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This topic comprises 4 pages: 1 2 3 4
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Author
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Topic: United States Marines
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Bob Maar
(Maar stands for Maartini)
Posts: 28608
From: New York City & Newport, RI
Registered: Feb 2001
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posted 01-04-2006 04:18 PM
Rated G ![[Smile]](smile.gif) Michael
The Korean War, in which the Marine Corps fought and won some of its most brutal battles, was not without its gallows humor. During one such conflict a ROK (Republic of Korea) commander, whose unit was fighting along with the Marines, called legendary Marine Chesty Puller to report a major Chinese attack in his sector. "How many Chinese are attacking you?" asked Puller.
"Many, many Chinese!" replied the excited Korean officer. Puller asked for another count and got the same answer "Many, many Chinese!"
"X*#dammit!" swore Puller, "Put my Marine liaison officer on the radio."
In a minute, an American voice came over the air: "Yes sir?"
"Lieutenant," growled Chesty, "exactly how many Chinese you got up there?"
"Colonel, we got a whole shitload of Chinese up here!"
"Thank God," exclaimed Puller, "At least there's someone up there who knows how to count!" ![[Big Grin]](biggrin.gif)
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Bob Maar
(Maar stands for Maartini)
Posts: 28608
From: New York City & Newport, RI
Registered: Feb 2001
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posted 08-03-2006 05:07 PM
Rated X
The Commandant of the Marine Corps was General Al Gray,a crusty old "Field Marine." He loved his Marines and often slipped into the mess hall wearing a faded old field jacket without any rank insignia on it. He would go through the chow line just like a private. (In this way,assured of being given the same rations that the lowest enlisted man received. And, woe be it to the mess officer if the food was found to be "unfit in quality or quantity.)
Upon becoming Commandant,General Gray was expected to do a great deal of"formal entertaining," fancy dinner parties in full dress blue uniform. Now, the general would rather have been in the field eating cold "C-rats" around a fighting hole with a bunch of young "hard charging" Marines.But the General knew his duty, and as a Marine he was determined to do it to the best of his ability.
During these formal parties a detachment of highly polished Marines from "Eighth and Eye" (Marine Barracks located at 8th and I Streets in Washington, D.C.,home of the Silent Drill Team) were detailed to assume the position of "parade rest" at various intervals around the ballroom where the festivities were being held.
At some point during one of these affairs,a very refined, big-chested,blue-haired lady picked up a tray of pastry and went around the room offering confections to the guests. When she noticed these Marines in dress blues,standing like sculptures all around the room, she was moved with admiration.
She knew that several of these men were fresh from our victory in Desert Storm.She made a beeline for the closest Lance Corporal,drew near him and asked,"Would you like pastry young man?"
The young Marine snapped to "attention" and replied,"I don't eat that shit, Ma'am." Just as quickly,he resumed the position of "parade rest." His gaze remained fixed on some distant point throughout the exchange.
The fancy lady was completely taken aback! She blinked, her eyes widened,her mouth dropped open.So startled was she that she immediately began to doubt what she had heard. In a quivering voice she asked,"W-W-What did you say?"
The Marine snapped back to the position of "attention" (like the arm of a mousetrap smacking it's wooden base).Then he said,"I don't eat that shit, Ma'am." And just as smartly as before,back to the position of "parade rest" he went.
This time,there was no doubt.The fancy lady immediately became incensed,and felt insulted.After all,here she was an important lady,taking the time to offer something nice to this enlisted man (well below her station in life), and he had the nerve to say THAT to HER! She exclaimed,"Well! I never...!" The lady remembered that she had met "that military man in charge of all these 'soldiers' earlier. She spotted General Gray from across the room. He had a cigar clenched between his teeth and a camouflaged canteen cup full of bourbon in his left hand. He was talking to a group of 1st and 2nd Lieutenants. So blue haired lady went straight over to the Commandant and interrupted."General, I offered some pastry to that young man over there.And, do you know what he told me?"
General Gray cocked his eyebrow, took the cigar out of his mouth and said,"Well, no Ma'am, I don't."
The lady took in a deep breath,confident that she was adequately expressing with her body language her considerable rage and indignation.As she wagged her head in cadence with her words,and she paused between each word for effect,"He said,'I - don't- eat - that - shit - Ma'am!'"
The lieutenants were in a state of near apoplexy A couple of them choked back chuckles,and turned their heads to avoid having their smirks detected.The next thought that most of them had was,"God, I hope it wasn't one of MY Marines!" and the color left their faces.
General Gray wrinkled his brow, cut his eyes in the direction of the lieutenants,put his free hand to his chin and muttered a subdued,"Hummm.Which one did you say it was Ma'am?,"the General asked."That tall sturdy one right over there near the window, General," the woman said with smug satisfaction.
