Film-Tech Forum ARCHIVE: Are all divorces this friendly?

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Posted by Richard Hamilton (Member # 321) on 07-11-2007, 10:47 AM:

This was in the local newspaper last month. I never got a call from the reporter, yet they printed a story about me. Very one-sided.

Posted by Mike Blakesley (Member # 26) on 07-11-2007, 11:28 AM:

She probably saw the pictures of your Chinese girlfriend on Film-Tech and got mad. [Big Grin]

Posted by Leo Enticknap (Member # 534) on 07-11-2007, 05:53 PM:

I've also had the not very pleasant experience of being mentioned in the press without the reporter even bothering to contact me, let alone having the courtesy to let me know that the story was being published - story here (see about two thirds of the way down).

Very cleverly, they just stopped short of printing something I could clearly, and without any argument, do them for. They got the reference from an interview with me that was quoted in a much longer article in another publication (can't post a link, as you need a subscription to read archived articles on their site) about standards of literacy among British university students. The Daily Mail boiled it down to two lines, completely out of context. The bit about my having 'left in fury' is complete and utter fiction - I left because I applied for and got a job in a better university! And as for the fury part, there is one individual in my former workplace who I wasn't sorry to see the back of (I'm sure the feeling is mutual), but many others who I'm on very good terms with and still meet socially. The first I knew about this Daily Mail article was when one of my students asked me about it (it isn't a paper I read normally).

The bottom line is that the journalists aren't going to waste their time actually speaking to the subject of a story unless they absolutely have to, either to get information they don't have or to cover their asses. If it's in the public domain elsewhere - even if in a totally different context - that's good enough for them.

Posted by Mark Gulbrandsen (Member # 72) on 07-11-2007, 07:17 PM:

quote:
drive an Escalade

I never thought you were that vain..... I wouldn't be caught dead in one of those.... they're strictly pimp'n vehicles. Land Rover all the way!

Seriously... we have a part time employee that is in a similar siuation as Richard's and he barely takes any money home... most of his paycheck goes to someplace back East towards the over 40,000 in back support he owes. His present wife is the bread winner... but this guy never gives up and is at work every day.

See Richard... instantly you are not in that bad of shape any longer! There IS someone... actually MANY that are far worse off. I also believe there are two sides to the story and one of those sides was definately not represented in that article. But I do hope things work out for both you and your kids...hang in there!

Mark

Posted by Mike Heenan (Member # 392) on 07-11-2007, 08:11 PM:

$40,000 in child support Mark? Yikes. The guy I work with is divorced and his projection job is his only job at the moment (he used to do dj'ing at a club for extra cash but that's off for now) and I think he has to pay like $300 a month or something like that, and to top it off he has 4 kids. After paying his rent, support etc, I dont think he has much left for his own, but he's a great dad to his kids and busts his ass. And the worst thing is that I think his wife cheated on him. Feel bad for the guy, makes me think twice about my future...

Posted by Joe Redifer (Member # 3) on 07-11-2007, 08:13 PM:

So, what's YOUR side of the story, Richard? You don't seem to be disputing any of it, you just state that they never contacted you.

Lesson to be learned: Don't have kids!

Posted by Mike Heenan (Member # 392) on 07-11-2007, 08:39 PM:

Damn right... or at least get some sort of prenup like the celebrities do.

Posted by Kara J. McVay (Member # 1285) on 07-11-2007, 08:52 PM:

Crazy ex's are an awful thing. Not until I met my boyfriends ex did I ever understand how anyone could kill another [Embarrassed]

She has managed to turn his children on him to the point that they wish him dead and want nothing to do with him. Worst thing someone can do to a child is put them in the middle of these adult situations.

I do hope you work this out for the children's sake

Posted by Mark Gulbrandsen (Member # 72) on 07-11-2007, 09:30 PM:

quote: Mike Heenan
$40,000 in child support Mark? Yikes.

Yea, am amazed they haven't shown up to lock him up but his check gets docked every pay period so he IS paying it and that first batch of kids are nearly 18 years old now so he won't be responsable for them but he still owes the $$. He works two part time jobs to help as much as possible... and this guy is also a great dad to his two kids... third on the way. Income level doesn't mean hill or beans to Mormons... they just keep popping out kids no matter what happens.

