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WHEN IN DOUBT ABOUT ENEMY JAPS,EMPTY THE MAGAZINE.
A sticker with Stitch in the same outfit reads-SEMPER FI STITCH.

~PARTY AT THE COMMANDANTS QUARTERS~

The Commandant of the Marine Corps was General Al Grey, a crusty old "Field Marine". He loved his Marines and often slipped into the mess hall wearing a faded old field jacket without any rank insignia on it. He would go through the chow line just like a private. (In this way, he was assured of being given the same rations that the lowest enlisted man received. And, woe be it to the Mess Officer if the food was found to be "unfit inquality or quantity".)

Upon becoming Commandant, General Grey was expected to do a great deal of "formal entertaining", fancy dinner parties in full Dress Blue uniform. Now, the General would rather have been in the field eating cold "C-rats" around a fighting hole with a bunch of young "hard charging" Marines. But, the General knew his duty, and as a Marine, he was determined to do it to the best of his ability.

During these formal parties a detachment of highly polished Marines from "Eighth and Eye" (Marine Barracks located at 8th and I Streets in Washington, D.C.) were detailed to assume the position of "Parade Rest" at various intervals around the ballroom where the festivities were being held.

At some point during one of these affairs, a very refined, big chested, blue haired lady picked up a tray of pastry and went around the room offering confections to the guests. When she noticed these Marines in Dress Blues, standing like sculptures all around the room, she was moved with admiration. She knew that several of these men were fresh from our victory in DesertStorm.

She made a "beeline" for the closest Lance Corporal. As she drew near him she asked, "Would you like pastry young man?"

The young Marine snapped to "Attention" and replied, "I don't eat that shit Ma'am." Just as quickly, he resumed the position of "Parade Rest".

His gaze remained fixed on some distant point throughout the exchange. The fancy lady was taken aback! She blinked, her eyes widened, her mouth dropped open. So startled was she that she immediately began to doubt what she had heard.

In a quivering voice she asked, "W-W-What did you say?"The Marine snapped back to the position of "Attention" (like the arm of a mouse trap smacking it's wooden base as it is tripped).Then he said, "I don't eat that shit Ma'am." And, just as smartly as before, back to the position of "Parade Rest" he went.

This time there was no doubt. The fancy lady immediately became incensed, and felt insulted. After all, here she was an important lady, taking the time to offer something nice to this enlisted man, (well below her station in life). And he had the nerve to say THAT to HER! She exclaimed, "Well! I never...!"

The fancy lady remembered that she had met "that military man who was over all these 'soldiers'" a little earlier. She spotted General Grey from across the room. He had a cigar clenched between his teeth and a camouflaged canteen cup full of liquor in his left hand. He was talking to a group of 1st and 2nd Lieutenants.

The blue haired lady went straight over to the Commandant and interrupted, "General, I offered some pastry to that young man over there. And, do you know what he told me?"

General Grey cocked his eyebrow, took the cigar out of his mouth and said, "Well, no Ma'am. I don't."

The lady took in a deep breath, confident that she was expressing with her body language her rage and indignation. As she wagged her head in cadence with her words, and she paused between each word for effect, "He - said, I - don't - eat - that - SHIT - Ma'am!"

The Lieutenants standing there were in a state of flux. A couple of them choked back chuckles, and turned their heads to avoid having their smirks detected. The next thought most of them had, "God, I hope it wasn't one of MY Marines!", and the color left their faces.

General Grey wrinkled his brow, cut his eyes in the direction of the Lieutenants, put his free hand to his chin and expelled a subdued, "Hummm." "Which one did you say it was Ma'am?", the General asked.

"That tall sturdy one right over there near the window, General," the woman said with smug satisfaction.

One of the Lieutenants began to look sick and put a hand on the wall for support.

This Marine drill instructor, completely frazzled by the ineptitude of his recruits, burst into a blue streak of swearing hot enough to blister paint.

He broke off suddenly when he noticed one of the recruits had been talking in ranks.

"WHAT WAS THAT YOU SAID, RECRUIT??" the drill sergeant hollered.

From a Film-Tech Squid In Washington State who know what he is talking about. AND you all know him.

USMC Rules for Combat

1. Bring a gun. Preferably, bring at least two guns. Bring all of your
friends who have guns.

2. Anything worth shooting is worth shooting twice. Ammo is cheap. Life
is expensive.

3. Only hits count. The only thing worse than a miss is a slow miss.

4. If your shooting stance is good, you're probably not moving fast
enough nor using cover correctly.

5. Move away from your attacker. Distance is your friend. (Lateral and
diagonal movement are preferred.)

6. If you can choose what to bring to a gunfight, bring a long gun and a
friend with a long gun.

7. In ten years nobody will remember the details of caliber, stance, or
tactics. They will only remember who lived.

8. If you are not shooting, you should be communicating, reloading, and
running.

9. Accuracy is relative: most combat shooting standards will be more
dependent on "pucker factor" than the inherent accuracy of the gun.

9.5 Use a gun that works EVERY TIME. "All skill is in vain when an Angel
pisses in the flintlock of your musket."

10. Someday someone may kill you with your own gun, but they should have
to beat you to death with it because it is empty.

11. Always cheat; always win. The only unfair fight is the one you lose.

12. Have a plan.

13. Have a back-up plan, because the first one won't work.

14. Use cover or concealment as much as possible.

15. Flank your adversary when possible. Protect yours.

16. Don't drop your guard.

17. Always tactical load and threat scan 360 degrees.

18. Watch their hands. Hands kill. (In God we trust. Everyone else, keep
your hands where I can see them).

19. Decide to be aggressive ENOUGH, quickly ENOUGH.

20. The faster you finish the fight, the less shot you will get.

21. Be polite. Be professional. But, have a plan to kill everyone you
meet.

22. Be courteous to everyone, friendly to no one.

23. Your number one Option for Personal Security is a lifelong
commitment to avoidance, deterrence, and de-escalation.

24. Do not attend a gunfight with a handgun, the caliber of which does
not start with a "4."

Navy Rules for Combat

1. Go to Sea

2. Send the Marines

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