Film-Tech Forum ARCHIVE: The worst policy trailer EVER???

This is topic The worst policy trailer EVER??? in forum Film-Yak at Film-Tech Forum ARCHIVE.

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Posted by Brad Miller (Member # 2) on 02-08-2003, 01:25 AM:

Anyone think they can top this one for worst policy trailer of all time? I seriously doubt Lowes actually used this one, but if they did...no, I don't even want to think about it. [puke]

KOKO the policy gorilla!

LARGE version 3.8 megs

SMALL version 2.1 megs

Both sizes in QuickTime format.

Posted by Jason Whyte (Member # 1433) on 02-08-2003, 01:35 AM:

Is this for real??

I thought those "Generic Policy Ads" for independent theaters were pretty awful, but that's pretty terrible.....

Jason

Posted by David Favel (Member # 1125) on 02-08-2003, 01:53 AM:

In their procedures it sounds like it is a rule that you MUST visit the concession stand.

This whole thing is dumb

Posted by Manny Knowles (Member # 1171) on 02-08-2003, 02:46 AM:

That trailer brought me a lot of joy. I busted a gut and I'm still laughing.

Without a doubt, it's the funniest thing I've seen all day. I loved it!

Was that Joe's idea?

Posted by Mike Olpin (Member # 1115) on 02-08-2003, 02:47 AM:

Is Koko the Policy Gorilla available for hire?
I have a few litter-bug customers i'd like him to "take care of"

Posted by Joe Redifer (Member # 3) on 02-08-2003, 03:10 AM:

KOKO the policy gorilla kicks ass! He even manhandles the customers FORCING them to buy a large popcorn! KOKO should be the new Film-Tech mascot!

PS - Manny, no that was not my idea. If it were, I think you'd being seeing
A) Better video
B) Perhaps a shot or two done on a tripod.
C) Better humor
D) More violence
E) 5.1 audio

Posted by Sean McKinnon (Member # 612) on 02-08-2003, 04:00 AM:

I dont want to spoil the joke guys but that was from the "Little film big screen" contest or whatever it was called, It was a contest where our guests were invited to make thier own policy trailers and enter them in the contest. btw its Loews not Lowes thats the hardware store [Wink]

Posted by Scott Norwood (Member # 30) on 02-08-2003, 07:50 AM:

This is great because it's so terrible. I'd love to have a 35mm print of this one....

Posted by Brad Miller (Member # 2) on 02-08-2003, 01:23 PM:

Sorry about the spelling Sean. (Perhaps Loews should sue Lowes for screwing up the general public's spelling with their home improvement centers.)

Policy trailer contest? Wow, that idea sure backfired. I mean this thing is BAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAD! Got any more we could add to start a collection of terrible policy ad attempts?

Joe you forgot:
F) Lots of blood spilled

Posted by Michael Brown (Member # 890) on 02-08-2003, 02:06 PM:

Have you ever considered making a 'Filmguard' ad?

Something like the Spoonguard ad:
http://www.rathergood.com/spoonguard/

Posted by Tim Reed (Member # 137) on 02-08-2003, 04:12 PM:

Okay, since we're talking unusual policy trailers, I couldn't resist offering this one of mine - the world's only generic policy trailer for drive-ins.
Drive-In Policy Trailer

Posted by Evans A Criswell (Member # 381) on 02-08-2003, 04:32 PM:

I prefer this trailer any day to the one Regal used for a while with the Pepsi girl with the man voice. The Regal Pepsi girl one is the worst one of all time! The gorilla one doesn't even come close to being that bad.

Posted by Dennis Benjamin (Member # 1137) on 02-08-2003, 06:32 PM:

The WORST policy trailer EVER (I have seen hundreds of them):

The Crown Theatres "lion" trailer. It is really poor animation and the 'theme' song is the tune from "Working my way back to you babe" except they substitute "Working my way back to you Crown". The lion dances around singing the song and throwing popcorn around dancing on top of the seats.

(How bad is it?) A MINISTER from a church was leaving one afternoon from a show and I asked him how his 'movie going' experience was. He said that it was 'great', except that we really need to get rid of that DAMN annoying policy trailer!

Posted by Mark Lensenmayer (Member # 134) on 02-08-2003, 07:15 PM:

Loved the Gorilla. It reminds me a bit of the Reebok TERRY TATE, OFFICE LINEBACKER commercials, like the one on the Super Bowl. They have an excellent new one on their website that follows up on the Nike NAKED RUNNING GUY AT THE SOCCER GAME commercial. I think they are VERY funny.

Terry Tate could make one terrific policy trailer!

Terry Tate, Office LineBacker

Posted by Scott Norwood (Member # 30) on 02-08-2003, 07:39 PM:

Tim--how about doing a version with Koko the car-crushing gorilla..."Follow the rules or walk home!"?

[Smile]

Posted by Mathew Molloy (Member # 666) on 02-09-2003, 12:09 AM:

Los Angeles area Film-Techs are sure to hate most of the L.A. Times ads, but particularly the "puppet" ad.

"...talking with the hands..." Aaaarrghghgh!!!

Posted by Sean McKinnon (Member # 612) on 02-09-2003, 01:19 AM:

Brad,

If you mosey your way on over to DOUBLE U DOUBLE U DOUBLE U DOT ENJOY THE SHOW DOT COM and click on the "Trailer Park" link it lists a bunch of policy trailers including the "thank you for coming to loews" song (including the bouncing ball for the words so everyone in the theatre can sing along) and the muppets trailer.

