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This topic comprises 5 pages: 1 2 3 4 5
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Author
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Topic: Star Trek (2009)
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Bobby Henderson
"Ask me about Trajan."

Posts: 10973
From: Lawton, OK, USA
Registered: Apr 2001
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posted 05-29-2009 09:37 PM
I finally watched "Star Trek" - The New and Improved 90120 iphone, ADD, I'm fucking addicted to Ritalin user" version last night.
Overall, on its own, Star Trek is an entertaining movie. I think it would be especially entertaining for any very young movie-goer not familiar at all with previous Star Trek movies and TV series episodes.
But then that's just it. Anyone familiar with previous Star Trek movies and TV series episodes stands a good chance of having nagging feelings of "this new movie just doesn't seem right."
I can forgive some of the liberties taken with the storyline of the original saga. But blowing up certain specific planets and killing off certain characters (and leaving others conspicuously alive) just as the reboot is getting on its feet is really pushing things a LOT.
I'm not a big "trekkie/trekker" fan, but even I was muttering to myself, "that shit never happened that way." The time warp, worm hole, whatever the hell you want to call it is just a damned cheat. A cheap shot in screenwriting revisionism. In the end it plays just as cheap and suck-ass-tastic as that part of the Dallas TV series where Bobby Ewing was stone fucking dead. But in the end Pamela (Victoria Principal and her luscious big nips) finds out that the whole damned thing was just a dream! American viewers are re-fucking-tarded! Jeez!!!
I don't know, maybe the things that tainted this otherwise decent movie were some of the small things.
For one, I really HATED the music score on this movie. It had totally NOTHING to do with the Star Trek saga. Normally Michael Giacchino does a good job with the music he scores for various movies and TV shows. But this score seemed absolutely forgettable.
Complaints about lens flares are at the very bottom of the list for me. I don't mind those style choices at all. Not in the slightest.
What I really disliked was the ADD - short attention span, spastic, I can't concentrate on one shot longer than 12 frames bullshit editing pace that went on in some of the more important action set pieces of this movie. It was a bunch of frantic bullshit without enough sense of organization. There was NO "music" to the editing. It sucked. I'll laugh out loud if this movie wins an Academy Award several months from now for best film editing.
Here's the point. Think of the edit pace in terms of tasty rock guitar solos. The very best rock guitar solos of all time are NOT anywhere near the fastest or most surgically precise. The best ones are ones that you can remember and ones that you actually "feel" to a certain extent. I can listen to great guitar solos from Eric Clapton, Jeff Beck or even Jerry Cantrell from Alice in Chains and just be in heaven from listening. Then fucking Yngwie Malmsteen walks on the stage proclaiming to be the fastest guitarist of all time with his screwy Fender Strat with the custom scalloped neck. He plays and plays faster than all fucking hell. But I am absolutely BORED OFF MY ASS. Fuck the tailpipe of an overheating racecar! I am BORED!!! Yeah, he's playing all great and fast, but it's just a shitload of scales. Boring, damned scales. Nothing more. Nothing creative. No feeling.
Female friends I know have similar complaints about certain men they date. Some men are in touch with their sensuality and know how to feel. These ladies get great sex from that. Then they complain about other assholes who screw like they're trying to finish an exercise workout in record time. Jackhammer sex with nothing more involved than getting off. No feeling involved. The ladies aren't going to feel like going back for another round of that crap. They can get better satisfaction from the little battery operated pocket rocket they have at home.
My analogies about shitty yet fast guitar solos and stupidly bad goal oriented sex absolutely apply to this Star Trek movie. Yeah, it's entertaining for what it was. But I'm with on this. It's worth seeing once. But I'm not going to be buying this movie on Blu-ray.
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