straight or Gay they all equally get my vengeance! HA!

Anyway, I don't know about what you mean about "avatar". Here in Hollywood, it means big time underground gay leather and S&M members... so I've been told. I'm a "vanilla" sorta person myself so I personally don't know of such things. Actually Jason Black told me about it.

(Yeah, I know... he's gonna kill me for that...but hey! what are friends for?)

>>> Phil
 

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Posted by Robert L. Fischer (Member # 2424) on 08-16-2004, 08:39 PM:
 
I am not gay, but as I found out today on my first day delivering flowers as a side job (still working at the movie theater, of course), I can easily be mistakened for it. I guess that's because the owners of the flower shop are a couple and their van has a rainbow-colored license plate holder with the plate reading "IM A TOP". I found out what that means later on.

I have no worries though. It doesn't really matter what people think of me, and truthfully, it's not the first time someone has thought that I was gay. Luckily I grew up in a fairly liberal family with a gay uncle, not to mention that the city I grew up in is very diverse; this had everything to do with me becoming who I am today, and I am quite proud of my lack of prejudices. After moving to a more rural area in junior high, I found some of the racial and sex-preference intolerance to be quite sickening. I guess as long as older generations pass on these faulted prejudices to their children, the problem will still exist.
 

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Posted by Scott D. Neff (Member # 185) on 01-09-2005, 02:41 PM:
 
Ehh -- I'm bored and thought I'd bump this to the top... see if any new members wanted to sound off.

And yes... I'm still out at work.
 

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Posted by Tony Bandiera Jr (Member # 2365) on 01-09-2005, 03:21 PM:
 
Scott: Me too!
 

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Posted by Evans A Criswell (Member # 381) on 01-09-2005, 11:00 PM:
 
I haven't posted on this thread in a very long time. I'm more "out" than I used to be. I've met many friends since my last post on this thread and I'm open and honest about it with them. I'm sure many of my coworkers know how I am, but I've only explicitly told 3 or 4 of them that I'm friends with to a greater degree than the others. I'm still not "out" to my parents, though.
 

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Posted by Phil Hill (Member # 371) on 01-09-2005, 11:46 PM:
 
Yeah, I'm still out of work too...
 

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Posted by Joe Redifer (Member # 3) on 01-10-2005, 12:44 AM:
 
Phil I'm pretty sure you've already used that joke.
 

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Posted by Floyd Justin Newton (Member # 1316) on 01-10-2005, 08:42 PM:
 
Evans-- I wouldn't worry about NOT being "out" to your parents.
They probably "know" anyway.

fjn

Local 294 Ret.
 

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Posted by Phil Hill (Member # 371) on 01-10-2005, 09:03 PM:
 
Oh sure Mr. High Mucky Muck Joe Redifer Moderator... I make a repeat comment like Scott did...playing on his post, and YOU slam ME for it? HA! I guess I see who rates around here with you! HA!
 

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Posted by Rachel Gilardi (Member # 1016) on 01-10-2005, 11:29 PM:
 
I rate, remember that! Although, I didn't say what I'm rated at.
 

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Posted by Joe Redifer (Member # 3) on 01-11-2005, 12:21 AM:
 
Who is Scott? I don't pay attention to that person, if he really exists.
 

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Posted by Scott D. Neff (Member # 185) on 01-11-2005, 12:36 AM:
 
My soul is crying Joe.

Such hurtful things to say.
 

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Posted by Joe Redifer (Member # 3) on 01-11-2005, 01:13 AM:
 
Oh, YOU! I thought Phil was talking about my middle name, which is Scott. J/K of course, I meant the insult.
 

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Posted by Tony Bandiera Jr (Member # 2365) on 01-11-2005, 01:34 AM:
 

quote: Floyd Justin Newton

---

Evans-- I wouldn't worry about NOT being "out" to your parents.
They probably "know" anyway.

---

Very true, Floyd. My parents knew ever since I was a teen. My dad didn't mind, except for the fact I wouldn't talk to him about it, which really hurt his feelings. It was after he died I found out how much he knew by talking to my mom. My mom was always the one with a problem, until after Dad was gone, then she woke up and realized that there were more important things to get worked up about.

Life's too short to get hung up over one's dating and mating preferences. Talk to your parents before it's too late. They probably understand a lot more than you suspect.

Cheers all.... now I need one..
 

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Posted by Floyd Justin Newton (Member # 1316) on 01-11-2005, 09:04 AM:
 
You got it, Tony.
fjn
Local 294 Ret.
 

---

Posted by Andrew McCrea (Member # 674) on 01-11-2005, 10:25 PM:
 
Well, I'm bisexual. I tell people if they ask, but only if I don't suspect that I'll have to suffer homophobic shockwaves from people. Everyone I've told is perfectly fine with it, and I agree with the self comfort idea.

Most of Canada now recognizes same-sex marriage, including Manitoba (which was 4th to change the wording of it's law).

Winnipeg also had a gay mayor for about 8 or 9 years, and he apparently was the first openly gay elected mayor in Canada.
 

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Posted by Phil Hill (Member # 371) on 01-12-2005, 12:49 AM:
 
That's cool Andrew... Canada is far ahead of the USA in that respect... I mean EVEN Daryl likes me and cuts me some slack...
 

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Posted by Mike Heenan (Member # 392) on 01-12-2005, 01:16 AM:
 
Here in Arizona the mayor of Tempe (where ASU is located) is openly gay and has been the mayor for a while I think.
 

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Posted by Jason Burroughs (Member # 68) on 01-12-2005, 01:05 PM:
 

quote: Phil Hill

---

I mean EVEN Daryl likes me and cuts me some slack...

---

Phil, any slack that hasn't been cut for you, is simply due to you beeing a coot.
 

---

Posted by Evans A Criswell (Member # 381) on 01-13-2005, 01:51 PM:
 
Yeah, I don't see how my parents could not know. I'm 36 years old and have never had a girlfriend. My mother knows how I am, but I don't talk to my father about it. He's always extremely negative anytime any issue of homosexuality comes up. I can't change the way I am for him, and don't want him to cut me out of his life, so I just keep going the way I've been going, not mentioning it.

In the past year, I've found a very accepting group of friends through LiveJournal here in town, and that's made the quality of my life much better. Most people know me as "Chris" now instead of "Evans". On LiveJournal, AOL IM, and Yahoo IM, I'm "chris" concatenated with "21718". (I didn't put the whole thing in one piece since I'm careful about never letting that ID appear on anything on the WWW with my real name in case Google grabs it).

There are two film-techers on my LJ friend list. If anyone else here is on LiveJournal, add me if you want and I'll add you back.

As before, nearly all of my friends are heterosexual guys with a few females. The quality of my life is better because I have more people to be in touch with and hang out with, and that really has made me happier during the past 10 months.
 

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Posted by Don Furr (Member # 1469) on 01-13-2005, 02:25 PM:
 
Great Evans (Cris)
I'm really glad thing are finally working out for you

Don
 

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Posted by Rachel Gilardi (Member # 1016) on 01-13-2005, 03:08 PM:
 

quote: Evans A Criswell

---

There are two film-techers on my LJ friend list. If anyone else here is on LiveJournal, add me if you want and I'll add you back.

