This is topic Member Signature's Explained... in forum Film-Yak at Film-Tech Forum ARCHIVE.


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Posted by Phil Hill (Member # 371) on 08-17-2003, 07:05 AM:
 
With apologies in advance to those quoted. Just thoughts on some of the sigs I see on here...

"Better Projection Pays!" Pays who? Certainly NOT the projectionist!

"Experience is inversly proportional to the amount of the equipment ruined!" Actually I have found that "Experience is DIRECTLY proportional to the amount of equipment ruined."

"...Which means that all men are homosexuals!" Yeah, sure. Now where is that turnip truck you just fell off of?

"Candy is dandy, but liquor is quicker" Maybe, but "Candy is dandy and liquor is quicker, but sex wont rot your teeth."

"Shouting is the effort of a limited mind to express itself." Or when dealing with fu*king stupid people!

"Forget you guys. I am going to build my own theme park with blackjack and hookers. In fact, forget the theme park." Now that sounds like a plan.

"UGLINESS, n. A gift of the gods to certain women, entailing virtue without humility." How sexist! That also applies to guys!

"Place ice in Shaker pour in dry vermouth, Shake, Pour out vermouth. Pour in Gin. Shake. Pour into Martini Glass add three cocktail onions. Welcome to Heaven." Now, who can argue with THAT!?

"Film is made of silver, video is made of rust" Sounds like a motto from some "other" website.

etc...

>>> Phil
 

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Posted by Bob Maar (Member # 763) on 08-17-2003, 09:35 AM:
 
Fank use Fill, Eye's vant use to ka Ka K-no I a-a-a prec e ate, Da ki end woird's.
 

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Posted by Rachel Gilardi (Member # 1016) on 08-17-2003, 11:26 AM:
 
Yeah yeah yeah Phil... You're right, my ugliness quote also applies to you! Only in that Rambo get-up tho...
 

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Posted by Josh Jones (Member # 447) on 08-17-2003, 12:29 PM:
 
I must be doing pretty good. I was quoted twice

Josh
 

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Posted by Tim Reed (Member # 137) on 08-17-2003, 01:23 PM:
 
HAHA! Phil, it pays the theatre owners... and they get that free from the projectionist! I think that's the way it's supposed to work.

 

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Posted by Joe Redifer (Member # 3) on 08-17-2003, 05:50 PM:
 
My signature at another sight was "Signatures are Stupid".

Really. I see some that are supposed to be witty and funny or whatnot. Who cares? Why do I want to read the same stupid one liner every time you post? Am I supposed to chuckle each time as well?

One thing I like about vBulletin forum software is the option in the user control panel to turn off the viewing of other people's signature. That kicks ass. That way you only see the relevant text in the post. vBulletin is also cool because it places a little black dot next to the threads you have posted in. vBulletin is still even more cool because you can you can, for example, view the site at work and see the threads with new posts highlighted (similar to the red folders here). When you get home and access the forum from a different computer, only the threads that have been updated since you looked at it from work are highlighted. UBB relies on individual cookies in each browser to tell it when you last had access. So if you haven't been to Film-Tech in a month on a certain computer, it'll think ALL the threads are new, even though you've looked at the site every 10 seconds on a different computer. UBB leaves much to be desired. Get crackin' Daryl!

Sorry I drifted so much from the topic.
 

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Posted by Brad Miller (Member # 2) on 08-17-2003, 07:30 PM:
 
Daryl, how many cases of nacho chips do you need for the job?

By the way, it was Daryl who hacked in the smaller type size for signatures. I just skip over them personally.
 

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Posted by Phil Hill (Member # 371) on 08-17-2003, 09:00 PM:
 
Rach: That ain't my "Rambo" gear... That's what I wear to go to the grocery market. M-60 machine guns and M-79 gernade launchers and wearing bullets are necessary here.

I live in Los Angeles ya know!

>>> Phil
 

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Posted by Michael Schaffer (Member # 1204) on 08-17-2003, 09:18 PM:
 
Rachel - you are not ugly. Beauty comes from within. We are all unique, like snowflakes.
 

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Posted by Joe Redifer (Member # 3) on 08-17-2003, 10:56 PM:
 
"Find the beauty within"? That's insulting. If someone said that to me I'd ask "Why you callin' me ugly? You are telling me that I need to find beauty elsewhere since I don't have it externally." Snowflakes are boring until they all start piling up on eachother and create 4 feet of crazy snow!

Phil, do you also have the cigarette in your mouth when you go to the store as well?
 

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Posted by Phil Hill (Member # 371) on 08-17-2003, 11:19 PM:
 
Joe, that's not a cig. It's the last one of my buck-teeth before I had it removed...

