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Author Topic: How our folks drive us insane Gordon McLeod Film God Posts: 9532 From: Toronto Ontario Canada Registered: Jun 99 posted 11-25-2006 06:01 PM                     All kidding aside living at home as a young adult is a privlege and not a right If you are paying rent or part of the costs of the household then the balance changes but if you are being supported by your parents then it is there rules of the house that apply I would have a sit down and talk with them  |  IP: Logged Will Kutler Phenomenal Film Handler Posts: 1506 From: Tucson, AZ, USA Registered: Feb 2001 posted 11-25-2006 08:48 PM                     AMEN GORD!  |  IP: Logged Jennifer Pan THE JEN! Posts: 1219 From: Denver, Colorado Registered: Nov 2003 posted 11-25-2006 10:23 PM                        Not in my house. Been there, done that... does not work. Paying for rent is not going to change the way they run the family.  |  IP: Logged Cameron Glendinning Jedi Master Film Handler Posts: 845 From: West Ryde, Sydney, NSW Australia Registered: Dec 2005 posted 11-25-2006 10:36 PM                     quote: Jennifer Pan they'll pay my way through a University or get me a Lexus or anything fancy like that. thankfully not as bad as my last post assumed, Jen when the time is right, moving out is going to be a great adventure, its obviously time. If you can afford not to work weekends I suggest you dont! Life is too short and your only young once. Enjoy your new found freedom.  |  IP: Logged Wayne Keyser Master Film Handler Posts: 272 From: Arlington, Virginia, USA Registered: May 2004 posted 11-25-2006 10:49 PM                     Can we take it a little easy on Jennifer? Twenty-odd years of family dynamics can easily override any other considerations. And those dynamics usually make very little sense to those who didn't grow up in that particular family. Advice from outside is often futile - you can't change a whole system with a simple injection of "good sense" - these people aren't stupid, they know what good sense is, but there's all that history, years of resentments, ways you've learned to deal with your kids (except they aren't kids anymore), etc. The only way to change a system is to change how you input into a system - and even then, change isn't guaranteed.  |  IP: Logged Will Kutler Phenomenal Film Handler Posts: 1506 From: Tucson, AZ, USA Registered: Feb 2001 posted 11-26-2006 04:57 PM                     Hi Jen Paying rent in one form or another entitles you to certain rights, unlike if you were living at home for free. If your family is really that bad, then the solution is to move out. Why not go to college and earn your B.S. Believe it or not you can survive at ASU w/o having to work part time, as the financial aid packages (grants, subsidized and unsubsidized loans) are enough to live on if you keep to a reasonable budget. Look into ASU, many good degree programs (depending on your interests). U of A and NAU might also be good choices. Enlisting in the United States Air Force might also be a good option.(I am a veteran) Depending on your chosen field you probably won't end up in Iraq. The USAF has the best standard of living of all the branches of service. You can go in for 4 years and then swap over to the reserves. While you are active duty they will pay for most of your college education...over and above the G.I. bill. The pay is not that bad and neither is the retirement. Plus there is also the VA medical benefits...and the Tucson VA and Phoenix VA are quite good! The downside of the USAF is the bullshit and politics...but if you come to work on time with a proper uniform and keep your mouth shut and just do your job you'll be ok and stay away from the party scene (booze and drugs) and keep your personal business straight then you'll be ok  |  IP: Logged Jennifer Pan THE JEN! Posts: 1219 From: Denver, Colorado Registered: Nov 2003 posted 11-26-2006 05:56 PM                        How about no.  |  IP: Logged Will Kutler Phenomenal Film Handler Posts: 1506 From: Tucson, AZ, USA Registered: Feb 2001 posted 11-26-2006 06:52 PM                     Well Jen You need to examine your options and take charge of your life. I am sure that there are several options available to help you get out from under your parents thumb. So the reality choice is: take charge or quit bitchin. I was on my own since I was 17...but still had my family. At 17 I was away at college. After college, with a bad economy I had the magnificant opportunity to travel and study abroad. When I came back there was still a shitty job economy in my professional field, so I opted for the USAF. After the USAF I opted for a mid-life career change (earned my AAS as a machinist) and am now at ASU-Polytechnic completing my BS in Manufacturing Engineering Technology. The job economy for this profession is excellent and should be making $50k-$60k out of college. In other words, YOU are in charge of your life. YOU decide to either take control or let others rule YA! K  |  IP: Logged Jennifer Pan THE JEN! Posts: 1219 From: Denver, Colorado Registered: Nov 2003 posted 11-26-2006 07:14 PM                        Then stop bringing it up, people on here are sounding more like parents and lecturing than relating... Which is what the intent of this thread was for. Hey MODS close this thread, better yet delete it because people are not happy when I "complain".  |  IP: Logged Brad Miller Administrator Posts: 17775 From: Plano, TX (36.2 miles NW of Rockwall) Registered: May 99 posted 11-26-2006 07:44 PM                     Just ignore those coots, The Jen. Somewhere between those two extremes lies your answer and sympathy anyway.  |  IP: Logged Will Kutler Phenomenal Film Handler Posts: 1506 From: Tucson, AZ, USA Registered: Feb 2001 posted 11-26-2006 08:13 PM                     Jen is acting like she is the only one in the world who has this problem and similar issues. Believe me when I say that I too had "family issues"!!!! So Jen, all I can say is the old cliche..."been there, done that" Yes, I too had many a family issue and can relate. So, from experience I can definately say that your destiny is in your hands! You can weigh your various options and then take action! What is an option? What do you ENJOY? Can you make a living at what you enjoy and STILL enjoy it? Is a college degree available in what you enjoy, and will it allow you to make a good career? This is the third suggestion that I have given you on how to get out from under your family's thumb!  |  IP: Logged Wayne Keyser Master Film Handler Posts: 272 From: Arlington, Virginia, USA Registered: May 2004 posted 11-26-2006 08:54 PM                     So you didn't like "One word: roommates." How about four words: Cot beside the projector?  |  IP: Logged Charles Greenlee Jedi Master Film Handler Posts: 801 From: Savannah, Ga, U.S. Registered: Jun 2006 posted 11-27-2006 12:37 PM                        It's always "You're not the only one that's had to deal with it", but that doesn't help, the person always feels as if their situation is special. I have found, for the most part, they're right, it is. In my situation at my theatre, I've gottan all kinds of suggestions, some as far out as having some shaman perform some sort of ritual or something. Nobody can fully understand what you experiance. They may have been in a similar situation, with similar parents, but not YOUR situation, and with YOUR parents. Just treat their advice like a pot pie. Eat the chicken and vegitables, and crust, and just pick out the peas.  |  IP: Logged Jennifer Pan THE JEN! Posts: 1219 From: Denver, Colorado Registered: Nov 2003 posted 11-27-2006 01:32 PM                        quote: Will Kutler Jen is acting like she is the only one in the world who has this problem and similar issues. I never said that. I was saying you guys are not telling stories about your parents but rather giving me advice that I've already considered a 1,000 times over and over, and I've looked at every possible angle way before I have even started this thread. Since 2 years ago, and yes... so staying with my parents is what I have chosen to do, and I was going to college since last semester. So ya'll need to chill, feels like a drive by gang bang.  |  IP: Logged Bill Gabel Film God Posts: 3873 From: Technicolor / Postworks NY, USA Registered: Jan 2002 posted 11-27-2006 02:05 PM                     Will your parents co-sign for you, if the landlord of said new apartment does not like your credit rating or the amount that you earn? Because the landlord will want that added security of who's paying if you can't. He's looking at the term of the lease you sign. And how long you have been working at your job(s) and types of jobs. I have a friend that had a good job and lived in the city (NYC), but she ed it up. So she moved to Brooklyn and another job. She ed that one up too. Another job and rented a room of another friend. She ed that one up too and still owes $1200 to that other friend. She moved in with another friend and was doing ok. The other friend moved out and she had to get a co-signer for the apartment. (her boyfriend) Well he paid half the rent and she still ed it up. And the landlord sued her and him because of non-payment of rent. Now she is renting a room at a friends house. But she is bitching about she does not like living there. That's all in 4 years that I've known her. Her credit history is up.  |  IP: Logged

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