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Author Topic: Chain Letters Bob Maar (Maar stands for Maartini) Posts: 28608 From: New York City & Newport, RI Registered: Feb 2001 posted 10-21-2003 11:51 AM                        Rated G Sit back and relax as you reflect back on the good ol' days.... DO YOU REMEMBER WHEN...? All the girls had ugly gym uniforms? It took five minutes for the TV warm up? Nearly everyone's Mom was at home when the kids got home from school? Nobody owned a purebred dog? When a quarter was a decent allowance? You'd reach into a muddy gutter for a penny? Your Mom wore nylons that came in two pieces? All your male teachers wore neckties and female teachers had their hair done every day and wore high heels? You got your windshield cleaned, oil checked, and gas pumped, without asking, all for free, every time? And you didn't pay for air?  And, you got trading stamps to boot? Laundry detergent had free glasses, dishes or towels hidden inside the box? It was considered a great privilege to be taken out to dinner at a real restaurant with your parents? They threatened to keep kids back a grade if they failed. . ..and they did? When a 57 Chevy was everyone's dream car...to cruise, peel out, lay rubber or watch submarine races, and people went steady? No one ever asked where the car keys were because they were always in the car, in the ignition, and the doors were never locked? Lying on your back in the grass with your friends and saying things like, "That cloud looks like a ." and playing baseball with no adults to help kids with the rules of the game? Stuff from the store came without safety caps and hermetic seals because no one had yet tried to poison a perfect stranger? And with all our progress, don't you just wish, just once, you could slip back in time and savor the slower pace, and share it with the children of today? When being sent to the principal's office was nothing compared to the fate that awaited the student at home? Basically we were in fear for our lives, but it wasn't because of drive-by shootings, drugs, gangs, etc. t Our parents and grandparents were a much bigger threat!  But we survived because their love was greater than the threat. Send this on to someone who can still remember Nancy Drew, the Hardy Boys, Laurel and Hardy, Howdy Dowdy and the Peanut Gallery, the Lone Ranger, The Shadow Knows, Nellie Bell, Roy and Dale, Trigger and Buttermilk. As well as summers filled with bike rides, baseball games, Hula Hoops, bowling and visits to the pool, and eating Kool-Aid powder with sugar. Didn't that feel good, just to go back and say, "Yeah, I remember that"? I am sharing this with you today  because it ended with a double dog dare to pass it on. To remember what a double dog dare is, read on. And remember that the perfect age is somewhere between old enough to know better and too young to care. How many of these do you remember? Candy cigarettes Wax Coke-shaped bottles with colored sugar water inside Soda pop machines that dispensed glass bottles Coffee shops with tableside jukeboxes Blackjack, Clove and Teaberry chewing gum Home milk delivery in glass bottles with cardboard stoppers Newsreels before the movie P.F. Fliers Telephone numbers with a word prefix....(Raymond 4-601). Party lines Peashooters Howdy Dowdy 45 RPM records Green Stamps Hi-Fi's Metal ice cubes trays with levers Mimeograph paper Beanie and Cecil Roller-skate keys Cork pop guns Drive ins Studebakers Washtub wringers The Fuller Brush Man Reel-To-Reel tape recorders Tinkertoys Erector Sets The Fort Apache Play Set Lincoln Logs 15 cent McDonald hamburgers 5 cent packs of baseball cards - with that awful pink slab of bubble gum Penny candy 35 cent a gallon gasoline Jiffy Pop popcorn Do you remember a time when... Decisions were made by going "eeny-meeny-miney-moe"? Mistakes were corrected by simply exclaiming, "Do Over!"? "Race issue" meant arguing about who ran the fastest? Catching the fireflies could happily occupy an entire evening? (and it did ) It wasn't odd to have two or three "Best Friends"? The worst thing you could catch from the opposite sex was "cooties"? Having a weapon in school meant being caught with a slingshot? A foot of snow was a dream come true? Saturday morning cartoons weren't 30-minute commercials for action figures? "Oly-oly-oxen-free" made perfect sense? Spinning around, getting dizzy, and falling down was cause for giggles? The worst embarrassment was being picked last for a team? War was a card game? Baseball cards in the spokes transformed any bike into a motorcycle? Taking drugs meant orange-flavored chewable aspirin? Water balloons were the ultimate weapon? If you can remember most or all of these, then you have lived!!!!!!! Pass this on to anyone who may need a break from their "grown-up" life . . .I double-dog-dare-ya!  |  IP: Logged Bob Maar (Maar stands for Maartini) Posts: 28608 From: New York City & Newport, RI Registered: Feb 2001 posted 10-21-2003 12:20 PM                        Rated G PSA - PSA - PSA This one, allegedly true, worth reading and passing on.I learned something I never knew or thought about...... The story goes that a 36 year old female had an accident several weeks ago and totaled her car. A resident of Kilgore, Texas, she was traveling between Gladewater &Kilgore. It was raining, though not excessive, when her car suddenly began to hydroplane and literally flew through the air. She was not seriously injured but very stunned at the sudden occurrence! When she explained to the highway patrolman what had happened, he told her something that every driver should know: NEVER DRIVE IN THE RAIN WITH YOUR CRUISE CONTROL ON. She had thought she was being cautious by setting the cruise control and maintaining a safe, consistent speed in the rain. But the highway patrolman told her that if the cruise control is on and your car begins to hydroplane - when your tires loose contact with the pavement - your car will accelerate to a higher rate of speed and you take off like an airplane. She told the patrolman that was exactly what had occurred. We all know you have little or no control over a car when it begins to hydroplane. You are at the mercy of the Good Lord. The Highway Patrol estimated her car was actually traveling through the air at 10 to 15 miles per hour faster than the speed set on the cruise control. The patrolman said this warning should be listed on the drivers seat sun-visor - NEVER USE THE CRUISE CONTROL WHEN THE PAVEMENT IS WET OR ICY - along with the airbag warning. We tell our teenagers to set the cruise control and drive a safe speed - but we don't tell them to use the cruise control only when the pavement is dry. The only person the accident victim found who knew this (besides the patrolman) was a man who had had a similar accident, totaled his car and sustained severe injuries. [If you send this to several in your Address Book and only one of them doesn't know about this, then it was all worth it, because you might have saved a life.]  |  IP: Logged Bob Maar (Maar stands for Maartini) Posts: 28608 From: New York City & Newport, RI Registered: Feb 2001 posted 10-22-2003 02:53 AM                        Rated G Faye in Kingston,Ont Heavenly Father, Help us remember that the jerk who cut us off in traffic last night is a single mother who worked nine hours that day and is rushing home to cook dinner, help with homework, do the laundry and spend a few precious moments with her children. Help us to remember that the pierced, tattooed, disinterested young man who can't make change correctly is a worried 19-year-old college student, balancing his apprehension over final exams with his fear of not getting his student loans for next semester. Remind us, Lord, that the scary looking bum, begging for money in the same spot every day (who really ought to get a job!) is a slave to addictions that we can only imagine in our worst nightmares. Help us to remember that the old couple walking annoyingly slow through the store aisles and blocking our shopping progress are savoring this moment, knowing that, based on the biopsy report she got back last week, this will be the last year that they go shopping together. Heavenly Father, remind us each day that, of all the gifts you give us, the greatest gift is love. It is not enough to share that love with those we hold dear. Open our hearts not to just those who are close to us, but to all humanity. Let us be slow to judge and quick to forgive, show patience, empathy and love. If you send this to 5 people then you have a chance to touch 5 people. You won't get any wish for material things, however you might just find a piece of serenity and the warmth of God's touch.  |  IP: Logged Bob Maar (Maar stands for Maartini) Posts: 28608 From: New York City & Newport, RI Registered: Feb 2001 posted 10-22-2003 04:31 AM                        Rated G Diane in Reno You Are Blessed If you woke up this morning with more health than illness, you are more blessed than the million who won't survive the week. If you have never experienced the danger of battle, the loneliness of imprisonment, the agony of torture or the pangs of starvation, you are ahead of 20 million people around the world. If you attend a church meeting without fear of harassment, arrest, torture, or death, you are more blessed than almost three billion people in the world. If you have food in your refrigerator, clothes on your back, a roof over your head and a place to sleep, you are richer than 75% of this world. If you have money in the bank, in your wallet, and spare change in a dish someplace, you are among the top 8% of the world's wealthy. If your parents are still married and alive, you are very rare, especially in the United States. If you hold up your head with a smile on your face and are truly thankful, you are blessed because the majority can, but most do not. If you can hold someone's hand, hug them or even touch them on the shoulder, you are blessed because you can offer God's healing touch. If you can read this message, you are more blessed than over two billion people in the world that cannot read anything at all. You are so blessed in ways you may never even know.  |  IP: Logged Bob Maar (Maar stands for Maartini) Posts: 28608 From: New York City & Newport, RI Registered: Feb 2001 posted 10-27-2003 02:05 PM                        Rated G Michael G Newport There's some mighty fine advice in these words, even if you're notsuperstitious. This Lotus Totus has been sent to you for good luck fromthe Anthony Robbins organization.It has been sent around the world ten times so far.You will receive good luck within four days of relaying this Lotus Totus. Do not keep this message. The Lotus Totus must leave your hands in 6 MINUTES.Otherwise you will get a very unpleasant surprise.This is true,even if you are not superstitious,agnostic,or otherwise faith impaired. ONE. Give people more than they expect and do it cheerfully. TWO. Marry a man/woman you love to talk to. As you get older, their conversational skills will be as important as any other. THREE. Don't believe all you hear, spend all you have or sleep all you want. FOUR. When you say, "I love you," mean it. FIVE. When you say, "I'm sorry," look the person in the eye. SIX. Be engaged at least six months before you get married. SEVEN. Believe in love at first sight. EIGHT. Never laugh at anyone's dreams. People who don't have dreams don't have much. NINE. Love deeply and passionately. You might get hurt but it's the only way to live life completely. TEN. In disagreements, fight fairly. No name calling. ELEVEN. Don't judge people by their relatives TWELVE. Talk slowly but think quickly. THIRTEEN. When someone asks you a question you don't want to answer, smile and ask, "Why do you want to know?" FOURTEEN. Remember that great love and great achievements involve great risk. FIFTEEN. Say "bless you" when you hear someone sneeze. SIXTEEN. When you lose, don't lose the lesson SEVENTEEN. Remember the three R's: Respect for self; Respect for others; and Responsibility for all your actions. EIGHTEEN. Don't let a little dispute injure a great friendship. NINETEEN. When you realize you've made a mistake, take immediate steps to correct it. TWENTY. Smile when picking up the phone. The caller will hear it inyour voice. TWENTY-ONE. Spend some time alone.  |  IP: Logged Bob Maar (Maar stands for Maartini) Posts: 28608 From: New York City & Newport, RI Registered: Feb 2001 posted 10-28-2003 11:38 AM                        Rated PG Via: Dennis in Yonkers Benefits of sex!!!!!!!!!!! You've gotta read this. It's hilarious! Be sure to read the Warning at the bottom. Did you know that you can tell from the skin whether a person is sexually active or not? 1. Sex is a beauty treatment. Scientific tests find that when women make love they produce amounts of the hormone oestrogen, which makes hair shine and skin smooth. 2. Gentle, relaxed lovemaking reduces your chances of suffering dermatitis, skin rashes and blemishes. The sweat produced cleanses the pores and makes your skin glow. 3. Lovemaking can burn up those calories you piled on during that romantic dinner. 4. Sex is one of the safest sports you can take up. It stretches and tones up just about every muscle in the body. It's more enjoyable than swimming 20 laps, and you don't need special sneakers! 5. Sex is an instant cure for mild depression. It releases endorphins into the bloodstream, producing a sense of euphoria and leaving you with a feeling of well-being. 6. The more sex you have, the more you will be offered. The sexually active body gives off greater quantities of chemicals called pheromones. These subtle sex perfumes drive the opposite sex crazy! 7. Sex is the safest tranquillizer in the world.IT IS 10 TIME MORE EFFECTIVE THAN VALIUM. 8. Kissing each day will keep the dentist away.Kissing encourages saliva to wash food from the teeth and lowers the level of the acid that causes decay, preventing plaque build-up. 9. Sex actually relieves headaches. A lovemaking session can release the tension that restricts blood vessels in the brain. 10. A lot of lovemaking can unblock a stuffy nose. Sex is a natural antihistamine. It can help combat asthma and hay fever. This message has been sent to you for good luck in sex. The original is in a room in Palaiseau. It has been sent around the world nine times. Now sex has been sent to you. The "Hot Sex Fairy" will visit you within four days of receiving this message, provided you, in turn, send it on. If you don't, then you will never receive good sex again for the rest of your life. You will eventually become celibate, and your genitals will rot and fall off. This is no joke! Send copies to people you think need sex (who doesn't?). Don't send money, as the fate of your genitals has no price. Do not keep this message. This message must leave your e-mail in 96! hours. Please send ten copies and see what happens in four days. Since the copy must tour the world, you must send it. This is true, even if you are not superstitious. GOOD SEX, but please remember: 10 copies of this message must leave your e-mail in 96 hours or you will not have good sex again for the rest of your life:D  |  IP: Logged Bob Maar (Maar stands for Maartini) Posts: 28608 From: New York City & Newport, RI Registered: Feb 2001 posted 11-17-2003 12:18 PM                        Rated G Donna in Phoenix THINGS GOD WON'T ASK God won't ask what kind of car you drove,He'll ask how many people you drove who didn't have transportation. God won't ask the square footage of your house, He'll