Film-Tech Forum ARCHIVE: Do you enjoy Star Wars 3 SPOILERS?

This is topic Do you enjoy Star Wars 3 SPOILERS? in forum Film-Yak at Film-Tech Forum ARCHIVE.

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Posted by Joe Redifer (Member # 3) on 02-24-2005, 07:45 PM:

Everyone loves spoilers. Click below to see a mega-detailed overview of the entire Star Wars Episode III movie from beginning to end, complete with pictures, animated GIFs, and descriptions.

Click here!

Don't say I didn't warn you about the spoilers! OMG!

Posted by Tim Reed (Member # 137) on 02-24-2005, 09:13 PM:

My God, digital is beautiful!

Posted by Ben Holley (Member # 2247) on 02-24-2005, 09:36 PM:

quick question, I havent seen the second star wars and havent seen the first all the way through, will I have any problem with the story line in the third? is there a site that can give me a quick overview of what happend in the first 2.

Posted by Joe Redifer (Member # 3) on 02-25-2005, 12:14 AM:

I will give you an overview right here:

Star Wars Episode 1:
Anakin is a little boy who is a slave and has no acting skills. He is similar to the little pissant who was in Jingle all da Way. Jedis come and sense "The Force" within him (turns out The Force is just bad gas). The Force is explained scientifically, draining all mysticism out of it. Liam Neeson dies as does his killer. Anakin and Natalie Portman fall in love and Natalie molests Anakin. Anakin creates C3PO.

Star Wars Episode II:
Anakin is now a 20-something man who has a very effeminite look about him, like a New Kid or a Backdoor Boy. Meanwhile Natalie Portman has not aged a day. Anakin says that he hates sand and that Natalie's skin is better than sand. This makes Natalie fall in love with Anakin. Anakin is legal now so this time no charges were filed. Meanwhile C3PO provides (not so) comical relief, as everything he utters is *supposed* to be funny. Stormtroopers are created from the DNA of some dude with a funny little accent (people with accents of any kind are inexcusable and should be executed). Basically, each Stormtrooper is Boba Fett. Obi Wan has finally grown a beard, and he and Anakin get in a fight with Count Doookooo. The Count (no releation to Dracula) wins the fight because both Anakin and OB-GYN are too busy laughing their asses off at the extremely silly name "Doookooo". They called him "Count Doodoo" and things like that. Anakin gets his arm chopped off. On some prints it was his left arm. On other prints it was his right arm. Anakin and Natalie Portman get married at a Jewish ceremony (she was born in Isreal after all) and they eat some pickles.

Posted by Mike Heenan (Member # 392) on 02-25-2005, 12:16 AM:

[sleep]

Posted by Jeremy Fuentes (Member # 2135) on 02-25-2005, 06:15 AM:

Joe, was that the extended DVD version that you saw??