On another note I have been thorugh a divorce but no kids involved. I wanted out and pretty much just packed up and left for desert country... but as a gentleman who wanted out would do I left the house to her so as not to leave her high and dry. While we were married(18 years) we collected clocks... over 100 in that time(pun intended!) She collected her clocks and I collected mine which were mainly electromechanical master clocks and self winding clocks. We agreed with both attorneys to split them up as his and her clocks and I was able to move some of them on my first moving trip out here(Thank God!) When the divorce was in progress and before it was all settled she sold off some of the clocks that belonged to me that were still in the house... although she was told not to sell anything by both attorneys.... her selling off those clocks before the divorce settlment cost her a bundle in court. I was still awarded the then value of those antiques by the judge and she had to pay me the value of them when she sold them... which was more than what we paid for them. If I still had all the clocks today that I'd collected over the years I'd be able to sell the collection and not have to work.
She could have done pretty much the same thing.... we both lost because of her!

Mark

Posted by Jason Black (Member # 684) on 07-11-2007, 10:34 PM:

I'm left to wonder why you'd air this dirty laundry on a public forum?

I'd be pissed, don't get me wrong...

Posted by Pravin Ratnam (Member # 1417) on 07-12-2007, 12:32 AM:

Richad, so this story refers to you? I thought you put it up as a joke regarding another guy who shares your name.

BUt it does look like your attorney was contacted. Why didn't he tell them to contact you if you wanted to give your side of the story personally? $150/week in child support for 2 kids is not that much, to be quite frank.

Posted by Dave Williams (Member # 299) on 07-12-2007, 07:41 AM:

150 wk is 600 month... most people can't pay for life and have six hundred dollars lying around. I pay that much as well, and it takes me and my current wife to barely make ends meet.

I have always believed that the person with custody better have the means to pay for the kids on their own or be willing to give them up to someone that does, not drain your ex until they are homeless so that you can get an xbox and a new car.

the state of Utah actually THREW OUT both of my exes child support claims. The first one threw it out when they discovered that she had left the state SIX YEARS EARLIER without notifying them, and making NO arrangments for them to come visit me. After a year of no payment, she changed her tune quickly.

The other one just was getting mean and vindictive, threatening to take away my paternal rights because I was seven minutes late to the day care ONCE due to a major wreck on I15. Didn't matter to her, but the judge had enough of all the threats.

I pay my child support now even though there is no longer any order to do so. I of course held off until I got what I wanted and they know I can kill it at any time.

I got lucky, but I wouldn't want to get lucky this way again. Too much pain involved.

I feel for you, I really do. So many women get a guy, get a baby, then get packing and rape them financially for the rest of their lives.

PRENUP... don't get hitched without one. Prevents this kind of crap.

Ciao

Posted by Mark Gulbrandsen (Member # 72) on 07-12-2007, 08:37 AM:

quote: Dave Williams
the state of Utah actually THREW OUT both of my exes child support claims.

Dave,

It doesn't surprise me a bit that they threw it out... after all in the "LDS Church Run" state of Utah the man of the house still carries more importance and meaning than the lowly woman does... I'm glad that you are paying though... after all YOU are the father. Were you in any other state you'd probably have been put in jail.

Mark

Posted by Marc Hansen (Member # 705) on 07-12-2007, 09:14 AM:

Prenup's are wonderfull things. Saved my butt! When we got married I had house, business, realestate, etc. etc. She had one car. She got sued for a traffic accident and when the other side saw the prenup and relized she didn't have anything they cut thier losses and dropped thier case. You can put anything in a prenup, we have custody, child support etc. in ours.
Marc

Posted by Pravin Ratnam (Member # 1417) on 07-12-2007, 12:26 PM:

600 a month isnt outrageous even for middle class for two kids. That is 7200 a year. Assuming the father doesn't need a big house to house the kids or pay for the food, that is very reasonable. Dont forget the 7200 is tax deductible which means you really are shelling out only very roughly 5000 extra for an entire year for TWO KIDS.

If you can't save 5000/ year, do not have kids.

Posted by Phil Hill (Member # 371) on 07-13-2007, 12:49 AM:

My official comment is "No Comment" HA! [Roll Eyes]

Posted by Richard Hamilton (Member # 321) on 07-13-2007, 01:45 PM:

O.K., here goes.... 2 weeks after I seperated with my wife, she packed up our truck with everything she could fit, took the kids and moved 1500 miles away. I ended up leaving Omaha and going back to Indiana. It was my responsabality to move a whole housefull of furniture and stuff from nebraska to Florida. I haven't been able to see my kids since March '06.