ask how many people you welcomed into your home. God won't ask about the clothes you had in your closet, He'll ask how many you helped to clothe. God won't ask what your highest salary was,He'll ask if you compromised your character to obtain it. God won't ask what your job title was, He'll ask if you performed your job to the best of our ability. God won't ask how many friends you had,He'll ask how many people to whom you were a friend. God won't ask in what neighborhood you lived,He'll ask how you treated your neighbors. God ! won't ask about the color of your skin,He'll ask about the content of your character. God won't ask why it took you so long to seek Salvation,He'll lovingly take you to your mansion in heaven,and not to the gates of Hell. God won't ask how many people you forwarded this to,He'll ask if you were ashamed to pass it on to your friends.  |  IP: Logged Bob Maar (Maar stands for Maartini) Posts: 28608 From: New York City & Newport, RI Registered: Feb 2001 posted 11-18-2003 07:07 AM                        Rated G MY CODE OF UNDERSTANDING Subject: As I get older... The lessons I've learned as I've matured: I've learned that you cannot make someone love you. All you can do is stalk them and hope they panic and give in. I've learned that one good turn gets most of the blankets. I've learned that no matter how much I care, some people are just jack asses. I've learned that whatever hits the fan will not be evenly distributed. I've learned that you shouldn't compare yourself to others - they are more screwed up than you think. I've learned that depression is merely anger without enthusiasm. I've learned that it is not what you wear, it is how you take it off. I've learned that you can keep vomiting long after you think you're finished. I've learned to not sweat the petty things, and not pet the sweaty things. I've learned that ex's are like fungus, and keep coming back. I've learned age is a very high price to pay for maturity. I've learned that I don't suffer from insanity, I enjoy it. I've learned that we are responsible for what we do, unless we are celebrities. I've learned that artificial intelligence is no match for natural stupidity. I've learned that 99% of the time when something isn't working in your house, one of your kids did it. I've learned that there is a fine line between genius and insanity.                      I've learned that the people you care most about in life are taken from you too soon and all the less important ones just never go away.  And the real pains in the ass are permanent. Pass this along to five friends...trust me, they'll appreciate it.Who  knows, maybe something good will happen.  If not...tough.      As Always ... Keep grinning ... it makes people wonder what you are up to  |  IP: Logged Bob Maar (Maar stands for Maartini) Posts: 28608 From: New York City & Newport, RI Registered: Feb 2001 posted 12-03-2003 02:31 PM                        Rated G Dear Sir, Following the sudden removal of my husband Charles Taylor from office as the President of Liberia in August 2003.I have been thrown into a state of utter confusion,frustration and hopelessness by the present civilian administration. The security agents in the country have subjected me to physical and psychological torture. This is because my husband dropped me and went into exile/asylum with his youngest wife to Nigeria. You must have heard over the media reports and the Internet about various huge sums of money deposited by my husband in different security firms abroad. I will give you more information as to this regard in due course.I repose great confidence in you hence my approach to you.But due to security network placed on my day to day affairs I cannot afford to visit the embassy, so that is why I decided to contact you and I hope you will not betray my confidence in you. I have deposited the sum of 40.3 million dollars with a security firm in MORNACO whose name is withheld for now until we open communication.I shall be grateful if you could receive this fund into your account for safekeeping. You and my son Ndanusa Taylor alone know this arrangement, and my son will deal directly with you as security is up my whole being.I am seriously considering to settle down abroad in a friendly atmosphere as soon as this fund get into your account so that I can start all over again. If only you wish,you can help me to take delivery of the fund,otherwise, you can help me in diverting this fund into your account which will accrue you 30% of this fund. Please I will require your telephone and fax numbers so that we can commence communication immediately and I will give you a more detailed picture of things.In case you don't accept please do not let me out to the security as I am giving you this information with total trust and confidence I will greatly appreciate if you accept my proposal in good faith. Please expedite action. Regards, Julie Taylor Although, I received this in an e-mail from jtaylor.mrs@fsmail.net please feel free to answer yourself.  |  IP: Logged Bob Maar (Maar stands for Maartini) Posts: 28608 From: New York City & Newport, RI Registered: Feb 2001 posted 12-03-2003 03:48 PM                        Rated G LAS in CT (A must read for people over 25 yrs of age). People over 25 should be dead.To the survivors:According to today's regulators and bureaucrats,those of us who were kids in the 40's, 50's, 60's & 70's,probably shouldn't have survived. Our baby cribs were covered with bright colored lead-based paint. We had no childproof lids on medicine bottles, doors or cabinets, and when we rode our bikes, we had no helmets. (Not to mention the risks we took hitchhiking.) As children, we would ride in cars with no seat belts or air bags. Riding in the back of a pickup truck on a warm day was always a special treat. We drank water from the garden hose and not from a bottle. Horrors! We shared one soft drink with four friends, from one bottle, and no one actually died from this. We ate cupcakes, bread and butter, and drank soda pop with sugar in it, but we were never overweight because we were always outside playing.. We would leave home in the morning and play all day, as long as we were back when the street lights came on. No one was able to reach us all day. No cell phones. Unthinkable. We would spend hours building our go-carts out of scraps and then rode down the hill, only to find out we forgot the brakes. After running into the bushes a few times, we learned to solve the problem. We did not have Playstations, Nintendo 64, X-Boxes, no video games at all, no 99 channels on cable, video tape movies, surround sound, personal cell phones, personal computers, or Internet chat rooms. We had friends! We went outside and found them. We fell out of trees, got cut and broke bones and teeth, and there were no lawsuits from these accidents. We made up games with sticks and tennis balls and ate worms, and although we were told it would happen, we did not put out very many eyes, nor did the worms live inside us forever. We rode bikes or walked to a friend's home and knocked on the door, or rang the bell or just walked in and talked to them. Little League had tryouts and not everyone made the team. Those who didn't had to learn to deal with disappointment. The idea of a parent bailing us out if we broke a law was unheard of.They actually sided with the law. Imagine that! This generation has produced some of the best risk-takers and problem solvers and inventors, ever. The past 50 years have been an explosion of innovation and new ideas. We had freedom, failure,success and responsibility, and we learned how to deal with it all.And you're one of them! Congratulations. Please pass this on to others who have had the luck to grow up as kids, before lawyers and government regulated our lives, for our own good. Kind of makes you want to run through the house with scissors?  |  IP: Logged Bob Maar (Maar stands for Maartini) Posts: 28608 From: New York City & Newport, RI Registered: Feb 2001 posted 12-09-2003 10:04 AM                        Rated G This is why I try not to forget to say I love YOU.... This has not been broken since 9/11/01, please keep it going... This has been kept alive and moving since 9/11. In memory of all those who perished this morning; the passengers and the pilots on the United Air and AA flights, the workers in the World Trade Center and the Pentagon, and all the innocent bystanders.. Our prayers go out to the friends and families of the deceased. IF I KNEW If I knew it would be the last time That I'd see you fall asleep, I would tuck you in more tightly and pray the Lord, your soul to keep. If I knew it would be the last time that I see you walk out the door, I would give you a hug and kiss and call you back for one more. If I knew it would be the last time I'd hear your voice lifted up in praise, I would video tape each action and word, so I could play them back day after day. If I knew it would be the last time, I could spare an extra minute to stop and say "I love you," instead of assuming you would KNOW I do. If I knew it would be the last time I would be there to share your day, Well I'm sure you'll have so many more, so I can let just this one slip away. For surely there's always tomorrow to make up for an oversight, and we always get a second chance to make everything just right. There will always be another day to say "I love you," And certainly there's another chance to say our "Anything I can do?" But just in case I might be wrong, and today is all I get, I'd like to say how much I love you and I hope we never forget. Tomorrow is not promised to anyone, young or old alike, And today may be the last chance you get to hold your loved one tight. So if you're waiting for tomorrow, why not do it today? For if tomorrow never comes, you'll surely regret the day, That you didn't take that extra time for a smile, a hug, or a kiss and you were too busy to grant someone, what turned out to be their one last wish. So hold your loved ones close today, and whisper in their ear, Tell them how much you love them and that you'll always hold them dear Take time to say "I'm sorry," "Please forgive me," "Thank you," or "It's okay." And if tomorrow never! comes, you'll have no regrets about today. Send this to at least 10 people to show your support. PLEASE DON'T BREAK IT!!!!!! Keep it going !!!!!!  |  IP: Logged Bob Maar (Maar stands for Maartini) Posts: 28608 From: New York City & Newport, RI Registered: Feb 2001 posted 12-09-2003 10:42 AM                        Rated G Do you realize that the only time in our lives when we like to get old is when we're kids? If you're less than 10 years old, you're so excited about aging that you think in fractions. "How old are you?" "I'm four and a half!" You're never thirty-six and a half. You're four and a half, going on five!   That's the key.   You get into your teens, now they can't hold you back. You jump to the next number, or even a few ahead. "How old are you?" "I'm gonna be 16!" You could be 13, but hey,you're gonna be 16! And then the greatest day of your life . . you become 21.. Even the words sound like a ceremony . . . YOU BECOME 21. YESSSS!!! But then you turn 30. Oooohh, what happened there? Makes you sound like bad milk.He TURNED; we had to throw him out. There's no fun now,you're Just a sour-dumpling. What's wrong? What's changed? You BECOME 21, you TURN 30, then you're PUSHING 40. Whoa! Put on the brakes, it's all slipping away. Before you know it,you REACH 50 . . .. and your dreams are gone. But wait!!! You MAKE it to 60. You didn't think you would! So you BECOME 21, TURN 30, PUSH 40, REACH 50 and MAKE it to 60. You've built up so much speed that you HIT 70! After that it's a day-by-day thing; you HIT Wednesday! You get into your 80s and every day is a complete cycle; you HIT lunch; you TURN 4:30; you REACH bedtime. And it doesn't end there. Into the 90s, you start going backwards; "I Was JUST 92." Then a strange thing happens. If you make it over 100, you become a little kid again. "I'm 100 and a half!" May you all make it to a healthy 100 and a half!!   HOW TO STAY YOUNG 1. Throw out nonessential numbers. This includes age, weight and height..Let the doctors worry about them. That is why you pay them.   2. Keep only cheerful friends. The grouches pull you down.   3. Keep learning. Learn more about the computer, crafts, gardening, whatever. Never let the brain idle. " An idle mind is the devil's workshop." And the devil's name is Alzheimer's.   4. Enjoy the simple things.   5. Laugh often, long and loud. Laugh until you gasp for breath.   6. The tears happen. Endure, grieve, and move on. The only person who is with us our entire life, is ourselves. Be ALIVE while you are alive.   7. Surround yourself with what you love, Whether it's family, pets, keepsakes, music, plants, hobbies, whatever. Your home is your refuge.   8. Cherish your health: If it is good, preserve it. If it is unstable, improve it. If it is beyond what you can improve, get help.   9. Don't take guilt trips. Take a trip to the mall, even to the next county; to a foreign country but NOT to where the guilt is.   10. Tell the people you love that you love them, at every opportunity.   AND ALWAYS REMEMBER: Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away. And if you don't send this to at least 8 people - who cares? But do share this with someone. We all need to live life to its fullest each day.  |  IP: Logged Bob Maar (Maar stands for Maartini) Posts: 28608 From: New York City & Newport, RI Registered: Feb 2001 posted 12-16-2003 05:03 PM                        Rated G Dear Mr. Ex President Clinton: I recently saw a bumper sticker that said, "Thank me, I voted for Clinton-Gore." So, I sat down and reflected on that, and I am sending my "Thank you" for what you have done, specifically: 1. Thank you for introducing us to Jennifer Flowers, Paula Jones, Monica Lewinsky, Dolly Kyle Browning, Kathleen Willey, and Juanita Broderick. Did I leave anyone out? 2. Thank you for teaching my 8 year old about oral sex. I had really planned to wait until they were older to discuss it with them,but now they know more about it than I did as a senior in college. 3. Thank you for showing us that sexual harassment in the work place (especially the White House) and on the job is OK, and all you have to know is what the meaning of "is" is. It really is great to know that certain sexual acts are not sex, and one person may have sex while the other one involved does NOT have sex. 4. Thank you for reintroducing the concept of impeachment to a new generation and demonstrating that the ridiculous plot of the movie "Wag the Dog" could be plausible after all. 5. Thanks for making Jimmy Carter look competent, Gerald Ford look graceful,Richard Nixon look honest,Lyndon Johnson look truthful,and John Kennedy look moral. 6. Thank you for the 73 House and Senate witnesses who have pled the 5th Amendment and 17 witnesses who have fled the country to avoid testifying about Democratic campaign fund raising. 7. Thank you, for the 19 charges, 8 convictions, and 4 imprisonments from the Whitewater "mess" and the 55 criminal charges and 32 criminal convictions (so far) in the other "Clinton" scandals. 8. Thanks also for reducing our military by half, "gutting" much of our foreign policy, and flying all over the world on "vacations" carefully disguised as necessary trips. 