This is topic The last person who posts here wins (part 2) in forum Film-Yak at Film-Tech Forum ARCHIVE.
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Posted by Brad Miller (Member # 2) on 11-19-2009, 09:49 PM:
Whoever said the game ended at 1500 posts? ![[Big Grin]](biggrin.gif)
Posted by Tom Mundell (Member # 4555) on 11-19-2009, 09:54 PM:
Ah! You might have locked the previous thread and prevented server melt down this time, but we'll be back! Bwah ha ha ha!
Posted by John Wilson (Member # 269) on 11-19-2009, 09:55 PM:
quote: Brad Miller
Whoever said the game ended at 1500 posts?
GET HIM!
![[Wink]](wink.gif)
1497 to go.
Posted by Greg Anderson (Member # 235) on 11-19-2009, 10:28 PM:
What is truly amazing is that the first incarnation of this contest took over six months to complete! Somehow, it didn't seem like that much time had passed.
Posted by Aaron Garman (Member # 1653) on 11-19-2009, 10:49 PM:
Here we go again.
Posted by Phil Hill (Member # 371) on 11-19-2009, 10:55 PM:
I do find it amazing that Brad started the thread AND was the last person to post B4 he locked it...I guess he won. ![[uhoh]](graemlins/uhoh.gif)
The thread title DOES say The last person who posts ***here*** wins, NOT that there will be a part 2 continuation. ![[Frown]](frown.gif)
Posted by Clint Koch (Member # 1179) on 11-20-2009, 12:30 AM:
Them Crooked Vultures...
John Paul Jones
David Grohl
Joshua Homme
WOW!
Like I said before, not for everyone yet...HOLY CRAP!!!
Sorry to those who do not get them.
Clint
Posted by Tim Reed (Member # 137) on 11-20-2009, 12:44 AM:
Part TWO?! Nawwwww!
Posted by Brad Miller (Member # 2) on 11-20-2009, 12:54 AM:
Phil, are you saying I WON??? Awesome! Man oh man, what would be the best prize ever? I know...a trip INSIDE the mysterious grey house on the hill. ![[Razz]](tongue.gif)
Posted by Phil Hill (Member # 371) on 11-20-2009, 12:57 AM:
Oh PUHLEEZE Grand-Poopie-BAH, YOU have been inside that house many times...my spies have so informed me! ![[Roll Eyes]](rolleyes.gif)
![[beer]](graemlins/beer.gif)
![[thumbsup]](graemlins/thumbsup.gif)
Posted by Adam Martin (Member # 641) on 11-20-2009, 01:41 AM:
You're crazy. Brad doesn't deliver pizza.
Posted by Greg Anderson (Member # 235) on 11-20-2009, 07:32 AM:
Let's see if we can do this one in less than 6 months.
Posted by Mike Blakesley (Member # 26) on 11-20-2009, 11:09 AM:
Since I didn't win the last one, I'm pissed off and won't be participating in this one. Wait a minute.....DAMMIT!
Posted by Paul Mayer (Member # 355) on 11-20-2009, 11:56 AM:
quote: Adam Martin
You're crazy. Brad doesn't deliver pizza.
Nor sushi, from what I've been told...
Posted by Mark J. Marshall (Member # 1409) on 11-20-2009, 02:15 PM:
Hell, I say we make this like every other Hollywood sequel and just re-do everything we already did.
"I see you brought yer rubbers."
Posted by Tim Reed (Member # 137) on 11-20-2009, 02:19 PM:
See? Your stupid minds! Stupid! Stupid!
Posted by Phil Hill (Member # 371) on 11-20-2009, 02:24 PM:
I wonder what the 1st eight were...
Posted by Paul Mayer (Member # 355) on 11-20-2009, 03:08 PM:
The world will end in 15 minutes. Please log off and prepare.
Posted by Phil Hill (Member # 371) on 11-20-2009, 03:17 PM:
Paul, that's really funny!
Posted by Greg Anderson (Member # 235) on 11-20-2009, 04:29 PM:
I think we should have a prequel to this contest... or a "re-imagined" version. And someone should make the ending the way it was in the book instead of the silly way it ended last time we tried it.
Posted by Ian Parfrey (Member # 5122) on 11-20-2009, 05:38 PM:
The Last Person Who Posts Here Wins (Part 2) : The Directors Cut
Warniversafoxmount Distrib
SuperUltraPanaMega 70
1:33 - 2.4
SR.D / SR / Cyan / Mag stripe / DTS / SDDS / Mono / Perspecta / Unilateral VA / Variable Density / Push Pull / ERPA
17,263 reels
Technilux
![[sleep]](graemlins/sleep.gif)
Posted by Mike Blakesley (Member # 26) on 11-20-2009, 06:02 PM:
quote: Ian Parfrey
Warniversafoxmount
Wow! He can see into the future!
Posted by Ian Parfrey (Member # 5122) on 11-20-2009, 06:57 PM:
All seeing!
![[Eek!]](eek.gif)
..and tonight's lotto numbers are.......
Posted by Paul Mayer (Member # 355) on 11-20-2009, 07:14 PM:
quote:
Paul, that's really funny! [beer] [thumbsup]
Thank you Sir! May I have another?
Posted by Jeremy Jorgenson (Member # 2989) on 11-20-2009, 07:54 PM:
ok, I'll bite ... again
Posted by Phil Hill (Member # 371) on 11-20-2009, 09:35 PM:
A well-done steak is a ruined steak! Make mine medium-rare and skip the A1!
Posted by Tim Reed (Member # 137) on 11-20-2009, 11:10 PM:
quote: Phil Hill
I wonder what the 1st eight were...
I thought it was more like they had a big book of plans, and they were just trying number nine.
Posted by Frank Angel (Member # 248) on 11-21-2009, 12:14 AM:
Number nine....Number nine....Number nine....Number nine....
I am with Phil, but I will go even one step closer to the caveman -- I want mine RARE.
I know a chef in a very high-end foo foo eatery with a French name who, although worked in a such a place was born & raised in Brooklyn. He was Italian and a weigh lifter by hobby, but incredibly imposing to say the least.
One night after he had fought with the management to purchase the most expensive quarters of aged grass-fed beef, he had is signature steak dish on the menu and a customer order his well-done. That erked Giovani, but he didn't let it get to him. However a few minutes after the main course was served, the waiter came back and said the man at table 9 who orderd the steak just asked for a bottle of ketchup. Giovani threw his hat on the floor and stormed out of the kitchen into the dining room, walked over to table #9 and asked the man if it was he who wanted ketchup. The man said it was, and Giovani slammed the ketchup bottle on the table with one hand and grabbed the plate with the other and said, "Here. Enjoy the ketchup, but you won't ruin my steak with it." and he walked back to the kitchen, steak in hand, leaving the guy sitting there dumb founded. The owner ran in after him and they had a shouting match but he wouldn't budge. Finally the boss went out to the table and apologized to the customer and said he could order anything he liked from the menu on the house....just not the steak! I love that story.
Posted by Joe Elliott (Member # 4006) on 11-21-2009, 11:11 AM:
Bill Gluckman is down with the Bitches and the Hoes!
Ya gotta keep your pimpn' hand strong.
Posted by Greg Anderson (Member # 235) on 11-21-2009, 04:04 PM:
Just keeping this moving.
Posted by Paul Mayer (Member # 355) on 11-21-2009, 07:55 PM:
My instructions to the wait staff when I order a steak go one of two ways:
Show it to the fire.
and/or
Whack the horns off and wipe it - I'm ready.
My favorite dish (back when it was legal to serve) was the "Rare Wagon" at The Kettle coffee shop in Manhattan Beach. It was a large plate lined with thin-sliced cuts of blood-rare beef, served with perfectly steamed veggies, mashed spuds, and a great horseradish. Absolute. Heaven.
Posted by Randy Stankey (Member # 64) on 11-21-2009, 08:17 PM:
How do I like my steak cooked?
1) Wave a match under it.
2) I want it still mooing.
3) I want it so rare I can still see the marks where the jockey was hitting it. (Rodney Dangerfield)
4) A good veterinarian can have it back on its feet in fifteen minutes.
Posted by Greg Anderson (Member # 235) on 11-21-2009, 09:14 PM:
Boosting the numbers, again.
Posted by Joe Elliott (Member # 4006) on 11-22-2009, 01:53 AM:
Mr. President, Welcome aboard Air Force One.
Posted by Paul Mayer (Member # 355) on 11-22-2009, 12:01 PM:
I'm a black & white projectionist - all black or all white.
Posted by Mike Blakesley (Member # 26) on 11-22-2009, 12:47 PM:
I'm not a fast cook.
I'm not a slow cook.
I'm a half-fast cook.
Posted by Greg Anderson (Member # 235) on 11-22-2009, 06:40 PM:
Keep going!
Posted by Jeremy Jorgenson (Member # 2989) on 11-22-2009, 07:59 PM:
quote: Frank Angel
The man said it was, and Giovani slammed the ketchup bottle on the table with one hand and grabbed the plate with the other and said, "Here. Enjoy the ketchup, but you won't ruin my steak with it." and he walked back to the kitchen, steak in hand, leaving the guy sitting there dumb founded
I was waiting for the kicker that he had asked for the ketchup for his wife's fries
Posted by John Wilson (Member # 269) on 11-22-2009, 08:17 PM:
quote: Greg Anderson
Just keeping this moving.
quote: Greg Anderson
Boosting the numbers, again.
quote: Greg Anderson
Keep going!
OK... question is: why are you doing this?
Posted by Ian Parfrey (Member # 5122) on 11-22-2009, 08:32 PM:
.....because (tick whichever applies)
A. There's nothing on TV
B. There is only 10 more minutes until overtime and I can use the extra $$$
C. I have already answered the "Do you want a bigger penis" emails with.."Why, yes- as soon as I get my gender reallocation completed...signed Sarah"
D. That Tina W frequents this forum
E. I have a forlorn hope that this is a legit competition.
Posted by Jeremy Jorgenson (Member # 2989) on 11-22-2009, 09:19 PM:
quote: John Wilson
why are you doing this?
my guess would be
quote: Greg Anderson
Let's see if we can do this one in less than 6 months.
Posted by Tony Bandiera Jr (Member # 2365) on 11-23-2009, 12:24 AM:
I predict this one will top out in four months..so what do I win if I'm right? ![[Smile]](smile.gif)
Posted by John Wilson (Member # 269) on 11-23-2009, 12:36 AM:
quote: Jeremy Jorgenson
my guess would be
Nah...that's way too obvious.
Posted by Phil Hill (Member # 371) on 11-23-2009, 09:24 AM:
I predict whenever it ends, Brad will be the winner. ![[evil]](graemlins/evil.gif)
Posted by Greg Anderson (Member # 235) on 11-23-2009, 10:33 AM:
I wonder how many posts happen on this entire site on any given day. So, if you put something in this thread after each time you post anything "real" on another thread, how long would it take (with everyone's cooperation) to reach the end of this thread?
But... what is the point of this exercise? I don't know. I assume Brad's trying to test the members and/or the software. I have no idea. (Perhaps there would be more cooperation if Brad would just give us the reason.)
Posted by Paul Mayer (Member # 355) on 11-23-2009, 12:12 PM:
Does there have to be a reason?
Posted by Greg Anderson (Member # 235) on 11-23-2009, 03:58 PM:
If there isn't a reason, then maybe I'll just advocate that we fill this thread up as slowly as possible. How about taking a year to complete it? Or two? Or five?
Posted by Mike Blakesley (Member # 26) on 11-23-2009, 07:50 PM:
quote: Greg Anderson
Perhaps there would be more cooperation if Brad would just give us the reason.
What do you mean "there might be more cooperation?" We got over 1500 posts in just a few months in a thread with absolutely no point whatsoever. That looks like pretty good cooperation to me!
By the way:
Piss on you...I'm workin' fer Mel Brooks!
Posted by Jeremy Jorgenson (Member # 2989) on 11-23-2009, 07:52 PM:
It is odd that the first one turned into a "random quote" thread though, eh?
Posted by Tim Reed (Member # 137) on 11-23-2009, 09:41 PM:
Oh, what sad times are these, when passing ruffians can say, "nee" at will to old ladies!
Posted by Ian Parfrey (Member # 5122) on 11-24-2009, 03:48 AM:
Africa! ... Where the thread of life is spun from cheaper thread ... Africa! Where the elephants have graveyards and men are left to rot where they fall ... Africa! Where pestilence, carnage, and rapine are not disasters, but a way of life
Posted by Greg Anderson (Member # 235) on 11-24-2009, 08:46 AM:
quote: Mike Blakesley
We got over 1500 posts in just a few months in a thread with absolutely no point whatsoever.
My key word was "more." It could have gone faster if there was a sense of purpose. Of course, with everyone assuming their own idea of a purpose, I guess that meant the thread was pure art.
Posted by Paul Mayer (Member # 355) on 11-24-2009, 11:55 AM:
SEXY UNDERWEAR CAN BLOW UP COMPUTERS
Posted by John Wilson (Member # 269) on 11-24-2009, 02:07 PM:
Noo!
Posted by Paul Mayer (Member # 355) on 11-25-2009, 12:12 PM:
The only difference between an actress and a hooker is the hooker fakes orgasm a little better.
Posted by Phil Hill (Member # 371) on 11-25-2009, 05:06 PM:
I'm so old that when I eat out, they ask me for the money up front...
Posted by Tim Reed (Member # 137) on 11-25-2009, 07:05 PM:
quote: John Wilson
Noo!
No, no... 'nee'. You're not doing it properly.
Posted by Paul Mayer (Member # 355) on 11-25-2009, 11:11 PM:
We are no longer the knights that say 'Ni'.
Posted by John Wilson (Member # 269) on 11-25-2009, 11:54 PM:
Noo!
Posted by Phil Hill (Member # 371) on 11-26-2009, 02:23 AM:
TIM! Check yur F'n EMAIL here and at your "other" web site!
I keep getting nasty messages that say that my emails cannot be delivered. SHIT Fire!
I'm begining to feel insubstantial...
Posted by Jeremy Jorgenson (Member # 2989) on 11-26-2009, 11:24 AM:
The previous message could not be delivered.
Posted by Paul Mayer (Member # 355) on 11-26-2009, 02:14 PM:
Today's message has been brought to you by the number 404.
Posted by John Wilson (Member # 269) on 11-26-2009, 04:54 PM:
...and by the letters: F U C and K
Posted by Paul Mayer (Member # 355) on 11-27-2009, 12:34 PM:
She's got huge... tracts of land!
Posted by Phil Hill (Member # 371) on 11-27-2009, 06:06 PM:
The characters and events depicted in this photoplay are fictitious.
Any similarity to actual persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental.
Posted by Tony Bandiera Jr (Member # 2365) on 11-28-2009, 12:58 AM:
All animal action was monitored by ASPCA, no animals were harmed during the filming of this motion picture.
Posted by Adam Martin (Member # 641) on 11-28-2009, 01:55 AM:
All characters and events in this show -- even those based on real people -- are entirely fictional. All celebrity voices are impersonated ... poorly. The following program contains coarse language and due to its content it should not be viewed by anyone.
Posted by Ian Parfrey (Member # 5122) on 11-28-2009, 03:43 AM:
What's up Skip?
Posted by Mike Blakesley (Member # 26) on 11-28-2009, 10:59 AM:
This...is the city. Los Angeles, California. A lot of people work here. Some people work to take what doesn't belong to them. When they do, I go to work. I carry a badge.
Posted by Paul Mayer (Member # 355) on 11-28-2009, 12:40 PM:
Just the facts ma'am.
Posted by Phil Hill (Member # 371) on 11-28-2009, 03:36 PM:
A man's got to know his limitations.
Posted by Paul Mayer (Member # 355) on 11-29-2009, 12:19 PM:
Lack of skill dictates economy of style.
Posted by Bill Enos (Member # 440) on 11-29-2009, 07:33 PM:
Round up the usual suspects
Posted by Mark Ogden (Member # 43) on 11-29-2009, 08:29 PM:
But the Krell forgot one thing . . . monsters, John! Monsters from the id !
Posted by Frank Angel (Member # 248) on 11-30-2009, 09:07 PM:
Thank you for calling. Please listen to the following instructions the menu has changed. If you want to hear the menu in a language other than English, go back to the country where they speak it.
Posted by Phil Hill (Member # 371) on 11-30-2009, 09:12 PM:
And now, the glasses into the fireplace!
Posted by Paul Mayer (Member # 355) on 11-30-2009, 09:17 PM:
I have flying monkeys at my command, and I'm not afraid to use them.
Posted by Phil Hill (Member # 371) on 11-30-2009, 09:18 PM:
You wicked witch!
Posted by Paul Mayer (Member # 355) on 11-30-2009, 09:19 PM:
I have flying monkeys at my command, and I'm not afraid to use them.
Posted by Phil Hill (Member # 371) on 11-30-2009, 09:59 PM:
Badges? We ain't got no badges! We don't need no badges! I don't have to show you any stinking badges!
Posted by Frank Angel (Member # 248) on 11-30-2009, 10:06 PM:
Ahh....Hombre, jew got de mauney
Posted by Jeremy Jorgenson (Member # 2989) on 12-01-2009, 12:32 AM:
quote: Frank Angel
If you want to hear the menu in a language other than English, go back to the country where they speak it
...and if you want to hear it in English - go to ENGLAND!
Posted by Mike Blakesley (Member # 26) on 12-01-2009, 12:57 AM:
Well, to make a long, internationally copyrighted story short...
Posted by John Wilson (Member # 269) on 12-01-2009, 12:58 AM:
...use a sharp pair of scissors.
Posted by Robert John Jeromson (Member # 2559) on 12-01-2009, 01:04 AM:
And run with them...
Posted by Joe Elliott (Member # 4006) on 12-01-2009, 02:06 AM:
You can lead a horse to water, but if you can get him to do the backstroke, you've got something!
Posted by William T. Parr (Member # 677) on 12-01-2009, 08:25 AM:
I'm still amazed I haven't won yet.
Posted by Paul Mayer (Member # 355) on 12-01-2009, 01:15 PM:
It could be that the only purpose of your life is to serve as a warning to others.
Posted by John Wilson (Member # 269) on 12-01-2009, 04:55 PM:
"IT'S THE CALIFORNIA DOLLS!"
Posted by Phil Hill (Member # 371) on 12-01-2009, 05:04 PM:
It's The California Raisins...
Posted by Gordon Bachlund (Member # 124) on 12-01-2009, 05:10 PM:
California prunes are more effective..
Posted by John Wilson (Member # 269) on 12-01-2009, 05:16 PM:
"Oh, you beautiful doll..."
Posted by Tim Reed (Member # 137) on 12-01-2009, 10:26 PM:
Pant! Pant! Pant! Pant!
The girls ain't bad, either!
And now for something completely different...
Posted by Joe Elliott (Member # 4006) on 12-02-2009, 10:47 AM:
Arther "two sheds" Jackson
Posted by Paul Mayer (Member # 355) on 12-03-2009, 01:07 PM:
Workin' the day shift at the drive-in.
Posted by Tony Bandiera Jr (Member # 2365) on 12-03-2009, 01:18 PM:
"Little boy blew..he needed the money." - Andrew Dice Clay
Posted by John Wilson (Member # 269) on 12-03-2009, 09:20 PM:
Do you in fact...own 2 sheds?
Posted by Paul Mayer (Member # 355) on 12-03-2009, 11:49 PM:
So we tanned his hide when he died Clyde, and that's it hangin' on the shed.
Posted by Mike Blakesley (Member # 26) on 12-04-2009, 12:19 AM:
Where do you think you're going? Nobody's leaving! Nobody's walking out on this fun, old-fashioned family Christmas. No, no. We're all in this together. This is a full-blown, four-alarm holiday emergency here. We're gonna press on, and we're gonna have the hap-hap-happiest Christmas since Bing Crosby tap-danced with Danny fuckin' Kaye. And when Santa squeezes his fat white ass down that chimney tonight, he's gonna find the jolliest bunch of assholes this side of the nuthouse.
Posted by Tim Reed (Member # 137) on 12-04-2009, 12:27 AM:
No, I've only got one. I've had one for some time, but a few years ago I said I was thinking of getting another, and since then some people have called me "Two Sheds".
Posted by John Wilson (Member # 269) on 12-04-2009, 12:48 AM:
Actually, I hate the whole '2 Sheds' thing. I wish I'd never gotten a bloody shed!
Posted by Robert Minichino (Member # 3495) on 12-04-2009, 09:58 AM:
Then you'll be Arthur "no sheds" Jackson.
Posted by Paul Mayer (Member # 355) on 12-04-2009, 11:40 AM:
Do you ever wish your spouse would get cancer? Be honest now. I mean, just as a passing thought. It's like a divorce, but with a one-time alimony payment for some land and a tasteful aluminum box.
Posted by Richard Hamilton (Member # 321) on 12-04-2009, 12:59 PM:
quote: Paul Mayer
Do you ever wish your spouse would get cancer?
I've wished far worse on her than that, but luckily, my wishes never came true. She has my kids.
old news A one sided story that I was never contacted on. I just happened to see it in the paper one morning.
Posted by Ian Parfrey (Member # 5122) on 12-04-2009, 01:32 PM:
Richard.
I know this may be of little comfort, but never forget that you are not alone in this, and that you have the backing of many, MANY guys who are on the receiving end of what you have had to endure.
BTW, my ex calls me the sperm donor. That doesn't bother me much- I call her "The Incubator"
Hang in there, Man.
Posted by Phil Hill (Member # 371) on 12-04-2009, 02:13 PM:
quote: Ian
BTW, my ex calls me the sperm donor. That doesn't bother me much- I call her "The Incubator"
That's hilarious!!!
I'd hate to tell yous what my ex-wife called me... YIKES!
Posted by John Wilson (Member # 269) on 12-04-2009, 08:30 PM:
Posted by Tim Reed (Member # 137) on 12-04-2009, 08:44 PM:
HAAAAAAAAAAHahahahaa! Good one.
Posted by John Wilson (Member # 269) on 12-04-2009, 10:05 PM:
Posted by Mark J. Marshall (Member # 1409) on 12-04-2009, 11:12 PM:
Those are great.
Posted by John Wilson (Member # 269) on 12-05-2009, 01:50 AM:
Aren't they?
Posted by Paul Mayer (Member # 355) on 12-05-2009, 02:00 PM:
Yes they are indeed.
It's difficult to laugh when you're choking back vomit.
Posted by John Wilson (Member # 269) on 12-06-2009, 12:25 AM:
C'mon Paul, she can't be that bad...
Posted by Paul Mayer (Member # 355) on 12-06-2009, 01:29 PM:
Restraining orders are just another way of saying I love you.
Posted by Clint Koch (Member # 1179) on 12-06-2009, 06:04 PM:
Greetings from Hong Kong.
Posted by Victor Liorentas (Member # 5272) on 12-06-2009, 07:02 PM:
Here lies the folly of Mary Lee,died at the age of 103...
Posted by Ian Parfrey (Member # 5122) on 12-06-2009, 07:40 PM:
Both the delrin skates and the steel strips are subject to wear and should, therefore, be regularly checked and timely replaced.
Posted by Mike Blakesley (Member # 26) on 12-06-2009, 07:44 PM:
quote: Victor Liorentas
Here lies the folly of Mary Lee,died at the age of 103...
I already posted this one (correctly quoted, I might add) in the other thread, so therefore I win.
Posted by John Wilson (Member # 269) on 12-06-2009, 08:05 PM:
Posted by Phil Hill (Member # 371) on 12-07-2009, 01:54 AM:
John: Enough of those stupit posts already!!!!!! ![[puke]](graemlins/puke.gif)
Posted by Frank Angel (Member # 248) on 12-07-2009, 07:10 AM:
Can you image what this poor kid had to do through during grade school and high school with the name Pigman? And now having to deal with divorce cases where all men are considered pigs can't be too easy either.
Posted by Tim Reed (Member # 137) on 12-07-2009, 10:25 AM:
I'm afraid we're fresh out of Red Leicester, sir.
Posted by Paul Mayer (Member # 355) on 12-07-2009, 12:00 PM:
My good man, a Rolls Royce does not "break down," it "fails to proceed."
Posted by John Wilson (Member # 269) on 12-07-2009, 02:26 PM:
quote: Phil Hill
John: Enough of those stupit posts already!!!!!!
Hey Phil
This whole thread is full of stupit posts!
In any case, that's all I have (for now)
Posted by Ian Parfrey (Member # 5122) on 12-07-2009, 02:45 PM:
Any Norweigan Jarlsburg, per chance.
Posted by Mike Blakesley (Member # 26) on 12-07-2009, 03:15 PM:
quote: Frank Angel
Can you image what this poor kid had to do through during grade school and high school with the name Pigman?
That may be better than being known as "Balloon Boy" your whole life.
Posted by Ian Parfrey (Member # 5122) on 12-07-2009, 03:37 PM:
Pigman??
Even being called PigFACE is better than having braindead, dickhead parents like Balloon Boy has.
Posted by John Wilson (Member # 269) on 12-07-2009, 05:13 PM:
Normally...yes. Today...the van broke down.
Posted by Ian Parfrey (Member # 5122) on 12-07-2009, 05:59 PM:
Venezuelan Beaver Cheese?
Posted by Clint Koch (Member # 1179) on 12-07-2009, 07:30 PM:
Yes, its true, this man has no dick.
Posted by John Wilson (Member # 269) on 12-07-2009, 07:51 PM:
We get that fresh on Mondays, sir.
Posted by Paul Mayer (Member # 355) on 12-07-2009, 08:23 PM:
Smells like Gaffio's Fish Market on a Tuesday afternoon.
Posted by Tim Reed (Member # 137) on 12-08-2009, 12:31 AM:
It's not much of a cheese shop, is it?
Posted by Ian Parfrey (Member # 5122) on 12-08-2009, 03:32 AM:
I see. Well, do you want to have just one argument, or were you thinking of taking a course?
...... Shit, wrong sketch .....
... The finest in the district, Sir
Posted by John Wilson (Member # 269) on 12-08-2009, 03:52 AM:
"Explain pray the logic underlying the aforesaid conclusion".
"Well, it's so clean, sir".
"It's certainly uncontaminated by CHEESE!"
Sorry boys...I was on a roll.
Posted by Joe Elliott (Member # 4006) on 12-08-2009, 03:04 PM:
You haven't asked me about Limburger, sir.
Posted by Paul Mayer (Member # 355) on 12-08-2009, 03:46 PM:
Would it be worth it?
Posted by Phil Hill (Member # 371) on 12-08-2009, 11:01 PM:
Oh the weather outside is frightful,
Posted by Sean Weitzel (Member # 244) on 12-08-2009, 11:25 PM:
"...Brad's new screening room is so delightful!...."
Posted by Phil Hill (Member # 371) on 12-08-2009, 11:34 PM:
And since we've no [other] place to go,
Posted by Mike Blakesley (Member # 26) on 12-08-2009, 11:56 PM:
I wonder what Frank Dubrois is up to these days.
Posted by Phil Hill (Member # 371) on 12-09-2009, 12:40 AM:
The city of Moorpark (CA) spelled backward = kraproom... YIKES!
Posted by Paul Mayer (Member # 355) on 12-09-2009, 01:05 PM:
Ozark Airlines and Aluminum Storm Door Company, cloud in the sky, we don't fly!
Remember, Ozark spelled backwards is Krazo!
Posted by Phil Hill (Member # 371) on 12-10-2009, 03:37 AM:
Hot(el) (C)oral (Es)sex
Posted by Paul Mayer (Member # 355) on 12-10-2009, 12:10 PM:
Whiskey Tango Fox, over?
Posted by Mike Blakesley (Member # 26) on 12-10-2009, 02:01 PM:
Charlie put some BTO, ELO and CCR on his MP3, took his F150 out on I-94, drank a 6 of MGD, did 100 and got a DUI.
Posted by John Wilson (Member # 269) on 12-10-2009, 04:18 PM:
Could be...
Posted by Paul Mayer (Member # 355) on 12-11-2009, 11:57 AM:
You should hear what the anime voices inside my head are calling you.
Posted by Joe Elliott (Member # 4006) on 12-11-2009, 07:56 PM:
That's not a palindrome, the palindrome of Bolton would be Notlob!!
Posted by Bobby Henderson (Member # 840) on 12-12-2009, 12:40 AM:
Gary Johnston: I'm completely lost! I've hit rock bottom!
Drunk in Bar: Easy, easy, whoa! You gotta calm down there, Chuck.
Gary Johnston: I hurt people. I'm a dick.
Drunk in Bar: Well being a dick ain't so bad. See there's three kinds of people. Dicks, pussies and assholes. Pussies think everyone can get along and dicks just want to fuck all the time without thinking it through. But then you've got your assholes, Chuck. And all the assholes want is to shit all over everything! So pussies may get mad at dicks once in awhile because pussies get fucked by dicks. But dicks also fuck assholes, Chuck. And if they didn't fuck the assholes you know what you'd get? You'd get your dick and your pussy all covered in shit!
Gary Johnston vomits on the bar.
Posted by Paul Mayer (Member # 355) on 12-12-2009, 11:49 AM:
So I'm driving over the hump to Pahrump, minding my own business, when all of sudden some dick in a truck cuts me off!
.
.
.
Posted by Phil Hill (Member # 371) on 12-13-2009, 06:36 PM:
I got somethin' to show ya, Francine! It's long. And it's sleek. And it's powerful. It's mah new 'vette!
Posted by John Wilson (Member # 269) on 12-13-2009, 07:52 PM:
"Do you have any?" he asked, expecting the answer 'no'.
Posted by Tim Reed (Member # 137) on 12-13-2009, 08:54 PM:
I'll have a look, sir.
Nnnnnnnno.
Posted by Joe Elliott (Member # 4006) on 12-14-2009, 11:26 AM:
And Saint Attila raised the hand grenade up on high, saying, "O Lord, bless this Thy hand grenade that with it Thou mayest blow Thine enemies to tiny bits, in Thy mercy."
Posted by Paul Mayer (Member # 355) on 12-14-2009, 11:54 AM:
If you say you don't know where it is, I'll nail your tits to the table!
Posted by Phil Hill (Member # 371) on 12-14-2009, 06:23 PM:
Bring me four fried chickens and a Coke.
Posted by Joe Elliott (Member # 4006) on 12-15-2009, 01:35 AM:
She couldn't be your mother. No woman ever slept with me and lived.
Posted by Ian Parfrey (Member # 5122) on 12-15-2009, 02:20 AM:
"She-eit ! They still owe you money, fool!"
Posted by Paul Mayer (Member # 355) on 12-15-2009, 01:09 PM:
Penguin in bondage...
Posted by James. R. Deeter (Member # 837) on 12-15-2009, 07:02 PM:
What?
What country are you from?
What? What? Wh - ?
"What" ain't no country I've ever heard of. They speak English in What?
What?
English, motherfucker, do you speak it?
Yes! Yes!
Then you know what I'm sayin'!
Yes!
Describe what Marsellus Wallace looks like!
What?
Say 'what' again. Say 'what' again, I dare you, I double dare you motherfucker, say what one more Goddamn time!
Posted by John Wilson (Member # 269) on 12-16-2009, 06:05 AM:
Yes, well...to be expected really. It was an act of purest optimism to have posed the question in the first place...tell me, do you in fact have any cheese here at all?
Posted by Ian Parfrey (Member # 5122) on 12-16-2009, 06:22 AM:
"Yes Sir.
"Really?"
"No. Not really, sir."
Posted by John Wilson (Member # 269) on 12-16-2009, 06:26 AM:
("I've been completely wasting your time".)
"Well, I'm sorry...but I'm going to have to shoot you."
Posted by Paul Mayer (Member # 355) on 12-16-2009, 12:32 PM:
What a senseless waste of human protoplasm.
Posted by Manny Knowles (Member # 1171) on 12-16-2009, 01:03 PM:
Miss Teschmacher, when I was six years old my father said to me --
--Get out!
No. Before that...
I know this will make me seem like a mushy prick but "Happy Holidays!"
Posted by William T. Parr (Member # 677) on 12-16-2009, 03:02 PM:
Otisville
Posted by Paul Mayer (Member # 355) on 12-17-2009, 12:07 PM:
There! You're nice and clean!
Al-though your face looks like it might have gone through a ma-chine.
Posted by Phil Hill (Member # 371) on 12-17-2009, 12:58 PM:
One Timex digital watch, broken. One unused prophylactic.
Posted by Manny Knowles (Member # 1171) on 12-17-2009, 01:05 PM:
Otisburg!
Posted by Phil Hill (Member # 371) on 12-17-2009, 02:03 PM:
Mopery is exposing yourself to a blind person.
Posted by Jonathan Bodge (Member # 4072) on 12-17-2009, 03:37 PM:
Testing, testing, beta, beta.
Posted by Paul Mayer (Member # 355) on 12-17-2009, 03:52 PM:
Otis Elevator!
Posted by Ian Parfrey (Member # 5122) on 12-17-2009, 04:33 PM:
Milo & Otis
Posted by John Wilson (Member # 269) on 12-17-2009, 04:35 PM:
"...one soiled."
Posted by Ian Parfrey (Member # 5122) on 12-17-2009, 04:42 PM:
"We had a band powerful enough to turn goat piss into gasoline."
Posted by Mike Blakesley (Member # 26) on 12-17-2009, 06:04 PM:
So Jake, you're out, you're free, you're rehabilitated...what's next? What's happenin'? Whatcha gonna do? You got the money you owe us, motherfucker?
Posted by Manny Knowles (Member # 1171) on 12-18-2009, 04:43 AM:
One book!
Posted by Ian Parfrey (Member # 5122) on 12-18-2009, 04:49 AM:
"Our lady of blessed acceleration, don't fail me now!"
Posted by John Wilson (Member # 269) on 12-18-2009, 04:58 AM:
"I've always loved you..."
Posted by Paul Mayer (Member # 355) on 12-18-2009, 01:02 PM:
There she was: dejected, desperate, and stoned. Everything I could have hoped for in a woman.
Posted by Manny Knowles (Member # 1171) on 12-18-2009, 01:04 PM:
She can't sing, she can't dance, she can't act.
She's a triple threat.
Posted by Tony Bandiera Jr (Member # 2365) on 12-18-2009, 10:43 PM:
What the fuck am I doing here?
Posted by Bobby Henderson (Member # 840) on 12-18-2009, 11:03 PM:
Tigers love pepper. They hate Cinnamon.
Posted by Paul Mayer (Member # 355) on 12-19-2009, 01:05 PM:
Description of the perfect girlfriend:
Three feet tall, no teeth, and a flat head so you have a place to put your beer.
Posted by Ian Parfrey (Member # 5122) on 12-19-2009, 02:04 PM:
"Illinois Nazis"
"I hate Illinois Nazis"
Posted by Phil Hill (Member # 371) on 12-19-2009, 02:29 PM:
That ain't no Hank Williams song!
Posted by Mike Blakesley (Member # 26) on 12-20-2009, 01:10 PM:
Guideline for keeping items in theatre's lost-n-found box:
Major clothing items (jackets, sweaters etc.) - 7 days
Minor clothing items (scarves, gloves, etc.) - 3 days
Jewelry - 14 days
Kids' jewelry - 3 days
Wallets - 30 days
Cell phones - throw directly into incinerator
Posted by Paul Mayer (Member # 355) on 12-20-2009, 01:17 PM:
Mess with me and you sing and dance in the dark.
Posted by Phil Hill (Member # 371) on 12-20-2009, 01:23 PM:
You kids keep your noses clean, you understand?