---

I'm one of them! Other then all the math stuff he posts, his LJ is actually interesting.
 

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Posted by Scott D. Neff (Member # 185) on 01-13-2005, 03:13 PM:
 
I've got LJ... I rarely post to it, but I comment in other's journals.

Maybe I'll add some film-techers...
 

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Posted by Evans A Criswell (Member # 381) on 01-13-2005, 03:52 PM:
 
Actually, my LiveJournal is one place I just say what I think and am "out", although nearly every post making it obvious that I like guys is secure, so you have to to friend me to be able to read those posts.
 

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Posted by System Notices (Member # 2357) on 07-30-2006, 11:47 AM:
 

It has been 562 days since the last post.

 

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Posted by William Phillips (Member # 1162) on 07-30-2006, 11:47 AM:
 
Bored, bumping this one any new outs??
 

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Posted by Leo Enticknap (Member # 534) on 07-31-2006, 06:17 AM:
 
How about the entire Pakistani cricket team, for 222 last Saturday?
 

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Posted by Frank Angel (Member # 248) on 07-31-2006, 12:44 PM:
 
Well, I don't come over to this forum as much as the others, so I just discovered this thread because it was bumped.

I really think there is enough prejudice to go around. I have always be very sexually active at an early age (how old are you in the 7th grade?) and have been attracted to both sexes from very early on. It didn't take me long to discover that gays can be as bigoted as straights. I experimented all thru college with both girls and guys. Emotionally I am much more drawn to women; sex with guys is just easier because guys are ALWAYS horny. Thing is, I was not accepted by EITHER group, straight or gay. If gays find the ostrasism by the straight world painful, try being maligned by BOTH gays and straights.

Very early on, I felt the wrath of gays who insisted that I was diluding myself in my relationships with women and when I said I was in love with a woman, I was told that my feelings were false; I was even sneared and shuned by a number of gays. As far as the gay guys were concerned, they said that I was "pretending to be straight" and encouraged me to "face the truth about being gay." While in the straight world, well...let me put it this way -- you can sleep with 300 women, but bed down with one guy and to the straight world, you are as queer as a three dollar bill, period. With that you get to experience all the nasty bigotry from that side of the isle as well. Most gays don't believe that a person can be bisexual.

Thing is, I don't even consider myself bisexual (omni-sexual, perhaps), as that kind of implies that a person is 50% attracted to each sex. I feel that when I am attracted to a woman, it's as passionate as any other straight guy and 100% heterosexual. I haven't been with a guy in decades because I have been in long-term, happy and sexually fulfilling relationships with women, but still, that doesn't mean I can't have a full-blown, 100% attraction to a hot guy.

As for being OUT....my close circle of friends, mostly straight, know that I have had both types of relationships. At work, I don't volunteer that information to co-workers who are just that, not friends, but people I work with. They can guess all they want, but what's it anyone's business? If I am asked outright, and I rarely am because I don't "look" gay (whatever that truly stupid concept is) my answer is, "Why is my sexuality important to you? I don't think a person's sexual proclivity is anyone's business, especially in the workplace, unless of course you want to go to bed with me -- do you want to?" That always shuts them up.

All I know is, what I am attracted to is as much who I am as is the color of my hair and eyes and skin. And when I hear straight people talking about "choice" all I can say is, why are you so proud of being straight? You didn't to anything to get that way....you didn't work at it or earn it. You woke up one morning at the onset of puberty and looked at Mary Jane with the big tits and discovered, wow, you had a woody. You didn't say, "I wonder if I should choose to get a woody for her, or gee, there's Justin the quarterback with the bulging jockstrap, perhaps I'll get a woody looking at him. The woody chooses for you, and it never lies. You can tell yourself anything you want....WISH to be attracted to women, but why you like her or him has nothing to do with free will. Hell, even if you are totally straight you can't WILL yourself to be attracted to a particular girl. You are hot for this girl, but another does nothing for you. You can't control it at all. Even couples in love can suddenly realize that they are just no longer attracted sexually to each other, which wouldn't be such a crisis if as a society we weren't so damn totally hung up on sexuality, making it the measurement and the proof that we are "in love."

Heterosexual, homosexual, bi, omni, even asexual, the thing that counts most is that we love well.
 

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Posted by Rachel Gilardi (Member # 1016) on 07-31-2006, 01:09 PM:
 
Good post Frank, I enjoyed reading that very much...
 

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Posted by Joe Redifer (Member # 3) on 07-31-2006, 07:11 PM:
 

quote: Frank Angel

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The woody chooses for you, and it never lies.

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quote: Frank Angel

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The woody chooses for you, and it never lies.

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I like that, it is now my new MySpace title! Haha, I'm like a little kid...
 

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Posted by Donna Siegwart (Member # 3232) on 08-02-2006, 12:45 AM:
 
I have been openly Bisexual at my theatre for over 4 years, and it made people feel odd when I first told them, but once they got to know me, they realized I was not the type of person to push my sexuality on people.

Sadly in HS I had issues with A LOT of teens, as in my school I was one of the only OUT teens, with an very public lesbian relationship. Teens can be cruel.

Anywho my coworkers stay out of my love life now a days. Some have noticed my pride keychain for my door keys, and I have gotten compliments from it.

We had to deal with a homophobia issue recently, it was a rare thing, but it ended well at least.
 

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Posted by Phil Hill (Member # 371) on 08-02-2006, 06:02 PM:
 
It never ceases to amaze me that SOME gay people MUST make it a point to blab that they are gay to anyone and everyone... BOTTOM LINE: WTF CARES? Get a life! That is sooooo "High School". One's "worth" doesn't revolve around who they fuck!

Most people, out of Jr High and High School could give a rat's ass as to who one sleeps with.

I'm not sure about the theory that the "wood decides" one's sexuality. Most guys get a wood for many, even non-sexual, reasons. I think it's more of which sex one mentally covets and desires.

Oh, and BTW Madamn Moderator, Hmmmm... just curious as to how your "wood" works for you? Strap-on dildo?
 

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Posted by Jeremy Fuentes (Member # 2135) on 08-02-2006, 06:07 PM:
 
You seem so angry Phil. Marry me. Be the yin to my yang.
 

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Posted by Phil Hill (Member # 371) on 08-02-2006, 06:23 PM:
 
Angry? I'm not... and I don't get where you think I am you jerk! (hahhahahah Just kidding bud!)

Seriously, I'm one that believes one's private life is just that and there is NO NEED to blab it to all within earshot.

My post was not meant to be adversarial, but just ***MY*** opinion.

Bottom line: FU Jeremy! HA!