>>> Phil
 

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Posted by Steven Privett (Member # 718) on 08-30-2003, 10:49 AM:
 
everyone go get a new forum signature. www.coolsig.com

it has funny answering machine messages too: Hi! Dave's answering machine is broken. This is his refrigerator. Please speak very slowly, and I'll stick your message to myself with one of these magnets.
 

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Posted by Mike Blakesley (Member # 26) on 08-30-2003, 12:20 PM:
 
"Funny answering machine messages" are the quickest way to get me to slam the phone WITHOUT leaving a message.
 

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Posted by Brad Miller (Member # 2) on 08-30-2003, 02:35 PM:
 

quote:

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"Funny answering machine messages" are the quickest way to get me to slam the phone WITHOUT leaving a message.

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That as well as people who read verbatim the example outgoing announcement from the answering machine's manual. We all know how answering machines work now! We know to wait until after the beep to begin talking. Don't insult us.
 

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Posted by Manny Knowles (Member # 1171) on 08-30-2003, 07:25 PM:
 
I think answering machines are stupid unless they are announce-only.

Caller ID is a much, much better solution.
 

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Posted by Scott Norwood (Member # 30) on 08-30-2003, 07:31 PM:
 
Manny--do you ever leave your house? If so, do you just let the phone ring forever when you're not home?

For home use, I don't see what's wrong with having an answering machine (or telco-provided voicemail) to take messages when one is away from home, as long as the message is short and clear and as long as it contains the name (or at least the phone number) of the person whose answering machine it is--I hate calling machines and not knowing if I should leave a message because it might have been a wrong number. I do think it's terribly rude, however, to use it as a way to pre-screen calls in order to avoid talking to people (though I will admit that I have done this on occasion).
 

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Posted by Manny Knowles (Member # 1171) on 08-30-2003, 07:38 PM:
 
I usually take advantage of the Call Forwarding feature and send all calls to my cellular phone when I leave the house.

That is, unless I don't want to be disturbed...in which case the phone will just ring until the caller hangs up.
 

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Posted by Travis Hubrig (Member # 1745) on 08-30-2003, 08:13 PM:
 
Scott, I don't leave my name on my answering machine, if the caller isn't sure if it is my number, I don't want the message.
 

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Posted by Steven Privett (Member # 718) on 08-30-2003, 11:04 PM:
 
I can't imagine not having an answering machine. I can check it while I'm away. My phone won't check my caller ID.
It's the phone in the bedroom that I can't understand. My phone is a safe distance so it can't wake me.
 

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Posted by Manny Knowles (Member # 1171) on 08-31-2003, 11:47 AM:
 
I can't imagine making booty calls from any of the other rooms. It's gotta be from a bedroom phone.

And I'm truly shocked that nobody has attacked Phil for apostrophe abuse in the subject heading!
 

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Posted by Phil Hill (Member # 371) on 08-31-2003, 03:58 PM:
 
Manny, Ummm... see my post in the "Boss's" thread.

>>> Phil
 

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Posted by Michael Schaffer (Member # 1204) on 08-31-2003, 06:13 PM:
 

quote:

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And I'm truly shocked that nobody has attacked Phil for apostrophe abuse in the subject heading!

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Manny - if we wanted to correct all of Phil`s spelling and grammar mistakes, we would have to open an entirely new forum!
 

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Posted by Thomas Procyk (Member # 1170) on 09-01-2003, 11:10 AM:
 
Answering machine message: "Hello. No one is available to take your call. Or maybe we are and we just don't want to talk to you. I guess you'll never know the truth. Leave a message if you choose."

Guess where MY signature is from
=TMP=
 

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Posted by Scott D. Neff (Member # 185) on 09-09-2003, 12:42 PM:
 
Hmmm -- I guess I just don't pay enough attention and I've simply forgotten that I have that stupid thing down there.

*removes it post haste*

Damned Joe and his peer pressure... although is Joe really anybody's peer?
 

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Posted by Manny Knowles (Member # 1171) on 09-09-2003, 07:10 PM:
 

quote:

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Hmmm -- I guess I just don't pay enough attention and I've simply forgotten that I have that stupid thing down there.

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Is your sex life really that bad, Scott?

(...and he even had it removed...)
 

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Posted by Michael Brown (Member # 890) on 10-11-2003, 11:53 AM:
 
A new signature for a new job. (only found out I got it 50 minutes ago)

I have my induction day tomorrow.
 

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Posted by Gerard S. Cohen (Member # 994) on 10-11-2003, 07:27 PM:
 
"Rots o' ruck!"

Congrats & best wishes!
 