Posted by Jason Black (Member # 684) on 12-20-2009, 05:38 PM:
Uh oh.. I'm under Phil... WTF? ;-)
Posted by Frank Angel (Member # 248) on 12-21-2009, 06:45 AM:
You're not the first, Jason, and you won't be the last.
Posted by Paul Mayer (Member # 355) on 12-21-2009, 12:46 PM:
Thank God!
Oh, and Happy Winter Solstice!
Posted by Adam Martin (Member # 641) on 12-21-2009, 05:08 PM:
Just once, why can't the right thing and the topless thing be the same thing?
Posted by Joe Tommassello (Member # 4632) on 12-21-2009, 05:25 PM:
You squirrels better have some nuts in your mouth!
Posted by Phil Hill (Member # 371) on 12-21-2009, 05:44 PM:
What you been smoking, boy? ...Some of that I-30 stuff?
Posted by Manny Knowles (Member # 1171) on 12-23-2009, 01:39 AM:
Jane, you ignorant slut!
Posted by Paul Mayer (Member # 355) on 12-23-2009, 12:41 PM:
Member, International Alliance that stands by the truck, drinks coffee, and talks penalty time.
Posted by Tim Reed (Member # 137) on 12-23-2009, 02:31 PM:
Folks, they're not Del Fuegos.
Posted by William T. Parr (Member # 677) on 12-23-2009, 03:30 PM:
If there not Del Fuegos' are they at least En Fuego?
Posted by John Wilson (Member # 269) on 12-23-2009, 03:34 PM:
What the fuego you guys talking about?
Posted by Clint Koch (Member # 1179) on 12-23-2009, 06:31 PM:
Posers.
Lose the watches.
Posted by Paul Mayer (Member # 355) on 12-24-2009, 01:01 PM:
That face could stop Big Ben, a sundial, and a free digital watch.
Posted by Tim Reed (Member # 137) on 12-24-2009, 03:03 PM:
Here's to ol' D.H. Lawrence. *Neh-neh-neh! Phff-pff-pff!*
Indians!
Posted by Paul Mayer (Member # 355) on 12-25-2009, 03:43 PM:
Oh, don't tell me there's a market for canned slob?
Posted by Manny Knowles (Member # 1171) on 12-25-2009, 06:34 PM:
I haven't felt this bad since that Ronald Reagan film!
Posted by Paul Mayer (Member # 355) on 12-26-2009, 01:20 PM:
Confuse
Obfuscate
Mumble
Mispronounce
Abbreviate
Nasalize
Drool
Posted by Phil Hill (Member # 371) on 12-26-2009, 03:03 PM:
Don't be like some cheese-eating high school boy!
Posted by Jason Black (Member # 684) on 12-26-2009, 11:56 PM:
How does this happen TWICE and completely at random?
Posted by Phil Hill (Member # 371) on 12-27-2009, 11:53 PM:
Oh c'mon Jason! You know you planned it and YOU LIKE IT! HA!
Posted by Paul Mayer (Member # 355) on 12-28-2009, 01:53 AM:
Those that don't get carried away should be.
Posted by Ian Parfrey (Member # 5122) on 12-28-2009, 01:56 AM:
To be or not to be...what was the question?
Posted by Paul Mayer (Member # 355) on 12-28-2009, 02:39 PM:
So many ways to kill time, so little...wait...
Posted by Adam Martin (Member # 641) on 12-29-2009, 09:39 PM:
You play hard to get. I play hard to get rid of.
Posted by Paul Mayer (Member # 355) on 12-30-2009, 01:21 PM:
No restraining order can hold back my love.
Posted by Frank Angel (Member # 248) on 12-30-2009, 01:51 PM:
You know I can't believe it
when I hear that you won't see me
You think you've changed your mind,
You'd better change it back
or we will both be sorry.
From the Scary Stalker Song.
Posted by Mike Blakesley (Member # 26) on 12-30-2009, 06:40 PM:
He choked on vomit, actually...it's a very sad story...it was actually someone else's vomit.
Posted by Phil Hill (Member # 371) on 12-30-2009, 08:46 PM:
Joey, have you ever been in a... in a Turkish prison?
Posted by Ian Parfrey (Member # 5122) on 12-31-2009, 05:25 AM:
"I did ask you not to say 'mattress, didn't I?.... Now I have to get into the fishtank and sing."
Posted by Frank Angel (Member # 248) on 12-31-2009, 03:52 PM:
My last post on this thing in 2009. HAPPY NEW YEAR, boys and girls....may 2010 bring nothing but good stuff -- peace, health, joy, and happiness to all our loved ones, not to mention a little prosperity wouldn't hurt any of us.
Posted by Jonathan Bodge (Member # 4072) on 12-31-2009, 04:48 PM:
Posting to eventually get to Sean in Newburg....
Posted by Paul Mayer (Member # 355) on 12-31-2009, 05:17 PM:
Me too - my last post to this thread this year.
I have not yet begun to procrastinate.
Posted by John Wilson (Member # 269) on 01-04-2010, 02:06 AM:
Hey, the first post here for 2010!
You see..something's going to happen here.
What...what's going to happen?
Something wonderful!
Posted by Paul Mayer (Member # 355) on 01-04-2010, 02:30 PM:
Dammit! And I was winning too...
Posted by Joe Elliott (Member # 4006) on 01-04-2010, 03:30 PM:
When some wild-eyed, eight-foot-tall maniac grabs your neck, taps the back of your favorite head up against the bar room wall, and he looks you crooked in the eye and he asks you if ya paid your dues, you just stare that big sucker right back in the eye, and you remember what ol' Jack Burton always says at a time like that:
Have ya paid your dues, Jack?
Yes sir, the check is in the mail.
Posted by Phil Hill (Member # 371) on 01-04-2010, 03:33 PM:
Don't say "Hi" to your pal Jack if you see him at an airport or on a plane.
Posted by Frank Angel (Member # 248) on 01-05-2010, 11:47 AM:
I wouln'd dance with her mother,
cause I saw her standing there.
Posted by Paul Mayer (Member # 355) on 01-05-2010, 12:32 PM:
Ho! Haha! Guard! Turn! Parry! Dodge! Spin! Thrust!
Posted by John Wilson (Member # 269) on 01-05-2010, 02:02 PM:
Boiiiing!!!
Posted by Phil Hill (Member # 371) on 01-05-2010, 02:48 PM:
I'm just wild about Saffron...
Posted by Frank Angel (Member # 248) on 01-06-2010, 12:39 PM:
Yah, but is she wild about you, Phil?
Posted by Andy Bajew (Member # 5330) on 01-06-2010, 12:44 PM:
Weather forecast for tonight: dark.
Posted by Mike Blakesley (Member # 26) on 01-06-2010, 01:06 PM:
Continued mostly dark tonight...turning to widely scattered light in the morning, man.
Posted by Phil Hill (Member # 371) on 01-06-2010, 01:50 PM:
Just for Frank...
Indian Saffron Rice Recipe:
Ingredients
1/8 teaspoon powdered saffron
2 cups boiling water, divided
2 tablespoons butter
1 cup uncooked long-grain white rice, not rinsed
1 teaspoon salt
Directions
Steep the saffron in 1/2 cup boiling water.
In a skillet that can be tightly covered, melt the butter over medium-high heat. Stir in the rice and salt. Cook, stirring constantly, until the rice begins to absorb the butter and becomes opaque, but do not brown the rice.
Quickly pour in the remaining 1 1/2 cups boiling water along with the saffron water. Cover immediately, reduce heat to low, and cook 20 minutes, or until all of the liquid is absorbed. For best results, do not remove the lid while the rice is cooking.
Posted by John Wilson (Member # 269) on 01-06-2010, 01:57 PM:
Posted by Paul Mayer (Member # 355) on 01-06-2010, 02:02 PM:
Overheard regarding the newly discovered species of "strawberry crabs":
I'd rather have a case of strawberries than a case of crabs.
Posted by Ian Parfrey (Member # 5122) on 01-06-2010, 04:47 PM:
"Winds light to variable. Coming from the East at 15 knots and out of my arse at 50"
Posted by John Wilson (Member # 269) on 01-06-2010, 04:55 PM:
"MERV! MERV! MERV!"
Posted by Jeremy Jorgenson (Member # 2989) on 01-06-2010, 08:44 PM:
quote: Phil Hill
Don't say "Hi" to your pal Jack if you see him at an airport or on a plane.
What if it's my niece Jackie?
Posted by John Wilson (Member # 269) on 01-06-2010, 08:59 PM:
Then that's OK.
Posted by Phil Hill (Member # 371) on 01-06-2010, 09:06 PM:
My longtime friend Frank Milton (now deceased) who was a MGM big-wig told me the lion in the TM was named "Jackie". He got that name cuz to control him, someone would masturbate him B4 a take...the lion, NOT Frank!
Dunno know if that was true or that he was just yanking my chain...
Posted by Paul Mayer (Member # 355) on 01-06-2010, 09:08 PM:
But then Jeremy WILL get a demonstration of the TSA's new motto:
Nobody got nothin' in no hole.
Posted by Randy Stankey (Member # 64) on 01-06-2010, 09:27 PM:
quote: Phil Hill
Dunno know if that was true or that he was just yanking my chain...
Well, SOMEBODY was gettin' his chain yanked!
Posted by Phil Hill (Member # 371) on 01-06-2010, 09:32 PM:
I don't know, Randy. BUTT frequently when I see that logo, I think about the legend...
edit: Changed "everytime" to "frequently when"
Posted by John Wilson (Member # 269) on 01-06-2010, 09:34 PM:
quote: Phil Hill
BUTT everytime I see that logo, I think about the legend...
Hmmmm....it'll never be quite the same again.
Posted by Randy Stankey (Member # 64) on 01-06-2010, 10:03 PM:
The lion roared twice, too! Must have been a happy lion!
Posted by Jeremy Jorgenson (Member # 2989) on 01-06-2010, 10:11 PM:
I wonder if they did the same thing to Bob Newhart to get a better performance for his spoof of the lion at the end of the Newhart credits?
Posted by Frank Angel (Member # 248) on 01-07-2010, 05:25 PM:
Oh thanks Jeremy....now I won't have to take my appetite suppressant.
Posted by James. R. Deeter (Member # 837) on 01-07-2010, 05:41 PM:
Just wanted to let everyone know.. "I don't work on January 8th, cause thats Elvis' birthday"
Posted by Phil Hill (Member # 371) on 01-07-2010, 07:06 PM:
Is anyone gonna pay the pizza guy, or are we all just gonna stare? Hubba Hubba!
Posted by John Wilson (Member # 269) on 01-07-2010, 07:14 PM:
No, it's hunka...hunka...hunka...
Posted by Paul Mayer (Member # 355) on 01-07-2010, 07:26 PM:
I will hug him and squeeze him and...
Posted by Phil Hill (Member # 371) on 01-07-2010, 07:36 PM:
...lick his thighs.
Posted by John Wilson (Member # 269) on 01-07-2010, 08:02 PM:
...hold him and love him...just like he wuz my very own.
Posted by Paul Mayer (Member # 355) on 01-08-2010, 11:59 AM:
Today would've been Elvis' 75th birthday. Of course now he has more gigs here than he ever did when he was alive. What a great career move dying was!
Thankyuh. Thankyuhverymuch.
Posted by Manny Knowles (Member # 1171) on 01-08-2010, 12:36 PM:
I haven't felt this bad since that Ronald Reagan film!
Posted by Paul Mayer (Member # 355) on 01-08-2010, 03:14 PM:
You said that.
Posted by Frank Angel (Member # 248) on 01-09-2010, 06:31 PM:
Oh Mary, it takes a fairy to make something beautiful.
Posted by Paul Mayer (Member # 355) on 01-10-2010, 04:40 PM:
If you want to maintain reasonable expectations of your bedmate, never watch hentai.
Posted by Mark J. Marshall (Member # 1409) on 01-10-2010, 05:13 PM:
"Would you like humming-bird cookie?"
Posted by Paul Mayer (Member # 355) on 01-11-2010, 12:36 PM:
On flying the Twin Otter:
One smooth landing is skill. Two in a row is luck. Three in a row and someone is lying.
Posted by Phil Hill (Member # 371) on 01-11-2010, 03:04 PM:
Well, as of this moment, they're on DOUBLE SECRET PROBATION!
Posted by Andy Bajew (Member # 5330) on 01-11-2010, 03:50 PM:
Walk, walk, fashion baby. Work it. I'm a freak bitch, baby.
Probably the best song to listen to in the booth.
Posted by Frank Angel (Member # 248) on 01-11-2010, 05:35 PM:
NEWS...ON THE MARCH!
Posted by Ian Parfrey (Member # 5122) on 01-11-2010, 05:57 PM:
"Spelling reaches into our everyday lives.
If you don't believe me, just look at your children's faces when Satan comes down the chimney"
Posted by Paul Mayer (Member # 355) on 01-12-2010, 01:08 PM:
In America there are two classes of travel - first class, and with children.
Posted by John Wilson (Member # 269) on 01-12-2010, 04:02 PM:
In America...there are NO cats.
Posted by Mitchell Dvoskin (Member # 751) on 01-12-2010, 04:43 PM:
Cats rule! Dog is God spelled backwards.
Posted by John Wilson (Member # 269) on 01-12-2010, 05:05 PM:
There is no Dog!
Posted by Phil Hill (Member # 371) on 01-12-2010, 05:09 PM:
You can pick your nose, you can pick your butt, and you can pick your seat at the theatre... But, ya can't pick your family.
Posted by Paul Mayer (Member # 355) on 01-12-2010, 08:33 PM:
You can tune a radio but you can't tuna fish.
Posted by John Wilson (Member # 269) on 01-12-2010, 08:41 PM:
You can lead a horse to drink, but I'd advise against getting him pickled.
Posted by Mike Blakesley (Member # 26) on 01-12-2010, 11:58 PM:
You can lead a gift horse to water, but you can't look in his mouth. --Archie Bunker
Posted by Paul Mayer (Member # 355) on 01-13-2010, 02:10 AM:
You buttered your bread - now sleep in it.
Posted by Phil Hill (Member # 371) on 01-14-2010, 06:45 PM:
Well, you know what they say about eatin' baloney, don't you?
Posted by Jason Black (Member # 684) on 01-15-2010, 02:39 AM:
DAMN.... It's been a couple weeks now and here I am, stopping it to make my random post.. and what do ya know?
Right below Phil.. AGAIN. WTF?
PS- Phil, shoot me an email... you have the address...
Posted by Frank Angel (Member # 248) on 01-15-2010, 03:05 PM:
I noticed my boss lost in thought -- obviously it wasn't familiar territory.
Posted by Paul Mayer (Member # 355) on 01-15-2010, 03:11 PM:
It's my last day - bye!
Posted by Jeremy Jorgenson (Member # 2989) on 01-15-2010, 03:15 PM:
bye
Posted by Phil Hill (Member # 371) on 01-15-2010, 04:11 PM:
quote: Jason Black
Right below Phil.. AGAIN. WTF?
Jason, you know darn well you ENJOY me on TOP of you...I SURE enjoy it! HA!
Posted by Frank Angel (Member # 248) on 01-15-2010, 06:51 PM:
I went to San Francisco and I found someone's heart. Now what?
Posted by Bruce Hansen (Member # 281) on 01-15-2010, 07:24 PM:
You can pick your friends, you can pick your nose, but you can't pick your friends nose.
Posted by Frank Angel (Member # 248) on 01-15-2010, 08:02 PM:
Save the whales -- collect a whole set.
Posted by Paul Mayer (Member # 355) on 01-16-2010, 02:39 AM:
Nuke the gay whales for Jesus!
Posted by Ian Parfrey (Member # 5122) on 01-16-2010, 02:58 AM:
Saw a can of Dolphin one day.
It had "Tuna Free" written on the lid.
Posted by Phil Hill (Member # 371) on 01-16-2010, 03:07 AM:
quote: Ian Parfrey
Saw a can of Dolphin one day.
It had "Tuna Free" written on the lid.
Ian, you really have a sick/bizarre sense of humor! Ummmm, I like that in a person!
Posted by Ian Parfrey (Member # 5122) on 01-16-2010, 03:40 AM:
Phil
Posted by Frank Angel (Member # 248) on 01-16-2010, 03:47 AM:
Mahatma Gandhi, as you know, walked barefoot most of the time, which produced an impressive set of calluses on his feet. He also ate very little, which made him rather frail and, with his odd and ends diet, he suffered from bad breath. This made him (....wait for it....) a super calloused fragile mystic hexed by halitosis.
Posted by Phil Hill (Member # 371) on 01-16-2010, 04:03 AM:
Frank, that's hilarious!
Posted by Ian Parfrey (Member # 5122) on 01-16-2010, 06:12 AM:
Frank.
Phill stole my thunder. Thats a crack up!
Posted by Frank Angel (Member # 248) on 01-16-2010, 01:18 PM:
English 101:
The bandage was wound around the wound.
Posted by Phil Hill (Member # 371) on 01-16-2010, 02:01 PM:
I thought "Peter Pan" was a film about a urinal in the men's restroom...
Posted by Frank Angel (Member # 248) on 01-16-2010, 02:26 PM:
I bet you did.
Posted by Paul Mayer (Member # 355) on 01-18-2010, 12:49 PM:
Pilot's breakfast: A coffee and a piss followed by a donut and a dump.
Posted by Ian Parfrey (Member # 5122) on 01-18-2010, 01:51 PM:
Dumpin' Donuts
Posted by Frank Angel (Member # 248) on 01-18-2010, 03:04 PM:
Give a man a match, and he is warm for only a minute.....douse a man with gasoline and light him on fire and he's warm for the rest of his life.
Posted by Ian Parfrey (Member # 5122) on 01-18-2010, 04:36 PM:
You can take a horse to water but a pencil must be lead.
Posted by Mike Blakesley (Member # 26) on 01-18-2010, 06:17 PM:
You ask yourself, how much more black can this be? And the answer is, none. None more black.
Posted by Paul Mayer (Member # 355) on 01-19-2010, 12:57 PM:
On it like white on rice.
Posted by Jeremy Jorgenson (Member # 2989) on 01-19-2010, 03:27 PM:
Summary of those that contributed to page 20
Posted by Frank Angel (Member # 248) on 01-20-2010, 12:21 PM:
And all fine fellows too!
Posted by Paul Mayer (Member # 355) on 01-20-2010, 01:59 PM:
My new brothers and sisters:
Unexalted Leader Garrote of Forgiveness
Brother Flaming Sword of Moderation
Brother Gatling Gun of Patience
Sister Hand Grenade of Love
Sister Immaculate Dagger of Peace
Brother Neutron Bomb of Serenity
Posted by Phil Hill (Member # 371) on 01-21-2010, 07:04 PM:
You have to kiss some ass to get a piece of it.
Posted by John Wilson (Member # 269) on 01-21-2010, 07:12 PM:
Birdy Num Num.
Posted by Ian Parfrey (Member # 5122) on 01-21-2010, 07:20 PM:
"You just left me one little loophole. I had to take advantage of it, doctor's orders!"
Posted by Phil Hill (Member # 371) on 01-21-2010, 07:27 PM:
quote: John Wilson
Birdy Num Num.
Let's PARTY!
Posted by Ian Parfrey (Member # 5122) on 01-21-2010, 11:52 PM:
"Howdy Partiner."
Posted by Paul Mayer (Member # 355) on 01-22-2010, 02:42 PM:
That face could stop Big Ben, a sundial, and a free digital watch.
Posted by Robert Minichino (Member # 3495) on 01-22-2010, 02:45 PM:
"Hey, gang! We're gonna wash the elephant!"
Posted by Phil Hill (Member # 371) on 01-22-2010, 03:00 PM:
"Get off of my set, and out of my picture."
Posted by Paul Mayer (Member # 355) on 01-22-2010, 03:08 PM:
I want to live the time I received, not to die it.
Stravinski
Posted by Phil Hill (Member # 371) on 01-26-2010, 04:49 PM:
There was a time when this place was full of pricks. Big, hard, arrogant pricks!
Posted by Paul Mayer (Member # 355) on 01-26-2010, 05:49 PM:
LCC flight attendant: Would you like to have some dinner?
Customer: What are my options?
LCC F/A: Yes or No
Posted by John Wilson (Member # 269) on 01-26-2010, 05:53 PM:
"Very funny...very funny. I did not hear what it was you were talking about but I can tell from the way you are all laughing uncontrollably it was quite obviously a very witty anecdote."
Posted by Paul Mayer (Member # 355) on 01-27-2010, 12:43 PM:
Explosions fix everything!
Posted by Frank Angel (Member # 248) on 01-27-2010, 04:07 PM:
Ahh, Mongo not gay.
Posted by Paul Mayer (Member # 355) on 01-27-2010, 04:14 PM:
Mongo just pawn in game of life.
Posted by Mark Ogden (Member # 43) on 01-27-2010, 05:43 PM:
Do y'all mind hanging back? You're jamming my frequencies.
(In memory of Zelda Rubenstein, 1933 - 2010)
Posted by Frank Angel (Member # 248) on 01-28-2010, 12:10 AM:
An Indian chief was feeling very sick, so he summoned the medicine man. After a brief examination, the medicine man took out a long, thin strip of elk rawhide and gave it to the chief, telling him to bite off, chew, and swallow one inch of the leather every day. After a month, the medicine man returned to see how the chief was feeling. The chief shrugged and said, "The thong is ended, but the malady lingers on."
Posted by Ian Parfrey (Member # 5122) on 01-28-2010, 04:15 AM:
"Candy-Gram for Mongo. You Mongo?.... Sign, please"
Posted by John Wilson (Member # 269) on 01-28-2010, 05:10 AM:
"Mongo like candy..."
Posted by Frank Angel (Member # 248) on 01-28-2010, 09:16 AM:
They are the common folk, the salt of the earth; you know....morons.
Posted by Paul Mayer (Member # 355) on 01-28-2010, 01:36 PM:
Horses?! We can't afford to lose any horses!
Posted by Frank Angel (Member # 248) on 01-28-2010, 02:37 PM:
How can there be self-help "groups"?
Posted by Paul Mayer (Member # 355) on 01-29-2010, 01:00 PM:
I don't like people whose minds are in the gutter. They get in the way of my periscope.
Posted by Phil Hill (Member # 371) on 01-29-2010, 06:02 PM:
There is nothing wrong with an itchy butt.
But, you're gonna have a hard time explaining why you are sniffing your fingers.
Posted by Tony Bandiera Jr (Member # 2365) on 01-29-2010, 10:58 PM:
Man who fart in church sit in own pew....
Man with itchy butt wake up with stinky finger....
Man with hands in pockets feel cocky all day...
Baseball wrong..man with four balls cannot walk....
Posted by John Wilson (Member # 269) on 01-29-2010, 11:12 PM:
quote:
Horses?! We can't afford to lose any horses!
Come on Paul...don't stop there!
Posted by Paul Mayer (Member # 355) on 01-29-2010, 11:42 PM:
John, not in this country! I'd like to live long enough to get to my next job.
Posted by Phil Hill (Member # 371) on 01-30-2010, 05:43 PM:
Lady pilot who fly upside down in airplane will have hairy crack up...
Posted by Ian Parfrey (Member # 5122) on 01-30-2010, 05:53 PM:
You spring on inner spring this spring gets off spring next spring.
Posted by Phil Hill (Member # 371) on 01-30-2010, 07:14 PM:
What the hell are Pirin tablets?
Posted by Phil Hill (Member # 371) on 01-31-2010, 03:52 AM:
I believe it was in Denmark... A little boy was born with no eyelids so his Dr. simply grafted on the left over foreskin from his circumscion. The kid could see fairly well, he was just slightly cock-eyed.
Posted by Paul Mayer (Member # 355) on 01-31-2010, 03:46 PM:
A.K.A. Colymbosathon Ecplecticos, Greek for "swimmer with large penis".
Posted by John Wilson (Member # 269) on 02-01-2010, 09:56 PM:
Posted by Phil Hill (Member # 371) on 02-01-2010, 10:28 PM:
I need 1.21 jigawatts!
Posted by Paul Mayer (Member # 355) on 02-01-2010, 11:21 PM:
I'm an electrician, but I'm taking time off to let my eyebrows grow back.
Posted by Ian Parfrey (Member # 5122) on 02-01-2010, 11:52 PM:
Licenced to kill gophers.
Posted by Paul Mayer (Member # 355) on 02-02-2010, 02:07 PM:
Percussive Maintenance Technician - BFH Certified
Posted by Phil Hill (Member # 371) on 02-04-2010, 04:25 PM:
"Plunk your magic twanger froggy!"
Posted by Paul Mayer (Member # 355) on 02-05-2010, 12:53 AM:
What is it about that frog that just creeps me out?
Posted by Phil Hill (Member # 371) on 02-05-2010, 01:33 AM:
Froggy was a character on "The Ghoul Show" that always got the worse end of all his skits.
The Ghoul Show was on Detroit TV and I faithfully watched it every week...pure CHEEEZE! He used to show "B" SciFi movies and then do some skits with various characters at the breaks.
He loved to blow things up with M-80's
Search You Tube for more of The Ghoul.
Posted by Paul Mayer (Member # 355) on 02-05-2010, 02:05 PM:
You mean this guy...
Ah, the magic of local TV.
TV: Bad radio with pictures.
Posted by Phil Hill (Member # 371) on 02-05-2010, 03:37 PM:
Yup, that's him.
Posted by Paul Mayer (Member # 355) on 02-06-2010, 02:44 PM:
There are 11 kinds of people in the world - those who understand binary and those who don't.
Posted by Phil Hill (Member # 371) on 02-06-2010, 02:53 PM:
Shouldn't that be 10?
Posted by Ian Parfrey (Member # 5122) on 02-06-2010, 03:03 PM:
DNA- "National Dyslexics Association"
Posted by Paul Mayer (Member # 355) on 02-06-2010, 09:13 PM:
DAM - Mothers Against Dyslexia
Posted by John Wilson (Member # 269) on 02-07-2010, 07:29 PM:
Hellooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo...
??
Hellooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo...
Hmmm...must be a football game on or something 'cos it's awfully quiet in here.
Posted by Brad Miller (Member # 2) on 02-07-2010, 08:54 PM:
Don't wake me, I'm sleeping.
Posted by Paul Mayer (Member # 355) on 02-07-2010, 09:04 PM:
Don't bug me man don't bug me. I'm updating the GhibliWiki page.
But I admit I have "the big game" on the TV while I'm doing this.
Posted by Frank Angel (Member # 248) on 02-08-2010, 08:16 PM:
What big game....was there a big game?
-------------
So how important does a person have to be before they are considered assassinated instead of just murdered?
Posted by Paul Mayer (Member # 355) on 02-09-2010, 12:56 PM:
Former member, International Alliance that stands by the truck, drinks coffee, and talks penalty time.
Posted by Frank Angel (Member # 248) on 02-09-2010, 11:28 PM:
Why you wouldn't want to have to learn English as your second language:
The soldier decided to desert his dessert in the desert.
Since there is no time like the present, he thought it was time to present the present.
When shot at, the dove dove into the bushes.
I had to subject the subject to a series of tests.
The insurance was invalid for the invalid.
The buck does funny things when the does are present.
To help with planting, the farmer taught his sow to sow.
After a number of injections my jaw got number.
And let's not forget that....
There is no egg in eggplant nor ham in hamburger; neither apple nor pine in pineapple and neither is there egg nor cream in eggcream. English muffins weren't invented in England or French fries in France. Sweetmeats are candies while sweetbreads, which aren't sweet, are meat.
Posted by Paul Mayer (Member # 355) on 02-10-2010, 05:03 PM:
I study the etymology of entomology.
Posted by Mark Ogden (Member # 43) on 02-10-2010, 07:04 PM:
quote: Paul Mayer
Former member, International Alliance that stands by the truck, drinks coffee, and talks penalty time.
You used to belong to I Aim To Screw Everyone? Me too!
Posted by Paul Mayer (Member # 355) on 02-10-2010, 08:26 PM:
I Am Tired of Seeking Employment
I Always Take Something Extra
I'm sure there are more...
Posted by Mike Blakesley (Member # 26) on 02-10-2010, 09:12 PM:
Also mincemeat pie has no meat in it, and there are no grapes nor nuts in Grape Nuts.
But what the hell, in 20 years there probably won't be any film in Film-Tech either.
Posted by Paul Mayer (Member # 355) on 02-10-2010, 10:38 PM:
Well, that kills that boner.
Posted by John Wilson (Member # 269) on 02-10-2010, 11:07 PM:
quote: Mike Blakesley
But what the hell, in 20 years there probably won't be any film in Film-Tech either.
It may not take that long...
Posted by Paul Mayer (Member # 355) on 02-11-2010, 01:58 PM:
CURRENT CONDITIONS: Partly distracted with a 20% chance of interest.
EXTENDED OUTLOOK: Mostly mellow with scattered humor and inspiration. Low near disheartened. Winds mainly of change. Chance of cynicism 50%. Highs in the upper adulations and lows in the mid melancholics.
Posted by Phil Hill (Member # 371) on 02-12-2010, 09:17 PM:
Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away.
Posted by Paul Mayer (Member # 355) on 02-12-2010, 10:24 PM:
No Smoking (depending on what it is)
Posted by Phil Hill (Member # 371) on 02-13-2010, 09:24 PM:
Living on reds, vitamin C and cocaine...
Posted by Randy Stankey (Member # 64) on 02-13-2010, 10:48 PM:
Well Rhonda had a house in Venice,
lived on brown rice and cocaine.
Posted by Phil Hill (Member # 371) on 02-13-2010, 11:30 PM:
Well, Rhonda you look so fine...and I know it wouldn't take much time, for you to help me Rhonda...
Posted by Adam Martin (Member # 641) on 02-14-2010, 01:30 PM:
It was never easy for me. I was born a poor black child.
Posted by Paul Mayer (Member # 355) on 02-14-2010, 01:34 PM:
Double you tee eff, over?
Posted by Ian Parfrey (Member # 5122) on 02-14-2010, 02:26 PM:
100% Sierra November Alpha Foxtrot Uniform
Posted by John Wilson (Member # 269) on 02-14-2010, 02:29 PM:
Rhonda, Lucy, Lucy, Rhonda.
Posted by Paul Mayer (Member # 355) on 02-14-2010, 02:30 PM:
Fox India Juliet Fox India
Posted by Phil Hill (Member # 371) on 02-15-2010, 06:04 PM:
YIKES, DDP! (Deleted Double Post)
Posted by Phil Hill (Member # 371) on 02-15-2010, 06:05 PM:
Truckin', like the doodah man
Posted by Jason Black (Member # 684) on 02-15-2010, 07:00 PM:
They claim that the third time is the charm...
Posted by Phil Hill (Member # 371) on 02-15-2010, 07:06 PM:
Jason, I think YOU are "charming"...
Posted by Jason Black (Member # 684) on 02-16-2010, 12:12 AM:
I know Phil.. I know... ;-0
LOL
Posted by William T. Parr (Member # 677) on 02-16-2010, 10:27 AM:
And the winner is......................................Still not me
Posted by Mike Blakesley (Member # 26) on 02-16-2010, 11:12 AM:
This thread isn't nearly as riveting as the other one was. Will we ever get to part 3?
Posted by Paul Mayer (Member # 355) on 02-16-2010, 12:16 PM:
Don't crush that dwarf, hand me the pliers!
Posted by Elia Orselli (Member # 4673) on 02-16-2010, 03:03 PM:
With a phrase like this I must win:
"Omnes populi, qui legibus et moribus reguntur, partim suo proprio, partim communi omnium hominum iure utuntur"
Gaius, Institutiones
Posted by Paul Mayer (Member # 355) on 02-16-2010, 03:23 PM:
Not necessarily.
Posted by Greg Anderson (Member # 235) on 02-16-2010, 05:11 PM:
I'm not trying to whine but it appears that the only thing you really "win" here is bragging rights. I won the "last person who posts here" part 1 contest! Yay!
Posted by John Wilson (Member # 269) on 02-16-2010, 05:13 PM:
A duck.
Posted by Alex Edwards (Member # 5413) on 02-16-2010, 05:22 PM:
A picture is worth a thousand posts
Posted by John Wilson (Member # 269) on 02-16-2010, 05:54 PM:
Is it made of wood?
Posted by Adam Martin (Member # 641) on 02-16-2010, 06:12 PM:
Bigger duck.
Posted by Mike Blakesley (Member # 26) on 02-16-2010, 06:18 PM:
"I will now read from the books...of Matthew, Mark, Luke...and duck!"
Posted by Sean McKinnon (Member # 612) on 02-16-2010, 06:43 PM:
I win! ![[fu]](graemlins/fu.gif)
Posted by Alex Edwards (Member # 5413) on 02-16-2010, 07:41 PM:
duck truck
Posted by John Wilson (Member # 269) on 02-16-2010, 08:24 PM:
quote: Adam Martin
Bigger duck.
But does it weigh the same as a witch?
Posted by Adam Martin (Member # 641) on 02-16-2010, 08:31 PM:
Leave my wife out of this.
Posted by John Wilson (Member # 269) on 02-16-2010, 08:34 PM:
Adam! DUCK!!!
Posted by Paul Mayer (Member # 355) on 02-16-2010, 10:22 PM:
You guys don't know quack.
Burn her!
Posted by Frank Angel (Member # 248) on 02-17-2010, 01:47 AM:
Via Duck?
Posted by Ian Parfrey (Member # 5122) on 02-17-2010, 02:29 AM:
Well, she turned me into a newt!
Posted by Paul Mayer (Member # 355) on 02-17-2010, 02:59 AM:
It was a fair cop.
Posted by Ian Parfrey (Member # 5122) on 02-17-2010, 04:04 AM:
I wonder where that fish has gone.
Posted by William T. Parr (Member # 677) on 02-17-2010, 09:48 AM:
My Bonnie lies over the sea.
Posted by John Wilson (Member # 269) on 02-17-2010, 01:44 PM:
Wow, she must be even bigger than that duck!
Posted by Paul Mayer (Member # 355) on 02-17-2010, 03:52 PM:
Tattoo on her thigh: "You must be at least this tall to ride this ride."
Posted by Frank Angel (Member # 248) on 02-17-2010, 08:38 PM:
He who laughs last, thinks slowest.
Posted by John Wilson (Member # 269) on 02-17-2010, 08:53 PM:
I don't get it.
Posted by Phil Hill (Member # 371) on 02-17-2010, 08:55 PM:
He who laughs...lasts.
Posted by John Wilson (Member # 269) on 02-17-2010, 08:59 PM:
He who laughs last...laughs last.
Posted by Paul Mayer (Member # 355) on 02-17-2010, 09:27 PM:
If your kid is a Yu-Gi-Oh fan, may God help you.
Posted by Frank Angel (Member # 248) on 02-17-2010, 09:49 PM:
He who lasts last....can't get voted off the island.
Posted by Phil Hill (Member # 371) on 02-17-2010, 09:50 PM:
Mustang Sally, all you wanna do is ride around Sally...Ride Sally, ride.
Posted by John Wilson (Member # 269) on 02-17-2010, 10:10 PM:
It's 'roide Sally, roide...not roide Sally, roide'!
Posted by Paul Mayer (Member # 355) on 02-18-2010, 12:11 PM:
Restraining orders are just another way of saying "I love you."
Posted by Ian Parfrey (Member # 5122) on 02-18-2010, 12:23 PM:
I still miss my ex but my aim's getting better.
Posted by Phil Hill (Member # 371) on 02-18-2010, 12:36 PM:
Ian = That's funny!
Posted by Paul Mayer (Member # 355) on 02-18-2010, 02:04 PM:
She was so cultured they could name a yogurt after her.
