Film-Tech Forum ARCHIVE: What a balls up!

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Posted by Dick Vaughan (Member # 540) on 07-11-2003, 02:41 AM:

From our local free paper Metro today:

A burglar dropped a bollock when he broke into the home of pensioners Joyce and Leslie Edwards.
The clumsy thief slipped as he tried to climb through their window and sliced off one of his testicles on the shards of glass caused when the pane shattered under his weight.
The raider's plight was discovered by 80-year-old Mrs Edwards who heard the sound of crashing glass in her bathroom

When she went to investigate, she found the man dangling half in and half out of the window - his private parts firmly impaled on a vicious spike of glass and blood pouring from his wounds.
"He cried out to me 'I'm dying, please help me' but I was so cross I shouted back 'good!' and ran out of the house," said sprightly Mrs Edwards.
The thief, who had tried to climb in through the Edwards' metal framed windows at their bungalow home in Crowthorne, Berks., had slipped as he tried to open the top quarter-light.
Moments later his feet crashed though the big frosted glass window, sending lethally sharp fragments everywhere.
Worse was to come because as he slid forward, the glass sliced his right testicle, his groin was cut in numerous places - and he became trapped by his belt which hooked over the window handle peg.
Mrs Edwards said: "He was screaming blue murder but I was in no mood to be sympathetic.
"He was trying to burgle our house while we were asleep and goodness knows what he might have done if he had got into the house before we woke up.

Posted by Leo Enticknap (Member # 534) on 07-11-2003, 03:16 AM:

I'd nominate him for a Darwin award.

In yesterday's local paper:

quote:
A woman deliberately left a 12ft python behind when she left her council flat following a dispute. The unnamed tenant of a council flat in Lydney, Glos., told officials by 'phone that 'I'm catching a train to Norfolk and I'm not coming back. I've left a Burmese python in the flat.' Housing officers rang the RSPCA, which sent two inspectors to collect the four-stone snake which they found curled up and asleep in the living room. It is being cared for at a reptile centre in Birmingham. A spokesman for Forest of Dean district council said: 'It is the strangest thing a tenant has ever told our housing department.'