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Topic: Do you look before you flush?

Paul Mayer
Oh get out of it Melvin, before it pulls you under!

Posts: 3836
From: Albuquerque, NM
Registered: Feb 2000

posted 02-08-2006 02:59 PM

quote: Joe Redifer
When you take a giant dump, do you look in the toilet to see the result before you flush?

Of course. I am quite proud of my work. And visual inspection can tell you lots of things about your health.

quote: Joe Redifer
Do you wipe your ass sitting down or standing up?

Sitting.

quote: Joe Redifer
Do you try to conserve paper or do you grab a huge wad?

Tends to be a lot, but folded neatly then lightly crumpled to increase skid pad numbers and effectiveness. It's not a wad.

quote: Joe Redifer
Do you keep wiping until nothing comes off on the toilet paper anymore, or do you just give it a quick wipe or two and hope it is clean?

In the end things must be clean.

quote: Joe Redifer
If you are a man and you are taking a dump, do you take the opportunity to pee sitting down like a woman, or do you insist on peeing while standing up because you are too manly to sit?

It is most efficient to do both simultaneously whenever possible.

quote: Joe Redifer
Do you prefer American or Japanese automobiles?

Japanese or German or Swedish all the way baby.

quote: Joe Redifer
Do you flush the toilet after you pee, or do you wait until you drop some logs so you can say you are saving the planet by conserving water?

Again for efficiency one flush per #1+#2 combo session to hold the water bill down. Also flush at the end of any #1-only session since I don't like to leave pee standing in the bowl (or sink or shower). The dog doesn't appreciate it either. The ongoing drought here is becoming a real concern.

quote: Joe Redifer
If the latter, do you like it when pee splashes on your ass when you drop a load?

I don't mind it. But I am healthy. My shit floats. My shit don't splash.

quote: Joe Redifer
Do you take a whiff to smell the result or do you try to hold your breath until you can escape?

My shit don't stink. But smell can tell you lots of things about your health.

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Bobby Henderson
"Ask me about Trajan."

Posts: 10973
From: Lawton, OK, USA
Registered: Apr 2001

posted 02-08-2006 03:39 PM

-Do you wipe your ass sitting down or standing up?
Answer: Almost sitting. Call it a partial squat. At least I'm not standing on my head!

-Do you try to conserve paper or do you grab a huge wad?
Answer: I grab smallish wads. And more of them.

-Do you keep wiping until nothing comes off on the toilet paper anymore, or do you just give it a quick wipe or two and hope it is clean?
Answer: Shitting at home, if the paper isn't clean after the third or fourth wipe, I'm hitting the shower. Fuck it, at some point you just have to punt and bathe. Shitting in public restrooms, I'll use the whole damned roll if necessary! I will not streak up my Joe Boxers!!!

-If you are a man and you are taking a dump, do you take the opportunity to pee sitting down like a woman, or do you insist on peeing while standing up because you are too manly to sit?
Answer: Sitting. Usually I can't piss until after the first log drops anyway. Why would I want to stand at that point? If the first log was messy, I might wind up dropping some left over debris down in my Joe Boxers! Again, I will not streak up my Joe Boxers!!!

-Do you prefer American or Japanese automobiles?
Answers:
Passenger Cars: Japanese
Pickup Trucks: American
Toilets: Western Style.
Has anyone else in this forum ever tried to use a traditional Japanese restroom? Normally you will have had to visit the far east (and done so in previous decades) to experience this. There a few experiences quite like trying to squat over a porcelain sink in the floor and manage to take a dump. Shitting over a urinal might be slightly similar, but probably even more difficult. I don't know if Japanese plumbers are still installing sink in the floor type toilets. But they definitely suck ass.

-Do you flush the toilet after you pee, or do you wait until you drop some logs so you can say you are saving the planet by conserving water? If the latter, do you like it when pee splashes on your ass when you drop a load?
Answer: I may flush after getting rid of the initial cargo and then flush again once finished. As far as pee-water splashing my ass goes, it makes little difference. I may be taking a shower to get truly clean anyway.

-Do you take a whiff to smell the result or do you try to hold your breath until you can escape?
Answer: In general I'm not grossed out by the smell of my own turds. But once in awhile I'll be surprised and have to flush, muttering, "Holy shit! What the hell did I eat?" And then I really wind up having to take a shower. Joe Boxer streak prevention is a high priority. Smell prevention, even higher priority.

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Mike Blakesley
Film God

Posts: 12767
From: Forsyth, Montana
Registered: Jun 99

posted 02-08-2006 03:49 PM

All posters in this thread should listen to some George Carlin CDs. He has made quite a study of shits, farts, turds and dumps.

"Did you ever notice, that your own farts....smell OK! 'Say, that's fairly decent!'"

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Paul Mayer
Oh get out of it Melvin, before it pulls you under!

Posts: 3836
From: Albuquerque, NM
Registered: Feb 2000

posted 02-08-2006 04:42 PM

Yes, Japanese plumbers still install the asian style squat toilets. If it's an area where westerners are expected to be, you will see a mix of sit-down and squat styles. But if it's a "backstage" area where westerners aren't expected, you will mostly or exclusively see the squat style.