Posted by Phil Hill (Member # 371) on 02-18-2010, 02:25 PM:
His father's name was Ferdinand, his mother's name was Liza...so they named their son Fertilizer...
Posted by Mark Lensenmayer (Member # 134) on 02-18-2010, 02:35 PM:
This is to officially announce that I will not make a post on this thread today.
Posted by Mike Blakesley (Member # 26) on 02-18-2010, 05:19 PM:
Me either.
Posted by Paul Mayer (Member # 355) on 02-18-2010, 07:34 PM:
Hat trick.
Posted by Joe Elliott (Member # 4006) on 02-20-2010, 12:27 PM:
Mace just makes me horny.
Posted by Phil Hill (Member # 371) on 02-20-2010, 12:49 PM:
Hey, good lookin', whatcha got cookin'?
How's about cookin' somethin' up with me?
Posted by Paul Mayer (Member # 355) on 02-20-2010, 12:57 PM:
I'll put a bun in your oven...
Posted by Phil Hill (Member # 371) on 02-20-2010, 01:11 PM:
I'll put a hhot dawg in your bun...
Posted by Paul Mayer (Member # 355) on 02-20-2010, 09:43 PM:
Like a hot dog in a hallway...
Posted by Adam Martin (Member # 641) on 02-23-2010, 12:23 AM:
This APT has Super Cow Powers.
Posted by Paul Mayer (Member # 355) on 02-23-2010, 12:23 PM:
apt-get moo
Posted by Mitchell Dvoskin (Member # 751) on 02-23-2010, 12:48 PM:
Why?
Posted by Paul Mayer (Member # 355) on 02-23-2010, 02:11 PM:
Easter eggs are fun.
Posted by Mark Lensenmayer (Member # 134) on 02-23-2010, 02:57 PM:
I was going to post something here, but I forgot to do it.
Posted by John Wilson (Member # 269) on 02-23-2010, 08:38 PM:
मैं नारियल का एक गुच्छा प्यारा है ...
Posted by Mike Blakesley (Member # 26) on 02-23-2010, 08:48 PM:
I hereby retract this post.
(I guess that means I give up the win, but at this point I'm past caring.)
Posted by Paul Mayer (Member # 355) on 02-23-2010, 09:05 PM:
Planning on visiting India John?
Posted by John Wilson (Member # 269) on 02-23-2010, 09:07 PM:
Ha! No...it was for Heenan.
Posted by Paul Mayer (Member # 355) on 02-23-2010, 11:26 PM:
Oh, OK. In that case...
ヒーナンさんは外国語が大嫌いだろうなあ
Posted by James. R. Deeter (Member # 837) on 02-24-2010, 04:39 PM:
Bazinga !
Posted by Frank Angel (Member # 248) on 02-24-2010, 04:49 PM:
Bazangas....the size of cantalopes!
Posted by Paul Mayer (Member # 355) on 02-24-2010, 05:59 PM:
Jugs and orbs and darts and gourds
Elmer Fudds and bouncing Buddhas
Sweater stretchers, lung protectors
Beach umbrellas, frost detectors
Scooby Snacks and snake-eyes dice
Jell-o molds and high-beam lights
Every day I probably use
99 words for boobs
Humpty Dumplings, Hardy Boys
Double lattes, Ode to Joys
Hooters, shooters, physics tutors
Bobbsey Twins and bald commuters
Double-WMD's
MRE's and PFD's
Snow-white dwarfs, Picasso cubes
99 words for boobs
Gerber servers, holy grails
Whoopee cushions, humpback whales
Flying saucers, traffic stoppers
Super Big Gulps, Double Whoppers
Pillows, billows, Don DeLillos
Soft-serve cones and armadillos
Pimped-out hubcaps, inner tubes
99 words for boobs
Midget earmuffs, warming globes
Strobes and probes and frontal lobes
Knockers, honkers, knicker bonkers
Smurfs and Screaming Yellow Zonkers
Tannin' cannons, Mister Bigs
Big bad wolves and Porky Pigs
Jogging partners, saline noobs
99 words for boobs
Two-point jumpers, Bambi's Thumpers
Rubber baby buggy bumpers
Rutabagas, Chi Omegas
Schwag the showgirls show in Vegas
Congo bongos, bowling pins
Fast-pitch softballs, siamese twins
Your claims I'm breast-obsessed are true
We're quite a pair 'cause I'm a boob too
Posted by Robert Minichino (Member # 3495) on 02-24-2010, 07:55 PM:
Mairzy doats and dozy doats and liddle lamzy divey
A kiddley divey too, wooden shoe
Posted by John Wilson (Member # 269) on 02-24-2010, 09:09 PM:
quote: Paul Mayer
Oh, OK. In that case...
ヒーナンさんは外国語が大嫌いだろうなあ
私のホバークラフトはウナギがいっぱいです。
See?
Posted by Paul Mayer (Member # 355) on 02-25-2010, 01:16 AM:
彼女は私をイモリに変えちゃった！
Posted by William T. Parr (Member # 677) on 02-26-2010, 01:24 PM:
Orale...Vato's
Posted by John Wilson (Member # 269) on 02-26-2010, 04:33 PM:
これはもっといい！
Posted by Phil Hill (Member # 371) on 02-26-2010, 04:49 PM:
John and Paul: I know yous are just taking advantage of my stupidity since I have NFI of what yous are saying!
Yours in Christ...
Posted by Paul Mayer (Member # 355) on 02-26-2010, 08:27 PM:
Neither do I. I bow to John's awesomeness! I am not worthy...
Posted by Joe Elliott (Member # 4006) on 02-26-2010, 09:55 PM:
A Thiarna, déan trócaire
Posted by Bobby Henderson (Member # 840) on 02-26-2010, 10:53 PM:
What's with all the Kanji and Hiragana all of a sudden? It's a good thing I have Kozuka Gothic Pro installed. Otherwise I'd just see a bunch of damned squares!
Posted by Ian Parfrey (Member # 5122) on 02-27-2010, 07:16 AM:
Behold words of wisdom written in Pokemon Jurassic Amateur...
Advice is a refugee ; everyone wishes to pass it on but no one wishes to recieve it.
Posted by Paul Mayer (Member # 355) on 02-27-2010, 12:12 PM:
At least Bobby is enlightened enough to have a two-byte character set available on his machine. Me? I'm too unemployed to pay for Japanese on my machine - the two TT fonts I have are free from MS (Mincho and PGothic), as is the IME keyboard mapper, and the amazing WindowsCE word processor/E-J and J-E dictionary JWPCE.
And of course all apps these days are unicode compliant - viewing/typing in Japanese is a breeze now, compared to the bad old days of the mid-'90s when I first started playing with Japanese on PCs. No more having to repair broken characters in emails. No more choosing JIS, Shift-JIS, EUC, UTFx encoding headaches! Now if could just learn the language...
Posted by Phil Hill (Member # 371) on 02-28-2010, 02:25 AM:
Duh...
Posted by Frank Angel (Member # 248) on 02-28-2010, 04:35 AM:
Some people are like slinkies -- no really good for anything, but damn, they do bring a smile to your face when pushed down the stairs.
Posted by Paul Mayer (Member # 355) on 02-28-2010, 12:38 PM:
Frank! Love the sentiment! Another line to be added to my sig collection.
My movie's starting...
Posted by Phil Hill (Member # 371) on 03-03-2010, 01:13 PM:
Your beautiful teeth are like the stars...they come out at night.
Posted by Paul Mayer (Member # 355) on 03-03-2010, 09:02 PM:
He ain't nuthin' without his choppers!
Posted by Ian Parfrey (Member # 5122) on 03-03-2010, 10:28 PM:
JESUS SAVES
he passes to Noah
he shoots, he scores!
Posted by Phil Hill (Member # 371) on 03-04-2010, 12:38 AM:
Serenity Now
Posted by Jason Black (Member # 684) on 03-04-2010, 03:54 AM:
And once again it happens...
Posted by Paul Mayer (Member # 355) on 03-04-2010, 02:42 PM:
OK buster, what's the idea of shooting sergeants out of season?
Posted by Adam Martin (Member # 641) on 03-04-2010, 11:14 PM:
When the truth is found to be lies
And all the joy within you dies
Don't you want somebody to love?
Posted by Tony Bandiera Jr (Member # 2365) on 03-04-2010, 11:19 PM:
Captain Chaos, please report to Major Disaster.
Major Disaster, please report to General Mayhem.
Posted by John Wilson (Member # 269) on 03-04-2010, 11:24 PM:
Posted by Mike Blakesley (Member # 26) on 03-05-2010, 01:20 PM:
Weird stuff my mom used to say, #1:
"Oh, for corn sakes!"
Posted by Phil Hill (Member # 371) on 03-05-2010, 06:00 PM:
Mr. Black, you ARE soooo hhot! Hubba-Hubba! YUM!
Don't tell your wife of our secret rendezvous... YIKES! HA!
J/K ...just yankin' your chain my good friend!
I value your friendship!
Take care, bub!
Posted by Joe Elliott (Member # 4006) on 03-06-2010, 12:53 AM:
"More human than human" is our motto.
Posted by Paul Mayer (Member # 355) on 03-06-2010, 12:54 PM:
Doing a private screening of Hula Girls (2006) tonight for members of our local LV Everything Japanese Meetup group. Looking forward to it!
Posted by Phil Hill (Member # 371) on 03-06-2010, 03:39 PM:
"I got somethin' to show ya, 'Jarret'! It's long! And it's sleek! And it's powerful!!!
...It's mah new 'vette!"
Posted by Tony Bandiera Jr (Member # 2365) on 03-06-2010, 06:12 PM:
Little mid-life crisis there, Phil?
Just kidding my friend, nice car! When did you get that?
I was almost a studio exec's boy-toy back in the late 80's, wish I had done it, would have had a nice Lambo to drive.
Oh, and guys who drive big, lifted trucks are trying to compensate for shortcomings..
Posted by Jason Black (Member # 684) on 03-07-2010, 03:06 AM:
Phil -
Come take me for a ride.. in the VETTE you dirtbag... LOL...
Posted by Ian Parfrey (Member # 5122) on 03-07-2010, 04:59 AM:
Ok, so who will play Sally Field's character to Phil's Bandit?
Posted by Paul Mayer (Member # 355) on 03-07-2010, 11:58 AM:
Why, THE JEN of course!
Posted by Adam Martin (Member # 641) on 03-07-2010, 05:56 PM:
If this is the gay version of Smokey and the Bandit, THE JEN will be playing Jerry Reed.
Posted by Paul Mayer (Member # 355) on 03-09-2010, 12:26 AM:
He's more than gay, he's overjoyed.
Posted by Adam Martin (Member # 641) on 03-14-2010, 01:32 AM:
If you can't fix it with a hammer, you've got an electrical problem.
Posted by Paul Mayer (Member # 355) on 03-14-2010, 03:24 AM:
Explosions fix everything!
Posted by Frank Angel (Member # 248) on 03-14-2010, 06:35 AM:
Every good tech must become an expert troubleshooter, problem is, sometimes trouble shoots back.
Posted by Paul Mayer (Member # 355) on 03-14-2010, 03:03 PM:
If you can't beat them, join them. Then beat them.
Posted by Adam Martin (Member # 641) on 03-16-2010, 11:59 PM:
It's hip to be square.
Posted by Ian Parfrey (Member # 5122) on 03-17-2010, 04:02 AM:
I'm not gay but my boyfriend is.
Posted by Paul Mayer (Member # 355) on 03-17-2010, 04:06 AM:
I'm so bored I don't know whether to shit or wind my watch.
Posted by Tony Bandiera Jr (Member # 2365) on 03-17-2010, 02:37 PM:
Do you like gladiator movies Billy?
Posted by Paul Mayer (Member # 355) on 03-17-2010, 10:42 PM:
You ever seen a grown man naked?
Posted by Bobby Henderson (Member # 840) on 03-17-2010, 10:56 PM:
Do you like to hang out at the gym?
Posted by William T. Parr (Member # 677) on 03-18-2010, 07:09 AM:
" hey I know you. Your Kareem Abdul-Jabr. You play basketball for the Los Angeles Lakers. My dad has season tickets. I've seen you play."
Posted by Mark Lensenmayer (Member # 134) on 03-18-2010, 08:59 AM:
Operator: [Captain Oveur is on the phone with the Mayo Clinic] Excuse me, Captain Oveur, but I have an emergency call on line 5 from a Mr. Hamm.
Captain Oveur: Alright, give me a Hamm on 5, hold the Mayo.
And, don't forget.....win one for the Zipper!!
Posted by Mike Blakesley (Member # 26) on 03-18-2010, 11:21 AM:
quote: Paul Mayer
I'm so bored I don't know whether to shit or wind my watch.
...Guess I'll shit on my watch! --George Carlin
Posted by Paul Mayer (Member # 355) on 03-18-2010, 12:05 PM:
Oh bat shit!
. . . . .
Listen Betty, don't start up with your white zone shit again.
Posted by Adam Martin (Member # 641) on 03-19-2010, 08:04 PM:
There is a turd in the punch bowl. I repeat, there is a turd in the punch bowl.
Posted by John Wilson (Member # 269) on 03-19-2010, 09:16 PM:
Oh, really Vernon???
Posted by Paul Mayer (Member # 355) on 03-20-2010, 12:40 AM:
Flying a plane is no different than riding a bicycle, just a lot harder to put baseball cards in the spokes.
Posted by Mike Blakesley (Member # 26) on 03-20-2010, 04:10 PM:
And then there's "tits." That word doesn't even belong on the list! It's such a friendly word. Sounds like a nickname. "Hey, Tits, meet Toots! Toots, Tits. Tits, Toots." Or maybe a snack! I know, it is, right? But I don't mean your sexist snack...I'm talking about new, Nabisco Tits! And new Cheese Tits! Corn Tits, Rice Tits....Tater Tits! Betcha can't eat just one!
Posted by Paul Mayer (Member # 355) on 03-20-2010, 05:27 PM:
So here I am, waiting on the guy who's waiting on me, to form a brain stem.
"Pizza Pronto"? How 'bout "Pizza Sometime Fucking Next Week"!
Posted by Stu Jamieson (Member # 4626) on 03-21-2010, 07:12 AM:
So this guy goes into a talent agency and says,"Listen, I've got this great act!"............
Posted by Damien Taylor (Member # 4255) on 03-21-2010, 08:28 AM:
It's a family thing.
Posted by Adam Martin (Member # 641) on 03-21-2010, 11:12 AM:
Go-kart Mozart was checkin' out the weather chart to see if it was safe outside.
Posted by Paul Mayer (Member # 355) on 03-21-2010, 12:45 PM:
Blood! Gore! Kill the women and children first!
Posted by Joe Elliott (Member # 4006) on 03-21-2010, 01:22 PM:
How can you shoot women or children?
Easy! Ya just don't lead 'em so much! Ain't war hell?
Posted by Ian Parfrey (Member # 5122) on 03-21-2010, 01:40 PM:
"This thing has been frozen in ice for twenty million years so I figure it must be lonely"
Posted by Phil Hill (Member # 371) on 03-21-2010, 04:38 PM:
"Acting is like masturbation - one either does it or one doesn't, but one never talks about it."
Posted by Paul Mayer (Member # 355) on 03-21-2010, 08:40 PM:
The only difference between an actress and a hooker is the hooker fakes orgasm a little better.
Posted by Frank Angel (Member # 248) on 03-22-2010, 06:58 AM:
Well, there's one good thing you can say about masturbation -- you certainly don't have to look you best.
Posted by Paul Mayer (Member # 355) on 03-22-2010, 01:00 PM:
A neurotic builds castles in the sky.
A psychotic lives in them.
My new phone number: Laputa 6-5000.
3000 posts. Yatta!
Posted by Phil Hill (Member # 371) on 03-22-2010, 03:02 PM:
Those who are tardy do not get fruit cup.
Posted by Adam Martin (Member # 641) on 03-22-2010, 04:16 PM:
People like you are the reason people like me need medication.
Posted by Jeremy Jorgenson (Member # 2989) on 03-22-2010, 04:39 PM:
Please note: the format for this release is flat 1.85
Posted by Phil Hill (Member # 371) on 03-22-2010, 04:44 PM:
Adam, you brute: You Talking To Me? ...are YOU fuckin' talkin' to me?
Posted by Paul Mayer (Member # 355) on 03-22-2010, 04:51 PM:
Ward, you were awfully hard on The Beaver last night.
Posted by Bobby Henderson (Member # 840) on 03-22-2010, 05:09 PM:
Today's version of that joke: Ward, you didn't put your hard on in the beaver last night.
Posted by Paul Mayer (Member # 355) on 03-22-2010, 05:16 PM:
After Monday and Tuesday even the calendar says WTF.
Posted by John Wilson (Member # 269) on 03-22-2010, 05:26 PM:
WTF?
Posted by Jeremy Jorgenson (Member # 2989) on 03-22-2010, 05:35 PM:
Hmm mine says W R F
Posted by Adam Martin (Member # 641) on 03-22-2010, 08:16 PM:
Brad Miller, owner of Film-Tech has requested that you make sure the sound system is set at 7.0 to ensure the best presentation.
Posted by John Wilson (Member # 269) on 03-22-2010, 08:53 PM:
I play all my movies on 8.0 so they sound even bester than Brad's.
Posted by Paul Mayer (Member # 355) on 03-23-2010, 12:06 AM:
All of my amplifiers go up to 11.
Posted by Phil Hill (Member # 371) on 03-23-2010, 02:30 AM:
Mairzy doats and dozy doats and liddle lamzy divey!
Posted by Paul Mayer (Member # 355) on 03-23-2010, 04:17 AM:
'scuze me while I kiss this guy
Posted by Andy Bajew (Member # 5330) on 03-23-2010, 09:36 AM:
If you liked it then you shoulda put a ring on it
Posted by Paul Mayer (Member # 355) on 03-23-2010, 12:48 PM:
オタクはつらいよ
Otaku wa tsurai yo
It's tough being a fan! <-- Yeah yeah, bad pun. Sue me.
Posted by Mitchell Dvoskin (Member # 751) on 03-23-2010, 01:14 PM:
One.
Posted by Tony Bandiera Jr (Member # 2365) on 03-23-2010, 01:38 PM:
Two.
Posted by John Wilson (Member # 269) on 03-23-2010, 03:04 PM:
Five!
Posted by Kenneth Wuepper (Member # 1174) on 03-23-2010, 03:32 PM:
SEVEN!
Posted by Adam Martin (Member # 641) on 03-23-2010, 03:34 PM:
Forty-two.
Posted by John Wilson (Member # 269) on 03-23-2010, 03:39 PM:
It has been duly noted that neither Kenneth nor Adam are fans of Monty Python...which on Adam's part anyway is odd as he's clearly a fan of Douglas Adams.
Posted by Kenneth Wuepper (Member # 1174) on 03-23-2010, 05:36 PM:
NO!
Ansel Adams.
click!
Posted by Mike Blakesley (Member # 26) on 03-23-2010, 05:58 PM:
Da-da-da-DUM! (snap snap)
Posted by John Wilson (Member # 269) on 03-23-2010, 06:02 PM:
Da-da-da-DUM! (snap snap)
Posted by Paul Mayer (Member # 355) on 03-24-2010, 11:42 AM:
What is your favorite colour?
Posted by Jeremy Jorgenson (Member # 2989) on 03-24-2010, 01:16 PM:
Blue.
No.
Yellooooaaaarrrghhhhh!
Posted by Mike Blakesley (Member # 26) on 03-24-2010, 02:47 PM:
Da-da-da-DUM, da-da-da-DUM, da-da-da-DUM! (snap snap)
(I just had to complete the refrain)
Posted by Ian Parfrey (Member # 5122) on 03-24-2010, 02:48 PM:
I'd like two dozen double damask dinner napkins
Posted by Jeremy Jorgenson (Member # 2989) on 03-24-2010, 03:34 PM:
quote: Mike Blakesley
I just had to complete the refrain
Mike, that's just ... oh, I don't know ... creepy?
Kooky. Spooky. Ooky.
Posted by John Wilson (Member # 269) on 03-24-2010, 04:33 PM:
I'd like one ticket to Chicago...no baggage.
Posted by Mitchell Dvoskin (Member # 751) on 03-24-2010, 05:13 PM:
Your theatre seat can be used as a flotation device in the event of flooding...
Posted by Ian Parfrey (Member # 5122) on 03-24-2010, 05:37 PM:
...whereupon Cinemeccanica Vic 8's will drop from the ceiling....
Posted by Paul Mayer (Member # 355) on 03-24-2010, 05:50 PM:
You raaaaaaaaaaaaang?
Posted by Adam Martin (Member # 641) on 03-24-2010, 10:06 PM:
Confused? You won't be after this episode of "Soap".
Posted by Ian Parfrey (Member # 5122) on 03-24-2010, 10:52 PM:
I'll get you, Butler!
Posted by John Wilson (Member # 269) on 03-24-2010, 11:16 PM:
They don't like it up 'em, sir.
Posted by Ian Parfrey (Member # 5122) on 03-24-2010, 11:20 PM:
Stupid boy!
Posted by Rick Hunter (Member # 1606) on 03-24-2010, 11:22 PM:
quote: Ian Parfrey
I'd like two dozen double damask dinner napkins
eerr...napper dimkins
Posted by John Wilson (Member # 269) on 03-24-2010, 11:26 PM:
We're doomed! DOOMED!
Posted by Paul Mayer (Member # 355) on 03-25-2010, 12:22 AM:
If you're traveling with a child, or someone acting like a child, secure your own mask first, then assist your child.
If you're traveling with two children, decide now which one you love more.
Posted by Phil Hill (Member # 371) on 03-25-2010, 03:47 PM:
I've got two dollars in the jukebox,
And five dollars in a bottle,
And ten more just in case that don't do the trick!
Posted by Mitchell Dvoskin (Member # 751) on 03-25-2010, 03:54 PM:
99 bottles of beer on the wall...
Posted by Ian Parfrey (Member # 5122) on 03-25-2010, 04:56 PM:
..but I don't like frassasas.
Posted by Tony Bandiera Jr (Member # 2365) on 03-25-2010, 05:56 PM:
Did you order the Code Red?
Posted by Mike Blakesley (Member # 26) on 03-25-2010, 06:18 PM:
But Doc, I'm not a stewin' wabbit....I'm a fwicaseein' wabbit! Do you have a fwicaseein' wabbit license?
Posted by Paul Mayer (Member # 355) on 03-25-2010, 06:36 PM:
Posted by John Wilson (Member # 269) on 03-25-2010, 10:36 PM:
Let's see...altitude 24,000 ft...level flight...speed 520 knots...course: zero niner zero...trim...mixture...wash...soak...rinse...spin...
Posted by Paul Mayer (Member # 355) on 03-25-2010, 11:22 PM:
One of the few technical gaffs in that film (other than the intentional ones... wait... maybe this one was intended too) - you're not going to see anything with a "mixture" control doing 520 knots! Even true airspeed, let alone indicated. But I liked the gag anyway.
* * * * *
The four forces of flight: stall, spin, crash, burn
The four forces of rotary wing flight: twist, turn, crash, burn
Posted by John Wilson (Member # 269) on 03-25-2010, 11:28 PM:
But mix does a great job on your whites.
Posted by Paul Mayer (Member # 355) on 03-26-2010, 11:55 AM:
Slip into a Paul's Thong
Posted by Phil Hill (Member # 371) on 03-26-2010, 07:26 PM:
quote: Paul Mayer
What is your favorite colour?
It used to be GREEN until I ran outta money...NOW it's BLUE! HA!
Posted by Paul Mayer (Member # 355) on 03-26-2010, 09:55 PM:
I hear you Phil. Man do I hear you.
Posted by Ian Parfrey (Member # 5122) on 03-28-2010, 02:51 PM:
Heard this once on a flight about 9 years ago to Cairns, Australia.
Little Old Lady: "Miss, how does the pilot know where to steer the plane? Its very dark outside"
Hostess: "Well, do you see the red light on the left wing tip outside?"
Little Old lady: "Yes, I can see it".
Hostess: "...and can you see the green light on that wing tip on the right?"
Little Old Lady: "I can see that one too, yes."
Hostess: "Well, as long as the pilot keeps the plane between those two lights, we're on the right track."
She was an amazing Hostie, friendly, very efficient and had a magic way with the customers.
Posted by Adam Martin (Member # 641) on 03-28-2010, 04:56 PM:
Being vague is almost as fun as doing this other thing.
Posted by Paul Mayer (Member # 355) on 03-28-2010, 05:58 PM:
Sure of nothing, no doubt about it.
Posted by Clint Koch (Member # 1179) on 03-28-2010, 07:42 PM:
With out this gift of Rock&Roll we'd all be wasting time
J.Anderson
Posted by Mark J. Marshall (Member # 1409) on 03-28-2010, 09:27 PM:
Are you guys still here??
Geeze man.
Posted by Paul Mayer (Member # 355) on 03-28-2010, 09:55 PM:
You got a problem with that?
Posted by Joe Elliott (Member # 4006) on 03-29-2010, 12:02 PM:
If you're willing to do something stupid, I'm willing to watch.
Posted by Sam Graham (Member # 2889) on 03-29-2010, 01:16 PM:
quote: Joe Elliott
If you're willing to do something stupid, I'm willing to watch.
That sounds like something my cats would say to each other.
Posted by John Wilson (Member # 269) on 03-29-2010, 02:47 PM:
Sluggish...like a wet sponge.
Posted by Paul Mayer (Member # 355) on 03-29-2010, 07:06 PM:
This thing couldn't taxi over a wet cigarette butt.
Posted by John Wilson (Member # 269) on 03-29-2010, 07:15 PM:
Rain...and a little ice.
Posted by Paul Mayer (Member # 355) on 03-29-2010, 07:35 PM:
Shaken, not stirred.
Posted by Phil Hill (Member # 371) on 03-29-2010, 08:02 PM:
I'm stirred but NOT shaken!
Posted by Paul Mayer (Member # 355) on 03-29-2010, 08:09 PM:
I'm All Shook Up Thankya, thankyaverymuch.
Posted by John Wilson (Member # 269) on 03-29-2010, 08:31 PM:
There's a whole lot of shaking goin' on.
Posted by Ian Parfrey (Member # 5122) on 03-29-2010, 09:04 PM:
Winds, light to variable.
Posted by Mike Blakesley (Member # 26) on 03-29-2010, 10:18 PM:
If you take a look at our national weather map....yooooou'll see that we don't have one. So try to picture last night's map...in your mind.
Posted by John Wilson (Member # 269) on 03-29-2010, 10:56 PM:
Fine...72 degrees.
Posted by Ian Parfrey (Member # 5122) on 03-30-2010, 12:13 AM:
Whether the weather be fine, or whether the weather be not,
whether the weather be cold or whether the weather be hot.
We will weather the weather whatever the weather, whether we like it or not.
Whether the weather is hot or whether the weather is cold
Whether the weather is either or not, it's whether we like it or not.
Posted by Paul Mayer (Member # 355) on 03-30-2010, 01:37 AM:
Climate is what you expect, weather is what you get.
Posted by Mike Blakesley (Member # 26) on 03-30-2010, 12:01 PM:
Fine? Nobody's 'fine'....hair is fine. "How's your hair?" "Fine!"
Posted by Paul Mayer (Member # 355) on 03-30-2010, 02:21 PM:
My hair? It's not thinning, it's leaving! Pretty soon I'll have a pinhead with a little tuft on top.
Posted by Mark Ogden (Member # 43) on 03-30-2010, 02:22 PM:
Calling Doctor Howard! Doctor Fine! Doctor Howard!
Posted by Paul Mayer (Member # 355) on 03-30-2010, 03:01 PM:
My hair? It's not thinning, it's leaving!
Posted by Mike Blakesley (Member # 26) on 03-30-2010, 05:07 PM:
I wonder if, one day, I'll only have one hair. And then one day my 'hair' will fall out. --Gallagher
Posted by Paul Mayer (Member # 355) on 03-30-2010, 09:05 PM:
And then, the elephant sneezes!
Posted by Adam Martin (Member # 641) on 03-30-2010, 09:26 PM:
No disassemble!
Posted by Ian Parfrey (Member # 5122) on 03-30-2010, 11:38 PM:
Can't pull a rabbit out of a hat but I can pull a hare out of my arse.
Posted by Adam Martin (Member # 641) on 03-31-2010, 12:17 AM:
Do people in Minneapolis sometimes feel as if they know what is happening to people in Saint Paul?
Posted by Paul Mayer (Member # 355) on 03-31-2010, 12:18 AM:
Garrison Keillor on Minnesota weather:
God designed the month of March "to show people who don't drink what a hangover feels like."
Posted by Ian Parfrey (Member # 5122) on 03-31-2010, 06:54 PM:
The heads are best-brain is brain food.
Posted by Paul Mayer (Member # 355) on 03-31-2010, 08:01 PM:
Brains... Where do you get these brains?
Posted by Adam Martin (Member # 641) on 03-31-2010, 08:15 PM:
I've got the brain of a four year old. I'll bet he was glad to be rid of it.
Posted by Tony Bandiera Jr (Member # 2365) on 03-31-2010, 08:47 PM:
Adam, you pedophile!!
Posted by Paul Mayer (Member # 355) on 03-31-2010, 09:10 PM:
I've lost my mind. Such a little thing to be out on its own...
Posted by Mike Blakesley (Member # 26) on 03-31-2010, 10:16 PM:
Brains and eggs.....bleahh. I ain't bitin' on nothin' somebody's been thinkin' with. -- Bill Cosby, when he was still funny
Posted by Adam Martin (Member # 641) on 03-31-2010, 10:27 PM:
I could not, would not, in a house.
I would not, could not, with a mouse.
I would not eat them with a fox.
I would not eat them in a box.
I would not eat them here or there.
I would not eat them anywhere.
I would not eat green eggs and ham.
I do not like them, Sam-I-am.
Posted by Paul Mayer (Member # 355) on 03-31-2010, 11:17 PM:
Is it... atomic?
Posted by Adam Martin (Member # 641) on 03-31-2010, 11:23 PM:
Gentlemen, you can't fight in here! This is the War Room.
Posted by Ian Parfrey (Member # 5122) on 04-01-2010, 07:04 AM:
“Nine out of ten guys like boobs. One likes the other nine guys.”
Posted by Mitchell Dvoskin (Member # 751) on 04-01-2010, 01:36 PM:
Why ask why?
Posted by John Wilson (Member # 269) on 04-01-2010, 09:59 PM:
'Why?' you ask?
Posted by Ian Parfrey (Member # 5122) on 04-01-2010, 10:13 PM:
Why not ask "Why not?"
Posted by John Wilson (Member # 269) on 04-01-2010, 10:24 PM:
Why would you want to ask why not?
Posted by Mike Blakesley (Member # 26) on 04-01-2010, 11:11 PM:
Why would you not want to ask why not?
By the way, I think I am, therefore I am, I think.
Posted by John Wilson (Member # 269) on 04-01-2010, 11:17 PM:
Why?
Posted by Ian Parfrey (Member # 5122) on 04-02-2010, 03:10 AM:
I think therefore .....what's that strange feeling????
Posted by Joe Elliott (Member # 4006) on 04-02-2010, 03:59 AM:
I think not, so am I not?
Posted by Paul Mayer (Member # 355) on 04-02-2010, 11:59 AM:
All this thinking going on... no wonder I smell wood burning.
Posted by Mike Blakesley (Member # 26) on 04-02-2010, 08:16 PM:
Make it a stretch....make it a super stretch.
Posted by Paul Mayer (Member # 355) on 04-03-2010, 12:31 AM:
Q: How's thing fly with the engine off?
A: Glides just like a piano.
Posted by Adam Martin (Member # 641) on 04-03-2010, 03:29 PM:
Dyn-o-mite!
Posted by Ian Parfrey (Member # 5122) on 04-03-2010, 03:42 PM:
Civilization today reminds me of an ape with a blowtorch playing in a room full of dynamite.
Posted by John Wilson (Member # 269) on 04-03-2010, 03:47 PM:
"It's the CALIFORNIA DOLLS!!!!"
Posted by Phil Hill (Member # 371) on 04-03-2010, 04:19 PM:
Hey Jet Boy, "It's the NEW YORK DOLLS!!!!"
Posted by Clint Koch (Member # 1179) on 04-03-2010, 05:04 PM:
When your a Jet
Posted by Paul Mayer (Member # 355) on 04-03-2010, 05:48 PM:
You're a jet all the way
Posted by Phil Hill (Member # 371) on 04-03-2010, 05:52 PM:
Well, when I was a teen, I wouldn't kick Mick Jagger out of my bed, but uh, I'm not a homosexual
Posted by Paul Mayer (Member # 355) on 04-03-2010, 10:11 PM:
You couldn't fool your own mother on the foolingest day of your life with an electrified fooling machine!
Posted by Adam Martin (Member # 641) on 04-04-2010, 02:08 PM:
It's very important that this goes off without a hitch. Now everybody synchronize your watches. It's two-ish.
Posted by John Wilson (Member # 269) on 04-04-2010, 06:22 PM:
Posted by Paul Mayer (Member # 355) on 04-04-2010, 07:53 PM:
Good evening.
Posted by Mike Blakesley (Member # 26) on 04-04-2010, 09:15 PM:
Tonight's story is about...a chicken heart. A chicken heart that ate...New York City.
Posted by Paul Mayer (Member # 355) on 04-04-2010, 10:43 PM:
Brick by delicious brick.
Posted by Phil Hill (Member # 371) on 04-05-2010, 11:00 PM:
I think "Love Thy Neighbor" is a good philosophy... My neighbor is a cute 19 y/o guy...
Posted by Paul Mayer (Member # 355) on 04-05-2010, 11:21 PM:
Love your enemies and drive them nuts!
The late great Brother Dave Gardner
Posted by John Wilson (Member # 269) on 04-06-2010, 01:52 AM:
Oh, I've got one for ya'.
What?
Frog.
Why??
Because you're always hoppin' around! And you're kinda cute like a frog...and...I'd like to jump ya'.
Posted by Paul Mayer (Member # 355) on 04-06-2010, 03:17 AM:
Is a frog's ass watertight?
Posted by Mike Blakesley (Member # 26) on 04-06-2010, 09:26 AM:
I'm gonna bah-be-cue yo ass in molasses!!
Posted by Paul Mayer (Member # 355) on 04-06-2010, 11:35 AM:
Times are tough. I had to sell my tools. That's tough when you're a brain surgeon!
Posted by Ian Parfrey (Member # 5122) on 04-06-2010, 04:44 PM:
I've been told that women get turned on by sugar...
..so if they use Nutra-Sweet, does that mean they're faking it?
Posted by Paul Mayer (Member # 355) on 04-06-2010, 05:40 PM:
I've learned that you cannot make someone love you.
All you can do is stalk them and hope they panic and give in.
Posted by John Wilson (Member # 269) on 04-06-2010, 07:34 PM:
Now...lady in a wedding gown...
Yes sir?
Get in a car?
Yes sir...
See who drivin'?
No sir...
License plates?
Yes sir...er, Georgia plates...er...BAN-ONE...er...B-A-N-d-d-dash, O-N-E.
Fine, now you boys just stay here and keep your hands on the car until one of my associates arrives...might be some vandals around who wanna steal something, so you boys just stay here and keep your hands on the car...and don't go home...don't go to eat...and don't play with yourselves...wouldn't look nice on the highway. Oh, you can think about it, but don't do it.
Posted by Gracia L. Babbidge (Member # 582) on 04-07-2010, 12:28 AM:
One day a friend who at the time was working at a day program for mentally challenged folk, was venting to me...
