Film-Tech Forum ARCHIVE: What is the worst movie you've ever seen?

This is topic What is the worst movie you've ever seen? in forum Film-Yak at Film-Tech Forum ARCHIVE.

To visit this topic, use this URL:
https://ft-forum.com/ft/cgi-bin/ubb/ultimatebb.cgi?ubb=get_topic;f=8;t=007586

Posted by Cobi Fox (Member # 10476) on 05-20-2018, 05:28 PM:

We've all seen bad movies, whether we saw them in the theater or at home. Post the name of the worst one you've ever seen, and why it was awful.

One of the worst I've ever seen was The Master of Disguise. It was just pure and utter [bs]

. It was about this Italian spy and his apparently retarded son, whose name is (get this) Pistachio Disguisey. And Pistachio has to become a spy to save his father. The whole premise was bad, but the execution was horrendous. There was too much emphasis on awful fake Italian accents and fart jokes, and not enough on good acting and quality writing. This "film" shows Dana Carvey at his worst.

Posted by Matthew Ortado (Member # 5620) on 05-20-2018, 09:37 PM:

The worst for me was Pumpkin (2002) starring Christina Ricci. I went with my girlfriend, now wife. Total [thumbsdown]

Posted by Cobi Fox (Member # 10476) on 05-20-2018, 10:10 PM:

That one must be bad, because nobody I know has ever heard of it, even though it's a (relatively) recent release. Seriously though, who tf would call a movie Pumpkin? [Confused]

Posted by Leo Enticknap (Member # 534) on 05-20-2018, 10:12 PM:

For me, there are two different categories of "worst." The first, I actually enjoy: movies that are just so incompetently written, acted and directed (or are trying to make an artistic or political statement, and fail) that they achieve unintentional entertainment value. The second are those that don't quite achieve that pinnacle of mediocrity, and as a result are just frustrating to watch.

I've seen so many in both categories that I'd struggle to make a definitive choice for one in each. In the "so bad it's good" category, Big Jim McLain definitely scores very highly: it was made in the wake of the Hollywood Ten scandal, when almost every major actor, writer and director felt the need to make at least one patriotic feature in order to prove beyond doubt that they were not red under the bed. Most of the resulting films were rush job B-movies, with terrible scripts and performances, and not much better production values. This is easily the worst I've seen: even John Wayne and Nancy Olson can't rescue the movie from its script and are clearly not seriously trying, and the slimy commie villain is a laugh a minute.

In the "not quite bad enough to be funny" category, the Nazi Titanic comes to mind. Without anything else to redeem the movie, the cartoon character English and Jewish stereotypes would have sunk it cleanly (sorry!), not to mention inventing a blonde, blue-eyed German, who, as we all know, was the Titanic's first officer, who heroically tried to stop the whisky-chugging (from the bottle, of course) Captain Smith from crashing the boat into the iceberg. But the crowd scenes and special effects shots are too well done to be able to dismiss it totally.

Posted by Martin McCaffery (Member # 37) on 05-21-2018, 07:29 AM:

Well, there are movies I hate, movies that failed, and movies that were so bad they left a lasting impression.
In the latter category is Challenge (which I remember as Frank Challenge:Toughest Man in The World, which may have been the poster copy). It was the first movie produced by and starring Earl Owensby, the wannabe Roger Corman of North Carolina, made to cash in on the Walking Tall films. I saw it when I was an usher back around 1975. I don't know how it ended up in our theatre as it was obviously drive-in filler fare. Everything about it was amateur. The funniest thing I recall is the chase scene that was clearly filmed at about 20mph, with insert shots of the speedometer at some ridiculously high number.
At the end of the film there was a request to the audience to tell the management if they liked the film so Earl could make more movies. Must have worked because he did. The manager of my theatre hid in the office during the credits so he didn't have to talk to anyone about how bad the film was.

