my profile | my password | search | faq & rules | forum home

» Film-Tech Forum ARCHIVE   » Community   » Film-Yak   » Do you look before you flush? (Page 3)

This topic comprises 4 pages: 1  2  3  4

Author Topic: Do you look before you flush? Rachel Craven Madam Moderator Posts: 2190 From: Pensacola, FL Registered: Dec 2000 posted 02-09-2006 12:40 PM                     Eww.  |  IP: Logged Paul Mayer Oh get out of it Melvin, before it pulls you under! Posts: 3836 From: Albuquerque, NM Registered: Feb 2000 posted 02-09-2006 01:07 PM                        What, you don't use yard bottles? Put a big glass jar of water in the yard and you won't have to deal with strange poop showing up. Or maybe that's a Hawaii thing.  |  IP: Logged Mike Blakesley Film God Posts: 12767 From: Forsyth, Montana Registered: Jun 99 posted 02-09-2006 01:20 PM                        This is without a doubt the shittiest thread ever on Film-Tech. Thanks, Joe!  |  IP: Logged Fred Georges Master Film Handler Posts: 257 From: Lombard, IL, USA Registered: Jun 2000 posted 02-09-2006 02:26 PM                     LOOK! ..Of course!..If I didn't I would have missed such Artistic Scatological Mess-terpieces such as the "Coiled Cobra", The Classic "Ring Baloney" & the always painful "Baby Seqouia". Last Thanksgiving I passed a remarkable replica of the "Washington Monument" & a Friend reports the He passed a striking model of the "St,Louis Arch". My personal favorite though is the eagerly anticipated "Holiday Yule Log" that shows up after my expresso grande on Christmas Day!  |  IP: Logged Bob Maar (Maar stands for Maartini) Posts: 28608 From: New York City & Newport, RI Registered: Feb 2001 posted 02-09-2006 02:32 PM                        I don't think it's shitie...it just plain stinks! to wash it down. Ut Oh!  |  IP: Logged James R. Hammonds, Jr Jedi Master Film Handler Posts: 931 From: Houston, TX, USA Registered: Nov 2000 posted 02-09-2006 05:20 PM                     I have anouther question. When using a urinal, do you wait until you are completely done before you flush, or do you jump the gun thinking that you will be done by the time the flush is complete? I sometimes jump the gun and have to flush a second time.  |  IP: Logged Jon Miller Jedi Master Film Handler Posts: 973 From: San Diego, CA, USA Registered: Sep 1999 posted 02-09-2006 07:32 PM                     Of course, you could be using a urinal with an automatic flush valve, which have a tendency to "jump the gun" if you are wearing a black shirt or black pants. (Sheesh...what's next, a thread on slicing Brie, making spiders bark, and stepping on ducks? )  |  IP: Logged Phil Blake Jedi Master Film Handler Posts: 558 From: esperance western australia Registered: Nov 2003 posted 02-10-2006 12:26 AM                        I think this is on topic , THE POO LIST............ GHOST POO : You know you've pooed. There is poo on the toilet paper but none in the toilet. TEFLON COATED POO : Comes out so slick, clean and easy that you don't even feel it. No trace of poo on the toilet paper, you have to look in the toilet to be sure you did it. GOOEY POO : This has the consistency of hot tar. You wipe 12 time and you still don't come clean. You end up putting toilet paper in your underpants so you don't stain them. This poo leaves permanent skid marks in the toilet. SECOND THOUGHT POO : You're all done wiping and about to stand up when you realise it, you've got some more. POP A VEIN VEIN IN YOUR FOREHEAD POO : This is the kind of poo that killed Elvis. It doesn't want to come out until you're all sweaty, trembling, and purple from straing so hard. WEIGHT WATCHERS POO : You poo so much that you loose several kilograms. RIGHT NOW POO : You better be within 30 seconds of a toilet. You burn rubber getting there. Usually, it has its head out before tou get your pants down. KING KONG POO : This one is so big that you know it won't go down the tiolet unless you break it into smaller chunks. A wire coat hanger works well. This kind of poo usually happens at someone elses house. CORK POO : ( Also known as a floater.) Even after the third flush, it's still floating in the bowel. My god. How do I get rid of it ?? WET CHEEKS POO : This poo hits the water sideways and makes a big splash that gets you all wet. WISH POO : You sit there all cramped up for a few minutes, but no poo. CEMENT BLOCK POO : You wish that you'd gotten a spinal block before you pooed. SNAKE POO : This poo is fairly soft, about as thick as your thumb, and at least three feet long. MEXICAN FOOD POO : ( Also called the screamer.) You know it's okay to eat again when your bum stops burning. BEER DRUNK AND MEAT PIE POO : This happens the day after the night before. Normally your poos don't smell too bad, but this one is BAD !!. Usually this happens at someone elses house and there is someone standing outside the door waiting to use the bathroom.  |  IP: Logged Allison Parsons Jedi Master Film Handler Posts: 630 From: East Peoria, IL Registered: Oct 2004 posted 02-10-2006 02:09 AM                        For you men: How many of you are either disturbed or disgusted about us womens' "monthly cycle". I know a few grown men who can talk about their bodly functions to no end, but when it comes to the monthly river of blood, they get squmish and don't want to talk about it.  |  IP: Logged Phil Blake Jedi Master Film Handler Posts: 558 From: esperance western australia Registered: Nov 2003 posted 02-10-2006 03:25 AM                        well here's something about the "monthly Cycle" that I just recently discovered on a scientific web site , when a group of women live in the same house they automatically syncronize their "monthly Cycle" .  |  IP: Logged Monte L Fullmer Film God Posts: 8367 From: Nampa, Idaho, USA Registered: Nov 2004 posted 02-10-2006 03:51 AM                     Okey, since a "flush" topic arrived to us by "yu know who", there is a serious side tone to this - and it pertains to some of us that are the area of slightly advanced years: Colon Cancer and colerectal problems. Over 50yrs old, or have bleeding problems at any age: get a colonoscopy - both genders needs to get this done. Sound yukky and painful (which it isn't), but it's a lifesaver for sure - if you plan on watching your kids have grandkids for you so you can play with the grandkids and spoil the crap out of them..(LOL). Bleeding during emissions and afterwards: head to the doctor promptly. Could just be a bad case of internal hemorrhoids, but let the doctor tell you that. But, a tumor upside the large intestine could be growing and has a good chance of being malignant - which a friend of mine died at the age of 35 with colon cancer due to neglecting such bleeding - he thought he had a lingering case of bleeding hemorrhoids. So, going back to the topic header: "Do you look.." you should, just to see how you're doing inside - from both sides of the "waste" factory. I had some bloody stools last year. Went to the doctor and he immediately did a colonscopy on me and found a good sized polyp halfway up inside the large intestine that was bleeding, but thankful it wasn't cancerous. During the colonscopy, they cut the polyp out and checked for more polyps, in which there were none. After the exam and the prognosis from the doctor, I was given the yellow light for a 5 yr checkup afterwards since I had cancer before. 10 year checkups are for people that have been given a green light from the doctor, if the patient has no cancer history. Little help from a "film handler" thx-Monte  |  IP: Logged Frank Angel Film God Posts: 5305 From: Brooklyn NY USA Registered: Dec 1999 posted 02-10-2006 04:17 AM                        Phil, EXCELLENT list....who would have guessed there was such variety, but, damn, it's true. And hey, if you want to be assured of those most coveted Teflon Poos EVERY time, just make sure you mix a rounded tablespoon of psyillium seed husks in a glass of juice once a day (Metamuscil is 98% psyllium with a little extra flavor added) and you will never suffer from the dreaded Gooey Hot Tar Poo. And don't be misled by the misconception that psyllium is a laxative. Far from it. It just keeps you naturally regular and as I said, gives you most excellent, comfortable, clean and efficient Teflon Poos. It basically is a broom for the colon. My dad once told me that, when you are visiting, and you absolutely MUST use the bathroom for a dump (try not to if at all possible), you don't want to stink up your host's entire house (and believe me, my dad could fumigate a two story, four bedroom with finished basement so that no place was safe), it's just a common courtesy to everyone in the place to flush immediately after each log is delivered to the bowl. When you have delivered all that there is to deliver, for extra protection, light a few matches -- they will counteract the odiferous result of your deposits. I also found that grabbing a towel and spinning it around like a fan will dissipate and dilute the odor. You want to do this just on the off-chance that some poor soul is in need of using the facility immediately after you....like your girlfriend. Nothing will give a girl second thoughts faster about her suitor than the knowledge that you lay humungous stink bombs at family functions. Neglect the above precautions and you can bet you won't get laid THAT night. Also, should you be unfortunate enough to unload a Gooey Hot Tar Poo, and what you've left in the bowl looks like Mack truck skid marks all over the once-emaculately clean porcelain, bite the bullet, be a man...wad up a goodly size pad of toilet paper and reach in there, grit your teeth and clean off the evidence. Now WASH your hands. And wash them again. Three time's the charm. And then PRAY the wad of paper will actually flush down and not back up the plumbing causing your award-winning size load to upchuck out the toilet bowl on the first floor where your girlfriend's mother happens at that moment fixing her makeup (yah, it happened to me). And James R., about flushing before you're completely done. Believe it or not young man, there will come a time, although at your tender age you might not believe it, when that powerful, manly