There are times when I'd like to look at one of 'em and say "I know you're retarded, but you're not stupid!"
Posted by Ian Parfrey (Member # 5122) on 04-07-2010, 12:51 AM:
If there's one thing I've learned walking these city streets, it's that even rats have a use....
....and I don't mean hot dog ingredients, either.
Posted by Phil Hill (Member # 371) on 04-07-2010, 04:05 AM:
...he may have rotting food somewhere underneath his bed.
Posted by Ian Parfrey (Member # 5122) on 04-07-2010, 04:39 AM:
I may look like me but that's just a coincidence.
Posted by Phil Hill (Member # 371) on 04-07-2010, 05:13 AM:
You take the fun out of dysfunctional.
Posted by John Wilson (Member # 269) on 04-07-2010, 05:17 AM:
Wild thing...you make my heart sing.
Posted by Paul Mayer (Member # 355) on 04-07-2010, 11:45 AM:
I put the fun in dysfunctional.
Posted by Joe Elliott (Member # 4006) on 04-07-2010, 12:38 PM:
You can't have Manslaughter without the laughter.
Posted by Paul Mayer (Member # 355) on 04-07-2010, 02:18 PM:
So I fired a couple of warning shots... into his head.
Posted by Ian Parfrey (Member # 5122) on 04-07-2010, 03:29 PM:
DNA - National Dyslexics Association.
Posted by Phil Hill (Member # 371) on 04-07-2010, 03:36 PM:
Cowabunga!
Posted by Paul Mayer (Member # 355) on 04-07-2010, 04:32 PM:
Dude!
Posted by Jeremy Jorgenson (Member # 2989) on 04-07-2010, 05:27 PM:
Dr Pepper
Est. 1885
Posted by Ian Parfrey (Member # 5122) on 04-07-2010, 05:31 PM:
Eastman: "So how wide do you want this film?"
Edison: "About THIS wide."
Posted by Paul Mayer (Member # 355) on 04-07-2010, 08:01 PM:
Don't ask me how my day went. It was unreel all day long.
Posted by Phil Hill (Member # 371) on 04-07-2010, 11:26 PM:
Some people are extroverts, some people are introverts, and some people are perverts.
Posted by John Wilson (Member # 269) on 04-08-2010, 04:09 AM:
Johnny, what can you make of this?
Posted by Phil Hill (Member # 371) on 04-08-2010, 11:45 AM:
I can make a hat, or a brooch, or a pterodactyl.
Posted by Ian Parfrey (Member # 5122) on 04-08-2010, 06:20 PM:
Went to a psychic the other day- she was very good.
I suppose you could say she was an above average medium.
Posted by Paul Mayer (Member # 355) on 04-08-2010, 07:48 PM:
Be wary of strong drink - it will make you shoot at tax collectors... and miss!
"The Notebooks of Lazarus Long", Robert Heinlein
Posted by Phil Hill (Member # 371) on 04-08-2010, 08:40 PM:
I'm a scientist, I don't believe in anything...
Posted by Paul Mayer (Member # 355) on 04-08-2010, 09:42 PM:
I believe I'll have another drink.
Posted by Phil Hill (Member # 371) on 04-08-2010, 10:01 PM:
Dinner was delicious, honey. Keep cooking like that and I won't even be able to move, let alone do science.
Posted by John Wilson (Member # 269) on 04-08-2010, 10:16 PM:
We'll always have Paris.
Posted by Phil Hill (Member # 371) on 04-08-2010, 10:25 PM:
Looks like a perfect day for hunting space rocks, wouldn't you say Betty?
Posted by Paul Mayer (Member # 355) on 04-08-2010, 10:41 PM:
She blinded me... with science!
Posted by Paul Mayer (Member # 355) on 04-08-2010, 11:08 PM:
She blinded me with science.
Posted by John Wilson (Member # 269) on 04-09-2010, 04:03 AM:
I've sentenced boys younger than you to the gas chamber...
Posted by Ian Parfrey (Member # 5122) on 04-09-2010, 04:26 AM:
I feel more like I do now than I did when I got here.
Posted by Mike Blakesley (Member # 26) on 04-09-2010, 11:24 AM:
"I used to smoke marijuana. But I'll tell you something: I would only smoke it in the late evening. Oh, occasionally the early evening, but usually the late evening, or the mid-evening. Just the early evening, midevening and late evening. Occasionally, early afternoon, early mid-afternoon, or perhaps the late, mid-afternoon. Oh, sometimes the early-mid-late-early morning. But never at dusk!"
Posted by Paul Mayer (Member # 355) on 04-09-2010, 11:45 AM:
どこか四時二十分だ！
Dokoka yoji nijuppun da!
Posted by Mike Blakesley (Member # 26) on 04-09-2010, 02:13 PM:
Domo arigato, Mr. Roboto.
Posted by Victor Liorentas (Member # 5272) on 04-09-2010, 04:50 PM:
What is the toughest thing about making a film? Putting in the little holes. The sprocket holes are the hardest thing to make. Everything else is easy, but all night you have to sit with that little puncher and make the holes on the side of the film. You could faint from that work. The rest is easy: the script is easy, the acting is easy, the directing is a breeze...but the sprockets will tear your heart out.
--- Mel Brooks, comedian, writer, film director.
Posted by John Wilson (Member # 269) on 04-09-2010, 09:46 PM:
Work, work, work, work, work, work...Hello boys! Have a good night's rest? I missed you!
--- Mel Brooks, comedian, writer, film director.
Posted by Paul Mayer (Member # 355) on 04-09-2010, 10:34 PM:
That woman will never drown.
Posted by Adam Martin (Member # 641) on 04-11-2010, 05:54 PM:
That's right. That's right. We bad.
Posted by John Wilson (Member # 269) on 04-11-2010, 07:26 PM:
But personally, I prefer fooking. You know...poonkta, poonkta, poonkta!
Posted by Paul Mayer (Member # 355) on 04-12-2010, 10:05 PM:
Ponyo! Ponyo! Ponyo!
Posted by Adam Martin (Member # 641) on 04-12-2010, 11:03 PM:
Marsha! Marsha! Marsha!
Posted by John Wilson (Member # 269) on 04-12-2010, 11:28 PM:
Lilly, Lilly, Lilly!
Posted by Ian Parfrey (Member # 5122) on 04-12-2010, 11:57 PM:
Judy, Judy, Judy!
Posted by Adam Martin (Member # 641) on 04-13-2010, 12:39 AM:
Bird, bird, bird, b-bird's the word.
Posted by Paul Mayer (Member # 355) on 04-13-2010, 03:23 AM:
Ma Na Ma Na
Posted by Phil Hill (Member # 371) on 04-13-2010, 08:32 AM:
Badger Badger Badger
Posted by Paul Mayer (Member # 355) on 04-13-2010, 03:31 PM:
Pain is weakness leaving the body!
Posted by Joe Elliott (Member # 4006) on 04-14-2010, 01:19 AM:
Hamster, hamster, hamster
Sorry, you reminded my of that darn song, so now everyone gets to enjoy.
Remember one of the internets original MEMEs?
Posted by Ian Parfrey (Member # 5122) on 04-14-2010, 02:38 AM:
I'll see your Hamster, Hamster, Hamster
and raise you ---> Up Butt. Coconut
Posted by Paul Mayer (Member # 355) on 04-14-2010, 11:30 AM:
Greetings from the Land of the Twice-Kissed Ass.
Posted by Adam Martin (Member # 641) on 04-17-2010, 11:18 AM:
I've got it bad, got it bad, got it bad. I'm hot for teacher.
Posted by Phil Hill (Member # 371) on 04-18-2010, 08:03 AM:
Don't waste your time on someone who isn't willing to waste their time on you.
Posted by Paul Mayer (Member # 355) on 04-18-2010, 12:22 PM:
Trust me... Turbulence and jelly doughnuts don't mix.
Posted by Mike Blakesley (Member # 26) on 04-18-2010, 12:31 PM:
Please ring doorbell and run...the dog needs the exercise.
Posted by Phil Hill (Member # 371) on 04-18-2010, 03:55 PM:
I Got It Bad (And That Ain't Good)
Posted by Paul Mayer (Member # 355) on 04-18-2010, 10:57 PM:
If YOU don't talk to your cat about catnip, who will?
Posted by Joe Elliott (Member # 4006) on 04-19-2010, 11:12 AM:
Ask me about microwaving cats for fun and profit!!
Posted by Paul Mayer (Member # 355) on 04-19-2010, 06:00 PM:
There is no snooze button on a cat that wants breakfast.
Posted by Mike Blakesley (Member # 26) on 04-19-2010, 08:46 PM:
I found out last week that my cat was embezzling from me. He'd go out to the mailbox, pick up the checks, take'em down to the bank and cash'em....disguised AS ME... and I never would have found out, except one night, I was down in the basement where he sleeps... and there's about three million dollars worth of cat toys down there. So now I'M stuck with three million dollars worth of cat toys!! Oh sure -- they're fun....
Posted by Paul Mayer (Member # 355) on 04-20-2010, 11:54 AM:
I Feel Good!
Posted by Adam Martin (Member # 641) on 04-21-2010, 08:56 PM:
Film-Tech is taped before a live studio audience.
Posted by Paul Mayer (Member # 355) on 04-21-2010, 09:33 PM:
Put black on the line.
Roll tape!
"A's away and locked."
"B's away and locked."
Standby slate
Up on 2.
Slate it!
"This is 'Film-Tech' for Wednesday 21 April 2010"
In black and in ten.
Roll C!
Put C up.
"In three, two, one..."
We're in the open...
Stand by announce
Stand by fly to 2
Stand by to cue the so-called talent
And... announce!
Ready to fly 2...
"Ladies and gentlemen..."
Cue his ass! Fly to 2!
"...Phil Hill!"
Ready 4 on a dissolve...
Dissolve 4!
Ready 2 on a dissolve and push...
Dissolve 2!
Two, push to the knees please
OK, hose 'em down. Where'd we get this audience, traffic court?
Home base everyone!
Only 55 more minutes of this shit...
Oops, sorry. Practicing for my first TV directing gig in about 12 years.
Posted by John Wilson (Member # 269) on 04-21-2010, 09:45 PM:
Are you a smoker?
Posted by Paul Mayer (Member # 355) on 04-21-2010, 09:55 PM:
#REDIRECT[[]]
Posted by Clint Koch (Member # 1179) on 04-22-2010, 04:02 PM:
Aaannndd CUT
Posted by Tony Bandiera Jr (Member # 2365) on 04-22-2010, 04:19 PM:
I would say print it but some rat bastard is using videotape..
Posted by Paul Mayer (Member # 355) on 04-22-2010, 09:13 PM:
"Film-Tech" uses the latest in non-linear editing workflows - we're all disc- or solid-state-based memory here, on both Avid and FCP workstations (we're doing some evaluations). Tape? We don't need no steenking tape!
I need a new drug...
Posted by Joe Elliott (Member # 4006) on 04-23-2010, 03:25 AM:
The universe is sold by weight, not by volume. Some settling of contents may have occurred during shipment.
Posted by William T. Parr (Member # 677) on 04-23-2010, 07:44 AM:
Nice
Posted by Ian Parfrey (Member # 5122) on 04-23-2010, 09:51 AM:
Objects in mirror are older than they appear.
Posted by Joe Elliott (Member # 4006) on 04-23-2010, 10:08 AM:
This life is a test . . .
It is only a test . . .
Had this been an actual life, you would have received further instructions as to where to go and what to do.
Posted by Paul Mayer (Member # 355) on 04-23-2010, 12:00 PM:
Life is like eating a shit sandwich - the more bread ya got, the less shit ya gotta eat.
Posted by Adam Martin (Member # 641) on 04-24-2010, 07:46 PM:
Hello darkness, my old friend.
Posted by Phil Hill (Member # 371) on 04-24-2010, 09:32 PM:
quote: Paul Mayer
Stand by to cue the so-called talent "...Phil Hill!"
Hahahahha Paul, too funny! Thanks for the laff, bub!
Posted by Paul Mayer (Member # 355) on 04-25-2010, 01:42 AM:
Glad you took it in the way it was meant Phil. I can't always count on that with some people these days.
Just took my drug test today for a new gig that will mostly be in SoCal. May be able to pay a visit to the gray house in a few weeks. Or at least lunch/dinner at Pinks or something... ![[Cool]](cool.gif)
Posted by Adam Martin (Member # 641) on 04-26-2010, 09:26 PM:
I ain't 'fraid o' no ghosts.
Posted by John Wilson (Member # 269) on 04-26-2010, 09:41 PM:
Everything would have been fine if the power grid hadn't been turned off by Dickless here.
THEY CAUSED AN EXPLOSION!
Is this true?
Yes, it's true. This man has no dick.
l
l
l
l
l
l
l
l
l
Posted by Mike Blakesley (Member # 26) on 04-27-2010, 01:23 PM:
It wasn't my fault...I ran outta gas! I had a flat tire! I didn't have enough money for cab fare! My tux didn't come back from the cleaners! An old friend came in from outta town! Someone stole my car! There was an earthquake! A terrible flood! Locusts!! It wasn't my fault, I swear to God!!!
Posted by William T. Parr (Member # 677) on 04-27-2010, 01:55 PM:
Chingado
Posted by Ian Parfrey (Member # 5122) on 04-27-2010, 02:25 PM:
I'm breakin' my back doin' the best that I can
She's got time for the dog and none for her man
And I'm no dope, but I can't cope
So hit the ![[sex]](graemlins/sex.gif)
ing road and piss up a rope
Posted by Paul Mayer (Member # 355) on 04-28-2010, 10:29 AM:
I have not loved the world, nor the world me;
I have not flatter'd its rank breath, nor bow'd
To its idolatries a patient knee.
Posted by Aaron Garman (Member # 1653) on 04-29-2010, 12:02 AM:
Here lies the body of Mary Lee
Who died at the age of 103
For 15 years she kept her virginity
Not a bad record for this vicinity
Posted by Ian Parfrey (Member # 5122) on 04-29-2010, 02:26 AM:
Listen to this
It's too good to miss
Ta da da da da da dah !
Posted by Joe Elliott (Member # 4006) on 04-29-2010, 03:41 AM:
Laughter is the best medicine. But morphine is a close second.
Robert Schimmel
Posted by Robert John Jeromson (Member # 2559) on 04-29-2010, 03:48 AM:
quote: Joe Elliott
Laughter is the best medicine
Unless your suffering from severe bronchitis I guess?
Posted by Paul Mayer (Member # 355) on 04-29-2010, 12:18 PM:
Booze is the answer
Posted by Mitchell Dvoskin (Member # 751) on 04-29-2010, 12:25 PM:
> Booze is the answer
Alcohol kills germs, so when you are sick you should drink as much alcohol as possible. My initials are MD, so I am qualified to recommend this...
Posted by Ian Parfrey (Member # 5122) on 04-29-2010, 01:59 PM:
Just how long IS that piece of string?
Posted by Joe Elliott (Member # 4006) on 04-29-2010, 02:02 PM:
What this thread needs is . . . MORE COWBELL!!!
Posted by Paul Mayer (Member # 355) on 04-29-2010, 02:50 PM:
Cow. Mmmmmmmm. Costco has some good prices on filets right now and the patio grill is just sitting there staring at us...
Posted by Phil Hill (Member # 371) on 04-29-2010, 04:09 PM:
Remember how I found you there,
Alone in your electric chair.
I told you dirty jokes until you smiled.
You were lonely for a man,
I said take me as I am...
Posted by Mitchell Dvoskin (Member # 751) on 04-29-2010, 04:49 PM:
The last person who posts here
Posted by Robert Minichino (Member # 3495) on 04-29-2010, 04:56 PM:
here
Posted by Ian Parfrey (Member # 5122) on 04-29-2010, 05:12 PM:
Say man, what is that funlky smell,
And that brown thing coming out of that dog's tail?
Smells worse than the US senate
The guy in front of me, he just stepped in it
Well it's dog ![[bs]](graemlins/bs.gif)
here, dog there
God dang dog everywhere
Got the Amsterdam dog blues
Posted by Paul Mayer (Member # 355) on 04-29-2010, 10:54 PM:
All of the knights sat around the square table flinging camel
Now congress flings bull
But back then bull hadn't been invented
When in came David
"Ho" cried David
"Ho who?" said the king
"Asshole!" cried David
"For that you shall be punished," said the king
"You shall spend the next 14 days in our deepest darkest dankest dampest dungeon"
"Fed on nothing but water and Exlax"
"But I shall die!" cried David
"No, but you shall " said the king
And he did for in those days the king's word was law
Fourteen days later the king called David forth
But David slipped on a pile of and came in fifth
Enraged, David picked up the pile of and threw it at random
But Random ducked and it hit the king
" !" screamed the king
2000 royal asses strained
"Where's the queen?" cried the king
"She's in bed with laryngitis" (dirty Bohemian bastard)
"Screw the queen and screw Laryngitis too!"
2000 slaves were trampled in the rush
The queen got screwed and Laryngitis got his balls wound off
And they all lived happily ever after.
Posted by Mitchell Dvoskin (Member # 751) on 04-30-2010, 12:00 PM:
Some people use statistics like a drunk uses a lamppost, for support rather than illumination.
Posted by Randy Stankey (Member # 64) on 04-30-2010, 12:32 PM:
47% of all statistics are made up on the spot.
Posted by Jeremy Jorgenson (Member # 2989) on 04-30-2010, 01:15 PM:
That's just like... your opinion, man.
Posted by Paul Mayer (Member # 355) on 04-30-2010, 02:03 PM:
And everyone has a right to my opinion.
Posted by Joe Elliott (Member # 4006) on 05-02-2010, 01:48 AM:
If I wanted your opinion, I'd remove the duct tape.
Posted by Ian Parfrey (Member # 5122) on 05-02-2010, 02:01 AM:
Gaffa Tape - Shutting bitches up since 1942
Posted by Paul Mayer (Member # 355) on 05-02-2010, 02:05 AM:
When I want your opinion I'll give you one of mine.
Posted by Randy Stankey (Member # 64) on 05-02-2010, 09:10 AM:
If I want any shit out of you I'll squeeze your head!
Posted by Mitchell Dvoskin (Member # 751) on 05-03-2010, 12:28 PM:
A Smith and Wesson beats four aces.
Posted by Joe Elliott (Member # 4006) on 05-03-2010, 12:58 PM:
Violence doesn't solve anything. I got it wrong on purpose.
Posted by Ian Parfrey (Member # 5122) on 05-03-2010, 03:06 PM:
hate to advocate drugs, alcohol, violence, or insanity to anyone, but they've always worked for me.
Posted by Joe Elliott (Member # 4006) on 05-03-2010, 03:26 PM:
That's what I get for posting tired. The saying is:
I know violence doesn't solve anything, I got it wrong on purpose.
BTW: love the gaffa tape one Ian!!!
Posted by Phil Hill (Member # 371) on 05-03-2010, 03:43 PM:
You put your right foot in,
You put your right foot out...
Posted by Robert D Hall (Member # 5674) on 05-03-2010, 03:51 PM:
Man who stands on toilet is high on pot.
Posted by Phil Hill (Member # 371) on 05-03-2010, 06:11 PM:
His veins, his feet, his hands, his organs vould all have to be increased in size... He vould have an enormous schwanzstucker.
Posted by Mike Blakesley (Member # 26) on 05-03-2010, 07:23 PM:
Igor, would you give me a hand with these bags?
Sure....you take the blonde, and I'll take the one in the 'toiban.'
Posted by Clint Koch (Member # 1179) on 05-03-2010, 09:28 PM:
Aaannnddd CUT! That's a wrap!
Posted by Ian Parfrey (Member # 5122) on 05-03-2010, 09:48 PM:
He vould have an enormous schwanzstucker.
Stand back, please. There is nothing to see here
Posted by Paul Mayer (Member # 355) on 05-03-2010, 10:58 PM:
Wow, what knockers!
Posted by Ian Parfrey (Member # 5122) on 05-03-2010, 11:00 PM:
Yes, and there's a nice polished knob as well.
Posted by Mike Blakesley (Member # 26) on 05-04-2010, 12:19 AM:
Non!
Posted by John Wilson (Member # 269) on 05-04-2010, 12:30 AM:
May The 4th Be With You...
Posted by Ian Parfrey (Member # 5122) on 05-04-2010, 01:12 AM:
There are two groups of people in the world; those who believe that the world can be divided into two groups of people, and those who don't.
Posted by Adam Martin (Member # 641) on 05-04-2010, 01:15 AM:
There are three kinds of people in the world: those who can count and those who can't.
Posted by Mike Blakesley (Member # 26) on 05-04-2010, 01:28 AM:
Why do dogs start barking for no reason? It's like they go outside at night, look around and say "Hmmmm....it's pretty quiet...think I'll bark it up a bit! ARFF ARRFFF ARRFF"
What if people did that? What if you just went outside at night and started going "Hey! Hey! Hey! HEY! HEY! HEY! HEY!"
Posted by Paul Mayer (Member # 355) on 05-04-2010, 01:43 AM:
Mark! Mark! MarkMarkMark!
Dog with a hairlip
Posted by Ian Parfrey (Member # 5122) on 05-04-2010, 02:11 AM:
Cat Theorem:
A cat has nine tails.
Proof:
No cat has eight tails. A cat has one tail more than no cat. Therefore, a cat has nine tails.
Posted by Mitchell Dvoskin (Member # 751) on 05-04-2010, 02:43 PM:
Man will occasionally stumble over the truth but most of the time he will pick himself up and continue on.
Posted by Tony Bandiera Jr (Member # 2365) on 05-04-2010, 02:59 PM:
95% of all guys admit they masturbate and 5% are liars.
Posted by Phil Hill (Member # 371) on 05-04-2010, 04:31 PM:
I think you got that back asswards, Tony.
5% of guys admit they masturbate and 95% are liars.
Posted by Tony Bandiera Jr (Member # 2365) on 05-04-2010, 05:06 PM:
Not surprising I have a lot on my mind right now...and not good thoughts
Posted by Ian Parfrey (Member # 5122) on 05-04-2010, 05:47 PM:
"The number you have dialed is imaginary. Please rotate your phone 90 degrees and try again."
Posted by Paul Mayer (Member # 355) on 05-05-2010, 10:27 AM:
It could be that the only purpose of your life is to serve as a warning to others.
Posted by Joe Elliott (Member # 4006) on 05-05-2010, 11:25 AM:
Quidquid latine dictum sit altum sonatur.
Whatever is said in Latin sounds profound.
Posted by Mitchell Dvoskin (Member # 751) on 05-05-2010, 05:11 PM:
Never argue with a fool. People might not know the difference.
Posted by Ian Parfrey (Member # 5122) on 05-05-2010, 05:23 PM:
Math problems? Call 1-800-[(10x)(13i)2]-[sin(xy)/2.362x].
Posted by Paul Mayer (Member # 355) on 05-05-2010, 06:33 PM:
Math was my worstest subject.
Posted by Mitchell Dvoskin (Member # 751) on 05-06-2010, 12:56 PM:
1) You can't win.
2) You can't break even.
3) You can't even quit the game.
Posted by Paul Mayer (Member # 355) on 05-06-2010, 01:33 PM:
Of course you can quit the game. Happens here about twice a day, every day.
Posted by Joe Elliott (Member # 4006) on 05-06-2010, 01:39 PM:
The wise man listens while the fool speaks.
Posted by Paul Mayer (Member # 355) on 05-07-2010, 10:19 AM:
Some people learn by reading.
Other people learn by watching.
And some people just have to piss on the electric fence.
Posted by Mitchell Dvoskin (Member # 751) on 05-07-2010, 03:17 PM:
Friends may come and go, but enemies tend to accumulate.
Posted by Ian Parfrey (Member # 5122) on 05-07-2010, 08:48 PM:
With friends like him, who needs enemas?
Posted by Randy Stankey (Member # 64) on 05-07-2010, 08:51 PM:
But if you're going to try to give me an enema, you'd better bring a lot of friends!
Posted by Ian Parfrey (Member # 5122) on 05-07-2010, 08:56 PM:
Don't worry- it won't hurt a bit
Posted by Paul Mayer (Member # 355) on 05-07-2010, 11:37 PM:
Open up and say 'ah'.
Posted by Joe Elliott (Member # 4006) on 05-08-2010, 01:13 AM:
You can lead a horse to water, but if you can get him to do the backstroke, you've got something.
Posted by Ian Parfrey (Member # 5122) on 05-08-2010, 01:53 AM:
Take these down, Miss Jones.
Posted by Paul Mayer (Member # 355) on 05-08-2010, 10:45 AM:
Lackey! Take an edict!
Posted by Adam Martin (Member # 641) on 05-08-2010, 12:51 PM:
You're so vain, you probably think this post is about you.
Posted by Paul Mayer (Member # 355) on 05-08-2010, 01:15 PM:
I'm ready for my closeup Mr. DeMille.
Posted by Jeremy Jorgenson (Member # 2989) on 05-08-2010, 02:01 PM:
Posted by Randy Stankey (Member # 64) on 05-08-2010, 02:02 PM:
There ain't no Coupe de Ville hiding at the bottom of a Cracker Jack box.
Posted by Mitchell Dvoskin (Member # 751) on 05-09-2010, 11:13 AM:
The man who can smile when things go wrong has thought of someone he can blame it on.
Posted by Joe Elliott (Member # 4006) on 05-09-2010, 12:17 PM:
All I want is less to do, more time to do it, and higher pay for not getting it done.
Posted by Damien Taylor (Member # 4255) on 05-09-2010, 12:28 PM:
Once a story's told, it can't help but grow old.
Posted by Phil Hill (Member # 371) on 05-09-2010, 03:23 PM:
Nice Guys Don't Stay For Breakfast...
Posted by Paul Mayer (Member # 355) on 05-09-2010, 04:19 PM:
Remember my name - you'll be screaming it later.
Posted by Phil Hill (Member # 371) on 05-10-2010, 02:41 PM:
If you see your good friend Jack when flying, do not say "hi" to him...
Posted by Paul Mayer (Member # 355) on 05-11-2010, 07:40 AM:
Don't know anyone named "Jack" at the moment, so I can say "hi" from Omaha today. Flew for the first time on a regional jet yesterday through SLC to OMA. Going back to LAS today.
Posted by Bobby Henderson (Member # 840) on 05-11-2010, 08:43 AM:
Funny car bumper sticker: "Honk if you love Jesus. Text if you want to meet him now."
Posted by Mitchell Dvoskin (Member # 751) on 05-11-2010, 11:54 AM:
Never appeal to a mans "better nature". He may not have one.
Invoking his self-interest gives you more leverage.
Posted by Damien Taylor (Member # 4255) on 05-11-2010, 11:56 AM:
A pizza with the radius z and thickness a has the volume pi*z*z*a
Posted by Paul Mayer (Member # 355) on 05-12-2010, 10:53 AM:
Never trust a man with a clean workshop.
Posted by Bobby Henderson (Member # 840) on 05-12-2010, 11:22 AM:
A clean desk is a sign of a sick mind.
Posted by Paul Mayer (Member # 355) on 05-12-2010, 05:57 PM:
Never trust a skinny chef.
Posted by Tony Bandiera Jr (Member # 2365) on 05-12-2010, 09:15 PM:
Or a fat fitness coach.
Posted by Paul Mayer (Member # 355) on 05-12-2010, 09:39 PM:
Systems Analysis: finding the right wrench to pound in the correct screw.
Posted by Joe Elliott (Member # 4006) on 05-13-2010, 03:54 AM:
Many computer problems are PEBCAC problems.
P-roblem
E-xists
B-etween
C-omputer
A-nd
C-hair
Posted by Ian Parfrey (Member # 5122) on 05-13-2010, 04:25 AM:
If you want to get something done quickly, give it to a busy person.
Posted by Paul Mayer (Member # 355) on 05-13-2010, 10:56 AM:
Why, most people learn after just one or two maulings.
Florence Ambrose
Posted by Bobby Henderson (Member # 840) on 05-13-2010, 12:33 PM:
Tiger's Revenge by Claude Balls
Posted by Tony Bandiera Jr (Member # 2365) on 05-13-2010, 12:54 PM:
Race car driver Dick Trickle.
Cruel, cruel parents.
Posted by Mike Blakesley (Member # 26) on 05-13-2010, 01:18 PM:
Happiness is nature's way of telling you you're overpaid. -- Dogbert
Posted by Paul Mayer (Member # 355) on 05-13-2010, 02:56 PM:
My lawyers, accountants, and financial planners/advisers:
Dewey, Cheatham, and Howe
Posted by Joe Elliott (Member # 4006) on 05-14-2010, 08:01 PM:
You are reinforcing my inherent mistrust of strangers.
Posted by Ian Parfrey (Member # 5122) on 05-14-2010, 09:15 PM:
MY lawyers, accountants, and financial planners/advisers:
Snatch, Grabbit and Runn
Posted by Randy Stankey (Member # 64) on 05-14-2010, 10:13 PM:
Dewey, Cheetham and Howe.
Actual sign in the window of an office in Harvard Square:
Posted by Ian Parfrey (Member # 5122) on 05-14-2010, 10:29 PM:
Never let the truth get in the way of a bad joke
Posted by Paul Mayer (Member # 355) on 05-15-2010, 02:35 PM:
You should hear what the anime voices inside my head are calling you.
Posted by Phil Hill (Member # 371) on 05-15-2010, 10:26 PM:
Where's the dam bait?
Posted by Paul Mayer (Member # 355) on 05-16-2010, 02:02 AM:
Omaha - 15
Las Vegas 51's - 1
Ouch. How embarrassing.
Posted by Joe Elliott (Member # 4006) on 05-16-2010, 10:18 AM:
God is good. I'm just not crazy about his fan clubs.
Posted by Paul Mayer (Member # 355) on 05-16-2010, 12:31 PM:
If it's Sunday, it must be ONT.
Posted by Ian Parfrey (Member # 5122) on 05-16-2010, 01:50 PM:
Never write off The Goose 'till you see the box go in the hole.
Posted by Phil Hill (Member # 371) on 05-16-2010, 06:55 PM:
Hot tip: When dining, don't order the Rocky Mountain Oysters...
Posted by Paul Mayer (Member # 355) on 05-17-2010, 12:09 AM:
Watch where the huskies go
Don't eat the yellow snow
Posted by Ian Parfrey (Member # 5122) on 05-17-2010, 12:22 AM:
I'll NEVER give up my Lemon Sorbet.
Posted by John Wilson (Member # 269) on 05-18-2010, 07:48 PM:
Oh, I'll have a twist of lemon...
Posted by Paul Mayer (Member # 355) on 05-19-2010, 11:46 PM:
It's just one after-dinner mint.
Posted by Joe Elliott (Member # 4006) on 05-20-2010, 12:41 AM:
I may have multiple personalities, but at least we all get along.
Posted by Phil Hill (Member # 371) on 05-20-2010, 05:03 PM:
Beans, beans, the musical fruit,
The more you eat the more you toot...
Posted by William T. Parr (Member # 677) on 05-20-2010, 05:16 PM:
Dominus vobiscum nabisco. Espiritu sanctum. De gustibus
Me gustibus. You gustibus. We missed the bus. They missed the bus.
When's the next bus?
Summa cum laude. Magna cum laude. The radio's too laude.
Adeste fidelis. Centra fidelis. High fidelis.
Post meridian. Ante meridian. Uncle meridian. All of the little meridians.
Magna carta. Master charga.
Dum procellas. Lotsa Vitalis
Posted by Randy Stankey (Member # 64) on 05-20-2010, 06:54 PM:
quote: Phil Hill
Beans, beans, the musical fruit,
The more you eat the more you toot...
If you don't fart, you'll blow up your heart!
Posted by Paul Mayer (Member # 355) on 05-21-2010, 01:19 AM:
Do farts have lumps in them?
Posted by Randy Stankey (Member # 64) on 05-21-2010, 09:39 AM:
A fart is the sharpest thing in the world. It can cut through your pants without leaving a hole!
Posted by Paul Mayer (Member # 355) on 05-21-2010, 11:19 AM:
Unleashing silent room-clearing miasmas of death with truly fearsome hangtime.
Posted by Mike Blakesley (Member # 26) on 05-21-2010, 12:54 PM:
Nobody ever uses the word 'shit' really literally...it's always figurative speech. "Hey, get that shit outta here, willya? Just move that shit away. I don't wanna hear that shit. Don't give me that shit. I don't have to take that shit. I'm not fulla...you're fulla shit. You some kind of a shithead or something? Don't need that shit."
It's always figuative. You never hear anybody say "Look at this shit, Martha, wow! Little piles of shit in the street, wow." They don't say that -- they have other words for that. Doo-doo, caca, poo-poo...and good old number 2. I could never figure that one out. How did they arrive at that? Out of all the numbers, 2's gotta mean shit.
Posted by Phil Hill (Member # 371) on 05-21-2010, 01:33 PM:
An alternative to the REAL thing to clear out the room...
Posted by Michael Brown (Member # 890) on 05-21-2010, 04:10 PM:
The next time I walk past a pile of doo-doo on the street, I'm going to say "Look at that shit!".
...Even if I'm the only one there.
Tle Latin for Fart is pēdĕre ( wiki
Posted by Paul Mayer (Member # 355) on 05-21-2010, 05:43 PM:
You don't take a shit, you LEAVE a shit.
Posted by Randy Stankey (Member # 64) on 05-21-2010, 05:54 PM:
quote: Benjamin Franklin
To the Royal Academy of Farting
Benjamin Franklin, c. 1781
GENTLEMEN,
I have perused your late mathematical Prize Question, proposed in lieu of one in Natural Philosophy, for the ensuing year, viz. "Une figure quelconque donnee, on demande d’y inscrire le plus grand nombre de fois possible une autre figure plus-petite quelconque, qui est aussi donnee". I was glad to find by these following Words, "l’Acadeemie a jugee que cette deecouverte, en eetendant les bornes de nos connoissances, ne seroit pas sans UTILITE", that you esteem Utility an essential Point in your Enquiries, which has not always been the case with all Academies; and I conclude therefore that you have given this Question instead of a philosophical, or as the Learned express it, a physical one, because you could not at the time think of a physical one that promis’d greater_Utility.
Permit me then humbly to propose one of that sort for your consideration, and through you, if you approve it, for the serious Enquiry of learned Physicians, Chemists, &c. of this enlightened Age. It is universally well known, That in digesting our common Food, there is created or produced in the Bowels of human Creatures, a great Quantity of Wind.
That the permitting this Air to escape and mix with the Atmosphere, is usually offensive to the Company, from the fetid Smell that accompanies it.
That all well-bred People therefore, to avoid giving such Offence, forcibly restrain the Efforts of Nature to discharge that Wind.
That so retain’d contrary to Nature, it not only gives frequently great present Pain, but occasions future Diseases, such as habitual Cholics, Ruptures, Tympanies, &c. often destructive of the Constitution, & sometimes of Life itself.
Were it not for the odiously offensive Smell accompanying such Escapes, polite People would probably be under no more Restraint in discharging such Wind in Company, than they are in spitting, or in blowing their Noses.
My Prize Question therefore should be, To discover some Drug wholesome & not disagreable, to be mix’d with our common Food, or Sauces, that shall render the natural Discharges of Wind from our Bodies, not only inoffensive, but agreable as Perfumes.