(OBTW: I DO NOT marry anyone without trying out the merchandise... let's fuck)
 

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Posted by Gordon McLeod (Member # 33) on 08-02-2006, 09:18 PM:
 
Phil isn't the way "rent don't buy the depreciation is less"
 

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Posted by Darryl Spicer (Member # 711) on 08-02-2006, 09:32 PM:
 

quote: Donna Siegwart

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I have been openly Bisexual at my theatre for over 4 years, and it made people feel odd when I first told them, but once they got to know me, they realized I was not the type of person to push my sexuality on people.

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quote: Phil Hill

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Oh, and BTW Madamn Moderator, Hmmmm... just curious as to how your "wood" works for you? Strap-on dildo?

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Hey, a certain woman's 'private' part gets errected when excited! I don't know if that would be 'wood' but... eh.

Never did the whole 'strap-on' thing, willing to try it with me Phil?
 

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Posted by Phil Hill (Member # 371) on 08-03-2006, 01:40 PM:
 

quote: Rachel Gilardi

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...willing to try it with me Phil?

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Sure!

Your come-back really cracked me up, Rach!
 

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Posted by Gordon McLeod (Member # 33) on 08-03-2006, 07:42 PM:
 
Chipper you are getting us all excited huba huba
 

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Posted by Rachel Gilardi (Member # 1016) on 08-05-2006, 11:09 AM:
 
It's all for you Gordon... Well, and Phil a little... can't forget Phil. hehe
 

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Posted by Joshua Waaland (Member # 287) on 08-21-2006, 01:17 AM:
 
Funny for this question to be asked by Chris or should I say Mr. Finn? I used to work for Chris as a projectionist at a local theater. I had no idea he was gay for the first few months I worked for him.

One day he and some of the other assistant managers decided to watch their favorite trailer reels that they kept in the booth. After I started the projector for them I watched a few of the trailers and it became obvious after the first two or three played. Many of them were gay interest films and that was when I realized he was probably gay.

If I hadn't watched those trailers I would have still been ignorant of the fact that he is gay until reading this thread. Since it shouldn't have any effect on how he does his job I don't see why it matters.
 

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Posted by Robert Burtcher (Member # 3227) on 09-11-2006, 07:21 AM:
 
Just for the record: Queer as a 3-dollar bill here.

I don't know why, I just like that phrase. It makes me titter with glee. *glee*

My sexuality doesn't really come up all that much at work, and I rather like it that way. I mean, I'll be open about it if someone asks, and I don't censor myself when asking for time off or talking with my coworkers (like when I took time off to go visit my boyfriend)... but I don't go around announcing it to everyone.

I actually got kind of angry the other day at one of my coworkers... He's openly gay and was talking with a couple of the new hires, and as I walked by, I overheard him tell them I was "like him". I don't care if people know, just I'd rather them find out from me, instead of someone telling a brand-new coworker I haven't even spoken to that I'm gay.
 

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Posted by Dave Williams (Member # 299) on 09-13-2006, 05:38 AM:
 
Ok, first of all, know that I am not gay, but often I would be hard pressed to prove it. Here is why...

I root for football teams based upon the coordination and coloring of their uniforms.

I love to shop. I don't mean for tools, I mean things like linens and drapes.

Most women that are considered on the beautiful side I could never muster up enough "umph" to do anything with that.

I coordinate my outfits and never wear the same set more than once every two weeks.

It takes me hours to size up a single shirt with slacks before purchase at the store.

I flip out my pinky when I drink.

I find many different men attractive.

I cuddle after sex.

I snuggle every other time.

I coordinate my wifes outfits.

Almost all of my friends are either gay men or straight women.

I voted for George Bush because his ties match so well with his shoes.

Everyone at work gives me a hard time, in a humorous way. I have been hit on so many times, and I am always flattered. All of that aside, I am most definately Hetero. One of my best friends says it just comes with being raised by my mother as my dad was military and out of the country alot as I grew up.

Oh yeah, my wife is going into the Army as soon as she wraps up her Masters degree. It's all backwards, but I just love it. I used to think it would have been a lot easier if I was just gay, but no matter how cute the guy is, I just can't go there. Just love the boobies!

Ciao
 

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Posted by Bruce McGee (Member # 131) on 09-13-2006, 10:20 AM:
 
Hmm, Dave. Now I wonder about you... You're such an effeminate guy.

Sure is nice the way guys dont get beaten alive (much) anymore. When I was out of high school back in the 1800's, if they even THOUGHT you could be 'that way,' you'd get the shit beat out of you.

I had to learn to fight, or die. I chose to live.

[ 09-13-2006, 10:15 PM: Message edited by: Bruce McGee ]
 

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Posted by Phil Hill (Member # 371) on 09-13-2006, 06:09 PM:
 
Thanks Dave for perpetuating and promoting stereotypes of gay people in your post.
 

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Posted by Steve Guttag (Member # 268) on 09-13-2006, 06:57 PM:
 
Have no fear Phil...NOBODY thinks you're cute!

While you may not like stereotypes...Most if not all have their basis in reality...hence they are stereotypes, not absolutes.
 

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Posted by Dave Williams (Member # 299) on 09-14-2006, 04:51 AM:
 

quote: Phil Hill

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Thanks Dave for perpetuating and promoting stereotypes of gay people in your post.

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And here I have blown my best chance at Mr. Snuggly Bear!

For the record I grew up in a household where homosexuality was decried as a sin, with "so called" freinds that went out on weekends to beat up "faggots". This was all I was ever introduced too.

Yet I was smart enough to know that there was just something wrong with this way of thinking and behaving.

Men were tought to play with trucks and guns and wear "manly" clothes and beat up fags and rape women. Any dissent was not tolerated, and anyone with a different point of view would be tortured and beaten. Sometimes even by their own family.

I can't tell you if all of that forced me into a life of boobie worship or not, however I absolutely love that society in many parts of our country has accepted the less "manly" traits of drinking a beer like it was a cup of tea, shopping for drapes instead of curtains, wearing clothes that look good instead of dressing like a pig, and so on.

I learned to accept my own iffeminite traits, and even my own admiration of the human body, regardless of gender. 25 years ago that would have gotten me left for dead, yes right here even in Utah. But now it is seen as kitchy and cute.

As far as perpetuation goes, give me a break! I am sick to death of "stereotype" as much as I am sick of "synergy"! It's an easy word to take a defense where none was warranted because no attack occurred.

When one of my co-workers says to me "what is with you italians and moving your arms around so much?", I don't get all bent out of shape and claim some kind of anything. I laugh and run with it, because they were trying to connect with me, not insult me.

I never intended to insult anyone with my post, and really I do apologize if it yanked your chain in any one direction or another.

And here I was thinking that you were a rational thinker 3-4 percent of the time. My existance is crushed.
 

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Posted by John Wilson (Member # 269) on 09-14-2006, 05:23 AM:
 
...not that there's anything wrong with that.


 

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Posted by Anslem Rayburn (Member # 1267) on 09-14-2006, 07:20 AM:
 

quote:

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Thanks Dave for perpetuating and promoting stereotypes of gay people in your post. [Frown] [fu]

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quote: Jim Bedford

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What you do in your bedroom should be determined by your budget

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quote: Jim Bedford

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What you do in your bedroom should be determined by your budget and imagination, not someone else's ideas or dictates.