stream from your johnson of which you are so rightly proud, gets weaker and weaker and it begins to take longer and longer to empty the bladder. It gets embarrassing. Well, I am still not quite comfortable admitting that they have started sending me AARP solicitations (the bastards). You can imagine how VERY uncomfortable when I have to stand at that urinal while the younger occupants of the urinals next to me have changed two and three times, while I still stand, waiting, looking up at the ceiling, whistling. Definitely embarrassing. So now I've discovered this little trick....I'll flush even though I am not quite done, holding the flushometer handle so as to lengthen the flush cycle which gives me just a little more time. Yah, silly you say....but wait till YOU turn 50 and all of a sudden you realize, holy shit, that's not a 5, that's a goddamn 6! Pretty soon you're asking yourself, should I take a newspaper to the effing urinal so I can read something while I am waiting to finish taking a wizz? Allison, what do you mean we men can talk about our bodily functions to no end? Wait till this thread gets a flame icon before you go prejudging us! As for your question.....you have to admit, men may be a tad less comfortable talking about women's stuff because it just doesn't happen to us, so it is "foreign" so to speak. Talking about poo is universal....it's not gender specific; everyone can relate. Personally, I turn white and have, on more than one occasion, gone faint at the sight of blood from a cut on someone's finger. It's not a matter of being uncomfortable talking about where it might be gushing from on a woman's body, it's just that it is BLOOD that makes me want to change the subject. Then again, I see your point -- some societies, especially the older, misogynistic cultures were locked into that barbaric idea that women were "unclean" during menstruation. But then again, men were not immune to that sort of twisted insanity....remember, the men are the ones who also came to the conclusion that to be "clean" they had to chop the tips of their dicks off. That's like coming to the conclusion that the way to prevent a kid from getting plaque ("unclean") teeth is to pull them all out. HEY....DUMBASS. How bout you just teach the kid how to brush is teeth and wash his peter. Idiots!  |  IP: Logged Bobby Henderson "Ask me about Trajan." Posts: 10973 From: Lawton, OK, USA Registered: Apr 2001 posted 02-10-2006 07:48 PM                     quote: Allison Parsons How many of you are either disturbed or disgusted about us womens' "monthly cycle". It depends on the circumstance. I'm going to be grossed out when encountering an unflushed toilet regardless of its contents, be it pee, a floating load of crap, or even a bowl of blood with a tampon in it. All are pretty awful. Sex is another matter. I had one odd encounter years ago with a former girlfriend. We were having a little morning fun under the covers. When we finished we realized the wet spot on the covers was a little more wet than normal. I didn't freak out about it. At least I wasn't doing the oral thing on her when it happened!  |  IP: Logged Randy Stankey Film God Posts: 6539 From: Erie, Pennsylvania Registered: Jun 99 posted 02-10-2006 09:56 PM                     quote: At least I wasn't doing the oral thing on her when it happened! [Razz] A little soap and warm water will cure that problem. Use a wash cloth and warm water before the festivities begin or, better yet, take a shower together.  |  IP: Logged Jennifer Pan THE JEN! Posts: 1219 From: Denver, Colorado Registered: Nov 2003 posted 02-11-2006 01:16 AM                        This video might be good for this thread. It was shot a couple of months ago with my friends and I. I have a small cameo in it . T.P. wmv  |  IP: Logged

All times are Central (GMT -6:00)

This topic comprises 4 pages: 1  2  3  4

Printer-friendly view of this topic

Hop To: Select a Forum: Category: Operations -------------------- Digital Cinema Forum Film Handlers' Forum Large Format Forum Ground Level Feature Info, Trailer Attachments & REAL Credit Offsets Category: Community -------------------- Film-Yak Film Handlers' Movie Reviews The Afterlife Bob Maar's Joke-A-Thon Category: Classified -------------------- Equipment and Supplies Wanted/For Sale Help Wanted/Seeking Employment Category: System -------------------- Software Beta Testing Forum

The Film-Tech Forums are designed for various members related to the cinema industry to express their opinions, viewpoints and testimonials on various products, services and events based upon speculation, personal knowledge and factual information through use, therefore all views represented here allow no liability upon the publishers of this web site and the owners of said views assume no liability for any ill will resulting from these postings. The posts made here are for educational as well as entertainment purposes and as such anyone viewing this portion of the website must accept these views as statements of the author of that opinion and agrees to release the authors from any and all liability.