Film-Tech Forum ARCHIVE: Too easy to change a tire.

This is topic Too easy to change a tire. in forum Film-Yak at Film-Tech Forum ARCHIVE.

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Posted by Scott D. Neff (Member # 185) on 01-04-2004, 04:31 PM:

There are those of us that can take apart an engine with a blindfold on and rebuild it all the while juggling 25 casaba melons and playing "Stars and Stripes Forever" on your tuba.

Then there are those of us that know enough to change oil, air filters, MAYBE some plugs and wires.

And then theres me: If I've seen it in a movie, I can do it. Which is really why the only thing I know how to do to my car is change a flat tire and I must say. It's just too easy. It's almost so easy I'm expecting to drive out of my garage and go down to check the air pressure at the local gas station, and not only will the (full sized) spare fly off, the other three tires are going to go with it and decapitate a bus full of school children.

They really need to make it harder, with some sort of video game "Mission Accomplished" bell that rings so I know I did it absolutely 100% correct.

Wish me luck -- I'm gonna go pull out now. And then drive 20 miles to return a keg of beer from my New Years Eve party.

[uhoh]

and well... I suppose... [beer]

Posted by Brad Miller (Member # 2) on 01-04-2004, 04:50 PM:

quote:
If I've seen it in a movie, I can do it.

Wow, you mean I could hand you a laptop and have you shut down alien communications? You can fly? You can singlehandedly take us to Defcon 1, outsmart dinosaurs, and blow up the death star?

I'm not even going to think about what you may have seen in porn films!

Posted by Bobby Henderson (Member # 840) on 01-04-2004, 05:47 PM:

Yeah, I wish I could just rattle gibberish into the keyboard and instantly make the computer do something that in reality took a team of computer effects guys weeks to render.

I laugh at that scene in "Star Trek IV" where Scotty sits in front of a tiny classic Mac to invent transparent aluminum. First he speaks into the mouse, "computer?" The Navy guy says, "you have to use the keyboard." Scotty replies, "oh how quaint." Then he just rattles a bunch of keys and pow it's done. Hmm. What program was loaded on the itty bitty Mac to allow him to do that so fast??? Most desktop PCs and Macs I've seen in military installations only feature word processors, spreadsheet apps and Powerpoint (arrgh! I hate getting those .PPT files for art jobs, they're useless --need vector art only! Opps! Different rant!).

Don't even get me started on the nearly two hours of inaccurate computer use bullshit as seen in the movie "Swordfish."

Posted by Chris Hipp (Member # 1788) on 01-04-2004, 06:00 PM:

Just make sure before you have to change a tire on the side of the road that the jack under the hood is tall enough to lift the car. I had a flat a few months ago and no matter where I put the jack it wouldnt work, so I had to walk 2 miles to work to get some 2x4's and then 2 miles back.

Posted by Tim Reed (Member # 137) on 01-04-2004, 06:02 PM:

quote:
I'm not even going to think about what you may have seen in porn films!

BrWAHAHAHAHAHAAAA! [Big Grin]

Posted by Mike Olpin (Member # 1115) on 01-04-2004, 07:05 PM:

A city bus careens down the street at 72 miles per hour filled with rush hour commuters. The bus driver shrieks franticly over the radio, "Help! Can anyone hear us? Theres a bomb on board and it will explode if we go under 50!"

Then, without warning, the driver-side rear tires blow out! Blam!

WHAT will they do?
WHO will save them?

Suddenly, in his brand new corvette, Super Scott Neff races up along side them!
"I'll save you!" he says courageously as pulls out his giant jack-on-wheels, "I saw this in a movie once!" Carefully he places the jack-on-wheels underneath the bus, hoisting the rims while keeping the bus just a few ticks above 50. Everybody holds there breath as he deftly changes the tire. But does he stop there? No! He pulls Jeff Golblum's alien thwarting PowerBook 5300c. "The bomb is computer controlled! I'll upload a virus into the bomb, rendering it useless."

But then, halfway through the upload, a shadow blocks out the sun. Scott turns around to see a giant tidal wave. The passenger side tires blows out, the needle is squarely on 50, and Scott is smiling.

He knows exactly what to do.

Posted by Phil Hill (Member # 371) on 01-04-2004, 07:21 PM:

I agree, changing a tire is super-easy.

The problem is figuring out how to work those f*cking new-fangled jacks! [fu]

>>> Phil

Posted by Ian Price (Member # 14) on 01-04-2004, 07:47 PM:

Scott was just here.

He brought me a sandwich. [thumbsup]

Posted by Joe Redifer (Member # 3) on 01-04-2004, 09:46 PM:

I agree, changing a tire is just too freakin' easy. You get a flat and change it out, and suddenly you're back on the road in no time! What's up with that? It should be ridiculously difficult. The whole experience should be nightmarish. There is no justice in the world!