Posted by Sam Graham (Member # 2889) on 05-21-2018, 08:22 AM:

quote: Cobi Fox
That one must be bad, because nobody I know has ever heard of it, even though it's a (relatively) recent release. Seriously though, who tf would call a movie Pumpkin?

I caught up with this at home after it's release and was SCREAMING at the screen because I was really tired and it took me deep into the movie to realize it was a satire. Then I re-watched it and thought it was funny as hell.

From Roger Ebert's three and one half star review

quote:
"Pumpkin" defies description. Maybe it doesn't need a category, it needs a diagnosis. Relentlessly, and sometimes brilliantly, it forces us to decide what we really think, how permissive our taste really is, how far a black comedy can go before it goes too far. It's like a teenage sex comedy crossed with the darkest corners of underground comics. We laugh in three ways: with humor, with recognition and with disbelief.

Also, to answer the question, "Star Trek V".

Posted by Mitchell Dvoskin (Member # 751) on 05-21-2018, 10:33 AM:

I've seen a LOT of bad movies over the years, but still the worse one I have ever seen was Dusty And Sweets McGee (1971). 92 minutes of a couple shooting heroin in San Francisco to a rock and roll soundtrack. This is the only film that I actually paid money to see that I walked out of before the end.

Posted by Aaron Garman (Member # 1653) on 05-21-2018, 12:21 PM:

Minions. It was nothing more than a giant commercial. No heart, no story, no characters, just pure committee made marketing drivel.

0 stars and 2 thumbs DOWN.

Meanwhile, I enjoyed the first Despicable Me.

Posted by Francis C. Koch (Member # 10333) on 05-21-2018, 12:27 PM:

I joke with my wife that Dirty Dancing is the worst movie ever made because she loves it so, and it actually not a bad movie at all but I have a lot of fun telling her it is! Strange sense of humor that I have.
Seriously, Howard the Duck has got to be on the list as I could barley make it through that pile of feces.

Posted by Leo Enticknap (Member # 534) on 05-21-2018, 12:44 PM:

Shortly before I left the Egyptian, I was asked by the programmers to examine and provide condition reports on a private collection of about 20 70mm prints, in a deal worked out with the print owner and copyright owners, that could have resulted in public screenings (I don't know if any were ever played, because I left shortly after doing the print examinations).

They dated between 1974 and 1996, and most were either so pink or so battered that they were unplayable, or were of titles that we knew of better alternatives in circulation.

The one exception was a print of Howard the Duck, which was a magnetic, 6-track SR print that looked like it was fresh out of the lab. We put a reel up on the screen, and it looked and sounded like a brand new print.

I then did some Googling and figured out why. The movie was f---ing abysmal, universally panned, and pulled from almost everywhere it played after the opening weekend. In the case of one prestigious central London cinema, it was actually pulled during the opening weekend!

Sadly, there is an inverse correlation between the quality of a movie and the quality of any old print of it that happens to be be in circulation. The worse the movie, the better the print.

Posted by Mike Blakesley (Member # 26) on 05-21-2018, 01:29 PM:

As far as movies I've actually seen... I would have to say Rocky IV. (The one where he fights the Russian boxer) The story was stupid, the acting was bad, and the ending was so preposterous. Even Paulie and Adrian were horrible in it.

Posted by Don Furr (Member # 1469) on 05-21-2018, 02:13 PM:

I didn't get through the entire movie before turning it off but "It's Pat...The Movie" has got to be worse yet! I watched it from a DVD and I'm not sure if it ever got to theatres. It was that bad.

Posted by Frank Cox (Member # 6258) on 05-21-2018, 02:57 PM:

The biggest let-down I've ever had in terms of a movie that was supposed to be absolutely wonderful and turned out to be anything but is Natural Born Killers.

After hearing how great the movie is, I literally waited through the whole show and right up to the end credits I was thinking, "This is going to get really good any minute now."

And of course it never did.

What a waste of perfectly good film and time.