As far as the money, I paid very little the first year. What the newspaper didn't say was that I pay $150 a week AND $250 a week adds on to my arrearages. I was ordered to pay almost $400 a week. The reason it is $150 now is because I am working for a temp service and only take home about $200 a week. Don't get me wrong, I'll give my kids anything I can.

Before I got married, I had a Porsche and a BMW sitting in the driveway of a house I owned.......now my only asset is this laptop that I'm writing on, and it's a POS.

Sorry, just venting..Rick

Phil, just got your "no comment" remark [Wink]

Posted by Mike Blakesley (Member # 26) on 07-13-2007, 03:29 PM:

quote: Richard Hamilton
she packed up our truck with everything she could fit, took the kids and moved 1500 miles away.

I wouldn't think the courts would allow her to do that, unless you were abusive or some other thing that would justify it.

I'm no legal expert here, but I do watch Judge Judy from time to time. [Wink]

Posted by Phil Hill (Member # 371) on 07-13-2007, 05:59 PM:

quote: Richard Hamilton
Phil, just got your "no comment" remark

Yeah, as you know, we both have been thru some of the same stuff.

Mike: The "ex" can pretty much do what they want. Even if you go "after" them to enforce your rights, the local court must have a reciprocal enforcement agreement with the other state. Not always true.

My ex took my kids and hid from me for years. I voluntary kept paying the court-ordered child support and alimony into an escrow account. She didn't know that.

She took me to court and claimed I was a deadbeat dad and I owed her thousands upon thousands of $$$...she said I didn't pay. I proved to the judge what was really going on.

He found in my favor and released my $$$ back to me and threaten to put her in jail.

That's what paid for my 1st Corvette! [beer]

Of course after that, they garnished my salary and I paid until my kids were outta college. It was worth it.

Posted by Mark Gulbrandsen (Member # 72) on 07-13-2007, 07:09 PM:

quote: Richard Hamilton
she packed up our truck with everything she could fit, took the kids and moved 1500 miles away.

What you really mean is that she took the Escalade [Eek!]

Posted by Kara J. McVay (Member # 1285) on 07-13-2007, 08:34 PM:

Taking the kids and running is exactly what happened here too. Scott won sole custody with her having NO visitaion, but she moved to TX and they would not recognize the out of state order. Bullshit if you ask me, now he pays almost $600mo. for kids he can't see, talk to or anything because of that crazy bitch. The youngest is now cutting herself and he still gets blamed even though she is the one who cut off all contact and will not let the girls talk to him even though even TX says he has Joint Custody. Sorry about the rant.

Posted by Joshua Waaland (Member # 287) on 07-14-2007, 10:00 AM:

A guy I work with went through some crap like this. His ex-wife would take him to court every few years and get his child support payments raised. He would go to pick up his kids and they would be wearing ripped, dirty clothes and she would have new fur coats. He tried for two years to talk me out of getting married before I did.

I have heard some crazy stuff from my a lot of divorced fathers that I have known and worked with. My brother almost got a divorce ten years ago. He had to try to prove that his wife was a bum to get custody of his kids. She was known for running all over town with people half her age and staying out all night. She never had a job better than Burger King or McDonald's. She was very irresponsible with money and I could go on forever about her. In the end he was going to lose custody so he stuck it out. A few years later she cheated on him. After that he didn't have to try so hard to get custody when he divorced her. It wasn't as bitter as so many others that I have seen though.

My folks divorced when I was twelve. They tried pitting me against each other. To this day they put each other down in front of me when I have asked them repeatedly not to.

I think many dads get the short end of the stick in a divorce especially when kids are involved. Every kid involved certainly gets screwed in the end. They have to lose the home they lived in most of their lives, make new friends, go to different schools, choose to live with one parent over the other(while enduring guilt trips from the one they didn't choose), listen to their parents fighting, go between two homes, deal with step-parents and step-siblings, etc, etc. It sucks.

