quote:

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Women repair manual

MEN ARE ALWAYS complaining that they do not understand women.
The big things for men are women, cars and football but not necessarily in that order

Well, they need despair no longer thanks to a new guide which will tell them everything they need to know about what makes women tick.

The tongue-in-cheek manual comes from Haynes, the publisher better known for its car maintenance guides.

Its Practical Guide To Women's Health For Men looks at women in a way men will understand - using motoring jargon to take them under the female bonnet.

There are diagrams, fault-finding charts and technical drawings explaining such subjects as breast cancer, the menopause and PMT.

Author Dr Ian Banks said the book - a follow-up to a similar guide for women about men - had a serious message.

He added: 'It is not patronising about women. We are trying to get men to look more seriously at women's health.

'The big things for men are women, cars and football but not necessarily in that order.

'They know an awful lot about cars and football but not a great deal about women.'

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there's also an interesting snippet about mango groping !!
 

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Posted by Steve Kraus (Member # 476) on 09-28-2004, 10:51 AM:
 
Men will only buy it if they figure it will aid them in meeting their Prime Directive via fake sincerity. I'm sure I need not explain what the prime directive is for many/most guys.
 

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Posted by Adam Wilbert (Member # 1184) on 09-28-2004, 02:59 PM:
 
Of course we do, steve.

quote: Prime Directive

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As the right of each sentient species to live in accordance with its normal cultural evolution is considered sacred, no Star Fleet personnel may interfere with the healthy development of alien life and culture. Such interference includes the introduction of superior knowledge, strength, or technology to a world whose society is incapable of handling such advantages wisely. Star Fleet personnel may not violate this Prime Directive, even to save their lives and/or their ship unless they are acting to right an earlier violation or an accidental contamination of said culture. This directive takes precedence over any and all other considerations, and carries with it the highest moral
obligation.

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Posted by Ron Yost (Member # 1850) on 09-28-2004, 04:43 PM:
 
I'm guessing our current leaders weren't big Star Trek fans.

Ron Yost
 

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Posted by David Favel (Member # 1125) on 09-28-2004, 07:07 PM:
 
Now I am surprised that one slipped thru.

Live long & prosper.
 

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Posted by William Hooper (Member # 71) on 09-29-2004, 12:23 AM:
 

quote:

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The tongue-in-cheek manual comes from Haynes, the publisher better known for its car maintenance guides.

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Then it probably has a lubrication chart, & a diagram with lifting points & a picture of the proper way to attach a hoist & analyze emissions.
 

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Posted by Randy Stankey (Member # 64) on 09-29-2004, 12:39 AM:
 
Are these manuals based on a "Complete tear-down and rebuild" like the original Haynes manuals are?

I'd like to know how that was accomplished.

Did she run like she used to before she was rebuilt?
 

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Posted by Brent Neal Jones (Member # 1048) on 09-29-2004, 03:07 AM:
 
You know thought I had a pretty good idea for a post, but the last few just seemed to cover it.

Warp speed, and don't drive like my brother!
 

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Posted by William Hooper (Member # 71) on 09-30-2004, 01:14 AM:
 
You leave all this room for Will Kutler or Steve Kraus to make some mention of checking & adjusting the headlights, & nothing happens.
 

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Posted by Tommie Evans (Member # 2674) on 09-30-2004, 07:40 AM:
 
Why do they name hurricanes after women...

Cos they come in wet and wild, and leave with your house and garage.
 

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Posted by Steve Scott (Member # 630) on 10-02-2004, 03:42 PM:
 

quote:

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Well, they need despair no longer thanks to a new guide which will tell them everything they need to know about what makes women tick.

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My girlfriend has had some knock and ping for quite awhile...
 

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Posted by Steve Kraus (Member # 476) on 10-02-2004, 04:09 PM:
 
No thanks; I'll leave the headlight jokes to others.

I actually thought someone was going to point out that my taking my fellow males to task for false sincerity was nothing more than a very shrewd example of that very same thing. But no one caught that; too wrapped up in the Star Trek analogy I guess. Sometimes I'm just too obtuse.
 

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Posted by Jason Black (Member # 684) on 10-03-2004, 09:26 PM:
 
Ha... you don't fix them at all.. you simply trade them in on a model with less milage..

Takes a lot of 'tire-kicking' but eventually you find up with a model that meets your needs..
 

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Posted by Joe Redifer (Member # 3) on 10-04-2004, 12:08 AM:
 
Jason, your post reminds me of one of Dwayne's great arguments FOR premarital sex. Is Dwayne still alive, BTW?
 

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Posted by Jason Black (Member # 684) on 10-04-2004, 09:39 AM:
 
Joe,

Premarital sex is great... it's the PostMarital sex that blows..

Something about wedding cake quickly diminishes a womans desire to have sex.. mulitple times.. daily... anywhere.. LOL..
 

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Posted by Steve Scott (Member # 630) on 10-04-2004, 10:38 AM:
 
A little spanish fly in the cake doesn't hurt...
 

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Posted by Dominic Espinosa (Member # 2122) on 10-04-2004, 03:26 PM:
 
Your primary concern should be deposits.
Too much in one place can cause performance issues and impair handling.
Another point of concern is high mileage without proper care and maintenance, you'll likely find high ammounts of deposits and worn/loose parts.
Best bet is to get a new model and break it in yourself, being careful not to take it out too fast or you'll cause more harm than good. Once it's broken in you can tweak it to your liking.
I'll quit while I'm ahead...
 

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Posted by Gracia L. Babbidge (Member # 582) on 10-07-2004, 09:32 AM:
 
Hmm... Never underestimate the utility of the tongue!

+ + + =
 

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Posted by Steve Kraus (Member # 476) on 10-07-2004, 11:07 AM:
 
No one's underestimating. But how does one move up from journeyman to master? One (casual) friend described an experience she had years ago...never before or since as good...that practically sent her off among the planets. I think that would be a useful skill to have! Think about that the next time you hear Ralph Kramden threaten to send Alice to the moon!
 

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