I'll have to give some more thought to what the actual worst movie I've ever seen was (maybe Class of Nuke 'Em High or one of the other Troma movies), but Natural Born Killers was definitely the biggest disappointment.

Posted by Cobi Fox (Member # 10476) on 05-22-2018, 04:10 PM:

quote: Leo Enticknap
Shortly before I left the Egyptian, I was asked by the programmers to examine and provide condition reports on a private collection of about 20 70mm prints, in a deal worked out with the print owner and copyright owners, that could have resulted in public screenings (I don't know if any were ever played, because I left shortly after doing the print examinations).

They dated between 1974 and 1996, and most were either so pink or so battered that they were unplayable, or were of titles that we knew of better alternatives in circulation.

The one exception was a print of Howard the Duck, which was a magnetic, 6-track SR print that looked like it was fresh out of the lab. We put a reel up on the screen, and it looked and sounded like a brand new print.

I then did some Googling and figured out why. The movie was f---ing abysmal, universally panned, and pulled from almost everywhere it played after the opening weekend. In the case of one prestigious central London cinema, it was actually pulled during the opening weekend!

Sadly, there is an inverse correlation between the quality of a movie and the quality of any old print of it that happens to be be in circulation. The worse the movie, the better the print.

Do you honestly mean to tell me that 70mm prints were wasted on Howard the Duck!?!?

Posted by Marcel Birgelen (Member # 6801) on 05-22-2018, 06:35 PM:

Just like I could never name "the best movie", I could equally never name "the worst movie".

It's a bit like choosing your favorite kid. It also hugely depends on the moment and obviously, your taste might change over the years.

But hooking into Howard the Duck, it's actually funny how the movie about this Marvel character became one of the most publicized flops ever. Keep in mind, making this movie was mostly the brainchild of George Lucas, even though he didn't direct it, he controlled almost all aspects of it.

George Lucas, the guy who gave us Star Wars, is somewhat of a strange fellow. I think he is, generally speaking, an abysmal director, you only need to look at the Star Wars prequels or at some other unfiltered work by him, like the animated movie Strange Magic from 2015 or what about the brilliantly awful Star Wars Holiday Special? Then again, there is some genuine creativity in him too, he seems to be able to create worlds and characters like no other but is simply incapable of dreaming up an appealing story, dialog or "semantic story glue", without the extensive input of others.

It's somewhat of a magic that despite him, we got the Star Wars we got today. I guess that if the original Star Wars would've hit the cinemas in a totally unfiltered way, it would've been a total disaster of a movie and we've never heard about Star Wars again, except maybe as a cult piece, very much like Turkish Star Wars*.

* It's actually a thing, it's called Dünyayı Kurtaran Adam (1982), it actually blatantly rips footage from other movies like Star Wars (whole scope segments fitted into the otherwise flat framed movie, so the Death Star becomes more of an Death Egg). You should try to get a copy (there are no GOOD copies) and have the best 91 minutes of your life. [Wink]

Posted by Cobi Fox (Member # 10476) on 05-22-2018, 07:06 PM:

I'd agree that George Lucas is a bit weird. I don't think that he had anything to do with the production of the Christmas special, though. And remember that although he gave us Howard the Duck and sold Star Wars to Disney, we can still thank him for Star Wars I-VI, American Graffiti, and Indiana Jones.

Just imagine how much bleaker the cinematic landscape would be without him!

Posted by Justin Hamaker (Member # 2165) on 05-22-2018, 10:09 PM:

If I look at this from the perspective of a movie I thought would be decent that turned out to be bad then I would say The Avengers from 1998. This is the one with Sean Connery, Ralph Fiennes, and Uma Thurman.

Posted by Martin McCaffery (Member # 37) on 05-22-2018, 10:15 PM:

^^^^
So! You're the one who watched that. [Wink]

Posted by Justin Hamaker (Member # 2165) on 05-22-2018, 10:42 PM:

Only as a QC screening, so it didn't cost me anything but time.