Posted by Gordon McLeod (Member # 33) on 01-04-2004, 10:14 PM:

Even easier with a critoen that has the hyrdralics that lift a wheel off the ground for you

Posted by Dave Williams (Member # 299) on 01-04-2004, 10:32 PM:

quote:
I laugh at that scene in "Star Trek IV" where Scotty sits in front of a tiny classic Mac to invent transparent aluminum. First he speaks into the mouse, "computer?" The Navy guy says, "you have to use the keyboard." Scotty replies, "oh how quaint." Then he just rattles a bunch of keys and pow it's done. Hmm. What program was loaded on the itty bitty Mac to allow him to do that so fast??? Most desktop PCs and Macs I've seen in military installations only feature word processors, spreadsheet apps and Powerpoint (arrgh! I hate getting those .PPT files for art jobs, they're useless --need vector art only! Opps! Different rant!).

Don't even get me started on the nearly two hours of inaccurate computer use bullshit as seen in the movie "Swordfish."

Does anyone ever just "watch" movies anymore? Or are we just looking for technical inaccuracies. You also failed to point out that in star trek 4 they were also traveling back in time in a ship from a planet called kronos with an alien on board with funny ears. None of that seemed very accurate to me at all! [evil]

The whole point of science fiction and fantasy is just that... It isn't real, and gives us a chance to just veg out from reality and get entertained with a "what if it were possible" story.

Which goes to show you that changing a tire is easier than it is in the movies. I had a blow out on my tire just three days ago as it started to snow. I had it changed in seven minutes. Of course I have a four ton capacity quick pump oil hydraulic jack that gets the car up in two seconds, and a breaker bar for the lug nuts that removes them in about a minute. The real hard part was getting that damned spare tire loose from its compartment. That took four minutes!

Is there any real point to this at all or are we just yappin for the sake of yappin?

Dave

Posted by Bobby Henderson (Member # 840) on 01-04-2004, 11:09 PM:

quote:
Does anyone ever just "watch" movies anymore? Or are we just looking for technical inaccuracies.

Presenting certain real world things accurately helps suspend disbelief, thus making the story seem more plausible.

I really hate the computer inaccuracies, such as the famous computer keyboard gibberish rule. I deal with computer graphics in my job and none of it is ever instantaneous the way movies make it appear. On occaision I have to deal with computer-illiterate customers who think all it takes is a couple keyboard clicks to spit out a design. There's a lot more to it than that.

The movie industry pays a good amount of money to a wide variety of technical advisors to get things right (military, police, firemen, doctors, lawyers and more). I really wonder if any movie people bother to hire computer experts to get that aspect right.

Posted by Manny Knowles (Member # 1171) on 01-04-2004, 11:31 PM:

About the "inaccuracies" in TREK IV...it seems ridiculous to quibble over those kinds of things when so many of the more fundamental plot points require an even greater degree of suspension of disbelief.

I'm either along for the ride or I'm not. If the movie is working for me, I can ignore or forgive a lot. If it's not working for me then I'm inclined to be more critical and less forgiving. True, on some occasions there were so many "little things" that the scales eventually tipped and the movie stopped working but this is not the case with TREK IV -- arguably the 2nd best film in the series.

Posted by David Favel (Member # 1125) on 01-04-2004, 11:58 PM:

My daughter is about to buy her first car. She will not go anywhere till she has changed a tyre, & other basic stuff. Common sense really.

Posted by Bobby Henderson (Member # 840) on 01-05-2004, 12:19 AM:

Sure, "Star Trek IV" was one of the best installments of that series. Still, the scene I described is pretty loopy. I don't mean for it to sound like I am singling out that movie alone. There's a limitless supply of movies and TV shows that commit the same error to this day (tune into any episode of the popular TV series "24" to see computer inaccuracies like that). Many of the shows are still good, but the misrepresentation of how computers work is still aggravating.

I really don't like dealing with the fallout of it in my own workplace. When a customer expects me to just rattle a few keys to instantly spit out a graphics layout I'm put in a tricky dilema. It's not the easiest thing to tell such customers that graphic design takes time without appearing incompetent. Anyone who relies on computers heavily for their job should rightly feel a bit frustrated when the filmmakers go on cliched auto-pilot when it comes to dealing with computers in the storyline.

Posted by Scott D. Neff (Member # 185) on 01-05-2004, 02:21 AM:

Well I drove on the tire. North to Ian's theatre (snazzy marquee by the way) and then south to the Century Theatres headquarters where I parked my car and went to San Francisco with a friend to watch some comedy.

Apparently I can secure a tire to my car. I'll let you know how it goes when I decide to lower my 2002 Jetta and put flames on the sides and trick out the muffler.

Posted by Manny Knowles (Member # 1171) on 01-05-2004, 02:51 AM:

What I never understood was why the aluminum had to be transparent in the first place...