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Posted by Dave Williams (Member # 299) on 10-11-2003, 09:47 PM:
 
I once had an entire beavis and butthead episode as my answering machine message, the one where they are working at the burger joint and mr. anderson has his broken glasses.

You know I NEVER got any messages!

Dave
 

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Posted by John Lasher (Member # 968) on 10-12-2003, 08:03 PM:
 
You can hear my answering machine "message" here(it's an mp3 about 0.5Mb) . If the caller doesn't know about it already, I probably don't want their message.
 

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Posted by William Hooper (Member # 71) on 10-13-2003, 01:06 AM:
 
I wonder how many layers of magnet wire they will wrap around Michael.
 

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Posted by Mike Olpin (Member # 1115) on 10-17-2003, 01:02 PM:
 
My Complete Signature-ology with commentary:

quote:

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I'm that "Wild Fandango" that all of your customers have been complaining about.

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quote:

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Film with a side of trailers, served daily on a silver platter.*
*Rolling Stock will now be served in DLP for our digitarian guests.

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quote:

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Greetings, Forum Readers. Right Now. As you sit in your comfy chair viewing your electronic mail. Perhaps enjoying something from the concession stand? Consider this: The average web junkie posts up to 30 posts per day. Pure, precious, knowledge-sharing, info. It is unfortunate you are unable to comprehend all this text. But that's beside the point. The point is, to keep posting all that info, you're mind must be replenished. So.... Drink your Film-Guard! Brad has bandwidth bills to pay!

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quote:

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Number of times Pixaroligist has seen Finding Nemo: *

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quote:

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True film analysis requires multiple viewings. Heres where I stand:
Nemo - 10 35mm / 3 DLP / 13 total
Pirates - 4 35mm / 1 DLP / 5 total
Matrix 2- 3 35mm / 1 IMAX / 4 total

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These two were removed because to many people were finding out how much spare time I have - and then expecting me to do something more productive.

quote:

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STOP BLOWING HOLES IN MY SHIP!!!

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Seriously! Shes taking on water.
 

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Posted by Phil Hill (Member # 371) on 10-05-2004, 02:16 PM:
 
Dear Diary,

With the current trend of *SOME* Film-Tech members thinking it's "cool" to have obnoxiously long sigs, I just want to point out this very well-known factoid:

Male Film-Tech members with more than 4 lines in their signatures not only waste bandwidth AND everyone's time AND are BORING people in general, they have a *TINY* penis and are pre-op male-to-female transsexuals. This was confirmed on the "Sex R Us" penis-picture website.

NOT to say that a small penis cannot father children, but more importantly, the "thrill" would be missing.

It's obvious they are trying to make up for their lack of endowment by substituting "lack-of-substance" in their life.

Yours in Christ,

>>> Phil
 

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Posted by Dean Kollet (Member # 1789) on 10-05-2004, 02:57 PM:
 
My signature reads:

Zankoku na tenshi no you ni
shounen yo shinwa ni nare

Which is in translation:

Like an angel with no sense of mercy
Rise young boy, to the heavens like a legend

It's from the theme song of an anime called "Neon Genesis Evangelion". Good stuff, check it out if you like Anime
 

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Posted by Paul Mayer (Member # 355) on 10-05-2004, 03:58 PM:
 
Or even if you're not an anime fan, Evangelion (26 TV episodes plus two movies) is one to check out. Quite provoking, on many different levels.

As Mike is a Pixarologist, I am a Ghibliologist. No further explanation should be necessary.
 

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Posted by Phil Hill (Member # 371) on 10-05-2004, 04:16 PM:
 
So, let me understand... even though you both have less than 4 sig lines, you BOTH felt you had to reply since you "think" you do not have "small" cocks...cool!

I think there should be a new thread entitled Film-Tech "Members".

(Where the hell is Manny when ya need him, huh?)

>>> Phil
 

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Posted by Mike Blakesley (Member # 26) on 10-05-2004, 04:25 PM:
 
I'm glad to know that, because I was just about to put up a smartass long-signature, but now that I know what it REALLY means, I will stick with my two-liner.
 

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Posted by Mike Pennell (Member # 1692) on 10-05-2004, 05:02 PM:
 
Phil, with that logic I must be the King Kong of Dongs. I better tell my wife or she wont believe me
 

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Posted by Paul Mayer (Member # 355) on 10-05-2004, 05:03 PM:
 
Gosh Phil, you sure have an unending fascination/fixation about other people's equipment packages. Still, it doesn't matter what I think. But I did wear out two pairs of Tyr tank suits swimming all those laps this summer. Just stretched them all out of shape...
 

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Posted by Phil Hill (Member # 371) on 10-05-2004, 06:12 PM:
 

quote: Paul Mayer

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...you sure have an unending fascination/fixation about other people's equipment packages.