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Within limits, or is this "anything goes", Jim?
 

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Posted by Evans A Criswell (Member # 381) on 09-15-2006, 09:51 AM:
 
Dave Williams' last two posts (on the previous page of this thread) pretty well sum up how things were where I grew up, concerning guys having to be masculine to fit in and how it was bad for a boy as a kid to be interested in anything feminine. In the house, I was used to watching my mother do things in the kitchen and in kindergarten, the play area in the back of the classroom at Aragon School in Aragon, GA was separated with the girls' stuff on one side and the boys' stuff on the other side. The girls had all the interesting toys and the kitchen stuff and we didn't and I hated that because that meant I'd never get to go to the other side to explore.

At that age, I found girls more interesting, and did up until the early 80s. I'd say February 3, 1981 was the "halfway point" for me. Even at kindergarten age, I liked girls' clothes and wished I was a girl so I could wear them. I loved nylon and thought it wasn't fair that girls got to choose from so many more fabrics and colors than we did.

Well, my parents' mindset is still in the 1940s and here I am, not interested in sex or even undressing a guy, but I'm definitely totally attracted to guys. I'm the only person I've found like that. I'm like Dave in a lot of ways, and tend to be effeminate in ways, but I'm not capable of being attracted to a female in the way that I'm naturally attracted to guys. I can find a female attractive, but it's not in the same way as when it's a guy I'm attracted to.

There's a girl right now that I'm attracted to, but I'm nervous because I know there is no way I can get really close to her beyond cuddling and affection because my brain just doesn't work with the female body and doesn't understand it. However, when I see a guy I'm attracted to, it sets off something totally different and more intense in my mind. It doesn't give me the desire to have sex, but it makes me want to get close to him, be his friend, and get affectioante or cuddle if he's open to the idea (very few guys are, so I'm very careful about trying to take that step).

Just yesterday afternoon, a guy I saw at a concert (a friend of a friend) came in my office. Oh my God he was cute! I know he's straight and would never want to be anything other than friends, but I hope I'll see him around more. It's hard to describe the warm gooey feeling that went through me when he was around. It's like being in a restaurant and having a cute waiter with a good personality.
 

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Posted by Jim Bedford (Member # 4) on 09-15-2006, 12:06 PM:
 
Ah, "limits?" If you're alone, WTF should care what you do. If there are two or more, then "consentual" should usually suffice.

(I'm not going to quite support everything, like the German guy who agreed his pal could cook and eat him [and he even ate some of himself] which goes a bit farther than I think reasonable. But hey, I'm not one to throw stones at almost anyone other than intolerant assholes.)
 

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Posted by Brad Miller (Member # 2) on 09-15-2006, 12:56 PM:
 
Ummmm, do you have a link to this story???

Ya know technically, he DID consent to that.
 

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Posted by Mark Lensenmayer (Member # 134) on 09-15-2006, 01:51 PM:
 
Here's a link, Brad:

German Victim Will Found

quote:

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The apparent willing victim in the German cannibal murder left a will that indicates that he was fully aware of the fate that awaited him, according to investigators.

Police investigating the horrific cannibal murder case in Germany have revealed that Bernd Juergen B, the alleged willing participant and victim in the crime, wrote his will immediately before he met his murderer.

The legal document and the video tape that is rumored to show both Bernd Juergen B and the perpetrator eating the victim's flesh and the subsequent murder support suggestions that victim and killer both engaged in consensual cannibalism.

Legal document suggests victim went to death willingly

According to police reports Bernd Juergen B wrote out his will and had it officially recognized by a notary on the morning of his disappearance March 9, 2001. In the will, he left the bulk of his estate including a lavish penthouse apartment and his collection of expensive computer equipment to his live-in partner, a man named Rene.

The German daily Berliner Morgenpost reports that Rene knew nothing of the victim's plans and discovered the will only after Bernd Juergen B was reported missing. The victim reportedly sold most of his other belongings, including a sports car just before his disappearance.

Bernd Juergen B had told his boss at Siemens he was taking that Friday off "to attend to some personal matters". He was last seen at a subway station in Berlin when co-workers caught sight of him. The German police believe the victim then traveled 300 kilometers from Berlin to the alleged murderer's rambling half-timbered house near Kassel with several thousand euro in cash and his passport.

The 42-year-old victim, a computer chip developer at Siemens Corporation in Berlin, willingly allowed himself to be led to the slaughter, police said.

Evidence shows that both men consented to cannibalism

"The victim appeared to be fully aware of the situation," an investigator said. "Videotape material definitely shows both him and the suspect engaged in eating his own flesh prior to his death." Police officers who have been studying the evidence, including the video made by the suspect of the final moments of his victim's life, were said to be undergoing psychiatric counseling. An official statement on Friday said the video shows the victim willingly allowed himself to be castrated before both men engaged in eating his severed flesh.

After murdering the victim, the killer, only identified as Armin M, apparently removed body parts for consumption and buried the rest. During a search of the killer's home, police found frozen human flesh and skeletal remains, and a cellar which had been renovated into a makeshift slaughterhouse, complete with trough drains and meat hooks.

Police used diggers to unearth body parts on the grounds of Armin M's sprawling 17th Century estate in the idyllic central German town of Rotenburg an der Fulda. Police have found no indications that more than one person's remains had been disposed of on the estate.

Adverts for willing victims led police to killer

Authorities filed murder charges against the reclusive computer systems expert on Thursday. The 41-year-old suspect admitted to investigators that he had videotaped himself killing the man who he had met via a gay Internet chat room after the victim responded to one of 80 adverts that read: 'Gay male seeks hunks 18-30 to slaughter.' Both men were computer experts and were both described as 'Internet addicts' by colleagues.

It was revealed on Friday that a chat room user tipped Police off to the existence of Armin M's grisly adverts. Investigators now know of at least five respondents to the ad, in addition to the undercover officers who answered it and quickly determined it was meant literally.

Neighbors describe killer as 'a pleasant and polite man'

Neighbors describe the murder suspect as a pleasant and polite man who kept to himself. He served in the German armed forces as a non- commissioned officer in ordinance for 12 years where was described as an amiable and conscientious military man.

After leaving the military in 1991, Armin M trained as a computer technician and until recently had a job with a software firm in the Rhine Valley city of Karlsruhe, 30km south of Rotenburg. He lived with his mother in the 17th Century half-timbered manor house, staying on there after her death three years ago.

"He was a mama's boy," a neighbor told reporters. "He was totally fixated on his mother, who he said never let him date girls. After she died, he began to thaw out."

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Posted by Brad Miller (Member # 2) on 09-15-2006, 03:44 PM:
 
This reminds me of a quote from Southpark:

"What the fuck is wrong with German people?"
 