Every year we go to see my wife's family a few days before Christmas and leave Christmas morning. Then we drive two and a half hours north to see my dad and family for a few hours(by the time we get there they have already opened presents without us and most of them have left) and then drive another fourty five minutes north to see my mom(who usually guilt trips me because she always gets stuck with Christmas night when my father gets Christmas morning). It pisses me off because I still have to live with their mistakes(both of my parents were married three times and I have tons of half-siblings and step-siblings). I still have to hear them degrade one another, I have to try to fit them all in on holidays, etc, etc. Christmas used to be my favorite time of the year but now it is my least favorite. I wish I could just stay home and skip it altogether but then I would have to listen to the guilt trips and in the end the rest of my family would think I am the bastard. I sometimes wonder if family really wants you there to see you or if they want you there to feel good about themselves that you came to see them. [Roll Eyes]

Posted by Bobby Henderson (Member # 840) on 07-14-2007, 11:53 AM:

This thread and the flying sucks thread (with talk of screaming babies) makes me think about getting a vasectomy.

Posted by Mark Gulbrandsen (Member # 72) on 07-14-2007, 12:42 PM:

Divorces are a good thing... I could still be stuck in the Chicago Burbs [puke]

, flying doesn't suck [thumbsup]

, and babies scream because they can't always equalize their ears to the pressure differential in a jet easily. For a baby the pain can be excruciating.

There... feel better about it all now Bobby?

Mark

Posted by Brad Allen (Member # 470) on 07-14-2007, 02:21 PM:

After watching my daughter go through a divorce, and the one I went through 18 years ago, it is very obvious the court system is very [sex]

up in many ways.

Hope it works out for you and your kids Rick.

Posted by Bobby Henderson (Member # 840) on 07-14-2007, 02:52 PM:

quote: Mark Gulbrandsen
There... feel better about it all now Bobby?

Nope.

Because there's enough retarded parents out there who insist on taking their babies on planes regardless of what high altitude does to their ears.

And being married and having kids looks more and more like a crap shoot. Lots of people get married on impulse and divorce just as easily -especially here in Oklahoma. This state may be in the "bible belt" but it constantly contends with Nevada and Hawaii for the highest rates of divorce in the nation. I've known couples with kids that just bust apart from out of nowhere.

I think one of the things that attracts people to marriage is a notion of comfortable emotional security in "settling down." Having kids just seals the deal further. From what I've seen, that's all a giant lie.

There is no security or being "settled down" when it comes to marriage. Affairs and divorce can strike at any time even when a couple of kids have been added into the situation.

I've seen a number of guys goof up their marriages by taking their spouse for granted and doing a bunch of selfish shit. In those cases, they had it coming when their wives filed for divorce.

I've seen others work hard on the relationship, but still get left anyway because the wife started seeing some young punk 10 years younger. But guess what, the jilted husband still gets to pay all that alimony, child support and everything else despite the issue of adultery.

Most often the guy gets handed divorce papers over money matters.

That brings up another stupid reason why people get married: they think they'll do better having two incomes under one roof. What ends up happening very often is they run up a bunch of debt by chasing after a standard of lifestyle they cannot afford. When kids are added into the situation, a mountain of medical bills, day care bills, and bills for all kinds of other shit are added too. It costs a LOT of money to raise kids.

Marriage as an institution and tradition is in deep trouble. A rapidly growing number of educated, high skilled people are refusing to get married or have kids. Any lawyer willing to tell you the truth will say that getting married and having kids these days is a very stupid thing to do. It's at least very risky.

I'm not sure what can be done to help reverse some of the trends that are happening. Some of the religious groups want to make it much harder to get divorced. If anything I think it should be a lot more difficult for people to get married in the first place. I also believe women need to be made more accountable for their actions in a marriage that ends in divorce. Unless the wife is dousing her kids in gasoline and lighting them on fire, she gets custody, gets the house, most of the assets and the husband gets his credit ruined and gets saddled with a ton of debt. The lady could be sleeping around with every other dude in town and doing all sorts of other hinky crap and not be made to answer for it. The situation just isn't fair. And I think that no-accountability situation for women greatly encourages many of them to strike up affairs and bail out of marriages whenever the emotional urge strikes.