That this is not a chimerical Project, and altogether impossible, may appear from these Considerations. That we already have some Knowledge of Means capable of Varying that Smell. He that dines on stale Flesh, especially with much Addition of Onions, shall be able to afford a Stink that no Company can tolerate; while he that has lived for some Time on Vegetables only, shall have that Breath so pure as to be insensible to the most delicate Noses; and if he can manage so as to avoid the Report, he may any where give Vent to his Griefs, unnoticed. But as there are many to whom an entire Vegetable Diet would be inconvenient, and as a little Quick-Lime thrown into a Jakes will correct the amazing Quantity of fetid Air arising from the vast Mass of putrid Matter contain’d in such Places, and render it rather pleasing to the Smell, who knows but that a little Powder of Lime (or some other thing equivalent) taken in our Food, or perhaps a Glass of Limewater drank at Dinner, may have the same Effect on the Air produc’d in and issuing from our Bowels? This is worth the Experiment. Certain it is also that we have the Power of changing by slight Means the Smell of another Discharge, that of our Water. A few Stems of Asparagus eaten, shall give our Urine a disagreable Odour; and a Pill of Turpentine no bigger than a Pea, shall bestow on it the pleasing Smell of Violets. And why should it be thought more impossible in Nature, to find Means of making a Perfume of our Wind than of our Water?
For the Encouragement of this Enquiry, (from the immortal Honour to be reasonably expected by the Inventor) let it be considered of how small Importance to Mankind, or to how small a Part of Mankind have been useful those Discoveries in Science that have heretofore made Philosophers famous. Are there twenty Men in Europe at this Day, the happier, or even the easier, for any Knowledge they have pick’d out of Aristotle? What Comfort can the Vortices of Descartes give to a Man who has Whirlwinds in his Bowels! The Knowledge of Newton’s mutual Attraction of the Particles of Matter, can it afford Ease to him who is rack’d by their mutual Repulsion, and the cruel Distensions it occasions? The Pleasure arising to a few Philosophers, from seeing, a few Times in their Life, the Threads of Light untwisted, and separated by the Newtonian Prism into seven Colours, can it be compared with the Ease and Comfort every Man living might feel seven times a Day, by discharging freely the Wind from his Bowels? Especially if it be converted into a Perfume: For the Pleasures of one Sense being little inferior to those of another, instead of pleasing the Sight he might delight the Smell of those about him, & make Numbers happy, which to a benevolent Mind must afford infinite Satisfaction. The generous Soul, who now endeavours to find out whether the Friends he entertains like best Claret or Burgundy, Champagne or Madeira, would then enquire also whether they chose Musk or Lilly, Rose or Bergamot, and provide accordingly. And surely such a Liberty of Expressing one’s Scent-iments, and pleasing one another, is of infinitely more Importance to human Happiness than that Liberty of the Press, or of abusing one another, which the English are so ready to fight & die for. -- In short, this Invention, if compleated, would be, as Bacon expresses it, bringing Philosophy home to Mens Business and Bosoms. And I cannot but conclude, that in Comparison therewith, for universal and continual UTILITY, the Science of the Philosophers above-mentioned, even with the Addition, Gentlemen, of your "Figure quelconque" and the Figures inscrib’d in it, are, all together, scarcely worth a
FART-HING.
Fart Proudly!
Posted by Paul Mayer (Member # 355) on 05-22-2010, 12:06 PM:
That smells like the shithouse door on a tuna boat.
Posted by Joe Elliott (Member # 4006) on 05-22-2010, 02:41 PM:
I hear you have a porn addiction . . ., well at least that's what I've been telling everyone.
Sorry, couldn't come up with anything in the poop/fart department.
Posted by Paul Mayer (Member # 355) on 05-23-2010, 12:07 AM:
If it's Sunday it must be Santa Clarita.
Posted by Mitchell Dvoskin (Member # 751) on 05-23-2010, 01:28 PM:
In Hollywood, an ounce of image is worth a pound of performance.
Posted by Edward Havens (Member # 4715) on 05-23-2010, 06:46 PM:
Frankly, my dear, I don't give a shit.
Posted by Randy Stankey (Member # 64) on 05-23-2010, 09:50 PM:
To be, or not to be: that is the question: Whether 'tis nobler in the mind to suffer The slings and arrows of outrageous fortune, Or to take... Aw, fuck it!
Posted by Ian Parfrey (Member # 5122) on 05-23-2010, 10:12 PM:
Q. Why do farts smell?
A. So deaf people can enjoy them too.
Posted by Edward Havens (Member # 4715) on 05-24-2010, 02:14 AM:
Chuck Norris's shit feels like rich suede.
Posted by John Wilson (Member # 269) on 05-26-2010, 04:28 PM:
Happy 103rd birthday.
Posted by Paul Mayer (Member # 355) on 05-27-2010, 08:59 AM:
Don't call me "Dukie" in front of the men. It's "Mr. Dunson."
Posted by Joe Elliott (Member # 4006) on 05-27-2010, 12:41 PM:
quote:
Albert: No good?
Armand: Actually, it's perfect. I just never realized John Wayne walked like that.
Posted by Phil Hill (Member # 371) on 05-27-2010, 12:54 PM:
... and don't call me Shirley!
Posted by Tony Bandiera Jr (Member # 2365) on 05-27-2010, 01:09 PM:
Shirley you jest....
Posted by Paul Mayer (Member # 355) on 05-27-2010, 07:02 PM:
I like where this is going.
Posted by Joe Elliott (Member # 4006) on 05-28-2010, 06:55 PM:
Life is tough, but it's tougher when you're stupid.
---John Wayne
Posted by Ian Parfrey (Member # 5122) on 05-28-2010, 07:17 PM:
Truly, this man was the son of Gaaad.
John Wayne- The Greatest Story Ever Told.
Posted by Paul Mayer (Member # 355) on 05-28-2010, 07:20 PM:
Are you normally this stupid or are you just being obtuse?
Posted by Randy Stankey (Member # 64) on 05-28-2010, 07:30 PM:
quote: Joe Elliott
Life is tough, but it's tougher when you're stupid.
---John Wayne
Life might be tough when you're stupid but it's a lot more stupid when you're tough.
Posted by Joe Elliott (Member # 4006) on 05-29-2010, 09:32 AM:
An expert is someone who is one page ahead in the manual.
Posted by Paul Mayer (Member # 355) on 05-30-2010, 11:31 AM:
If it's Sunday it must be Las Vegas.
Posted by John Wilson (Member # 269) on 05-31-2010, 05:14 AM:
If it's Tuesday this must be Belgium.
Posted by Paul Mayer (Member # 355) on 05-31-2010, 02:05 PM:
Don't raise the bridge, lower the river!
Posted by Jeremy Jorgenson (Member # 2989) on 06-01-2010, 12:30 AM:
Welcome to June!
Posted by Ian Parfrey (Member # 5122) on 06-01-2010, 01:44 AM:
See you next Wednesday.
Posted by Paul Mayer (Member # 355) on 06-01-2010, 02:06 AM:
I'm not dead yet.
Posted by Robert John Jeromson (Member # 2559) on 06-01-2010, 02:30 AM:
I have Man-Flu, also known as Whine-Flu
Posted by Ian Parfrey (Member # 5122) on 06-01-2010, 02:49 AM:
Ancient Oriental Villan Version...
Flu Manchu
Posted by Paul Mayer (Member # 355) on 06-01-2010, 09:39 PM:
A couple of rice balls short of a bento box...
Posted by Ian Parfrey (Member # 5122) on 06-01-2010, 10:20 PM:
Kangaroos in the top paddock.
Posted by Paul Mayer (Member # 355) on 06-02-2010, 01:29 AM:
Flyin' about a half a bubble off.
Posted by Ian Parfrey (Member # 5122) on 06-02-2010, 01:57 PM:
Sandwich short of a picnic.
Posted by Phil Hill (Member # 371) on 06-02-2010, 02:19 PM:
Fell out of the stupid tree and hit every branch on the way down.
Posted by Paul Mayer (Member # 355) on 06-02-2010, 02:28 PM:
A brick shy of a load.
Posted by Randy Stankey (Member # 64) on 06-02-2010, 02:44 PM:
His frame counter only goes up to 35.
Posted by Phil Hill (Member # 371) on 06-02-2010, 02:48 PM:
I don't have to show you any stinking badges.
Posted by Paul Mayer (Member # 355) on 06-02-2010, 03:34 PM:
The numbers all go to 11.
Posted by John Wilson (Member # 269) on 06-02-2010, 04:43 PM:
It's in Dobly.
Posted by Ian Parfrey (Member # 5122) on 06-02-2010, 05:24 PM:
Turn up the brightness on the DVD
Posted by Phil Hill (Member # 371) on 06-02-2010, 05:28 PM:
Where's my SDDS?
Posted by Paul Mayer (Member # 355) on 06-02-2010, 05:52 PM:
DTS = Dinosaurs That Scream
Dolby = For most wives, another word for "loud."
Posted by John Wilson (Member # 269) on 06-02-2010, 07:41 PM:
I want my BLT.
Posted by Randy Stankey (Member # 64) on 06-02-2010, 09:01 PM:
I want my MTV.
Posted by John Wilson (Member # 269) on 06-02-2010, 09:22 PM:
I've heard MTV tastes like .
Posted by Randy Stankey (Member # 64) on 06-02-2010, 09:52 PM:
Tastes kind of like Vegemite to me!
Posted by Paul Mayer (Member # 355) on 06-02-2010, 10:50 PM:
I'd fly 7000 miles for a Vegemite sandwich right about now.
Posted by Randy Stankey (Member # 64) on 06-04-2010, 08:16 PM:
"The vessel with the pestle has the pellet with the poison. The chalice from the palace has the brew that is true."
Posted by Richard C. Wolfe (Member # 431) on 06-04-2010, 08:52 PM:
so when will this end?
Posted by Randy Stankey (Member # 64) on 06-04-2010, 08:59 PM:
When somebody drinks from the flagon with the dragon.
Posted by Paul Mayer (Member # 355) on 06-04-2010, 09:06 PM:
Welcome my friends to the show that never ends...
Posted by Adam Martin (Member # 641) on 06-04-2010, 09:17 PM:
We're so glad you could attend, come inside, come inside.
Posted by Bobby Henderson (Member # 840) on 06-04-2010, 09:57 PM:
There behind a glass stands a real blade of grass.
Be careful as you pass, move along, move along.
Posted by Paul Mayer (Member # 355) on 06-05-2010, 01:48 AM:
One hand high and one hand low, that's how we make the scenery go...
Posted by Ian Parfrey (Member # 5122) on 06-05-2010, 02:18 AM:
My father he shouted, "he needs to be clouted, his teeth on a wreath I'll hand him!"
My mother she cried as she rushed to my side, "You're a brute and you don't understand him!"
Posted by Paul Mayer (Member # 355) on 06-05-2010, 09:53 AM:
Now go away or I shall taunt you a second time.
Posted by Phil Hill (Member # 371) on 06-05-2010, 05:22 PM:
Can she make a cherry pie, Charming Billy?
Posted by Randy Stankey (Member # 64) on 06-05-2010, 07:07 PM:
She can make a cherry pie quick as a cat can wink an eye!
Posted by Adam Martin (Member # 641) on 06-05-2010, 10:16 PM:
Bang your head.
Posted by Ian Parfrey (Member # 5122) on 06-05-2010, 10:22 PM:
"Bang, bang, Maxwell's silver hammer came down upon her head..."
Posted by John Wilson (Member # 269) on 06-06-2010, 05:41 AM:
quote: Randy Stankey
Tastes kind of like Vegemite to me!
Oh YEAH??? Why don't you come over here and say that? ![[Mad]](mad.gif)
![[evans]](graemlins/evans.gif)
![[bruce]](graemlins/bruce.gif)
Posted by Paul Mayer (Member # 355) on 06-06-2010, 10:40 AM:
If it's Sunday it must be BUR and Arcadia
Posted by Randy Stankey (Member # 64) on 06-06-2010, 11:52 AM:
Actually, John, I can't find Vegemite in the grocery store, here, but there is one grocer who stocks Marmite.
Some day I'd like to make a comparison of the two.
Posted by Phil Hill (Member # 371) on 06-06-2010, 02:43 PM:
Did you ever get a feeling of déjŕ vu? ![[Phil Hill]](graemlins/phil.gif)
Posted by Randy Stankey (Member # 64) on 06-06-2010, 03:43 PM:
You know an odd feeling? Sitting on the toilet eating a chocolate bar.
Posted by Joe Elliott (Member # 4006) on 06-07-2010, 01:11 AM:
How about the feeling of vuja de? The feeling that nothing like this has ever happened before.
Posted by Jeremy Jorgenson (Member # 2989) on 06-07-2010, 03:40 AM:
You mean jamais vu?
Posted by Frank Angel (Member # 248) on 06-07-2010, 09:51 AM:
i.e., A View from My Pajamas all over again....while eating a chocolate bar on the twalette.
Posted by Joe Elliott (Member # 4006) on 06-07-2010, 10:03 AM:
No, I was just being funny, but interesting that there is actually a term like that. I had never heard it before.
Posted by Randy Stankey (Member # 64) on 06-07-2010, 07:51 PM:
Vuja de is a bit George Carlin once did.
So is the chocolate bar on the toilet bit.
It was meant to be an obtuse nod to Carlin when I posted it.
Posted by John Wilson (Member # 269) on 06-07-2010, 08:03 PM:
quote: Randy Stankey
Some day I'd like to make a comparison of the two.
Save yourself the effort and just get some Vegemite. I believe it can be ordered online.
Posted by Randy Stankey (Member # 64) on 06-07-2010, 08:17 PM:
My wife can't believe I eat the stuff. She won't get within 6 feet of an open jar of Marmite. I just can't imagine what she'd say when a jar of Vegemite shows up on the doorstep!
Posted by Mike Blakesley (Member # 26) on 06-07-2010, 08:46 PM:
quote: Randy Stankey
So is the chocolate bar on the toilet bit.
It was meant to be an obtuse nod to Carlin when I posted it.
That's weird - I thought I'd heard everything he did but I don't remember anything about a chocolate bar on the toilet. Or is it in one of the books?
I was a fussy eater...which is a euphemism for "big pain in the ass"
Posted by Frank Angel (Member # 248) on 06-07-2010, 08:50 PM:
My wife has a speech defect -- every once in awhile she's forced to stop talking in order to take a breath. Jackie Mason
Posted by Adam Martin (Member # 641) on 06-07-2010, 11:03 PM:
You take the good, you take the bad, you take them both and there you have the Facts of Life.
Posted by Phil Hill (Member # 371) on 06-07-2010, 11:51 PM:
In wine, there is wisdom.
In beer, there is freedom.
In water, there is bacteria.
Posted by Randy Stankey (Member # 64) on 06-08-2010, 02:42 AM:
I never drink water. Fish fuck in it!
Posted by Frank Angel (Member # 248) on 06-08-2010, 09:49 AM:
My luck is so bad, if I were an undertaker, people would stop dying. Rodney Dangerfield
Posted by Joe Elliott (Member # 4006) on 06-11-2010, 09:54 AM:
LOVE THY ENEMIES, for it will totally piss them off.
Posted by Paul Mayer (Member # 355) on 06-11-2010, 01:15 PM:
Want to drive someone nuts? Send them an IM saying, "Disregard previous IM."
Posted by Mark J. Marshall (Member # 1409) on 06-11-2010, 08:14 PM:
Starbucks! ...
Disney world! ...
Porno! ...
Valium! ...
Reeboks! ...
Fake Tits! ...
Sushi! ...
Taco Bell! ...
Rodeos! ...
Bed bath and beyond! ....
Posted by Paul Mayer (Member # 355) on 06-12-2010, 12:21 AM:
If it has blades, wheels, or tits, sooner or later you'll have trouble with it.
Posted by Joe Elliott (Member # 4006) on 06-12-2010, 11:16 AM:
He who dies with the most toys is probably a real douchebag!
Posted by Adam Martin (Member # 641) on 06-13-2010, 02:02 AM:
Let's show this prehistoric bitch how we do things downtown.
Posted by Paul Mayer (Member # 355) on 06-13-2010, 02:26 AM:
This bitch is toast!
Posted by Phil Hill (Member # 371) on 06-13-2010, 05:26 PM:
I will correct the missing ground bonding wire on the pool pump motor.
Posted by John Wilson (Member # 269) on 06-13-2010, 05:52 PM:
Don't mention the war...
Posted by Joe Elliott (Member # 4006) on 06-14-2010, 02:46 AM:
Ok, so she's a dog . . .
Posted by Paul Mayer (Member # 355) on 06-14-2010, 03:19 AM:
If it's Sunday it must be Aliso Viejo...
Posted by Phil Hill (Member # 371) on 06-14-2010, 03:27 PM:
There's a lot you don't know about me...
Posted by Adam Martin (Member # 641) on 06-15-2010, 12:17 AM:
Leave the gun. Take the cannoli.
Posted by John Wilson (Member # 269) on 06-15-2010, 12:36 AM:
NOT IN THE FACE!
Posted by Ian Parfrey (Member # 5122) on 06-15-2010, 01:55 AM:
It's time to kick ass and chew bubblegum....and I'm all outta gum.
Posted by Randy Stankey (Member # 64) on 06-15-2010, 07:56 AM:
YOU CAN'T HANDLE THE TRUTH!
Posted by Joe Elliott (Member # 4006) on 06-15-2010, 11:09 AM:
Put on the sunglasses!
Posted by Adam Martin (Member # 641) on 06-16-2010, 01:37 PM:
This is the moment ... we should have trained for.
Posted by Ian Parfrey (Member # 5122) on 06-16-2010, 01:45 PM:
You put Basil in the Ratatouille!?!?
Posted by Joe Elliott (Member # 4006) on 06-16-2010, 02:22 PM:
Don't give me any of that intelligent life crap, just give me something I can blow up
Posted by Adam Martin (Member # 641) on 06-16-2010, 10:08 PM:
That's a fact, Jack!
Posted by Mike Blakesley (Member # 26) on 06-16-2010, 10:11 PM:
Where is your drill sergeant? Blown up, SIR!
Posted by John Wilson (Member # 269) on 06-16-2010, 10:13 PM:
Boom shugga lugga lugga,
Boom shugga lugga lugga,
Boom shugga lugga lugga,
Boom.
Posted by Ian Parfrey (Member # 5122) on 06-17-2010, 07:57 AM:
A flute without holes, is not a flute. A donut without a hole, is a Danish.
Posted by Randy Stankey (Member # 64) on 06-17-2010, 09:15 AM:
The shortest distance between two points is a straight line... in the opposite direction.
Posted by William T. Parr (Member # 677) on 06-17-2010, 09:58 AM:
Pie r Square
Posted by Phil Hill (Member # 371) on 06-17-2010, 01:23 PM:
Todd: No, no, NO! Pie R round!
Posted by William T. Parr (Member # 677) on 06-17-2010, 01:26 PM:
According to Texas A&M Pi R Square
Posted by Paul Mayer (Member # 355) on 06-20-2010, 12:43 PM:
Two Weeks in Another Town
Posted by Joe Elliott (Member # 4006) on 06-20-2010, 02:30 PM:
The shortest distance between to puns is a straight line.
Posted by Paul Mayer (Member # 355) on 06-20-2010, 02:39 PM:
If it's Sunday it must be Las Vegas
Posted by Ian Parfrey (Member # 5122) on 06-20-2010, 03:24 PM:
Best Pie is Triangle.
Posted by Tony Bandiera Jr (Member # 2365) on 06-20-2010, 11:25 PM:
"Do you like pie?" WWE "The Rock" to Kurt Angle, who was "outed" because he said he preferred pizza.
Posted by Paul Mayer (Member # 355) on 06-21-2010, 03:11 AM:
Cornbread R square
Posted by Ian Parfrey (Member # 5122) on 06-21-2010, 06:00 AM:
That's so corny you could sell it on the cobb.
Posted by John Wilson (Member # 269) on 06-22-2010, 06:17 PM:
"He pulls a knife...you pull a gun. He puts one of yours in the hospital...you put one of his in the morgue. THAT'S the Chicago way and THAT'S how you get Capone."
Sean Connery as Jim Malone in 'The Untouchables' - 1987
Posted by Mike Blakesley (Member # 26) on 06-22-2010, 07:03 PM:
Due to a setsyl wind, Dystor's vectored us into a 360-tarson of slow air traffic. Now we'll maintain this Bordon hold until we get forto magnus clearance from Melnyx.
Posted by Paul Mayer (Member # 355) on 06-22-2010, 11:29 PM:
I'll tell you later Dad.
Posted by Joe Elliott (Member # 4006) on 06-23-2010, 02:45 AM:
Forewarned is half an octopus.
Posted by Ian Parfrey (Member # 5122) on 06-23-2010, 04:05 AM:
If a hog loses it's voice, does that mean he's disgruntled?
Posted by William T. Parr (Member # 677) on 06-23-2010, 06:59 AM:
If a woodchuck could chuck wood, how much wood could a woodchuck, chuck?
Posted by Joe Elliott (Member # 4006) on 06-23-2010, 10:47 AM:
All suspects are guilty, PERIOD. Otherwise, they wouldn't be suspects, would they?
Troops. If you haven't seen it, check out the post I'm about to add to the video links.
Posted by Victor Liorentas (Member # 5272) on 06-24-2010, 06:19 PM:
I will not buy this record,it is scratched.
Posted by Paul Mayer (Member # 355) on 06-24-2010, 09:17 PM:
Does it talk?
Posted by Randy Stankey (Member # 64) on 06-25-2010, 07:50 AM:
My hovercraft is full of eels.
Posted by Joe Elliott (Member # 4006) on 06-25-2010, 10:04 AM:
A légpárnás hajóm tele van angolnákkal.
Posted by Phil Hill (Member # 371) on 06-25-2010, 10:33 AM:
Don't object to the object.
Posted by Randy Stankey (Member # 64) on 06-25-2010, 10:43 AM:
Yandelavasa grldenwi stravenka.
Posted by Paul Mayer (Member # 355) on 06-25-2010, 12:22 PM:
私のホバークラフトは鰻でいっぱいです。
Posted by Joe Elliott (Member # 4006) on 06-27-2010, 12:55 AM:
Well, at least the war on the environment is doing well. . .
Posted by John Wilson (Member # 269) on 06-27-2010, 03:49 PM:
Let's go back to my place. Bouncy bouncy.
Posted by Tony Bandiera Jr (Member # 2365) on 06-27-2010, 04:23 PM:
If I gave you a hard-on would you hold it against me?
Posted by Paul Mayer (Member # 355) on 06-27-2010, 05:48 PM:
Is that a pistol in your pocket or are you just happy to see me?
Posted by Mark Ogden (Member # 43) on 06-27-2010, 07:11 PM:
Remember: It's only sexual harassment if he's ugly.
Posted by Phil Hill (Member # 371) on 06-28-2010, 03:46 AM:
When I was in college, my roommate, Tim, was in pre-med... Ummm, we used to play "doctor"...
Posted by Tony Bandiera Jr (Member # 2365) on 06-28-2010, 06:11 PM:
So Phil, who had the bigger stethoscope?
Posted by Frank Angel (Member # 248) on 06-29-2010, 08:17 PM:
NEWSPAPER HUMOR:
1. The Wall Street Journal is read by the people who run the country.
2. The Washington Post is read by people who think they run the country.
3. The New York Times is read by people who think they should run the country and who are very good at crossword puzzles.
4. USA Today is read by people who think they ought to run the country but don't really understand The New York Times. They do, however, like their statistics shown in pie charts.
5. The Los Angeles Times is read by people who wouldn't mind running the country -- if they could find the time -- and if they didn't have to leave Southern California to do it.
6. The Boston Globe is read by people whose parents used to run the country.
7. The New York Daily News is read by people who aren't too sure who's running the country and don't really care as long as they can get a seat on the train.
8. The New York Post is read by people who don't care who is running the country as long as they do something really scandalous, preferably including farm animals and while intoxicated.
9. The Miami Herald is read by people who are running another country but need the baseball scores.
10. The San Francisco Chronicle is read by people who aren't sure if there is a country or that anyone is running it; but if so, they oppose all that they stand for. There are occasional exceptions if the leaders are handicapped minority feminist atheist dwarfs who also happen to be illegal aliens from any other country, or galaxy, provided of course, that they are not Republicans.
11. The National Enquirer is read by people trapped in line at the grocery store.
12. The Sacramento Bee is read by people who have recently caught a fish and need something in which to wrap it.
--
Posted by Ian Parfrey (Member # 5122) on 06-29-2010, 10:10 PM:
Tony.
That's something to "speculum" about!
Posted by Joe Elliott (Member # 4006) on 06-30-2010, 10:45 AM:
Talent hits a target no one else can hit. Genius hits a target no one else can see.
Posted by Phil Hill (Member # 371) on 06-30-2010, 03:00 PM:
Dale Evans was hanging around their ranch while Roy Rogers went into town to get a new pair of cowboy boots for working around the horses. When he returned he promptly went into the barn wearing his new boots and they got all dirty with the type of mess commonly found in horse stalls.
Dale called him into the house to enjoy the fine meal she had spent all day cooking. When Roy showed up she made him take off his new boots and leave them on the porch. After supper he forgot about his boots and left them out over night.
The next morning he woke up, ate breakfast, and went out onto the porch to put on his boots. To his dismay, they were missing. Eventually he found them, chewed by an animal. Looking around, Roy saw some mountain lion or “Cat” tracks and he knew what had gotten his boots.
Roy returned to the house, retrieved his rifle, and went to the barn where he saddled up Trigger. Soon he was on the way to find the mountain lion.
As the day wore on Dale became concerned about what was taking Roy so long. Finally, just before sunset, she spotted Roy and Trigger returning. Seeing the dead mountain lion slung across Trigger she sang (To the tune of Chattanooga Choo-Choo):
"Pardon me Roy, is that the cat that chewed your new shoes?
Size number 9, they had the looking-glass shine..."
Posted by Paul Mayer (Member # 355) on 07-05-2010, 03:20 PM:
Beetlebomb...
Posted by Randy Stankey (Member # 64) on 07-08-2010, 11:51 AM:
I am standing in the shower
Singing opera and such,
Pondering the possiblilty
I pull the pud too much.
There's a smell in the air.
Is it flatus? Just a touch!
And it makes me think of you.
Posted by Frank Angel (Member # 248) on 07-08-2010, 04:01 PM:
AIRPORT SECURITY
Full-body x-rays scans do present problems for some flyers, especially women. Here is the solution:
Have a booth with 12 inch thick walls of reenforced concrete that each flyer steps into. It is not an X-ray scanner, but it has the latest electronic sensing circuitry that WILL detonate any explosive device may be on the person or his/her carry-on.
It would be a win-win for everyone, and there would be no argument about racial profiling either.
This method would also eliminate a long and expensive trial.
Justice would be quick and swift. Case Closed!
Scenario: you're in the airport terminal and you hear a muffled explosion. Shortly thereafter an announcement comes over the PA system, "Attention standby passengers we now have a seat available on flight number.......... "
Posted by Mike Blakesley (Member # 26) on 07-08-2010, 06:55 PM:
[ Like ]
Posted by Paul Mayer (Member # 355) on 07-09-2010, 12:26 AM:
Posted by Paul Mayer (Member # 355) on 07-15-2010, 11:00 PM:
If it's Thursday it must be Cody, WY.
Posted by Clint Koch (Member # 1179) on 07-21-2010, 09:58 PM:
she asks me why
I'm just a hairy guy
I'm hairy noon and night
Hair that's a fright
I'm hairy high and low
Don't ask me why
Don't know
It's not for lack of break
Like the Grateful Dead
Darling
Gimme head with hair
Long beautiful hair
Shining, gleaming,
Streaming, flaxen, waxen
Give me down to there hair
Shoulder length or longer
Here baby, there mama
Everywhere daddy daddy
Hair, hair, hair, hair, hair, hair, hair
Flow it, show it
Long as God can grow it
My hair
Let it fly in the breeze
And get caught in the trees
Give a home to the fleas in my hair
A home for fleas
A hive for bees
A nest for birds
There ain't no words
For the beauty, the splendor, the wonder
Of my...
Hair, hair, hair, hair, hair, hair, hair
Flow it, show it
Long as God can grow it
My hair
I want it long, straight, curly, fuzzy
Snaggy, shaggy, ratty, matty
Oily, greasy, fleecy
Shining, gleaming, streaming
Flaxen, waxen
Knotted, polka-dotted
Twisted, beaded, braided
Powdered, flowered, and confettied
Bangled, tangled, spangled, and spaghettied!
Oh say can you see
My eyes if you can
Then my hair's too short
Down to here
Down to there
Down to where
It stops by itself
They'll be ga ga at the go go
When they see me in my toga
My toga made of blond
Brilliantined
Biblical hair
My hair like Jesus wore it
Hallelujah I adore it
Hallelujah Mary loved her son
Why don't my mother love me?
Hair, hair, hair, hair, hair, hair, hair
Flow it, show it
Long as God can grow it
My hair, hair, hair, hair, hair, hair, hair
Flow it, show it
Long as God can grow it
My hair
Posted by Phil Hill (Member # 371) on 07-22-2010, 05:13 PM:
Confucius says: Man who sleeps with itchy butt, wakes up with smelly fingers.
Posted by Robert Minichino (Member # 3495) on 07-22-2010, 07:31 PM:
I heard that when Phil plays doctor, he plays to win!
Posted by Paul Mayer (Member # 355) on 07-23-2010, 02:05 AM:
If it's Thursday it must be Corona, CA.
Posted by Joe Elliott (Member # 4006) on 08-02-2010, 02:12 PM:
More Sarcasm.
Yeah, that's just what we need.
Posted by Paul Mayer (Member # 355) on 08-02-2010, 09:21 PM:
If it's Monday it must be West Covina, CA.
Posted by Joe Elliott (Member # 4006) on 08-03-2010, 01:08 PM:
Terrorists are the new Commies.
Posted by Tony Bandiera Jr (Member # 2365) on 08-03-2010, 01:35 PM:
If it's Tuesday it must be Hawthorne, California.
Posted by Sam Graham (Member # 2889) on 08-03-2010, 04:55 PM:
TACO TUESDAY
Posted by John Wilson (Member # 269) on 08-03-2010, 09:14 PM:
Taco Taco Taco
Posted by Tony Bandiera Jr (Member # 2365) on 08-03-2010, 09:58 PM:
Bacon! bacon! bacon!!
Posted by John Wilson (Member # 269) on 08-03-2010, 10:10 PM:
I definitely smell a pork product of some kind.
Posted by Mike Blakesley (Member # 26) on 08-03-2010, 10:24 PM:
And we're glowin' like the metal on the edge of a knife
Posted by John Wilson (Member # 269) on 08-03-2010, 11:04 PM:
Glowin' like the metal on the edge of a knife
Posted by Paul Mayer (Member # 355) on 08-04-2010, 01:39 AM:
Oh we're pegging the ol' fun meter now!
Posted by Robert D Hall (Member # 5674) on 08-04-2010, 10:40 AM:
C'mon! Hold on tight!
C'mon! Hold on tight!
Though it's cold and lonely in the deep dark night
Posted by Tony Bandiera Jr (Member # 2365) on 08-04-2010, 12:12 PM:
If it's Wednesday (Hump Day) it must be West Hollywood, CA. (Right, Phil?)
Posted by Mitchell Dvoskin (Member # 751) on 08-05-2010, 01:06 PM:
Is it true that cannibals don't eat clowns because they taste funny?
Posted by Phil Hill (Member # 371) on 08-05-2010, 01:44 PM:
Tony, every day is Hump Day...
Posted by Tony Bandiera Jr (Member # 2365) on 08-06-2010, 12:24 AM:
quote: Phil Hill
Tony, every day is Hump Day...
Yeah, for those fortunate enough to have someone..
I'm having no luck finding anyone, about to give up on it altogether...
Posted by Paul Mayer (Member # 355) on 08-06-2010, 01:11 AM:
Q: What does a cannibal do after dumping his girlfriend?
A: He wipes his ass.
Posted by Joe Elliott (Member # 4006) on 08-07-2010, 12:23 PM:
Whenever I'm with you, I miss being lonesome.
Posted by Clint Koch (Member # 1179) on 08-07-2010, 05:27 PM:
Thomas Dolby in "Aliens Ate My Buick"...Plus the Lost Toy People
Posted by Paul Mayer (Member # 355) on 08-08-2010, 11:29 PM:
If it's Monday it must be Palm Springs.
Posted by Robert D Hall (Member # 5674) on 08-09-2010, 11:31 AM:
Friends help you move. Real friends help you move dead bodies
Posted by Joe Elliott (Member # 4006) on 08-09-2010, 02:05 PM:
A real friend isn't someone you use once and then throw away, a real friend is someone you can use over and over again.
Posted by Randy Stankey (Member # 64) on 08-09-2010, 02:50 PM:
A real friend is somebody who sits beside you in the jail cell saying, "Was that fun or what?"
Posted by Ian Parfrey (Member # 5122) on 08-09-2010, 04:08 PM:
Tony.
Try this for an experiment.
Get yourself an aquaintance, a dog, and a car with a boot/trunk. Put the acquaintance and the dog in the trunk and close the lid.
Come back in an hour.
Open the lid.
..and see who's happy to see you.
I was never a great fan of dogs until I got one to keep me company- and that was the best thing I have ever done.
You are never alone with a dawg, they love you unconditionally and they always listen.
They're also chick-magnets too
Posted by Adam Martin (Member # 641) on 08-09-2010, 10:25 PM:
I don't drive fast. I fly low.
Posted by Mike Blakesley (Member # 26) on 08-09-2010, 10:38 PM:
YES, this is my truck. NO, I won't help you move.
Posted by Paul Mayer (Member # 355) on 08-10-2010, 12:20 AM:
Shoot low - they may be crawling.
Posted by Ian Parfrey (Member # 5122) on 08-10-2010, 08:43 AM:
Have you ever seen a grown man naked?
Posted by Frank Angel (Member # 248) on 08-10-2010, 12:31 PM:
I have always been a logical child. I realized early on that it was very presumptuous for mother to expect me to celebrate "mother's day" and give her gifts. I explained to her that it was she who should be giving ME gifts, since if it wasn't for me, she wouldn't be a mother.
Posted by Joe Elliott (Member # 4006) on 08-10-2010, 01:37 PM:
Just remember that you're standing on a planet that's evolving
And revolving at nine hundred miles an hour,
That's orbiting at nineteen miles a second, so it's reckoned,
A sun that is the source of all our power.
Posted by Frank Angel (Member # 248) on 08-10-2010, 02:23 PM:
That's why I pray to Rah the Sun God.
Posted by Paul Mayer (Member # 355) on 08-13-2010, 12:04 PM:
Prince of the Sun - The Great Adventure of Hols
Posted by Tony Bandiera Jr (Member # 2365) on 08-13-2010, 01:33 PM:
Do you like gladiator movies Tommy?
Gladiator..you bet he was!!
Posted by Paul Mayer (Member # 355) on 08-13-2010, 11:24 PM:
It's that time of year again - obon odori (and Japanese class) tomorrow. Then back to San Diego for more Sony installs...
Posted by Joe Elliott (Member # 4006) on 08-15-2010, 11:45 AM:
GREATNESS does not ask for permission!!
Posted by John Wilson (Member # 269) on 08-15-2010, 11:34 PM:
"A real woman could stop you from drinking."
"It'd have to be a real BIG woman."
Posted by Tony Bandiera Jr (Member # 2365) on 08-15-2010, 11:40 PM:
Post # 1,000 in this thread..what do I win Brad?
Posted by John Wilson (Member # 269) on 08-15-2010, 11:51 PM:
Here you go, Tony...
Posted by Mike Blakesley (Member # 26) on 08-16-2010, 06:14 PM:
I wouldn't give his troubles to a monkey on a rock.