Many say that the squat style is the preferred method since you don't come into physical contact with anything while laying the load and the squatting position supposedly improves elimination. But it is acknowledged that large people may not be able to squat. Rikishi (sumo wrestlers) have issues with this. Most Japanese people think the idea of a public sit-down toilet is gross, though that attitude may be changing with younger people.

In 1995 I escorted a small group of Civil Air Patrol cadets on an aviation exchange trip to Japan as part of the annual IACE (International Air Cadet Exchange) program. On one of our first days there we visited the Sea Paradise marine park in Hakkeijima (near the US Navy base at Yokosuka). During the day a need to visit the loo became apparent. So I'm standing outside with our Japanese hosts waiting for the group to take care of business when we hear a chorus of giggles and laughs coming from the women's side of the otearai (honorable hand washing place) including the exclamation, "It's just a hole!" Couldn't help but laugh as I had forgotten to brief the cadets on this particular aspect of asian and Japanese culture.

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Monte L Fullmer
Film God

Posts: 8367
From: Nampa, Idaho, USA
Registered: Nov 2004

posted 02-08-2006 04:50 PM

quote: Mike Blakesley
All posters in this thread should listen to some George Carlin CDs.

That man is massive insane, but in the same as funny as all get out.

"Wonderful WINO", and the "Hippy Dippy Weatherman..!!"

..like he says, "shit is shoot with two "o's"

LOL - Monte

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John Eickhof
Jedi Master Film Handler

Posts: 588
From: Wendell, ID USA
Registered: Jan 2000

posted 02-08-2006 05:12 PM

I figure its worth a look just to see what the Ed Nortons (sewer workers ) will be fishing for..will it be minnows? or a sea snake? or a whale??? Gotta have some fun somehow!!! And yes Joe, I think you may have a couple bricks missing out of the stack!! And if you ever noticed the turds are always tapered at the end..thats so your a$$hole won't slam shut!! (another Carlin line!)

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Jeremy Fuentes
Mmmm, Dr. Pepper!

Posts: 1168
From: Corpus Christi, TX United States
Registered: Jan 2004

posted 02-08-2006 05:13 PM

quote: Joe Redifer
So, when you take a giant dump, do you look in the toilet to see the result before you flush?

This reminded me of the time I had to go while I was threading up and about to start movies. I dont know what I ate, but it couldnt wait any longer. No movie start time was holding this back. I started everything except theater 3, which started 10 minutes later. I figure I had enough time. I was wrong. Before I hurried out to start the show, I was about to flush, and I looked at my results. It was in the shape of a 3. I shit you not my friends.

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James R. Hammonds, Jr
Jedi Master Film Handler

Posts: 931
From: Houston, TX, USA
Registered: Nov 2000

posted 02-08-2006 05:22 PM

Haha, I shit you not!

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Hillary Charles
Jedi Master Film Handler

Posts: 748
From: York, PA, USA
Registered: Feb 2001

posted 02-08-2006 06:08 PM

Looking is not only good for health reasons as mentioned, but I do get a sense of accomplishment as well.

-Do you flush the toilet after you pee, or do you wait until you drop some logs so you can say you are saving the planet by conserving water? If the latter, do you like it when pee splashes on your ass when you drop a load?

"If it's yellow, let it mellow. If it's brown, flush it down."

Words I live by. [Roll Eyes]

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Bob Maar
(Maar stands for Maartini)

Posts: 28608
From: New York City & Newport, RI
Registered: Feb 2001

posted 02-08-2006 07:30 PM

Where have I heard "Mello Yellow" before,,,sounds like a drink!

[Eek!]

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Monte L Fullmer
Film God

Posts: 8367
From: Nampa, Idaho, USA
Registered: Nov 2004

posted 02-08-2006 07:56 PM

the Ed Nortons works at the "brown trout" farm....lol

quote:
Haha, I shit you not!

...take "Ex-Lax" then [Big Grin]

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Hillary Charles
Jedi Master Film Handler

Posts: 748
From: York, PA, USA
Registered: Feb 2001

posted 02-09-2006 06:41 AM

quote:
Where have I heard "Mello Yellow" before,,,sounds like a drink!

Yeah, and if you drink too much of that, your pee is the same color as anti-freeze. [Razz]

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Mark Gulbrandsen
Resident Trollmaster

Posts: 16657
From: Music City
Registered: Jun 99

posted 02-09-2006 08:24 AM

Well, one things for sure... all who look afterwards know weather their shit stinks or not.....

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Richard Hamilton
Phenomenal Film Handler

Posts: 1341
From: Evansville, Indiana
Registered: Jan 2000

posted 02-09-2006 10:01 AM

quote: Mark Gulbrandsen
Well, one things for sure... all who look afterwards know weather their shit stinks or not

depends on if its a floater!!!!

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Bobby Henderson
"Ask me about Trajan."

Posts: 10973
From: Lawton, OK, USA
Registered: Apr 2001

posted 02-09-2006 12:36 PM

...or if the turd broke in half as it hung its way to bowl.

That's also the key about removing dog shit from your lawn. Pray that it is hard and that it doesn't break open when you pick it up to bag it.

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