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Posted by Chad Souder (Member # 343) on 09-15-2006, 05:29 PM:
 
Sorry, Jim, I kind of tried to bait you. I apologize. The reason I asked about limits is that everyone agrees there should be limits somewhere; it just varies where people draw the line. I would think most people involved in this forum are against bestiality or child molestation. You mention "consensual" but R. Kelly and Roman Polanski supposedly had consensual sex with very young people. It is also common in some other countries for children to be prostitutes, but I sincerely hope none of us are in favor of that practice.

My point is that there are definitely limits placed on sex by society and differing definitions of the word adult. Why is it that if someone is opposed to same-sex relationships they are automatically wrong and labeled an insensitive homophobe asshole? Why is it so fun to accuse people of being "in the closet" when they have anti-gay opinions?

I think there is a HUGE difference between prejudice and discrimination. Everyone, and I mean each and every single one of us, is prejudiced against some group. If you say you are not, you are lying. It may be prejudice against a race, sexual orientation, religion, political affiliation, or whatever, but we all have preconceived opinions about certain groups. This does not, however, mean we are all discriminatory. I believe it is completely possible and perfectly acceptable for someone to hold a prejudice about a part of a co-workers life while not discriminating against them in the workplace. Personal has to be separated as much as possible from work, although there is inevitably some overlap. Plenty of people have the ability to shut off a personal belief in the interest of business.

Lastly, I have an honest question to ask. I am not trying to stir anything up here; I just would like to hear what people have to say. Why is the word "pride" so often associated with homosexuality? Way back when, Christopher started this thread by stating that the theatre was a great business to be a proud homosexual in. There have been many references to gay pride events which take place world-wide. If being gay is not a choice, as so many have taken time to reiterate, then how can you be proud? I've always thought pride was sort of a self-fulfilling emotion anyway, but I don't think one can be proud of something they did not choose. Just curious, nothing nasty intended.
 

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Posted by Mike Heenan (Member # 392) on 09-15-2006, 05:36 PM:
 
The underage girl that Polanski is notorious for was raped (and drugged or got her drunk) I believe, at Nicholsons house. Ironically now she's said that she doesn't blame him anymore. Since he's in europe, the age of consent is different than the US.
 

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Posted by Phil Hill (Member # 371) on 09-15-2006, 08:47 PM:
 
While there are some really good points in this thread, there is also the dim-wit jerks that must take it to a personal level by slamming posters and/or their posts that don't agree with their "position"...or perhaps they're just are displaying their lack of intelligence for all to see.

Good posts Dave, you at least are replying with logic... (mostly)

Chad: In answer to your question, perhaps an analogy would be why Black people tout "Black Pride" and parades. In BOTH cases, I think it stems from many years of being rated a 2nd class people and from stereotypes in the media and in life.
 

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Posted by Dave Williams (Member # 299) on 09-16-2006, 04:28 AM:
 
You are just about there on the Pride issue Phil, but I would go a step further and describe people who take pride in something about them that is not their choice as people who decide not to let something that is a social handicap due to misconceptions by society in general not actually bother them, but actually decide to turn the tables and use it as a weapon to break down the societal barriers.

This is like the longest run on sentence I have ever written.

Ciao
 

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Posted by Brad Miller (Member # 2) on 10-31-2006, 09:00 PM:
 
For those of you who haven't noticed the other thread, chalk up another one.

click here

And no, it's not a photoshopped picture.

The really humorous part about all of this is the phenomenal quantity of people who are still in the closet. In fact the percentage of gay people right here on this forum would probably be unbelieveable to the average straight person.
 

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Posted by Jeremy Jorgenson (Member # 2989) on 11-01-2006, 02:16 AM:
 

quote: Dave Williams

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This is like the longest run on sentence I have ever written.

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Twelve words really isn't that long for a sentence, run-on or otherwise.
 

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Posted by Travis Cape (Member # 466) on 11-07-2006, 02:28 AM:
 
Hi, I don't say much on here but I'm gay also. It took me awhile to come out at work. It was more of an issue with wrapping my brain around the idea of coming out in general. When we hired another manager that was openly gay in 1995, he helped me see that it was ok. Now I wish I would have sooner, since no one told me that "gay death" was at 30.

I spent most of the night reading this thread. I emailed Brad my pic so I won't be in the closet much longer here.
 

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Posted by Phil Hill (Member # 371) on 11-07-2006, 07:40 AM:
 
Deleted by poster...

[ 11-07-2006, 02:21 PM: Message edited by: Phil Hill ]
 

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Posted by Rachel Gilardi (Member # 1016) on 11-07-2006, 09:15 AM:
 
Whoa Phil... I know that probably offends you, and yes, I understand why but I take from the way he wrote it that he was kidding. No name calling necessary.
 

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Posted by Hillary Charles (Member # 769) on 11-07-2006, 09:24 AM:
 
There WAS that emoticon after that term in quotes...
 

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Posted by Travis Cape (Member # 466) on 11-07-2006, 12:23 PM:
 
Hey Phil,

I was being sarcastic, but there's some truth in what I said. No one can help getting older, you just do. Can someone get Manny back in here. This thread was funnier with him.
 

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Posted by Scott D. Neff (Member # 185) on 11-07-2006, 12:54 PM:
 
I turned 29 last week -- it's not really bothering me. The only time it gets to me is when people like Kyle remind me he's a bazilliondy years younger than me.
 

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Posted by Phil Hill (Member # 371) on 11-07-2006, 02:15 PM:
 
You're right Madamn Moderator... I'll delete my comment.
 

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Posted by System Notices (Member # 2357) on 04-30-2008, 12:49 AM:
 

It has been 539 days since the last post.

 

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Posted by Tony Bandiera Jr (Member # 2365) on 04-30-2008, 12:49 AM:
 
Bumpin this back up.. I've also posted a pic of me and my ex on "post pics of your BF, GF, etc. " thread...

Still single and looking for love, but as has been said here, getting older is "gay death" and since I'm now 45 I guess it's too late for me to get some

But who knows? Stranger things have happened..

And Brad's last post was right..there are a surprising number of closeted gays out there.. and most straights would be surprised by the numbers here..

But then again, the entertainment industry in general does attract a diverse group of people.. and that's a good thing.

Edited to correct spelling and add:

LOL I triggered the soup nazi to show up in this thread...priceless.
 

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Posted by Evans A Criswell (Member # 381) on 05-20-2008, 01:48 PM:
 
I've posted in this thread before, long ago. Getting older does make it more difficult to make new friends. I turn 40 this August, and I noticed that a couple of years ago, it suddenly got much more difficult to get past the acquaintance stage to having friends to hang out with. I'm asexual, on the gay side (attraction-wise), which makes things difficult since I'm a misfit in both the gay and straight communities.
 

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Posted by Robert Crabtree (Member # 4795) on 05-31-2008, 01:07 PM:
 
I've been out at both of the theatres I've worked, but I was much more open at the college theatre.

I didn't go in there and "virtually shimmer in a golden halo of barely restrained fabulousness, which threatened to explode in a glitter rainbow at any moment" [JMG], but mostly eased into it, feeling out the comfort levels of those around me.

The place I'm at now is great cause the boss and other management are quite accepting and generally cool.
 

