posted 08-11-2015 09:50 PM                       

quote: Daily Mail (where else?!)

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Man is buggered with a microphone

A Chinese man recently found himself having a 10-inch long cylindrical object stuck in his rectum and had to go through a two-hour operation to have it removed.

Doctors in a hospital in Guangzhou, southern China, were surprised to see a microphone-shaped item lodged in the man's colon after an X-ray, reported People's Daily Online.

The patient refused to explain how the object had got there, but media reports suggest the man had been involved in a fight at a karaoke bar when the object was inserted into his body.

The middle-aged man, named only by his surname Cai, had no visible injuries when he arrived at the First Affiliated Hospital of Guangzhou University of Chinese Medicine on August 8.

However, he had a strange and pained expression on his face and pointed at his rear to the staff.

Surgeons initially tried to extract the object from the man's anus but found that it was lodged in too deeply so they had to operate on him.

After two hours operation, where they opened Mr Cai up from his abdomen, they were able to remove the object.

It is thought the cylindrical object had already been inside the man for 27 hours before he sought medical help.

Media reports indicate the man had been involved in an altercation at a karaoke when the mystery object was inserted into his body.

Although the doctors did not disclose what exactly the object was, they revealed that it measured approximate 10 inches in length and 1.5 inches in diameter and was made of plastic.

The man is now recuperating in the hospital and has refused interviews by the media.

Dr Sun, who treated the man, said that he had previously treated a man in a similar disposition.

A chef had come into the hospital with a lodged cucumber, which had split his colon.

The doctor advised that 'foreign objects in rectum shouldn't be treated lightly. In certain circumstances it could even lead to death.'

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posted 09-12-2015 09:29 PM                       

quote: Huffington Post

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Man urinates on passengers during JetBlue flight - somebody was definitely pissed!

PORTLAND, Ore. (AP) — An Oregon man is facing charges after authorities say he urinated on passengers on a flight from Anchorage to Portland, Oregon.

KOIN-TV reports (http://bit.ly/1ijPHEQ ) 27-year-old Jeff Rubin was arrested early Friday after JetBlue Flight 47 arrived at Portland International Airport.

A police report says passengers and airline employees told officers Rubin had been sleeping for most of the flight. About 30 minutes before landing, he stood up and began urinating through the crack between the seats in front of him — onto the passengers sitting there.

The report says he lost his balance and fell backward, spraying urine on passengers, seats and luggage.

Rubin spent about five hours in jail. He faces charges of criminal mischief and offensive littering.

Rubin did not immediately respond to a message seeking comment.

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posted 09-18-2015 01:30 PM                       

quote: Paul Mayer

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Let us then try to mask that excremental sound experience with this:

Cat Purr Noise Generator

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Someone really likes that website:



She was curled up and purring along to it until I got the camera out and pointed it at her, hence the startled expression.

posted 11-11-2015 05:12 PM                       

quote:

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Even those living in a galaxy far, far away know the release of the new Star Wars movie has fans counting the minutes until they can catch the seventh installment of the iconic series on the silver screen.

The Force Awakens is expected to shatter box office records when it hits theatres on Dec.18.

That day, 272 of Edmonton's most dedicated fans will usher in the new film with a movie marathon of epic proportions.

An audience at Cineplex Odeon South Edmonton will get primed for the new movie by watching every Star Wars Film released since 1977.

That's seven movies, totaling more than 17 hours in the theatre.
Star Wars Girls

Kristin Glass, Kris Padget, and Justine Kummer are the self-proclaimed nerds behind the My Fangirl blog. The trio will be hunkering down for 17 hours of Star Wars watching when the Force Awakens hits theatres.

And though it starts at 4:30 a.m., the special event was sold out within days. Officials with Cineplex say advance ticket sales are the highest in the company's history.

"It's huge. This is the biggest movie release in forever," said Kris Padget of Edmonton, who will be glued to a theatre seat for the marathon.

"A lot of people love Star Wars, and now there's going to be three generations that will have had their own trilogy come out," said Padget, who founded My Fan Girl Life, a "geek lifestyle blog" along with her friends Kristin Glass and Justine Kummer.

The trio plans to take naps during their least favourite Star Wars movies in order to keep their spirits up during the special showing.

And though some movie-goers are expected to get decked out in their best Darth Vader and Princess Leia outfits, these women will opt for comfort in sweatpants and spandex leggings.

"Seventeen hours is a long time to be in costume," Glass said during a Tuesday morning interview with Edmonton AM radio host Mark Connolly.

If you missed out on tickets, don't despair.

Tune in to Edmonton AM on Tuesday, Dec. 17, when CBC Edmonton's resident Star Wars geek Laura Osman will provide live coverage of the movie marathon.

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posted 11-15-2015 08:24 PM                       

quote: mysanantonio.com

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800-pound alligator found at Houston-area shopping center

SUGAR LAND, Texas (AP) — An alligator dubbed Godzilla who tips the scales at more than 800 pounds is being taken to a gator reserve to live out its days, after being found wandering outside a Houston-area shopping center.

Godzilla was discovered Saturday by people arriving for work at the center in Sugar Land. It's believed he wandered over to the plaza from a nearby creek.

Christy Kroboth is licensed by the state as a "nuisance alligator trapper." She was called to help subdue Godzilla and cart him away.

