Film-Tech Forum ARCHIVE: Stupid Sexual Enhancement Device, Maybe Dangerous

This is topic Stupid Sexual Enhancement Device, Maybe Dangerous in forum Film-Yak at Film-Tech Forum ARCHIVE.

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Posted by Bill Enos (Member # 440) on 05-13-2003, 08:49 AM:

Ever wonder what you get? The email said "not vacuum operated" I ordered it thru an email address that was immediately cancelled. Two weeks later it arrived. The penis lengthener consisted of a small elastic band with a loop in one end. This band was to be placed around they part the be lenghtened with the end of the band to be slipped thru the loop and then the band snugged. There was a similar but larger band to be placed around an ankle. Connect the bands with the string provided, tensioning to suit. Enhancement while you walk. Instructions suggested that tightening the string would bring faster results. Also there were cautions about not cutting off circulation, bet that would hurt. $10. Has the FDA tested this for effectiveness? Pretty stupid but you know somebody's using one.

Posted by Michael Schaffer (Member # 1204) on 05-13-2003, 09:04 AM:

I don`t understand how this works. What does the walking around do? Can you post a picture of you wearing the device for clarification?

Posted by Bob Maar (Member # 763) on 05-13-2003, 09:20 AM:

Please do not post picture send it via private mail to those who want to see it.. DO NOT SEND IT TO ME. [puke]

Posted by Don Bruechert (Member # 1538) on 05-13-2003, 11:53 AM:

Sounds kinda like it is designed so that as you walk around it yanks on your crank with each step - kinda like a stretching exercise where you stretch your muscles a little at a time.... I could see this cutting off the circulation or worse... What happens if a mugger approaches and you have to run? That could really hurt!

Posted by Paul G. Thompson (Member # 655) on 05-13-2003, 02:32 PM:

BAH!!!

People who use those devices to "enhance" themselves are totally stark ravin' sterile-assed nuts!!!

Mark my words.....the day will come when you land in the hospital and the doctor has to jam a tube up that thing to drain your bladder while you are still conscious. [Embarrassed]

At that time, I can assure you that "every inch of your manliness" is one inch too much! [Eek!]

And, when they remove it, they just simply latch on to it and "give it a yank!" Your eyeballs will rotate like a jackpot machine. [Big Grin]

Been there...... [Frown]

Posted by Bobby Henderson (Member # 840) on 05-13-2003, 03:09 PM:

Paul, that gives new insight as to why you are called "The Weenie Man!" [Eek!]

Posted by Michael Harlow (Member # 1353) on 05-13-2003, 03:57 PM:

Strewth! Be happy with what you've got, or someone elses if you're that way inclined! [Eek!]

Posted by Bill Enos (Member # 440) on 05-13-2003, 05:54 PM:

No, Michael I'll not post a picture. It was ordered just to see what it was. This thing certainly cannot have cost more than a dollar to produce. I womder how many have been sold? Every time you see some guy walking a little strange it might be because of one of these.

Posted by Michael Schaffer (Member # 1204) on 05-13-2003, 10:16 PM:

quote:
It was ordered just to see what it was.

Yes sure, Bill, we all order things all the time just to see what they are...
I am not sure if it`s true what they say - size doesn`t matter. Anyway, I will think of you every time I see someone walking a bit strangely. You know these things butchers use to make steaks bigger and broader? These hammer-like things that you can use to beat meat into a broad flat shape? You may want to try one of these next. Maybe it`ll hurt a bit. But after a short healing period, maybe it will have the desired effect.

Posted by Rachel Gilardi (Member # 1016) on 05-13-2003, 10:35 PM:

Ewww, just get a penis pump.

Posted by Phil Hill (Member # 371) on 05-13-2003, 10:37 PM:

Rach: You speakin' from experience? [Razz]

>>>Phil

Posted by Rachel Gilardi (Member # 1016) on 05-14-2003, 01:58 AM:

Probably more then you Phil! [thumbsup]

Although not with myself, you beat me there...

Posted by Jon Miller (Member # 163) on 05-14-2003, 07:37 PM:

Now why would anyone actually publicly admit to trying one of those "enhancement" devices?

[Confused]

Posted by Leo Enticknap (Member # 534) on 05-15-2003, 02:55 PM:

Examples of people who tried sexual enhanements and lived (and in some cases, not lived) to regret it can be found on this website. It won't let me cut and paste links from specific pages, but hunt around long enough and you'll find SEDs including a vacuum cleaner, tyre inflation air hose and even a gerbil! [evil]

Posted by William Hooper (Member # 71) on 07-17-2003, 03:18 AM:

I also ordered one, only out of curiosity.

I've only had time to get it out of the box, & have not had a chance to look at the instructions yet. I will say that I am surprised that the quality of manufacture seems to be higher than I would have expected from something sold by such cheap advertising.

Posted by Joe Redifer (Member # 3) on 07-17-2003, 03:44 AM:

That looks painful. And hilarious. Gotta laugh. I do believe that anyone who would use one of these has definite self-image issues.

Why not just buy an expensive sports car to compensate instead?

Posted by Brad Miller (Member # 2) on 07-17-2003, 04:39 AM:

At least the stretcher comes in a nice package. [Razz]

Posted by Bruce McGee (Member # 131) on 07-17-2003, 06:58 AM:

Nice hooks, too. Good for those industrial-size jobs.