Posted by Mark Lensenmayer (Member # 134) on 05-23-2018, 07:45 AM:

RABBIT TEST - Billy Crystal plays the world's first pregnant man in this totally unfunny movie written by Joan Rivers.

NOTHING BUT TROUBLE - Chevy Chase, Dan Ackroyd, John Candy, Demi Moore in this awful movie directed by Dan Ackroyd. How bad was it? The HUMPTY DANCE is the highlight of the movie.

Posted by Sascha F. Roll (Member # 9043) on 05-23-2018, 07:56 AM:

Throwing something more recent into the ring: INDEPENDENCE DAY 2.
Good, what a waste of time and money.

Posted by Jim Cassedy (Member # 4115) on 05-23-2018, 09:46 AM:

quote: Leo Enticknap
one exception was a print of Howard the Duck, which was a magnetic,
6-track SR print that looked like it was fresh out of the lab.

and

quote: Leo Enticknap
The movie was f---ing abysmal, universally panned, and pulled from almost
everywhere it played after the opening weekend.

WoW!- - first of all I'm astounded that there were 70mm prints of this title.

Right around the time that movie was released, I had to drive over to a film depot
here in Northern CA to pick up a replacement reel of another movie for a theater
that needed it the next day to replace one that had been badly printed.

When I got to the loading dock, I noticed several workers pulling what looked like
brand new rolls of film, (35mm) on cores, out of cardboard lab boxes and tossing
them into a dumpster that was almost already overflowing with strips of celluloid.

"What's that?"; I curiously asked.
"Howard The Duck", the guy said, and then, pointing to one of the unopened lab
shipping boxes, he jokingly asked - "Want One?"

I'd heard what a bomb the movie was, and declined the facetious offer.

So the guy turns to his boss, and says:
"You see, Joe, - - we can't even GIVE these away!!", evoking much laughter
from all those within earshot.

I hadn't seen the film, but I had another reason for disliking it:

One of the scenes was filmed in an alley behind the place I was working at the
time, and their 'set up' with all their lights, cables and all their production trucks
totally blocked our cars from getting in or out of our private parking lot for several
hours in the middle of the day.

They claimed they had posted the required notices about the filming, and, indeed
there were some notices posted when we looked around lunch time.

But everyone affected agrees that there were NO notices posted the day before
or even that morning when we arrived for work. If they were posted it would
be highly unlikely and just about statistically impossible that not ONE of us
whose cars were stuck in the lot saw one posted before work that morning.

(We did see production trucks & film crews arriving and staging things, and
they clearly saw us going into the lot, but there were no notices posted and
nobody from the film crew said anything about our cars being blocked in for
the rest of the day when we arrived in the morning)

Posted by Mike Blakesley (Member # 26) on 05-23-2018, 12:20 PM:

There are occasional movies where even the title sort of sounds like it's going to be a flop, and "Howard the Duck" was one of those. I remember the first time I heard of it, and thought "well, that's a bomb." Later when I saw a trailer for it, that feeling only intensified. But I never saw the actual movie.

Last night I was looking for something to watch and I happened to land on "Mother, Jugs and Speed" which I can easily see is a pretty bad movie, but I have always liked it anyway, mostly due to Bill Cosby's performance. Some things just can't be explained.

Posted by Louis Bornwasser (Member # 3063) on 05-23-2018, 12:55 PM:

For the better Star Wars films, you had Marcia Lucas and Gary Kurz on board. Nuff said.

Posted by Leo Enticknap (Member # 534) on 05-23-2018, 01:12 PM:

quote: Jim Cassedy
I hadn't seen the film, but I had another reason for disliking it:

One of the scenes was filmed in an alley behind the place I was working at the time, and their 'set up' with all their lights, cables and all their production trucks totally blocked our cars from getting in or out of our private parking lot for several hours in the middle of the day.