9. Thank you,also,for "finding" millions of dollars--- I really didn't need it in the first place,and I can't think of a more well deserving group of recipients for my hard-earned dollars than jet fuel for all of your globe-trotting.I understand you;the family and you r cronies have logged in more time aboard Air Force One than any other administration. 10. Now that you've left the White House, thanks for the 140 pardons of convicted felons and indicted felons-in-exile. We will love to have them rejoin society. 11. Thanks also for removing the White House silverware.I'm sure that Laura Bush didn't like the pattern anyway.Also enjoy the housewarming gifts you've received from your "friends." 12. Thanks to you and your staff in the West Wing of the White House for vandalizing and destroying government property on the way out.I also appreciate removing all of that excess weight (China, silverware, linen, towels, ash trays, soap, pens, magnetic compass,flight manuals, etc.)out of Air Force 1. The weight savings means burning less fuel,thus less tax dollars spent on jet fuel.Thank you! 13. And finally,please ensure that Hillary enjoys the $8 million dollar advance for her upcoming "tell-all" book and you, Bill, the $10 million advance for your memoirs.Who says crime doesn't pay! 14. The last and most important point - thank you for forcing Israel to let Mohammed Atta go free. Terrorist pilot Mohammed Atta blew up a bus in Israel in 1986. The Israelis captured, tried and imprisoned him. As part of the Oslo agreement with the Palestinians in 1993, Israel had to agree to release so-called "political prisoners".However,the Israelis would not release any with blood on their hands.The American President at the time,Bill Clinton,and his Secretary of State,Warren Christopher,"insisted" that all prisoners be released.Thus Mohammed Atta was freed and eventually thanked the US by flying an airplane into Tower One of the World Trade Center.This was reported by many of the American TV networks at the time that the terrorists were first identified. It was censored in the US from all later reports. Why shouldn't Americans know the real truth? What a guy! If you agree that the American public must be made aware of these facts, pass this on. God bless America and THANK YOU (once again) for spending my taxes so wisely and frugally. SINCERELY, A US Citizen PS. Please pass along a special thank you to Al Gore for "inventing" the Internet,without which I would not be able to send this wonderful factual e-mail. AND THE REST OF THE STORY Hillary Rodham Clinton, as a New York State Senator, now comes under the "Congressional Retirement and Staffing Plan," which means that even if she never gets reelected, she STILL receives her Congressional salary until she dies. (Would it not be nice if all Americans were pension eligible after only 4 years?) If Bill outlives her, he then inherits HER salary until HE dies. He is already getting his Presidential salary until he dies. If Hillary outlives Bill, she also gets HIS salary until she dies. Guess who pays for that? WE DO! It's common knowledge that in order for her to establish NY residency,hey purchased a million dollar-plus house in upscale Chappaqua,New York.Makes sense.They are entitled to Secret Service protection for life. Still makes sense. Here is where it becomes interesting.Their mortgage payments hover at around $10,000 per month.BUT,an extra residence HAD to be built within the acreage to house the Secret Service agents. The Clintons charge the Federal government $10,000 monthly rent for the use of that extra residence,which is just about equal to their mortgage payment.This means that we,the taxpayers,are paying the Clinton's salary,mortgage,transportation,safety and security,as well as the salaries for their 12 man staff -- and, this is all perfectly legal! When she runs for President,will you vote for her? How many people can YOU send this to?  |  IP: Logged Bob Maar (Maar stands for Maartini) Posts: 28608 From: New York City & Newport, RI Registered: Feb 2001 posted 12-17-2003 09:51 AM                        Rated G Dennis in Yonkers Will we still be the Country of choice and still be America if we continue to make the changes forced on us by the people from other countries that came to live in America because it is the Country of Choice?????? Think about it . . . All I have to say is, when will they do something about MY RIGHTS? I celebrate Christmas, but because it isn't celebrated by everyone, we can no longer say Merry Christmas.Now it has to be Season's Greetings.It's not Christmas vacation,it's Winter Break.Isn't it amazing how this winter break ALWAYS occurs over the Christmas holiday? We've gone so far the other way, bent over backwards to not offend anyone,that I am now being offended. But it seems that no one has a problem with that. This says it all! This is an editorial written by an American citizen, published in a Tampa newspaper. He did quite a job; didn't he? Read on, please! IMMIGRANTS,NOT AMERICANS,MUST ADAPT. I am tired of this nation worrying about whether we are offending some individual or their culture. Since the terrorist attacks on Sept. 11,we have experienced a surge in patriotism by the majority of Americans.However,the dust from the attacks had barely settled when the "politically correct" crowd began complaining about the