Posted by Mike Olpin (Member # 1115) on 01-05-2004, 03:03 AM:

quote:
Does anyone ever just "watch" movies anymore? Or are we just looking for technical inaccuracies.

Hell no. Finding inaccuracies is fun. I think I maybe the only one to have noticed this one:

In "Stuck On You" the brothers pull up to a jack in the box drive through and order 2 jumbo jacks, a sourdough jack, 3 fries, and 3 pepsis . The employee reads back the order, pepsis included.

Jack In The box only serves Coca-cola products. [Big Grin]

Posted by Manny Knowles (Member # 1171) on 01-05-2004, 03:08 AM:

Mike, Mike, MIKE...

What are we going to do with you?

You actually noticed that?

You noticed THAT!?

Was the movie that bad? Or do you haunt your local Jack in the Box?

Posted by Mike Olpin (Member # 1115) on 01-05-2004, 11:36 AM:

Actually, the movie really was that boring. Too dramatic for a comedy.

(Topics now covered in this thread: 3)

Posted by Adam Martin (Member # 641) on 01-05-2004, 01:32 PM:

Ian can be bought with food. I mean, jeez, I was there for over an hour before Scott showed up with a sandwich and I don't even get a mention! [Razz]

Hint for future attention whores: chocolate eclair.

Posted by Dave Macaulay (Member # 813) on 01-05-2004, 09:42 PM:

Why do movie computer terminals:
A) present text s-l-o-w-l-y one character at a time, in monochrome green or amber? Some of us might remeber monochrome screens, but I never saw any computer slow enough that the text came out that slow, not even a PET. Teletypes were pretty damned slow, but it's been at least 25 tears since anyone seriously used a teletype as the user interface on a computer.
B) "beep" with every frigging character that gets languidly pooted out on the screen? I remember monochrome, but never in my life have I seen a terminal that beeps like that.

Posted by William Hooper (Member # 71) on 01-06-2004, 12:29 AM:

quote:
My daughter is about to buy her first car. She will not go anywhere till she has changed a tyre, & other basic stuff. Common sense really.

Other basics she must master before she can use the car:
Gluing the rear view mirror back on when it falls off the windshield
Gas siphoning
Cutting donuts
Moonshiner's Turn

Posted by Scott D. Neff (Member # 185) on 01-07-2004, 12:00 PM:

Please explain that "Moonshiners Turn" for those of us who don't know.

Posted by Aaron Sisemore (Member # 145) on 01-07-2004, 12:35 PM:

Scott, ask Norm... He is an expert at performing them [Big Grin]

A 'Moonshiner's Turn' aka 'Trooper Turn' is making a U-turn in a big hurry by locking the rear wheels and having the car swing around to the opposite direction. You see it in movies and 'Dukes Of Hazzard' quite a bit.

-Aaron

Posted by Scott D. Neff (Member # 185) on 01-07-2004, 02:21 PM:

That's what I thought. But I've just never heard of that before... I'd call it the Dukes of Hazzard turn. Just like whenever I get airborn going over hills really fast in San Francisco it is appropriately "getting Streets" (eg. "The Streets of San Francisco")

Posted by Dave Williams (Member # 299) on 01-08-2004, 09:12 AM:

Whether it be computer inaccuracies that make your job harder because people think its real, or it be commercials that tell people they can drive thier SUV like idiots in a snow storm that end up killing others on the freeway in Utah its all the same.

You cannot stop idiots from crossing your path. It isn't just computers that they don't understand. The majority of film patrons actually think that thier movie they are about to see at the movie theater is on video tape. It never stops them from acting like fools and showing up late and asking if we can rewind it for them. They are shocked to learn it is actually film.

When I drive Utah's freeways, I am always shocked to see people driving 70 mph in a snow storm. We had 900 accidents in Utah in the first 24 hours of our strom last week. MOst of them were SUV's.

I understand the Computer deal. I grew up with them. I was raised on them. My dad worked on the Apollo space project back with Lockheed Martin when I was a child. You say computer, I say baby toy! I hate it when people can't get it through thier skulls that it isn't simple at all, and never will be. Someone has to put in the hard work because Majel Barret Roddenberry will not be speaking to you from your computer and make you a cup of Klingon Coffee!

AAAAUGH...

I just let movie slips go. The computer bit was funny from my perspective, because it showed the utter disbelief in the on site engineer when Scotty spoke into the mouse.

As for suspension of disbelief, that is all up to the individual. If you can't leave your work at work, then it will be harder to suspend it all. It's harder for film techies to leave work at work, since most of them see the movies at work as it is.

As for me, I just let my mind go (easy for me, most of it is gone anyway) and watch the danged film. If it is good, I let things slide, If it is bad, then it is just bad. If I didn't like it, then who cares what I point out in it, it was bad, plain and simple.

Often some technical slips are not slips at all, but are that way for some reason or another, intended or planned. Let's see any of us make a movie and see if it can stand up to perfection.

Dave