Film-Tech Forum ARCHIVE: The Friend Zone Test

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Posted by Jennifer Pan (Member # 2035) on 04-09-2005, 11:28 PM:

For those who have nothing better to do...

The Friend Zone Test
By: Azrael
If there's one question that guys ask me more than anything else, it's "Am I in the Friend Zone with this girl?" Seriously. I hear it so much the words no longer have any meaning for me. So, I have decided to save myself the time, and a couple thousand dollars in aspirin, and devise this simple yet revolutionary Friend Zone Test. Take it, and calculate your scores at the end. It will tell you if you still have a chance with the girl you're lusting after, of if she already considers you "a really good friend." Bleh.

So sit down and takes notes because there will be a test later. ....Oh wait, this is the test. Ok, whatever then.

The Friend Zone Test

All answers are multiple choice. Pick one and only one answer, that best corresponds to your situation with the girl of your choice.

1. How often does she talk about other guys she might be interested in with you?
a. Never
b. Rarely
c. Sometimes
d. All the time

2. Does she often talk about her shortcomings/personal problems with you?
a. Never
b. Rarely
c. Occasionally
d. All you ever hear about

3. If you call her up, and find that she's had a bad day, do you...
a. Find a way to end the conversation quickly, and call back when she's in a better mood
b. Try to make her feel better over the phone
c. Offer to come to her place with a pint of ice cream and her favorite movie

4. How often do you talk about your personal issues with her?
a. Never
b. Rarely
c. Sometimes
d. All the time

5. How often do you see her?
a. Once a week
b. Every few days
c. Every other day
d. Usually every day

6. When she's fishing for compliments, do you...
a. Leave her hanging!
b. Give her one now and then
c. Give them to her, always

7. When was the last time you told her how smart/pretty/funny/great/etc she is?
a. Never
b. Maybe once or twice, not that often
c. Last time you talked to her

8. How physical are you with her?
a. As much as humanly possible
b. A hug here and there, maybe an arm around the shoulder
c. Not that much, you respect her personal space

9. Have you ever offered to do her a favor, that would inconvience you but really benefit her?
a. Are you kidding? Pfft, rarely, if ever!
b. Sometimes
c. All the time

10. As far as relationships go, you've told her that...
a. Not looking for a relationship at all; you haven't found anyone worth dating yet
b. Don't really care; whatever happens, happens
c. You're ready and looking for something serious; you'd be willing to give any girl a chance

Bonus Question: Has she ever told you that she's looking for a guy just like you, or that you'll make some girl a great boyfriend one day?

Test Results - Give yourself 2 points for every time you answered a; 4 points for every b; 8 points for c; 12 points for d; and an extra 15 points if you answered yes to the bonus.

100-75 - Yes indeedy, you are smack dab in the middle of the Friend Zone with this girl. You own The Zone. You're mayor of The Zone. You have no chance of getting together with her. Move on. Quickly.

75-51 - You're in The Zone. You don't own it as much...but you're still there. Sorry. The sooner you find another girl, the better for you.

50-36 - There's hope for you yet. You're not quite there, but you can be if you do nothing. Don't let the friendship go any further until you make your intentions clear to her. The Zone is avoidable, so long as you play your cards right.

35 and below - You are in a great position! Keep up what you're doing, and before long you can have this girl chasing after you! Just don't string her along for too long, or she'll lose interest.

Posted by Chris Brown (Member # 2800) on 04-10-2005, 02:17 AM:

Thanks Jen! That was strangely very accurate. [Eek!]

Posted by Jennifer Pan (Member # 2035) on 04-10-2005, 02:19 AM:

Well, how did you score?

Posted by Edwin Schwing (Member # 1270) on 04-10-2005, 02:31 AM:

what does 103 mean?

Posted by Jennifer Pan (Member # 2035) on 04-10-2005, 02:43 AM:

You don't even deserve to be her friend, she thinks your a psycho and you need lots of help.

Posted by Edwin Schwing (Member # 1270) on 04-10-2005, 02:49 AM:

is there a fag hag test???

Posted by Jennifer Pan (Member # 2035) on 04-10-2005, 03:01 AM:

I don't know, you should find one so I can take it.

Posted by Edwin Schwing (Member # 1270) on 04-10-2005, 05:14 AM:

see above posted test...

Posted by Brad Miller (Member # 2) on 04-10-2005, 05:18 AM:

Ok here it goes.

1. D
2. D
3. D
4. D
5. D
6. D
7. D
8. D
9. D
10. D

How'd I do with the Letterman cheat sheet? [Big Grin]

Posted by Edwin Schwing (Member # 1270) on 04-10-2005, 05:32 AM:

Brad got a 120!

did you get the extra 15 points Brad?

E

P.S. You can't answer D to every question Brad...
Just ask Phil!

Posted by Bobby Henderson (Member # 840) on 04-10-2005, 12:16 PM:

The friend zone test currently does not apply to me. I'm not currently chasing after any ladies that have put me in the friend zone. Usually when they try to do that I lose interest in them very quickly. I have two close female friends that I have known for years. One is married and the other is seriously involved. I don't have to worry about various friend zone abuses from either of them.

There is a variety of friend zone abuses. The most obvious is where a lady has a fellow performing all sorts of boyfriend style duties, including spending a good amount of money on entertainment, but with no intentions of him becoming a real boyfriend. I ditch such ladies very quickly. It's far better to be alone than be a fool.