Can we use polyester film and get this topic back toward film, somehow? I think that a length of 35 down your pants might create a bit of static. Somehow, a little shock now and then might make a difference.

Another use for FilmGuard. Reduces static cling. [Roll Eyes]

Posted by John Pytlak (Member # 331) on 07-17-2003, 08:49 AM:

quote:
Can we use polyester film and get this topic back toward film, somehow? I think that a length of 35 down your pants might create a bit of static. Somehow, a little shock now and then might make a difference.

Won't work with Kodak VISION Color Print film, since it has a conductive layer on the backside to dissipate any static charging. It does have very high tensile strength though.

Posted by Andrew Duggan (Member # 1302) on 07-17-2003, 10:23 AM:

Wow, Kodak saves my love life AGAIN! Is there no end to what these magicians can do!? [Big Grin]

Posted by Paul G. Thompson (Member # 655) on 07-17-2003, 01:08 PM:

Hmmm. A come-along! I can use one of those devices to drag heavy projection equipment out of my storage shed. Beats tying a rope to a trailer hitch of my truck and dragging it out.

Posted by Rachel Gilardi (Member # 1016) on 07-17-2003, 04:00 PM:

I can't believe this topic came back up ....

Posted by Per Hauberg (Member # 529) on 07-17-2003, 05:44 PM:

Maybe it is time to launch some kind of rating-system on FT...?

Posted by Phil Hill (Member # 371) on 07-17-2003, 05:59 PM:

Oh OH! I sense some Control Freaks & "GOVERNMENT" types wanting to control all of US and what we can say ...again!

>>> Phil

Posted by Rachel Gilardi (Member # 1016) on 07-17-2003, 08:55 PM:

How did I know Phil would jump at the opportunity to respond to that... [Razz]

Posted by Adam Martin (Member # 641) on 07-18-2003, 12:30 AM:

John said "backside".

Posted by Phil Hill (Member # 371) on 07-18-2003, 02:04 AM:

Adam... He said "layer on the backside" Hehe hehehe hehhe ehhehe [evil]

>>> Phil

Posted by Brad Miller (Member # 2) on 07-18-2003, 02:49 AM:

This mp3 file seems awful appropriate right about now. [Big Grin]

(1.36MB)

Posted by Joe Redifer (Member # 3) on 07-18-2003, 03:32 AM:

Almost funny. Not quite though. Repetitive more than anything. Download should come with a warning: Second rate comedy club clip.... download with caution! [Smile]

Phil will probably like it since he is also second rate. [Big Grin]

Posted by Brad Miller (Member # 2) on 07-18-2003, 03:33 AM:

Me thinks the man with the finger doesn't appreciate the humor of Phil, Adam and Rachel. [Razz]

Heh, you said "download".

Posted by Joe Redifer (Member # 3) on 07-18-2003, 03:35 AM:

No, not really. I made it out of pre-school. Puns and the like are the devil.

Posted by Per Hauberg (Member # 529) on 07-18-2003, 04:44 AM:

Does them Phil Suits come with an attachment kit for the vacuum sucker devise ? Would Phil have to buy such a devise, or could he manage with an ordinary vacuum cleaner ?

Will Joe Redifer make an instruction video on this to assure, Phil is not getting harmed ?

Could the "devise" do harm to very small sausages (forgot the right word for those, sorry - something with a "W"..

Will not the lady FT members envy the gents, if the "devise" is going to be next years FT present instead of T-shirts ?

These, and many other questions may be answered in the next episode - so stay tuned !

Posted by Phil Hill (Member # 371) on 07-18-2003, 07:06 PM:

Well Brad, I was going to post how I thought your MP3 was a BIG POS, but I didn't want to hurt your feelings...so I let it slide.

Then I noticed Joe said all I was going to say.

After I read his post, and signed off he added:

"Phil will probably like it since he is also second rate"

I didn't see that until today.

Brad, lighten up on Joe... as he sez, he only made it out of pre-school. He has yet to attend an institution of higher learning.... [Razz]

>>> Phil

Posted by Brad Miller (Member # 2) on 07-18-2003, 07:23 PM:

Sorry you didn't appreciate the humor there Phil. Here is something more up your alley. It's a stage reproduction of an old visit of yours to the family that reveals where you got your sense of humor. By the way, when did you stop going by Quennel Hill and use your middle name Phil? [Razz]

(1.99MB)

Posted by Phil Hill (Member # 371) on 07-18-2003, 07:39 PM:

Whew! What a waste of bandwidth and HD storage!

Another LAME POS! You have way too much free time!

>>> Phil

Posted by Brad Miller (Member # 2) on 07-18-2003, 07:46 PM:

and yet you jumped right on the download. [Big Grin]

I'm actually surprised you didn't find that funny being you love "insulting humor" so much.

Posted by Phil Hill (Member # 371) on 07-18-2003, 08:42 PM:

You think I would not listen to it since you baited me? HA! What planet are you on?

BTW: I'm not into "insulting humor"... I just tell it like it is!

>>> Phil

Posted by Joe Redifer (Member # 3) on 07-18-2003, 09:12 PM:

With Phil's every post, he attempts to "stir the pot". It's all he has left in life. [Smile]

Posted by Manny Knowles (Member # 1171) on 07-18-2003, 09:34 PM:

Brad -- Don't mind Joe and Phil. That first file is hilarious.

I'd like to get this thread back on track and I think we should start at the beginning. I'm hoping for some open and frank dialogue vis a vis the perceived need for a larger male member...