His trick didn't work, because the porn reel had serious vinegar syndrome. With about 15 minutes to go until the changeover I put it on a bench and started winding it through in order to see if it was too brittle to run. The first frames joined to the leader showed an 'actress' performing an... shall we say... 'intimate act' with a large black labrador! It was a brief encounter alright, but not the sort our elderly customers would have wanted to see. There then followed a frantic search for the original reel, which was eventually discovered in my boss's locker (we had to break into it to retrieve the film).

We looked at the Foxy Boxers reel on a Steenbeck later, and I shudder to think what would have happened if it had gone on the screen. I think that criminal proceedings of some description would have been quite likely.

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I remember when I worked at the drive-in, that the most "splicy" prints were usually the soft-core features (e.g., Russ Meyer films) we played during the off-season. I suspect the frames weren't removed because of film damage.

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"This one time, at Projection Camp, I stuck a xenon bulb in a lamphouse...wait, that's not funny."

JJ

It gave me sadistic pleasure to send out the Funugy (FNG) for a new box of "Blue Sparks" for the lamphouse. If the fans were dirty, they would go around the aircraft supply to look for some "Prop Wash." But my favorite was to send them out for some "Fallopian Tubes."

Sure enough, the 1:85 film was SMPTE Frame numbered above each image.

In the USAF, one goes from basic traing to tech school to learn your career field. After tech school, one goes onto the first duty assignment. Once at the new assignment, one goes through a practical "ojt" program.

So, it came to pass that we had an ORI (annual operation Readiness inspection). During this ORI, extra bodies were desperately needed on the flightline, so naturally, we were given the greenshirts in the ojt program. So, a C-5 is taxing onto its spot and this clueless greenshirt is thrown a vest and wands and told to marshall the aircraft onto its spot. This kid somehow thought that the expidator told him to march onto the spot. So, he dons the vest and wands, pops to attention, and starts marching towards the nosewheel as the aircraft is taxing onto its spot! The expidator (a MSGT) had to jump out of his truck and tackle the kid to keep him from being run over!

Now, the radar on a C5 is in the nose of the aircraft. If one gets within a certain perimiter while it is in use, one will get zapped w/too much radiation! In any case, once on the ground, the flight crew shuts this system off.

Anyhow, to make matters worse for this kid, we told him that he had been zapped and that he needed to wear the vest and wands for the day so that the radiation would fall off of him. (this vest is nothing more that a school crossing guard reflective vest). Anyhow, when going into the squadron building, one MUST be pc in both attitude and dress/appearance! Needless to say that this kid got his ass reamed by the first shirt for being such a dumb-ass!

This same kid was a hydraulics tech. Now, one of the methods used to detect leaks in lines is to use non-petroleum based soap and water. But this kid's training supervisor told him to check for leaks by sniffing (with his nose) up and down each line! Ya, this kid also got in trouble for this stupidy, and his training supervisor also got yelled at for excessive cruelity!

Then there were the old classics like getting green shirts in trouble by sending them to the squadron orderly room for keys to the aircraft or to bench stock supply for a mile of flightline.