Film-Tech Forum ARCHIVE: Man commits suicide after learning Harry Potter spoiler

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Posted by Joe Redifer (Member # 3) on 07-18-2005, 02:41 AM:

quote:
Jude Ralston, 32, of Hudson, Ohio left a suicide note indicating that since overhearing the plot spoiler at a shopping mall earlier in the day, “I no longer have a reason to live.”

Family and friends who gathered for a candlelight memorial outside Mr. Ralston’s house remembered a man who seemed to live only for Harry Potter – and wondered if they could have done anything to prevent his tragic fate

Source:

Now if we could only get all of the other Harry Potter fans to commit suicide, we'd be making some definite progress to a better world!

Posted by Dick Vaughan (Member # 540) on 07-18-2005, 03:08 AM:

I love the bit where Ms Clovis wants FEDERAL AUTHORITIES to prevent Harry Potter spoilers leaking out to prevent suicides.

This sort of thing must rank pretty highly on the FBI's 20 things I must do by Friday list:rolleyes:

Posted by Brad Miller (Member # 2) on 07-18-2005, 05:30 AM:

Of course the article is a fake though. [Wink]

Posted by Wolff King Morrow (Member # 2226) on 07-18-2005, 05:52 AM:

It sounded pretty fake when I read it.

Posted by Dick Vaughan (Member # 540) on 07-18-2005, 08:07 AM:

A fake! Oh NO!! [Eek!]

Has the world come to this that even Mr Redifer, the trusted oracle, posts untruths upon this hallowed board [scream]

Posted by Jim Ziegler (Member # 86) on 07-18-2005, 04:51 PM:

Did that come from the Onion?

If it were true it would be natural selection at work.. Nature has preserved the species by preventing the stupid from reproducing.

Posted by Joe Redifer (Member # 3) on 07-18-2005, 05:24 PM:

I think the last paragraph of the article, which has nothing to do with it at all, sums up if it is fake or not.

Posted by Joshua Waaland (Member # 287) on 07-18-2005, 06:01 PM:

Definitely fake. Hudson is the next suburb over from here and I am sure I would have heard about something like that. It's where all the rich people live and a few of the Cleveland Indians and Browns players.

Posted by Richard Greco (Member # 2032) on 07-18-2005, 11:24 PM:

snopes.comlists it as fake

Posted by Joe Redifer (Member # 3) on 07-19-2005, 12:13 AM:

Yes, because without that, there is NO EVIDENCE that it is fake. [Roll Eyes]

Posted by Mike Blakesley (Member # 26) on 07-19-2005, 02:37 AM:

Actually you can tell it's a fake in the third paragraph. No family would ever hold a candlelight memorial for such a dweeb. And he wouldn't have had any friends.

Posted by Daryl C. W. O'Shea (Member # 1303) on 07-19-2005, 03:43 AM:

Wouldn't he have killed himself in a few days anyway?

Posted by Brian Michael Weidemann (Member # 2243) on 07-19-2005, 03:50 AM:

The penultimate paragraph states: "'In my heart I believe that could have saved Jude's life, even if he didn't have one' she said." That's a total Onion-esque jab, and in no way something a companion would say and then be quoted on in these circumstances.

I've officially thought too much about this.

Here's a Harry Potter spoiler ... the story ends on the last page, and there's going to be another book!

Posted by Phil Hill (Member # 371) on 07-19-2005, 04:21 AM:

quote: Daryl C. W. O'Shea
Wouldn't he have killed himself in a few days anyway?

I would hope so... get that sorry fuck and those other low-life
POS outta the gene pool. [beer]

BTW: Borowitz has a GREAT website...his humor is hilarious!

Posted by Tim Reed (Member # 137) on 07-21-2005, 09:45 AM:

Humm, the title of this thread tipped me off. [Roll Eyes]

Posted by Dominic Espinosa (Member # 2122) on 07-21-2005, 02:25 PM:

quote: Jim Ziegler
If it were true it would be natural selection at work.. Nature has preserved the species by preventing the stupid from reproducing.

Nature's getting lazy cause there's a lot of stupid people reproducing these days...

I should think he'd jump off a tall building by the end of the 6th book period.

***Bit of a spoiler***
J.K. Rowling is obsessed with killing people now.
***End spoiler***

Posted by Andy Summers (Member # 3207) on 07-21-2005, 03:22 PM:

“Harry Ploter” spoiler Harry moves towards the bed to kiss her, the air freezes around him as her eyes open, “well are you going to shag me or not!!!!

Oh no good bye crawl world BANG!!!!!

Posted by David Stambaugh (Member # 1102) on 07-21-2005, 03:32 PM:

Who's Harry Potter? [Confused]

Posted by Andy Summers (Member # 3207) on 07-21-2005, 04:06 PM:

Who is “Harry Ploter” a fictional character that’s who and there is a Plot for more "Harry Ploter" suicides, I think she’s a man hater….

Don’t read “Harry Ploter” if you what to survive the day….

Posted by Bob Maar (Member # 763) on 07-22-2005, 12:03 PM:

I think that before you commit suicide you taste a "Martini" first. It will ease the pain.

Posted by Paul Mayer (Member # 355) on 07-22-2005, 12:22 PM:

Hmmm. Suicide by Martini. Now there's an idea worth exploring...

Suicide is painless
It brings on many changes...