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Author Topic: Movie Theaters Bob Maar (Maar stands for Maartini) Posts: 28608 From: New York City & Newport, RI Registered: Feb 2001 posted 09-19-2003 11:54 AM                        Rated G Lorraine Jill was selling tickets at the movie house when I got a phone call. This woman said, "How much is a ticket?" Jill said, "Seven Dollars." She said, "How much for children?" Jill said, "Same price, Seven Dollars." She said, "The airlines charge half fare for children." Jill said, "OK, put the kids on a plane somewhere, and you come to the movie. You'll enjoy it a lot more that way."  |  IP: Logged Scott Norwood Film God Posts: 8146 From: Boston, MA. USA (1774.21 miles northeast of Dallas) Registered: Jun 99 posted 11-05-2003 06:47 AM                        Rated G Overheard at a movie theater snack bar: Customer: "I'll have a large popcorn." Clerk: "Sorry, our popper is broken. How about a hotdog?" Customer: "Ok, I'll have a hot dog." Clerk: "We're out of hot dogs."  |  IP: Logged Bob Maar (Maar stands for Maartini) Posts: 28608 From: New York City & Newport, RI Registered: Feb 2001 posted 11-21-2003 11:35 AM                        Rated G : Sue Bee They sat in the dark theater waiting for the movie to begin.The screen finally lit up with a flashy ad for the theater's concession stand but the sound was missing.The film began but silence continued. Then out of the darkness,an irritated voice in the crowd shouted,"Okay, who's got the remote?"  |  IP: Logged Bob Maar (Maar stands for Maartini) Posts: 28608 From: New York City & Newport, RI Registered: Feb 2001 posted 12-02-2003 11:59 AM                        Rated G A man follows a woman out of a movie theatre. She has a dog on a leash. He stops her and says, "I'm sorry to bother you, but I couldn't help but notice that your dog was really into the movie. He cried at the right spots,he moved nervously in his seat at the boring parts,but most of all,he laughed like crazy at the funny parts. Did you find that unusual?" "Yes," she replied, "I found it very unusual... because he hated the book!"  |  IP: Logged Bob Maar (Maar stands for Maartini) Posts: 28608 From: New York City & Newport, RI Registered: Feb 2001 posted 12-02-2003 12:29 PM                        Rated G Michele A famous football coach was on vacation with his family in Maine. When they walked into a movie theater and sat down, the handful ofpeople there applauded.He thought to himself,"I can't believe it.People recognize me all the way up here." Then a man came over to him and said,"Thanks for coming. They won't start the movie unless we have ten paying people or more."  |  IP: Logged Bob Maar (Maar stands for Maartini) Posts: 28608 From: New York City & Newport, RI Registered: Feb 2001 posted 01-29-2004 09:41 PM                        Rated G Porno Movie Titles based on real movies Sperms of Endearment Saving Ryan's Privates Romancing The Bone For Your Thighs Only Three Men And A Barbie On Golden Blonde Intercourse With The Vampire Jurassic Pork Sleeping Booty The Loin King The Sperminator Cum And Cummer White Men Can't Hump You've Got Male I'll Do Anyone Snatch Adams Schindler's Fist Beverly Hills Copulator The Joy Suck Club Inspect Her Gadget Free My Willy I Know Who You Did Last Summer Die Hard-on Wet Dreams May Cum Humped Back at Notre Dame RobinÕs Wood Batman in Robin Breakfast On Tiffany Riding Miss Daisy Ed's Wood Legs Wide Shut American Booty Field Of Wet Dreams Good Will Humping Pants/Off Full Latex Jacket Man On The Poon Robocock Young Buns Honey, I Shrunk Your Clit Bonfire of the Panties The Bone Ranger Glad-He-Ate-Her Caddysnatch Orifice Space The Brady Munch Pump Fiction Gang Bang Related XXX-Men Position: Impossible The Loin King Play it to the Boner Porn on the 4th of July South Pork: Big, Long, and Uncut Throbbin' Hood Rambone A Rear And Pleasant Danger Mr. Holland's Anus Buttman Forever My Bare Lady Creamer vs. Creamer Yank My Doodle, It's a Dandy Das Butt Diddle-Her on the Roof Sorest Rump Ordinary Peepholes Three Days Of The Condom For Your Ass Only Men in Back The Inside-her Ball Street Spray it Forward My Best Friends Wetting The Legend in Bagger's Pants Great Sexpectations Six Degrees of Penetration Pulp Friction A Midsummer Night's Cream As You Stroke It Who Lies Beneath Womb Raider Saturday Night Beaver Honey, I Shanked The Kids Lord Of The Cock Rings Booty & The Beast Chitty Chitty Gang Bang Add Momma To The Train Twin Cheeks Gangbangs Of New York Star Whores Breast Side Story The Magnificent Semen The Porn Identity Charlie's Anals Twat Lies Beneath Eyes Wide Slut Bang Hur Bang The Dong Slowly Driving Into Miss Daisy Planet Of The Gapes The