Posted by Ian Parfrey (Member # 5122) on 08-17-2010, 04:05 AM:
Ya pay peanuts- ya get monkeys
Posted by Frank Angel (Member # 248) on 08-17-2010, 04:33 AM:
If you can't make it good, make it in 3D"
Posted by Ian Parfrey (Member # 5122) on 08-17-2010, 06:03 AM:
If it don't fit, don't faucet
Posted by Frank Angel (Member # 248) on 08-17-2010, 11:27 AM:
Sarah.
Life is tough; it's even tougher when your stupid.
Posted by Mike Blakesley (Member # 26) on 08-17-2010, 11:32 AM:
Never let your mother brush your hair when she's mad at your dad.
Posted by Joe Elliott (Member # 4006) on 08-17-2010, 12:49 PM:
Keep the Dream Alive, Use the Snooze Button.
Posted by Mark J. Marshall (Member # 1409) on 08-17-2010, 01:33 PM:
I'm posting here.
Posted by Phil Hill (Member # 371) on 08-17-2010, 08:09 PM:
Janet!
Dr. Scott!
Janet!
Brad!
Rocky!
Janet!
Dr. Scott!
Janet!
Brad!
Rocky!
Posted by Paul Mayer (Member # 355) on 08-17-2010, 10:37 PM:
Ah Wednesday in Mira Mesa, and San Marcos, and Rancho del Rey...
Posted by John Wilson (Member # 269) on 08-18-2010, 12:29 AM:
Janet!
Dr. Scott!
Janet!
Brad!
Rocky!
Janet!
Dr. Scott!
Janet!
Brad!
Rocky!
Posted by Joe Elliott (Member # 4006) on 08-18-2010, 08:24 AM:
Oh Yes yes, I know...but it isn't all bad, is it? Not even half bad, I think you really quite enjoyed it.
Posted by Frank Angel (Member # 248) on 08-19-2010, 06:33 AM:
Mmmmmmm.....
Ah, sweet my of life at last I've found you....
Posted by Mike Blakesley (Member # 26) on 08-19-2010, 07:06 AM:
Any more beans, Mr. Taggart?
Posted by Randy Stankey (Member # 64) on 08-19-2010, 08:36 AM:
I'd say you've had enough!
Posted by Joe Elliott (Member # 4006) on 08-19-2010, 12:05 PM:
Has anyone seen Waldo? I'm beginning to get concerned.
Posted by Tony Bandiera Jr (Member # 2365) on 08-19-2010, 01:10 PM:
Just spent 13 hours doing a tune-up at a 17-plex yesterday..upgraded 7 screens to CP-650's.
Posted by Paul Mayer (Member # 355) on 08-20-2010, 10:55 PM:
After spending most of my summer installing Sony 322's, lately including RealD, I finally got to install my first Barco and XL screen (in Escondido)...
Posted by Joe Elliott (Member # 4006) on 08-21-2010, 12:46 PM:
The sun and you and me and all the stars that we can see
Are moving at a million miles a day
In an outer spiral arm, at forty thousand miles an hour,
Of the galaxy we call the 'Milky Way'.
Posted by Aaron Garman (Member # 1653) on 08-22-2010, 10:08 PM:
Posted by Randy Stankey (Member # 64) on 08-23-2010, 10:49 AM:
AVIATION RULES AND REMINDERS
* Takeoff's are optional. Landings are mandatory.
* If you push the stick forward, the houses get bigger, if you pull the stick back they get smaller. Unless you keep pulling the stick back...then they get bigger again.
* Flying is not dangerous; crashing is dangerous.
* The propeller is just a big fan in the front of the plane to keep the pilot cool. Want proof? Make it stop; then watch the pilot break out into a sweat.
* The only time you have too much fuel is when you're on fire.
* Every one already knows the definition of a 'good' landing is one from which you can walk away. But very few know the definition of a 'great landing.' It's one after which you can use the airplane another time.
* The probability of survival is inversely proportional to the angle of arrival.
* A helicopter is a collection of rotating parts going round and round and reciprocating parts going up and down -- all of them trying to become random in motion. Helicopters can't really fly -- they're just so ugly that the earth immediately repels them.
* Learn from the mistakes of others. You won't live long enough to make all of them yourself.
* There are three simple rules for making a smooth landing: Unfortunately, no one knows what they are.
* The only thing worse than a captain who never flew as co-pilot is a co-pilot who once was a captain.
* It's easy to make a small fortune in aviation. You start with a large fortune.
* A male pilot is a confused soul who talks about women when he's flying, and about flying when he's with a woman.
* Try to keep the number of your landings equal to the number of your takeoffs.
* Asking what a pilot thinks about CASA is like asking a fire hydrant what it thinks about dogs.
Posted by Frank Angel (Member # 248) on 08-23-2010, 11:57 AM:
The egg recall has now spred to 10,000,000,000 eggs.
Who knew there were that many eggs on the entire planet?!
Posted by Chris Slycord (Member # 4239) on 08-23-2010, 12:17 PM:
And if you cook them properly, it doesn't matter that there's salmonella.
And it always bugged me that "salmon" is pronounced "sam + un" whereas "salmonella" is pronounced "sal + mun + ella." Apparently, it's because the bacteria was named after the guy who discovered it...
Posted by Frank Angel (Member # 248) on 08-23-2010, 12:19 PM:
Yah, he was Italian and a good friend of mine. Sal Monella.
And as Will Rogers once said in his later senior years, "I never met a Mucil I didn't like."
Posted by Chris Slycord (Member # 4239) on 08-23-2010, 01:00 PM:
While I know you were joking, it was named after Daniel Elmer Salmon... even if his assistant actually made the discovery.
Posted by Frank Angel (Member # 248) on 08-23-2010, 06:19 PM:
And then there's Mr. Sal Monrushti -- poor man is always looking over his shoulder.
Posted by Joe Elliott (Member # 4006) on 08-25-2010, 02:55 AM:
Those not ruled by the rudder will be ruled by the rocks.
Posted by Paul Mayer (Member # 355) on 08-26-2010, 12:08 AM:
Aviation in itself is not inherently dangerous
But to an even greater degree than the sea
It is terribly unforgiving
Of any carelessness, incapacity, or neglect.
Posted by Paul Mayer (Member # 355) on 08-26-2010, 12:09 AM:
Aviation in itself is not inherently dangerous
But to an even greater extent than the sea
It is terribly unforgiving
Of any carelessness, incapacity, or neglect.
Posted by Ian Parfrey (Member # 5122) on 08-26-2010, 12:15 AM:
Don't forget poor Mr Argus Tuft. Not many like him around.
Posted by Paul Mayer (Member # 355) on 08-26-2010, 03:51 PM:
If it was Tuesday it was Sonora, CA...
Posted by Joe Elliott (Member # 4006) on 09-01-2010, 10:31 AM:
Our galaxy itself contains a hundred billion stars.
It's a hundred thousand light years side to side.
It bulges in the middle, sixteen thousand light years thick,
But out by us, it's just three thousand light years wide.
Posted by Paul Mayer (Member # 355) on 09-02-2010, 01:59 AM:
This week touring Visalia, Sonora (again), and Auburn, CA.
Posted by Tony Bandiera Jr (Member # 2365) on 09-02-2010, 01:22 PM:
If it was Wednesday it was San Louis Obispo CA. and a thirteen hour installation/EQ marathon. (Hi Clint and thanks for the breakout boards and help!!)
Now, if someone can tell me why my UC Irvine Screening room pics I sent in on the 8th of August haven't been put in the picture warehouse yet, and yet the people who screwed over Scott Norwood had pics posted....the mysteries of life.
Posted by Paul Mayer (Member # 355) on 09-06-2010, 12:14 PM:
Ahh, a week off! Maybe going back to La Jolla this week to visit cousin and her family...
Back to the routine next week with six 3D machines to install in Marina del Rey...
Posted by Tony Bandiera Jr (Member # 2365) on 09-18-2010, 03:45 PM:
Where the hell is Phil Hill? I haven't seen any posts from him in almost a month..hope he is o.k.
Posted by Frank Angel (Member # 248) on 09-18-2010, 03:55 PM:
As god is my waitress, I'll never be hungry again.
Posted by Manny Knowles (Member # 1171) on 09-19-2010, 10:05 AM:
Why is Tony Bandiera "lucky to be alive" ??
Posted by Tony Bandiera Jr (Member # 2365) on 09-19-2010, 01:05 PM:
Well Manny, I have had two bouts with blood clots (first time was nearly fatal, doc said 98% of folks who had what I had happen die instantly) and now I am developing problems with my heart. So, so far I am lucky but wondering when it's gonna run out...
In fact my profile pic here was taken when I was clotting for the second time which is why I look so pale.
Posted by Manny Knowles (Member # 1171) on 09-19-2010, 04:46 PM:
Yikes!
Well, here's hoping your lucky streak continues!
Posted by Tony Bandiera Jr (Member # 2365) on 09-19-2010, 04:54 PM:
Yikes indeed.
And thank you for your kind words.
Posted by Paul Mayer (Member # 355) on 09-20-2010, 01:04 AM:
I take it you're on some kind of blood thinning medication Tony?
Yes, may your "lucky streak" continue!
As for me, I'm off to Nampa and Boise, ID tomorrow. More Sony's and Barco's await.
"We'll be here all week folks. Try the veal."
Posted by Tony Bandiera Jr (Member # 2365) on 09-20-2010, 01:09 PM:
Yes indeed Paul, I'm on Coumadin (Warfarin, also known as the active ingredient in rat poison!) as well as 162mg of aspirin for my heart. I will be on the Coumadin for the rest of my life.
Have fun in Boise...I was in Sandpointe many years ago (okay about 8) to do some work at the Panida theatre.
quote: Greg Anderson
What is truly amazing is that the first incarnation of this contest took over six months to complete! Somehow, it didn't seem like that much time had passed.
And here we are almost another year later, and we still have 456 posts to go...then Brad will lock this one and start Part 3.
Posted by Paul Mayer (Member # 355) on 09-22-2010, 01:39 AM:
I used to live in Hawthorne, on Doty just south of El Segundo Blvd. Back in the mid-80's when being in the SoCal aerospace industry was fun and profitable.
455 to go...
Posted by Frank Angel (Member # 248) on 09-22-2010, 05:13 AM:
Why men are happier than women.
Your last name stays put.
The garage is all yours.
Wedding plans take care of themselves.
Chocolate is just another snack.
You can be President.
You can be a Priest
You can never be pregnant.
You can wear a white T-shirt to a water park.
You can wear NO shirt to a water park.
The world is your urinal.
You never have to drive to another gas station restroom because this one is just too icky.
You don't have to stop and think of which way to turn a nut on a bolt.
Same work, more pay.
Wrinkles add character.
Wedding dress $6000. Tux rental-$100.
People never stare at your chest when you're talking to them.
The occasional well-rendered belch is practically expected.
New shoes don't cut, blister, or mangle your feet.
One mood all the time.
Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat.
A five-day vacation requires only one suitcase.
You can open all your own jars.
You get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness.
If someone forgets to invite you, he can still be your friend.
Your underwear is $8.95 for a three-pack.
Three pairs of shoes are more than enough.
You never have strap problems in public.
You are unable to see wrinkles in your clothes.
The same hairstyle lasts for years, maybe decades.
You only have to shave your face and neck.
You can play with toys all your life.
Your belly usually hides your big hips.
One wallet and one pair of shoes one color for all seasons.
You can wear shorts no matter how your legs look.
You can "do" your nails with a pocket knife.
You have freedom of choice concerning growing a mustache.
You can do Christmas shopping for 25 relatives on December 24 in 25 minutes.
And lastly, you don't have to LOVE someone to have really great sex, in fact, you don't even have to know their name.
Posted by Tony Bandiera Jr (Member # 2365) on 09-22-2010, 11:50 AM:
quote: Paul Mayer
I used to live in Hawthorne, on Doty just south of El Segundo Blvd. Back in the mid-80's when being in the SoCal aerospace industry was fun and profitable.
455 to go...
Small world Paul..I am North of El Segundo Blvd. and Freeman. Only a few blocks from where you were.
453 to go...
Posted by John Wilson (Member # 269) on 09-22-2010, 03:40 PM:
I laughed at quite a few of those, Frank.
Posted by Richard Hamilton (Member # 321) on 09-22-2010, 04:03 PM:
quote: Tony Bandiera Jr
Where the hell is Phil Hill?
Tony I was wondering the same ![[Confused]](confused.gif)
Rick
Posted by Tony Bandiera Jr (Member # 2365) on 09-22-2010, 04:30 PM:
I just sent Phil an email so hopefully he'll pop up on here again soon.
Posted by Jarret Chessell (Member # 5077) on 09-22-2010, 08:10 PM:
Phil will probably pop up before he checks his email or logs on to film-tech....
449...
Posted by John Wilson (Member # 269) on 09-22-2010, 09:00 PM:
He will now, Jarret.
Posted by Frank Angel (Member # 248) on 09-24-2010, 06:17 AM:
Did you know....it is impossible to fold a piece of paper in half more than 7 times?
Posted by Hillary Charles (Member # 769) on 09-24-2010, 09:10 AM:
quote: Frank Angel
Did you know....it is impossible to fold a piece of paper in half more than 7 times?
Yes, unless you're the MYTHBUSTERS and have a really BIG piece of paper.
Posted by Randy Stankey (Member # 64) on 09-24-2010, 11:22 AM:
That's not a fair test. And, in fact, I think it PROVES the hypothesis more than it disproves it.
In order to fold the paper more than 7 times they had to use a football field sized piece of paper. They enlarged the parameters of the experiment to ensure that their experiment would succeed. Even then, they had a hard time getting the 7th and subsequent folds. They had to use a forklift and a steam roller.
It's like Kirk reprogramming the kobayashi maru and claiming that he won.
Posted by Mike Blakesley (Member # 26) on 09-24-2010, 11:39 AM:
If they had really used a STEAM roller that would have been much more fun to watch.
Posted by Randy Stankey (Member # 64) on 09-24-2010, 11:57 AM:
They might have even gotten another couple-three folds in!
Posted by Mike Blakesley (Member # 26) on 09-24-2010, 12:02 PM:
Here's a fun thing to do with staff. You'll need 6 people for this.
Bet the staffers that a person can be lifted using just five fingers.
Have one person stand still. Then have the five other people each place one finger under the person's elbows, feet and chin. The five fingers can lift the person easily.
Posted by Frank Angel (Member # 248) on 09-24-2010, 01:38 PM:
quote: Randy Stankey
That's not a fair test. And, in fact, I think it PROVES the hypothesis more than it disproves it.
Na na na na, Randy, you can't change the hypothesis -- there were no qualifiers in the original statement -- it says you can't fold a piece of paper more than 7 times -- period. No limitations or definitions of what kind of paper or how big.
I think you could probably bust the myth if you used that very very thin paper they used to make carbon copies or the tissue paper they use to wrap clothing in at department stores or even large piece of toilet tissue-type paper. If you could get a piece paper that thin the size of a say a 3-sheet, you probably could fold that more than seven times too and without a forklift.
You couldn't then come a long after the fact and say, oh no, you can't use very thin tissue paper. The original proposition doesn't say you can't use tissue paper or you can't use paper the size of a football field. So they do legitimately bust the myth.
Posted by Randy Stankey (Member # 64) on 09-24-2010, 04:06 PM:
In principle, I agree with you. No parameters were specified in the beginning so it allows the "experimenter" more leeway but I think there are some assumptions that apply.
In fact, if you look closely, you'll see that the "piece" of paper they used in that experiment was made from several long strips of paper (from a roll) taped together.
Basically, Mythbusters is reducing the experiment to the level of a bar bet:
"You can't fold a piece of paper in half more than seven times UNLESS you start with a very, very large piece of paper the size of a football field OR unless you start with a microscopically thin piece of paper."
Now, if they asked the question: "How large (or thin) does a piece of paper have to be before you can fold it in half more than 7 times?"
I would have been more inclined to agree with the results.
It's still just like Kirk beating the kobayashi maru.
Nobody said you can't reprogram the computer. Did they? It's the same thing.
Posted by Richard Garbarini (Member # 5709) on 09-25-2010, 09:19 AM:
I win
Posted by Elise Brandt (Member # 5552) on 09-25-2010, 10:09 AM:
Unbelievable. That Mythbusters episode just aired in Finland about a week ago and I'm still itching to try it. I'm stubborn, and not convinced it can't be done unless I try. And find a very thin piece of paper to try on... since I don't get the airline hangar approach, I'll have to do with what I get. I'm also betting that the tape that they used to attatch those strips of paper together didn't help matters much.
Posted by Paul Mayer (Member # 355) on 09-26-2010, 05:31 PM:
After a weekend off from the land of the Smurf fields, turning around and heading for Sacramento and Stockton.
437 and counting...
Posted by John Wilson (Member # 269) on 09-26-2010, 06:58 PM:
Albatross.
Posted by Paul Mayer (Member # 355) on 09-26-2010, 07:21 PM:
African or European?
Posted by Joe Elliott (Member # 4006) on 09-26-2010, 10:57 PM:
I don't know . . . . . Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhh
Posted by Paul Mayer (Member # 355) on 10-01-2010, 08:20 AM:
Flying back from SMF today...
Flying to OAK Sunday...
Posted by Manny Knowles (Member # 1171) on 10-01-2010, 02:00 PM:
Did I win? Did I win?
Posted by Robert John Jeromson (Member # 2559) on 10-01-2010, 04:22 PM:
No, sorry
Posted by Paul Mayer (Member # 355) on 10-01-2010, 05:16 PM:
Zonk
Posted by Tony Bandiera Jr (Member # 2365) on 10-01-2010, 11:40 PM:
quote: Paul Mayer
African or European?
If European I hope you're standing at the toilet.
Posted by Paul Mayer (Member # 355) on 10-03-2010, 02:57 AM:
If it's Sunday, it must be Oakland...
Posted by Manny Knowles (Member # 1171) on 10-04-2010, 08:24 AM:
Time for a haircut.
Posted by Paul Mayer (Member # 355) on 10-06-2010, 01:59 AM:
If it's Wednesday it must be San Ramon...
Posted by Ian Parfrey (Member # 5122) on 10-06-2010, 03:58 AM:
'It's a Gazotskie Film!'
Posted by Manny Knowles (Member # 1171) on 10-06-2010, 09:41 AM:
You care about my fiber!?
Posted by Richard Hamilton (Member # 321) on 10-06-2010, 09:59 AM:
But wait, if you order now, we'll double the order, just pay separate shipping and handling!
Posted by Randy Stankey (Member # 64) on 10-06-2010, 10:08 AM:
But that's not all!...
Posted by Mike Blakesley (Member # 26) on 10-06-2010, 10:54 AM:
Please enjoy the music while your party is being reached.
Posted by Manny Knowles (Member # 1171) on 10-06-2010, 11:01 AM:
Hi, this is [name]. I can't come to the phone right now but, if you leave your name, number and a brief message, I'll get back to you as soon as I can.
Show of hands - how many of us still need these instructions?
But, then...what to do instead..?
Posted by Randy Stankey (Member # 64) on 10-06-2010, 11:17 AM:
"Hi! If you know who this is, then you know what to do." ....... BEEP!
Posted by Manny Knowles (Member # 1171) on 10-06-2010, 12:46 PM:
I'm screening calls right now. If you're special, maybe I'll pick up!
Posted by David Stambaugh (Member # 1102) on 10-06-2010, 01:09 PM:
"You know if Manny flipped his picture around that sprinkler in the ceiling would look like a changeover cue on a frame of film"
Posted by Manny Knowles (Member # 1171) on 10-06-2010, 01:25 PM:
Mynocks! Chewing on the power couplings...
Posted by Randy Stankey (Member # 64) on 10-06-2010, 01:42 PM:
No, you're just looking at the image through the base side.
Posted by Mike Blakesley (Member # 26) on 10-06-2010, 01:49 PM:
Your call will be answered in the order it was received.
Posted by Manny Knowles (Member # 1171) on 10-06-2010, 02:00 PM:
Your call may be monitored to ensure the highest level of customer service!
Wow! The HIGHEST level? For me? Really?
Posted by Ian Parfrey (Member # 5122) on 10-06-2010, 03:20 PM:
Your call is important to us so we're going to ignore you anyway.
Posted by Randy Stankey (Member # 64) on 10-06-2010, 03:33 PM:
We're so big we don't have to care.
Posted by Joe Elliott (Member # 4006) on 10-06-2010, 08:09 PM:
Hello, you have reached the IRS, you are caller 10,532. Estimated hold time is 13 minutes.
40 minutes later . . . .
Hello, you have reached the IRS, you are caller 10,489. Estimated hold time is 12 minutes.
. . .
Oh, and thanks David, now that you pointed it out, I'm going to notice that dot in Manny's picture every time I see it. You've just ruined every posting that I am every going to see.
Posted by Clint Koch (Member # 1179) on 10-06-2010, 08:26 PM:
RC Cola and a Moon Pie
Posted by Paul Mayer (Member # 355) on 10-07-2010, 12:09 AM:
Sounds like Brother Dave Gardner has been by here...
* * * * *
"Whenever possible, put people on hold."
Posted by Randy Stankey (Member # 64) on 10-07-2010, 01:35 AM:
Whenever there's a job you don't want to do, lose the paperwork.
Posted by Manny Knowles (Member # 1171) on 10-07-2010, 07:24 AM:
"They don't look like Presbyterians to me!"
-- Fozzie Bear to Kermit, upon seeing Dr. Teeth and the Electric Mayhem performing in an abandoned church. From "The Muppet Movie"
Posted by Paul Mayer (Member # 355) on 10-07-2010, 08:20 AM:
"There's no fun in killing soloists!"
Back in LAS for a few...
Posted by Manny Knowles (Member # 1171) on 10-08-2010, 07:57 AM:
I hate my new bifocals. Been wearing them almost a month now and what I hate most about them is that they have "sweet spots." It's so bad that I literally have to move my head side-to-side to read.
Posted by Kenneth Wuepper (Member # 1174) on 10-08-2010, 08:47 AM:
Manny,
I hear your pain!
If you get a pair of regular bifocals with the line in them, you will have a better time than with the "blended" type. The line is not good for looks but the entire lower part of the lens is the same so there are no "sweet Spots" in them.
I am up to trifocals and they are the blended type. You get a lot of neck exercise with them also.
KEN
Posted by Manny Knowles (Member # 1171) on 10-08-2010, 11:47 AM:
I'm sending in my old pair to have them made as a standard pair, with no bifocal.
BTW what do I win for being the last person to post here??
Posted by Paul Mayer (Member # 355) on 10-08-2010, 12:12 PM:
Brad, tell Manny what he's won!
I still have my last pair of vision therapy tri-focals that I used when flying at night - lower third for the panel, middle third for distance, upper third for the overhead panel. Not blended. Didn't have to crank my head up and down quite as much. Still look funny though.
Posted by Manny Knowles (Member # 1171) on 10-08-2010, 02:07 PM:
Does anyone here still use Vitalis?
Posted by Paul Mayer (Member # 355) on 10-09-2010, 12:05 AM:
Brylcreem and Jade East...
Posted by Ian Parfrey (Member # 5122) on 10-09-2010, 05:15 AM:
.. a little dab'll do ya.
Posted by Joe Elliott (Member # 4006) on 10-09-2010, 10:15 AM:
Insanity doesn't run in my family . . . it gallops.
Posted by Paul Mayer (Member # 355) on 10-10-2010, 11:14 PM:
I've lost my mind. Such a little thing to be out on its own.
Posted by Randy Stankey (Member # 64) on 10-10-2010, 11:47 PM:
Canadians are your friends... unless you have the puck!
Posted by Manny Knowles (Member # 1171) on 10-11-2010, 05:02 PM:
Blame Canada!
Posted by Paul Mayer (Member # 355) on 10-12-2010, 02:14 AM:
Ey?
Posted by Manny Knowles (Member # 1171) on 10-12-2010, 02:45 PM:
eh?
Posted by Randy Stankey (Member # 64) on 10-12-2010, 06:49 PM:
The roof! The roof!
The roof is on fire!
We don't need no water let the motherfucker burn!
Burn, motherfucker! Burn!
Posted by Manny Knowles (Member # 1171) on 10-12-2010, 06:52 PM:
...someone just had a flashback...
Posted by Frank Angel (Member # 248) on 10-14-2010, 10:13 AM:
Posted by Paul Mayer (Member # 355) on 10-15-2010, 11:32 AM:
Righto. Righto.
Damn it, get off my right toe!
Posted by Richard Hamilton (Member # 321) on 10-15-2010, 01:05 PM:
Frank, when I was going through my divorce, I was working for a temp service when I was in town. My child support was automatically taken out of my paycheck. I would pick up my check at the temp agency, who knew my situation. I told them I wanted a check every week regardless of the amount, (I knew it would always be nothing). One week, they delivered the checks to the plating factory I was working at. My boss, who was very cool just handed me my check, shook his head and said he was sorry. The amount was for zero dollars. Over 40 hours and I didn't earn enough to pay for my gas to and from work. I think my biggest check was about $50 bucks with 20 - 30 hours overtime.
Posted by Paul Mayer (Member # 355) on 10-16-2010, 01:17 AM:
If it's Sunday it must be Philadelphia, PA, or at least Wayne...
Posted by Joe Elliott (Member # 4006) on 10-18-2010, 12:50 AM:
I know Halloween must be near because the stores are putting up Christmas decorations.
-edit-
Found a better one, at least for those of us in the U.S.
Celebrate Columbus day this year by breaking into someone's house and claiming it for your own!
Posted by Manny Knowles (Member # 1171) on 10-18-2010, 06:02 PM:
when will it end?
Posted by Paul Mayer (Member # 355) on 10-19-2010, 06:23 PM:
Tomorrow, when I return to the hole in the desert known as Sin City...
Posted by Paul Mayer (Member # 355) on 10-20-2010, 09:38 AM:
Just passing Indianapolis and posting from 30,000' (FL300) just because I can...
Posted by Manny Knowles (Member # 1171) on 10-20-2010, 09:50 AM:
That reminds me - need to locate the Costco...
Posted by Paul Mayer (Member # 355) on 10-20-2010, 09:58 AM:
Just crossed the Mississippi...
Posted by Manny Knowles (Member # 1171) on 10-20-2010, 10:27 AM:
Frank -- what's the deal with that funky check??
Richard -- how did you get by??
Posted by Tony Bandiera Jr (Member # 2365) on 10-20-2010, 02:35 PM:
Still here....unfortunately.
Posted by Manny Knowles (Member # 1171) on 10-20-2010, 04:22 PM:
no wire hangers -- ever!
Posted by William T. Parr (Member # 677) on 10-21-2010, 07:29 AM:
Dang I still have not won! WTH?
Posted by Manny Knowles (Member # 1171) on 10-21-2010, 08:44 AM:
sigh
neither have i
Posted by Richard Hamilton (Member # 321) on 10-21-2010, 11:17 AM:
quote: Manny Knowles
Richard -- how did you get by??
Manny, Luckily my parents have been very supportive. I owe them about 40 - 50k. I give them any extra money when I can. Divorce is a bitch named Suzanne. When i got divorced/separated, I was ordered to pay almost $400 a week. Had to sell all my shit and move back home with my parents. I still owe my ex about 30k in back support plus the weekly payments, I figure I'll have to pay her forever. She's getting re-married in a few months, so now I pay her and her husband to be.
Rick
Hamilton Technical Services
Did I win?
Posted by Randy Stankey (Member # 64) on 10-21-2010, 11:43 AM:
quote: Richard Hamilton was the last to post
Did I win?
I'll tell you later.
Posted by Paul Mayer (Member # 355) on 10-21-2010, 01:23 PM:
If you have to ask, you didn't.
Posted by Manny Knowles (Member # 1171) on 10-21-2010, 06:11 PM:
i thought when the ex got married, u didnt have to pay anymore. no?
Posted by William T. Parr (Member # 677) on 10-22-2010, 07:13 AM:
quote: Manny Knowles
i thought when the ex got married, u didnt have to pay anymore. no?
That is usually determined by the state laws where the divorce was finalized and what was written in the divorce decree and weteher or not children are involved. Here i n Texas the spouse can only get child support and half of the assest accurred during the marriage. There is, or at least was no alamony payment.
Posted by Richard Hamilton (Member # 321) on 10-22-2010, 08:40 AM:
quote: Manny Knowles
i thought when the ex got married, u didnt have to pay anymore. no?
Unfortunately, I'll be paying the same amount for years even after the kids are 18. I owe her the back support.
Rick
Sometimes life sucks, but I don't dwell on it. I just drink more.
Posted by Frank Angel (Member # 248) on 10-22-2010, 11:32 AM:
Why isn't there any mouse-flavored cat food with big chunks of savory parakeet?
Posted by Manny Knowles (Member # 1171) on 10-22-2010, 01:37 PM:
Not this again.
Posted by Tony Bandiera Jr (Member # 2365) on 10-22-2010, 02:07 PM:
Yep, this again.
366 to go...
Posted by Paul Mayer (Member # 355) on 10-22-2010, 05:39 PM:
She: I can't see!
He: There's nothing to see really. We're inside a Chinese dragon.
P-365
Posted by Manny Knowles (Member # 1171) on 10-23-2010, 08:41 PM:
What's the opposite of "Easy-Off" ???
Posted by Clint Koch (Member # 1179) on 10-23-2010, 09:22 PM:
hard on?
Posted by Tony Bandiera Jr (Member # 2365) on 10-23-2010, 09:23 PM:
Duh, "Hard On"
Otherwise known as man's best friend....and woman's worst enemy!!
Edit: Clint beat me to it...wait, that didn't come out right..wait....aw hell.
quote: David Stambaugh
"You know if Manny flipped his picture around that sprinkler in the ceiling would look like a changeover cue on a frame of film"
Here ya go:
Posted by Manny Knowles (Member # 1171) on 10-24-2010, 08:44 PM:
sigh -- another weekend slipping away...
Posted by Ian Parfrey (Member # 5122) on 10-25-2010, 04:22 AM:
I'm confused.
We have a Manny with a 'scope changeover dot: and yet he himself is inside an approx 2:3 frame.
My guess is that this is a frame clipped from a split screen scene and Manny's frame is from the screen-right panel of said split screen.
What say you?
Posted by Tony Bandiera Jr (Member # 2365) on 10-25-2010, 12:22 PM:
Actually it is a distorted frame grab from a 'scope print, run it through your anamorphic and it'll be fine.
Posted by Manny Knowles (Member # 1171) on 10-25-2010, 12:27 PM:
It helps that I'm skinny. I'll look normal in scope.
Posted by Paul Mayer (Member # 355) on 10-25-2010, 12:48 PM:
Too fat for flat!
Posted by Tony Bandiera Jr (Member # 2365) on 10-25-2010, 12:52 PM:
I'm too ugly for film anyways.
Posted by Manny Knowles (Member # 1171) on 10-25-2010, 04:34 PM:
Too Fat for Flat -- awesome!
Posted by Tony Bandiera Jr (Member # 2365) on 10-25-2010, 04:58 PM:
I knew a guy who was too fat for Vistavision!!
Posted by Paul Mayer (Member # 355) on 10-25-2010, 11:27 PM:
I get to stay in NV this week - Sin City and Laughlin...
Posted by Richard Hamilton (Member # 321) on 10-26-2010, 06:31 AM:
so Paul, do you gamble? I used to have a problem, but I was losing too much and it was interfering with my ability to buy beer. When they opened the casino here in Evansville, I knew I was in trouble. I got a line of credit and the workers knew me. I would just walk up to the craps table and the pit boss would ask me how much I needed, I'd sign a piece of paper and they would give me a few hundred in chips.
Posted by Manny Knowles (Member # 1171) on 10-26-2010, 08:40 AM:
I grew up in The Bahamas -- we have casinos but it's illegal for locals to gamble there.
Posted by Richard Hamilton (Member # 321) on 10-26-2010, 09:14 AM:
quote: Manny Knowles
I grew up in The Bahamas
So what are you doing in the middle of Indiana? I have family members and friends that graduated from IU. I can't recall how many times I passed out there. One night my friends left me passed out in a stairway at the dorms with a post it note stuck to my forehead with the address of where I was staying. Way too much partying in the 80's. I think Kerasotes had some theaters in Bloomington that I serviced when I worked for them.
Rick
Posted by Randy Stankey (Member # 64) on 10-26-2010, 09:52 AM:
I enjoy gambling on occasion. Craps is my favorite game. Maybe some blackjack.
We have a casino in town but I have been there only once. I'm sorry... Once you have been to Vegas and shot dice at Binion's, there is just no place else that compares. Atmosphere and tradition are as important to the game as the game, itself.
I look at gambling the way I look at going out to dinner at a fancy restaurant or going out to the movies. It's a "night out." I have a particular amount of money to spend. Once I reach my limit or get tired, it's time to go home.
If I went to a restaurant and I got bad food, I would certainly complain but, if I didn't get satisfaction, I certainly wouldn't order another plate of the same thing. If I went to the theater and saw a crummy movie I certainly wouldn't turn around and buy another ticket to the same show, hoping that it would be better the next time. That would be throwing good money after bad. And the first rule of gambling is just that: "Never throw good money after bad."
So, why would anybody walk into a casino and overspend their "entertainment budget" thinking that just one more hand of blackjack or just one more round of craps is going to make a difference. If you're having a crummy night at the tables there's nothing you can do to change that. Go home and don't throw good money after bad!
Whatever your budget is, $100 or $1,000 or whatever you have to spend, walk in EXPECTING to spend that much money. When the money is gone, it's time to go home. If you win some, great! If you lose some, no problem if you knew the odds when you started.
To sit there and throw chip after chip onto a "cold table" is just stupidity, as far as I am concerned.
Posted by Manny Knowles (Member # 1171) on 10-26-2010, 10:29 AM:
quote: Richard Hamilton
So what are you doing in the middle of Indiana?
Los Angeles is waay too expensive. It was doable while I was a student, with Uncle Sam helping me make ends meet. But when I did the math, it became clear that I'd be underwater immediately after graduation...and it'd be too long before I'd end up in the right tax bracket.
EVERYBODY I know out there is deep in consumer debt. Nobody can afford to buy a home there (even now). And they're all stressed out because there's no job security.
And there's no job security because there aren't enough jobs to go around. There are a lot of talented people WITH EXPERIENCE who are willing to work cheap "just to keep working" so the standard of living is in the toilet. There's a great divide between the super-rich and everybody else. What appears to be a middle-class is really a debt-ridden lower-class.
Everyone I know has more than one job and is afraid to take time off because they're so deep in debt and they never know where the next paycheck is coming from. And there's the philosophy that "work begets work" and "unemployment begets unemployment." And, so, like sharks, everybody is compelled to keep moving, lest they end up dead in the water.
One semester, I had SEVEN part-time jobs...plus grad school. Most semesters I had 2 part-time jobs (plus school). Either way, I was out of my house about 13 hours a day. That's uncivilized.
I also loathed the fact that (more often than not) I was working on lame movies that I would never choose to watch. That's not the kind of "show biz" career I wanted.
Personally, I plan to retire with my sanity intact and money in the bank, so no part of that lifestyle seemed right for me. Nobody I knew there had a savings account. Most checking accounts were overdrawn.
I have a good friend there, and whenever I'd get to talking to him about my feelings on the whole situation, his face would start to twitch. He knew exactly what I was talking about, but I could tell he wasn't quite ready to deal with it. Oh well, he's a little younger. Maybe time is on his side.