I forgive you for the spelling its just funny sometimes when I worked at the Liberty Tree Mall Theatre we had a Lowes in the same city so I would get calls for Al in plumbing a lot.

Posted by Pravin Ratnam (Member # 1417) on 02-09-2003, 02:05 AM:

I hated the AMC policy trailers which were replaced recently. The one where all the film reels fall with a lot of clanging noise for the Slience is Golden policy trailer. Then the reel mascot as a conductor got annoying real fast

Posted by Tim Reed (Member # 137) on 02-09-2003, 04:13 AM:

quote:
how about doing a version with Koko the car-crushing gorilla

Scott

We did do a joke version for conventions, that said "Don't make us open up a can of whoop-ass on you!", Instead of "We Appreciate Your Cooperation".
[Big Grin]

Posted by Jason Black (Member # 684) on 02-09-2003, 03:12 PM:

Sean,

I couldn't find the link you mentioned. The trailers link states that they currently aren't working. There is no Trailer Park link that I could see.

Posted by Tim Reed (Member # 137) on 02-09-2003, 03:43 PM:

Me, neither.

Posted by Thomas Procyk (Member # 1170) on 02-10-2003, 12:37 PM:

That policy trailer is horrible! It even says PLAY and has a COUNTER in the corner, so you KNOW it was shot on video! [Wink]

=TMP=

Posted by Don E. Nelson (Member # 1049) on 02-10-2003, 02:35 PM:

....are you sure this is how Rick Baker got stated??--- [Confused]

Maybe so, gotta start somewhere, I guess, the good looking APE costumes have to come from somewhere.

Posted by Bobby Henderson (Member # 840) on 02-10-2003, 05:19 PM:

I think the policy trailer would have been better if Koko threw some of his stinky ape feces into the face of the cellphone user. [bs]

Posted by Dino Panagiotopoulos (Member # 1579) on 02-11-2003, 02:45 PM:

Im not too keen on Famous Players' new policy trailers. I think the older ones (even when they were all scratched up and dirty) were better than the new ones.

I think the best policy trailers I had seen from all theaters I have visited are definitely the Cineplex Odeon trailers. I dont say this because I work for the company but because they are truly the best ones I have seen. [thumbsup]

Posted by Don Bruechert (Member # 1538) on 02-12-2003, 08:57 AM:

We had a bunch of policy trailers from Pepsi that had a bunch of Barbie dolls doing various bad things. One was on a cellphone and they electrocuted her, one was making a mess and they sucked her into a vaccuum cleaner, two were smoking and they hosed them down, etc. Then they ended up in a "large" pepsi cup set up to look like a hot tub - there were some suspicious looking bubbles at the end that looked like one of them farted.... it was pretty funny about the first 5 movies I saw it on - then it got stupid real fast.

Posted by Charles Everett (Member # 889) on 03-16-2003, 11:38 AM:

"Survivor", now in use by National Amusements. A thinly disguised promo for a TV show on a network that shares corporate ties with the theater chain. Corporate Synergy at its worst!

National Amusements should have brought back the Pepsi Girl. [Big Grin]

Posted by Tim Reed (Member # 137) on 03-16-2003, 02:23 PM:

NA is particularly bad about stuff like that. I remember the Nickelodeon cartoon characters trailer, circa 1995. Blatant cross-media plugging.

Posted by System Notices (Member # 2357) on 04-11-2006, 11:41 AM:

It has been 1121 days since the last post.

Posted by Paul Hemme (Member # 1334) on 04-11-2006, 11:41 AM:

Anyone remember the UA Dinosaur animated policy? That was pretty bad, if I remember correctly, it reachs down and eats a talking patron? Correct me if I'm wrong, its been a long time since I've seen it and UA didn't run them long.

Posted by Joe Redifer (Member # 3) on 04-11-2006, 02:02 PM:

I wish he was eaten! But noooooo.

It looks like something cool will happen.

But then the entire audience is disappointed by the oh-so-friendly dinosaur.

This sure brought in the Jurassic Park fans to UA theaters. This policy trailer has all of the action and excitement of those flicks. AWESOME!

Posted by Chad M Calpito (Member # 3736) on 04-15-2006, 01:50 AM:

One policy trailer that I thought was bad was Ultra Star Cinemas Policy Trailer. Man, talk about a total generic trailer. Of course, this was 6 years ago when I worked for the company as an Assistant Manager/Film Projectionist. Unfortunatley, I don't have any links or anything like that. But, it was very generic, to say the least. I'm sure the company has since updated their Policy Trailer.

Mainly, they used computer graphics and the music was sort of cheesy. But, the colors were bright.

Posted by Dennis Benjamin (Member # 1137) on 04-15-2006, 12:16 PM:

Head on over to Filmack's website. They got some cheesy ones. The "Mom" trailer is funny for about a second.

filmack.com

Posted by Chad M Calpito (Member # 3736) on 04-15-2006, 06:09 PM:

Thanks for telling me about that website, Dennis. I visited the site and suddenly noticed the exact one that I had to include in the trailer pack at Ultra Star Cinemas La Costa 6. It was the Gift Certificate policy trailers, just right before the actual movie. Man, I thought that was cheesy. But, what can I say? They wanted to promote their Gift Certificates. So, I would have to say cheers to Ultra Star Cinemas for the effort. They, at least get a [thumbsup]