Film-Tech Forum ARCHIVE: Horrible "kid flicks"

This is topic Horrible "kid flicks" in forum Film-Yak at Film-Tech Forum ARCHIVE.

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Posted by Charles Everett (Member # 889) on 04-06-2003, 03:08 PM:

I've taken up Brad's offer from the Reviews section and started this post.

My choice? Babe: Pig in the City [puke]

This nightmare was done strictly for the product placement. The president of Universal at the time resigned after only 2 weeks on the job because this sequel tanked on its opening (opposite A Bug's Life and The Rugrats Movie). His predecessor had led U through a major-league cold streak.

Posted by Scott Norwood (Member # 30) on 04-06-2003, 08:50 PM:

I haven't seen it personally, but apparently there's an '80s film called "Mac and Me" which is essentially one big McDonald's commercial.

Posted by Darryl Spicer (Member # 711) on 04-06-2003, 09:25 PM:

Yep, released in 1988 Mac and Me was essentially a big McDonalds ad. The intention of the film was to raise money for the McDonalds childrens fund. McDonalds prabably made more on peoples loose change than they did on that piece of crap.

Here is a bad one. I had to run the film The Little Prince (1974) for a childrens film fest. Talk about boring and depressing.

Posted by Aaron Sisemore (Member # 145) on 04-06-2003, 10:01 PM:

quote:
apparently there's an '80s film called "Mac and Me" which is essentially one big McDonald's commercial.

Not to mention that it tiptoed the razor-thin line of potentially (gratuitously?) ripping off 'E.T.:The Extra-Terrestrial"...I am surprised to this day that Universal didn't sue Orion into the Stone Age for that travesty.

Some other BAD kiddie flicks:

-Kids' Movies apparently made with the sole intention of selling a commercial product (blatant TV-style advertising, as opposed to 'product placements'):

'Transformers: The Movie'
'The Care Bears Movie' and all its sequels
'Garbage Pail Kids'
'The Wizard'

-Kids' Movies that try WAY TOO HARD to 'be, or at least look like, Disney':

'The Last Unicorn'
'Heidi's Song'
'Thumbelina'*
'The Land Before Time'*
'Rock-A-Doodle'*
'Pagemaster'
*Movies done by Disney expatriate Don Bluth, which which explains some of the 'Disney look-and-feel' factor...

-Kid's movies that seemingly push a 'politically correct' agenda:

'Fern Gully'
'The Iron Giant' (In its defense, IG is a well-made, very entertaining film, but was the anti-gun message contained within REALLY necessary?)

-Aaron

Posted by Nicholas Roznovsky (Member # 861) on 04-06-2003, 11:21 PM:

Disney's "Return to Oz" (1985). Quite possibly one of the freakiest kiddie shows ever made. It's really too dark for the target audience, although I imagine drunk college kids might get a kick out of it. [beer]

Fairuza Balk played Dorothy. I think that speaks for itself.

Posted by James R. Hammonds, Jr (Member # 673) on 04-07-2003, 12:07 AM:

Dude, I LOVE Fairuza Balk!

Posted by Thomas Procyk (Member # 1170) on 04-07-2003, 01:16 AM:

Many times I've seen the dumbest kids movies come out, and you KNOW dumb little kids are going to flock to it even before you build the print:

-The Adventures of Elmo in Grouchland
-Air Bud
-Air Bud 2: Golden Reciever
-Feivel Goes West
-The Land Before Time (would have been OK, but someone seriously needs to kill this video franchise!!!)
-Flintstones in Viva Rock Vegas
-Pokemon
-Pokemon 2000
-Pokemon 3
-Pokemon 4Ever
-Pokemon Heroes (I just have this feeling...)
-3 Ninjas
-3 Ninjas Kick Back
-3 Ninjas High Noon at Mega Mountain
-Balto
-Baby Geniuses
-Blank Check
-Fairy Tale: A True Story
-Muppets From Space
-MVP: Most Valuable Primate
-Rugrats
-Rugrats In Paris
-Rugrats Go Wild (Again, I just have this feeling...)
-Thomas and the Magic Railroad
-The Tigger Movie
-Tom and Jerry: The Movie (they should have NEVER talked!!!)
-Zeus and Roxanne
-Ferngully: The Last Rainforest
-Ferngully 2: The Magical Rescue
-Free Willy 2: The Adventure Home (first one wasn't bad but...)
-Free Willy 3: The Rescue
-Happily Ever After
-Jungle 2 Jungle
-Kazzam
-Space Jam

There, that should cover it. [Wink]

=TMP=

Posted by David Favel (Member # 1125) on 04-07-2003, 03:24 AM:

Baby Geniuses, bad, bad, bad.