A former business associate and long-time friend recommended me for the Technical Manager position at the new IU Cinema (still under construction) and I got the gig. I decided to take the plunge because I like what they are trying to do here. They're making every effort to do film right, including THX certification, which will make IU Cinema one of only 2 such installations in the entire state.
quote: Richard Hamilton
I have family members and friends that graduated from IU. I can't recall how many times I passed out there. One night my friends left me passed out in a stairway at the dorms with a post it note stuck to my forehead with the address of where I was staying. Way too much partying in the 80's.
I've never been drunk. The alcohol in my house is for cooking.
quote: Richard Hamilton
I think Kerasotes had some theaters in Bloomington that I serviced when I worked for them.
The two Kerasotes are now owned by AMC - The Showplace 12 near the highway has a digital screen which always seems to have a 3D movie running. The Showplace 11 (on College Mall) is closer to my house but it seems a little older.
BTW both screenings I've been to suffered from some kind of operator error. Wrong movie started in the digital house at the Showplace 12, and the 3D was too dim. Wrong masking at the Showplace 11. My former boss had a saying: "pay peanuts, get monkeys."
Posted by Tony Bandiera Jr (Member # 2365) on 10-26-2010, 01:48 PM:
quote: Manny Knowles
Los Angeles is waay too expensive. It was doable while I was a student, with Uncle Sam helping me make ends meet. But when I did the math, it became clear that I'd be underwater immediately after graduation...and it'd be too long before I'd end up in the right tax bracket.
EVERYBODY I know out there is deep in consumer debt. Nobody can afford to buy a home there (even now). And they're all stressed out because there's no job security.
And there's no job security because there aren't enough jobs to go around. There are a lot of talented people WITH EXPERIENCE who are willing to work cheap "just to keep working" so the standard of living is in the toilet. There's a great divide between the super-rich and everybody else. What appears to be a middle-class is really a debt-ridden lower-class.
Everyone I know has more than one job and is afraid to take time off because they're so deep in debt and they never know where the next paycheck is coming from. And there's the philosophy that "work begets work" and "unemployment begets unemployment." And, so, like sharks, everybody is compelled to keep moving, lest they end up dead in the water.
Wow, Manny, a thousand thanks for summing up the reality of La La Land..this is exactly why I am shutting down my business.
I can add to that the ridiculous taxes and fees that small businesses have to pay, even if they are not turning a profit!
Unfortunately my only out-of-state relative is living in Vegas, so it would not be wise to try to move out there either, without a guaranteed job..one of my former bosses has a business in Vegas providing techs for live shows and even his business is down this past year or so.
I am at a loss as to what to do at the moment.
To end this on a lighter note, I have only one thing to say:
BOOBIES!!
Posted by Manny Knowles (Member # 1171) on 10-26-2010, 03:40 PM:
Boobies indeed.
Boobies for everyone!
Posted by Richard Hamilton (Member # 321) on 10-26-2010, 05:12 PM:
gotta love the bloodhound gang . Great CD, but I could not play it while the kids were in the car. I got in trouble when the kids knew the lyrics to "The Ballad of Chasey Lain"
Posted by Manny Knowles (Member # 1171) on 10-27-2010, 10:15 AM:
um...your kids knew the words to THAT !!???
Posted by Paul Mayer (Member # 355) on 10-30-2010, 01:20 PM:
Other than once in a great while making an offering to the Megabucks god, and once in an even greater while making an offering to the Powerball god, no, I don't gamble.
Boobies in Las Vegas? I miss the Playpen apartments here, where lots of show kids lived. Those apartments featured private topless sunbathing where the show kids could work on their tans without getting tan lines.
If it's Sunday, it must be Westminster! Hello Litle Saigon...
Posted by Joe Elliott (Member # 4006) on 10-31-2010, 12:38 AM:
The question isn't who's going to let me . . .
The question is who is going to stop me . . .
Posted by Manny Knowles (Member # 1171) on 10-31-2010, 01:16 AM:
I know he can GET the job...
...but can he DO the job!?
Posted by Tony Bandiera Jr (Member # 2365) on 10-31-2010, 01:25 PM:
Depends on what kind of job we're talking about!
Posted by Manny Knowles (Member # 1171) on 11-01-2010, 05:13 AM:
I think it still applies. Don't you?
Posted by Tony Bandiera Jr (Member # 2365) on 11-03-2010, 11:00 PM:
Yep. 339 to go...
Posted by Paul Mayer (Member # 355) on 11-05-2010, 08:21 AM:
Was in Antioch yesterday. Couldn't find the Holy Hand Grenade...
Posted by Manny Knowles (Member # 1171) on 11-05-2010, 10:41 AM:
I got yer holy hand...RIGHT HEEeeere...
Posted by Paul Mayer (Member # 355) on 11-05-2010, 10:25 PM:
A day off, then off to the place where people don't tan, they rust.
Posted by Joe Elliott (Member # 4006) on 11-06-2010, 02:16 PM:
Florida?
Posted by Manny Knowles (Member # 1171) on 11-06-2010, 02:26 PM:
Gettin' cold here -- $400 on sweaters, etc
Posted by Clint Koch (Member # 1179) on 11-06-2010, 05:02 PM:
Spock's Beard...X
Posted by Manny Knowles (Member # 1171) on 11-06-2010, 08:24 PM:
Laundry and MORE EFFIN' LAUNDRY!!!
Posted by Tony Bandiera Jr (Member # 2365) on 11-07-2010, 03:53 PM:
Same here, now I have nice clean undies!!
Posted by Manny Knowles (Member # 1171) on 11-08-2010, 06:37 PM:
...and now the REAL fun starts!
Posted by Paul Mayer (Member # 355) on 11-08-2010, 08:16 PM:
The RealD continues...
Posted by Paul Mayer (Member # 355) on 11-15-2010, 07:06 PM:
A week later and I'm still winning!
This week we're in rainy WA, with at least six more Sony/RealD combos to do. Hello Puyallup, Port Orchard, and Vancouver...
Posted by Manny Knowles (Member # 1171) on 11-16-2010, 10:18 AM:
Ugh
Posted by Paul Mayer (Member # 355) on 11-19-2010, 02:10 AM:
Last night in Vancouver (WA, not BC). Going through the rain and snow to PDX then LAX and LAS tomorrow. Then it'll be time for a little non-digital film PM work...
Posted by Adam Martin (Member # 641) on 11-21-2010, 12:00 AM:
Why are lions afraid of chairs?
Posted by Manny Knowles (Member # 1171) on 11-21-2010, 02:51 AM:
i dunno....why?
Posted by Adam Martin (Member # 641) on 11-21-2010, 02:01 PM:
I have some lions to tame and don't want any surprises.
Posted by Manny Knowles (Member # 1171) on 11-21-2010, 11:04 PM:
Oh my!
Posted by Paul Mayer (Member # 355) on 11-22-2010, 01:19 AM:
Lions, tigers, and bears...
Posted by Frank Angel (Member # 248) on 11-22-2010, 10:31 AM:
No really Adam, why?
Posted by Manny Knowles (Member # 1171) on 11-22-2010, 10:55 AM:
I thought he was being serious! Adam's an enigma.
Posted by Frank Angel (Member # 248) on 11-22-2010, 04:15 PM:
Switching gears.
Here's a simple solution to the controversy over full-body scanners at airports.
Develop an enclosed booth much like those they use for bomb detonation chambers. Prospective passengers step into it, but instead of X-raying them, when the door closes, it initiates a special pulse which will detonate any explosive device that they may have hidden on or in their body. The explosion will be contained within the bomb-proof booth, as will the terrorist. This would be a win-win for everyone!
There would be no concern about racial profiling or pat-downs or X-Ray radiation to the gonads. The booth would eliminate long, expensive trials.
You're in the airport and you hear a muffled explosion, followed by an announcement over the PA, "Attention standby passengers, we now have a seat available on flight
number..."
What's not to like?
Posted by Mike Blakesley (Member # 26) on 11-22-2010, 05:22 PM:
Film-Tech needs a "Like" button.
Posted by John Wilson (Member # 269) on 11-22-2010, 05:54 PM:
Posted by Sam Graham (Member # 2889) on 11-22-2010, 07:11 PM:
For one thing, I was looking forward to being groped. It's not like anybody else is groping me.
Posted by John Wilson (Member # 269) on 11-22-2010, 07:56 PM:
Posted by Frank Angel (Member # 248) on 11-22-2010, 08:23 PM:
I am with you Sam -- I have no problem with it, and it's free! -- ususally when I make similar arrangements, there always seems to be a charge. Are they going to let us pick the TSA agent? Do you think they might post their pictures in the craigslist profiles. I mean, it's always good to know what you are getting into.
Posted by Tony Bandiera Jr (Member # 2365) on 11-22-2010, 09:10 PM:
With my luck, instead of a Taylor Lautner lookalike the TSA agent who gropes me will be fat, ugly..and a woman!
"Can't touch this!"
Posted by Randy Stankey (Member # 64) on 11-22-2010, 09:25 PM:
Y'Know... If they hired a bunch of female security guards with big hooters and dressed them up as "naughty prison guards" I bet they'd have guys lining up to be searched!
Posted by Frank Angel (Member # 248) on 11-23-2010, 12:28 AM:
Defintions: Really good sex is if just before you leave, she doesn't ask you for an extra twenty.
Posted by Paul Mayer (Member # 355) on 11-23-2010, 09:33 AM:
I like the new TSA scanner-proof underwear that is showing up. Companies in Colorado and Nevada are producing the things. My favorites are the locally-produced ones that have slogans printed on them like, "objects on screen are larger than they appear."
Posted by Frank Angel (Member # 248) on 11-23-2010, 01:05 PM:
No no, Paul. These people have no sense of humor at all; there is no such thing as "a joke" to a TSA agent. And they have the power to arrest you on the spot for ANYTHING they choose.
You put something they consider "an attempt to thwart the security system" in your crotch and you are in the holding cell in the blink of an eye, showing off what's under your humorous X-ray-proof patch to a bevey of those fat, ugly STUPID TSA agents. And then there will be no question if what's under that patch is indeed larger than it looks on a scanner....or not.
Nah, you don't want to kid around with these people. Seriously. I'll bet those funny figleaf shorts constitute "probable cause." They have been given absolute power and you do what they say or else you will be quickly in a situation where you have to PROVE to their satisfaction -- whatever that may be -- that you are not a terrorist. An instance where they don't have to prove you are guiltyl you are guilty until you can prove your are innocent. "Look officers....see, I've got nothing up in there; please put down that colonscope."
Posted by Manny Knowles (Member # 1171) on 11-23-2010, 01:09 PM:
Yeah. What Frank said. Don't mess with those guys. They have power and it's gone straight to their heads.
I'm more inclined to either drive or just not travel unless I have to.
The terrorists have won.
Posted by Mike Blakesley (Member # 26) on 11-23-2010, 03:31 PM:
Backlash is definitely building.
TSA is a huge waste of money. Last time we went to Orlando (October) there were at least 10 agents standing there WATCHING US GET OFF THE PLANE. Wtf??!
Posted by Paul Mayer (Member # 355) on 11-24-2010, 04:57 PM:
TSA - "Thousands Standing Around" or "Too Slow for Arby's". At least I won't have to deal with those wannabee feds trashing my roadbox for a couple of weeks. I have a PM to do at a theater that I can drive to. Next install job I fly to (unless something else pops up) isn't until ABQ next month...
You guys have a great Thanksgiving!
Posted by Adam Martin (Member # 641) on 11-26-2010, 11:20 PM:
Who dumped a whole truckload of fizzies into the swim meet? Who delivered the medical-school cadavers to the alumni dinner? Every Halloween, the trees are filled with underwear. Every spring, the toilets explode.
Posted by Chris Slycord (Member # 4239) on 11-26-2010, 11:26 PM:
quote: Paul Mayer
My favorites are the locally-produced ones that have slogans printed on them like, "objects on screen are larger than they appear."
Personally, I like the one that reads off the 4th Amendment.
Posted by Randy Stankey (Member # 64) on 11-26-2010, 11:39 PM:
quote: Adam Martin
Who dumped a whole truckload of fizzies into the swim meet? Who delivered the medical-school cadavers to the alumni dinner? Every Halloween, the trees are filled with underwear. Every spring, the toilets explode.
You're talking about Delta, sir.
Posted by Paul Mayer (Member # 355) on 11-27-2010, 11:44 AM:
I was just in Eugene a couple of weeks ago on a Regal/Sony install. Visited OU years ago when I was looking at graduate programs. Haven't been keeping up with BD releases - is Animal House slated for a BD release yet?
Posted by Sam Graham (Member # 2889) on 11-27-2010, 02:32 PM:
Amazon is taking pre-orders for it priced at $19.99, but doesn't have an actual release date.
This is also true of The Birds, American Graffiti, and The Blues Brothers.
Posted by Mark J. Marshall (Member # 1409) on 11-27-2010, 04:33 PM:
Just checking in. Padding my posts.
Hi.
Posted by Adam Martin (Member # 641) on 11-28-2010, 02:45 PM:
They're tasty ... let's call them tasticles!
Posted by Ian Parfrey (Member # 5122) on 11-28-2010, 03:49 PM:
They look like frozen bums. Let's call them 'Arseicles'.
Posted by Paul Mayer (Member # 355) on 11-28-2010, 09:30 PM:
What'd he do, nibble your bum?
Posted by Mark J. Marshall (Member # 1409) on 11-29-2010, 01:30 AM:
Is this thing on?
Posted by Ian Parfrey (Member # 5122) on 11-29-2010, 02:27 AM:
Testes. One, two, testes.
Posted by Paul Mayer (Member # 355) on 11-29-2010, 10:45 AM:
Q: Why don't sound techs count past "two"?
A: Because "three" means "lift."
Posted by Manny Knowles (Member # 1171) on 12-12-2010, 06:13 AM:
Example of misinformation.
quote:
It kind of depends on why you are using a 2-Pop and for whom. Who are the 2-Pops for, Composer? Sound designer? Dub house? Broadcaster? Film to tape? Tape to film? Give us some details about exactly what you are trying to accomplish and we can give you more precise instructions about how to do it.
Beginning and end? Couldn't hurt, but depends on length, for a :30 commercial, not needed, for a one hour drama, probably a good idea.
A 2-Pop is two frames long, hence the name?
You don't actually lay more than two frames of tone so, no there would be no gap? Gap between what?
Certain length before the movie? Once again, depends on who the 2-Pops are for and how they are being used. Provide details please ;-)
Best,
Dan Brockett
NONE of this is correct.
Posted by Frank Angel (Member # 248) on 12-12-2010, 01:15 PM:
None of it is correct AND he speaks with much feinged authority.
He goes on...."snip <(they) used a two frame reference tone and visual simply because it's more recognizable than a single frame. A one frame beep can easily be not heard if your volume is not very high (I comment: yah, like if it is OFF, but then you wouldn't hear a 20 frame tone) and a one frame visual reference is very easy to miss." By this reasoning, you would miss every single number flashing by in the Academy countdown as the numbers are only a single frame and EASILY MISSED -- amazing how no one ever sees those numbers as a leader runs down...and a single beep, well no one can here that either....way to fast.
Video people....
Posted by Mike Blakesley (Member # 26) on 12-12-2010, 01:18 PM:
How come the countdown stops at 2 anyway? Why not just go to 1?
Posted by Frank Angel (Member # 248) on 12-12-2010, 01:24 PM:
I was told it was so that if a projectionist missed timed a change-over slightly (you know, in the OLD days), he wouldn't get countdown on the screen, just black, which was the lesser of two evils. In those days, of course, it was [3] that was the last visible number with [2] and [1] theoretically counting down in black.
Posted by Brad Miller (Member # 2) on 12-12-2010, 02:06 PM:
Wow Manny! That Dan Brockett guy is an IDIOT. Reminds me of people who say that splicing tape that isn't 8 perfs wide (to cover two entire frames) can't be seen on screen if clear tape is used...which is bullshit. The edges of the tape ARE visible on screen unless it is a dark scene in the form of horizontal lines. These people argue "its only one frame and the human eye can't detect that"...yet somehow the human eye can detect dirt specks, which are also only one one frame.
Geez.
BTW his picture says so much. 
Posted by Paul Mayer (Member # 355) on 12-13-2010, 11:56 PM:
If it's Tuesday it must be Albuquerque...
Posted by Mitchell Dvoskin (Member # 751) on 12-17-2010, 10:10 AM:
As of this post, I am now the last person who posted here. I win. If anyone posts after me, note that I already won and the contest is over.
Posted by Paul Mayer (Member # 355) on 12-17-2010, 10:26 AM:
Yeah, right.
Posted by Mike Blakesley (Member # 26) on 12-17-2010, 10:57 AM:
Maybe the winner will be the person who is the last poster before Brad decides to scrap this site and move the community entirely to Facebook.
Sorry Brad, if I exposed your nefarious scheme.
Posted by Manny Knowles (Member # 1171) on 12-21-2010, 12:23 AM:
I'm getting psyched about going home for the holidays!
Posted by Paul Mayer (Member # 355) on 12-21-2010, 12:55 AM:
I'm cramming in one last PM for the year down here in Laughlin again. Then I go home for a couple of days, then to San Diego for a couple of days with the extended family, then back to Laughlin to finish up the PM and punch list items. Then back to installing Sony's, starting in Bellevue, WA in January. Happy holidays!
Posted by John Wilson (Member # 269) on 12-21-2010, 05:20 AM:
God, is this thread still going?
Posted by Manny Knowles (Member # 1171) on 12-21-2010, 06:33 AM:
'fraid so...
Posted by Paul Mayer (Member # 355) on 12-23-2010, 10:30 AM:
God willing and the creek don't rise...
Posted by Tony Bandiera Jr (Member # 2365) on 12-23-2010, 12:34 PM:
Too late for that...thankfully I live in an upstairs apt. as we just got over 6 days of rain...close to 8" in my area alone. Was about to order the lumber to build the ark.
Posted by John Wilson (Member # 269) on 12-23-2010, 01:39 PM:
We're doomed!
Posted by Paul Mayer (Member # 355) on 12-24-2010, 09:59 AM:
Wha, wha happuned?
Posted by Joe Elliott (Member # 4006) on 12-24-2010, 09:14 PM:
Whazzzzzuppp
edit: official spelling is Wassup. If you don't remember the old Budweiser commercial, look it up on you tube.
Posted by Adam Martin (Member # 641) on 12-25-2010, 12:12 AM:
Wasabi!
Posted by Adam Martin (Member # 641) on 12-25-2010, 12:44 AM:
Double post because I can ... and to test some code.
Posted by Paul Mayer (Member # 355) on 12-25-2010, 10:54 AM:
You're such a brute!
Posted by Tony Bandiera Jr (Member # 2365) on 12-29-2010, 03:32 PM:
Nope, according to the late Phil Hill, I am now the brute after I attacked T.P. on another thread.
270 to go....
Posted by Manny Knowles (Member # 1171) on 12-30-2010, 10:32 PM:
quote: Paul Mayer
God willing and the creek don't rise...
My current boss said this about a month ago -- i had only heard the first part before.
Tony -- who did you attack!
Posted by Tony Bandiera Jr (Member # 2365) on 12-31-2010, 12:14 AM:
Actually Manny it was J.H. (although my battles with T.P. are pretty intense too.)
The thread in question is HERE see the last page.
Posted by Mike Blakesley (Member # 26) on 12-31-2010, 01:23 AM:
Here's the play at the plate...holy cow, I think he's gonna make it
Posted by Paul Mayer (Member # 355) on 12-31-2010, 01:33 AM:
I miss Harry Caray...
Posted by Frank Angel (Member # 248) on 01-24-2011, 06:14 PM:
Sometimes with all of the minature texting devices we now use, a new, more casual regard for grammer and proper capitalization has crept into our cyber culture. But abandoning the rules of grammar can be significant. For example, take Capitalization -- it can be the difference between
1) Johnny, go help your Uncle Jack off his horse.
and
2) Johnny, go help your Uncle jack off his horse.
Posted by Chris Slycord (Member # 4239) on 01-24-2011, 06:44 PM:
quote: Frank Angel
more casual regard for grammer
As opposed to the olden-days when there was only a casual regard for spelling?
Posted by Chase Taylor (Member # 778) on 01-24-2011, 06:55 PM:
I posted here.
Posted by Dennis Benjamin (Member # 1137) on 01-24-2011, 09:09 PM:
BOO!
Posted by John Wilson (Member # 269) on 01-24-2011, 09:38 PM:
SLIDE!!! SLIDE!!!
Posted by Paul Mayer (Member # 355) on 01-24-2011, 09:57 PM:
Still drying off in the desert after several weeks of installing Sony's in the Puget Sound area, where famously, people don't tan - they rust.
Posted by Frank Angel (Member # 248) on 02-01-2011, 03:13 AM:
I never knew this about penguins --
Did you ever wonder why there are no dead penguins on the ice flats in Antarctica - where do they go? From the National Geographic:
It is a known fact that the penguin is a very ritualistic bird which lives an extremely ordered and complex life. The penguin is very committed to its family and will mate for life, as well as maintaining a form of compassionate contact with its offspring throughout its life.
Even more incredible, if a penguin is found dead on the ice surface, other members of that familial and social circle have been known to dig a bruial hole in the ice, using their vestigial wings and beaks, until the hole is deep enough for the dead bird to be rolled into it.
The male penguins then gather round the dead bird and the fresh grave and will actually sing:
"Freeze a jolly good fellow,"
"Freeze a jolly good fellow."
Then they all kick him into the ice hole.
You really didn't believe that I know anything about penguins, did you?
Posted by Aaron Garman (Member # 1653) on 02-01-2011, 04:48 PM:
LOUD NOISES!
Posted by Paul Mayer (Member # 355) on 02-02-2011, 01:45 AM:
Nah, it's just ice cream.
Posted by Frank Angel (Member # 248) on 02-02-2011, 09:27 AM:
And sometimes a hotdog is just a hotdog.
Posted by Kurt Zupin (Member # 2751) on 02-03-2011, 01:26 AM:
I like movies...do you like moving pictures?
Posted by Mitchell Dvoskin (Member # 751) on 02-03-2011, 10:41 AM:
> I like movies...do you like moving pictures?
No, I prefer still images flashed very quickly in succession, preferably 24 or more every second.
Posted by Paul Mayer (Member # 355) on 02-04-2011, 01:00 AM:
Focus!
Posted by Tom Petrov (Member # 1534) on 02-04-2011, 01:48 AM:
IMAX is everything!
Posted by Frank Angel (Member # 248) on 02-04-2011, 02:03 AM:
IROBOT
Posted by Ian Parfrey (Member # 5122) on 02-04-2011, 04:04 AM:
Atheism is a non-prophet organization.
Posted by Paul Mayer (Member # 355) on 02-04-2011, 01:26 PM:
Stella!
Posted by Paul Mayer (Member # 355) on 02-08-2011, 08:32 PM:
If it's Tuesday it must be Rancho Santa Margarita, CA...
Posted by John Wilson (Member # 269) on 02-08-2011, 08:40 PM:
Leffe!
Posted by Adam Martin (Member # 641) on 02-08-2011, 09:23 PM:
El Jefe!
Posted by Paul Mayer (Member # 355) on 02-09-2011, 12:01 AM:
Mongo!
Posted by Aaron Garman (Member # 1653) on 02-19-2011, 01:19 AM:
And for my 800th post I shall do something ridiculous:
![[Moon]](graemlins/moon.gif)
Posted by Lionel Fouillen (Member # 1475) on 02-19-2011, 05:35 AM:
John, Leffe brune or Leffe blonde ?
Posted by Tony Bandiera Jr (Member # 2365) on 02-21-2011, 07:55 PM:
This year is starting off worse than last year...
Posted by Paul Mayer (Member # 355) on 02-22-2011, 10:38 AM:
If it's Tuesday it must be SoCal... I don't know where in SoCal, but somewhere...
Posted by Frank Angel (Member # 248) on 02-22-2011, 11:30 AM:
Janet!
Posted by Paul Mayer (Member # 355) on 02-22-2011, 11:43 AM:
Jace!
Posted by Frank Angel (Member # 248) on 02-22-2011, 04:03 PM:
The correct answer is: Dr. Scott!
Posted by Paul Mayer (Member # 355) on 02-23-2011, 01:31 AM:
Heh heh, I'm in Westwood, heh heh.
Posted by Mike Blakesley (Member # 26) on 02-23-2011, 09:51 PM:
Here it comes! The fabulous, 60-minute PRICE IS RIGHT!
* * *
And now here he is, America's top trader, TV's big dealer, MONTY HALL!
* * *
One of these stars is sitting in the secret square, and the contestant who picks it first could win a prize package worth TWO....THOUSAND....DOLLARS! Which star is it? Merv Griffin...Rose Marie...Wally Cox...Charlie Weaver...Karen Valentine...Joey Bishop...Mel Brooks...Joan Rivers...or Paul Lynde! All in the Hollywood Squares!
* * *
THIS! IS! JEOPOARDY! Now entering the studio are today's contestants...
* * *
I can't believe I have brain cells devoted to remembering these things.
Posted by Paul Mayer (Member # 355) on 02-26-2011, 01:52 AM:
In the cold rain, and snow, in Pasadena, Hollywood, Carson, and next week, in Corona. Maybe we'll see the first good snow on the ground at Griffith Park and Echo Park since 1949 or so...
Posted by James. R. Deeter (Member # 837) on 03-04-2011, 07:08 PM:
Ha ! Paul was probably thinking he had won !
Posted by Paul Mayer (Member # 355) on 03-05-2011, 10:04 AM:
Ah, an easy situation to maintain. Tiger Blood!
Just did 10 days in Pasadena and Hollywood and Corona. Now back in 'Vegas for a day. Then off to Portland and Hillsboro, OR for three days in the rain.
And then I get a few days here at home... at CineCon.
Posted by Kurt Zupin (Member # 2751) on 03-07-2011, 05:08 AM:
So "Buffalo Bill" is on Fox Movie Channel, this is the 1944 version with Joel McCrea, Maureen O'Hara in it. You hit info and this is the great description that pops up. "Scout weds, fights Cheyenne, leads Wild West show" What a great description. haha
Posted by Paul Mayer (Member # 355) on 03-08-2011, 02:19 PM:
Somewhere there was a site that supplied "TV Guide"-style one-line descriptions for movies. Great stuff.
Me? Still in 'Vegas - didn't get to go to Portland this week after all...
Posted by Joe Elliott (Member # 4006) on 03-08-2011, 08:10 PM:
A synonym in a word you use in place of one you can not spell.
Posted by Manny Knowles (Member # 1171) on 03-08-2011, 09:28 PM:
<meow>
Posted by Paul Mayer (Member # 355) on 03-08-2011, 10:43 PM:
Or in Japanese, <nyaa>
Posted by Frank Angel (Member # 248) on 03-09-2011, 01:36 AM:
An Indian chief was feeling very sick, so he summoned the medicine man. After a brief examination, the medicine man took out a long, thin strip of elk rawhide and gave it to the chief, telling him to bite off, chew, and swallow one inch of the leather every day. After a month, the medicine man returned to see how the chief was feeling. The chief shrugged and said, The thong is ended, but the malady lingers on.
Posted by Manny Knowles (Member # 1171) on 03-09-2011, 02:38 AM:
cute - is that one already in the joke-a-thon?
Posted by Paul Mayer (Member # 355) on 03-11-2011, 06:52 PM:
"Winning"
Posted by Aaron Garman (Member # 1653) on 03-11-2011, 08:58 PM:
No ticky, no laundry!
Posted by Manny Knowles (Member # 1171) on 03-11-2011, 09:53 PM:
dreaming about dinner...
MMMmmmmmmm....
Posted by Paul Mayer (Member # 355) on 03-11-2011, 10:52 PM:
Mmmmmmm, ranch dressing, mmmmmmmm...
Posted by Frank Angel (Member # 248) on 03-12-2011, 04:53 AM:
"Trolls" -- undeservedly maligned by drugged out, alcoholic, sleeze bucket aholes.
Posted by Manny Knowles (Member # 1171) on 03-12-2011, 10:25 PM:
Craving French Onion Soup from the Applebee's around the corner.
Posted by Paul Mayer (Member # 355) on 03-13-2011, 09:31 PM:
Heh heh, just had some linguini with clams and scallops. No need to pay a restaurant - we whipped it up ourselves. Cheap, and better that any restaurant around here.
Posted by Nathan Powers (Member # 3715) on 03-14-2011, 08:55 PM:
Shouldn't you be starting #2 right now?????
Posted by Paul Mayer (Member # 355) on 03-15-2011, 09:43 AM:
I should be leaving a #2 about now.
Posted by Joe Elliott (Member # 4006) on 03-15-2011, 01:46 PM:
I am vinning, I am vinning . . ZZZZZ
Posted by Bobby Henderson (Member # 840) on 03-15-2011, 04:36 PM:
Today, I made an appearance downtown,
I'm an expert witness, because I say I am!
And I said, "Gentlemen," and I use that word loosely,
"I will testify for you
I'm a gun for hire,
I'm a saint, I'm a liar,
because there are no facts, there is no truth,
just data to be manipulated.
I can get you any result you like.
What's it worth to you?
Because there is no wrong, there is no right,
and I sleep very well at night.
No shame, no solution,
no remorse, no retribution.
Just people selling T-shirts.
Just opportunity to participate in the pathetic little circus,
and winning, winning, winning."
Posted by Ian Parfrey (Member # 5122) on 03-15-2011, 06:10 PM:
I like food, food tastes good!
I like food, food tastes good!
Juicy burgers, greasy fries,
Turkey legs and raw fish eyes
Teenage girls, with ketchup too!
Get out of my way, or I'll eat you
I like food, food tastes good!
I like food, food tastes good!
I'm going to turn dining
back into eating
I like food, food tastes good!
I like food, food tastes good
Posted by Paul Mayer (Member # 355) on 03-16-2011, 02:53 AM:
You have exactly ten seconds to change that look of disgusting pity into one of enormous respect!
Posted by Nathan Powers (Member # 3715) on 03-16-2011, 08:29 AM:
I have an intermittent sprocket in my pocket.
Posted by Paul Mayer (Member # 355) on 03-17-2011, 01:00 PM:
Please remain seated with your seatbelts fastened while Capt. Crash taxies what's left of the aircraft to the gate.
Posted by Jeremy Jorgenson (Member # 2989) on 03-20-2011, 12:02 AM:
Posted by Joe Elliott (Member # 4006) on 03-20-2011, 12:24 AM:
Don't think about the game . . . dammit now I lost.
Posted by Aaron Garman (Member # 1653) on 03-21-2011, 03:11 AM:
Let's get that other artist.
The one who never dates.
Lives with those two guys.
Posted by Ian Parfrey (Member # 5122) on 03-21-2011, 05:22 AM:
Get it in Trajan!
Posted by Frank Angel (Member # 248) on 03-21-2011, 09:58 AM:
I'm wearing a CARDBOARD BELT!
Posted by Paul Mayer (Member # 355) on 03-22-2011, 03:25 PM:
Heh heh, playing with a NEC 3240, heh heh...
Posted by Ian Parfrey (Member # 5122) on 03-22-2011, 03:39 PM:
There's a lotl axolotl.
Posted by Frank Angel (Member # 248) on 03-22-2011, 07:25 PM:
Quote the raven, never more....unquote.
Posted by Joe Elliott (Member # 4006) on 03-22-2011, 11:35 PM:
Spoiler Alert - Click to Toggle
You die in the end.
Posted by Paul Mayer (Member # 355) on 03-23-2011, 12:13 AM:
Final curtain, no bows.
Posted by Manny Knowles (Member # 1171) on 03-23-2011, 04:08 AM:
Rubber Nipple Salesmen -- anybody recognize this??
Posted by Randy Stankey (Member # 64) on 03-23-2011, 10:41 AM:
No, but if you had a rubber walrus protector I might.
Posted by Manny Knowles (Member # 1171) on 03-23-2011, 06:03 PM:
See -- that's just DIRTY
Why'd you have to go and take it THERE?
...okay, i admit -- i have NO idea what that is...but i'll bet it IS dirty
Posted by Frank Angel (Member # 248) on 03-23-2011, 09:44 PM:
The difference between genius and stupid is that genius is limited. Albert E(instein)=MC2
Posted by Aaron Garman (Member # 1653) on 03-23-2011, 09:49 PM:
Who the hell is John F. Kennedy?
Posted by Frank Angel (Member # 248) on 03-23-2011, 10:28 PM:
"What the heck is a Schoolbook Repository?" Gov. John Connally asked as they drove by, he misreading the Texas Schoolbook Depository sign minutes before the assination.
Posted by Mike Blakesley (Member # 26) on 03-24-2011, 02:25 PM:
"You, sir, are illiterate."
"I am NOT....my parents were MARRIED!"
Posted by Frank Angel (Member # 248) on 03-25-2011, 11:51 AM:
Don't Bogart that joint, my friend.
Posted by Robert Harrison (Member # 3202) on 03-25-2011, 01:49 PM:
If a tree falls on me in the forest, and nobody is there to see it, will I still be dead?
Posted by Randy Stankey (Member # 64) on 03-25-2011, 04:48 PM:
No, it isn't dead until somebody comes along and sees it lying dead on the ground.
Posted by Ian Parfrey (Member # 5122) on 03-25-2011, 04:54 PM:
Q. Why did the Koala fall out of the tree?
A. It was dead.
Q. Why did the tree fall over?
A. The koala wouldn't let go.
Posted by Frank Angel (Member # 248) on 03-25-2011, 07:38 PM:
It's only a gambling problem if you are loosing.
Posted by Robert Harrison (Member # 3202) on 03-25-2011, 07:38 PM:
A wise man once said to me, "What's happening, man?"
I replied, "Don't YOU know. You're the wise man?"
He looked at me, shrugged his shoulders and said, "What do you want from me, huh? It's my day off!"
Posted by Paul Mayer (Member # 355) on 03-26-2011, 08:51 AM:
Another day, setting up for CinemaCon in the Colosseum at Caesars...
Posted by Adam Martin (Member # 641) on 03-26-2011, 11:42 PM:
Never make eye contact while eating a banana.
Posted by Mike Blakesley (Member # 26) on 03-27-2011, 02:01 AM:
The planet is fine! The people are fucked.
Posted by Mitchell Dvoskin (Member # 751) on 03-28-2011, 09:59 AM:
Today is only yesterday's tomorrow...
Posted by Frank Angel (Member # 248) on 03-29-2011, 06:19 PM:
GUTS - A young man arrives home late one night after a night out with the guys, carousing and drinking and is met by his wife holding a broom. GUTS is being able to look at her without flinching and say "Hey, are you still cleaning or are you thinking of flying somewhere?"
BALLS - A young man comes home, again after a late night of carousing out with the boys, this time smelling of cheap perfume and beer, sporting lipstick on his collar and questionable stains around his fly. BALLS is being able to walk up to his wife and whack her hard on the ass and say, "Ok....down on all fours, Porky, you're next."
WUSS is not having the guts or the balls to explain the above definitions to the wife.
Posted by Tony Bandiera Jr (Member # 2365) on 03-29-2011, 07:00 PM:
182 to go and I'm still gay.
Posted by Randy Stankey (Member # 64) on 03-30-2011, 01:54 AM:
quote: Mitchell Dvoskin
Today is only yesterday's tomorrow...
If this week was next week last week would that make this week last week next week?
Posted by Manny Knowles (Member # 1171) on 03-30-2011, 07:45 AM:
quote: Mike Blakesley
The planet is fine! The people are fucked.
...and the church said, "Amen!"
Posted by Frank Angel (Member # 248) on 03-30-2011, 07:46 PM:
quote: Mike Blakesley
The planet is fine! The people are fucked.
And the planet is starting to really get pissed.
