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Author Topic: Movie Theatres Bob Maar (Maar stands for Maartini) Posts: 28608 From: New York City & Newport, RI Registered: Feb 2001 posted 12-19-2005 07:34 AM                        Rated G "King Kong" opens tonight. This "King Kong" craze is big. He's so popular that next he may run for Governor of California." --Dave Letterman  |  IP: Logged Bob Maar (Maar stands for Maartini) Posts: 28608 From: New York City & Newport, RI Registered: Feb 2001 posted 12-29-2005 04:02 PM                        Rated G B.B. IF HOLLYWOOD BLOCKBUSTERS WERE SHOT ON CELL PHONES... Gone With the Breeze Lord of the Ringtones E.T. & T. Calling Nemo One or Two Trees Gump Bruce Okay My Small Thin Greek Wedding War of the Words  |  IP: Logged Bob Maar (Maar stands for Maartini) Posts: 28608 From: New York City & Newport, RI Registered: Feb 2001 posted 01-06-2006 12:57 PM                        Rated G B.B. Did you hear about the couple that froze to death at the drive-in- movie? They went to see: "Closed for the Winter."  |  IP: Logged Bob Maar (Maar stands for Maartini) Posts: 28608 From: New York City & Newport, RI Registered: Feb 2001 posted 03-23-2006 03:35 PM                        Rated G "I saw Spiderman last night, awesome movie. But I kept thinking how lucky Peter Parker was to have those web shooters form in his forearm instead of his butt like every other spider on the planet." B.G.  |  IP: Logged Bob Maar (Maar stands for Maartini) Posts: 28608 From: New York City & Newport, RI Registered: Feb 2001 posted 03-28-2006 08:16 AM                        Rated G Hot Mama We went to the movie the other night. I sat in an aisle seat as I usually do because it feels a little roomier. Just as the feature was about to start a baby boomer from the center of the row got up and started working her way out. "Excuse me, sorry, oops, excuse me, pardon me, gotta hurry, oops, excuse me." By the time she got to me I was trying to look around her and I was a little impatient so I said, "Couldn't you have done this a little earlier?" "No!!" she said in a loud whisper, "The TURN OFF YOUR CELL PHONE PLEASE message just flashed up on the screen and mine is out in the car."  |  IP: Logged Bob Maar (Maar stands for Maartini) Posts: 28608 From: New York City & Newport, RI Registered: Feb 2001 posted 04-06-2006 12:52 PM                        Rated G Gerry A famous coach on vacation went to a movie in a small town. As he entered, the few people there began clapping. "Wow," thought the coach, "I am even recognized here!" A man turned to him and said, "Thanks for coming. The movie won't start until there are ten customers."  |  IP: Logged System Notices Forum Watchdog / Soup Nazi Posts: 215 Registered: Apr 2004 posted 05-14-2007 08:13 AM                 It has been 402 days since the last post.  |  IP: Logged Bob Maar (Maar stands for Maartini) Posts: 28608 From: New York City & Newport, RI Registered: Feb 2001 posted 05-14-2007 08:13 AM                        Rated G Lorraine I was a hostess at our local cinema, and part of my job was to get people to line up as close to one another as possible. Whenever necessary I would yell, "Could everyone please move three feet forward!" But one day, inevitably, one fellow called back, "What if you only have two?"  |  IP: Logged Bob Maar (Maar stands for Maartini) Posts: 28608 From: New York City & Newport, RI Registered: Feb 2001 posted 05-16-2007 07:58 AM                        Rated G Narcy Paris Hilton She makes up for her awful acting and awful singing with her awful behavior, awful judgement, awful face, awful body, and awful personality. At least Mr. Brittney Spears, ...er..., Kevin Federline hasn't been in a movie that I'm aware of, yet.  |  IP: Logged Bob Maar (Maar stands for Maartini) Posts: 28608 From: New York City & Newport, RI Registered: Feb 2001 posted 10-25-2007 09:45 AM                        Rated G For the first time in many years, a an old man traveled from his rural town to the city to attend a movie. After buying his ticket, he stopped at the concession stand to purchase some popcorn. Handing the attendant $2.00, he couldn't help but comment, "The last time I came to the movies, popcorn was only 10 cents." "Well, sir," the attendant replied with a grin, "You're really going to enjoy yourself. We have sound now."  |  IP: Logged Bob Maar (Maar stands for Maartini) Posts: 28608 From: New York City & Newport, RI Registered: Feb 2001 posted 01-15-2008 02:40 PM                        Rated G Lorraine Legendary film (and blooper) producer Samuel Goldwyn once asked a newly signed actor from which part of the country he hailed. "Idaho," the man replied. "Out here, young man," Goldwyn declared, "we pronounce it 'Ohio'."  |  IP: Logged Bob Maar (Maar stands for Maartini) Posts: 28608 From: New York City & Newport, RI Registered: Feb 2001 posted 10-12-2008 10:43 AM                        Rated G Jokester At the Movies While watching a movie recently, I couldn't hear the dialogue over the chatter of the two women sitting in front of me. Unable to bear it any longer, I tapped one of them on the shoulder. "Excuse me," I said, "I can't hear." "I should hope not," she replied sharply. "This is a private conversation." Movie Night My brother and his wife were going out to see a movie. This was going to be their first "date" in nearly a year, and they were leaving their 10-month-old son with me. I didn't have a whole lot of experience with kids, so I was a little nervous. "What do I do if he starts crying?" I asked my sister-in-law. "It probably means he's just hungry," she replied. "Try feeding him some vegetables, and that should do the trick." She handed me the child and headed out the door with my brother. Right on cue, my little nephew started bawling almost as soon as their car left the driveway. So I figured I'd take her advice and give the vegetables a shot. As it turns out, jalapeno is not his favorite. Things I Learned from Indiana Jones If you throw a whip over any type of overhang, it will stick on the first shot and hold your body weight. Nazis are bad. Germans are really up on their biblical history. Egyptians are surprisingly good sidekicks... and a lot more helpful than little Asian kids. Always have a monkey around to eat the fruit before you do. Revolvers always beat swords. Airplane propellers beat revolvers. A solid gold statue weighs as much as two handfuls of sand. If you are at a party and someone says "Hey, let's open up the Ark of the Covenant," get the hell out of there. Never leave your hat behind. Never Ever.  |  IP: Logged System Notices Forum Watchdog / Soup Nazi Posts: 215 Registered: Apr 2004 posted 03-05-2016 01:48 PM                 It has been 2701 days since the last post.  |  IP: Logged Gordon Bachlund Jedi Master Film Handler Posts: 696 From: Monrovia, CA, USA Registered: Aug 1999 posted 03-05-2016 01:48 PM                        Rated G... An old man lay sprawled across three entire seats in a large theatre. When the usher came by and noticed this, he whispered to the old man, "Sorry sir, but you're only allowed one seat." The old man didn't budge. The usher became more impatient. "Sir, if you don't get up from there I'm going to have to call the manager." Once again, the old man just muttered and did nothing. The usher marched briskly back up the aisle, and in a moment he returned with the manager. Together the two of them tried repeatedly to move the old disheveled man, but with no success. Finally they summoned the police. The officer surveyed the situation briefly then asked, "All right buddy, what's your name?" "Fred," the old man moaned. "Where are you from, Fred?" asked the police officer. With a terrible strain in his voice, and without moving, Fred replied, "The balcony."  |  IP: Logged System Notices Forum Watchdog / Soup Nazi Posts: 215 Registered: Apr 2004 posted 07-18-2019 02:37 PM                 It has been 1230 days since the last post.  |  IP: Logged

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