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Topic: Are all divorces this friendly?

Brad Allen
Jedi Master Film Handler

Posts: 688
From: Evansville, IN, USA
Registered: May 2000

posted 07-14-2007 11:39 PM

Churchs are trying the same tact here with consoling. Except if they don't think you should get married, they won't let you use their church for the proceedings. And your on a black list to use the other churchs as well.

My son is one of the counselors in his church, he tells some real horror stories about the couples the come in "thinking" they are in love and ready for marriage.

Bobby, your right. The court system and laws lean real heavily towards the moms side. The laws havn't been updated since the time when most females "didn't work away from the home".

So Rick, are you back in Evansville now?

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Joshua Waaland
Jedi Master Film Handler

Posts: 800
From: Cleveland, Ohio
Registered: Dec 1999

posted 07-14-2007 11:53 PM

Our church doesn't put you on a black list (that I know of) but I do know they won't let you use their building or pastors to get married if they think you shouldn't be together. I'm sure if you wanted to you could just hop a flight to Las Vegas or somewhere. I'm sure the thought of going through the pre-marital counseling is enough to scare off anyone really doubting getting married anyhow.

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Dave Williams
Wet nipple scene

Posts: 1836
From: Salt Lake City, UT, USA
Registered: Jan 2000

posted 07-15-2007 08:52 AM

quote: Mark Gulbrandsen
It doesn't surprise me a bit that they threw it out... after all in the "LDS Church Run" state of Utah the man of the house still carries more importance and meaning than the lowly woman does... I'm glad that you are paying though... after all YOU are the father. Were you in any other state you'd probably have been put in jail.

I actually had an LDS (mormon) bishop tell me to stop paying the support so I could pay tithing instead. He told me it was my moral duty to pay the lord before supporting my children.

You are right, in any other state I would be locked up, and never would have the courts on my side. I am glad that I do have them on my side, as few men actually can ever get an upper hand.

On the flip side of that, I am the first to put out there that fathers MUST support thier children, not just financially, which is so very important, but emotionally as well. A disconnected father does so much damage to the kids he abandons. I know it is hard with many women taking a very punative approach to the fathers, but they have to have some balls and just do it and be men, not wimps and in direct result very bad examples of how to be a man or how to admire a man.

Paying support is only the beginning. Every father should do what they can regardless of the pain. I am lucky that I have a great wife that supports my desire to support my children finacially, and now my 16 year old son is moving in with me as a direct result of my continued support and upstanding example of being a man. He wants to spend his next few formative years with his dad. All it took was real hard work, dedication, and earnest efforts to connect with my ex.

I even sat down to dinner with her and her mother so we could iron things out. It took a lot of crow on my plate to get there, and it was uncomfortable, but so many guys just are not willing to do what they have to do to be men. I really think that is where our society is unravelling; men are refusing to be men.

Ciao

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John Wilson
Film God

Posts: 5438
From: Sydney, Australia.
Registered: Dec 1999

posted 07-15-2007 11:53 AM

quote: Dave Williams
It took a lot of crow on my plate to get there, and it was uncomfortable, but so many guys just are not willing to do what they have to do to be men. I really think that is where our society is unravelling; men are refusing to be men.

Dave,

I quite often enjoy reading your posts as they are more often than not heartfelt and straight-shooting.

This one is right up there with the best and there's absolutely no way I could agree more with what you said. Cheers to you my dear boy.

[thumbsup]

[ 07-25-2007, 09:20 AM: Message edited by: John Wilson ]

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Will Kutler
Phenomenal Film Handler

Posts: 1506
From: Tucson, AZ, USA
Registered: Feb 2001

posted 07-15-2007 04:28 PM

I have seen both great...and rotten marriages. And marriage does scare me.

Unfortunately, I have met a few gals in my life that I would really would have loved to have a relationship with, but it has always been the wrong time/wrong place.

I could never stand to be with a woman like those that Heffner surrounds himself with on his tv show "Girls Next Door"...brainless, self-centered, high maintenance!!! Only good for one thing!! And if Heffner was not rich, would these girls ever consider hanging around him? And what about the Paris Hilton types? Don't get me started!!!

I have had friends and known people whose new wife forced the husband to give up all his hobbies due to her jealousy...but she was able to have a "Emelda Marcos shoe closet", etc.

K

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Mark Gulbrandsen
Resident Trollmaster

Posts: 16657
From: Music City
Registered: Jun 99

posted 07-15-2007 05:12 PM

quote: Will Kutler
have had friends and known people whose new wife forced the husband to give up all his hobbies due to her jealousy...but she was able to have a "Emelda Marcos shoe closet", etc.

Well, around here its not shoes its rocks, minerals and silver n' gold so I guess I will say that WE have an Imelda Marcos Rock Closet. Fortunately my wife and I share the same interest this time round.

I agree with Will... if Heffner wasn't who he was he'd be laying in an old folks home!!

Mark

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Cameron Glendinning
Jedi Master Film Handler

Posts: 845
From: West Ryde, Sydney, NSW Australia
Registered: Dec 2005

posted 07-15-2007 06:25 PM

quote:
Lesson to be learned: Don't have kids!

umm I will never regret having my child, probably the best thing I've ever had happen to me, I would not say that about my marrage.