Posted by Leo Enticknap (Member # 534) on 07-14-2007, 03:25 PM:

Agreed completely with Bobby. The problem is three decades of feminism creating this big myth that the male partner has to be to blame for any relationship which fails, and must be punished accordingly. Can't really say more without getting political, but suffice as to say that if I met Ms. Right tomorrow, I would be happy to cohabit on the basis of a legally binding agreement which set out what happens if the relationship fails, but would be very reluctant to get married. You hear every day of similar horror stories here to the ones Bobby describes.

Posted by Louis Bornwasser (Member # 3063) on 07-14-2007, 04:03 PM:

My understanding is that Germany and maybe most of Europe makes a marriage take a year or more before it is final. Anyone "over there" care to comment? Louis

Posted by Leo Enticknap (Member # 534) on 07-14-2007, 05:04 PM:

Not here. All you need to say is 'I do', and you're done! There are some formalities needed before the ceremony can legally take place, but I don't think they are significantly difficult or expensive, or take as long as a year.

Posted by Joshua Waaland (Member # 287) on 07-14-2007, 11:31 PM:

quote: Bobby Henderson
Some of the religious groups want to make it much harder to get divorced. If anything I think it should be a lot more difficult for people to get married in the first place.

Agreed completely! Our church made us go through 6 months of pre-marital counseling before they would agree to marry us. They set us up with an older couple that had been married for 40 some years (he was a retired pastor) and we would meet at their house. We had to go through a workbook dealing with many of the important issues in marriage. It touched on money, sex and roles in a marriage to name a few. They would share some of their stories with us and vice versa. We found it very helpful (even though we dated for five years) because then you know where each other is coming from and there are no surprises the morning after. There were even questionaires in the book that you could photocopy and send to your future in-laws to learn more about your future spouse. The counselors could also recommend to the church that you not be married if they feel it would be a mistake. Our counselors said they only had to do that once but it was abundantly clear to both parties that they should not get married.

They also encouraged us to go to at least one marriage seminar a year. I usually don't want to go but my wife does. (I hate spending two days of my weekend sitting in a seminar) In the end we usually come away with a lot of good information and new techniques to try to make our marriage better. I guess the more you can focus on your marriage and take steps to make it better the better chance you will have to stay together. It's just like learning to play a sport. You wouldn't make it to the NFL if you never had proper training by coaches in high school and learned the proper techniques. Although I have seen some marriages that make me think they need a lot more than just counseling. If you have one person that is not willing to work on it then you don't have much of a chance.

Posted by Brad Allen (Member # 470) on 07-14-2007, 11:39 PM:

Churchs are trying the same tact here with consoling. Except if they don't think you should get married, they won't let you use their church for the proceedings. And your on a black list to use the other churchs as well.

My son is one of the counselors in his church, he tells some real horror stories about the couples the come in "thinking" they are in love and ready for marriage.

Bobby, your right. The court system and laws lean real heavily towards the moms side. The laws havn't been updated since the time when most females "didn't work away from the home".

So Rick, are you back in Evansville now?

Posted by Joshua Waaland (Member # 287) on 07-14-2007, 11:53 PM:

Our church doesn't put you on a black list (that I know of) but I do know they won't let you use their building or pastors to get married if they think you shouldn't be together. I'm sure if you wanted to you could just hop a flight to Las Vegas or somewhere. I'm sure the thought of going through the pre-marital counseling is enough to scare off anyone really doubting getting married anyhow.

Posted by Dave Williams (Member # 299) on 07-15-2007, 08:52 AM:

quote: Mark Gulbrandsen
It doesn't surprise me a bit that they threw it out... after all in the "LDS Church Run" state of Utah the man of the house still carries more importance and meaning than the lowly woman does... I'm glad that you are paying though... after all YOU are the father. Were you in any other state you'd probably have been put in jail.

I actually had an LDS (mormon) bishop tell me to stop paying the support so I could pay tithing instead. He told me it was my moral duty to pay the lord before supporting my children.

You are right, in any other state I would be locked up, and never would have the courts on my side. I am glad that I do have them on my side, as few men actually can ever get an upper hand.

On the flip side of that, I am the first to put out there that fathers MUST support thier children, not just financially, which is so very important, but emotionally as well. A disconnected father does so much damage to the kids he abandons. I know it is hard with many women taking a very punative approach to the fathers, but they have to have some balls and just do it and be men, not wimps and in direct result very bad examples of how to be a man or how to admire a man.