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quote: Paul Mayer

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But I did wear out two pairs of Tyr tank suits swimming all those laps this summer. Just stretched them all out of shape...

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That's cool, Paul! Problem is, it was your fat ASS that "stretched" it WAY out!

>>> Phil
 

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Posted by Paul Mayer (Member # 355) on 10-05-2004, 07:32 PM:
 
Phil! You've been peekin'...
 

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Posted by Greg Davis (Member # 2687) on 10-06-2004, 12:54 AM:
 
They only chore I had to do as a kid was iron the baby.

Why do one backflip, when you can do MANY!

"I've got an abomadable abdomadable. In my belly." - rocky and bullwinkle

"I was really surprised. she worked on it all the time. It took her a week and a half to finish it." - Britney Spears estranged husband commenting on her "life changing" letter. Now viewable at $24.95 a pop.

"Time is an illusion. Lunchtime doubly so." - Douglas McAdams.

"Wait! We can't stop here! This is bat country!" - Hunter S. Thompson

And last but certainly not least.

answering machine message: "Hi. My name is Andrew and I am a Mountain man, capable of living in the forests amongst the animals and trees. Please leave a message and I will return with a smoke signal."

If you havent already checked out my brothers web page its pretty cool, icreation.tk . Pretty good for a 14 year old.
 

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Posted by Richard Greco (Member # 2032) on 10-06-2004, 10:02 PM:
 
Ok, Nate.....hahaha. I started cracking up when I saw your sig. I'm just that lovable around here huh?
 

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Posted by Rich Granata (Member # 2285) on 10-07-2004, 09:16 AM:
 


[ 10-08-2004, 08:50 PM: Message edited by: Rich Granata ]
 

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Posted by Phil Hill (Member # 371) on 10-07-2004, 08:16 PM:
 
Rich, since you seem to be some self-appointed authority on "taste", perhaps you should take your own advice and just "skip" this thread and let the rest of us have some fun here... DUH!

>>> Phil
 

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Posted by Greg Davis (Member # 2687) on 10-08-2004, 01:56 AM:
 

quote: Rich Granata

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...my sig doesn't refer to anyone here BTW. I just thought it was funny. If you dont...just skip it.

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If forums are so "stupid," why bother writing this? Do I care who you are referring to? Or if you thought it was funny? Yes. Yes I do actually.

The trick with signatures is to really step back and look. Do I care what other people think about my wit? Maybe. Also, maybe I want to get a laugh out of myself. Maybe it is some insight into my life, something that yells out "hey, man. This is my heart, right here on my sleeve." Maybe I should do one of those "emo" poems on this! You know, the kind you see on livejournals!

Sickness.... disturbs me... my life is short
Gloom.... niphilism... haunting

what am I doing? Thats it, I'm all done its way too late/early to be typing.
 

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Posted by Nate Lehrke (Member # 1460) on 10-08-2004, 02:08 AM:
 
Richard,

I think that everyone should be forced to change there signature monthly so I have more reading material. (I guess I need a new one)
 

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Posted by Dan Lyons (Member # 1454) on 10-08-2004, 04:08 AM:
 
I like Greg Davis' sig. Too bad he hasn't got a pic.

quote:

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My favorite color is the rainbow, because to choose one would mean to leave all others out. I like strong arms and bicycle spandex.

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Posted by Mike Olpin (Member # 1115) on 10-08-2004, 02:11 PM:
 
Yaeh, Greg! Post a picture. Don't make me come up there! I don't wanna have to make the choice of going through George's Door or going around the long way again....
 

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Posted by Phil Hill (Member # 371) on 10-08-2004, 03:13 PM:
 
Yeah Greg, post a pic! BUT not one of you on the toilet like Nate! OR like Jeremy picking his "brain"... OR like kissing some spider or something!

JFC! WE want to see the *REAL* you!

>>> Phil
 

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Posted by Dan Lyons (Member # 1454) on 10-08-2004, 05:33 PM:
 

quote: Mike Olpin

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I don't wanna have to make the choice of going through George's Door or going around the long way again....

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what?!?! George's backdoor? huh? hahaha

btw, your new sig is kinda funny Mike!
 

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Posted by Nate Lehrke (Member # 1460) on 10-09-2004, 12:39 AM:
 
Way to kill this topic Brad!
 

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Posted by Rachel Gilardi (Member # 1016) on 10-09-2004, 07:41 AM:
 
Since there are no more signatures there is no point in adding anything new to this thread, I don't want it to become a nice "heated" topic like Brad's Signatures are stupid thread.

If he desires to bring back the sig's then I'll reopen this thread...maybe!
 

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