The block of Las Palmas between Hollywood Boulevard and Selma is a favorite location for the studios shooting street scene exteriors: the rear entrance to the Egyptian is on it, and when it was closed off for a day, it was a serious pain in the neck.

The most memorable occasion happened on the opening night of a German film festival. Earlier that day, a guy from the studio came into the lobby, and casually explained that "we're gonna be blowing up an auto, around dusk," and that we shouldn't be alarmed at the noise. "Around dusk" meant 8pm-ish, about half an hour in to our gala premiere. Despite complaints and protestations, nothing could be done to stop it, and so our head of programming told the audience during the introductions, and warned them not to be alarmed.

The movie was a Victorian costume drama (sorry, can't remember what it was called), and the explosion happened during a scene in which the heroine had just been told that her fiance had been killed in the Napoleonic wars, and that she was dying of some gnarly disease or other. About 2-3 seconds after a tear started to trickle down her cheek ... KABOOM! The audience dissolved into fits of giggles.

Posted by Randy Stankey (Member # 64) on 05-23-2018, 04:01 PM:

I gotta' go with "Birdemic!"

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Birdemic:_Shock_and_Terror

https://www.imdb.com/title/tt1316037/
https://www.rottentomatoes.com/m/birdemic_shock_and_terror_2008?

Trailer: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jE5dJDgZ644

This movie is so bad it's hard to describe just how bad it is.
It has, however, developed a cult following among "bad" movie lovers.

James Nguyen, the guy who made it is so self-absorbed that, when the movie started getting a following, he thought people liked it so he made a sequel that's even WORSE and, to top it all off, he wants to make a "Birdemic 3!"

This movie is so bad it's almost good! The first time I saw it, I was like, "WTF?"... I thought it was made by high school students.

Posted by Tony Bandiera Jr (Member # 2365) on 05-23-2018, 04:41 PM:

LOL I not only screened "Birdemic" at UC Irvine, I am the proud owner of an autographed DVD from the filmmaker!

The worst movie I can think of (and I only saw the trailer) was a film in the 80's called "Chatterbox". (IMDB shows one done in 1977, which I don't think is the same one as the trailer I saw, but the premise is the same.) Chatterbox 1977

How did I know how bad this movie was, and the horrible premise?

Well, I was working at Davis-Monthan AFB at the base theatre... I made up the trailer reel of all green band trailers (including Chatterbox) and in my rush didn't pre-screen it.

As that reel was running during the afternoon G-Rated family matinee, I was inspecting the night show print. I had the booth monitor on and heard some squeaky voice dialog..as I went to the port to see what was playing, the manager ran up the stairs screaming "Turn it off! Turn it OFF!" ...just as I saw on the screen, the lead actress at Dodger Stadium, with a megaphone and mic in front of her va-jay-jay, singing the National Anthem! [Eek!]

At least she was fully clothed.

I shut the machine down and started the feature.

Needless to say, after that, a directive came down from AAFES (the agency that manages the theatres and Base Exchanges and stores) that ALL trailers shall be screened before showing to the public. [Big Grin]

Posted by Monte L Fullmer (Member # 2797) on 05-23-2018, 07:07 PM:

Now, dating myself here:

Worked at cinema as Chief Projectionist and for a Christmas Kid show in the early 1970's, the worst film ever hit the screen, but today it approaches a cult classic being so bad:

Santa Claus Conquers the Martians (1964)

Don't know how Joseph E. Levine got involved with this, but it was the first film with a very young Pia Zadora.

-Monte

Posted by Mark Gulbrandsen (Member # 72) on 05-24-2018, 09:12 AM:

It's Howard The Duck for me... What a total waste of time for everyone involved.

Mark

Posted by Bobby Henderson (Member # 840) on 05-24-2018, 02:09 PM:

Worst movie I've ever seen? That's a tough call since there are so many truly awful movies, yet comparing or ranking them in terms of awfulness is purely subjective. For example you could try comparing Madonna & Guy Ritchie's vanity movie Swept Away with Battlefield Earth. It would be like comparing the smell of a pig farm on a hot summer day to a swimming pool filled with cat pee.