Paying support is only the beginning. Every father should do what they can regardless of the pain. I am lucky that I have a great wife that supports my desire to support my children finacially, and now my 16 year old son is moving in with me as a direct result of my continued support and upstanding example of being a man. He wants to spend his next few formative years with his dad. All it took was real hard work, dedication, and earnest efforts to connect with my ex.

I even sat down to dinner with her and her mother so we could iron things out. It took a lot of crow on my plate to get there, and it was uncomfortable, but so many guys just are not willing to do what they have to do to be men. I really think that is where our society is unravelling; men are refusing to be men.

Ciao

Posted by John Wilson (Member # 269) on 07-15-2007, 11:53 AM:

quote: Dave Williams
It took a lot of crow on my plate to get there, and it was uncomfortable, but so many guys just are not willing to do what they have to do to be men. I really think that is where our society is unravelling; men are refusing to be men.

Dave,

I quite often enjoy reading your posts as they are more often than not heartfelt and straight-shooting.

This one is right up there with the best and there's absolutely no way I could agree more with what you said. Cheers to you my dear boy.

[thumbsup]

[ 07-25-2007, 09:20 AM: Message edited by: John Wilson ]

Posted by Will Kutler (Member # 770) on 07-15-2007, 04:28 PM:

I have seen both great...and rotten marriages. And marriage does scare me.

Unfortunately, I have met a few gals in my life that I would really would have loved to have a relationship with, but it has always been the wrong time/wrong place.

I could never stand to be with a woman like those that Heffner surrounds himself with on his tv show "Girls Next Door"...brainless, self-centered, high maintenance!!! Only good for one thing!! And if Heffner was not rich, would these girls ever consider hanging around him? And what about the Paris Hilton types? Don't get me started!!!

I have had friends and known people whose new wife forced the husband to give up all his hobbies due to her jealousy...but she was able to have a "Emelda Marcos shoe closet", etc.

K

Posted by Mark Gulbrandsen (Member # 72) on 07-15-2007, 05:12 PM:

quote: Will Kutler
have had friends and known people whose new wife forced the husband to give up all his hobbies due to her jealousy...but she was able to have a "Emelda Marcos shoe closet", etc.

Well, around here its not shoes its rocks, minerals and silver n' gold so I guess I will say that WE have an Imelda Marcos Rock Closet. Fortunately my wife and I share the same interest this time round.

I agree with Will... if Heffner wasn't who he was he'd be laying in an old folks home!!

Mark

Posted by Cameron Glendinning (Member # 3516) on 07-15-2007, 06:25 PM:

quote:
Lesson to be learned: Don't have kids!

umm I will never regret having my child, probably the best thing I've ever had happen to me, I would not say that about my marrage.

Posted by Phil Hill (Member # 371) on 07-15-2007, 06:31 PM:

I totally agree with what you said, Cameron. I have 3 kids and 2 step kids. Oh, and ONE ex-wife! HA! [Smile]

Posted by Joe Redifer (Member # 3) on 07-15-2007, 07:28 PM:

The world is already hellishly overpopulated as it is. People really need to have less kids. To think that there's always a place on the planet for YOUR kids is ignorant. Only smart people should have kids, and usually they're the ones who don't. I like China's policy of murdering or eating the first born baby to each couple or whatever it is they do.

Posted by Phil Hill (Member # 371) on 07-15-2007, 07:35 PM:

I agree, Joe! There are soooo many low-life's having kids that should be shot onsight....just look at the Jerry Springer/Maury shows!

Where the hell do they find those asshole low-life's? It makes me sick!

Posted by Mike Heenan (Member # 392) on 07-15-2007, 07:40 PM:

quote: Teh Redifer
The world is already hellishly overpopulated as it is. People really need to have less kids. To think that there's always a place on the planet for YOUR kids is ignorant.

Thank god your parents had this arrogance/ignorance, otherwise we'd all be bored out of our skulls without your witty banter to counter Henderson's rants. [thumbsup]

Posted by Joe Redifer (Member # 3) on 07-15-2007, 09:20 PM:

They imprisoned my parents for having me.

Posted by Steve Guttag (Member # 268) on 07-15-2007, 10:05 PM:

And who says the justice system doesn't work (all the time)?

Posted by Richard Hamilton (Member # 321) on 07-16-2007, 10:18 PM:

quote: Brad Allen
So Rick, are you back in Evansville now?