She says once he was muzzled and restrained, a forklift was borrowed from Home Depot to load him onto a truck.

Kroboth says Godzilla is blind in one eye and has only partial sight in the other. He's going to the reserve for his safety.

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He looks rather pleased with himself, doesn't he?

posted 12-22-2015 12:38 PM                       

quote:

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t's a narrative that reads like a particularly violent Quentin Tarantino movie script.

Which is fitting, because much of the drama takes place in a movie theatre basement.

An agreed statement of facts presented in North Battleford, Sask., provincial court earlier this month details what happened the night of June 4.

It began with a $100 drug debt.
'3 guys in animal masks'

Around 1:30 a.m. CST, an RCMP officer came across a teen walking up 99th Street. He looked hurt.

When the officer questioned him, the teen said that, earlier the previous day, he had been walking from the Don Ross Community Centre to North Battleford.

"A vehicle pulled up and three guys in animal masks got out," said the statement of facts.

"They put a bag over his head and put him in the vehicle, taking him to a building where his hands and feet were bound."

The building was the Capitol Theatre.

The victim was taken into the theatre basement; one of the accused had access to the building.

The victim was tied up in a chair, and then beaten and tortured over the next three hours.

The men in animal masks stuffed a sock in his mouth and beat his legs with a hammer and wrench, tried to choke him out with a telephone wire, and worked on his hands and fingers with pliers.

They also tried to force him to eat glass.

Then, around 11:30 p.m., they contacted the theatre manager — known as Queen B — and asked her to come and bring her car to the back of the theatre.
'Smoothies and a triple-triple'

They then blindfolded the victim, bundled him into the trunk of the car and headed into the country.

But not before one stop.

"On the way, they went through the Battleford Tim Horton's drive-thru and [the victim] could hear them ordering smoothies and a triple triple," said the statement of facts.

"He could also hear them talking about whether to drop him off at the hospital or dump him in a field."

They chose the field.

They pulled over in a rural area six kilometres out of town. Two of the men got out and dug a hole. They then took the blindfolded teen, dumped him in the hole, beat him with the shovel, tossed some dirt on him and then left.

But not before taking the sock out of his mouth, because they didn't want to leave any DNA evidence.
Guilty pleas and sentencing

The victim crawled out his hole, made it to a house and then caught a ride to a relative's home. He planned to contact his cousins, instead of police, to settle the score, but the RCMP officer who spotted him sent the matter to the courts.

Officers pieced together what happened from video surveillance tapes at the theatre, Facebook messages and evidence in the car.

The surveillance video showed that, after leaving the man in the hole, they returned to the theatre and gathered "around the counter in the lobby, put their hands in the middle of the group and then raise them up, resembling a group cheer."

Nineteen-year-old Garth Iron pleaded guilty to kidnapping, possessing a weapon and uttering threats. He was sentenced to six years in prison.

Stephanie (Queen B) Sample, the 37-year-old theatre manager, pleaded guilty to kidnapping and was sentenced to four years in prison.

Four youths also pleaded guilty to charges related to the kidnapping and assault.

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posted 12-28-2015 01:00 PM                       

quote: The Daily Telegraph

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Man dies after blowing up condom machine

A man died on Christmas Day in Germany after he was hit in the head by a flying piece of metal from a condom machine that he and two accomplices blew up in an apparent robbery attempt, police said on Monday.

The 29-year-old man was taken to hospital in the western town of Schoeppingen, near the Dutch border, by the two other men who fled the scene of the explosion in a car, leaving behind condoms and money scattered around the gutted vending machine.

The two men told hospital officials that their friend had fallen down the stairs, injuring his head. Suspicious of their story, the officials called the police.

During questioning, police said, one of them admitted that the three had blown up the condom machine. Police said the three men apparently got into a car after triggering the explosion, but the 29-year-old did not close his door and was hit by debris when the machine exploded.

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Is if that wasn't bizarre and wacky enough, does anything strike you as odd about the scene of the crime?



Are the Germans really into the habit of buying condoms in the middle of rural nowhere, at what looks to me like the side of a farmer's field? I was under the innocent (OK, maybe not so innocent) impression that "sheepshagger" was a slur usually directed at the Welsh (by the English) and New Zealanders (by Australians), but maybe its scope could do to be widened...

posted 01-04-2016 02:35 PM                       

quote: Breitbart

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Hillary Clinton: I will communicate with space aliens if elected

Democratic presidential candidate Hillary Clinton says she will “get to the bottom” of UFOs and space aliens during her presidential term, because we may have already experienced the quiet visitation of extraterrestrial beings.

“Yes, I’m going to get to the bottom of it,” Clinton told the New Hampshire newspaper Conway Daily Sun in an interview. “I think we may have been (visited already). We don’t know for sure.”

Though her husband Bill Clinton told Jimmy Kimmel that he checked it out and found no evidence that alien spacecrafts were ever recovered by the U.S. federal government, Hillary Clinton remains, like Scully of “X-Files” fame, an open-minded skeptic.

Though UFOs spotted near Roswell, New Mexico in the 1940s were likely experimental aircraft being tested during the Cold War, some quasi-historians have put forth the view that Biblical angels were actually historic depictions of alien visitors.

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