Sexorcist Porn Free Sleeping With The Enema The Bad Nudes Bared My Big Fat Greek Penis Inspect Her Gadget Shaving Ryan's Privates Anus & Andy Black Booty CreamCatcher Apollo's 13 When Harry Wet Sally Das Booty Itty Bitty Gang Bang Lord Of The G-Strings:  |  IP: Logged Bob Maar (Maar stands for Maartini) Posts: 28608 From: New York City & Newport, RI Registered: Feb 2001 posted 03-12-2004 06:58 AM                        Rated G Michele I wanted to take my kids to the movies but did not want to wait on line to buy the tickets,so I called ahead to the theater to purchase them over the phone. I asked, "How much is a ticket?" They said, "Seven dollars." I asked, "How much for children?" They said, "Same price, Seven dollars." I said, "The airlines charge half fare for children." They said, "OK, put your kids on a plane somewhere, and you come to the movie. You'll enjoy it a lot more that way."  |  IP: Logged Bob Maar (Maar stands for Maartini) Posts: 28608 From: New York City & Newport, RI Registered: Feb 2001 posted 05-06-2004 08:57 AM                        Rated G Ed in Aurora,Ont. A man goes to see Mel Gibson's new movie, The Passion, and is inspired to take his family to Israel to see the places where Jesus lived and died. While on vacation his mother-in-law dies. An undertaker in Tel Aviv explains that they can ship the body home to Wisconsin at a cost of $10,000 or the mother-in-law could be buried in Israel for $500. The man says, "We'll ship her home." The undertaker asks,"Are you sure? That's an awfully big expense and we can do a very nice burial here." The man says, "Look, 2000 years ago they buried a guy here and three days later he rose from the dead. I just can't take that chance."  |  IP: Logged Bob Maar (Maar stands for Maartini) Posts: 28608 From: New York City & Newport, RI Registered: Feb 2001 posted 11-04-2004 02:54 PM                        Rated G Maggie Sixty million people go to the movies every week and almost all of them file past our seats at the most exciting part of the picture.  |  IP: Logged Bob Maar (Maar stands for Maartini) Posts: 28608 From: New York City & Newport, RI Registered: Feb 2001 posted 11-23-2004 08:41 AM                        Rated G Michele As the horror movie was about to reach its terrifying conclusion,the co-ed began fidgeting in her seat. The man sitting behind her leaned forward and inquired, "Excuse me. Are you feeling hysterical?" "No," she whispered. "He's feeling mine."  |  IP: Logged Paul Konen Jedi Master Film Handler Posts: 981 From: Frisco, TX. (North of Dallas) Registered: Jun 99 posted 12-01-2004 11:49 AM                     From eBaumsWorld.Com Rated G: A man lay sprawled across three entire seats in the posh theatre. When the usher came by and noticed this, he whispered to the man, "Sorry, sir, but you're only allowed one seat." The man groaned but didn't budge. The usher became impatient. "Sir, if you don't get up from there I'm going to have to call the manager." Again, the man just groaned, which infuriated the usher who turned and marched briskly back up the aisle in search of his manager. In a few moments, both the usher and the manager returned and stood over the man. Together the two of them tried repeatedly to move him, but with no success. Finally, they summoned the police. The cop surveyed the situation briefly then asked, "All right buddy, what's your name?" "Sam," the man moaned. "Where ya from, Sam?" With pain in his voice Sam replied "The balcony."  |  IP: Logged Bob Maar (Maar stands for Maartini) Posts: 28608 From: New York City & Newport, RI Registered: Feb 2001 posted 02-15-2005 01:33 PM                        Rated G Dennis Did you hear about the new movie "Constipation?" It hasn't come out yet.  |  IP: Logged System Notices Forum Watchdog / Soup Nazi Posts: 215 Registered: Apr 2004 posted 03-13-2008 02:55 PM                 It has been 1122 days since the last post.  |  IP: Logged Bob Maar (Maar stands for Maartini) Posts: 28608 From: New York City & Newport, RI Registered: Feb 2001 posted 03-13-2008 02:55 PM                        Rated G Diana Scientists now say that people should not use their cellphones outdoors during thunderstorms because of the risk of being struck by lightning. You should also avoid using them in movie theatres because of the risk of being strangled.  |  IP: Logged Bob Maar (Maar stands for Maartini) Posts: 28608 From: New York City & Newport, RI Registered: Feb 2001 posted 04-12-2008 08:32 AM                        Rated G cutie pa2ti Did you hear about the people who went to the drive-in movie and hated it so much that they got rowdy and ripped up the seats?  |  IP: Logged

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