For the summer. Then I been talking to a few people about doing some service work for them. Hopefully I haven't forgotten how a projector works [Big Grin]

quote: Mark Gulbrandsen
What you really mean is that she took the Escalade

No, it was a Sport Trac, no comments about Fords being pieces of shit compared to your Land Dog [Big Grin]

Mike, I didn't even question her moving because of my job, I was always on the road anyway. I couldn't really blame her for wanting to get out of Omaha!

I'm working on visitation rights now and probably have to hire an attorney in St. Augustine to work on this. I left Omaha shortly after she moved. For a few months I wasn't working, so that $400 a week added up quick. Then I started doing some service calls and installations and would always send her half, anywhere from $500 to $1500 to job.

Christmas '05 I get home from a job to find a notice of a hearing down in Florida about the support. I called her and said I cant make it, I've already got a ticket for China and made the arrangements with the 2 companies I working for. This is the week of Christmas I get the letter and I'm leaving like the day after new year and the hearing is on the 4th. Since all the offices were closed that week, my dad said he would call and get a continuance. Her attorney didn't return any calls or respond to a couple of faxes my dad sent.

Since I didn't show up or have an attorney, I basically agreed to whatever they asked for. Which was about $7000 by the end of the month, which was now a couple days away, and $3500 each of the next 2 months. PLUS the $400 a week. If I didn't pay, then I was to turn myself into the St. Johns Jail.

Since I didn't pay, I have a warrant in Florida. That is why I can't go see my kids. Last summer my parents offered to drive down, pick them up, and then bring them back after a couple of weeks. Nothing fit her schedule.

Last year I got a service contract for $15,000 a year. I had them pay me monthly and I just signed the checks and gave them to my attorney, who then sent her a check. The last check was in March, and as soon as the money stopped, I was back in court. I explained to the judge that I was negotiating 2 more contracts. He told me to make an effort by getting a full time job, pay $150 a week, and pay $1000 by the end of the month, or face jail time. I failed to make the full amount on a couple of the weekly payments because I didn't earn that much, but I did pay $3000 instead of $1000. Her attorney still made it an issue about the couple of low weekly payments!

You wonder why I drink [fu]

Rick

Posted by Pravin Ratnam (Member # 1417) on 07-18-2007, 09:35 PM:

One thing I never understood is preventing dads from seeing their kids for non child support is not just punishment for the dad, but for the kids too.

I also hate the fact that attorneys of all stripes think they deserve to get paid high amounts. My buddy hired a divorce lawyer who charges him $350 an hour. He is supposed to be the best in the business in MN. When I asked him if his wife who has an uncle with all the spare time in the world reprsenting her realizes that his high priced attorney fees could go to her if she was willing to settle reasonably, he said she was so greedy that she was willing to take that chance.

ALso, when I asked him if he had to pay that much, he told me that he hired a $200 an hour laywer who was so incompetent, he ponied up for the $350 an hour lawyer who was actually a better value. This is what sucks - even a lame lawyer charges 200 an hour. What a profession.

Posted by Phil Hill (Member # 371) on 07-18-2007, 09:49 PM:

Gosh, that's why the lawyers are known as sharks and should be shot on sight...

I have NO sympathy or empathy for those shysters!

Posted by Mark Gulbrandsen (Member # 72) on 07-18-2007, 09:56 PM:

quote: Richard Hamilton
no comments about Fords being pieces of shit compared to your Land Dog

You must not be aware that Ford owns Land Dog....?

quote: Richard Hamilton
I couldn't really blame her for wanting to get out of Omaha

In all fairness I don't know anyone that lives there that actually WANTS to live there.

Another note: Never fax or simply mail ANYTHING to a lawyerm they would just consoder that heresay. Always use regestered mail, or overnight something or other with a receipt that has to be signed for thats returnable to you.

quote:
I have NO sympathy or empathy for those shysters!

You're right Phil,

They should all be relegated to the same island Papillon was on!

Mark

Posted by Monte L Fullmer (Member # 2797) on 07-19-2007, 03:54 AM:

quote:
to the same island Papillon was on!

..which was Devil's Island in the French New Guineas ..

Yet, sorry to hear of Richard facing what he is facing now and truely hope the best for him..

[ 07-19-2007, 01:24 PM: Message edited by: Monte L Fullmer ]