my profile | my password | search | faq & rules | forum home

» Film-Tech Forum ARCHIVE   » Operations   » Ground Level   » sleeping with or dating co-workers wrong? (Page 4)

This topic comprises 6 pages: 1  2  3  4  5  6

Author Topic: sleeping with or dating co-workers wrong? Steve Scott Phenomenal Film Handler Posts: 1300 From: Minneapolis, MN Registered: Sep 2000 posted 07-22-2004 01:23 PM                     quote: Matt Hefright its when play and work collide brusing the whole company that the trouble will start and go on down the line. Hmmm... maybe theater financial problems of earlier this decade could have been caused by employee relationships? Jeremy, you're right, that is what caused all of my relationships too. But it's a double edged sword I guess, in some places.  |  IP: Logged Leo Enticknap Film God Posts: 7474 From: Loma Linda, CA Registered: Jul 2000 posted 07-22-2004 07:40 PM                        The big risk, IMHO, is of a workplace relationship screwing up (the nasty way, not the nice way) and the ex-couple still trying to work there afterwards. I've seen it happen in a variety of workplaces (cinemas, archives and universities) and in each and every case there was always some fallout on third parties which they shouldn't have had to deal with. On one occasion I was caught in the middle between one of these relationship breakdowns (i.e. I was one of a team of three, with the other two consisting of the ex-couple) and had to deal with constant rants from each of them about how evil the other was. On another I was the line manager of one of them; I eventually lost patience and read her the riot act after she started having an almighty row with her ex in the cinema bar. Needless to say, I became known as the heartless Nazi of the whole place within minutes. Whereas you certainly couldn't ban workplace relationships even if doing so was a good idea, I do think that employers are entitled to include some statement in their staff handbooks to the effect that they don't care if employees are shagging another employee, their boss or even a goat; just as long as they make sure that the consequences of that relationship don't get in the way of their or their colleagues' professional duties. Personally I would avoid such relationships like the plague, simply because they seem to me to have such a high failure rate. I don't think I'd ask someone working in my own immediate department on a date even if I was attracted to her (though admittedly, the situation has never arisen), simply because the odds would be so high of the whole thing ending in tears.  |  IP: Logged Barry Martin Expert Film Handler Posts: 203 From: Newington, CT USA Registered: Jul 2002 posted 11-01-2004 12:03 PM                        Got a situation with this right now. My 17 year old concessionist who has a lot of problems already, but those haven't affected her work has now decided to date my 29 year old relief projectionist. Now, you would think there would be no problem as they never work together and when I found out they were dating she (concessionist) promised she's dated people at her other jobs and never lets it interfere with her work. Well, a couple weeks ago I brought my 2 year old to watch her first movie on the big screen, Shark Tale. Unfortunately, Shark Tale was not as good as her favorite, Finding Nemo so we had to leave the theater and spend some time in the lobby. I come out and find the two of them kissing. Not passionately or anything, but still. Now she wasn't working and we don't wear uniforms so to most it would appear harmless. I planned on having a talk when she was next working, but the next day I get a call from one of the owners who stopped by before I came out of Shark Tale and saw them sitting in the lobby with her head on his lap. Now, he does sell tickets/concession as needed so people coming out of the movie would definitely know at least he was an employee. When I confront the concessionist and bring up she said it would never interfere with work she explains SHE wasn't working. After our talk she didn't seem interested in seeing it didn't happen again so I told her she is not allowed in the theater on my day off any longer, and if she comes by for any reason, there would be consequences. Of course she thinks this terribly unfair as he works another job 5 days a week after she gets out of school so she only has 2 days to see him, one of which she works at the theater and the other he works at the theater. My suggestion is to date someone she goes to school with who will probably have a schedule closer to hers. Well, she is still begging to come in on my day off as it is supposedly the only day (despite only working 4 days/week and no matinees) that she can watch a movie. The owners are thinking of cutting back on hours anyways because of our poor attendance the last two months and suggest we start with the concessionist not only because of the issues but also because she works more hours than anyone. Now, I'm a bit of a hypocrite as I dated someone below me in the