Posted by Manny Knowles (Member # 1171) on 03-30-2011, 08:49 PM:
We're like a virus, and pretty soon Earth will get a fever and then...we're toast!
And in other news: Pajama Jeans... (oh my)
Posted by Paul Mayer (Member # 355) on 03-31-2011, 01:02 AM:
Mostly harmless.
Posted by Frank Angel (Member # 248) on 04-01-2011, 08:57 PM:
A vulture boards an airplane, carrying two dead raccoons.
The stewardess looks at him and says, 'I'm sorry, sir,
only one carrion allowed per passenger.
Posted by Paul Mayer (Member # 355) on 04-02-2011, 04:13 AM:
Posted by Frank Angel (Member # 248) on 04-04-2011, 05:51 PM:
Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly, so they lit
a fire in the craft. Not surprising, it sank, proving
once again that you can't have your kayak and heat it too.
Posted by Paul Mayer (Member # 355) on 04-05-2011, 10:17 AM:
Be wary of strong drink. It'll make you shoot at tax collectors... and miss.
Posted by Joe Elliott (Member # 4006) on 04-05-2011, 10:52 PM:
I used to be a perfectionist, but I'm better now.
Posted by Paul Mayer (Member # 355) on 04-08-2011, 05:20 PM:
Perfection in projection is no error.
Posted by Joe Elliott (Member # 4006) on 04-09-2011, 06:44 AM:
Practice does not make perfect.
Perfect practice makes perfect.
Posted by Paul Mayer (Member # 355) on 04-10-2011, 12:17 AM:
Like a boss.
Posted by Frank Angel (Member # 248) on 04-11-2011, 08:43 PM:
Life should NOT be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in an attractive and well-preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways - Chardonnay in one hand - chocolate in the other - an old body thoroughly used up, totally worn out and screaming "Hot DAMN, what a ride!!"
Posted by Clint Koch (Member # 1179) on 04-11-2011, 09:35 PM:
Amen!!!!
Posted by Paul Mayer (Member # 355) on 04-12-2011, 02:31 AM:
Going to NAB tomorrow to look at all the great toys.
Posted by Tony Bandiera Jr (Member # 2365) on 04-12-2011, 03:50 PM:
165 to go..unless Brad resets it again.
Posted by Ian Parfrey (Member # 5122) on 04-12-2011, 04:02 PM:
ORC xenon bulbs are the BEST!
Posted by Tony Bandiera Jr (Member # 2365) on 04-12-2011, 07:54 PM:
Ian, don't make me come to Australia to kick your bum...
ORC = ![[thumbsdown]](graemlins/thumbsdown.gif)
Posted by Ian Parfrey (Member # 5122) on 04-12-2011, 10:07 PM:
@Tony
Posted by Jake Spell (Member # 5294) on 04-12-2011, 10:54 PM:
quote: Tony Bandiera Jr
unless Brad resets it again
When Brad resets it again...
Posted by Paul Mayer (Member # 355) on 04-12-2011, 11:51 PM:
160 to go...
Went to NAB today - even though it's not a cinema show, Christie was showing their D4K35. Impressive.
Posted by Joe Elliott (Member # 4006) on 04-15-2011, 12:45 AM:
That spells Dackes.
Posted by Ian Parfrey (Member # 5122) on 04-15-2011, 05:18 AM:
I've lost my Punkah Wallah.
Posted by Joe Elliott (Member # 4006) on 04-15-2011, 06:36 AM:
That should have been dakes. No c in there!
Posted by Mitchell Dvoskin (Member # 751) on 04-15-2011, 10:25 AM:
Based on what you know about him in history books, what do you think Abraham Lincoln would be doing if he were alive today?
(1) Writing his memoirs of the Civil War.
(2) Advising the President.
(3) Desperately clawing at the inside of his coffin.
Posted by Paul Mayer (Member # 355) on 04-15-2011, 10:27 AM:
Who is buried in Grant's tomb?
Posted by Frank Angel (Member # 248) on 04-15-2011, 09:10 PM:
No one is the correcd answer. But do you know who was the first one to ask that question?
Posted by Paul Mayer (Member # 355) on 04-16-2011, 11:41 AM:
No idea.
Aloha Festival here this weekend at the Silverton. After the Las Vegas Everything Japanese Meetup today I will go hang with da locals and eat lots da kine pupus and grinds...
Posted by Frank Angel (Member # 248) on 04-17-2011, 11:57 AM:
Grocho Marx said it. He used it as a throw-away question on his TV game show, You Bet Your Life, when a contestant was so bad they were missing every question. He would use that question as their life-saver. They say that quite a few of the contestants gave the wrong answer even to that obvious question.
Of course Groucho would accept Ulysses S. Grant or his wife as the correct answer, but as I said, in fact, NO ONE is buried in Grant's tomb. Grant and his wife are enturred in Grant's tomb on the upper West Side of Manhattan; neither they nor anyone else are ever buried in a maussolium....you can only be enturred in a maussolium.
Posted by Paul Mayer (Member # 355) on 04-19-2011, 06:47 PM:
Heh heh... Going to Hollywood tomorrow to see Barco's new 2K digital post-production projector. The event is at the DGA theater on Sunset. Never been there before. Should be fun. Heh heh...
Posted by Christian Appelt (Member # 1067) on 04-20-2011, 07:54 AM:
Radio Rogers and McCloskey. Tell them we're
going to the ticktock to get the boo-boo.
Posted by Mike Blakesley (Member # 26) on 04-20-2011, 01:23 PM:
So let it be written.
So let it be done.
Posted by Paul Mayer (Member # 355) on 04-21-2011, 09:41 AM:
Make it so.
Posted by Mitchell Dvoskin (Member # 751) on 04-21-2011, 09:48 AM:
So near, and yet so far...
Posted by Christian Appelt (Member # 1067) on 04-21-2011, 12:39 PM:
That'll be the day.
Posted by Paul Mayer (Member # 355) on 04-22-2011, 10:32 AM:
Q: What's the most common thing heard on the Cockpit Voice Recorder of a fly-by-wire Airbus?
A: What's it doing now?
Posted by Paul Mayer (Member # 355) on 05-10-2011, 07:27 AM:
Oh, we can't a perfectly good thread die off now can we?
Posted from cloudy and rainy Mira Mesa and Poway (San Diego), CA
Posted by Mike Blakesley (Member # 26) on 05-10-2011, 01:14 PM:
"Hello, Mississippi Barbecue Palace...Mr. Sippi speaking!"
Posted by Ian Parfrey (Member # 5122) on 05-10-2011, 03:29 PM:
"Welcome to Die Weinerschnitzel. May I take your order, please?"
Posted by Paul Mayer (Member # 355) on 05-12-2011, 11:00 PM:
Sitting here in SAN airport, waiting for my delayed 8:50pm flight to depart at 10:15. WN787 SAN to LAS...
Another Regal theater now all-digital.
Posted by Paul Mayer (Member # 355) on 05-15-2011, 01:28 AM:
If it's Sunday it must be Chicago and environs...
Posted by Frank Angel (Member # 248) on 05-16-2011, 01:03 PM:
My neighbor banged on my door at 2:30am this morning; can you believe that..... 2:30am?!
Luckily for him I was still up playing EARTHQUAKE on my home theatre system with 4 Sensurround Subbass bins.
Posted by John Wilson (Member # 269) on 05-18-2011, 07:33 PM:
Posted by Paul Mayer (Member # 355) on 05-21-2011, 10:04 AM:
Bouncing back to 'Vegas in an A.320 this evening, dodging thunderstorms all the way ORD-LAS...
Posted by Mark Ogden (Member # 43) on 05-21-2011, 06:09 PM:
Lamest . . . apocalypse . . . EVER.
Posted by Frank Angel (Member # 248) on 05-22-2011, 03:57 AM:
Time to regroup, readjust the numbers, find a new apocalypse date and make another couple of million selling it to another horde of idiots.
Actually, I did get the rapture last night...on craigslist and it only cost $100 for one hour; short-stay room extra. Harold Camping eat your heart out.
Posted by Paul Mayer (Member # 355) on 05-23-2011, 11:55 PM:
Just in case The Rapture is a couple of days late, I'll be in Laughlin tomorrow working on a CFS Rentec lamphouse. Can't think of a better place to be when the end time finally starts...
Posted by Randy Stankey (Member # 64) on 05-24-2011, 07:54 AM:
I was in a theater in Norfolk, VA when the World Trade Center was attacked.
Since Norfolk is home to the largest naval base in the world, the whole city was basically shut down and placed on high alert. (ThreatCon Delta.) All highways were closed to non-essential traffic. The theater was closed. Everybody who was already at the theater (only about six people) had to stay put for the rest of the day. Anybody who wasn't already at the theater or who wasn't already on their way to the theater was given a mandatory day off.
I had the entire 20-screen complex to myself. I didn't have to wait and work on projectors between shows to do P.M.s. I didn't have to come in at midnight to do major repairs. I got just about everything fixed and did all my preventative maintenance in one day.
Nobody bothered me. The work that normally took two or three days to finish was nearly finished in just one day.
It was the best day working in a movie theater that I ever had!
Posted by Frank Angel (Member # 248) on 05-25-2011, 02:51 PM:
Mr. Mancini's bathroom after the Rapture....
Posted by Paul Mayer (Member # 355) on 05-25-2011, 03:20 PM:
Oh, now I see that the prediction was off by a few months. The new day of reckoning is 21 October 2011. Damn! Now I have to go reset all my calendar clocks. BTW, still in Laughlin...
Posted by Frank Angel (Member # 248) on 05-28-2011, 07:11 PM:
Now it's in October? Will this never end? (Bet you hear that alot among the believers, eh? )
Posted by Joe Elliott (Member # 4006) on 05-29-2011, 12:13 PM:
I say we get a few thousand people across the country to disappear on that day. Just stop what they are doing, when no one is watching, and head off to a vacation in the mountains or something. Wouldn't that scare the crap out of that preacher, several thousand people called back for the rapture, and he, nor any of his congregation was one of them!!!
Posted by John Wilson (Member # 269) on 05-29-2011, 05:49 PM:
I like your thinking.
Posted by Frank Angel (Member # 248) on 05-29-2011, 05:54 PM:
Joe, that is hilarious and one hellofa PUNKED prank. It would have to be done with everyone within a small radius of the old creepy guy Camping's neighborhood, but it could be done. He'd come to the studio next day thinking his prediction hadn't happened AGAIN -- bad enough. But then he'd find maybe only one or two people would be there and they'd tell him that mostly everyone else ascended and only the damned were left. Welcome to hell, Harry! If he was shocked to find the Rapture didn't take place on his day and date, imagine his shock when he thinks it DID happend and he just didn't get sucked up, or whatever it is they think happens at a Rapture.
Posted by Greg Anderson (Member # 235) on 06-01-2011, 07:42 PM:
Officials at Columbia Pictures have just announced the production of a long-awaited sequel to the early 1990s hit movie Groundhog Day. Director Harold Ramis is not sure yet if they will go with a more traditional holiday this time like Thanksgiving or Easter. So far, they are thinking of focusing on a more obscure holiday like Arbor Day or Flag Day.
Posted by Frank Angel (Member # 248) on 06-03-2011, 12:31 AM:
"Long-awaited" sequel? Gimme a break. Who's waiting....and why?
Posted by Mike Blakesley (Member # 26) on 06-03-2011, 03:14 PM:
Columbia is also going to distribute a still-untitled Seal Team 6 film, directed by Kathryn Bigelow. (This from the newest issue of I.M.E.)
Posted by Paul Mayer (Member # 355) on 06-07-2011, 12:10 PM:
Taking the pretend-a-jet over to Fresno and Santa Cruz this evening for another couple days of Sony installs.
Posted by Adam Martin (Member # 641) on 06-10-2011, 08:55 PM:
Once the trust goes out of a relationship, it's just no fun lying anymore.
[ 06-13-2011, 11:04 PM: Message edited by: Adam Martin ]
Posted by Frank Angel (Member # 248) on 06-13-2011, 08:49 PM:
Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit; wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad.
Posted by Paul Mayer (Member # 355) on 06-13-2011, 09:50 PM:
In Omaha for some training this week...
Posted by Manny Knowles (Member # 1171) on 06-13-2011, 11:48 PM:
I hear they have good steaks there.
Posted by Paul Mayer (Member # 355) on 06-14-2011, 06:10 AM:
Unfortunately I'm not allowed to eat red meat anymore, but I did have some great pork chops last night at Spencer's downtown.
Posted by William T. Parr (Member # 677) on 06-14-2011, 09:40 AM:
And the Winner is............................Still not me.
Posted by Manny Knowles (Member # 1171) on 06-14-2011, 02:34 PM:
When will this end?
Posted by Randy Stankey (Member # 64) on 06-14-2011, 02:53 PM:
# fdisk /dev/hda
Posted by Mike Blakesley (Member # 26) on 06-14-2011, 04:05 PM:
format film-tech.com
Posted by Manny Knowles (Member # 1171) on 06-14-2011, 05:03 PM:
Oh my. They're starting to lose it!
Posted by Paul Mayer (Member # 355) on 06-14-2011, 09:34 PM:
Second night in Omaha - dinner at Upstream. River's risin' but we should be outta here Thursday late afternoon before I would need to brush off my seaplane rating. They've already sandbagged Terminal 1 at Eppley Field.
Posted by Frank Angel (Member # 248) on 06-14-2011, 11:54 PM:
War does not determine who is right -- only who is left.
Posted by Paul Mayer (Member # 355) on 06-17-2011, 01:23 AM:
Ah, back from Omaha. Next, back to Laughlin, NV for a week of installs...
Posted by Frank Angel (Member # 248) on 06-19-2011, 05:56 AM:
The last thing I want to do is hurt you. But it's still on the list.
Posted by Paul Mayer (Member # 355) on 06-19-2011, 10:02 AM:
Off to Laughlin, NV for a week of installs. Don't have to worry 'bout the river risin' there!
Posted by Frank Angel (Member # 248) on 06-20-2011, 01:09 PM:
The early bird might get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.
Posted by William T. Parr (Member # 677) on 06-20-2011, 02:47 PM:
Dooooooobie, Doobie doo
Posted by Randy Stankey (Member # 64) on 06-20-2011, 05:32 PM:
"Down the tubes..." I hear that one a lot. People say, "Ah, the country is going down the tubes."
What tubes? Have you seen any tubes? Where are these tubes? And where do they go? And how come there's more than one tube?
It would seem to me, one country, one tube. But does every state, all of a sudden, have to have its own tube now? One tube is all you need. But a tube that big? Somebody would have seen it by now. "Hey Joey! Get a load of these freakin' tubes!"
Posted by John Wilson (Member # 269) on 06-20-2011, 07:55 PM:
The Tubes are here.
Posted by Frank Angel (Member # 248) on 06-20-2011, 10:14 PM:
What are "hot cakes" and how is it that people want everything to sell like them?
Posted by John Wilson (Member # 269) on 06-20-2011, 10:35 PM:
The Hotcakes are here.
Posted by Mike Blakesley (Member # 26) on 06-21-2011, 10:56 AM:
We have no old people any more. We've taken them all away, and brought in these "senior citizens."
Posted by Frank Angel (Member # 248) on 06-22-2011, 06:30 PM:
And where are the Junior Citizens?
Posted by Paul Mayer (Member # 355) on 06-26-2011, 03:15 PM:
Survived the Laughlin install. Must say that Laughlin Stadium 9 Cinemas screen #2 (a former THX house) turned out as one of the best sounding rooms I've heard in a long time. Ken Williams did the tuning - absolutely outstanding!
Posted by Mitchell Dvoskin (Member # 751) on 06-28-2011, 11:26 AM:
46
Posted by Greg Anderson (Member # 235) on 06-28-2011, 12:49 PM:
Improving my post count for no good reason.
Posted by William T. Parr (Member # 677) on 06-28-2011, 04:38 PM:
Me too Greg. Me too.
Posted by Mike Blakesley (Member # 26) on 06-28-2011, 10:03 PM:
Al Sleet here, your hippy-dippy weatherman, with all the hippy dippy weather, man! Brought to you by Parsons Pest Control. Do you have termites, waterbugs and roaches? Parsons will get rid of the termites and waterbugs, and help you smoke the roaches!
Temperature is 88 degrees at the airport....which is stupid, 'cause I don't know anybody who lives at the airport.
I'd like to apologize to the former residents of Hackensack, New Jersey, for the weather over the weekend. Especially if you watched my show on Friday. Caught them cats nappin', man.
Now if you'll take a look at our national weather map...you'll see that we don't have one! So, try to picture last night's map...in your mind. Remember all them lines and numbers. Weather was dominated by a large Canadian low...which is not to be confused with a Mexican high!
Tonight's forecast: Dark. Continued mostly dark tonight, turning to widely scattered light in the morning, man.
Posted by Greg Anderson (Member # 235) on 06-29-2011, 03:45 PM:
I still don't have a good reason.
Posted by Frank Angel (Member # 248) on 06-29-2011, 03:50 PM:
And tomorrow we will have a cooler air mass meeting this much large warm ass of air from the south.
Posted by Tony Bandiera Jr (Member # 2365) on 06-29-2011, 05:59 PM:
92 to go....whoopie.
Posted by Frank Angel (Member # 248) on 06-30-2011, 09:36 AM:
For some time many of us have wondered just who is Jack Schitt? We find ourselves at a loss when someone says, "You don't know Jack Schitt!" Well, thanks to the following genealogy, you can now respond with intellectual certainty.
Jack Schitt is the only son of Awe Schitt. Awe Schitt, the fertilizer magnate, married O. Schitt, the owner of Needeep N. Schitt, Inc. They had one son, Jack.
In turn, Jack Schitt married Noe Schitt. The deeply religious couple produced six children: Holie Schitt, Giva Schitt, Fulla Schitt, Bull Schitt, and the twins Deep Schitt and Dip Schitt. Against her parents' objections, Deep Schitt married Dumb Schitt, a high school dropout.
After being married 15 years, Jack and Noe Schitt divorced. Noe Schitt later married Ted Sherlock, and, because her kids were living with them, she wanted to keep her previous name. She was then known as Noe Schitt Sherlock.
Meanwhile, Dip Schitt married Loda Schitt, and they produced a son with a rather nervous disposition named Chicken Schitt. Two of the other six children, Fulla and Giva, were inseparable throughout childhood and subsequently married the Happens brothers in a dual ceremony. The wedding announcement in the newspaper announced the Schitt-Happens nuptials.
The Schitt-Happens children were Dawg, Byrd, and Horse. Bull Schitt, the prodigal son, left home to tour the world. He recently returned from Italy with his new Italian bride, Pisa Schitt.
Now when someone says, "You don't know Jack Schitt," you can knowingly correct them.
Sincerely, Crock O. Schitt
Posted by Mike Blakesley (Member # 26) on 06-30-2011, 05:40 PM:
Well, I don't know whether to Schitt or wind my watch. Guess I'll Schitt on my watch.
Posted by Paul Mayer (Member # 355) on 07-02-2011, 09:08 PM:
What's a watch? And why would someone need to wind it?
Posted by Randy Stankey (Member # 64) on 07-03-2011, 02:40 PM:
quote: Frank Angel
Now when someone says, "You don't know Jack Schitt," you can knowingly correct them.
I KNOW Jack Schitt and YOU ain't Jack Schitt!
Posted by Tony Bandiera Jr (Member # 2365) on 07-03-2011, 04:02 PM:
87 to go.....
Posted by Paul Mayer (Member # 355) on 07-04-2011, 02:57 PM:
4th of July.
Let's see, tomorrow to 215 to 95 to 163 to guess where...
Posted by Mike Rivest (Member # 5500) on 07-04-2011, 06:23 PM:
I am the last person to post! *
* ad of July 4th, 2011 at 19 22 EDT.
Posted by Manny Knowles (Member # 1171) on 07-04-2011, 07:56 PM:
>meow<
Posted by Frank Angel (Member # 248) on 07-07-2011, 01:34 AM:
A middle aged married guy is sitting home one night and the doorbell rings. There is a cop at the door and asks if he might come in. The man invites the officer in and the cop, looking quite distressed takes a few steps over to a small table by the door, picks up a picture on the table of a woman and asks, "Sir, is this your wife?
The man replies "Yes, yes it is....why do you ask?"
The cop hesitates and finally says, "Sir, I have to tell you, it looks like your wife got hit by a truck."
The man nods and says, "Yes, I know, but she has a great personality and is a really good cook."
Posted by Randy Stankey (Member # 64) on 07-07-2011, 07:50 AM:
A woman is driving a Ferrari down the freeway, going about 100 MPH when a cop tags her on radar and pulls her over.
The cop is walking up to the car and the woman is fluffing her hair and unbuttoning her blouse. He knocks on her window. She rolls it down and says, "I didn't think cops gave tickets to pretty girls."
The cop says, "We don't... May I see your driver's license and registration, please."
Posted by Greg Anderson (Member # 235) on 07-07-2011, 09:20 AM:
Truth in advertising: BAD Teacher. HORRIBLE Bosses. Transformers DARK of the Moon.
Posted by Sam Graham (Member # 2889) on 07-07-2011, 10:10 AM:
quote: Frank Angel
The man nods and says, "Yes, I know, but she has a great personality and is a really good cook."
Posted by Mike Blakesley (Member # 26) on 07-07-2011, 11:36 AM:
Sign in my friend's mom's kitchen:
quote:
I'm not a fast cook.
I'm not a slow cook.
I'm a half fast cook.
Posted by Paul Mayer (Member # 355) on 07-07-2011, 04:13 PM:
There are old pilots.
There are bold pilots.
But there are no old, bold pilots.
Posted by Greg Anderson (Member # 235) on 07-07-2011, 08:46 PM:
Almost there...
(Stay on target)
Almost there...
Posted by Kenneth Wuepper (Member # 1174) on 07-08-2011, 12:52 PM:
Keep Swimming!
Keep Swimming!
Posted by Tony Bandiera Jr (Member # 2365) on 07-08-2011, 01:31 PM:
76 to go...what do you know...the traffic is slow...Kinoton turrets blow...it may snow...say Hi to Joe....the water level is low...I need to make some more dough....
Posted by Paul Mayer (Member # 355) on 07-08-2011, 11:09 PM:
Say it ain't so Joe. Say it ain't so.
Posted by Greg Anderson (Member # 235) on 07-09-2011, 12:24 AM:
Follow that car!
Posted by Joe Elliott (Member # 4006) on 07-09-2011, 12:45 AM:
It aint so.
Posted by Kenneth Wuepper (Member # 1174) on 07-09-2011, 08:56 AM:
Play it again, Sam!
Posted by Greg Anderson (Member # 235) on 07-09-2011, 09:57 AM:
It was a dark and stormy night.
Posted by Paul Mayer (Member # 355) on 07-09-2011, 10:27 AM:
...in the projection booth that everyone knew was haunted.
Posted by Greg Anderson (Member # 235) on 07-09-2011, 06:05 PM:
Another random thought.
Posted by Paul Mayer (Member # 355) on 07-12-2011, 01:41 AM:
Here in the Phoenix, AZ area (Goodyear and Mesa) this week...
Posted by Christian Appelt (Member # 1067) on 07-13-2011, 10:25 AM:
I am completely operational, and all my circuits are functioning perfectly.
Posted by Paul Mayer (Member # 355) on 07-13-2011, 03:42 PM:
And now pressing even further away from home, down to Tombstone and Sierra Vista, AZ today...
Posted by Frank Angel (Member # 248) on 07-16-2011, 04:36 PM:
I intend to live forever. So far, so good.
Posted by Paul Mayer (Member # 355) on 07-17-2011, 03:18 AM:
In Goodyear, AZ this evening. Going home tomorrow!
Posted by John Wilson (Member # 269) on 07-17-2011, 06:26 AM:
And now for something completely different...
Posted by Peter Berrett (Member # 672) on 07-17-2011, 07:12 AM:
I'm sorry to inform that this thread has been closed due to sustained silliness. This will be the last post.
Posted by Joe Elliott (Member # 4006) on 07-17-2011, 07:22 AM:
No one expects the Spanish Inquisition! Our main weapon is fear and surprise. Our two main weapons are . . .
Posted by Peter Berrett (Member # 672) on 07-17-2011, 07:23 AM:
Daleks and Cybermen.
Posted by Frank Angel (Member # 248) on 07-18-2011, 12:58 AM:
Cagney and Lacey
Posted by Paul Mayer (Member # 355) on 07-18-2011, 09:06 AM:
Tracy and Hepburn.
Posted by Frank Angel (Member # 248) on 07-19-2011, 01:35 AM:
Starsky and Hutch
Posted by Greg Anderson (Member # 235) on 07-19-2011, 10:07 AM:
Abbott and Costello
Posted by Mark Ogden (Member # 43) on 07-19-2011, 01:30 PM:
Mack and Myer *
*Obscure, Long Island based comedy duo that appeared in “Mack and Myer For Hire”, a series of one-reel shorts for Trans-Lux Television and syndicated to stations from 1964 to the mid-seventies. I am probably the only person on this board who remembers these guys. OK, maybe Frank.
Posted by Adam Martin (Member # 641) on 07-19-2011, 02:06 PM:
Lenny and Squiggy
Posted by Tony Bandiera Jr (Member # 2365) on 07-19-2011, 03:09 PM:
Frick and Frack
56 to go... (or, knowing the Grand Poo-Bahs wicked ways, 1,556 to go... )
Posted by Paul Mayer (Member # 355) on 07-19-2011, 04:19 PM:
R & H (either H is fine)
Posted by Joe Elliott (Member # 4006) on 07-19-2011, 05:52 PM:
Ren and Stimpy
Posted by Randy Stankey (Member # 64) on 07-19-2011, 05:56 PM:
Pork chops and apple sauce.
Posted by Greg Anderson (Member # 235) on 07-19-2011, 06:06 PM:
Hall and Oates
Posted by James. R. Deeter (Member # 837) on 07-19-2011, 06:07 PM:
Hoyt & Clagwell
Posted by Greg Anderson (Member # 235) on 07-19-2011, 06:44 PM:
Hope and Crosby
Posted by Mike Blakesley (Member # 26) on 07-19-2011, 08:40 PM:
Martin & Lewis
Posted by Greg Anderson (Member # 235) on 07-19-2011, 09:01 PM:
Holmes and Yo-yo (Look it up.)
Posted by Mike Blakesley (Member # 26) on 07-19-2011, 10:01 PM:
Herb Alpert & the Tijuana Brass
Posted by Paul Mayer (Member # 355) on 07-19-2011, 10:31 PM:
Tom & Jerry
Posted by Greg Anderson (Member # 235) on 07-19-2011, 11:22 PM:
Peanut butter and jelly
Posted by Randy Stankey (Member # 64) on 07-19-2011, 11:35 PM:
Tits and ass.
Posted by Paul Mayer (Member # 355) on 07-20-2011, 02:22 AM:
Pratt & Whitney
Posted by Greg Anderson (Member # 235) on 07-20-2011, 08:08 AM:
James Franco and Anne Hathaway
Posted by Randy Stankey (Member # 64) on 07-20-2011, 08:24 AM:
Bogey and Bacall.
Posted by Greg Anderson (Member # 235) on 07-20-2011, 08:27 AM:
Jake and Elwood
Posted by John Wilson (Member # 269) on 07-20-2011, 04:49 PM:
Here and There
Posted by Greg Anderson (Member # 235) on 07-20-2011, 04:52 PM:
Shipping and handling.
Posted by Tom Petrov (Member # 1534) on 07-20-2011, 06:38 PM:
Grand & Toy
Posted by Paul Mayer (Member # 355) on 07-20-2011, 08:27 PM:
Itchy & Scratchy
Posted by Tony Bandiera Jr (Member # 2365) on 07-20-2011, 08:45 PM:
Scratch and sniff.
Posted by Paul Mayer (Member # 355) on 07-20-2011, 09:08 PM:
Calvin & Hobbes
Posted by Tom Petrov (Member # 1534) on 07-20-2011, 09:40 PM:
Baskin & Robbins
Posted by Greg Anderson (Member # 235) on 07-20-2011, 09:58 PM:
James and the Giant Peach
Posted by Tom Petrov (Member # 1534) on 07-20-2011, 10:00 PM:
Siskel and Ebert
Posted by Sam Graham (Member # 2889) on 07-20-2011, 10:07 PM:
Fatburger
Posted by John Wilson (Member # 269) on 07-20-2011, 10:19 PM:
ALBATROSS!!!
Posted by Tom Petrov (Member # 1534) on 07-20-2011, 10:21 PM:
Star Wars re-release trailer:
"THX and Digital Sound"
Posted by Greg Anderson (Member # 235) on 07-20-2011, 11:40 PM:
Hansel and Gretel
Posted by Randy Stankey (Member # 64) on 07-20-2011, 11:41 PM:
Shits and giggles.
Posted by Greg Anderson (Member # 235) on 07-20-2011, 11:58 PM:
Duck and cover.
Posted by Frank Angel (Member # 248) on 07-21-2011, 04:06 AM:
Tits and Ass
Posted by Connor Wilson (Member # 6088) on 07-21-2011, 07:26 AM:
I am the King of Limbs.
Posted by Randy Stankey (Member # 64) on 07-21-2011, 07:26 AM:
Spit and polish.
Posted by Greg Anderson (Member # 235) on 07-21-2011, 07:42 AM:
Dumb and Dumber.
Posted by Randy Stankey (Member # 64) on 07-21-2011, 08:53 AM:
Hot and Ready.
Posted by Tom Petrov (Member # 1534) on 07-21-2011, 09:02 AM:
Ready & Willing
Posted by Randy Stankey (Member # 64) on 07-21-2011, 09:10 AM:
Ten feet tall and bulletproof.
Posted by Paul Mayer (Member # 355) on 07-21-2011, 09:54 AM:
Hot & Juicy
Posted by Randy Stankey (Member # 64) on 07-21-2011, 10:12 AM:
Wet and smelly.
Posted by Greg Anderson (Member # 235) on 07-21-2011, 10:46 AM:
Death and taxes.
Posted by Ray Virtucio (Member # 6066) on 07-21-2011, 12:51 PM:
Smoke and mirrors.
Posted by Paul Mayer (Member # 355) on 07-21-2011, 12:57 PM:
Sound and fury
Posted by Tom Petrov (Member # 1534) on 07-21-2011, 01:15 PM:
Thunderbolt and Lightfoot
Posted by Aaron Garman (Member # 1653) on 07-21-2011, 01:20 PM:
Dry and Sweaty.
Posted by Tom Petrov (Member # 1534) on 07-21-2011, 01:33 PM:
Cowboys & Aliens
Posted by Greg Anderson (Member # 235) on 07-21-2011, 03:49 PM:
Pie and ice cream. (Hmmmm. Pie.)
Posted by Tom Petrov (Member # 1534) on 07-21-2011, 04:27 PM:
Wendy and Lucy
Posted by Greg Anderson (Member # 235) on 07-21-2011, 04:45 PM:
Beauty and the Beast.
Posted by Tom Petrov (Member # 1534) on 07-21-2011, 05:12 PM:
Armed and Dangerous
Posted by Greg Anderson (Member # 235) on 07-21-2011, 05:17 PM:
Traffic and weather.
Posted by Tom Petrov (Member # 1534) on 07-21-2011, 05:23 PM:
quote: Greg Anderson
Traffic and weather.
Taffic and weather together
Posted by Greg Anderson (Member # 235) on 07-21-2011, 05:23 PM:
Rough and tumble.
Posted by Tom Petrov (Member # 1534) on 07-21-2011, 05:28 PM:
smith and wollensky
Posted by Frank Angel (Member # 248) on 07-21-2011, 05:43 PM:
Smith and Wesson
Posted by Greg Anderson (Member # 235) on 07-21-2011, 06:24 PM:
Guns 'n Roses
Posted by Mitchell Dvoskin (Member # 751) on 07-21-2011, 06:48 PM:
Starsky & Hutch
Posted by John Wilson (Member # 269) on 07-21-2011, 06:50 PM:
Posted by Frank Angel (Member # 248) on 07-21-2011, 06:59 PM:
Ike and Tina
Hoochie Koochie
Posted by John Wilson (Member # 269) on 07-21-2011, 07:03 PM:
Posted by Frank Angel (Member # 248) on 07-21-2011, 07:06 PM:
Harold and Maude
Posted by John Wilson (Member # 269) on 07-21-2011, 07:09 PM:
Posted by Tom Petrov (Member # 1534) on 07-21-2011, 07:48 PM:
Stanley and Iris
Posted by Greg Anderson (Member # 235) on 07-21-2011, 09:26 PM:
Sylvester and Tweety
Posted by Tom Petrov (Member # 1534) on 07-21-2011, 09:31 PM:
TOYOTA TRUCKS - Moving you forward!
Posted by Randy Stankey (Member # 64) on 07-21-2011, 09:41 PM:
Bugs and Daffy.
Posted by Tom Petrov (Member # 1534) on 07-21-2011, 09:46 PM:
Mazda - ZOOM ZOOM!
Posted by Frank Angel (Member # 248) on 07-22-2011, 02:46 AM:
Tom and Jerry
Posted by Joe Elliott (Member # 4006) on 07-22-2011, 06:06 AM:
Harold and Kumar
Posted by Ian Parfrey (Member # 5122) on 07-22-2011, 07:14 AM:
Ruff and Reddy
Posted by Tom Petrov (Member # 1534) on 07-22-2011, 07:52 AM:
Bacon & Eggs
Posted by Mike Blakesley (Member # 26) on 07-22-2011, 01:45 PM:
Mickey & Minnie
Posted by Aaron Garman (Member # 1653) on 07-22-2011, 01:48 PM:
Posted by Joe Elliott (Member # 4006) on 07-22-2011, 02:06 PM:
And Lardass just sat back and enjoyed what he created. A complete and total Barf-O-Rama!
Posted by Tom Petrov (Member # 1534) on 07-22-2011, 03:00 PM:
Federal Express
Posted by Greg Anderson (Member # 235) on 07-22-2011, 03:47 PM:
It will never end!
Posted by Tom Petrov (Member # 1534) on 07-22-2011, 04:06 PM:
Yes it will
Posted by Frank Angel (Member # 248) on 07-22-2011, 04:10 PM:
Will and Grace
Posted by Tom Petrov (Member # 1534) on 07-22-2011, 04:11 PM:
No way out
Posted by Ian Parfrey (Member # 5122) on 07-22-2011, 04:13 PM:
Vodka and Tonic
Posted by Tom Petrov (Member # 1534) on 07-22-2011, 04:14 PM:
Legends of the Fall
Come on, someone help change the lame & thingy
Posted by Randy Stankey (Member # 64) on 07-22-2011, 04:46 PM:
Sick and tired!
Posted by Tom Petrov (Member # 1534) on 07-22-2011, 05:06 PM:
NOOOOOOOOOOOO!
Posted by Frank Angel (Member # 248) on 07-22-2011, 05:09 PM:
The last thing I want to do is hurt you. But it's still on the list.
Posted by Randy Stankey (Member # 64) on 07-22-2011, 05:13 PM:
I thought it would be funny to make that as the last response because we are all sick and tired of that joke.
Now it's over and done with.
Posted by Tom Petrov (Member # 1534) on 07-22-2011, 05:41 PM:
Taylor Swift
Posted by Frank Angel (Member # 248) on 07-22-2011, 05:42 PM:
Over and done.
Width and height.
Hey, you said it, Randy, not me!
Posted by Aaron Garman (Member # 1653) on 07-22-2011, 06:53 PM:
Dorothy Mantooth is a saint!
here
[ 07-22-2011, 07:24 PM: Message edited by: Brad Miller ]
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