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Posted by Charles Greenlee (Member # 3856) on 06-01-2008, 06:55 PM:
 
Hmm, with the odd way people act around the theatres I worked at I'd never let them know I was bi. Being a bi guy is almost like being a cross between sasquach and an albatross. Most don't believe they exist. Either you're straight or gay, no in between. Or even if they to beleive they exist, no one likes them, either way no one wants them around. Who knows. But, eh, I can think of a few things they can go do with their closeminded selves.

And my comment in the "Random pics thread", my halloween costume was me dressed as a goth girl. No, it had nothing to do with my sexuality, but everthying to do with shock value, I figured it'd be something no one would expect. I'd post pics, but I can't decide if the "post pics of yourself" thread would be more apporpriate, "random pics" being that it's a cotsume, or here, considering the unavoidable homosexual connotation it provides. Also, I wouldn't want it to possibly scare off any job offers. Opinions?
 

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Posted by Robert Crabtree (Member # 4795) on 06-02-2008, 02:22 AM:
 
Well, you've already identified yourself as bi and admit the existence of said goth girl picture. Assuming your future employers have no problem with those two facts, I'd wager that the picture isn't going to kill your chances that much more. Unless of course, part of your goth girl outfit is patently offensive/confrontational, like...."F*ck You" emblazoned somewhere.
 

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Posted by Charles Greenlee (Member # 3856) on 06-02-2008, 02:26 AM:
 
Nope, not at all. Though the content may burn out your retinas making you blind for the rest of your life. LoL Or at least wish you were when you looked at the pic. But still, where would the most appropriate place be? I'm guessing "Member Pictures" or whatever it was called, but I scarcly consider a costume where I'm barely recognizable as being me. And Admitting said existance, and actually posting it, can have 2 different effects.
 

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Posted by Tony Bandiera Jr (Member # 2365) on 06-12-2008, 12:23 AM:
 
Charles, as far as what people think of you for the dressing as a goth girl, or being bi, or whatever..I take the words of Robin Williams to heart:

"Joke 'em if they can't take a fuck."

Finally, after a lot of years of battling depression and my recent near-death experience, I think I'm finally at peace with who I am. I simply ignore or distance myself from those who have a problem with me being me.

Warmest regards,

Tony
 

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Posted by Tim Reed (Member # 137) on 06-13-2008, 03:57 PM:
 
Take solace in the fact that at least you're handsome guys. Then imagine how difficult it is to get ANYONE when you look like ME!
 

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Posted by Charles Greenlee (Member # 3856) on 06-14-2008, 03:09 AM:
 
Well, you're not fugly or anything, and I'm sure you can work your suave. So I don't really see any reason why you'd have any problems. Me on the other hand, skinny is only attracive to other guys it seems. Chicks generally run for the hills when they see ol' Jack the Pumkin King (that'd be me) come around. But, I simply can't gain weight, so what can ya do.
 

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Posted by Tim Reed (Member # 137) on 06-14-2008, 11:02 AM:
 
You're funny, Charles.

Thanks, guy. We have the same problem... only at opposite ends of the spectrum. I can't get RID of the weight. I can easily drop 40-50 lbs. it seems; stall out, get discouraged, and can't keep it off.

I'd love to try it from your point, though. You would have a great place to start in frequenting a gym and begin a bodybuilding regimen. You'd bulk up... in muscle - if that's what you want. And the great part about that is, you can perfectly tailor your training to give you the results you want.
 

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Posted by Charles Greenlee (Member # 3856) on 06-14-2008, 07:15 PM:
 
Nope. Working out simply gets me ehausted with no gain, even over a long term period. My Body simply will not add any mass, whether muscle, or fat. Protien shakes, different diets, opposite diets, just about every trick known to mand just frustrates me, costs money, and sometime only causes me to lose weight. Had a thyroid test, turned up fine. I consume over 6000 calories a day, and can't gain a pound over 135. I'm not on buspar, since the Dr. hoped it was just anxiety. Guess what, I'm losing weight on that. So there's something seriously wrong, and so far no answers. And really this is the wrong thread for all of this, so may need to move itif this discussion continues any further.
 

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Posted by Chris Slycord (Member # 4239) on 06-14-2008, 08:13 PM:
 
Tim,

Don't get discouraged but also don't lose weight the way I did. My method involved developing an allergy to both gluten and anything dairy. In a short time I went from 160 down to 130 and it took me quite a while to get back up to 140 or so. I simply lost by having to eat less. Plus I tend to have a fast metabolism anyway.

And there are girls who like skinny guys. Though some guys claim that looks aren't as important to girls as we think (I doubt ugly guys are the ones claiming this so I feel your pain first-hand ha).
 

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Posted by Tim Reed (Member # 137) on 06-14-2008, 11:06 PM:
 
Thanks, Chris. My weight is started to piss me off again, and that's usually what it takes to get me going.

Charles, if you're working out to exhaustion you're not doing it properly. Form is critical. Nothing in the gym should get you winded. The guys you see straining, screaming, and throwing weights around are watching too much TV. Follow the Master Blaster's principles and you can't miss. Arnold also has an excellent how-to and reference manual.

You might just be a slow-gainer, but if you continue to stress your muscles, they WILL grow.
 

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Posted by Charles Greenlee (Member # 3856) on 06-14-2008, 11:11 PM:
 
You took exhaustion too literally. Though work outs do make you tired. And what I was saying is I can work out as reccommended, and just get tired constantly with no gain from it.
 

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Posted by Chris Slycord (Member # 4239) on 06-15-2008, 12:45 AM:
 
If the workout thing is that big a deal for you I'm sure there are plenty of personal trainers around who could give you a plan that'll get you your goals specifically geared for your type and metabolism. Though of course go with a certified trainer; otherwise, you might end up with someone who gives you bad information or techniques.

Tim,

There's always the "old school" option. Pill #1 = tapeworm. Pill #2 = tapeworm killer. You'll loose weight guaranteed.
 

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Posted by Brad Miller (Member # 2) on 06-15-2008, 02:52 AM:
 
Tapeworm diet
 

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Posted by Charles Greenlee (Member # 3856) on 06-15-2008, 05:45 AM:
 
Ok, I've tried to steer this discussion back towards its intended topic. Mocking a problem I have by posting information on urban myths discussing parasites used in weight loss schemes seems hardly productive or mature, not to mention further carrying this thread off topic.
 

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Posted by Chris Slycord (Member # 4239) on 06-15-2008, 10:31 AM:
 
How was I mocking you? Tim said that he couldn't lose weight and that it was a bit of a problem for him. I then joked that he could use a tapeworm.

And I thought it was pretty clear that I was, in fact, trying to help by the fact that I gave you advice for seeking out a personal trainer for your workout problem.
 

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Posted by Charles Greenlee (Member # 3856) on 06-15-2008, 11:19 AM:
 
Heh, late nite + fatigue = Missed the "Tim" in your message. Yeah, tapeworms are bad. Had a couple of animals turn out with them. I'm afraid thay'll only make you want to scoot your butt on the floor.
 

