This is topic Homeland security & new color-coded alert chart in forum Film-Yak at Film-Tech Forum ARCHIVE.
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Posted by David Stambaugh (Member # 1102) on 03-12-2002, 07:48 PM:
OK, I'm patriotic and supportive of the war on terrorism, and part of that is us being as ready as we can be here on our home ground. But is this color-coded alert status deal the dumbest thing they've come up with since Sept 11th?YELLOW ALERT! OK, what exactly are we supposed to do?
Is it ever possible to have a Green Alert? Wouldn't that mean there is no terrorist threat whatsoever? That's virtually impossible.
RED ALERT! Duck and cover!!
I don't get it. Just tell us what you know and be done with it.
Posted by Bobby Henderson (Member # 840) on 03-12-2002, 07:57 PM:
Yellow alert. Yellow alert. Bob has to pee. Yellow alert.
Posted by Bob Maar (Member # 763) on 03-12-2002, 08:59 PM:
My yellow alert came on the beach at Key West. When the first wave failed they sent us back to the home base. There but for you go I.Cpl. Robert F. Maar USMC 2003897 ....
....and the beat goes on (forty years later)
Posted by Dave Williams (Member # 299) on 03-13-2002, 03:29 AM:
Oh come on bob, you are an Admiral in our hearts.Did John Ashcroft watch WAY too much star trek or what? Red Alert, Yellow alert. And the ones inbetween, looks like biege alert and mustard alert.
As with Green alert? GREEN OH MY GOD ITS GREEN..>> RUN FOR THE BEACH WE ARE ON GREEN ALERT. AAAAUGH.
Dave
Posted by Dave Bird (Member # 490) on 03-13-2002, 07:46 AM:
Soylent Green??? It's PEE-Pullllllllllll!
Posted by Bobby Henderson (Member # 840) on 03-13-2002, 06:04 PM:
Green alert. Green alert. Bob is drank too many beers and is fixing to vomit. Green alert.
Posted by Ethan Harper (Member # 472) on 03-13-2002, 06:14 PM:
If you drink enough Red Bull, that will make your pee turn green.------------------
--"That's my story and i'm sticking to it!"--
Posted by Jerry Chase (Member # 660) on 03-13-2002, 06:55 PM:
I'm just waiting for the inevitable BROWN alert, just above red alert. 
"Oh, 
!!!!"
How about something a little more up-to-date than recycled WWII phrases? Some suggestions:
Teal alert! Martini Olive alert! (Bob's fav) Puce alert! Wintergreen alert! Mauve alert! Persimmon Pickle Alert!
At least if we are going to make these guys laugh at us, we need to make them stutter and choke.
Posted by Bob Maar (Member # 763) on 03-13-2002, 07:39 PM:
No, No No Olives it has to be an onion to be a "Gibson" NO OLIVES UNLESS THERE IS NOTHING ELSE......Whoa is me .... 
Posted by Gordon McLeod (Member # 33) on 03-13-2002, 07:58 PM:
Sorry Bob martini's have to have lots of giant olives
Posted by Bob Maar (Member # 763) on 03-13-2002, 08:10 PM:
Gord,I will attack them and do away with them....Eh!
Posted by Ethan Harper (Member # 472) on 03-13-2002, 08:42 PM:
What has the olive ever done to you? I would understand if they were killer olives like those tomatoes in that one movie but I have yet to see an olive of the sort.
------------------
--"That's my story and i'm sticking to it!"--
Posted by Bob Maar (Member # 763) on 03-13-2002, 09:01 PM:
Ethan, I like olives they are good friends of mine. However I love onions they add a special flavor to the main ingrediant which is Ice Cold Gin straight from the freezer. Ask Cordell or Jim Trevet they know the truth.
Posted by Jerry Chase (Member # 660) on 03-13-2002, 09:42 PM:
Bob, I soak my garlic cloves in vodka to preserve them, but I don't think I'd drink the vodka after that. Do you have onion breath? Hundreds of baby onions have given up their little onion lives so Bob can have his Gibsons. 
<sniff>
Posted by Dave Macaulay (Member # 813) on 03-13-2002, 09:44 PM:
Key West?
Posted by Gordon McLeod (Member # 33) on 03-13-2002, 09:44 PM:
Actually a clove of garlic in a martini with the olives is my definition of heaven
Posted by Bob Maar (Member # 763) on 03-14-2002, 01:10 PM:
Dave, Key West is where I was during the Cuban Missile Crisis. I was a small part of the 2nd Marine Division, out of Camp Lejune, North Carolina. We were scheduled to be in the second wave assault on Cuba. Everyone (Mostly Cuban Nationals) were killed in the first assault.......we were sent back North Carolina. and yes I peed yellow as well as Red, White and Blue...Semper Fi
Posted by Charles Everett (Member # 889) on 03-25-2002, 06:28 PM:
"Homeland security"? That's what you find in the Thousand-Year Reich."New color-coded alert chart"? That's what you get from the Crayola Man.
Posted by Andy Muirhead (Member # 712) on 03-25-2002, 06:48 PM:
For the benefit of all those outside the US, What's this all about?
Posted by Dave Williams (Member # 299) on 03-25-2002, 08:39 PM:
Well Andy, what this is all about is that we have a crackhead in the whitehouse who loves to give neat jobs to his beer buddies.In this case, Former Pennsylvania Governor Tom Ridge, has been named chief of homeland security. It is his job to coordinate all of our law enforcment agencies, from the FBI to the CIA to the DEA to the INS, etc.
In six months, he has so far come up with a color coded terrorist alert system. This is to replace our current system of Defense Condition, otherwise known as DEFCON. Our new system goes as follows...
Green Alert - normal amount of terrorism
Greenish Yellow Alert - Add four terrorists to the current count
Yellow Alert - Bob gets to pee on suspected terrorists
Yellowish Red alert - The terrorists stole Bobs Martini Olives
Red Alert - Another building just went down, and we need a color to make us feel more freaked out then we currently do.
So in other words, it is useless.
SNL did a great bit on this,
Off White Alert
White Alert
Egg White ALert
Off Egg White Alert
Egg Off White Alert
Or something like that... all the colors were the same... white..
Dave
ps.. i love good ol george bush, voted for him and loved it! Just wanted to see what would happen if we had a crackhead in the office.
Dave
Posted by John Pytlak (Member # 331) on 03-25-2002, 09:14 PM:
Some links:
http://www.uwire.com/content/topops032202002.html
http://www.state.oh.us/odps/sos/ohshome.htm ------------------
John P. Pytlak, Senior Technical Specialist
Worldwide Technical Services, Entertainment Imaging
Research Labs, Building 69, Room 7525A
Rochester, New York, 14650-1922 USA
Tel: +1 585 477 5325 Cell: +1 585 781 4036 Fax: +1 585 722 7243
E-Mail: john.pytlak@kodak.com
Web site: http://www.kodak.com/go/motion