possibility that our patriotism was offending others. I am not against immigration,nor do I hold a grudge against anyone who is seeking a better life by coming to America.Our population is almost entirely made up of descendants ofn immigrants.However,there are a few things that those who have recently come to our country,and apparently some born here, need to understand.This idea of America being a multicultural community has served only to dilute our sovereignty and our national identity. As Americans,we have our own culture, our own society,our own language and our own lifestyle. This culture has been developed over centuries of struggles,trials,and victories by millions of men and women who have sought freedom. We speak ENGLISH, not Spanish,Portuguese,Arabic,Chinese, Japanese,Russian,or any other language.Therefore,if you wish to become part of our society,learn the language! "In God We Trust" is our national motto. This is not some Christian, right wing, political slogan. We adopted this motto because Christian men and women,on Christian principles,founded this nation, and this is clearly documented.It is certainly appropriate to display it on the walls of our schools.If God offends you, then I suggest you consider another part of the world as your new home, because God is part of our culture. If Stars and Stripes offend you, or you don't like Uncle Sam, then you should seriously consider a move to another part of this planet.We are happy with our culture and have no desire to change, and we really don't care how you did things where you came from.This is OUR COUNTRY,our land,and our lifestyle.Our First Amendment gives every citizen the right to express his opinion and we will allow you every opportunity to do so. But once you are done complaining, whining, and griping about our flag,our pledge,our national motto,or our way of life,I highly encourage you take advantage of one other great American freedom, THE RIGHT TO LEAVE. If you agree -- pass this along; if you don't agree -- delete it! AMEN I figure if we all keep passing this to our friends (and enemies) it will also, sooner or later get back to the complainers, lets all try, please  |  IP: Logged Bob Maar (Maar stands for Maartini) Posts: 28608 From: New York City & Newport, RI Registered: Feb 2001 posted 12-19-2003 09:14 AM                        Rated G Diane in Reno In light of the many jokes we send to one another for a laugh, this is a little different: This is not intended to be a joke, it's not funny, it's intended to get you thinking. Billy Graham's daughter was interviewed on the Early Show and Jane Clayson asked her "How could God let something like this happen?" (regarding the attacks on Sept. 11). Anne Graham gave an extremely profound and insightful response. She said "I believe God is deeply saddened by this, just as we are, but for years we've been telling God to get out of our schools, to get out of our government and to get out of our lives." "And being the gentleman He is, I believe He has calmly backed out. How can we expect God to give us His blessing and His protection if we demand He leave us alone?" "In light of recent events...terrorists attack, school shootings, etc. I think it started when Madeleine Murray O'Hare (she was murdered, her body found recently) complained she didn't want prayer in our schools, and we said OK." "Then someone said you better not read the Bible in school ... the Bible says thou shalt not kill, thou shalt not steal, and love your neighbor as yourself. And we said OK." "Then Dr. Benjamin Spock said we shouldn't spank our children when they misbehave because their little personalities would be warped and we might damage their self-esteem (Dr. Spock's son committed suicide)." "We said an expert should know what he's talking about. And we said OK." "Now we're asking ourselves why our children have no conscience, why they don't know right from wrong, and why it doesn't bother them to kill strangers, their classmates, and themselves." "Probably, if we think about it long and hard enough, we can figure it out. I think it has a great deal to do with "WE REAP WHAT WE SOW." Funny how simple it is for people to trash God and then wonder why the world's going to hell. Funny how we believe what the newspapers say, but question what the Bible says. Funny how you can send 'jokes' through e-mail and they spread like wildfire but when you start sending messages regarding the Lord, people think twice about sharing. Funny how lewd, crude, vulgar and obscene articles pass freely through cyberspace, but public discussion of God is suppressed in the school and workplace. Are you laughing? Funny how when you forward this message, you will not send it to many on your address list because you're not sure what they believe, or what they WILL think of you for sending it. Funny how we can be more worried about what other people think of us than what God thinks of us. Pass it on if you think it has merit. If not then just discard it... no one will know you did. But, if you discard this thought process, don't sit back and complain about what bad shape the world is in!  |  IP: Logged

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