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Posted by Chris Slycord (Member # 4239) on 06-15-2008, 11:37 AM:
 
btw if your dog is scooting its butt on the floor that doesn't necessarily mean it has worms. It could just be trying to break open some anal sacs that are used to mark territory (since in many breeds those sacs get big and won't break open when the dog craps outside as nature had intended).

But yes a tapeworm would cause the same action.
 

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Posted by Charles Greenlee (Member # 3856) on 06-15-2008, 11:45 AM:
 
Yeah, I know about those sacs, the vet was telling us about them during last visit. I was just trying to avoid getting to graphical. :-p
 

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Posted by Chris Slycord (Member # 4239) on 06-15-2008, 12:21 PM:
 
And now it's really off-topic.

Perhaps it's time for me to leave and let the people who are actually gay/bi discuss what it's like to "come out" to their coworkers.

And to put it in perspective for you Charles:
People react oddly to lots of stuff; it has little to do with you. Heck, a coworker looked at me oddly when all I did was bring some carrots and an apple to work. Apparently, eating healthy and liking apples/carrots is weird.
 

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Posted by Robert Crabtree (Member # 4795) on 06-15-2008, 10:31 PM:
 
How about this for a return to topic:

With the traditional "Pride Month" upon us, any theatres seeing an increase in gaiety? Anyone at an indie doing GLBT film festivals?
 

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Posted by Joe Redifer (Member # 3) on 06-15-2008, 10:54 PM:
 

quote: Robert Crabtree

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any theatres seeing an increase in gaiety?

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quote: Joe Redifer

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Yes. We have very high-tech gaydars installed in every auditorium in our theater and looking at our charts it has indeed increased by a substantial amount. We will keep tracking this and make graphs as appropriate.

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ROFL now that's funny...

I just finished my run of Renaissance Fest, and the results are in:

This year, over six weekends, I did not manage to offend anyone at all. I usually average at least one complaint a weekend to the fest owner about "That fag in the sword booth" saying something inappropriate.

So according to my "boss" I have a credit of two "miffed off" and one "really pissed off" person as freebies for next year.

I usually get in trouble for making sexually suggestive comments.. imagine that.

Charles, don't worry about your weight. Some people are just naturally "skinny."

I was always at 5'9" and never over 135lbs. all the way to age 35. Now I'm still 5'9" but weigh in at 170. I have a bit of a gut, and I too have a difficult time developing muscle mass, a not so good thing when trying to motocross.

Again, back the the basic idea of enjoy who you are, and don't sweat what other people think.
 

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Posted by Tim Reed (Member # 137) on 06-16-2008, 10:15 AM:
 

quote: Chris Slycord

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Tim,

There's always the "old school" option. Pill #1 = tapeworm. Pill #2 = tapeworm killer.

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HA! I've considered something just about as radical (lap band)!
 

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Posted by Chris Slycord (Member # 4239) on 06-16-2008, 10:42 AM:
 
The vast majority of people who do that (or it's more invasive cousin, gastric bypass) gain the weight back after the procedure is over (after the band or staples are removed). It clearly doesn't treat the underlying reason you gain weight.

I'd see a nutritionist way before that. They're cheaper than the surgery and have a better success rate.
 

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Posted by Brad Miller (Member # 2) on 06-16-2008, 01:39 PM:
 
Not quite Chris. Gastric bypass, yes. Lap band, no. With gastric bypass the body doesn't get the nutrition it needs and the muscles wither away. With lap band and careful extra protein intake, it does work. It's not a one time and you're done thing though. People I know who have had it done DO have to go back to the doctor every 6 months for a "fill" where apparently they stick a needle in your armpit and add or remove some of the solution to expand or shrink the lap band ring depending on if you are gaining or losing weight. I don't know all of the details about it, but that's the jest of it.
 

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Posted by Chris Slycord (Member # 4239) on 06-16-2008, 02:02 PM:
 
You missed what I was actually getting at.

If they do reverse the procedure (remove the band once they've lost the weight), the person usually ends up gaining the weight back. That's why lots of the surgeons are now recommending that the band be left in permanently.

All I'm trying to say is that seeing a nutritionist/dietician first is a cheaper and less invasive solution.
 

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Posted by Tim Reed (Member # 137) on 06-16-2008, 02:46 PM:
 
Well, I'd only thought about it, since evidently I don't have the fortitude to stick with eating properly and working out. I keep losing and gaining the same 50 lbs. over and over.. not good.
 

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Posted by Phil Hill (Member # 371) on 06-16-2008, 03:14 PM:
 

quote: Brad

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Gastric bypass...Lap band...where apparently they stick a needle in your armpit...

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Well even after being blown up by mortars and having been shot a few times and having a Purple Heart medal, as I get older (and wiser), I'm now a total wuss about all them thar medical things.

Operations, surgery, and needles to lose weight are NOT for me. If I wanted to to lose weight, I would do the tape worm thingie.

BUT! There are guys that are "Chubby Chasers"...so I don't bother. Not that I'm "Chubby", but just pleasantly plump. HA!
 

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Posted by Charles Greenlee (Member # 3856) on 06-16-2008, 03:33 PM:
 

quote: Phil Hill

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after being blown up by mortars and having been shot a few times and having a Purple Heart medal

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Not that respect for you was lacking any to begin with, I didn't know you'd gone through that. Definately much respect.
 

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Posted by Charles Caron (Member # 3247) on 06-16-2008, 03:52 PM:
 
I always wondered about that eye patch...
 

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Posted by Mike Heenan (Member # 392) on 06-16-2008, 04:31 PM:
 
Its "easy" to lose weight, just like anything else in life, you need the time and discipline/hard work to do it. Now for morbidly obese folks, like 125+ pounds over a decent weight, you'll probably need some sort of surgery, if only to remove all that excess skin
 

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Posted by Tim Reed (Member # 137) on 06-16-2008, 09:28 PM:
 
Mike, you are one of my heroes in this!

The current problem is I just can't get psyched up about it like I was a year ago. Yes, I would agree it was somewhat easy to drop that 50lbs. of mine - maybe that's part of the problem; I think it IS so easy that I can go back at any time... so I don't prioritize it.

As with the year previous, I fell off the wagon at Thanksgiving.
 

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Posted by Brad Miller (Member # 2) on 06-17-2008, 06:40 AM:
 
Somebody start a new thread on weight loss please. A few random comments is one thing, but this is getting ridiculously off track.
 

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Posted by Charles Greenlee (Member # 3856) on 06-17-2008, 02:46 PM:
 
Eactly was I'm screamin. :-p
 

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Posted by Phil Hill (Member # 371) on 06-17-2008, 03:40 PM:
 

quote: Grand-Poopie-BAH

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Somebody start a new thread on weight loss please.

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So Brad, as our Head Cheese, why don't you start a new thread and move the appropriate posts or have one of your minions do it so we can get this thread back on track, huh? huh?
 

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Posted by Charles Greenlee (Member # 3856) on 06-17-2008, 03:43 PM:
 
Basically, these forums need to be rethreaded. :-p Sorry, had to.
 