theater chain when I was a supervisor at Loews, but I never got a stern talking to or anything, just the GM warning me to be careful. We were fairly professional and didn't even have much occasion to talk to eachother let alone make out at work. Even when I was on break and she came by while not working I wouldn't let her get to close to me, let alone fondle me I do have one regret with the no-fraternization rule. Shortly after I stopped dating the girl below me at my home theater I was sent to Methuen, MA to open the Loews at the Loop as a Corporate Trainer. This was the only time I had ever heard of a no-fraternization rule at Loews and heard someone willing to enforce it so I listened. But there was one girl that worked concession close to my age that was cute as a button and came on to me pretty hard, I told her it wasn't allowed. Silly Barry, I had my own hotel room and everything. Plus, I was going to be back at my theater in 2 weeks or less, so we wouldn't be working in the same place. Methuen wasn't too far either. Oh well, I probably never would have met my wife (a weekly customer of the other place I worked at outside of movie theaters) and had our two daughters, all 3 of which are cuter than the Methuen girl.  |  IP: Logged Jack Ondracek Film God Posts: 2348 From: Port Orchard, WA, USA Registered: Oct 2002 posted 11-01-2004 04:21 PM                        Just an aside here... Over a two-year period, I relieved 2 Assistant Managers of their jobs... no notice, no questions, nothing... bye-bye. They both were observed... or caught red-handed in the booth, on the couch (or the floor) with female lobby personnel. In our case, the concession staff did not have anything to do with the booth, so we kept them out of the area. That policy also allowed us to keep the sound racks and other equipment relatively unsecured without worrying about knob-twisters. All staff knew the policy, and the Asst Mgrs violated it on nights when they had the theatre to themselves. All I needed was some of that malarkey to turn into a harassment issue. More responsibility + more authority = more accountability... (or it should).  |  IP: Logged Brad Allen Jedi Master Film Handler Posts: 688 From: Evansville, IN, USA Registered: May 2000 posted 11-02-2004 12:30 PM                     Barry, your asking for trouble. There's a reason I have a rule that employees that arn't scheduled to work are NOT allowed to come to the theatre to loaf. Period. Anyone that comes to pick up an employee, waits outside. I'd probably done like Jack, and fired them both on the spot. You know in some states, your 29 yr old projectionist is breaking the law by dating a 17 yr old and doing any If it's not breaking the law in your state, he's taking a big chance she'll claim he did have against her will when the relationship goes south, and it will. 17yr olds are brain dead. Tell your 17yr old the place is a business, and not a place for social engagements for her. Life isn't fair, and it's time she had a lesson. And your 29yr old needs smacked up side the head for being a moron.  |  IP: Logged David Yauch Expert Film Handler Posts: 206 From: Mesa, AZ, USA Registered: Oct 2004 posted 11-02-2004 02:44 PM                     I have seen tons of these little relationships bomb out, and the fallout can be terrible. A lot of times it's simply losing a good staff member because he/she can't work with the other anymore. But I really can't open my mouth here, since my fiancee is a co-worker. Not only that, we started dating when we were supervisor/subordinate, though we are on an even keel now and in projection all the time. I will say we would never let it interfere with getting work done and would never do anything anywhere in public view. Both of us understand the potential consequences to such action.  |  IP: Logged Barry Martin Expert Film Handler Posts: 203 From: Newington, CT USA Registered: Jul 2002 posted 11-02-2004 09:27 PM                        Brad, I realize the problems and I've told them it's not acceptable, but aside from firing someone there is not much else to be done. The projectionist would be a real pain to replace as we're not exactly teeming with movie theaters around here, so not many experienced and being only a twin we don't have much practice to offer a newcomer. The concessionist...sigh....she is a good girl who is just screwing up (no pun intended) and the owners are trying to help her straighten out. She was fired from their ice cream shop for coming around after hours to socialize with some unsavory people. She has worked the theater for 3 years though and we'd hate to fire her but that is probably where it's going. We have to cut back on hours right now anyway by having one of the owners come in and work instead, and the 17 year old has said this may mean she needs a different job. As far as the legality of their dating/boning, I have no idea. I'm from MA until I moved here in VT in April, and don't know if it's legal or not, though (of course) they say it is. We'll see what happens, hopefully it will turn out for the best for the theater and the two employees.  |  IP: Logged Randy Stankey Film God Posts: 6539 From: Erie, Pennsylvania Registered: Jun 99 posted 11-02-2004 10:36 PM                     "Don't eat where you shit." Aside from all the interpersonal bullshit that arises when employess date one another, there is another problem that can come up, even between people who aren't dating or having sex but who are simply "good friends". Two people start out on the same level but one of them gets promoted. Now you have the situation where it's one person's job to tell the other one what to do. The higher up will find him/herself in a sticky double-bind: 1) The friend says, "Hey! We're buddies! You can't make me do that!" 2) Other people say, "Hey! Why don't you give US the same slack you give your buddy!?" It's a very tough position to be in when you have to decide between your friendship and your job! The best way to avoid it is to stay away from situations where you have to decide. Of course, there's an exception to every rule. However, I would take those exceptions as very rare special cases which should be dealt with on an individual basis. Long story short: Don't date people you work with.  |  IP: Logged Edward Jurich Master Film Handler Posts: 305 From: Las Vegas USA Registered: Jul 2003 posted 11-02-2004 11:34 PM                     quote: Brad Miller Now where's your member picture? Gee, I sent in my updated picture twice and it's yet to replace my old, old one....  |  IP: Logged Steve Kraus Film God Posts: 4094 From: Chicago, IL, USA Registered: May 2000 posted 11-03-2004 12:20 AM                    Per the handy dandy Age of Consent Chart Vermont's is 16. (It seems to come up often enough on F-T that maybe it should be in the links list! ) Only a handful of states have it at 18. Most are 16; some 17.  |  IP: Logged Daryl C. W. O'Shea Film God Posts: 3977 From: Midland Ontario Canada (where Panavision & IMAX lenses come from) Registered: Jun 2002 posted 11-03-2004 12:21 AM                        Handy dandy! Don't leave home without it.  |  IP: Logged Steve Kraus Film God Posts: 4094 From: Chicago, IL, USA Registered: May 2000 posted 11-03-2004 12:22 AM                    Or plan your travel accordingly. J/K  |  IP: Logged Jarrod Cocker Film Handler Posts: 33 From: a Registered: Oct 2004 posted 11-03-2004 04:26 AM                    For the record- i'm all for it. I am still currently dating my 19yr gf - we've been together for 2 years next tuesday. And yes, we meet through work - she was a newbie cnady bar chick, and i was the projectionist. Hell, when i was showing her around bio (oh sorry, 'the booth') she was listing to one particular film, and instead of turning down the speaker volume when she was done, (for the speaker in projection) she turned down the volume in the cinema... For 10 minutes... and about 25 comps! Ahh, love, isn't it sweet! oh, and by they way - im only 18, so its not at all wierd that im dating a 19 year old~~~ Just incase anyway was staring to think maybe im a bit of a creap!  |  IP: Logged Steve Kraus Film God Posts: 4094 From: Chicago, IL, USA Registered: May 2000 posted 11-03-2004 08:23 AM                    No, we think it's nice you're willing to date the elderly. quote: Jarrod Cocker she turned down the volume in the cinema Of course you administered punishment...later...while alone. (Yes, I'm trying to see how many self reputation destroying quips I can put into one thread. )  |  IP: Logged Daryl C. W. O'Shea Film God Posts: 3977 From: Midland Ontario Canada (where Panavision & IMAX lenses come from) Registered: Jun 2002 posted 11-03-2004 07:15 PM                        There's more than one use for a make-up table you know!  |  IP: Logged

All times are Central (GMT -6:00)

This topic comprises 6 pages: 1  2  3  4  5  6

Printer-friendly view of this topic

Hop To: Select a Forum: Category: Operations -------------------- Digital Cinema Forum Film Handlers' Forum Large Format Forum Ground Level Feature Info, Trailer Attachments & REAL Credit Offsets Category: Community -------------------- Film-Yak Film Handlers' Movie Reviews The Afterlife Bob Maar's Joke-A-Thon Category: Classified -------------------- Equipment and Supplies Wanted/For Sale Help Wanted/Seeking Employment Category: System -------------------- Software Beta Testing Forum

The Film-Tech Forums are designed for various members related to the cinema industry to express their opinions, viewpoints and testimonials on various products, services and events based upon speculation, personal knowledge and factual information through use, therefore all views represented here allow no liability upon the publishers of this web site and the owners of said views assume no liability for any ill will resulting from these postings. The posts made here are for educational as well as entertainment purposes and as such anyone viewing this portion of the website must accept these views as statements of the author of that opinion and agrees to release the authors from any and all liability.