Since there is no perfect man, some ladies will take a salad bar approach to make a composite of that perfect guy by using two, three or more guys for various duties. One guy is just there for the sex (do the job then get the hell out -lucky bastard). Others can be called to do favors, chores, etc. Then there's the unfortunate soul she'll call for "intellectual stimulation." He'll have to listen to her yammer on the phone about other guys she likes and crap like that. She'll use him for conversation at night clubs too, and effectively cock-block him from meeting other ladies while flitting around to find a guy she actually finds attractive.

Men and women can be friends with each other. But I always follow a number of rules when doing it. Really, the best thing for guys to do is hang out with other guy friends. Watch some sports, drink some beer, fart, play video games. Screw those shopping trips!

Posted by Tim Reed (Member # 137) on 04-10-2005, 12:50 PM:

quote: Jennifer Pan
How often does she talk about other guys she might be interested in with you?

What, like for a threesome or something?

quote: Jennifer Pan
Does she often talk about her shortcomings/personal problems with you?

We ARE talking about women, aren't we?

quote: Jennifer Pan
If you call her up, and find that she's had a bad day, do you...

Disguise your voice and say, "Ees Dave dere?"

quote: Jennifer Pan
When she's fishing for compliments, do you...

Say, "Hurry up, the Yankees are on!"

quote: Jennifer Pan
When was the last time you told her how smart/pretty/funny/great/etc she is?

I try not to lie. Women appreciate honesty.

quote: Jennifer Pan
How physical are you with her?

Before or after the arrest?

quote: Jennifer Pan
Have you ever offered to do her a favor, that would inconvience you but really benefit her?

I show up.

quote: Jennifer Pan
As far as relationships go, you've told her that...

You're very lucky, I'm available.

Posted by Chris Brown (Member # 2800) on 04-10-2005, 02:20 PM:

I scored 62...definitely in the zone! [Mad]

Posted by Jennifer Pan (Member # 2035) on 04-10-2005, 03:24 PM:

Tim you so funny! [thumbsup]

Bobby, thanks for giving us the real reason why you're not taken yet. Single you shall be. I wouldn't put up with that BS either.

Posted by Kyle McEachern (Member # 2250) on 04-10-2005, 04:52 PM:

I make no statement about whether this is an accurate depiction of the world, but thought it'd make an interesting read for some of y'all, I personally found it pretty entertaining in a satirical way.

And so, without further ado, I present to you... Ladder Theory!

Posted by Jennifer Pan (Member # 2035) on 04-10-2005, 05:02 PM:

I love this quote from the website Kyle posted:

quote:
Exes
Exes are not a special case in the ladder. Usually when someone gets broken up with it's because the other person thinks they can do better on the Ladder. Or already has. If you didn't think you could do better why would you leave the one you were with?

The usual pattern for exes is to try to be friends, realize it's not going to really work, and then become more and more distant toward each other over time. In any case, if you continue to fuck for a while, then you continue to fuck. You wouldn't have had a relationship with them if they were not on the real ladder, so if it's convienient there's really no reason not to.

If you are friends, then the normal rules of how men and women can be friends applies. But it should be said, that many exes try to be friends because it seems like some shit they should do, when in reality one of them is hoping they will get back together or at least continue to fuck.

Posted by Phil Hill (Member # 371) on 04-10-2005, 09:06 PM:

Here ya go Edwin, a Fag Hag test.

Posted by John McConnel (Member # 2000) on 04-10-2005, 10:21 PM:

What does it mean if you scored 74% on the Fag Hag test? That you're about a C- or D grade hag?

Posted by William T. Parr (Member # 677) on 04-11-2005, 03:23 PM:

Just remember, if she thinks of you as her platonic friend. According to Chris Rock you are who she'll be boinking when he messes up. Chris Rock's Definition of Platonic Friend: Is like a Dick in glass case. In Case of Emergency, Break Open Glass! [Wink]

I scored a 72, but thats cool I forgot about her long time ago.

Posted by Bobby Henderson (Member # 840) on 04-11-2005, 03:36 PM:

I've seen that Chris Rock routine, "you know who he is, he visits your house, he eats your food and he shall betray you!"

Well, knowing a good number of females in any number of manners (close friends, friend zone friends, f**kbuddies, girlfriends, etc.), I don't think it really works out that way. Most women I've known who have cheated on their boyfriends usually did it with men completely outside their peer group. She sees some studly young guy at the night club who's not the sharpest knife in the drawer and just discretely uses him as a throw-away boy toy. At least that's what happens when they want to maintain their current relationship.

Also, if the lady is going to dump her boyfriend or husband for some new guy that really gets her passion burning, odds are very strong he will not be one of those friend zone guys. The friend zone is that odd thing where the lady likes you, but wouldn't have sex with you even if you were the last man on earth. You might as well be her brother or some shit like that. Hell, in some parts of Oklahoma, her brother would stand a better chance!
[uhoh]

The only way that sex does happen between a woman and a guy in her friend zone is during some major moment of weakness. She might be totally drunk and didn't meet anyone that evening. She may be hurting over a lost relationship (and also be sad, drunk, etc.). If she's sober, not depressed, stable, etc., you ain't gettin' any. Even during those moments of weakness, a guy with any sense at all shouldn't take advantage of the situation. It's a terrible compromise. Sex is a lot better when you're with a woman who honestly desires you.

Posted by Gracia L. Babbidge (Member # 582) on 04-12-2005, 08:31 AM:

Whee! I scored an 89% on the fag hag test! [Smile]