Posted by Scott Norwood (Member # 30) on 04-07-2003, 08:11 AM:

Thomas--you forgot "Country Bears"!

Posted by Matthew Nock (Member # 1575) on 04-07-2003, 08:40 AM:

Scott wrote:

quote:
Thomas--you forgot "Country Bears"!

Is that the film that we made up, and left sitting on the bottom platter for a week then broke down again? the one with the freaky looking bears in it, and something about some guy kidnapping his own children?

I am glad it only ran once, to two people, cause it freaked me out, what I saw of it.

Posted by Darryl Spicer (Member # 711) on 04-07-2003, 09:25 AM:

Magic in the Water....We had oreo cookies out the but that we were supposed to hand out to people. Never had enough people to hand them out too. [Smile]

Posted by Thomas Procyk (Member # 1170) on 04-07-2003, 11:40 AM:

quote:
Thomas--you forgot "Country Bears"!

No I didn't... since no one "flocked" to it! Not even the dumbest of the dumb little kids. [Razz]

=TMP=

Posted by Andrew Duggan (Member # 1302) on 04-07-2003, 12:18 PM:

Oh man I'm glad somebody besides me is completely freaked out by Return To Oz. It's a truely demented movie.

And I will fight to the death to defend "Transformers: The Movie" [Big Grin]

Posted by Jesse Skeen (Member # 586) on 04-07-2003, 03:28 PM:

"The Wizard" is a true guilty pleasure, since it's such a blatant advertisement for Nintendo- "I love the Power Glove. It's so bad." "Well you just keep your power gloves off her!"
I bought it on laserdisc for 4 bucks when Ken Crane's was blowing out the last of their LDs. "Mac and Me" is also funny in its blatant product-placement, but it's so low-budget you just feel sorry for everyone in it.
One I've never seen but need to is "Million Dollar Mystery", which stars Tom Bosley and has product placements for Glad trash bags (where I've heard the movie belongs!) It actually did award a million dollars to one person who figured out the mystery in the film too.

Posted by Carl Martin (Member # 1146) on 04-08-2003, 05:12 PM:

oh come now, muppets in space was a fine movie, perhaps not as good as the first couple muppets movies, but it definitely had all-ages appeal. and i also liked elmo in grouchland. it had about the coolest call for audience participation i've seen. it started with a countdown leader, and asked the kids to count down along with it, because that's how you start movies. unfortunately it was a pretty empty house.

the best thing about these films is the lo-tech but brilliant puppetry. it's like the intricate model work of the real star wars movies, as compared to the jack-off cg we see now. great songs too. clearly they are made by people who completely understand and love the medium they're working in. and they don't condescend.

carl

Posted by Mike Blakesley (Member # 26) on 04-08-2003, 06:57 PM:

I didn't like "Space Jam" much either. It has a fundamental flaw: Bugs Bunny would never ask for "help" from ANYONE, he'd just humiliate his adversary all by himself, somehow. The movie had a great sound mix, but that was about it.

Although I did love the scene where Bugs asks Daffy if he ever gets any cash from all the lunch pails, underwear, sheets, etc. with their pictures on them.

Daffy: "Naah, not a cent....we're gettin' screwed." [Big Grin]

Posted by John Lasher (Member # 968) on 04-12-2003, 12:03 AM:

Ah yes, "Rock-a-Doodle", "Thumbelina", "A Troll in Central Park" and "The Pebble and the Penguin" are arguably among the worst kids movies made within the last 2 decades. I have heard a rumor that the Bluth studio had difficulties (both creative and financial) between "All Dogs Go to Heaven" and "Anastasia". (I do like some of the music from "Thumbelina" and "TPATP", but then I've payed money to hear Barry Manilow in concert, twice!)

Another absolutely awful kids movie is "All Dogs Go To Heaven 2" my mom rented it one time and I honestly believe more time and effort were spent designing the box than writing the script.

If I really took the time, I could probably make a long list. But I don't feel like devoting that much time to movies I'd rather forget.