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Phil Hill
I love my cootie bug

Posts: 7595
From: Hollywood, CA USA
Registered: Mar 2000

posted 07-15-2007 06:31 PM

I totally agree with what you said, Cameron. I have 3 kids and 2 step kids. Oh, and ONE ex-wife! HA! [Smile]

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Joe Redifer
You need a beating today

Posts: 12859
From: Denver, Colorado
Registered: May 99

posted 07-15-2007 07:28 PM

The world is already hellishly overpopulated as it is. People really need to have less kids. To think that there's always a place on the planet for YOUR kids is ignorant. Only smart people should have kids, and usually they're the ones who don't. I like China's policy of murdering or eating the first born baby to each couple or whatever it is they do.

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Phil Hill
I love my cootie bug

Posts: 7595
From: Hollywood, CA USA
Registered: Mar 2000

posted 07-15-2007 07:35 PM

I agree, Joe! There are soooo many low-life's having kids that should be shot onsight....just look at the Jerry Springer/Maury shows!

Where the hell do they find those asshole low-life's? It makes me sick!

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Mike Heenan
Phenomenal Film Handler

Posts: 1896
From: Scottsdale, AZ, USA
Registered: Mar 2000

posted 07-15-2007 07:40 PM

quote: Teh Redifer
The world is already hellishly overpopulated as it is. People really need to have less kids. To think that there's always a place on the planet for YOUR kids is ignorant.

Thank god your parents had this arrogance/ignorance, otherwise we'd all be bored out of our skulls without your witty banter to counter Henderson's rants. [thumbsup]

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Joe Redifer
You need a beating today

Posts: 12859
From: Denver, Colorado
Registered: May 99

posted 07-15-2007 09:20 PM

They imprisoned my parents for having me.

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Steve Guttag
We forgot the crackers Gromit!!!

Posts: 12814
From: Annapolis, MD
Registered: Dec 1999

posted 07-15-2007 10:05 PM

And who says the justice system doesn't work (all the time)?

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Richard Hamilton
Phenomenal Film Handler

Posts: 1341
From: Evansville, Indiana
Registered: Jan 2000

posted 07-16-2007 10:18 PM

quote: Brad Allen
So Rick, are you back in Evansville now?

For the summer. Then I been talking to a few people about doing some service work for them. Hopefully I haven't forgotten how a projector works [Big Grin]

quote: Mark Gulbrandsen
What you really mean is that she took the Escalade

No, it was a Sport Trac, no comments about Fords being pieces of shit compared to your Land Dog [Big Grin]

Mike, I didn't even question her moving because of my job, I was always on the road anyway. I couldn't really blame her for wanting to get out of Omaha!

I'm working on visitation rights now and probably have to hire an attorney in St. Augustine to work on this. I left Omaha shortly after she moved. For a few months I wasn't working, so that $400 a week added up quick. Then I started doing some service calls and installations and would always send her half, anywhere from $500 to $1500 to job.

Christmas '05 I get home from a job to find a notice of a hearing down in Florida about the support. I called her and said I cant make it, I've already got a ticket for China and made the arrangements with the 2 companies I working for. This is the week of Christmas I get the letter and I'm leaving like the day after new year and the hearing is on the 4th. Since all the offices were closed that week, my dad said he would call and get a continuance. Her attorney didn't return any calls or respond to a couple of faxes my dad sent.

Since I didn't show up or have an attorney, I basically agreed to whatever they asked for. Which was about $7000 by the end of the month, which was now a couple days away, and $3500 each of the next 2 months. PLUS the $400 a week. If I didn't pay, then I was to turn myself into the St. Johns Jail.

Since I didn't pay, I have a warrant in Florida. That is why I can't go see my kids. Last summer my parents offered to drive down, pick them up, and then bring them back after a couple of weeks. Nothing fit her schedule.

Last year I got a service contract for $15,000 a year. I had them pay me monthly and I just signed the checks and gave them to my attorney, who then sent her a check. The last check was in March, and as soon as the money stopped, I was back in court. I explained to the judge that I was negotiating 2 more contracts. He told me to make an effort by getting a full time job, pay $150 a week, and pay $1000 by the end of the month, or face jail time. I failed to make the full amount on a couple of the weekly payments because I didn't earn that much, but I did pay $3000 instead of $1000. Her attorney still made it an issue about the couple of low weekly payments!

You wonder why I drink [fu]

Rick

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Pravin Ratnam
Jedi Master Film Handler

Posts: 844
From: Atlanta, GA,USA
Registered: Sep 2002

posted 07-18-2007 09:35 PM

One thing I never understood is preventing dads from seeing their kids for non child support is not just punishment for the dad, but for the kids too.

I also hate the fact that attorneys of all stripes think they deserve to get paid high amounts. My buddy hired a divorce lawyer who charges him $350 an hour. He is supposed to be the best in the business in MN. When I asked him if his wife who has an uncle with all the spare time in the world reprsenting her realizes that his high priced attorney fees could go to her if she was willing to settle reasonably, he said she was so greedy that she was willing to take that chance.

ALso, when I asked him if he had to pay that much, he told me that he hired a $200 an hour laywer who was so incompetent, he ponied up for the $350 an hour lawyer who was actually a better value. This is what sucks - even a lame lawyer charges 200 an hour. What a profession.

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