One of the lieutenants began to look sick and put a hand on the wall for support.
General Gray,seemed deep in thought, hand still to his chin, wrinkled brow.Suddenly, he looked up and his __expression changed to one indicating he had made a decision. He looked the fancy lady right in the eyes and said, "Well, fuck him! Don't give him any."
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Bob Maar
(Maar stands for Maartini)
Posts: 28608
From: New York City & Newport, RI
Registered: Feb 2001
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posted 02-07-2007 02:29 PM
Rated R ![[Eek!]](eek.gif) Denny in Yonkers
ONCE A MARINE ALWAYS A MARINE
On their 50th anniversary, a wife found the negligee she wore on her wedding night and put it on.She went to her husband, a retired Marine pilot, and said:"Honey, do you remember this?"
He looked up from his newspaper and said: "Yes dear, I do. You wore that same negligee the night we were married"
She said, "Yes, that's right. Do you remember what you said to me that night?"
He nodded and said, "Yes dear, I said; 'Oh baby, I'm going to suck the life out of those boobs and screw your brains out."
She giggled and said; "That's exactly what you said. So now it's fifty years later, and I'm in the same negligee. What do you have to say tonight?"
He looked her up and down and replied, " Mission accomplished."
I guess we all know where he spent that night?
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Bob Maar
(Maar stands for Maartini)
Posts: 28608
From: New York City & Newport, RI
Registered: Feb 2001
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posted 05-30-2007 01:20 PM
Rated G Ed in Middletown, NY
THE FINAL INSPECTION
The Marine stood and faced God,
Which must always come to pass.
He hoped his shoes were shining,
Just as brightly as his brass.
"Step forward now, Marine,
How shall I deal with you?
Have you always turned the other cheek?
To My Church have you been true?"
The soldier squared his shoulders and said,
"No, Lord, I guess I ain't.
Because those of us who carry guns,
Can't always be a saint.
I've had to work most Sundays,
And at times my talk was tough.
And sometimes I've been violent,
Because the world is awfully rough.
But, I never took a penny,
That wasn't mine to keep...
Though I worked a lot of overtime,
When the bills got just too steep.
And I never passed a cry for help,
Though at times I shook with fear.
And sometimes, God, forgive me,
I've wept unmanly tears.
I know I don't deserve a place,
Among the people here.
They never wanted me around,
Except to calm their fears
If you've a place for me here, Lord,
It needn't be so grand.
I never expected or had too much,
But if you don't, I'll understand.
There was a silence all around the throne,
Where the saints had often trod.
As the Marine waited quietly,
For the judgment of his God.
"Step forward now, you Marine,
You've borne your burdens well.
Walk peacefully on Heaven's streets,
You've done your time in Hell."
~Author Unknown~
It's the Soldier, not the reporter Who has given us the freedom of the press.
It's the Soldier, not the poet, Who has given us the freedom of speech.
It's the Soldier, not the politicians That ensures our right to Life, Liberty and the Pursuit of Happiness.
It's the Soldier who salutes the flag, Who serves beneath the flag, And whose coffin is draped by the flag.
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Bob Maar
(Maar stands for Maartini)
Posts: 28608
From: New York City & Newport, RI
Registered: Feb 2001
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posted 12-17-2007 02:06 PM
Rated G
A Christmas Marine
T'was the night before Christmas, he lived all alone
In a one-bedroom house made of plaster and stone.
I had come down the chimney with presents to give
And to see whom in this house did live.
As I looked all around a strange sight I did see,
No tinsel, no presents, not even a tree.
No stockings by the fire, just boots full of sand.
On the wall hung pictures of a far-away land.
With medals and badges, awards of all kinds,
A sobering thought soon came to my mind.
For this house was different, unlike any I'd seen.
This was the house of a U.S. Marine.
I'd heard stories about them, so I had to see more.
I walked down the hallway and pushed open the door.
And there he lay sleeping. Silent. Alone.
Curled up on the floor of his one-bedroom home.
He seemed so gentle, his face so serene.
Not how I pictured a U.S. Marine.
Was this the hero of whom I'd just read?
Curled up on his poncho, a floor for his bed?
His head was clean shaven, his face weathered tan.
I soon understood this was more than a man.
For I realized families that I had just seen that night
Owed their lives to these men, so willing to fight.
Soon around the nation the children would play
And grown-ups would celebrate a bright Christmas Day.
They enjoyed freedom each day and all year
Because of Marines like the one lying here.
I couldn't help but wonder how many lay alone
On a cold Christmas Eve in a land far from home.
Just the very thought brought a tear to my eye.
I dropped to my knees and I started to cry.
He must have awakened for I heard a rough voice.