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Posted by Brad Miller (Member # 2) on 06-17-2008, 03:48 PM:
 
Because individual POSTS cannot be moved. Don't make me come pee on your house.

Continue the discussion here .
 

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Posted by Charles Greenlee (Member # 3856) on 06-17-2008, 03:50 PM:
 

quote: Brad Miller

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Don't make me come pee on your house.

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quote: Brad Miller

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Don't make me come pee on your house.

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Oh boy, ANOTHER Josh Jr.!
 

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Posted by Tony Bandiera Jr (Member # 2365) on 06-17-2008, 06:09 PM:
 
Don't pee on Phil's house Brad..he might enjoy it.

Back on topic..still no complaints from my Ren Faire run...guess I wasn't trying hard enough.

But I did meet a really hot guy who is actually interested in me..finally.

Edited to add:

In the interest of "rethreading" this back in frame, anyone else have any work-related stories to share, or has anyone ever gotten a same-sex date while at work?

[ 06-19-2008, 01:41 AM: Message edited by: Tony Bandiera Jr ]
 

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Posted by Robert Crabtree (Member # 4795) on 06-20-2008, 01:39 PM:
 
I met the Ex through work, but we didn't go out until bout 2 years after first working together. All I can say is "bad call" on that move.

I have had creepy people, Male and Female, come on to me tho. Most notably, a woman in her late 30s with a 10 year old son, who slipped me her number while her kid was out getting her a 53rd popcorn refill. Shudder.
 

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Posted by Evans A Criswell (Member # 381) on 06-20-2008, 01:58 PM:
 
It's been a long time since I was interested in someone at the work place. Back during the 1991-1992 time period there was a really cute guy who worked in the building although he worked for a different company. He wasn't around town much longer and moved to Florida. There was another long haired guy I met in 1991 and I still run into him sometimes in town. He's married, but has always been "open minded" and we were both attracted to each other.

I haven't known any coworkers who have been gay, or anything close it to, during the past few years. Nearly everyone at work is married.

BTW, Tony, congrats on meeting someone you find attractive who is interested in you. I know how difficult that can be, because I've rarely had any success in that area. At my age, I figure the probability goes down every year. I'm averaging finding someone interested in me (for a few days) about once every 5 years, with an average of one affectionate experience with someone less than once per year.
 

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Posted by Tony Bandiera Jr (Member # 2365) on 06-20-2008, 10:05 PM:
 
Thanks Evans, we'll see how it turns out..but so far, he hasn't called me back or replied to my emails...

Robert, yeah I can relate, I have had a lot of weird people try to hit on me.. ANd I meet a lot of them at the Ren Fest...

My ex was a motocrosser and I met him at the track, not technically work I suppose..but then again, motocross isn't easy.
 

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Posted by Evans A Criswell (Member # 381) on 06-23-2008, 01:42 PM:
 
About the guy not returning calls or emails -- that's what I always get too. People seem interested, but they never are.
 

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Posted by Tony Bandiera Jr (Member # 2365) on 06-25-2008, 01:53 PM:
 
Especially with old guys like me..
 

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Posted by Ky Boyd (Member # 23) on 07-02-2008, 11:51 PM:
 
In answer to Robert's posted question back on page 22, we had Frameline 32 - the San Francisco International LGBT Film Festival at the Elmwood in Berkeley for four nights (eight programs) last week as a rental. Attendance was good and so were the movies. Two were 35mm, 1 was DV Cam, and the rest were BetaSP.

Meanwhile up at the Lakeside we continue with our monthly gay men's film series.
 

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Posted by Robert Crabtree (Member # 4795) on 07-18-2008, 03:29 PM:
 
Bumping this thread up, which of this weeks releases should attract the lion's share of the pink dollar?

DK should be awe-inspiringly huge, but....Mamma Mia is a musical with Meryl Streep.
 

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Posted by Joe Redifer (Member # 3) on 07-18-2008, 07:50 PM:
 
Mama Mia is attracting old people who bring their grandkids (presumably to torture them). Dark Knight is attracting the 35-and-under crowd.
 

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Posted by Tony Bandiera Jr (Member # 2365) on 07-21-2008, 02:51 PM:
 
Don't see any of the current crop appealing to GBLT audiences... and Mamma Mia, even though I like ABBA doesn't inspire me to go drop a ten-spot.
 

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Posted by Robert Crabtree (Member # 4795) on 10-10-2008, 01:36 PM:
 
The Tampa International Gay and Lesbian Film Festival has been going on for the past week and ends this Sunday. While some screenings have been held at Muvico's Baywalk, most were held at Tampa Theatre, which as the pics on CinemaTour show, is gorgeous.

Managed to see Almost Infamous, the Kinsey Sicks documentary, and might make it down to see Another Gay Sequel Saturday. Hopefully I'll get some pictures of the facility.
 

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Posted by Tony L. Hernandez (Member # 3524) on 10-10-2008, 11:12 PM:
 
Hmmmm cannot say as I've ever found a co-worker attractive nor have any of them been gay to my knowledge. I do have an associate who assists me with my theaters who is gay and I have had a king sized crush on him since the first time we met years ago. He does not seem too interested in me although I have dropped many hints. I would never be able to directly approach him about my feelings as I am morbidly shy. Of course, like every respectable projectionist, I have had my share of "dates" in the booth although I don't have much time for him when I have to pay attention to the presentation quality and make my changeover every 15-20 minutes.
I did have one guy in his early 30s (former projectionist himself) ask for a tour of the booth at one of my theaters. More flirting than technical information was exchanged however I had another hour of maintenance and repairs that he did not want to wait out and I'm really not into random hookups anyway.
Although I am now single and have been since May, I put every boyfriend I have to work at my theaters. After all, I am planning on staying in this business until the Lord takes me so whichever lucky guy finally gets me for life better know and like the business. Every boyfriend I have taken into the booth has been amazed by the whole process. However, one ex I had was a cocky SOB and told me what an easy job I had and how he would have no problem doing it, to which I asked if he would like to try his hand at threading up and making a changeover. He got slightly pale and nervously declined.

I am out at work, family,friends...everywhere. Have been since I was 15 and everyone is wonderful and supportive. The funny thing is when I am filling in at another theater or we get a new staff member who meets me for the first time; although my voice is quite deep, I look and dress "twink-ish" and have many other "gay" characteristics so when they see how well I run a booth and how hard I work, their jaws usually drop.

Robert, "Gays Gone Wild" is dirty and plain wrong but so fun and hilarious at the same time. Went to see it at the Chez Artiste in Denver with a couple friends and we adored it. It's quite a limited release to go see it as soon as you can! I was so glad it came to Denver...the Chez Artiste was the only place in the state playing it. Sadly the showing I saw was digital. Was great anyway.
 

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Posted by Geena Phillips (Member # 3726) on 10-14-2008, 11:30 PM:
 
My partner and I work for the same company. Her location is currently closed for renovations, so she's working at one of mine (technically a no-no) while I spend more time at another location.
 

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