Bad movies can be bad for different reasons and trigger different reactions from viewers, like boredom, indifference or unintentional laughter. I might feel sorry for certain people involved with a bad movie, such as a talented director getting overruled and burdened with stupid creative choices made by a vain A-list (soon to be B-list) actor.

Some bad movies just plain piss me off. Superman IV: The Quest for Peace falls in that category. Superman III (the one with Richard Pryor) was bad enough that it put the Christopher Reeve version of the saga on shaky ground. But the franchise was still salvageable. What did Warner Bros do? They put the 4th installment into the hands of Menahem Golan and Yoram Globus, the schlock-meisters at Cannon Films. Rather than revive a wounded franchise these guys just murdered it. The movie itself is filled with cringe-worthy moments. The plot is so broadly silly it feels like it was written in crayon by a six year old. The visual effects in the first three Superman movies weren't the greatest. The effects in the fourth movie were a steep down-grade, to the point of being embarrassing to watch. Lots of other corners were cut. You see it in the cheesy production values. IIRC it's the only one out of the four Christopher Reeve Superman movies not to have any 70mm prints. I don't know if that was intentional or if they cancelled any 70mm print orders due to bad test screening results.

Posted by Lyle Romer (Member # 1266) on 05-24-2018, 04:54 PM:

Hands down, Bulworth.

When it got to the rap about the "nappy dugout" that sealed the deal!

Posted by Allan Riddelll (Member # 5090) on 05-25-2018, 07:49 AM:

This is an easy one I wont easily forget. The year was around 1980 and the movie was a ghastly abomination called Double Agent 73 with an even ghastlier leading lady by the name of Chesty Morgan whose claim to fame was playing a spy with a 73 inch bust. The acting was horrible, the dialogue unspeakable and the scenes were virtually played with backs to the camera because the director believed in post syncing and the whole ungodly mess was picked up for distribution by American International who obviously saw the potential of such drivel.

Posted by Frank Angel (Member # 248) on 05-25-2018, 01:24 PM:

Just screened THE ROOM by this crazy guy Tommy Wiseau. Since it is fresh in my mind, like having seen a fatality on the highway, it kinda obliterates anything awful in the past, so rather than trying to remember other disasters, I'll go with this horror -- so bad it's funny. While the movie is something you show to film students to demonstrate every single point of filmmaking that can be done wrong, the back story is quite interesting, so much so that James Franco made a movie about it. THAT is worth seeing. THE DISASTER ARTIST: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mmk8lV2r2o4

Posted by Martin McCaffery (Member # 37) on 05-26-2018, 07:40 PM:

There are bad movies and then there are bad movies by people who should know better. My top two on that list are
Arthur Penn's Penn and Teller Get Killed. This movie is so incompetent the only excuse I can think of for its existence is Arthur Penn must have had a serious drug dept to pay off, or a loved one was taken hostage and he only have 3 days to pay the ransom.

Woody Allen's The Curse of the Jade Scorpion. So astonishingly bad (even by bad Woody Allen standards) it should be viewed by every student filmmaker in the country. I watched it with a group of about seven people. I was literally the only one awake at the end.

Posted by Michael Gonzalez (Member # 593) on 05-28-2018, 08:36 AM:

I guess I will admit that the 10yr old me liked Howard the Duck when I first watched it. No chance I am going to watch it again now however. I am pretty sure the 10yr old me also like the Duck Boobs. [Razz]

Posted by Cobi Fox (Member # 10476) on 05-28-2018, 11:27 AM:

quote: Michael Gonzalez
I am pretty sure the 10yr old me also like the Duck Boobs.

Posted by Mike Croaro (Member # 3123) on 05-28-2018, 12:28 PM:

"Mixed Nuts" with Steve Martin, Madline Kahn, Juliet Lewis. [puke]