Film-Tech Forum ARCHIVE: Mom & Dad's anniversary (when Dad has passed away)

This is topic Mom & Dad's anniversary (when Dad has passed away) - what to do? in forum Film-Yak at Film-Tech Forum ARCHIVE.

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Posted by Mike Blakesley (Member # 26) on 10-02-2009, 12:21 PM:

My dad passed away early this summer, and today is their wedding anniversary...what does a guy say to his mom on this occasion? I'll be seeing here later today.

Posted by Rick Raskin (Member # 1561) on 10-02-2009, 12:53 PM:

If it were my family, "Happy Anniversary".

The response would likely be "Thank you, it would have been our #."

Posted by Martin McCaffery (Member # 37) on 10-02-2009, 01:15 PM:

"I love you, Mom" covers just about any occaision.

Posted by Sam Graham (Member # 2889) on 10-02-2009, 02:55 PM:

Just call her and say 'hi'. Let her bring it up.

Posted by Chad Souder (Member # 343) on 10-02-2009, 03:02 PM:

Give her a card and if time some flowers and say, "Here, Dad would have wanted you to have these"

Posted by Mark Gulbrandsen (Member # 72) on 10-02-2009, 03:21 PM:

I'll second what Chad suggested....

Mark

Posted by Randy Stankey (Member # 64) on 10-02-2009, 04:59 PM:

My brother and I took our Mom out to dinner.

It was kind of a big deal back then because I was only 17 years old and he was 15. A couple of kids taking Mom out for dinner, regardless of what occasion is rather unique by itself.

It doesn't really matter what you do so long as you do something. Sitting on the sofa, watching TV together would be enough if that's what she wants.

It's more about the family being together than it is about the activity.

Mainly, don't let your mom be alone on the anniversary day unless she says she really WANTS to be alone. Even then, don't let her be "too alone." Be available, just a phone call away, in case she changes her mind and wants you.

Posted by John Wilson (Member # 269) on 10-02-2009, 08:21 PM:

Hey Mike.

I'm very sorry for your loss.

I lost my Mom in March of this year. Very sad times indeed.

Is your Mom in the same town as you? I'd make sure a visit was on the cards at least. If she's not in town, then a phone call.

Just make sure she knows you love her.

Posted by Tim Reed (Member # 137) on 10-03-2009, 09:13 AM:

John and Mike both... I'm sorry to hear of your loss. [Frown]

Posted by Brad Miller (Member # 2) on 10-03-2009, 12:06 PM:

Coming in late I third Chad's recommendation. What did you end up doing?

Posted by Mike Blakesley (Member # 26) on 10-03-2009, 12:58 PM:

Well usually I see Mom every day here at the store, but it turned out she had a dr. appointment yesterday and didn't come in, so I wound up calling her last night and will see her today. She was glad to have the appointment to keep her mind off things. She's not really a "florist flowers" person (prefers to grow her own!) It went fine. Thanks all for the recommendations.

Posted by Claude S. Ayakawa (Member # 1401) on 10-03-2009, 01:25 PM:

Mike,

I am very sorry to learn about your loss. I lost my father a little over eleven years ago and although he was almost ninety years old when he left us, my mother, my sister and I still miss him terribly. One of the thing I found that had always comforted my mother was my constant mention of my father in the conversations we have had before mother was admitted to a nursing home with dementia. She is still there and I am with her almost every day and I constantly talk about my father and I can see she is very pleased when I do.

I have always believed the memory of a loved ones should not be buried with them when they pass away. I think your mother will be happy if you spent as much time as possible with her like I am doing and always talk about the good times you all had all enjoyed with your dad. Like my mother, I know she will appreciate it

-Claude

Posted by John Wilson (Member # 269) on 10-05-2009, 01:40 AM:

Thanks Tim.

Posted by Mike Blakesley (Member # 26) on 10-05-2009, 11:20 AM:

Hi Claude, yes that's what we are all doing. There are five siblings and at least two or three of us always visit Mom's house on most weekends (which we did before Dad passed), and I see her most every day here at work too, plus she has free entry privileges at the Roxy! Mom's actually becoming more outgoing these days, because Dad wasn't much into socializing so they didn't really go many places before he died...now she's beginning to get out more often which is good.

Time is precious. We have always been a close-knit family. I really feel sorry for those who don't get along with their parents - they (both parents and kids) are missing a lot.

Posted by Chris Slycord (Member # 4239) on 10-05-2009, 11:34 AM:

It's a good thing she's getting around like she is, because otherwise it tends to be that when couples are older like that, when one goes the other follows within several months even though they were fairly healthy.