"Santa, Don't cry. This is my choice.
I fight for freedom. I don't ask for more.
My life is my God, my Country, my Corps."
With that he rolled over, drifted off into sleep.
I couldn't control it, I continued to weep.
I watched him for hours. So silent. So still.
I noticed he shivered from the cold night's chill.
So I took off my jacket, the one made of red,
To cover this Marine from his toes to his head.
Then I put on his tee-shirt of scarlet and gold,
With an eagle, globe and anchor emblazoned so bold.
Although it barely fit me, I began to swell with pride.
For one shining moment, I was the Marine Corps deep inside.
I didn't want to leave him, so quiet in the night,
This guardian of honor, so willing to fight.
But, half asleep, he rolled over, and in a voice clean and pure,
Said, "Carry on, Santa, it's Christmas Day - All Secure."
One look at my watch and I knew he was right.
Merry Christmas, my friend. Semper Fi - and good night!
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Bob Maar
(Maar stands for Maartini)
Posts: 28608
From: New York City & Newport, RI
Registered: Feb 2001
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posted 11-12-2008 11:00 AM
Rated G Jokester
The Old Man
As I came out of the supermarket that sunny day, pushing my cart of groceries towards my car, I saw an old man with the hood of his car up and a lady sitting inside the car, with the door open.
The old man was looking at the engine. I put my groceries away in my car and continued to watch the old gentleman from about twenty five feet away.
I saw a young man in his early twenties with a grocery bag in his arm, walking towards the old man. The old gentleman saw him coming too and took a few steps towards him. I saw the old gentleman point to his open hood and say something.
The young man put his grocery bag into what looked like a brand new Cadillac Escalade and then turn back to the old man and I heard him yell at the old gentleman saying, "You shouldn't even be allowed to drive a car at your age." And then with a wave of his hand, he got in his car and peeled rubber out of the parking lot.
I saw the old gentleman pull out his handkerchief and mop his brow as he went back to his car and again looked at the engine. He then went to his wife and spoke with her and appeared to tell her it would be okay.
I had seen enough and I approached the old man. He saw me coming and stood straight and as I got near him, I said, "Looks like you're having a problem."
He smiled sheepishly and quietly nodded his head. I looked under the hood myself and knew that whatever the problem was, it was beyond me.
Looking around I saw a gas station up the road and told the old man that I would be right back. I drove to the station and went inside and saw three attendants working on cars. I approached one of them and related the problem the old man had with his car and offered to pay them if they could follow me back down and help him.
The old man had pushed the heavy car under the shade of a tree and appeared to be comforting his wife. When he saw us he straightened up and thanked me for my help. As the mechanics diagnosed the problem (overheated engine) I spoke with the old gentleman.
When I shook hands with him earlier he had noticed my Marine Corps ring and had commented about it, telling me that he had been a Marine too. I nodded and asked the usual question, "What outfit did you serve with?"
He had mentioned that he served with the first Marine Division at Tarawa, Saipan, Iwo Jima and Guadalcanal. He had hit all the big ones and retired from the Corps after the war was over.
As we talked we heard the car engine come on and saw the mechanics lower the hood. They came over to us as the old man reached for his wallet, but was stopped by me and I told him I would just put the bill on my AAA card.
He still reached for the wallet and handed me a card that I assumed had his name and address on it and I stuck it in my pocket. We all shook hands all around again and I said my goodbye's to his wife.
I then told the two mechanics that I would follow them back up to the station. Once at the station I told them that they had interrupted their own jobs to come along with me and help the old man. I said I wanted to pay for the help, but they refused to charge me.
One of them pulled out a card from his pocket looking exactly like the card the old man had given to me. Both of the men told me then, that they were Marine Corps Reserves. Once again we shook hands all around and as I was leaving, one of them told me I should look at the card the old man had given to me. I said I would and drove off.
For some reason I had gone about two blocks when I pulled over and took the card out of my pocket and looked at it for a long, long, time. The name of the old gentleman was on the card in golden leaf and under his name... 'Congressional Medal of Honor Society.'
I sat there motionless looking at the card and reading it over and over. I looked up from the card and smiled to no one but myself and marveled that on this day, four Marines had all come together, because one of us needed help. He was an old man all right, but it felt good to have stood next to greatness and courage and an honor to have been in his presence.
* The Medal of Honor is the highest award for valor in action against an enemy force which can be bestowed upon an individual serving in the Armed Services of the United States. Generally presented to its recipient by the President of the United States of America in the name of Congress, it is often called the Congressional Medal of Honor.
A heart-felt thanks to all vets who have served our country. God bless us all. --Ralph Semper fi! (Bob)
[ 11-12-2008, 05:33 PM: Message edited by: Bob Maar ]
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